you know so many people have asked me
over the last year how are you managing
in the face of all this adversity and I
trust you can relate to this my
responses never have I been so focused
on my own personal emotional well-being
and I trust you can relate but the truth
is there is one issue in all the
adversity that we face right now that
presents an opportunity for change
life-altering change for generations to
come and that issue is sexual assault
and sexual harassment I’m gonna start my
story right here at Dartmouth on the
Dartmouth campus I’ll take you back for
decades I was 18 years old a brand new
student on campus first year and I was
invited on a cold wintry night bitter
cold I remember it so clearly – a party
with friends this is a common everyday
occurrence and I know if there are
students here you’ve done the exact same
thing we got dressed and ready we were
excited we’re with our friends – a
fraternity I won’t name it but you all
know it it’s still here and we had a
great time that evening we danced we
listened to music we really enjoyed
ourselves at the party until in a brief
second I was assaulted violated in a
crude and insulting way and I ran I ran
out into the night it was snowing it was
cold I didn’t have a jacket and I will
never ever forget that moment in fact I
ran out I didn’t know where to go and
they didn’t have any place to turn and
the part that’s felt so lonely
me in that moment was that he was
encouraged this was somebody I knew
actually this was somebody I liked a lot
and his friends all stood around and
encouraged him and cheered him on and I
was alone but I never told anyone and I
came to believe over time that somehow
this was my fault so life went on I
actually loved Dartmouth and I have
wonderful lifelong friends so it’s not
about Dartmouth it’s about our whole
society luckily for me after graduation
I got my dream job Washington DC I was
going to be a legislative assistant for
a member of Congress I was so excited I
moved into an apartment with friends
from Dartmouth we had a blast it was
really fun and one day my boss invited
me to join him for a big meeting the
issues we were working on were really
meaningful we were talking about
promoting peace in the Middle East and
protecting our environment and I got
very involved in ending apartheid in
South Africa and so one day we had a
special guest who came distinguished
guests of the United States Congress
his name is dr. Christian Barnard he was
literally on the cover of Time magazine
he was the man that did the first ever
in the world heart transplant and I was
super excited I was only 23 years old
and my boss said to me would you come to
this meeting and I said yeah that sounds
really important I’d like to be a part
of that so we went to the meeting and
we’re in a restaurant and this part I’ll
never forget I’m seated at the table my
boss is on my right dr. Barnard is on my
left and we’re having this important
discussion about ending apartheid in
South Africa and suddenly I realize
something is terror
wrong his hand dr. bernard is under my
skirt in a place it ought not to have
been I just couldn’t believe it I was so
shocked I was so surprised I was so
humiliated and ashamed and all of the
feelings came back to me but there was
nothing I could do I didn’t even have
the presence of mind to get up and go to
the ladies room I just sat there with
his hand under my skirt in a place it
should not have been and the meeting
continued and I never told anyone the
truth is I didn’t have any place to turn
I was 23 years old and before I need a
held there was no such thing as sexual
harassment it didn’t exist and so I
didn’t have anybody to tell and again I
felt this intense shame in this
humiliation and again somehow I thought
it was my fault the truth is I didn’t
tell anyone for a long long time and if
this story has some strange sense of
familiarity to you it’s because you’ve
heard this quote and when you’re a star
they let you do it you can do anything
I’m not telling you these stories about
myself because they’re remarkable or
even unique sadly as we’ve all come to
learn I’m telling you these stories
because they’re all too common and the
fact is we have to do something about it
and we have an incredible opportunity
right now each and every one of us to do
something about it
see I didn’t tell anyone for 40 years I
didn’t tell my parents at the time I
didn’t tell my friends or my roommate I
didn’t tell my
we got married or for the next 30 years
I didn’t tell my two sons who went to
Dartmouth every once in a while I’d say
please be nice to people make sure that
you’re not the one that’s causing anyone
harm and they’d say mom wasn’t me I’m a
good guy and the fact is I’m sure most
of you here are and you’re all women who
have had or know someone who’s had this
experience so finally I did speak up you
can’t go back and change the beginning
but you can start where you are and
change the ending
finally a year ago I told my story I
happen to tell it on the floor of the
