anytime that we feel guilt or shame
about a food choice or inaction it
actually activates the reward center in
the brain I really wanted to start to
make people understand how their brain
is driving them and remove some of those
feelings of guilt and shame and give
them the tools and the worksheets and
the exercises that would help them to
unravel their thought process around
this and where they picked up those
ideas so when we look at the brain under
an MRI when the feelings of guilt or
shame which so many diet programs right
they they create these boundaries at
which once you cross that boundary you
are somehow bad you have somehow broken
a line so this is sort of back to that
woman right she she felt like she had
done something wrong she felt guilty and
shameful so that drove her brain into
the reward center lighting up and then
she goes for whatever it was that she
was trying to avoid so a gambler is
gonna gamble more as they’re losing
right the the shopaholic is going to
spend more money and shop more as they
feel more guilt and more shame over what
it is that they’re doing so my entire
philosophy and process was how do I
figure out how to move people away from
these feelings of you know there’s a
specific program that if they don’t
stick to it perfectly they therefore are
bad they therefore have have broken
something and it’s over right because
that was the process that I found myself
going through as I would lose weight
there was a finite ending to that maybe
I reached a weight goal or I or I did
something wrong where it broke down and
so I didn’t just go back to like sort of
healthy eating I went back to the most
unhealthy eating there is in the world
right binge eating and overeating and
all of those things it’s really
interesting to me and I think this is
what I found so fascinating about target
100 the way you open the book like first
with your story which is amazing and I
definitely want to talk
that and then to your point like once
people understand that they’ve built
this unhealthy relationship with food
then they can actually get to the cause
and begin to unwind it yeah and I heard
you say one time that you know I think
oftentimes people are surprised because
I have to come to them at the diet level
because that’s what they expect exactly
that’s not what we’re gonna stay now
that was so interesting
that’s exactly right right like it’s so
funny you know I have to come at them
with what resonates with what they can
understand at this moment but where I
take them is so deep and so much further
than what they’ve ever thought about
their relationship with food and I have
sort of a tagline of like I say I’m
going to return you to a normal
relationship with food we have a really
strange relationship with food in this
country I think we’ve lost our way in
many ways I think dieting and you know
all of these sort of extremes that that
have have come in and come out you know
going into a process and sort of
slavishly or following you know the
rules that somebody else has set out
that worked for them
right I always say for my clients I say
like let’s pretend we’re going to a hat
store right if you were gonna buy
yourself a hat you’d try on a whole
bunch of hats and if they didn’t look
good you’d take them off and you would
pick up the pieces that kind of looked
good about that hat and you’d go to the
next one so I’m always encouraging
people to not turn themselves over use
these programs they’re amazing you’ll
learn something from doing them but
don’t beat yourself up if it isn’t your
long-term plan that you’re gonna stick
to completely but that’s where I think
this thing gets set up for people is
they do one of these things you know
they go to Weight Watchers they stay on
it for four weeks or so and then when
they can’t sustain it they feel like a
failure and those feelings drive them to
overeat we are just a bundle of habit
patterns 50% of what we do in a day is
simply have it
and habits are relegated to a back
portion of the brain where honestly we
aren’t even present when we’re doing
them and we do that for a really
important reason right because if I had
to decide how to wash my hair every day
that would that would be exhausting my
decisions for later in the day so so we
have to love our habits but if 50% of
what we do in a day is have it then 50%
of the decisions were making about how
we feed ourselves you know when we do
are we eating in the car are we eating
on the go are we you know what are we
how are we feeling our bodies then 50%
of that is just kind of not we’re not
even present for it and we’re just being
driven to these sort of old easy
patterns so we don’t have to think so in
the book you break down the anatomy of a
habit that was really cool walk people
through quickly that are watching now
that might have a tenuous or unhealthy
relationship with food they have habits
that aren’t taking them where they want
to go they may be blind to those habits
how do they become aware and then more
importantly how do they create that new
pattern great so the anatomy of a habit
is simple right habits are just very
very simple they are made up of three
distinct things that happen there is a
trigger there are a cue of some sort
that kicks that routine off that kicks
the habit off that habit then gives you
some sort of a reward so you may know
