it was the people with the tightest
social connections that had the ability
to weather the storms that life throw at
us and it seems so cold and calculated
and callous but I totally get it
every time the awareness goes into the
future into the past in an uncontrolled
rise and shine it’s an espresso time
what’s up believe nation at seven I
believe in you and this channel is
designed to be a part of your daily
success routine so let’s start your day
off right together grab your coffee and
sip on today’s message see your friends
more over to you Mel Robbins also if you
want to know what Mel Robbins and other
successful entrepreneurs have to say
about building unstoppable confidence
check out my 250 for confidence series
where every day for the next 254 days I
will send you a morning video for free
to help you build your confidence the
link to join is in the description below
everybody’s problem comes down to one
pattern you’re repeating that you can’t
see when you set goals when you have an
intention on something that you want to
change about your life your brain helps
you and if you’re somebody that’s
watching this and you have no clue what
you want I’m gonna say that’s total bull
it turns out that one of the best stress
relievers on the planet is something
that most of us don’t ever do and that
is seek out time with friends when we
feel totally stressed out when you’re
doing twice as much work as you normally
do or you’re feeling twice as much
stress as you normally feel studies at
Harvard show that what you need is you
need to see your friends twice as much
now Sean anchor is a really famous
researcher and best-selling author at
Harvard and he studied this phenomenon
he looked at at people that were
stressed at schools and in call centers
and in the military and in banks and in
almost every single industry what he
discovered is that the most successful
people the people that were the best at
selling the people that there were the
most resilient the people that had the
best ability to deal with stress when
times got tough were the ones that saw
their friends the most it was the people
with the tightest social connections
that had the ability to weather the
storms that life throw at us I want you
to write down three people three people
that when you hang out with them you
feel energized that when you have plans
with them you’re excited about seeing
them when this video ends reach out to
them that’s right pick up the phone send
them a text I want you to invite them to
do something go out to lunch go for a
walk in the woods get a cup of coffee go
out to dinner even if you’re not
stressed out I guarantee you at least
one of the three people that you’re
gonna reach out to needs you so this
approach does not work for me it does
not work for me I have very few friends
and I have a very low need to be around
people and to have friends I have a very
low need for friendship and I used to
think that I was a really weird duck and
I know I am a weird duck I used to think
I was the only one I thought that you
know am I the only one am I that crazy
and then we made a video on Shahrukh
Khan who’s the king of Bollywood and he
said something that really struck me
that not many people picked up on in his
top 10 video that we made but it really
hit me hard where he said that he
connects with people through the work so
he’s the same as actor and he’s off
doing all these acting movies and when
he’s on set and when he’s working with
his his
Cass and his cohorts he’s their friends
and he loves them and he’s engaged with
them and he wants him to win and he
deeply deeply deeply cares about them
but once the video is done once their
females finish shooting he doesn’t want
to hang out with them they invite him to
his parties their parties and events
Mike T feels like he doesn’t want
anything to do with it he’s like I love
you I love you but I don’t want to hang
out with you anymore and it seems so
cold and calculated and callous but I
totally get it
he connects to people through the work I
connect with people from the work that’s
how I get my connection I think
everybody needs a connection but I get
it through the work I don’t like hanging
out with people I don’t want to call
three people and ask how they’re doing I
hate that stuff I want to help
like I want every moment we spend to be
meaningful and impactful and important
and I end up having super deep
connections with with people look at the
people that I met on this tour the
things that they’ve told me they haven’t
told some people haven’t told anyone in
their life except me and so it forms
this massive trust a massive connection
and that’s amazing but I don’t want to
be their friend and I don’t want to hang
out I don’t want to go skiing together I
don’t want to go watch the Super Bowl or
anything else I connect with people
through the work and so you might be the
weird crazy duck like me I’m just given
an alternate perspective I think what
Mel is saying is mostly right I think
that’s actually for most people that’s
the way to do it I think of Nina
absolutely but for me that does not work
that causes me more stress the idea of
having a call three friends and organize