United States House of Representatives I
didn’t speak the picked the most private
place but in the end I spoke up and I’m
proud that I did so now I was inspired
by some incredible young women
Emily doe you know her as the woman who
was sexually assaulted on the campus at
Stanford University left for dead her
life was saved by two young men from
Sweden who came along on a bicycle and
chessy proud fifteen-year-old girl
sexually assaulted at st. Paul’s School
in a ritual that’s known as senior
salute I’m happy to tell you that jessie
has become an extraordinary advocate for
survivors and there are so many
survivors out there now who are speaking
up and telling their story and it’s
really important that we can be a part
of that it’s really important to say no
more we have to move on and we can and
we will we can do much much better we
can teach people about consent and what
that means and about better
communication so I mixed
to tell you that we have started a
bipartisan task force in Congress with
the lofty goal to end sexual violence
and that’s what we’re going to do with
all of your help so I’m working with my
colleague representative Jackie Speier
who’s a Democrat from California and my
Republican colleagues Pat Meehan from
Pennsylvania and Dave Joyce from Ohio
and we now have 40 members and we’re
working together and we’re going to be
able to begin to build those bridges
that these survivors deserve and we’re
going to support survivors in their
journey and we’re going to educate
members of Congress and the public about
how we can come together to end sexual
violence in our society the truth is we
can make a difference and we will we’ll
start with education and prevention
we’ll teach children and teens and
adults about consent and about better
communication and we’ll educate law
enforcement and judges and juries so
they understand these concepts of fight
flight or freeze and they understand the
influence of age and alcohol and
intimidation on the capacity to consent
and we’ll make sure that everyone gets a
fair process and that survivors get
trauma-informed treatment so that they
can go on to strong resilient lives the
truth is that survivors are coming
forward all across this country just in
the last few weeks the hashtag me to
campaign has been extraordinary it’s
taken off it feels exponential to me the
fact that so many women of all ages have
been a part of this and I’ve come to
believe that my generation from being
silent for forty years has become
complicit in creating this toxic culture
of sexual assault and sexual harassment
and so I intend to speak up and take a
stand and I intend to support all of
those women that are coming forward in
the media campaign and the fact is you
can be a part of that too because they
can’t do this by themselves nor should
they you can make a difference you can
open up your heart you can speak up and
speak out you can stand up you can take
a stand your voice matters in this men
and women young and old all of us have a
role to play because it’s in the
workplace it’s in the campus it’s in our
families it’s with our friends I mean
think about this the conversations that
you have and they’re difficult I’ll be
the first to say these are difficult
conversations but we have an opportunity
right now to talk to one another and to
share our ideas about this your voice
matters that person who you’re talking
to is someone’s father or son friend or
husband but think about this the
perpetrator is someone’s husband the
harasser is someone’s father so you can
make a difference and we all have to
stand up and stand out we have to
believe survivors that’s the first step
the three most important words that any
survivor can hear I believe you that’s
all you have to know and you can be
there for someone you can be there for a
friend
I had a friend yesterday tell me who I
have known for 50 years and she stood in
my kitchen and told
about being raped in the back of a car
when she was 17 years old she’d never
told anyone and you know what she said
to me in my kitchen yesterday she said I
never should have gotten into that car
with him to go buy beer and I said to
her he never should have raped you in
the back of that car I mean we’ve got
this all turned around and we can do so
much better write a letter call Congress
better yet run for office your voice
matters you can make a difference
and it’s really important just listen be
there believe and then take the next
step and have those difficult
conversations here’s the thing I
remember ashtrays in restaurants I
remember smoking on airplanes
I remember car accidents and fatalities
before we even had seatbelts and I can
remember the death toll and the fear
from aids/hiv but guess what times do
change we can create change ordinary
people living ordinary lives can make
extraordinary change so please join us
join this movement stand up speak out
your voice matters because we can make a
difference and we will we can do it we
can end sexual violence yes we can thank you
