did you ever try to do something very
simple really basic but at the end of
the day you discover that it was a big
deal and somehow revolutionary I did
imagine with me that you are in a bakery
shop in a very snowy and cold day in
Palestine not Pakistan Palestine and I
arrived to be the last one in a queue
which was unsurprisingly consisted only
of men I was standing there and all of a
sudden and old man came and he was
shouting while addressing the men and
telling them don’t you have respect
shame on you
how come you let the girl to be the last
one in the queue let her pass first and
everyone was confused and embarrassed
and looking at me at the same time and I
saw it in their eyes they were somehow
cursing the father who let his daughter
to go out in such a snowy day to maybe
get stuck here in this bakery among men
and at the same time they were
questioning doesn’t she has brother a
cousin a relative even a male neighbor
shame on her on and on her family then I
decided to speak I told him but I want
to respect the queue and I want to wait
for my turn and suddenly all of the eyes
which were looking at me while being
full of embarrassment I started to look
at me while being full of blame and
disgust and then the same old man he
said the end of world is approaching
which is a translation that means that
look at this girl who’s trying to put
herself in the men’s shoes you know I
decided to to learn how to ride a bike
only one year ago I never had one I
never asked to have one
and in fact it’s it’s a boys thing in
Palestine but I bought one to our garden
and after one month I became an expert
and I decided to go outside of the
borders of our garden
I want our town and it was the first
time of my life someone confronts me in
the eye and tell me ok I will say it
they told me bitch
and the thing that made that day even
worse that I hear that call that that’s
that word from other four men I went
home I was really sad I was depressed
but at the second day I decided to try
again it was even worse much worse words
and when I went home I was also sad and
depressed and at the same time they made
me feel that I brought shame to our
family to our family name do you know
what I did in the third day I took my
headphones I walked with my bicycle I
was really confident I just could you
know concentrated on the landscape and
that’s it I went home I was happy I was
content
I was proud of myself after one month of
self-training I was on my bicycle in my
town without any serious injuries and
every day that I was going to our house
telling my father about this stuff he
was telling me about the stereotype the
fact that you know the girls do not do
this thing here because they always told
them that because if if she go out on
the bicycle it’s Tom’s it’s something
not from our culture it is something
that just to show her body – it’s a boy
thing just to imitate boys and he was
supporting me actually I did not explain
it well it was not me the one who by
about the bike it was him who bought it
for me
Palestinian society is complex indeed I
don’t like
to use the word underdeveloped it’s just
complex it’s a cocktail of religions
traditions ethics families and
everything and those you know concepts
are interrelated in them in an implicit
and explicit way let’s take the things
from the beginning I come from a big
family in fact this is not moving yeah I
have seven sisters and this is not
something favorable not in term of
number but in term of gender and this is
makes us you know nine females and not
in one house and for my father
the booth father so in fact also this
number can tell you another thing that
about my father and my mother attempts
to have a male member in the family my
mother told me that whenever she was
going to the doctor to check the gender
of the baby she was having this two
reaction either she was blaming because
it’s your fault it’s a female or she was
they were telling her don’t worry next
time will be the male in shallow you
have to try again and I don’t know if it
is fortunately or unfortunately that it
took them eight attempts without
counting the miscarriages
to be convinced that we will not make
the society to stress us any more and we
will not have that male member anymore
in fact now if you can see this picture
three of them of those girls have Bhd
and the others they have their masters
and actually everyone found her own
birth and in her and her own career
during my last visit to Palestine we had
this family gathering the sisters the
husbands of the sisters the nieces they
refused the mothers in law I don’t know
why and everyone I was looking I was
looking at my father and I saw that tear
in the corner of his eye and I was
curious at the same time I went to him
and I asked him
that what if what if we we’re all boys
maybe as you wished he told me then
Allah maybe no one will be around me I
raised eight strong girls that can stand
for their own rights while being full of
confident but it’s quite inspiring that
I have such a father I have such an
understanding family but it’s not the
case so it’s not the case for the old
families in Palestine in fact a lot of
girls they are banned to go to schools
they are banned to go to university and
sometimes they are banned to go to the
streets alone without her brother and in
fact in the worst cases they are banned
to be alive such as honor killing the
girls sometimes she feels that she’s in
a transition period in her family house
she’s just a gift and she has to be
customized to go to the husband’s house
because of that a lot of girls whenever
she asked a question to her mother mom
can I go out with my friend to the
shopping mall her mother will say to her
of course not
until you get married what if your
future husband found out that you want
alone with your friend no she can go and
ask mum can I go to a trip with my
friend which is a girl of course the
mother will say of course not and then
you get married what if your future has
been found out that you went alone with
your friend and sometimes it can be a
very silly question like mum can I cut
my hair she will say of course not what
if your future husband like the long
hair until you get married
and that’s it the girl is she feels that
she only customized for this prince
charming the anonymous one and she has
to fulfill a certain criteria let me
tell you about this criteria she has to
be thin tall long hair beautiful in
general and she has to have the ability
to have endless number of children she
has to be educated to teach the children
but
not to have any ambition to go to work
and she has to look to cook as his
mother style she has to love his mother
his sister’s his auntie’s his neighbors
anyone he loves she has to obey the
rules all the time and she has always to
be ready to have something she has
always to be ready to have Derr Derr my
friend
it means the second wife so if you want
to have a happily ever after life
without having anyone sharing this life
with you it’s better to stick up to that
criteria and to stay thin all the time
and so you will not have this the room
and the surprising thing that you go to
the other side to the man style and you
see
okay what’s the criteria that is you
know for the man side it’s only
consisted of two things two points first
of all he has to have a birth
certificate an ID that satisfies that
certifies that he is a man and actually
nowadays it’s enough to write that on
Facebook and the other thing that he has
to have you know a little bit of money
so he can do that decent weeding and
that’s it the marriage can happen and
the fact that a lot of girls they accept
that I can understand but when I go to
to my you know to my friends the friends
who were with me in the college and I
find out that a lot of them they accept
to have such kind of marriage I start
the question why why you have your dream
you have a future plan you told me about
that but she will answer that she is
afraid to be labeled as honest before I
tell you the meaning of the honest I
just want you to try to say it honest
it’s just an ugly word ugly word I don’t
like it so honest means the unmarried
girl and most precisely its the
unmarried girl who is above 30 years old
and
a lot of girls they are afraid of being
honest because it’s mainly means two
things either that you are ugly so now
no one accepted you as a wife or you
lack the sufficient ethics and morals so
no one accepted you as a decent wife so
because of that a lot of girls they are
just running away of such a concept they
don’t want such a concept so what they
do they accept to enter the marriage
market they simply accept to be a
watermelon you can find such a kiosks in
Palestine and summer in the streets and
actually the summer is also the wedding
season and anyone can go to the – such a
kiosk and too big a watermelon just
because of the appearance of the water
main on time because it’s promises a
good taste and that’s it and this is how
such a marriage happens they don’t know
each other no matter if she’s happy no
matter if he is also happy it’s just
about not being honest you know I was a
watermelon once I will tell you the
story
a strange man he heard about me he came
to our house and you know with his
family and he wanted to compare what he
heard with the reality and when he came
to our house I was i I went there and of
course it was an arrangement and my
family convinced me and we don’t want to
get embarrassed we told the people to
come and you know society bla bla bla I
went there and they start shaking hands
and when I wanted to shake hands with
him he did like this because he doesn’t
shake hands because he is conservative
and but at the same time I saw him he
was checking every inch of my body do
you know to to check his watermelon if
it’s a good one or not
and then we were speaking then he asked
my father to go to another room so we
can get to know each other’s more and I
saw the look on my father eyes he wanted
to kill him but he said ok we
to the other rooms and he started to do
a presentation about himself about his
work about his education and then he
started about his expectations from me
and I stopped him I told him I’m not the
one you’re looking for I have a future
plans I want to continue my education
and I’m not that kind of person that you
tell me what to wear or what to do I’m
sorry
and then when went out of our house I
told my father that I really felt bad
and he told me you know let’s the
society go to health
we will not care about society anymore
my daughters are not for sale and it was
the last time in our family history that
that happened and in fact I decided that
a to be Allah for Allah Allah not Allah
my name to be Allah for Allah and not a
lot for the others and actually a lot of
Spanish teen young girls they are doing
that right now they are sick of being a
ghost’s they are sick of being behind
the scenes they are sick of being
watermelons they just want to be by year
they just want to fulfill their own
dreams they just want to get rid of the
chains of that or the society that gave
us by heritage you know once
jean-paul Satre said hell is other
people
and I can’t agree with any other
definition about Hell or people you know
I stand here and I challenge a lot of
things
I challenge society I challenge
traditions and most importantly I
challenge whatever that will be said
about me or whatever I will be labeled
when I will go to Palestine at 27 years
old girl which makes me almost honest
who who who was who was living alone
when you’re abroad without any one of
her family member but I don’t care
because I intend to raise awareness
among other girls to go out and to go
out from their comfort zone to just
fulfill their dreams the things that
they wanted to do and I stand here and I
have a very important declaration to do
it’s a decision that I took years ago
but I keep reminding myself off I stand
here before you and I declare that I am
NOT a watermelon and I will not be and I
encourage everyone here males and
females to decide for your own to not
let any stereotype control your life to
just simply challenge the impossible it
all begins with you not with the others
thank you
[Applause]
simple really basic but at the end of
the day you discover that it was a big
deal and somehow revolutionary I did
imagine with me that you are in a bakery
shop in a very snowy and cold day in
Palestine not Pakistan Palestine and I
arrived to be the last one in a queue
which was unsurprisingly consisted only
of men I was standing there and all of a
sudden and old man came and he was
shouting while addressing the men and
telling them don’t you have respect
shame on you
how come you let the girl to be the last
one in the queue let her pass first and
everyone was confused and embarrassed
and looking at me at the same time and I
saw it in their eyes they were somehow
cursing the father who let his daughter
to go out in such a snowy day to maybe
get stuck here in this bakery among men
and at the same time they were
questioning doesn’t she has brother a
cousin a relative even a male neighbor
shame on her on and on her family then I
decided to speak I told him but I want
to respect the queue and I want to wait
for my turn and suddenly all of the eyes
which were looking at me while being
full of embarrassment I started to look
at me while being full of blame and
disgust and then the same old man he
said the end of world is approaching
which is a translation that means that
look at this girl who’s trying to put
herself in the men’s shoes you know I
decided to to learn how to ride a bike
only one year ago I never had one I
never asked to have one
and in fact it’s it’s a boys thing in
Palestine but I bought one to our garden
and after one month I became an expert
and I decided to go outside of the
borders of our garden
I want our town and it was the first
time of my life someone confronts me in
the eye and tell me ok I will say it
they told me bitch
and the thing that made that day even
worse that I hear that call that that’s
that word from other four men I went
home I was really sad I was depressed
but at the second day I decided to try
again it was even worse much worse words
and when I went home I was also sad and
depressed and at the same time they made
me feel that I brought shame to our
family to our family name do you know
what I did in the third day I took my
headphones I walked with my bicycle I
was really confident I just could you
know concentrated on the landscape and
that’s it I went home I was happy I was
content
I was proud of myself after one month of
self-training I was on my bicycle in my
town without any serious injuries and
every day that I was going to our house
telling my father about this stuff he
was telling me about the stereotype the
fact that you know the girls do not do
this thing here because they always told
them that because if if she go out on
the bicycle it’s Tom’s it’s something
not from our culture it is something
that just to show her body – it’s a boy
thing just to imitate boys and he was
supporting me actually I did not explain
it well it was not me the one who by
about the bike it was him who bought it
for me
Palestinian society is complex indeed I
don’t like
to use the word underdeveloped it’s just
complex it’s a cocktail of religions
traditions ethics families and
everything and those you know concepts
are interrelated in them in an implicit
and explicit way let’s take the things
from the beginning I come from a big
family in fact this is not moving yeah I
have seven sisters and this is not
something favorable not in term of
number but in term of gender and this is
makes us you know nine females and not
in one house and for my father
the booth father so in fact also this
number can tell you another thing that
about my father and my mother attempts
to have a male member in the family my
mother told me that whenever she was
going to the doctor to check the gender
of the baby she was having this two
reaction either she was blaming because
it’s your fault it’s a female or she was
they were telling her don’t worry next
time will be the male in shallow you
have to try again and I don’t know if it
is fortunately or unfortunately that it
took them eight attempts without
counting the miscarriages
to be convinced that we will not make
the society to stress us any more and we
will not have that male member anymore
in fact now if you can see this picture
three of them of those girls have Bhd
and the others they have their masters
and actually everyone found her own
birth and in her and her own career
during my last visit to Palestine we had
this family gathering the sisters the
husbands of the sisters the nieces they
refused the mothers in law I don’t know
why and everyone I was looking I was
looking at my father and I saw that tear
in the corner of his eye and I was
curious at the same time I went to him
and I asked him
that what if what if we we’re all boys
maybe as you wished he told me then
Allah maybe no one will be around me I
raised eight strong girls that can stand
for their own rights while being full of
confident but it’s quite inspiring that
I have such a father I have such an
understanding family but it’s not the
case so it’s not the case for the old
families in Palestine in fact a lot of
girls they are banned to go to schools
they are banned to go to university and
sometimes they are banned to go to the
streets alone without her brother and in
fact in the worst cases they are banned
to be alive such as honor killing the
girls sometimes she feels that she’s in
a transition period in her family house
she’s just a gift and she has to be
customized to go to the husband’s house
because of that a lot of girls whenever
she asked a question to her mother mom
can I go out with my friend to the
shopping mall her mother will say to her
of course not
until you get married what if your
future husband found out that you want
alone with your friend no she can go and
ask mum can I go to a trip with my
friend which is a girl of course the
mother will say of course not and then
you get married what if your future has
been found out that you went alone with
your friend and sometimes it can be a
very silly question like mum can I cut
my hair she will say of course not what
