loving Arabic voice yeah Dima tally
which means Dima come here I am five
years old playing in her home I put my
dog down and run to the kitchen anxious
to find out what my grandmother wants to
tell me as I get there she motions to me
to get closer to her and as I do i watch
her as she leans towards the kitchen
table she picks one of her magazines
carefully rolls it and then slowly ties
it with a red ribbon she looks at me and
she said today we’re going to play a new
game we’re going to celebrate the day
you graduate from college I made you a
graduation diploma just run to me when I
call your name I watched her as she took
few steps backwards she stood straight
raised her head was holding the diploma
as if it was the most valuable thing
that she could give me and I heard her
announced an aloud voice to a large
audience thousands of people in our
imagination and say helped me to
congratulate the next graduate Dima
joeys and then she motioned to me to get
closer to her and as I did she firmly
shook my hand I could see tears in her
eyes and then I heard her say in Arabic
mabrook enough ahora fiki as she was
handing me that diploma I stood there I
didn’t understand what all of that meant
what is a diploma what do I do with a
graduation
why is my grandmother so happy but
really all that matter it was that I was
having fun with my favorite person in
the world
years later I returned the secret behind
this graduation game
my grandmother was not permitted to go
to school as a little girl in the Middle
East she was expected to stay home and
help her mom with housework to cook and
clean all day but her five brothers went
to school every day they woke up put on
their school uniform and then after they
came back from school they would be
sitting and actually she’s the one
sitting next to them listening to every
single word that they said as if her
ears were like magnets wanted to catch
every single piece of information she
taught herself the sound and the shape
of alphabet it was very important for
her to read magazines and follow her
favorite movie stars reading represented
independence to her and one of those
magazines magically transformed in her
kitchen to a dream of a formal education
beautifully tied in a red ribbon it was
the symbol of empowerment that
challenged to the norm and a desire of a
better future starting with me my
grandmother was very aware of the
cultural limitations that I was going to
face she understood the expectations
that the community has of me and she was
always concerned that just like these
limitations stopped her that they would
try to stop and discourage me as well
that’s why it was so important for her
to plant the seed and the belief that I
can graduate early on that’s why she
kept playing this game with me over and
over and over and over again the
graduation game became our favorite
activity I even memorized the
announcement word by word it was so much
fun my grandmother passed away when I
was nine years old but the belief that
she gave me never
left never went away the path was
definitely not easy and it required many
sacrifices years later right before I
finished the touji he which is our
Jordanian high school my oldest uncle
called and he said he wanted to talk to
me about my future I immediately felt so
anxious he never talked directly to me
before he’s a very wealthy man
successful respected in our community
and family he has an international
business travels to Europe Asia and to
the US but I also felt just because he
was interested to help me that gave me
so much gratitude that he is interested
in my future I was wondering the entire
time what is his vision of success for
me until we sat and we talked I remember
as we were sitting my uncle was smoking
a cigar and he said I heard that you’re
interested in graduating from a
four-year college but I also know that
there is a big demand in the market for
executive assistants I recommend for you
to enroll in a secretarial school take
few speed typing courses and then focus
on becoming an assistant at that moment
I felt so deflated
I felt very disconnected from my uncle I
was in a crossroad between his advice
that would push me to a whole different
direction compared to where my heart
wanted to go and to my end to the belief
that my grandmother gave me that I can
graduate I could remember her voice as
she was announcing my name so loud to
the invisible audience
I remember how how much fun it was and
the excitement that I felt after I
received my diploma so I decided not to
listen to him instead
I decided to apply to the College of
Business at the University of Jordan as
I was completing my application I was
reading the answers over and over over
again maybe like over ten times I just I
just it was just so hard for me to let
it go so I held it and I prayed and I
remember as I dropped it in the mail I
could feel my grandmother’s spirit
surrounding me I could remember her
diploma her beautiful diploma that she
gave me but just the fact that I applied
led to even more things related to the
story so over a month later I was
checking the mail and I saw that I got a
letter from the University of Jordan
it’s the logo on it and addressed to me
I was so excited because I’ve been
checking the mail every single day even
the day after I put the mail in the mail
my application in the mail so I got I
opened it very fast and I was looking
for it just one phrase I just wanted to
see one phrase and I wanted to read
pleased to inform you and as I opened it
the phrase was there I was accepted to
the University even with that I still
needed to hold on to my belief that I
can graduate the first semester one day
I was less than 10 minutes late to my 4
p.m. curfew and my father was so mad he
said you’re not allowed to complete your
education stay home and I’ll find you a
husband my father was not comfortable
with the fact that I was attending a
co-ed University just the image that I’m
surrounded by young men disturbed him he
is educated he’s a medical doctor but he
never understood the significance of
education to me at that moment I felt as
if he was pulling
my diploma away from me but I still
could also feel how it beautifully felt
when my grandmother used to place it in
my hand so I started begging and begging
and begging day and night continued to
beg and he agreed finally but the
threats never ended and most of the time
for no logical reason less than a year
later through a traditional family
introduction I got engaged at the age of
19 to a 30 year old relative and my
father was thrilled my one condition –
that marriage was that I would be
allowed to complete my education the
plan was that one week after our wedding
we would both move together to San Diego
California to follow his career
aspirations that meant that my education
had to get interrupted I needed to focus
on understanding the American culture
improving my English and learning to
drive on these huge California freeways
it was difficult it was actually more
than difficult but every single time I
felt how hard it was every time I felt
that I was going the wrong direction I
remembered my grandmother
I remembered the tears of joy in her
eyes
I remembered her voice and that gave me
the determination to keep moving forward
I took English classes and I decided to
apply to San Diego State University I
remember after I got I applied just a
few months later I got a letter in the
mail from SDSU’s logo on it with my
address to me I was so excited I went I
opened that very very fast I was looking
for my favorite phrase pleased to inform
you but it wasn’t there I was rejected
again I felt so horrible but I couldn’t
give up there’s no way for me to give up
the belief that I had was so strong at
that moment I remembered how it felt
when I was running to my grandmother how
fun it was when I was accepting my
diploma and that gave me the
determination that I am going to take
more English classes and I’m going to
apply one more time and I did when I got
the letter in the mail and I opened that
it did have the phrase pleased to inform
you I was accepted as you know getting
into the university that comes with its
own challenges and mine was English I
was very slow in reading and writing I
would be in an exam room and now as I am
still a half done with my exam my
classmates would be already done and
they would pass their paper to the
professor and leave but every graded
paper that I got back it felt like a
mini baby diploma that was getting me
one step closer to my graduation and
after hundreds and hundreds of these
many diplomas
it was my graduation day I was standing
in line I was next to receive my diploma
my heart was beating I was so excited
and as I heard the announcers say the
next graduate D Magali I could hear my
grandmother as she was announcing my
name and as I took the first step to
walk towards the dean to accept my
diploma I remember how I was I was
running in her kitchen and as I shook
the hands of the Dean and I heard him
say congratulations
I could hear my grandmother telling me
in Arabic and congratulating me mabrook
and a few Rafiki which means
congratulations I am so proud of hee
my belief became my reality I graduated
and I graduated again with a master’s
degree the game the fun game that my
grandmother created in her kitchen
resulted in me becoming the first
educated woman in our family now many
years later I get ultimate joy every
time I graduate regardless if it’s my
graduation ceremony or I’m attending to
cheer for friends or family even
kindergarten graduations excitement I
feel like a 5 year old girl all over
again playing a life-changing game in my
grandmother’s kitchen I learned that as
a dream becomes a belief it becomes
unstoppable it’s one thing to tell
others to dream but it’s a whole
different thing to help them believe
that they can achieve that dream and a
powerful way to do that is to help them
by making it tangible by helping them to
see it feel it experience it over and
over and over again then it becomes so
powerful that would allow them to take
actions difficult actions and it would
become their reality our beliefs become
our reality so to inspire you as you are
shaping your tomorrow I have a gift for
you
from my grandmother your own diploma to
remind you that to transform your dream
into a belief you need to make it
tangible then it would become your
reality my grandmother would be so proud
to learn that every single woman in our
family that came after me graduated from
college and many with a master’s degree
it’s not even a question in our family
right
now if women should get an education it
is our new norm it is the healthy norm
it is my grandmother’s dream come true
my grandmother would also be proud of
one more thing she loved to read
read her magazines cover to cover she
would never have imagined to one day
open one of those magazines and see an
article about me about that work that
I’m doing to empower others just like
she empowered me but the best part she
wouldn’t just see my picture she would
see her picture to grandma and our hula [Music]