a time to meet with them is causing me
more stress when I get stressed out
here’s the thing that come to mind so an
alternative solution if you’re a weird
duck like me one if you’re stressed out
in the macro like if you’re stressed out
coming home every day super stressed out
you need to fix your life like there’s
something wrong in your life that a talk
with friends may help get rid of the
headache a little bit like it’s a little
bit of an aspirin but it doesn’t solve
the problem go solve the problem like go
figure out what is causing this massive
stress and find a way to fix it and then
to if it’s something that is just in the
moment it’s not some major thing but
you’re stressed out because your website
went down or a customers upset or or
something that you have to deal with in
the moment then solve it like I need to
solve it if I’m stressed out and Nina
sees that I’m stressed out because I’m
trying to fix a problem I don’t want to
talk to her about it I don’t want to
talk to anybody about it I want to go in
fix the problem and once I fix the
problem the stress is gone and just
talking about the problem and how much
it’s impacting me serves me zero it just
gets me more frustrated because I want
to go off and solve the problem and so
I’m a weird duck maybe you’re a weird
duck too
I just want to give an alternate
perspective and I’d love to know from
you so I’ve got a special bonus cap that
I’m gonna play that I think you’re gonna
really enjoy but question of thing for
you do you want to hang out more with
your friends do you need that more in
your life and what action are you going
to take otherwise are you like me a
weird duck and you don’t have a high
need for friends and if so then how do
you deal with stress I’d love to hear
from you let me know in the comments
below when I was growing up I had met my
guru when I was about 21 and I was gonna
join his monastic order which was in
Hawaii I was at that time living in
Western Australia and studying in
University and I remembered my last year
of engineering I was feeling extremely
stressed I had a thesis which I’ve been
working on for a year and a half that I
needed to complete in the next month I
had seven or eight examinations that I
had to pass in order to graduate as an
engineer I was the president of the
youth group of our temple over that
local temple over there and we were
organizing a lot of different events and
I was also dancing as part of a dance
company that I was involved in and they
were also putting up a big show so we
were rehearsing almost every night and I
remember you nailing my girls saying
Gurudeva I’m really stressed I have all
these things going on and I’m stressed
he emailed me back and I don’t remember
the exact words that he he used but he
emailed me back and said the reason
you’re stressed is because you don’t
keep you awareness on one thing at a
time and I’ll be absolutely honest with
you ever since that they have never felt
stressed anymore and I know it’s a very
bold Proclamation to make but it’s true
cuz I clearly understood what he said to
me at that point whenever I was dancing
I was thinking about my thesis and I was
working on my thesis I was thinking
the exams to do when I was think working
on my exams when I was studying for my
exams I was thinking about the youth
group and wherever I was I was thinking
about something else
anxiety comes because we allow us to
drift away from the present moment and
go into the future or into the past in
an uncontrolled way so the past and the
future are not bad things as long as we
indulge in them or we enter them with
the aim to learn from them but we don’t
if we just allow awareness to travel
into the past into the future all the
time it creates anxiety and we do that
because we’re afraid
anxiety comes out of a sense of fear
where we allow Lanice to go into the
future we create a situation that hasn’t
happened
we bring it back into the present and
start living it as it has already
happened you keep repeating the process
over and over and over again you
buildings I I’m gonna get sick I’m gonna
get sick you think in the future what if
I get sick then what happens oh my god
I’m gonna get sick and then you bring
back the present and you start learning
that five minutes later you let your
awareness go into the future you think
to yourself I’m not gonna get better I’m
gonna get sick and then you bring
awareness back into the present again
and you start worrying about it you keep
repeating this process over and over
again and you’re billing tight so the
way together becomes stress and anxiety
is to really control where your house
goes every time the awareness goes into
the future into the past and an
uncontrolled way bring it back to the
present again and just do this exercise
being mindful of this throughout the
entire day don’t let your awareness go
into the past or into the future in an
uncontrolled way and if you want more
Mel Robbins check out the how to make
2019 your best year ever video we did
with her the link is right there next to
me I think you’ll enjoy it continue to
believe and I’ll see you there I believe
that passion is another word for energy
that’s it you