if your future husband like the long
hair until you get married
and that’s it the girl is she feels that
she only customized for this prince
charming the anonymous one and she has
to fulfill a certain criteria let me
tell you about this criteria she has to
be thin tall long hair beautiful in
general and she has to have the ability
to have endless number of children she
has to be educated to teach the children
but
not to have any ambition to go to work
and she has to look to cook as his
mother style she has to love his mother
his sister’s his auntie’s his neighbors
anyone he loves she has to obey the
rules all the time and she has always to
be ready to have something she has
always to be ready to have Derr Derr my
friend
it means the second wife so if you want
to have a happily ever after life
without having anyone sharing this life
with you it’s better to stick up to that
criteria and to stay thin all the time
and so you will not have this the room
and the surprising thing that you go to
the other side to the man style and you
see
okay what’s the criteria that is you
know for the man side it’s only
consisted of two things two points first
of all he has to have a birth
certificate an ID that satisfies that
certifies that he is a man and actually
nowadays it’s enough to write that on
Facebook and the other thing that he has
to have you know a little bit of money
so he can do that decent weeding and
that’s it the marriage can happen and
the fact that a lot of girls they accept
that I can understand but when I go to
to my you know to my friends the friends
who were with me in the college and I
find out that a lot of them they accept
to have such kind of marriage I start
the question why why you have your dream
you have a future plan you told me about
that but she will answer that she is
afraid to be labeled as honest before I
tell you the meaning of the honest I
just want you to try to say it honest
it’s just an ugly word ugly word I don’t
like it so honest means the unmarried
girl and most precisely its the
unmarried girl who is above 30 years old
and
a lot of girls they are afraid of being
honest because it’s mainly means two
things either that you are ugly so now
no one accepted you as a wife or you
lack the sufficient ethics and morals so
no one accepted you as a decent wife so
because of that a lot of girls they are
just running away of such a concept they
don’t want such a concept so what they
do they accept to enter the marriage
market they simply accept to be a
watermelon you can find such a kiosks in
Palestine and summer in the streets and
actually the summer is also the wedding
season and anyone can go to the – such a
kiosk and too big a watermelon just
because of the appearance of the water
main on time because it’s promises a
good taste and that’s it and this is how
such a marriage happens they don’t know
each other no matter if she’s happy no
matter if he is also happy it’s just
about not being honest you know I was a
watermelon once I will tell you the
story
a strange man he heard about me he came
to our house and you know with his
family and he wanted to compare what he
heard with the reality and when he came
to our house I was i I went there and of
course it was an arrangement and my
family convinced me and we don’t want to
get embarrassed we told the people to
come and you know society bla bla bla I
went there and they start shaking hands
and when I wanted to shake hands with
him he did like this because he doesn’t
shake hands because he is conservative
and but at the same time I saw him he
was checking every inch of my body do
you know to to check his watermelon if
it’s a good one or not
and then we were speaking then he asked
my father to go to another room so we
can get to know each other’s more and I
saw the look on my father eyes he wanted
to kill him but he said ok we
to the other rooms and he started to do
a presentation about himself about his
work about his education and then he
started about his expectations from me
and I stopped him I told him I’m not the
one you’re looking for I have a future
plans I want to continue my education
and I’m not that kind of person that you
tell me what to wear or what to do I’m
sorry
and then when went out of our house I
told my father that I really felt bad
and he told me you know let’s the
society go to health
we will not care about society anymore
my daughters are not for sale and it was
the last time in our family history that
that happened and in fact I decided that
a to be Allah for Allah Allah not Allah
my name to be Allah for Allah and not a
lot for the others and actually a lot of
Spanish teen young girls they are doing
that right now they are sick of being a
ghost’s they are sick of being behind
the scenes they are sick of being
watermelons they just want to be by year
they just want to fulfill their own
dreams they just want to get rid of the
chains of that or the society that gave
us by heritage you know once
jean-paul Satre said hell is other
people
and I can’t agree with any other
definition about Hell or people you know
I stand here and I challenge a lot of
things
I challenge society I challenge
traditions and most importantly I
challenge whatever that will be said
about me or whatever I will be labeled
when I will go to Palestine at 27 years
old girl which makes me almost honest
who who who was who was living alone
when you’re abroad without any one of
her family member but I don’t care
because I intend to raise awareness
among other girls to go out and to go
out from their comfort zone to just
fulfill their dreams the things that
they wanted to do and I stand here and I
have a very important declaration to do
it’s a decision that I took years ago
but I keep reminding myself off I stand
here before you and I declare that I am
NOT a watermelon and I will not be and I
encourage everyone here males and
females to decide for your own to not
let any stereotype control your life to
just simply challenge the impossible it
all begins with you not with the others
thank you
[Applause]
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