that it would be best for you to have a
healthy breakfast right and but your
habit isn’t that you don’t know that
perhaps having a healthy breakfast
would be smart it’s that your bad habit
is you wake up and use the snooze bar
three times in a row making you you know
15 to 20 minutes late every single day
so you get up all the sudden you’re
running late you then skip breakfast all
together you’re completely stressed out
you get in the car you get to the office
and there’s a coffee cart with Donuts
outside you say I’m just gonna get
coffee but as humans anytime we see food
smell food or talk about food were
triggered to eat it so you see the
doughnut you don’t have any resolve at
that moment
because you’ve been eating the donut
habitually for days but it also releases
a big fat dose of serotonin so you are
getting a real feel-good kind of thing
we back it up and we say like so why is
this happening okay let’s take that
alarm clock this trigger is this
triggers bad this this lateness is
triggering this this donut
let’s move this alarm clock across the
room or stop using your phone as an
alarm clock and get an actual alarm
clock and put it across the room so you
have to get out of bed and let’s stop
being late because that extra 10 15 20
minutes allows you to then go to the
kitchen where we trigger other things
right where I put post-it notes of like
okay today’s breakfast is X Y & Z so you
don’t have to think you just have to
start to create this new pattern once
you do something about three to five
times it begins to become this new
fledgling habit and it’s not as painful
I think in that anatomy of habits I
think no one ever has talked about the
emotional difficulty that ensues from
changing a habit as well I just I like
to tell people to be aware that there
will be so many emotions when you try to
change something that’s so comfortable
and you don’t have to think about you
will be mad you’ll want to stomp your
feet you’ll feel angry you’ll feel sad
you’ll feel you know all of this anxiety
it’s just that your body wants so badly
to not have to think about these sort of
less than important decisions that it
feels very painful but if you will
repeat those things as I say three to
five times they become this fledgeling
habit and you just need to sort of fan
the flames of that habit soon enough
that becomes the comfortable thing and
all of a sudden breakfast is knocked out
like all the sudden you’re like oh gosh
I’ve got the stuff in the house and
eating breakfast every day I’m not
getting over hungry I’m not eating the
doughnut that starts to lead to actual
weight loss that change of moving the alarm clock across the room
about a food choice or inaction it
actually activates the reward center in
the brain I really wanted to start to
make people understand how their brain
is driving them and remove some of those
feelings of guilt and shame and give
them the tools and the worksheets and
the exercises that would help them to
unravel their thought process around
this and where they picked up those
ideas so when we look at the brain under
an MRI when the feelings of guilt or
shame which so many diet programs right
they they create these boundaries at
which once you cross that boundary you
are somehow bad you have somehow broken
a line so this is sort of back to that
woman right she she felt like she had
done something wrong she felt guilty and
shameful so that drove her brain into
the reward center lighting up and then
she goes for whatever it was that she
was trying to avoid so a gambler is
gonna gamble more as they’re losing
right the the shopaholic is going to
spend more money and shop more as they
feel more guilt and more shame over what
it is that they’re doing so my entire
philosophy and process was how do I
figure out how to move people away from
these feelings of you know there’s a
specific program that if they don’t
stick to it perfectly they therefore are
bad they therefore have have broken
something and it’s over right because
that was the process that I found myself
going through as I would lose weight
there was a finite ending to that maybe
I reached a weight goal or I or I did
something wrong where it broke down and
so I didn’t just go back to like sort of
healthy eating I went back to the most
unhealthy eating there is in the world
right binge eating and overeating and
all of those things it’s really
interesting to me and I think this is
what I found so fascinating about target
100 the way you open the book like first
with your story which is amazing and I
definitely want to talk
that and then to your point like once
people understand that they’ve built
this unhealthy relationship with food
then they can actually get to the cause
and begin to unwind it yeah and I heard
you say one time that you know I think
oftentimes people are surprised because
I have to come to them at the diet level
because that’s what they expect exactly
that’s not what we’re gonna stay now
that was so interesting
that’s exactly right right like it’s so
funny you know I have to come at them
with what resonates with what they can
understand at this moment but where I
take them is so deep and so much further
than what they’ve ever thought about
their relationship with food and I have
sort of a tagline of like I say I’m
going to return you to a normal