social connections that had the ability
to weather the storms that life throw at
us and it seems so cold and calculated
and callous but I totally get it
every time the awareness goes into the
future into the past in an uncontrolled
rise and shine it’s an espresso time
what’s up believe nation at seven I
believe in you and this channel is
designed to be a part of your daily
success routine so let’s start your day
off right together grab your coffee and
sip on today’s message see your friends
more over to you Mel Robbins also if you
want to know what Mel Robbins and other
successful entrepreneurs have to say
about building unstoppable confidence
check out my 250 for confidence series
where every day for the next 254 days I
will send you a morning video for free
to help you build your confidence the
link to join is in the description below
everybody’s problem comes down to one
pattern you’re repeating that you can’t
see when you set goals when you have an
intention on something that you want to
change about your life your brain helps
you and if you’re somebody that’s
watching this and you have no clue what
you want I’m gonna say that’s total bull
it turns out that one of the best stress
relievers on the planet is something
that most of us don’t ever do and that
is seek out time with friends when we
feel totally stressed out when you’re
doing twice as much work as you normally
do or you’re feeling twice as much
stress as you normally feel studies at
Harvard show that what you need is you
need to see your friends twice as much
now Sean anchor is a really famous
researcher and best-selling author at
Harvard and he studied this phenomenon
he looked at at people that were
stressed at schools and in call centers
and in the military and in banks and in
almost every single industry what he
discovered is that the most successful
people the people that were the best at
selling the people that there were the
most resilient the people that had the
best ability to deal with stress when
times got tough were the ones that saw
their friends the most it was the people
with the tightest social connections
that had the ability to weather the
storms that life throw at us I want you
to write down three people three people
that when you hang out with them you
feel energized that when you have plans
with them you’re excited about seeing
them when this video ends reach out to
them that’s right pick up the phone send
them a text I want you to invite them to
do something go out to lunch go for a
walk in the woods get a cup of coffee go
out to dinner even if you’re not
stressed out I guarantee you at least
one of the three people that you’re
gonna reach out to needs you so this
approach does not work for me it does
not work for me I have very few friends
and I have a very low need to be around
people and to have friends I have a very
low need for friendship and I used to
think that I was a really weird duck and
I know I am a weird duck I used to think
I was the only one I thought that you
know am I the only one am I that crazy
and then we made a video on Shahrukh
Khan who’s the king of Bollywood and he
said something that really struck me
that not many people picked up on in his
top 10 video that we made but it really
hit me hard where he said that he
connects with people through the work so
he’s the same as actor and he’s off
doing all these acting movies and when
he’s on set and when he’s working with
his his
Cass and his cohorts he’s their friends
and he loves them and he’s engaged with
them and he wants him to win and he
deeply deeply deeply cares about them
but once the video is done once their
females finish shooting he doesn’t want
to hang out with them they invite him to
his parties their parties and events
Mike T feels like he doesn’t want
anything to do with it he’s like I love
you I love you but I don’t want to hang
out with you anymore and it seems so
cold and calculated and callous but I
totally get it
he connects to people through the work I
connect with people from the work that’s
how I get my connection I think
everybody needs a connection but I get
it through the work I don’t like hanging
out with people I don’t want to call
three people and ask how they’re doing I
hate that stuff I want to help
like I want every moment we spend to be
meaningful and impactful and important
and I end up having super deep
connections with with people look at the
people that I met on this tour the
things that they’ve told me they haven’t
told some people haven’t told anyone in
their life except me and so it forms
this massive trust a massive connection
and that’s amazing but I don’t want to
be their friend and I don’t want to hang
out I don’t want to go skiing together I
don’t want to go watch the Super Bowl or
anything else I connect with people
through the work and so you might be the
weird crazy duck like me I’m just given
an alternate perspective I think what
Mel is saying is mostly right I think
that’s actually for most people that’s
the way to do it I think of Nina
absolutely but for me that does not work
that causes me more stress the idea of
having a call three friends and organize
a time to meet with them is causing me
