profound things about acceptance
what acceptance is what acceptance is it
and the power of acceptance in our
modern life let me share my personal
story with you
so two years ago at the age of 23 I
started my dream career as a business
analyst in a consulting firm now that
was an internationally known and
prestigious firm that was my dream
career because it was all I literally
wondered at a time
prestige fast hurry and paycheck and
challenge so to make sure I secure the
job I took all possible steps to realize
my dreams I read dozens of
business-related books and what hundreds
of related YouTube videos and tutorials
I also never extensively and prepare for
my case interview to realize my dreams
so when I finally secured the jobs I was
really proud of myself
I was just on top of the world you know
needless to say my friends and family
were proud of me too soon I started
joining my consulting team meeting my
client companies and started solving
interesting business challenges on top
of that my colleagues were exceptional
the job benefits were great and the
career prospect was promising now for a
young ambitious person like me that was
the pinnacle of success I just felt like
a Superman little did not know that
something unexpected would happen not
long after that along the way I was
eager to improve myself but I couldn’t
perform my career at all I was mentally
incapacitated if someone felt like
forcing myself to walk where my leg
muscles are cramping soon he became hard
for me to do almost and it
including greeting my own colleagues how
terrible
I left my so-called dream career in less
than a year the question is what
happened what can we learn from this
maybe I can handle the stress I kept
talking to myself but I knew that that
was not the valid reason
because I have been managing stress
reasonably well I was also well-read
that the working environment can get
pretty stressful and grueling at times I
was already mentally prepared for that I
also knew that I am NOT a lazy bum since
young I had been a self-directed
hardworking and disciplined person in
other words my inability to perform had
nothing to do with laziness and the lack
of discipline
there must be an underlying force at
play here I told myself that’s literally
what I told myself so as one most
self-reflective people would do I
started spending time to look into my
inner self after close self observation
I realized that all this happened
because I was lacking one key quality
acceptance and it’s not the acceptance
that most people think see I was
unwilling to accept that in order to
become a decent business analyst or
consultant especially in the consulting
firm I join I must go through steep
learning curve this may sound
ridiculously obvious to you but the
truth is during that time even though I
intellectually understood that I must go
through what I call the amateurish face
for the first few months if not years my
subconscious was resisting it rather
strongly soon all my inner resistance
surveys and showed up in my career I
couldn’t accept the fact that I was so
off the mark compared to the seniors in
my team they were sharp they were
efficient they were confident on the
other hand I was a complete newbie who
did not know what to do
of the time I made mistakes I produce
mediocre results even though I have done
my best to make things worse
I was harshly comparing myself with the
experienced associates consultants and
project leaders even though I should
have openly accepted the a matrix phase
and focus on learning instead during
those months my life was engulfed with
self-inflicted stress dramas and stories
although self-limiting and
self-defeating thoughts consumed me
really from the inside the good thing is
I’ve learned a lot from this experience
this experience was essentially my
valuable silent mentor what I learned
from the experience is that even though
competence is important in our lives
there’s perhaps a quality that many
people tend to miss acceptance
personally I think that acceptance is
one of the most important yet often
overlooks mental attitude in our lives
now looking back I did not treat
acceptance seriously because I used to
perceive it as a sign of weakness
especially in this modern world which is
perceptibly shaped by assertive and
visionary leaders i falsely related the
word acceptance with in action or in
other words passively allowing anything
and everything to affect our life
however the longer I contemplated the
more I realized they my understanding
towards acceptance could be inaccurate
also missing something today I’m looking
acceptance is not in action they are two
very different things
acceptance is not weakness
it is Schrank acceptance is not about
giving up our life it is about M
raising our life this is profound
by removing what acceptance season we
get with very essence acceptance is the
humble acknowledgement of things that
have happened without mental denial or
resistance and with the accurate
perception of life which is required in
the first place for all kinds of
positive change to happen in the future
in other words if you do not mentally
deny or resist something then you have
probably accepted it otherwise we have
not let us look at a few real-life
heroes and heroines who practice
acceptance in their life min n n is a
single mother and she earns a living by
being a hairdresser
so for information she has been trimming
my hair since I was a little boy well
about 15 years ago she was divorced and
during that time her son was just a
toddler besides having to raise a son
and earn for living and also had to
combat her nose cancer briefly those
days were definitely challenging and I
would say so crushing first photo today
and remains a happy single mother and
the only difference is that her son has
grown up as you can see in this picture
and they are both living a happy
contented life the point I’m trying to
make here is that essentially man
accepting her reality and coexist vivid
and actually regains a healthy amount of
control over alive
imagine if am denying everything that’s
happening to her life and decided just
to give up I wouldn’t serve it if that’s
the head if that is her attitude then
her life could get potentially much
worse right this is Eric he is a
successful entrepreneur his own
international watch company has been
successful for decades based on our
recent conservation
he mentioned that he remains successful
exactly because he accepts reality
wishes for him the ever-changing market
landscape and consumer preference and
then worked with it this is my beloved
grandfather well about six months ago he
was hit by shrew but the good thing is
he has been recovering really well he
was only reading to adjust his lifestyle
and retrain his leg muscles once he
accepted that stroke hit him in the
first place if he denied about his life
condition and takes no action about it
recalling from shock would be almost
impossible so as you can see acceptance
is practiced by people from all kinds of
backgrounds acceptance is not only for
the monks the fundamental difference
between inaction and acceptance is this
inaction is about not doing what’s
necessary Wow acceptance is the crucial
and a blur of doing what’s necessary
Deepak Chopra once explained that we
might want things to be different in the
future but at the present moment right
now right this second we must accept
things as they are so that we have the
power to change them in future and
basically that’s how we make our life
flow smoothly
instead of roughly now up to this point
some of you may realize that you do
resist a couple of things in your life
mentally maybe you resist the fact that
you are gaining weight or maybe you are
aging you are becoming old and some of
you may deny the fact that true growth
can be painful at times and the process
of mastering a skill or craft takes time
well that’s perfectly normal
as humans we instinctively seek for
security and this explains why our brain
is good at creating stories sometimes
good
that’s not good inside our brain why for
the security and from this point of view
you may think that yeah that’s kind of
natural to create for stories right and
that is the root cause of why people
tend to resist something rather than to
accept it and most people actually
resist something either subconsciously
or unknowingly because true acceptance
is much harder than resistance like
really think about it this is profound
it takes a lot of courage to accept
something as it is rather than creating
false stories about it and just takes no
action the good thing is acceptance is a
learnable mental attitude in three clear
steps and I’m going to show you how the
first step is to spend time with
yourself in this hyper-connected row the
last thing we would do is spending time
alone we have far too many alluring
distractions we have Facebook via
Instagram we have friends we have TV via
Verity well even though we are social
creatures spending time alone is crucial
because there’s a time when we can look
into ourselves without the interference
of others in other words we can become
our own observer without noise by the
way if you are alone in the room and you
screw your Facebook or reply email that
doesn’t count as being alone so when
you’re alone do not resist the fact that
you have no one around you just embrace
just accept the solitude have a bed have
a date with yourself instead right then
ask yourself the following questions
what am i resisting have the things
happened
if yes why am i doing so is my
resistance bringing any benefits to me
all people around me like my friends my
family am i aware that my resistance
doesn’t solve any problems at all also
sup these questions truthfully and your
inner voice will guide you naturally now
up to this point some of you may say but
I’m busy this is taking too much time
and my response for that would be if
that’s your case then you have to spend
even more time alone see many people
actually sweep their resistance towards
something under the rock by engaging in
endless activities so that they don’t
have to face their inner self all of us
actually know it and bridges solitude is
likely toxifying
your body in the beginning it may feel
horrible but after some time you’ll be
able to feel light and clean and look at
yourself in a brand new light
so my friends do spend time alone at
least occasionally and with a clear
purpose the second step is to identify
the subject of your resistance let me
give you some quick examples maybe you
are covering your dissatisfaction with
your job
by excessive drinking or maybe you are
running away from a relationship issues
by binge watching television or just
binge watching YouTube’s or maybe just
maybe you are creating false stories
about your health inside your brain even
though you have been diagnosed with lung
cancer and your situation actually
worsens day by day before you really
take any actions to improve your life
your career your relationship or your
half make it a point to really accept
things as they are in the moment so you
can really unlock the power to change
them Williams James an American
philosopher and psychologist once that
accept
is the first step to overcome the
consequences of any misfortune and I
think this is very true
the last step step three is especially
crucial after we experience an event and
we accept it we really have two options
we can either change our circumstances
proactively we change it or we’ll leave
it peacefully perfectly peacefully can
you do that make it your commitment
let’s go through a few examples once I
accept the bad weather which is beyond
my control
then I can change my outdoor plan to an
indoor plant or be perfectly peaceful
that our plan has been canceled once we
accept that we can’t force everyone to
like us then we can start behaving
authentically and truthfully once we
truly accept that anything will vow
requires effort then we will put in the
required work once I accept that the
amateurish phase is required for rapid
growth and no longer resisted today as
an educator and lifelong learner I
constantly immerse myself in different
necessary and oftentimes challenging
situations so I can really grow and that
is the power of acceptance so no matter
what you do in life be sure that you do
not spend your time on excessive
internal mental walls our life is too
short for that if you want to take away
only one things from this talk let it be
this
acceptance is all about the art of
coexisting with reality instead of
mentally resisting it and the ability to
coexist with reality is powerful thank
you
[Applause] [Music]