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Why comfort will ruin your life | Bill Eckstrom | TEDxUniversityofNevada


Translator: Mohamed Abdelmoneim Checker: Eatedal Saii
I have been in a period of continuous success.
I was employed with a good salary
Annual incentives and stock market advantages,
All privileges.
Everything was fine.
And on Monday, January 7, 2008
At 3:00 pm,
In a small meeting room on the last floor of the building.
The company president asked me in a quick meeting,
I have been used to it since I became a principal.
But the meeting was brief, faster than I expected.
He expelled me from the company.
And I will not forget his words that came out as if pulling my breath with her,
She left the meeting room in a daze,
I went back to my house and Tcourt Calginine on my mattress for three hours.
I can talk in detail about what I felt about it,
And what he did so my confidence in myself, my material income and so on,
What I have realized now is,
While that event produced the greatest sense of discomfort I felt in my life
It was that sense of discomfort,
And get out of my stable lifestyle,
It is what changed my life for the better.
You know my friends,
What makes you feel comfortable is what will destroy you,
What makes you feel difficult is your only way to evolve.
Let me say it again:
What pleases you is what will destroy you,
Just being in a state of hardship can grow on your own.
Now, I assume that on that eighth day of January, if someone came and said to me:
“My friend, my expulsion from work is a good thing, because now you will grow yourself”
He would probably have slapped him.
But soon I was excited to start a new journey,
And after a few years of working with my new team
With my PhD fellowship at the University of Nebraska,
We realized that
To clarify and apply the science of feeling uncomfortable, and its relationship to growth.
We called that principle “growth rings.”
Growth rings represent living environments
Which either encourage or hinder growth.
This can be applied to everything from the workplace,
Even the aquarium.
You know what determines the size of the thickness of golden ornaments?
It’s the environment.
And while that golden fish grows in a very safe environment,
This environment is also the reason for restricting it in everything.
When in a more difficult environment,
Say, for example, a pool of water;
Then it can also be eaten.
You know, friends, this is you –
Environments that work, live or play,
It can be compared to the aquarium that determines your growth.
It is now the first growth cycle that has the least performing and least developed environment,
The loop is called stagnation.
Recession is a walk according to many steps,
Permits and less important details.
Which hinders creativity, independent thinking and movement.
Imagine such an environment,
It is enough to refer to our country, and federal governments.
Now the contrast to the recession is chaos,
It is also the least performing and least developed.
Chaos can occur by factors and events, either internal or external.
We can see chaos in the case of corporate mergers,
Natural disasters and horrific events such as 9/11.
Chaos is an inability to fully anticipate or control
On data or results.
Back again to growth rings,
The next stage of recession is the most demanding environment of stability.
Stability is to learn that what you do, what happens in your environment,
Leads to expected results.
In anticipation there is always rest.
But comfort is what makes stability very dangerous.
Because science has proven that as long as it continues to do something,
Or even think of something the same way,
Will eventually stop growing.
This applies to every living thing –
Even the bitch we own.
You see, if any Aspen opportunity,
She would have chosen the rest six days a week, and two days of the remaining Sundays.
(Laughter)
But the extreme growth is the result of that rest
Perhaps preventing her from being a treatment dog,
With this happening,
Think about the lives that were not affected by this beautiful spirit today.
Therefore, before stability continues to restrict your thoughts and actions,
Remember then I said earlier:
Growth occurs only in a state of hardship.
And now to think how strong that expression:
You are only in a state of hardship that can grow on your own.
I can say unequivocally that I did not stand on this platform today
Without that annoying day 9 years ago
By the way, I do not advise you to be expelled from work to see if this will lead you to talk at TED.
(Laughter)
But, when you feel an uncomfortable shock,
It means that you entered the loop of complexity.
Complexity is only a change of order,
When the system changes, the results become unpredictable,
The inability to anticipate is what causes you discomfort.
And most of the time
Your involuntary reaction to discomfort, not only rejection, but extreme rejection,
Learn how effective it is
Consciously aware of the stage of hardship,
So we try as much as possible to choose complexity instead of the stability loop.
I know that the pursuit of hardship seems strange, and a few people is who does it,
But you must accept them
Because it is the only environment
Where large and sustained growth occurs.
OK.
In order to engage the complexity cycle with the greatest growth in the fabric of your life,
There are three basic ways to stimulate this.
The first incentive for the complexity ring is: to be you who pay yourself for it.
When I was fired from work, I did not have the option to remain in the stability circle,
Forced on the cycle of complexity, and when that happens,
The amount of your product depends on how well you respond to it.
I could have stayed angry, and used it as an excuse,
But what I’ve already learned is that I’m not as good as an employee,
I am much better at risk of managing my own company.
The second motivation for the complexity loop is to help you enter it.
This is the role of parents, teachers, trainers and managers.
Because if we leave them,
People always choose consciously or unconsciously the comfort of stability.
Then, we must push them into the cycle of complexity
In order to continue to grow.
My youngest daughter spent most of her high school years
She practices tennis,
Her coach was familiar with our work
Regarding complexity and growth rings.
I called him one day to assure my daughter Madi,
And I put my question with him this way:
“Hi Lee, since when was the last time
In which Maddy pushed hard into the loop of complexity?
Reply to me:
“It’s funny your question, Bill, it happened yesterday.
She collapsed in tears at the tennis court. “
“Hey”
Well, as far as I know my daughter strongly, so much so she does not cry!
Tell me she went away in a complicated loop. “
But, you know, my friends, this is the area of ​​development decision-making
Because Bill’s old, pre-bell growth,
He would intervene to know what makes her feel uncomfortable.
Then, I would do everything I could to make her happy again.
What I would have done already
Is to get it out of its complex ring and place it in the loop of stability. “
In fact, I was stifling her development.
But Bill’s new post-growth episode, enjoyed his daughter’s discomfort.
(Laughter)
These were the words of the next coach who told me everything I wanted to hear.
He said: “Bill, I have to tell you that it took more time
To push it to the limits of the complexity this month,
More than last month. “
The discomfort was the cause of their growth.
Well what if you were not lucky enough
To live or work in a difficult environment that encourages growth?
What if the stability loop or the worst recession loop?
Well, the good news is,
Each person can insert himself into a loop of complexity at any time.
And now the third incentive for the complexity ring is: stimulate yourself.
Let’s go together on a trip to Montgomery, Alabama
In the 1950s.
Imagine a little girl, black-skinned,
In a high school;
And ride the bus to go there and go home,
Something that was normal at that time.
On 2 March 1995, the bus returned from school to the house,
She was sitting near the back,
With seats that allow seating for people with black skin.
While the bus is full of white people,
In the end, there was no place ahead.
According to local law
She had to go back to the back rows to make room for white people to sit
As you can see, Montgomery had a seating system
When we follow it, the results are easy to predict:
Suppression of people with some conflicts.
But Claudette Colvin is 15 years old
She spent her last month in high school studying black history,
For understandable reasons, she was tired of these historic and current atrocities
On this day she decided she did not want the Montgomery system,
By refusing to give up her seat,
Our society, our laws, and the entire country have been put into a complicated cycle.
Yes, nine months before the famous Rosa Parks decision to remain in place,
She was a 15-year-old girl
She was handcuffed, dragged from the bus and put in jail.
It was Colvin and not Rosa Parks who was the first to face the law,
By the way,
She was also the plaintiff to testify in that famous case
Which was completed in the United States Supreme Court.
So,
I mentioned Claudette’s actions not to raise awareness of racism,
Although not bad,
But I used it as an example for every issue,
For each position in stable environments.
It is a good and effective example of the complexity that drives people,
Our societies and tribunals to hardship,
The end result can occur
At any time when someone chooses to move from the stability loop.
In a recent book, Dr. Serene Jones summarized this principle very eloquently.
“The false face of stability
Hides the difficulties you want to come out to learn
Life is not created to be as we think.
It is very necessary to face difficulties
Let us learn what is unknown. “
Therefore my friends,
It’s not about the discomfort of losing a job,
And not about the breakdown of my child’s nerves in the tennis court,
But about the cycle of stability that we must fear the most because it is a danger.
And rebel people for their stability
The likes of Jesus, Galileo, Claudette Colvin, and Aspen’s coach,
Some of you may have already proved that –
Think about it now –
Not the people or events that get you in the loop
Is the most you should fear
But you have to accept it and strive for that hardship
Which will determine not only your product,
But the growth of the whole world.
Thank you very much for allowing me to be part of this.
(clap)
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