over the last year how are you managing
in the face of all this adversity and I
trust you can relate to this my
responses never have I been so focused
on my own personal emotional well-being
and I trust you can relate but the truth
is there is one issue in all the
adversity that we face right now that
presents an opportunity for change
life-altering change for generations to
come and that issue is sexual assault
and sexual harassment I’m gonna start my
story right here at Dartmouth on the
Dartmouth campus I’ll take you back for
decades I was 18 years old a brand new
student on campus first year and I was
invited on a cold wintry night bitter
cold I remember it so clearly – a party
with friends this is a common everyday
occurrence and I know if there are
students here you’ve done the exact same
thing we got dressed and ready we were
excited we’re with our friends – a
fraternity I won’t name it but you all
know it it’s still here and we had a
great time that evening we danced we
listened to music we really enjoyed
ourselves at the party until in a brief
second I was assaulted violated in a
crude and insulting way and I ran I ran
out into the night it was snowing it was
cold I didn’t have a jacket and I will
never ever forget that moment in fact I
ran out I didn’t know where to go and
they didn’t have any place to turn and
the part that’s felt so lonely
me in that moment was that he was
encouraged this was somebody I knew
actually this was somebody I liked a lot
and his friends all stood around and
encouraged him and cheered him on and I
was alone but I never told anyone and I
came to believe over time that somehow
this was my fault so life went on I
actually loved Dartmouth and I have
wonderful lifelong friends so it’s not
about Dartmouth it’s about our whole
society luckily for me after graduation
I got my dream job Washington DC I was
going to be a legislative assistant for
a member of Congress I was so excited I
moved into an apartment with friends
from Dartmouth we had a blast it was
really fun and one day my boss invited
me to join him for a big meeting the
issues we were working on were really
meaningful we were talking about
promoting peace in the Middle East and
protecting our environment and I got
very involved in ending apartheid in
South Africa and so one day we had a
special guest who came distinguished
guests of the United States Congress
his name is dr. Christian Barnard he was
literally on the cover of Time magazine
he was the man that did the first ever
in the world heart transplant and I was
super excited I was only 23 years old
and my boss said to me would you come to
this meeting and I said yeah that sounds
really important I’d like to be a part
of that so we went to the meeting and
we’re in a restaurant and this part I’ll
never forget I’m seated at the table my
boss is on my right dr. Barnard is on my
left and we’re having this important
discussion about ending apartheid in
South Africa and suddenly I realize
something is terror
wrong his hand dr. bernard is under my
skirt in a place it ought not to have
been I just couldn’t believe it I was so
shocked I was so surprised I was so
humiliated and ashamed and all of the
feelings came back to me but there was
nothing I could do I didn’t even have
the presence of mind to get up and go to
the ladies room I just sat there with
his hand under my skirt in a place it
should not have been and the meeting
continued and I never told anyone the
truth is I didn’t have any place to turn
I was 23 years old and before I need a
held there was no such thing as sexual
harassment it didn’t exist and so I
didn’t have anybody to tell and again I
felt this intense shame in this
humiliation and again somehow I thought
it was my fault the truth is I didn’t
tell anyone for a long long time and if
this story has some strange sense of
familiarity to you it’s because you’ve
heard this quote and when you’re a star
they let you do it you can do anything
I’m not telling you these stories about
myself because they’re remarkable or
even unique sadly as we’ve all come to
learn I’m telling you these stories
because they’re all too common and the
fact is we have to do something about it
and we have an incredible opportunity
right now each and every one of us to do
something about it
see I didn’t tell anyone for 40 years I
didn’t tell my parents at the time I
didn’t tell my friends or my roommate I
didn’t tell my
we got married or for the next 30 years
I didn’t tell my two sons who went to
Dartmouth every once in a while I’d say
please be nice to people make sure that
you’re not the one that’s causing anyone
harm and they’d say mom wasn’t me I’m a
good guy and the fact is I’m sure most
of you here are and you’re all women who
have had or know someone who’s had this
experience so finally I did speak up you
can’t go back and change the beginning
but you can start where you are and
change the ending
finally a year ago I told my story I
happen to tell it on the floor of the
United States House of Representatives I