relationship with food we have a really
strange relationship with food in this
country I think we’ve lost our way in
many ways I think dieting and you know
all of these sort of extremes that that
have have come in and come out you know
going into a process and sort of
slavishly or following you know the
rules that somebody else has set out
that worked for them
right I always say for my clients I say
like let’s pretend we’re going to a hat
store right if you were gonna buy
yourself a hat you’d try on a whole
bunch of hats and if they didn’t look
good you’d take them off and you would
pick up the pieces that kind of looked
good about that hat and you’d go to the
next one so I’m always encouraging
people to not turn themselves over use
these programs they’re amazing you’ll
learn something from doing them but
don’t beat yourself up if it isn’t your
long-term plan that you’re gonna stick
to completely but that’s where I think
this thing gets set up for people is
they do one of these things you know
they go to Weight Watchers they stay on
it for four weeks or so and then when
they can’t sustain it they feel like a
failure and those feelings drive them to
overeat we are just a bundle of habit
patterns 50% of what we do in a day is
simply have it
and habits are relegated to a back
portion of the brain where honestly we
aren’t even present when we’re doing
them and we do that for a really
important reason right because if I had
to decide how to wash my hair every day
that would that would be exhausting my
decisions for later in the day so so we
have to love our habits but if 50% of
what we do in a day is have it then 50%
of the decisions were making about how
we feed ourselves you know when we do
are we eating in the car are we eating
on the go are we you know what are we
how are we feeling our bodies then 50%
of that is just kind of not we’re not
even present for it and we’re just being
driven to these sort of old easy
patterns so we don’t have to think so in
the book you break down the anatomy of a
habit that was really cool walk people
through quickly that are watching now
that might have a tenuous or unhealthy
relationship with food they have habits
that aren’t taking them where they want
to go they may be blind to those habits
how do they become aware and then more
importantly how do they create that new
pattern great so the anatomy of a habit
is simple right habits are just very
very simple they are made up of three
distinct things that happen there is a
trigger there are a cue of some sort
that kicks that routine off that kicks
the habit off that habit then gives you
some sort of a reward so you may know
that it would be best for you to have a
healthy breakfast right and but your
habit isn’t that you don’t know that
perhaps having a healthy breakfast
would be smart it’s that your bad habit
is you wake up and use the snooze bar
three times in a row making you you know
15 to 20 minutes late every single day
so you get up all the sudden you’re
running late you then skip breakfast all
together you’re completely stressed out
you get in the car you get to the office
and there’s a coffee cart with Donuts
outside you say I’m just gonna get
coffee but as humans anytime we see food
smell food or talk about food were
triggered to eat it so you see the
doughnut you don’t have any resolve at
that moment
because you’ve been eating the donut
habitually for days but it also releases
a big fat dose of serotonin so you are
getting a real feel-good kind of thing
we back it up and we say like so why is
this happening okay let’s take that
alarm clock this trigger is this
triggers bad this this lateness is
triggering this this donut
let’s move this alarm clock across the
room or stop using your phone as an
alarm clock and get an actual alarm
clock and put it across the room so you
have to get out of bed and let’s stop
being late because that extra 10 15 20
minutes allows you to then go to the
kitchen where we trigger other things
right where I put post-it notes of like
okay today’s breakfast is X Y & Z so you
don’t have to think you just have to
start to create this new pattern once
you do something about three to five
times it begins to become this new
fledgling habit and it’s not as painful
I think in that anatomy of habits I
think no one ever has talked about the
emotional difficulty that ensues from
changing a habit as well I just I like
to tell people to be aware that there
will be so many emotions when you try to
change something that’s so comfortable
and you don’t have to think about you
will be mad you’ll want to stomp your
feet you’ll feel angry you’ll feel sad
you’ll feel you know all of this anxiety
it’s just that your body wants so badly
to not have to think about these sort of
less than important decisions that it
feels very painful but if you will
repeat those things as I say three to
five times they become this fledgeling
habit and you just need to sort of fan
the flames of that habit soon enough
that becomes the comfortable thing and
all of a sudden breakfast is knocked out
like all the sudden you’re like oh gosh
I’ve got the stuff in the house and
eating breakfast every day I’m not
getting over hungry I’m not eating the
doughnut that starts to lead to actual
weight loss that change of moving the alarm clock across the room
Please follow and like us: