[Music]
you
are you the kind of person who craves
more joy would like to experience
expansive happiness wants to feel more
pleasure relish is a good laugh or
simply wants to delight in elation well
then I have a talk for you I’m here
today because I’m passionate about the
science behind happiness and more
importantly how you can apply that
science to your life to grow nurture and
cultivate happiness and it all starts
with this now we know what that stands
for right you got it right where’s the
focus of course right when I can
scientifically show you that what you
focus on grows and expands that you can
change your brain to change your life
then you’ll be able to use that
knowledge apply it to experience greater
happiness and ultimately achieve your
goals dreams and desires you see many of
my clients have this misconception about
happiness they believe if they simply
had more money or a nicer car house a
better job or dare I say even a new
partner they would be happier
so I share with them that there’s
actually a scientific formula for
happiness and it looks like this
happiness is the sum of your genetic
disposition how you were born your
circumstances the job the house the
partner and your voluntary actions the
thoughts that you think and the things
that you do now let me ask you this how
much of your happiness do you think is
actually a result of those circumstances
well believe it or not scientific
research has shown us it’s less than 10%
which basically means the other 90% is
up to you and most of that’s how you
train your brain you see happiness is
not a mystery happy
is a mental skill it’s a practice and
you literally have to train your brain
and the pathways in your brain to fire
for joy so let’s review a little bit of
the science behind that
it starts with neuroplasticity which
simply means that your brain is not hard
set or rigid like scientists once
thought it’s actually malleable
adaptable it’s plastic and it changes
over your lifetime research has shown us
that the thoughts that you think over
and over again and the things that you
do over and over again
literally form new neural pathways in
your brain while those no longer in use
simply prune themselves away now this
neuroplasticity
system can work for you or against you
what you focus on grows and strengthens
those pathways now everything we do
requires the neurons in our brains to
communicate with each other
neurotransmitters are responsible for a
wide range of processes in our body
including things like joy happiness and
pleasure and we can actually grow more
of these feel-good feelings by getting
our body to naturally produce more of
them so I’d like to talk about two of my
favorites dopamine dopamine is linked to
your reward center it’s often referred
to as a motivational hormone it’s the I
can do it Center when you have adequate
levels of dopamine you feel energized
upbeat and alert when you don’t it feels
like the Blues or the blahs you can
naturally produce more dopamine dopamine
in your body simply by setting goals and
achieving them I actually like to take
even larger goals and break them down to
little mini tasks that way I get a drip
of dopamine by accomplishing each one of
them exercise get your dopamine flowing
listening to your favorite song
and meditation is incredibly beneficiary
beneficial to your dopamine oh and I
almost forgot one Liss making lists and
marking them off actually get your
dopamine flowing and as you can tell I’m
that type of person who if I did
something and it’s not on my list I add
it just for the pleasure of marking it
off serotonin
oh sweet serotonin how I love thee
serotonin elevates your mood and aids
and things like your sleep and your
appetite it boosts your confidence and
self-esteem it increases your feelings
of worthiness and belonging when your
serotonin is low you’re cranky you’re
irritable and you have a negative
attitude you can naturally increase your
serotonin by just getting a little bit
of sunlight natural light vitamin D
exercise again getting a massage is
helpful reflecting on a happy or
significant moment helps your serotonin
as well and even eating chocolate as a
matter of fact just the anticipation of
eating chocolate for me gets my
serotonin going it’s dancing the the oh
the sound of the rapper and rapping gets
it going the smell of the chocolate gets
my serotonin flowing and the taste okay
come on you guys get in on this
serotonin cell now is it time to have
your chocolate your reticular activating
system is a really small part of your
brain but it plays a vital role your
reticular activating system acts as a
filter you see our brain takes in
millions of bits of information per
second and our conscious mind can’t
handle all of that so your reticular
activating system filters down and tells
us what to focus on the thing is is that
it’s your thoughts that set help set the
parameters of what we think is important
let me give you an example
all the clothes rights for just a moment
I want you to imagine the color orange
okay open your eyes now I want you look
around the room and notice orange orange
the orange was always there but you just
hold your brains pay attention to it
so now you’re gonna notice it and you’re
probably gonna notice it all day you see
our brains are incredibly fast and
amazing which is great when it comes to
our survival not necessarily so great
when it comes to our happiness though
when it comes to our happiness we often
want to learn to slow down our fast
brains so that we have the opportunity
to go in the direction we want and not
just letting our brain hijack us let me
give you an example about how fast and
incredible the editing powers of your
brain are remember when I showed you
this what did your brain do it filtered
down told you the meaning right you knew
exactly what that stood for now
you were absolutely wrong I did it was
quick okay so when it comes to happiness
we want to learn to slow that process
down we want to use this basic
understanding of neuroscience and a
quiet so that we don’t let our brain
simply hijack us so how do we do that
well I believe that how is where a great
deal of the magic of designing a happy
life lives and the how is all in the
pause you need to learn and teach your
brain to pause before it ultimately
reacts by creating the pause you can
choose which way you want your thoughts
to go instead of your brain dictating it
for you but how do we do that when we’re
in the midst of a stressful or
challenging situation particularly how
do we get our brains to stop well you
need to master and craft interrupter
skills you need to purposely construct
an interruption so that you can tell
your brain where you want to go instead
of letting it take over it gives you an
opportunity to have another thought any
other thought
oh you know when your mind is messing
with you it’s doing a number on you
you’re obsessively worrying about
something
are you rating yourself over and over
again why did I do this why did I do
that I call that a mind freaked out by
the way you need to have a mind freak
out interrupter or an MFI so when it
comes to my happiness I’ve several MF
eyes that I use my first and favorite is
the pause button I actually literally
imagine that I have a giant pause button
in my brain anytime my brain is taking
and going down a path I may not want it
to go I simply push that pause button
that gives me an opportunity to consider
hey is this what I want happening right
now is this where I want my thoughts to
go another favorite MFI of mine is to
realize that I am the star director and
author of the Christine shader show so
if this movie is not going the way I
like I simply say plot twist let me give
you an example about five minutes into
the chat I noticed Eric back there yawn
so hard his eyes literally watered and
snoozy up here she’s had a blank look on
her face this entire time so all of a
sudden my fast brain takes over and says
oh my gosh Christine you are pouring
these poor folks to tears and I start
feeding that fear instead since I’ve
mastered MFIs I simply say plot twist
and I say to myself you know what Eric’s
just tired because he spent countless
hours putting together this amazing
program for us and Susie well obviously
she is so enraptured with every word I’m
saying
but she doesn’t even want to blink or
she’ll miss something by the way all of
that happened in an instant because I’ve
trained my brain I’ve practiced this
some other MF eyes that I use are to go
for a walk I changed my scenery I leave
I go somewhere a distraction I may ride
my bike by the way both of which are
great to get those feel-good feelings
and compounds dancing in your head I may
pick up a book watch a movie call a
friend now remember if you call a friend
what you focus on grow so don’t be
talking about what you don’t want do
anything to create a distraction so that
you can give yourself the opportunity to
have another thought okay so you know
all about the interrupter you’re gonna
go home and create your own you have to
make them personal okay you’re gonna
practice them because that’s the key
practice practice practice
but then what how do you choose another
thought well that’s where the shopping
comes in guys you get a go shopping best
shopping ever because you’re shopping
for a happiness causing the brain
literally allows yourself the
opportunity to ask yourself some
questions like are the things I’m even
saying true is there perhaps another way
of looking at this now remember you want
to try on several thoughts pick the one
that feels good do you feel expansive
happy or restrictive remember that
situations have no meaning you assign
the meaning to them based on your fast
brain your past experiences how you
relate to yourself and others in the
world all dictate how you perceive
things in coaching we call this ability
to shop for happiness reframing when you
can take another look at something and
change your perspective on it you can
change your experience of it and that
can be life changing if you want more
happiness in your life you want to lean
into that direction which by the way is
probably a good time for me to tell you
this is not about being positive all the
time you are enough your whole complete
and perfect just the way you are
look we’re human we were born and
designed to experience a wide range of
emotions and all emotions have value if
you think about it anger anger cues you
it tells you to pay attention it
motivates you
sadness is is cleansing cathartic it’s
releasing you know sometimes life throws
things at us that are tragic sad or
challenging we do not need to sugarcoat
those things what you need to know is
that you don’t have to stay there that
you can move on through the emotions so
if you’re sad be sad feel it the key to
happiness is knowing that you can move
to the next best feeling that next best
feeling might actually be anger be
ticked off be angry and when anger no
longer serves you know that you can move
into the next best feeling which might
be surprised that you’re so angry
or maybe acceptance or hope moving your
feelings along so let me share with you
a real-life example of how this worked
out for me recently my husband and I
were traveling through the San Francisco
Airport and we arrived to the TSA
counter and there was an agent there who
informed me that I would need to step
out of line and check my bag well I was
surprised because it’s the same carry-on
bag I take on all my business trips it
fits in the overhead compartment so I
explained as much to him and he said
ma’am were not allowing roller bags on
the plane this morning okay first time
I’d ever heard that so I asked him well
do you mind if I check my bag after we
get through security and he said ma’am
exit the line and Chuck your bag
so my husband and I exited the line and
we went and checked our bags and then we
proceeded through the TSA security
screening area
I placed my purse on the conveyor belt I
went through the body scan assumed the
position I got my normal pat-down of my
big hair they always think I’m hiding
something there and then I have waited
for my purse on the other side of the
conveyor belt and I waited and there was
that dreaded reversal of the purse you
know that belt were there looking at
your bag again and I thought to myself
oh my heavens what did I leave in my
purse do I have a nail file in there a
bottle of water what could it possibly
be so sure enough the TSA agent takes
the bag out asked whose it is mine could
you follow me over here ma’am absolutely
so I followed her over to her little
area and she set the purse down and she
said ma’am it appears you have something
that looks like a horseshoe in your
purse and I recalled that I did indeed
have a small horse to my purse
I had just attended a wedding the day
before and they gave him out as seat
assignments and party favors all in one
brilliant idea by the way so cute
and I said oh well that’s because I have
a horseshoe and I went to pull it out of
the bag to show her and she literally
slapped my hand back so I step back
she’s like don’t touch the bag I step
back and she proceeded to pull the
horseshoe out and she said ma’am
you will not be permitted to take this
on the plane with you you’ll have to
check it I would love to check it but I
don’t have a jacket so I asked why and
she said ma’am it could be used as a
weapon
really now all of a sudden all of these
neurotransmitters are doing a thing in
my head and they’re not the feel-good
fuzzy ones by the way Adrenaline’s
pumping my heart’s pumping you know I’m
like I’m ready to fight so because I
have MFI skills I push the pause button
and I ask myself is this worth losing my
cool over
this is worth getting upset over is this
worth lowering my vibration and you know
what I decided it was so I asked to
speak to a supervisor so the supervisor
comes over and he says ma’am you will
not be permitted to take the horseshoe
on the plane with you
and I said why he said because it could
be used as a weapon
so I said help and I am not kidding i
sat back and disbelief as he put it
around three of his fingers and said I
could use it as brass knuckles so I said
a few choice words and also added that I
would really love to use it at brass
knuckles right now I which time my
husband instantly put his arm around me
which gave me another opportunity to
push that button which allowed me to
quiet my fast brain long enough for me
to realize this might not end well for
me these people have tasers who are the
very least they’re not gonna let me on
the point so I looked at the supervisor
I said look do what you got to do toss
it if you must and I turned to my
husband and I said baby let’s go find
some chocolate so I’d like to leave you
with this this is a quote from the book
the happiness connection and it’s my
favorite quote once you understand that
every thought you think every word you
speak every belief you hold is a brush
stroke in the painting of your life you
begin to see the magic you bestow upon
the creation of your life’s masterpiece
thank you so much make it a happy day
thank you
you
you
are you the kind of person who craves
more joy would like to experience
expansive happiness wants to feel more
pleasure relish is a good laugh or
simply wants to delight in elation well
then I have a talk for you I’m here
today because I’m passionate about the
science behind happiness and more
importantly how you can apply that
science to your life to grow nurture and
cultivate happiness and it all starts
with this now we know what that stands
for right you got it right where’s the
focus of course right when I can
scientifically show you that what you
focus on grows and expands that you can
change your brain to change your life
then you’ll be able to use that
knowledge apply it to experience greater
happiness and ultimately achieve your
goals dreams and desires you see many of
my clients have this misconception about
happiness they believe if they simply
had more money or a nicer car house a
better job or dare I say even a new
partner they would be happier
so I share with them that there’s
actually a scientific formula for
happiness and it looks like this
happiness is the sum of your genetic
disposition how you were born your
circumstances the job the house the
partner and your voluntary actions the
thoughts that you think and the things
that you do now let me ask you this how
much of your happiness do you think is
actually a result of those circumstances
well believe it or not scientific
research has shown us it’s less than 10%
which basically means the other 90% is
up to you and most of that’s how you
train your brain you see happiness is
not a mystery happy
is a mental skill it’s a practice and
you literally have to train your brain
and the pathways in your brain to fire
for joy so let’s review a little bit of
the science behind that
it starts with neuroplasticity which
simply means that your brain is not hard
set or rigid like scientists once
thought it’s actually malleable
adaptable it’s plastic and it changes
over your lifetime research has shown us
that the thoughts that you think over
and over again and the things that you
do over and over again
literally form new neural pathways in
your brain while those no longer in use
simply prune themselves away now this
neuroplasticity
system can work for you or against you
what you focus on grows and strengthens
those pathways now everything we do
requires the neurons in our brains to
communicate with each other
neurotransmitters are responsible for a
wide range of processes in our body
including things like joy happiness and
pleasure and we can actually grow more
of these feel-good feelings by getting
our body to naturally produce more of
them so I’d like to talk about two of my
favorites dopamine dopamine is linked to
your reward center it’s often referred
to as a motivational hormone it’s the I
can do it Center when you have adequate
levels of dopamine you feel energized
upbeat and alert when you don’t it feels
like the Blues or the blahs you can
naturally produce more dopamine dopamine
in your body simply by setting goals and
achieving them I actually like to take
even larger goals and break them down to
little mini tasks that way I get a drip
of dopamine by accomplishing each one of
them exercise get your dopamine flowing
listening to your favorite song
and meditation is incredibly beneficiary
beneficial to your dopamine oh and I
almost forgot one Liss making lists and
marking them off actually get your
dopamine flowing and as you can tell I’m
that type of person who if I did
something and it’s not on my list I add
it just for the pleasure of marking it
off serotonin
oh sweet serotonin how I love thee
serotonin elevates your mood and aids
and things like your sleep and your
appetite it boosts your confidence and
self-esteem it increases your feelings
of worthiness and belonging when your
serotonin is low you’re cranky you’re
irritable and you have a negative
attitude you can naturally increase your
serotonin by just getting a little bit
of sunlight natural light vitamin D
exercise again getting a massage is
helpful reflecting on a happy or
significant moment helps your serotonin
as well and even eating chocolate as a
matter of fact just the anticipation of
eating chocolate for me gets my
serotonin going it’s dancing the the oh
the sound of the rapper and rapping gets
it going the smell of the chocolate gets
my serotonin flowing and the taste okay
come on you guys get in on this
serotonin cell now is it time to have
your chocolate your reticular activating
system is a really small part of your
brain but it plays a vital role your
reticular activating system acts as a
filter you see our brain takes in
millions of bits of information per
second and our conscious mind can’t
handle all of that so your reticular
activating system filters down and tells
us what to focus on the thing is is that
it’s your thoughts that set help set the
parameters of what we think is important
let me give you an example
all the clothes rights for just a moment
I want you to imagine the color orange
okay open your eyes now I want you look
around the room and notice orange orange
the orange was always there but you just
hold your brains pay attention to it
so now you’re gonna notice it and you’re
probably gonna notice it all day you see
our brains are incredibly fast and
amazing which is great when it comes to
our survival not necessarily so great
when it comes to our happiness though
when it comes to our happiness we often
want to learn to slow down our fast
brains so that we have the opportunity
to go in the direction we want and not
just letting our brain hijack us let me
give you an example about how fast and
incredible the editing powers of your
brain are remember when I showed you
this what did your brain do it filtered
down told you the meaning right you knew
exactly what that stood for now
you were absolutely wrong I did it was
quick okay so when it comes to happiness
we want to learn to slow that process
down we want to use this basic
understanding of neuroscience and a
quiet so that we don’t let our brain
simply hijack us so how do we do that
well I believe that how is where a great
deal of the magic of designing a happy
life lives and the how is all in the
pause you need to learn and teach your
brain to pause before it ultimately
reacts by creating the pause you can
choose which way you want your thoughts
to go instead of your brain dictating it
for you but how do we do that when we’re
in the midst of a stressful or
challenging situation particularly how
do we get our brains to stop well you
need to master and craft interrupter
skills you need to purposely construct
an interruption so that you can tell
your brain where you want to go instead
of letting it take over it gives you an
opportunity to have another thought any
other thought
oh you know when your mind is messing
with you it’s doing a number on you
you’re obsessively worrying about
something
are you rating yourself over and over
again why did I do this why did I do
that I call that a mind freaked out by
the way you need to have a mind freak
out interrupter or an MFI so when it
comes to my happiness I’ve several MF
eyes that I use my first and favorite is
the pause button I actually literally
imagine that I have a giant pause button
in my brain anytime my brain is taking
and going down a path I may not want it
to go I simply push that pause button
that gives me an opportunity to consider
hey is this what I want happening right
now is this where I want my thoughts to
go another favorite MFI of mine is to
realize that I am the star director and
author of the Christine shader show so
if this movie is not going the way I
like I simply say plot twist let me give
you an example about five minutes into
the chat I noticed Eric back there yawn
so hard his eyes literally watered and
snoozy up here she’s had a blank look on
her face this entire time so all of a
sudden my fast brain takes over and says
oh my gosh Christine you are pouring
these poor folks to tears and I start
feeding that fear instead since I’ve
mastered MFIs I simply say plot twist
and I say to myself you know what Eric’s
just tired because he spent countless
hours putting together this amazing
program for us and Susie well obviously
she is so enraptured with every word I’m
saying
but she doesn’t even want to blink or
she’ll miss something by the way all of
that happened in an instant because I’ve
trained my brain I’ve practiced this
some other MF eyes that I use are to go
for a walk I changed my scenery I leave
I go somewhere a distraction I may ride
my bike by the way both of which are
great to get those feel-good feelings
and compounds dancing in your head I may
pick up a book watch a movie call a
friend now remember if you call a friend
what you focus on grow so don’t be
talking about what you don’t want do
anything to create a distraction so that
you can give yourself the opportunity to
have another thought okay so you know
all about the interrupter you’re gonna
go home and create your own you have to
make them personal okay you’re gonna
practice them because that’s the key
practice practice practice
but then what how do you choose another
thought well that’s where the shopping
comes in guys you get a go shopping best
shopping ever because you’re shopping
for a happiness causing the brain
literally allows yourself the
opportunity to ask yourself some
questions like are the things I’m even
saying true is there perhaps another way
of looking at this now remember you want
to try on several thoughts pick the one
that feels good do you feel expansive
happy or restrictive remember that
situations have no meaning you assign
the meaning to them based on your fast
brain your past experiences how you
relate to yourself and others in the
world all dictate how you perceive
things in coaching we call this ability
to shop for happiness reframing when you
can take another look at something and
change your perspective on it you can
change your experience of it and that
can be life changing if you want more
happiness in your life you want to lean
into that direction which by the way is
probably a good time for me to tell you
this is not about being positive all the
time you are enough your whole complete
and perfect just the way you are
look we’re human we were born and
designed to experience a wide range of
emotions and all emotions have value if
you think about it anger anger cues you
it tells you to pay attention it
motivates you
sadness is is cleansing cathartic it’s
releasing you know sometimes life throws
things at us that are tragic sad or
challenging we do not need to sugarcoat
those things what you need to know is
that you don’t have to stay there that
you can move on through the emotions so
if you’re sad be sad feel it the key to
happiness is knowing that you can move
to the next best feeling that next best
feeling might actually be anger be
ticked off be angry and when anger no
longer serves you know that you can move
into the next best feeling which might
be surprised that you’re so angry
or maybe acceptance or hope moving your
feelings along so let me share with you
a real-life example of how this worked
out for me recently my husband and I
were traveling through the San Francisco
Airport and we arrived to the TSA
counter and there was an agent there who
informed me that I would need to step
out of line and check my bag well I was
surprised because it’s the same carry-on
bag I take on all my business trips it
fits in the overhead compartment so I
explained as much to him and he said
ma’am were not allowing roller bags on
the plane this morning okay first time
I’d ever heard that so I asked him well
do you mind if I check my bag after we
get through security and he said ma’am
exit the line and Chuck your bag
so my husband and I exited the line and
we went and checked our bags and then we
proceeded through the TSA security
screening area
I placed my purse on the conveyor belt I
went through the body scan assumed the
position I got my normal pat-down of my
big hair they always think I’m hiding
something there and then I have waited
for my purse on the other side of the
conveyor belt and I waited and there was
that dreaded reversal of the purse you
know that belt were there looking at
your bag again and I thought to myself
oh my heavens what did I leave in my
purse do I have a nail file in there a
bottle of water what could it possibly
be so sure enough the TSA agent takes
the bag out asked whose it is mine could
you follow me over here ma’am absolutely
so I followed her over to her little
area and she set the purse down and she
said ma’am it appears you have something
that looks like a horseshoe in your
purse and I recalled that I did indeed
have a small horse to my purse
I had just attended a wedding the day
before and they gave him out as seat
assignments and party favors all in one
brilliant idea by the way so cute
and I said oh well that’s because I have
a horseshoe and I went to pull it out of
the bag to show her and she literally
slapped my hand back so I step back
she’s like don’t touch the bag I step
back and she proceeded to pull the
horseshoe out and she said ma’am
you will not be permitted to take this
on the plane with you you’ll have to
check it I would love to check it but I
don’t have a jacket so I asked why and
she said ma’am it could be used as a
weapon
really now all of a sudden all of these
neurotransmitters are doing a thing in
my head and they’re not the feel-good
fuzzy ones by the way Adrenaline’s
pumping my heart’s pumping you know I’m
like I’m ready to fight so because I
have MFI skills I push the pause button
and I ask myself is this worth losing my
cool over
this is worth getting upset over is this
worth lowering my vibration and you know
what I decided it was so I asked to
speak to a supervisor so the supervisor
comes over and he says ma’am you will
not be permitted to take the horseshoe
on the plane with you
and I said why he said because it could
be used as a weapon
so I said help and I am not kidding i
sat back and disbelief as he put it
around three of his fingers and said I
could use it as brass knuckles so I said
a few choice words and also added that I
would really love to use it at brass
knuckles right now I which time my
husband instantly put his arm around me
which gave me another opportunity to
push that button which allowed me to
quiet my fast brain long enough for me
to realize this might not end well for
me these people have tasers who are the
very least they’re not gonna let me on
the point so I looked at the supervisor
I said look do what you got to do toss
it if you must and I turned to my
husband and I said baby let’s go find
some chocolate so I’d like to leave you
with this this is a quote from the book
the happiness connection and it’s my
favorite quote once you understand that
every thought you think every word you
speak every belief you hold is a brush
stroke in the painting of your life you
begin to see the magic you bestow upon
the creation of your life’s masterpiece
thank you so much make it a happy day
thank you
you
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