more stress when I get stressed out
here’s the thing that come to mind so an
alternative solution if you’re a weird
duck like me one if you’re stressed out
in the macro like if you’re stressed out
coming home every day super stressed out
you need to fix your life like there’s
something wrong in your life that a talk
with friends may help get rid of the
headache a little bit like it’s a little
bit of an aspirin but it doesn’t solve
the problem go solve the problem like go
figure out what is causing this massive
stress and find a way to fix it and then
to if it’s something that is just in the
moment it’s not some major thing but
you’re stressed out because your website
went down or a customers upset or or
something that you have to deal with in
the moment then solve it like I need to
solve it if I’m stressed out and Nina
sees that I’m stressed out because I’m
trying to fix a problem I don’t want to
talk to her about it I don’t want to
talk to anybody about it I want to go in
fix the problem and once I fix the
problem the stress is gone and just
talking about the problem and how much
it’s impacting me serves me zero it just
gets me more frustrated because I want
to go off and solve the problem and so
I’m a weird duck maybe you’re a weird
duck too
I just want to give an alternate
perspective and I’d love to know from
you so I’ve got a special bonus cap that
I’m gonna play that I think you’re gonna
really enjoy but question of thing for
you do you want to hang out more with
your friends do you need that more in
your life and what action are you going
to take otherwise are you like me a
weird duck and you don’t have a high
need for friends and if so then how do
you deal with stress I’d love to hear
from you let me know in the comments
below when I was growing up I had met my
guru when I was about 21 and I was gonna
join his monastic order which was in
Hawaii I was at that time living in
Western Australia and studying in
University and I remembered my last year
of engineering I was feeling extremely
stressed I had a thesis which I’ve been
working on for a year and a half that I
needed to complete in the next month I
had seven or eight examinations that I
had to pass in order to graduate as an
engineer I was the president of the
youth group of our temple over that
local temple over there and we were
organizing a lot of different events and
I was also dancing as part of a dance
company that I was involved in and they
were also putting up a big show so we
were rehearsing almost every night and I
remember you nailing my girls saying
Gurudeva I’m really stressed I have all
these things going on and I’m stressed
he emailed me back and I don’t remember
the exact words that he he used but he
emailed me back and said the reason
you’re stressed is because you don’t
keep you awareness on one thing at a
time and I’ll be absolutely honest with
you ever since that they have never felt
stressed anymore and I know it’s a very
bold Proclamation to make but it’s true
cuz I clearly understood what he said to
me at that point whenever I was dancing
I was thinking about my thesis and I was
working on my thesis I was thinking
the exams to do when I was think working
on my exams when I was studying for my
exams I was thinking about the youth
group and wherever I was I was thinking
about something else
anxiety comes because we allow us to
drift away from the present moment and
go into the future or into the past in
an uncontrolled way so the past and the
future are not bad things as long as we
indulge in them or we enter them with
the aim to learn from them but we don’t
if we just allow awareness to travel
into the past into the future all the
time it creates anxiety and we do that
because we’re afraid
anxiety comes out of a sense of fear
where we allow Lanice to go into the
future we create a situation that hasn’t
happened
we bring it back into the present and
start living it as it has already
happened you keep repeating the process
over and over and over again you
buildings I I’m gonna get sick I’m gonna
get sick you think in the future what if
I get sick then what happens oh my god
I’m gonna get sick and then you bring
back the present and you start learning
that five minutes later you let your
awareness go into the future you think
to yourself I’m not gonna get better I’m
gonna get sick and then you bring
awareness back into the present again
and you start worrying about it you keep
repeating this process over and over
again and you’re billing tight so the
way together becomes stress and anxiety
is to really control where your house
goes every time the awareness goes into
the future into the past and an
uncontrolled way bring it back to the
present again and just do this exercise
being mindful of this throughout the
entire day don’t let your awareness go
into the past or into the future in an
uncontrolled way and if you want more
Mel Robbins check out the how to make
2019 your best year ever video we did
with her the link is right there next to
me I think you’ll enjoy it continue to
believe and I’ll see you there I believe
that passion is another word for energy
that’s it you
Please follow and like us: