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Kindness and the Aetheist Case for Karma | Christopher Willard | TEDxYouth@GDRHS


[Applause]
well thank you all very much for being
here so I’m a guy who’s interested in
science
interested in creativity but as the
Science Guy thing’s actually brought me
to meditation which is really
interesting to me but not to some of the
you know kind of someone in traffic
means you’ll never get a good parking
spot
it’s more kind of complicated than that
and that made sense to me but as I kind
of studied neuroscience a little bit
more and studied things like social
science as a psychologist actually came
to disagree at least that part about
kind of how we drive affecting whether
we get a good parking spot so I’ll
explain to you how this kind of works
now we’ve probably all had that
experience where we’re driving in rush
hour traffic and you know we’re kind of
going so slowly and then we see someone
kind of in the distance just trying to
cut us off right that you know we can
think of a creative adjective for how
you might describe them right but we
have a dilemma in that moment right do
we listen to the kinder angel on our
shoulder and wave them in order listen
to that devil on our shoulder and just
like do the thousand-yard stare like I’m
never going to let them in person
doesn’t exist right and so before I kind
of get into what the parking gods or
karma or whoever decides what happens
whether we let them in or not let’s look
at like why we might let them in or not
let them in now we know about human
behavior that it’s based on two things
right nature and nurture biology and
like our social experiences and the kind
of events that happen in our lives
nature is like our DNA and our biology
and you know other things you see up on
this list here nurture is like our
childhood experiences our parents the
friendships that we have like they say
are the average of the five people you
spend the most time with right these
kinds of things influence us and even
our driver’s ed teacher to some extent
so we start out with this blueprint of
DNA and then
kind of combines with with our nurture
experiences that we have but where does
that kind of DNA even come from in the
first place and one thing that’s
interesting is that kind of over the
last few years there’s a new aspect of
genetic science that’s actually
overturned decades of understanding and
this is called epigenetics and it’s
actually how our nurture experiences
actually affect our nature they affect
our DNA so these scientists basically
what they did was they found some
genetically identical mice and they
basically just like stressed out half of
them right and what they found compared
to their genetically identical brothers
and sisters was that a few months later
those mice were acting differently no
big surprise because they were stressed
out but they they did a blood test and
they found that their genes had actually
kind of turned on and off in certain
ways that were different than the mice
that had the low stress life of like you
know hamster wheel workouts and sleeping
in sawdust and all that kind of stuff
and what they found that was even more
interesting was that those mice that
experienced the stress these kind of
genetic changes that they saw they saw
them in those mice as children and in
their grandchildren as well so that some
of the genetic information that was
being passed down was actually starting
to change just based on their experience
so what does this mean for us well for a
lot of us if we look at our family tree
maybe we’ve had our grandparents or our
ancestors have had some traumatic
experiences right War slavery genocide
poverty all of these things may have
affected the way your grandparents
Gene’s started to express themselves and
that actually affects the DNA that
you’re walking around with today in
terms of what’s kind of turned on and
off in that DNA and so we kind of think
about we have this genetic setup and
then we think about our experiences on
that day that we drive home in rush hour
traffic and you know maybe we had a bad
night’s sleep and we ate some junk food
or nothing at all we got in a fight with
our best friend or our partner or
something like that and we’re in a bad
mood and we get into traffic and we’re
kind of in that fight-or-flight mode
because the world doesn’t seem like a
safe place
you know it’s kill or be killed it’s cut
off in traffic or cut that person off in
traffic and we decide to cut them off
and a few things actually happen when we
do that we actually rewire our brain we
know that actually forming a habit
we do something today we do it tomorrow
in our brain we do something today it
creates a neural pathway and we’re more
likely to do that tomorrow and a few
things also happen in different parts of
our brain so when we’re stressed
cortisol is the stress hormone that
blocks our ability to feel kind of
compassionate with oxytocin the love
hormone the limbic system which is where
we feel strong emotions that shuts down
our ability to think clearly and take
perspective on this situation and then
we cut that person off and then we’re
kind of a nasty person people that gets
reinforced people don’t like us so much
we keep seeing the world as a dangerous
place where we should only fight and
flee from situations and that gets
reinforced day by day as well and so we
go ahead and we just cut that person off
in traffic and then kind of what happens
over time is the neurons that fire
together wire together with
neuroplasticity and then even in terms
of our genes they start to change I’ve
got this quote up here it says if you
think of the stress system as preparing
you for fight or flight you might
imagine these epigenetic changes prepare
you to fight harder and flee faster the
next time you encounter something
stressful like rush-hour traffic
alright changing our change in this way
and this thing is that it doesn’t
actually stop with us it actually starts
to trickle outward so that how I act
affects other people it doesn’t just
affect me and how I feel but I cut that
person off in traffic they’re actually
more likely to then go home and snap at
their kids send them up to bed without
any dessert and then those kids start to
do something different they kick the dog
on the way up the stairs they go to bed
unhappy they wake up unhappy their gene
expression starts to change itself so
that those genetic materials get passed
on to their kids and their grandkids
that say you should fight and flee from
all these just mildly stressful
situations like rush hour traffic but
let’s pause there and think about what
happens when we do decide to listen to
the kinder angels of our nature and just
let that person go in traffic what
happens and why and so again there’s
some of that nature there’s some of that
nurture that’s part of it right maybe
even in our family tree our grandparents
did experience some difficult things but
maybe they went to therapy or they got
help or they you know work
their issues and their genetic material
didn’t actually change to kind of send
these messages on down to your parents
and on to you eventually and maybe even
they did or they didn’t but maybe you
had a pretty good day right you got a
good night’s sleep you ate a healthy
meal that day you laughed with your
friends the Sun was shining you weren’t
in a rush you’re in a good mood the
world seems like a safe place and
letting someone go in traffic doesn’t
seem like a big deal right so you go
ahead and you’re able to let them in
because you’re not in fight or flight
you’re in that kind of mode where you’re
able to kind of think use your whole
brain see the whole big picture and
think oh maybe they’re just rushing
their sick kid to the hospital today
right and then your your your brains
actually also you’re kind of able to be
compassionate with the oxytocin flowing
and you think I’m going to do something
kind because that feels good and you go
ahead and you wave them in and we know
when we do nice things right people tend
to like us so that gets reinforced again
and again and so I keep doing nice
things it becomes a habit to do those
nice things when I waive them in in
traffic like the you know nice guy that
I am or whatever and then that changes
my brain so I have the habit of doing
nice things and driving like a nice guy
every day in traffic and they also have
a few hits of some different
neurotransmitters so I get serotonin
which regulates mood and anxiety I get a
hit of oxytocin which makes me feel kind
of all warm and fuzzy for the next few
hours and I get dopamine which is a
reward transmitter that actually makes
me feel good and positive as well and
when we do good we feel good because
we’re actually strengthening the parts
of our brain that are associated with
with connection and Trust with other
people and then my genes don’t change to
kind of send that genetic material
onward either but also this same social
contagion thing happens so these
researchers James Fowler and Nick
Christie aqus they’re at Emory and at
Yale and they’ve studied social
contagions and they found that even just
witnessing one act of generosity
actually leads to people kind of being
kinder three degrees of separation away
so I go ahead and I wave that person in
in traffic and they maybe you know make
extra cookies for the kids before bed
the kids go to bed happy they scratch
the dogs tummy on the way
upstairs the kids wake up happy they
wake up happier and more resilient they
grow up more resilient they pass new
more resilient genetic material on to
their kids and their grandkids going
forward right and so one of the things
that’s amazing about generosity and
kindness is that the research is finding
and we all know that it feels good when
we get something right but the research
is finding that we actually feel better
when we give something away so there’s a
study that that basically gave people a
$5 bill and they said you can either
keep this or you can give it away now
what happened that surprised the
researchers as well as the kind of
subjects in the research study was the
people that gave away the $5 bill there
you go give it away if you like or keep
it but they felt better than the people
who kept it so there’s a guy named
Richie Davidson who studies this stuff
and what he says is that the best way to
activate positive emotion circuits in
the brain is through acts of generosity
and so what we know is when we kind in
traffic or whatever situation I’m
happier more optimistic the people
around me are happier my kids even my
grandkids are happier wired for more
resilience kind of going forward into
the generations right okay Chris this is
all interesting but where’s my parking
spot okay I’m getting there I’ve got one
last study that I want to share with you
that I find really interesting it’s by a
guy with the greatest name for a
scientist ever his name is Richard
Wiseman okay so he did this study where
he wanted to kind of see how optimists
and pessimists happy people and unhappy
people perceived the world in different
ways what kinds of things they see so he
gave them all on newspaper and he said I
want you to count the number of
photographs in the newspaper now what
happened the optimists finished the job
in just a few seconds the pessimists
they took actually a few minutes they
took much longer but he did a little bit
of a trick when he did this experiment
which was in the second page of the
newspaper there was an ad that said stop
counting there are 43 photographs in the
newspaper
now the optimists were able to tune into
this kind of creative opportunity right
in front of them but the pessimists just
looked right past it they both had the
same
opportunity right there but it was only
the people that were happy and
optimistic that we’re really able to
kind of tune into these different
chances that were right there in front
of everybody we’re the pessimists just
kind of tuned it back out so what does
this mean to me well to me it means that
maybe my meditation teacher and my
driver’s ed teacher were kind of on the
same page and maybe they should have
taught me you know that like when the
driver is ready the parking spot appears
or something you know kind of wise and
sage like that because when we’re
feeling happy and optimistic and that
parking spot opens up were able to see
it when we’re in that kind of good mood
from how we’ve acted before in traffic
on that day so here’s what I encourage
you to do I encourage you to take a page
from the PlayBook of my good friend
Shireen now Shireen sounds like a person
I’m making up but I swear to god she’s
real I just happened to change her name
Shireen grew up in Pakistan Muslim she
went to Catholic school she’s now an
atheist she’s actually in 12-step
recovery from alcoholism and she
practices Buddhist meditation she kind
of believes in everything and she kind
of believes in nothing but what she does
believe in and she inspired this talk
actually is acts of kindness and what
she does her act of kindness is actually
just everyday she lets one person go in
front of her in traffic now around where
we live whatever you believe that
probably khalaf eyes for like sainthood
or some kind of incredible afterlife or
heavenly realm or rebirth or something
like that right but what we do know at
least from the science is what that
definitely qualifies her for is more
happiness more resilience more happiness
for herself her family maybe even some
stranger’s too right more resilience for
her kids going forward and maybe better
odds of a good parking spot so what I
encourage you to do as well going
forward if you want more happiness
optimism resilience and creativity in
your life is to consider just one act of
kindness a day whatever you want that to
be and in that way you’ll make yourself
happier more optimistic and resilient
your friends some strangers your own
kids and grandchildren and so on and so
on and maybe even changing the course of
human evolution toward greater kindness
greater generosity and greater
compassion going forward thank you so
much
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