didn’t speak the picked the most private
place but in the end I spoke up and I’m
proud that I did so now I was inspired
by some incredible young women
Emily doe you know her as the woman who
was sexually assaulted on the campus at
Stanford University left for dead her
life was saved by two young men from
Sweden who came along on a bicycle and
chessy proud fifteen-year-old girl
sexually assaulted at st. Paul’s School
in a ritual that’s known as senior
salute I’m happy to tell you that jessie
has become an extraordinary advocate for
survivors and there are so many
survivors out there now who are speaking
up and telling their story and it’s
really important that we can be a part
of that it’s really important to say no
more we have to move on and we can and
we will we can do much much better we
can teach people about consent and what
that means and about better
communication so I mixed
to tell you that we have started a
bipartisan task force in Congress with
the lofty goal to end sexual violence
and that’s what we’re going to do with
all of your help so I’m working with my
colleague representative Jackie Speier
who’s a Democrat from California and my
Republican colleagues Pat Meehan from
Pennsylvania and Dave Joyce from Ohio
and we now have 40 members and we’re
working together and we’re going to be
able to begin to build those bridges
that these survivors deserve and we’re
going to support survivors in their
journey and we’re going to educate
members of Congress and the public about
how we can come together to end sexual
violence in our society the truth is we
can make a difference and we will we’ll
start with education and prevention
we’ll teach children and teens and
adults about consent and about better
communication and we’ll educate law
enforcement and judges and juries so
they understand these concepts of fight
flight or freeze and they understand the
influence of age and alcohol and
intimidation on the capacity to consent
and we’ll make sure that everyone gets a
fair process and that survivors get
trauma-informed treatment so that they
can go on to strong resilient lives the
truth is that survivors are coming
forward all across this country just in
the last few weeks the hashtag me to
campaign has been extraordinary it’s
taken off it feels exponential to me the
fact that so many women of all ages have
been a part of this and I’ve come to
believe that my generation from being
silent for forty years has become
complicit in creating this toxic culture
of sexual assault and sexual harassment
and so I intend to speak up and take a
stand and I intend to support all of
those women that are coming forward in
the media campaign and the fact is you
can be a part of that too because they
can’t do this by themselves nor should
they you can make a difference you can
open up your heart you can speak up and
speak out you can stand up you can take
a stand your voice matters in this men
and women young and old all of us have a
role to play because it’s in the
workplace it’s in the campus it’s in our
families it’s with our friends I mean
think about this the conversations that
you have and they’re difficult I’ll be
the first to say these are difficult
conversations but we have an opportunity
right now to talk to one another and to
share our ideas about this your voice
matters that person who you’re talking
to is someone’s father or son friend or
husband but think about this the
perpetrator is someone’s husband the
harasser is someone’s father so you can
make a difference and we all have to
stand up and stand out we have to
believe survivors that’s the first step
the three most important words that any
survivor can hear I believe you that’s
all you have to know and you can be
there for someone you can be there for a
friend
I had a friend yesterday tell me who I
have known for 50 years and she stood in
my kitchen and told
about being raped in the back of a car
when she was 17 years old she’d never
told anyone and you know what she said
to me in my kitchen yesterday she said I
never should have gotten into that car
with him to go buy beer and I said to
her he never should have raped you in
the back of that car I mean we’ve got
this all turned around and we can do so
much better write a letter call Congress
better yet run for office your voice
matters you can make a difference
and it’s really important just listen be
there believe and then take the next
step and have those difficult
conversations here’s the thing I
remember ashtrays in restaurants I
remember smoking on airplanes
I remember car accidents and fatalities
before we even had seatbelts and I can
remember the death toll and the fear
from aids/hiv but guess what times do
change we can create change ordinary
people living ordinary lives can make
extraordinary change so please join us
join this movement stand up speak out
your voice matters because we can make a
difference and we will we can do it we
can end sexual violence yes we can thank you
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