Drive is the mode where you’re in charge
of your thoughts there’s a super tight
connection between happiness and the
ability to live in the present moment
whenever you start feeling in your life
like oh my gosh is this all there is
huge red flag number one you know I’ve
heard a lot of experts say that fear
isn’t real that is such a bunch of
baloney fear is so real posterity left
children speaking at the next conference
you watch
hello believe nation I’m Evan Carmichael
my one word is believe and I believe
that entrepreneurs are going to solve
all of the world’s major problems so to
help you on your journey today we’re
going to learn from TV host author and
speaker Mel Robbins and my take on our
top ten rules of success volume 2 rule
number one is my personal favorite and
I’d love to know which one you guys like
the best and as always as you’re
listening if something really resonates
with you is a message that really holds
true to you please leave it down the
comments below and put it in quotes so
that other people can be inspired and
when you write it down it’s much more
likely to stick with yourself as well
enjoy
drive
that’s this puppy right here this is
what you want this is your prefrontal
cortex Drive is the mode where you’re in
charge of your thoughts okay it’s where
you are fully awake you are present and
you are driving your thoughts and
actions when you’re doing that your
prefrontal cortex is active the
prefrontal cortex is the part of the
brain that you need in order to learn
new behavior in order to do something
difficult in order to do something
uncertain in order to do strategic
thinking so I’m going to give you an
example so I’m a righty
if I were to try to write with my left
hand like you
Louis is kind of short for me and tie my
hand behind my back and makes me like do
this I could do it it would look like I
was writing with my foot and if Lewis
came up to me and said hey Mel you want
some bulletproof coffee I’d be like
Louis under I’m trying to concentrate I
can’t do this my prefrontal cortex would
be el fuego because it is firing on all
cylinders to communicate to my hand new
behavior so the thing that’s cool about
that is that you can use a simple trick
the moment you feel yourself hesitate
the moment you’ve got one of those
moments where you know that you need to
this is that moment that Luce talks to
you about where you’ve got to step
outside of your comfort zone and you’ve
got to lean into your passion and you’ve
got to really take some risks and you’ve
got to feel the fear and you got to do
it anyway that’s the moment where you
just woke up and now you got a decision
to make are you going to drift back into
the habits or are you going to awaken
your prefrontal cortex and drive forward
and focus and do something new get up 30
minutes earlier than you normally do and
push yourself to work on the most
important priorities first this isn’t
just me research shows that your most
productive hours are the first two to
three hours after you wake up and get
ready this means that for peak
productivity you’ve got to do whatever
you can do to make sure the most
important work to you gets done first
during that window of time if you’re
living in the past you’re going to be
depressed because you are rehashing
things that happen to you that are not
going to happen again if you’re living
in the future you’re going to be anxious
because you are anticipating what’s
coming or you’re wishing for things that
aren’t happening yet being in the
present is where the gold is being in
the present moment is where you will
have the greatest control where you will
feel the most at ease and where
happiness flourishes there’s a super
tight connection between happiness and
the ability to live in the present
moment a lot of people believe that
happiness is tied to the things that
happen to you not so at all in fact
there is a professor of positive
psychology he’s one of the grandfather’s
of the movement he teaches at the
University of Pennsylvania his name is
Martin settlement and he studied
happiness for decades now one of the
things that we’ve talked about a lot is
that 40% of your happiness levels are
preset by genetics 60% you are in
complete control of and one of the
things that this professor has has
discovered is that it doesn’t matter
what’s happened to you in fact some of
the people that have had the worst
things the worst things happen to them
like people that have survived the
Holocaust are actually the happiest and
most grateful people in the world
happiness comes down to this right up
here comes down to your thoughts comes
down to your mindset it comes down to
your attitude and you are 100% control
of what you’re thinking you may not be
in control of how you feel in the moment
but you can always always always always
be in control of what you think and that
will change how you’re feeling one of
the most powerful things that you can do
in terms of think and this gets back to
strict question is how do you be present
being present is literally nothing more
than the skill of having your thoughts
be in this moment not in the past not
the future but right here the way that
you teach yourself how to do that
is that the moment that you catch
yourself being distracted the moment you
catch yourself starting to worry the
moment you catch yourself drifting to
the future drifting to the past that’s a
moment of tremendous power because you
basically just woke up
you basically just notice that you’re
not here in this particular moment so
use that wake-up call 5 4 3 2 1 and
ground yourself in this moment the best
way to ground yourself in the moment is
to look for something in this particular
moment that you can savor I’m using the
word savor on purpose because it’s the
word that psychologists use to describe
what happens when you find something in
this moment right now right here right
now to focus on and to appreciate it
could be literally the questions these
are these are printed out questions from
people on social media and if I were to
stop and look at these and savor them
what I would feel in this moment is a
tremendous amount of gratitude because
people are taking the time to write and
that makes me feel incredibly grateful
and it also makes me very happy because
it means that that the folks that are
writing are taking control of their
lives and seeking out the information
that they need another form of savoring
that we can all relate to is eating as
you’re eating instead of drifting to the
future and thinking about all the things
that you need to do or hanging out in
the past and rehashing everything that’s
happened during the day be in this
moment in this meal slow down
think about the food that you’re eating
think about the people that you’re
sitting with and how you feel about them
and if you want to take it up a notch
actually smell which are famous food
tastes amazing thank you for cooking or
I’m so glad to see you and that we get
the time to have this meal together
those small simple acts of savoring are
how you expand your happiness inside the
present moment so how do you be more
present simple the moment that you catch
yourself in the future in the past
worrying whatever refocus yourself right
here right now and then find something
right here
right now that you can savor and when
you do that you’re not only going to be
present you’re going to feel more
grateful and you’re going to feel a
little deuce to happiness I think the
two things that are the most important
things that you can focus on that are
priorities for you that will advance
your long-term goals so just pick two
priorities a day whenever you have some
spare time or you’ve got some wiggle
room and you’re scheduled that’s when
you force yourself to sit down and work
on those two priorities for the day
because here’s the truth about it to-do
list
eventually that crap will get done and
typically what we do all day long is
we’re usually putting out fires we’re
responding to emails we’re sitting in
meetings that other people have called
and our days get filled doing things for
other people so what I want you to do is
I want you to start thinking about every
single day what are two things that are
priorities for you and then find time
whenever you can even if it’s just 10
minutes to sit down and work on them I
want you to start seeing something
bigger I know you’re all successful I’m
talking about something really big for
your life and in order to do that you
have to answer this question what do you
really want now I’m not talking about
something small I’m not talking about a
little haiku I’m not talking about
renovating your kitchen I’m not talking
about signing on 10 new customers this
month I’m talking about what you really
want you know three years ago I was a
lawyer and a business
coach working with private clients and
big corporations all over the country
and I came to a seminar just like this
was a big leadership seminar and I went
there with my husband were both business
owners and I went because I wanted to be
more successful and I went because I
wanted to make even more money than I
already did and I’m sitting exactly
where you are in fact I was sitting
about 15 rows back right where that
woman with her hand on her hanging like
yet you know she’s like hi I was sitting
and I was taking notes and I’m like okay
I’m here to make more money and then all
of a sudden she walked on stage that is
Martha Beck she writes a column for
Oprah Winfrey she travels around the
country speaking she’s a best-selling
author and when she walked on stage I
literally stopped listening please keep
listening to me right now and it hits me
I said I want to be doing that I’m ready
for a bigger State with that’s it and
what’s so interesting about when you
answer that question is that you don’t
answer it up here you answer it here
that’s how you see something bigger for
yourself you know you guys are really
cute because everybody is like I don’t
see it what do you I don’t see anything
for myself right I and now I’m just
confused I thought I knew what I wanted
you know and now Ella I’m not really
sure and right now the economy is so bad
I mean it’s so bad that even if you’re
successful I know sometimes I feel
embarrassed talking about my success
around some of my friends because I know
that they’re really struggling and I get
calls every day into the radio show
people saying oh I’ve got this great
idea but I just don’t know if it’s the
right time and you know I say to them I
say yeah you know you’re right the
recession it’s if you should wait those
dreams yeah put them on hold that’s
right you you should you should stay in
the job you can’t stand just a little
bit long being at college bills to pay
I mean you know what you’re doing it’s
fine you’re busy right that guy you’re
dating he’s good enough for you but for
the people in this room baloney you know
that’s right you know exactly what you
want and the only thing that you need to
do is to admit now this may sound weird
because I know most of you came in here
because you’re like I know what I want
I’m your success it’s try to figure it
out I’m talking about something bigger
much bigger I’ll admit to you what it is
that I’m up to and the truth is it’s
embarrassing because when you lock on to
something way bigger than where you’re
at it is downright embarrassing to tell
people because you’re not there yet but
I mean in this rate I’ve already
admitted you that I stalked Martha Beck
and that I brought a haiku to the best
you know lineage in the country so I got
nothing to lose at this point so this is
what I want
well not him I’m married I want what
he’s got I want six hundred radio
stations I want two million listeners
and I could certainly deal with the four
hundred million dollar salary in fact if
I got it I’d renovate everybody’s
kitchen and you know the thing is though
that’s so interesting about this is that
I him I mean I’m not looking to become a
cigar smoking conservative political guy
that like serves the pot makes everybody
all bad I’m the liberal lifestyle gal
that’s trying to help people out but
what I want to do is I want to use radio
to entertain people and help them
achieve their dreams and when I really
think about it he’s the one that’s in
the front I want to not only reach what
he’s doing I want to surpass him I mean
do you think I like it when my friends
come over in my office in Boston at my
house and they’re like why does that guy
doing on your board no it’s embarrassing
when you miss a big thing that you’re up
to it’s embarrassing
I have 40 stations he’s got 600 there’s
a big gap so admitting where you want to
get to is embarrassing but you got to do
it
no Robins your media radio show make it
happen helps real gopis success you
actually say there are three red flags
we should look for that will actually
tell us it’s time to change big ones
whenever you start feeling in your life
like oh my gosh is this all there is
huge red flag number one number two when
you spend your energy being jealous or
having the grass is greener over there
another big wake-up call for you that
you’re ready for a change and then the
other final red flag is if you’re
spending your life waiting to be happy
I’ll be happy when I’ll be happy when I
get married I’ll be happy when I change
my job I’ll be happy when I watch a
business it’s time to change now because
that moments not coming unless you make
it come but how I know that I’m maybe
just not living in a fantasy land and
I’m never going to no matter where I am
the grass is always green a concept that
I always say this could be better than I
might be
making change for change sake but it
might not be really what I need Bologna
if you’re still saying Mac to yourself
over and over and over again and you’re
complaining it’s what you’re really good
at is ignoring your gut and so it’s time
to start tuning into your gut and making
some changes okay so if people see these
signs why don’t they make changes in I
mean what you just described is very
depressed and tell you that I can tell
you I the reason why they don’t make
changes is because what happens is you
say okay I want to do X and then
immediately what you see next are all
the obstacles and so you’re actually
smart you’re not necessarily afraid
you’re smart because you think how the
hell am I going to go from being a
lawyer to a carpenter when I have a
mortgage to pay I’ve got to ition bills
to go my wife is going to kill me if I
make this kind of change and so you get
stuck because you see obstacles and then
you never do anything those are very
real obstacles work is so how do I kind
of get past those obstacles very easy
let’s say I recognize the warning signal
step okay time to change danger Will
Robinson yep this is not the right path
but it does seem Herculean the hurdles
have to go horse
don’t put your job that’s number one
second thing is I think most change in
life is not about putting on a big cape
and jumping off a cliff or out of an
airplane it’s more like leaning into
something so if you find yourself
daydreaming about something or wishing
that you could change your life start
investigating start having conversations
about it and are leading into change
right you know I’ve heard a lot of
experts say that fear isn’t real that is
such a bunch of baloney fear is so real
in fact there are probably things that
you’re afraid of doing right now in your
life in your relationships at work and
the fact that you’re afraid that’s
robbing you of all of the experiences
that you want to have in your life I
mean if you’re afraid to fly that’s
going to limit your ability to travel
and see the world or go visit friends if
you’re afraid of public speaking that’s
going to really limit your ability to
express yourself and share your ideas if
you’re afraid of talking to your boss or
asking for a raise that directly impacts
how much money you make or what if you
are dreaming of starting a business or
you’ve already started a new business
but you’re afraid to talk to people and
you’re afraid to share your
business with people I think fear is
something that stops us all and that’s
why I’m here to talk to you because it
doesn’t have to fear is real but I am
going to share a secret weapon that I
have used for years to beat every single
fear that used to stop me now first
before we get into the secret weapon I
just want to cover a few facts about
fear what it is what it isn’t and some
things that you may not know about fear
so first thing fear is a physical state
in your body that is exactly the same as
excitement let me say that again
fear and excitement are the exact same
physical state your heart races
you might sweat a little bit you might
feel tightening in your chest you might
feel a pit in your stomach you have a
surge of cortisol it’s basically the way
that your body goes into a hyper aware
state because it’s readying for action
now what’s the difference between fear
and excitement really simple the only
difference between fear and excitement
is what your brain is doing as your body
is all agitated if you’re excited your
brain is going oh wow this is going to
be so cool to ride this roller coaster
if you’re afraid your brain is going Oh
throughout no way there’s no way I’m
doing that this is dangerous get out of
there don’t do that it’s saying
something different so what’s critical
about understanding this is that we’re
going to use the fact that your mind is
either working for you for excitement or
against you with fear to your advantage
I’ll tell you about it in just a minute
how you’re going to do that second thing
I want you to understand is that you may
have heard the advice feel the fear and
do it anyway you may have heard the
advice oh just try to calm down think
positive thoughts it doesn’t work does
it
and there’s a reason why it doesn’t work
so let’s go back to fact number one when
you’re afraid your body’s in a state of
arousal on agitation its heart is racing
and you’re all like amped up and you’re
hyper aware
or what’s going on and you’re freaking
out a little bit what is it like when
you’re calm you just kind of chill right
you got like this loo arousal state very
very difficult to go from a state of
agitation of being all jacked up and
excited and weirded out uh
to a kind of state it doesn’t work it’s
like trying to stop a train by throwing
a boulder on the track so it’s going to
make the train jump off the tracks it’s
going to cause a disaster in fact
they’ve proven in research that when you
try to ignore your fears it actually
makes them worse
they’ve also proven in research the
positive thinking alone also can make
your fears work worse so what do you do
what do you do when you’re about to go
talk to your boss and you feel afraid
what do you do when you have to get on a
plane and you’re actually terrified of
flying what do you do if you got to get
a presentation and you are afraid of
public speaking here’s what you’re going
to do you’re going to use a strategy the
same one that I use that has helped me
beat every single fear and turn me into
somebody that is terrific when it comes
to a high-stress situation this is how
you do it you’re going to use my
five-second rule in combination with
what I call an anchor thought and that
is going to reframe what your mind is
doing so that your mind goes from
feeling agitation and making you afraid
to reframing it from agitation to
excitement it works like magic now I
have used this technique for years
literally for years and one of the ways
that I want to introduce you to it is I
want to take you backstage I want to
take you backstage to a speech that I
delivered this year and what you’re
going to see is you’re going to see me
behind you know the major set I’m about
to walk out you can kind of hear the
crowd roaring my introductory video is
playing my body is in a state of arousal
I am literally my heart is racing my
arms are sweating like it’s like you’re
going to see this I’m going to tell you
about it and you’re going to watch me
use this same technique I’m going to
teach you to reframe
my nerves into excitement check this out
all right I’m about to go on stage there
are 7,000 people out there and it’s too
exciting because of what they don’t know
if they’re about to learn the
five-second rule in your lives will
never be the same again now I got to
tell you my heart is racing my armpits
are sweating I have the exact same
physiological feeling as what I’m afraid
but I’m not afraid I’m excited
excitement and fear is the exact same
thing in your body it’s just what your
brain calls it here’s a trick it’s
proven by science that I use every time
I speak when I start to sweat when I
start to have butterflies when I start
to have my heart race I say I’m excited
I’m excited to get out there I’m excited
to talk to you I’m excited to share of
the five-second rule and what that does
is it sends a message to my brain that
tells my brain why my bodies are
agitated and excited and that way I
don’t feel afraid remember excitement
and fear is that same thing in your body
the only difference is what your brain
cause now I want to give you one more
example just to make sure that you
really get how you can use this so a lot
of you have written to me about your
fear of fly and I can really relate to
that fear because I used to have the
exact same fear but I used this same
strategy to conquer it here’s how you’re
going to do it so first things first if
you’ve got to do something that really
makes you nervous or that you’re afraid
to do before you’re about to do it come
up with an anchor thought what’s an
anchor thought well an anchor thought is
something that’s going to anchor you so
that you don’t escalate any situation
into a full-blown panic attack or into a
situation where you screw things up it’s
a way for you to anchor yourself so you
maintain control over what you’re
thinking and how you behave so here’s an
example with flying it’s important when
you’re creating an anchor thought to
pick something that is in the proper
context of what you’re afraid to do so
for flying pick an anchor thought that
has to
do with the trip that you’re taking so
if I’m boarding a plane to fly back home
to Michigan an anchor thought might be a
picture in my mind of my mom and I
walking on the shores of Lake Michigan
where I grew up that’s a thought that
makes me happy it makes me excited and
it’s also related to the trip that I’m
taking if you have a conversation that
you need to have with your boss pick an
anchor thought about how you feel after
having that conversation maybe it’s you
picking up the phone and calling
somebody that you you love and saying oh
my gosh it went so well or you know you
walking out of the meeting and feeling
like yeah I survived that conversation I
feel pretty good about myself so now
that you have your anchor thought you’re
ready to beat the fear if you took money
off the table if you didn’t get what
anybody else thought what’s the thing
you would love to be doing with your
life seriously do you dream of being a
professional photographer you want to
open your own restaurant you always
thought about traveling the world and
entertaining kids with your juggling
skills I don’t know it’s your life you
get to choose what you want to do be
honest with yourself what is it that you
would want to do with your life if you
didn’t have to pay the bills doing it
another thing you can ask yourself who
do you find yourself sort of envious of
you know like you look at their life and
you just think gosh how awesome that
they get to do that well once you have
that answer for yourself you’ve gotten
really honest you push the Bulls aside
and you’ve really asked it for yourself
and answer the question honestly all you
got to do is explore it that’s it just
find one thing that you can do to enrich
and expand your knowledge about it find
one course online Google the topic stalk
people that are pursuing this line of
work that’s how you start to do it one
step of time so start with answering the
question what do you really want with a
massive dose of honesty Google the topic
and find one thing that you can do just
one push yourself and start to explore
if you were to wake up and do that every
single day spend
minutes a day you would be startled
astonished by what your life looks like
in a matter of a year or two what is the
biggest obstacle that we say Tiago it’s
simple it’s self-doubt it costs here
it’s not lack of money it’s not lack of
supporters it’s the fact that deep down
inside you will doubt yourself at
critical moments and here’s the problem
of self-doubt self-doubt doesn’t have to
stop you problem self-doubt is that the
second that you feel a little the second
thing you start to question yourself you
physically hesitate
that hesitation has become a habit that
stops you because the moment you have to
change it wakes up your brain your brain
starts blinking and then you hold
yourself back you guys now I talked
about the five-second rule incessantly
the title of the new book that I’m
writing that’s coming out in 2017
the five-second rule is a tool that
battles self-doubt because in those
moments those tiny micro moments when
you’re faced with should I do this or
should I not try and speak in a meeting
should I pull back my ideas should I
have this tough conversation or should I
wait till later
the second you doubt the option of
moving forward
then you think then you look left that’s
how it happens every single time that’s
how you sabotage your success that you
brought yourself with joy and habit of
hesitating the moment that you feel down
is killing your dreams
the single biggest obstacle in life here
without that you feel and the single
biggest change that you’re making is
that you communicate
did you start to use with my second role
in those moments to just physically move
work within five seconds feeling that
down
I need a volunteer coming up hi house
care to you right now 12:15 earthers on
a scale of ten yes
so you’re perfect okay so I have an
envelope you can either open this up and
read what it says but you have to do it
how afraid are you for her or you can
give it to somebody else
now what are you managing right now my
heart rate is just like out there what
do you want to do life’s about change so
I’ll open it okay come on Mel give her a
standing ovation she deserves
go ahead same rules open it up read it
to the audience and then do what it says
how scared are you oh I’m a little
nervous because I’m not sure what you’re
going to want me to do I’m shy oh really
that’s baloney
tell everyone in the audience the most
embarrassing things ever I would do all
right how scared are you less children
speaking at the next conference you
watch yes I will place that’s just
paying for your registration and three
my hotels overwhelmed joy does the peace
they think that can come with really
cheesy change thank you guys so much for
watching I really hope you enjoyed this
video if there’s someone you like with a
profile in the next top ten check out
the link in the description and go and
cast your vote I’d also love to know
what was your favorite message from this
video what did you learn from this video
that you’re going to immediately apply
somehow in your life or in your business
please leave it down the comments below
I’m really curious to find out I also
want to give a quick shout to teach you
lay now scrub Scott thank you so much
for picking up a copy of my book your
one word and doing that awesome review
and interview on your YouTube channel
talking about it I really appreciate the
support and I’m so glad that you enjoyed
the book Evan Carmichael also the author
of the book you’re one word that has
been published just a couple of months
ago so thank you guys again for watching
I believe in you I hope you continue to
believe in yourself and whatever your
one word is much love I’ll see you soon
of your thoughts there’s a super tight
connection between happiness and the
ability to live in the present moment
whenever you start feeling in your life
like oh my gosh is this all there is
huge red flag number one you know I’ve
heard a lot of experts say that fear
isn’t real that is such a bunch of
baloney fear is so real posterity left
children speaking at the next conference
you watch
hello believe nation I’m Evan Carmichael
my one word is believe and I believe
that entrepreneurs are going to solve
all of the world’s major problems so to
help you on your journey today we’re
going to learn from TV host author and
speaker Mel Robbins and my take on our
top ten rules of success volume 2 rule
number one is my personal favorite and
I’d love to know which one you guys like
the best and as always as you’re
listening if something really resonates
with you is a message that really holds
true to you please leave it down the
comments below and put it in quotes so
that other people can be inspired and
when you write it down it’s much more
likely to stick with yourself as well
enjoy
drive
that’s this puppy right here this is
what you want this is your prefrontal
cortex Drive is the mode where you’re in
charge of your thoughts okay it’s where
you are fully awake you are present and
you are driving your thoughts and
actions when you’re doing that your
prefrontal cortex is active the
prefrontal cortex is the part of the
brain that you need in order to learn
new behavior in order to do something
difficult in order to do something
uncertain in order to do strategic
thinking so I’m going to give you an
example so I’m a righty
if I were to try to write with my left
hand like you
Louis is kind of short for me and tie my
hand behind my back and makes me like do
this I could do it it would look like I
was writing with my foot and if Lewis
came up to me and said hey Mel you want
some bulletproof coffee I’d be like
Louis under I’m trying to concentrate I
can’t do this my prefrontal cortex would
be el fuego because it is firing on all
cylinders to communicate to my hand new
behavior so the thing that’s cool about
that is that you can use a simple trick
the moment you feel yourself hesitate
the moment you’ve got one of those
moments where you know that you need to
this is that moment that Luce talks to
you about where you’ve got to step
outside of your comfort zone and you’ve
got to lean into your passion and you’ve
got to really take some risks and you’ve
got to feel the fear and you got to do
it anyway that’s the moment where you
just woke up and now you got a decision
to make are you going to drift back into
the habits or are you going to awaken
your prefrontal cortex and drive forward
and focus and do something new get up 30
minutes earlier than you normally do and
push yourself to work on the most
important priorities first this isn’t
just me research shows that your most
productive hours are the first two to
three hours after you wake up and get
ready this means that for peak
productivity you’ve got to do whatever
you can do to make sure the most
important work to you gets done first
during that window of time if you’re
living in the past you’re going to be
depressed because you are rehashing
things that happen to you that are not
going to happen again if you’re living
in the future you’re going to be anxious
because you are anticipating what’s
coming or you’re wishing for things that
aren’t happening yet being in the
present is where the gold is being in
the present moment is where you will
have the greatest control where you will
feel the most at ease and where
happiness flourishes there’s a super
tight connection between happiness and
the ability to live in the present
moment a lot of people believe that
happiness is tied to the things that
happen to you not so at all in fact
there is a professor of positive
psychology he’s one of the grandfather’s
of the movement he teaches at the
University of Pennsylvania his name is
Martin settlement and he studied
happiness for decades now one of the
things that we’ve talked about a lot is
that 40% of your happiness levels are
preset by genetics 60% you are in
complete control of and one of the
things that this professor has has
discovered is that it doesn’t matter
what’s happened to you in fact some of
the people that have had the worst
things the worst things happen to them
like people that have survived the
Holocaust are actually the happiest and
most grateful people in the world
happiness comes down to this right up
here comes down to your thoughts comes
down to your mindset it comes down to
your attitude and you are 100% control
of what you’re thinking you may not be
in control of how you feel in the moment
but you can always always always always
be in control of what you think and that
will change how you’re feeling one of
the most powerful things that you can do
in terms of think and this gets back to
strict question is how do you be present
being present is literally nothing more
than the skill of having your thoughts
be in this moment not in the past not
the future but right here the way that
you teach yourself how to do that
is that the moment that you catch
yourself being distracted the moment you
catch yourself starting to worry the
moment you catch yourself drifting to
the future drifting to the past that’s a
moment of tremendous power because you
basically just woke up
you basically just notice that you’re
not here in this particular moment so
use that wake-up call 5 4 3 2 1 and
ground yourself in this moment the best
way to ground yourself in the moment is
to look for something in this particular
moment that you can savor I’m using the
word savor on purpose because it’s the
word that psychologists use to describe
what happens when you find something in
this moment right now right here right
now to focus on and to appreciate it
could be literally the questions these
are these are printed out questions from
people on social media and if I were to
stop and look at these and savor them
what I would feel in this moment is a
tremendous amount of gratitude because
people are taking the time to write and
that makes me feel incredibly grateful
and it also makes me very happy because
it means that that the folks that are
writing are taking control of their
lives and seeking out the information
that they need another form of savoring
that we can all relate to is eating as
you’re eating instead of drifting to the
future and thinking about all the things
that you need to do or hanging out in
the past and rehashing everything that’s
happened during the day be in this
moment in this meal slow down
think about the food that you’re eating
think about the people that you’re
sitting with and how you feel about them
and if you want to take it up a notch
actually smell which are famous food
tastes amazing thank you for cooking or
I’m so glad to see you and that we get
the time to have this meal together
those small simple acts of savoring are
how you expand your happiness inside the
present moment so how do you be more
present simple the moment that you catch
yourself in the future in the past
worrying whatever refocus yourself right
here right now and then find something
right here
right now that you can savor and when
you do that you’re not only going to be
present you’re going to feel more
grateful and you’re going to feel a
little deuce to happiness I think the
two things that are the most important
things that you can focus on that are
priorities for you that will advance
your long-term goals so just pick two
priorities a day whenever you have some
spare time or you’ve got some wiggle
room and you’re scheduled that’s when
you force yourself to sit down and work
on those two priorities for the day
because here’s the truth about it to-do
list
eventually that crap will get done and
typically what we do all day long is
we’re usually putting out fires we’re
responding to emails we’re sitting in
meetings that other people have called
and our days get filled doing things for
other people so what I want you to do is
I want you to start thinking about every
single day what are two things that are
priorities for you and then find time
whenever you can even if it’s just 10
minutes to sit down and work on them I
want you to start seeing something
bigger I know you’re all successful I’m
talking about something really big for
your life and in order to do that you
have to answer this question what do you
really want now I’m not talking about
something small I’m not talking about a
little haiku I’m not talking about
renovating your kitchen I’m not talking
about signing on 10 new customers this
month I’m talking about what you really
want you know three years ago I was a
lawyer and a business
coach working with private clients and
big corporations all over the country
and I came to a seminar just like this
was a big leadership seminar and I went
there with my husband were both business
owners and I went because I wanted to be
more successful and I went because I
wanted to make even more money than I
already did and I’m sitting exactly
where you are in fact I was sitting
about 15 rows back right where that
woman with her hand on her hanging like
yet you know she’s like hi I was sitting
and I was taking notes and I’m like okay
I’m here to make more money and then all
of a sudden she walked on stage that is
Martha Beck she writes a column for
Oprah Winfrey she travels around the
country speaking she’s a best-selling
author and when she walked on stage I
literally stopped listening please keep
listening to me right now and it hits me
I said I want to be doing that I’m ready
for a bigger State with that’s it and
what’s so interesting about when you
answer that question is that you don’t
answer it up here you answer it here
that’s how you see something bigger for
yourself you know you guys are really
cute because everybody is like I don’t
see it what do you I don’t see anything
for myself right I and now I’m just
confused I thought I knew what I wanted
you know and now Ella I’m not really
sure and right now the economy is so bad
I mean it’s so bad that even if you’re
successful I know sometimes I feel
embarrassed talking about my success
around some of my friends because I know
that they’re really struggling and I get
calls every day into the radio show
people saying oh I’ve got this great
idea but I just don’t know if it’s the
right time and you know I say to them I
say yeah you know you’re right the
recession it’s if you should wait those
dreams yeah put them on hold that’s
right you you should you should stay in
the job you can’t stand just a little
bit long being at college bills to pay
I mean you know what you’re doing it’s
fine you’re busy right that guy you’re
dating he’s good enough for you but for
the people in this room baloney you know
that’s right you know exactly what you
want and the only thing that you need to
do is to admit now this may sound weird
because I know most of you came in here
because you’re like I know what I want
I’m your success it’s try to figure it
out I’m talking about something bigger
much bigger I’ll admit to you what it is
that I’m up to and the truth is it’s
embarrassing because when you lock on to
something way bigger than where you’re
at it is downright embarrassing to tell
people because you’re not there yet but
I mean in this rate I’ve already
admitted you that I stalked Martha Beck
and that I brought a haiku to the best
you know lineage in the country so I got
nothing to lose at this point so this is
what I want
well not him I’m married I want what
he’s got I want six hundred radio
stations I want two million listeners
and I could certainly deal with the four
hundred million dollar salary in fact if
I got it I’d renovate everybody’s
kitchen and you know the thing is though
that’s so interesting about this is that
I him I mean I’m not looking to become a
cigar smoking conservative political guy
that like serves the pot makes everybody
all bad I’m the liberal lifestyle gal
that’s trying to help people out but
what I want to do is I want to use radio
to entertain people and help them
achieve their dreams and when I really
think about it he’s the one that’s in
the front I want to not only reach what
he’s doing I want to surpass him I mean
do you think I like it when my friends
come over in my office in Boston at my
house and they’re like why does that guy
doing on your board no it’s embarrassing
when you miss a big thing that you’re up
to it’s embarrassing
I have 40 stations he’s got 600 there’s
a big gap so admitting where you want to
get to is embarrassing but you got to do
it
no Robins your media radio show make it
happen helps real gopis success you
actually say there are three red flags
we should look for that will actually
tell us it’s time to change big ones
whenever you start feeling in your life
like oh my gosh is this all there is
huge red flag number one number two when
you spend your energy being jealous or
having the grass is greener over there
another big wake-up call for you that
you’re ready for a change and then the
other final red flag is if you’re
spending your life waiting to be happy
I’ll be happy when I’ll be happy when I
get married I’ll be happy when I change
my job I’ll be happy when I watch a
business it’s time to change now because
that moments not coming unless you make
it come but how I know that I’m maybe
just not living in a fantasy land and
I’m never going to no matter where I am
the grass is always green a concept that
I always say this could be better than I
might be
making change for change sake but it
might not be really what I need Bologna
if you’re still saying Mac to yourself
over and over and over again and you’re
complaining it’s what you’re really good
at is ignoring your gut and so it’s time
to start tuning into your gut and making
some changes okay so if people see these
signs why don’t they make changes in I
mean what you just described is very
depressed and tell you that I can tell
you I the reason why they don’t make
changes is because what happens is you
say okay I want to do X and then
immediately what you see next are all
the obstacles and so you’re actually
smart you’re not necessarily afraid
you’re smart because you think how the
hell am I going to go from being a
lawyer to a carpenter when I have a
mortgage to pay I’ve got to ition bills
to go my wife is going to kill me if I
make this kind of change and so you get
stuck because you see obstacles and then
you never do anything those are very
real obstacles work is so how do I kind
of get past those obstacles very easy
let’s say I recognize the warning signal
step okay time to change danger Will
Robinson yep this is not the right path
but it does seem Herculean the hurdles
have to go horse
don’t put your job that’s number one
second thing is I think most change in
life is not about putting on a big cape
and jumping off a cliff or out of an
airplane it’s more like leaning into
something so if you find yourself
daydreaming about something or wishing
that you could change your life start
investigating start having conversations
about it and are leading into change
right you know I’ve heard a lot of
experts say that fear isn’t real that is
such a bunch of baloney fear is so real
in fact there are probably things that
you’re afraid of doing right now in your
life in your relationships at work and
the fact that you’re afraid that’s
robbing you of all of the experiences
that you want to have in your life I
mean if you’re afraid to fly that’s
going to limit your ability to travel
and see the world or go visit friends if
you’re afraid of public speaking that’s
going to really limit your ability to
express yourself and share your ideas if
you’re afraid of talking to your boss or
asking for a raise that directly impacts
how much money you make or what if you
are dreaming of starting a business or
you’ve already started a new business
but you’re afraid to talk to people and
you’re afraid to share your
business with people I think fear is
something that stops us all and that’s
why I’m here to talk to you because it
doesn’t have to fear is real but I am
going to share a secret weapon that I
have used for years to beat every single
fear that used to stop me now first
before we get into the secret weapon I
just want to cover a few facts about
fear what it is what it isn’t and some
things that you may not know about fear
so first thing fear is a physical state
in your body that is exactly the same as
excitement let me say that again
fear and excitement are the exact same
physical state your heart races
you might sweat a little bit you might
feel tightening in your chest you might
feel a pit in your stomach you have a
surge of cortisol it’s basically the way
that your body goes into a hyper aware
state because it’s readying for action
now what’s the difference between fear
and excitement really simple the only
difference between fear and excitement
is what your brain is doing as your body
is all agitated if you’re excited your
brain is going oh wow this is going to
be so cool to ride this roller coaster
if you’re afraid your brain is going Oh
throughout no way there’s no way I’m
doing that this is dangerous get out of
there don’t do that it’s saying
something different so what’s critical
about understanding this is that we’re
going to use the fact that your mind is
either working for you for excitement or
against you with fear to your advantage
I’ll tell you about it in just a minute
how you’re going to do that second thing
I want you to understand is that you may
have heard the advice feel the fear and
do it anyway you may have heard the
advice oh just try to calm down think
positive thoughts it doesn’t work does
it
and there’s a reason why it doesn’t work
so let’s go back to fact number one when
you’re afraid your body’s in a state of
arousal on agitation its heart is racing
and you’re all like amped up and you’re
hyper aware
or what’s going on and you’re freaking
out a little bit what is it like when
you’re calm you just kind of chill right
you got like this loo arousal state very
very difficult to go from a state of
agitation of being all jacked up and
excited and weirded out uh
to a kind of state it doesn’t work it’s
like trying to stop a train by throwing
a boulder on the track so it’s going to
make the train jump off the tracks it’s
going to cause a disaster in fact
they’ve proven in research that when you
try to ignore your fears it actually
makes them worse
they’ve also proven in research the
positive thinking alone also can make
your fears work worse so what do you do
what do you do when you’re about to go
talk to your boss and you feel afraid
what do you do when you have to get on a
plane and you’re actually terrified of
flying what do you do if you got to get
a presentation and you are afraid of
public speaking here’s what you’re going
to do you’re going to use a strategy the
same one that I use that has helped me
beat every single fear and turn me into
somebody that is terrific when it comes
to a high-stress situation this is how
you do it you’re going to use my
five-second rule in combination with
what I call an anchor thought and that
is going to reframe what your mind is
doing so that your mind goes from
feeling agitation and making you afraid
to reframing it from agitation to
excitement it works like magic now I
have used this technique for years
literally for years and one of the ways
that I want to introduce you to it is I
want to take you backstage I want to
take you backstage to a speech that I
delivered this year and what you’re
going to see is you’re going to see me
behind you know the major set I’m about
to walk out you can kind of hear the
crowd roaring my introductory video is
playing my body is in a state of arousal
I am literally my heart is racing my
arms are sweating like it’s like you’re
going to see this I’m going to tell you
about it and you’re going to watch me
use this same technique I’m going to
teach you to reframe
my nerves into excitement check this out
all right I’m about to go on stage there
are 7,000 people out there and it’s too
exciting because of what they don’t know
if they’re about to learn the
five-second rule in your lives will
never be the same again now I got to
tell you my heart is racing my armpits
are sweating I have the exact same
physiological feeling as what I’m afraid
but I’m not afraid I’m excited
excitement and fear is the exact same
thing in your body it’s just what your
brain calls it here’s a trick it’s
proven by science that I use every time
I speak when I start to sweat when I
start to have butterflies when I start
to have my heart race I say I’m excited
I’m excited to get out there I’m excited
to talk to you I’m excited to share of
the five-second rule and what that does
is it sends a message to my brain that
tells my brain why my bodies are
agitated and excited and that way I
don’t feel afraid remember excitement
and fear is that same thing in your body
the only difference is what your brain
cause now I want to give you one more
example just to make sure that you
really get how you can use this so a lot
of you have written to me about your
fear of fly and I can really relate to
that fear because I used to have the
exact same fear but I used this same
strategy to conquer it here’s how you’re
going to do it so first things first if
you’ve got to do something that really
makes you nervous or that you’re afraid
to do before you’re about to do it come
up with an anchor thought what’s an
anchor thought well an anchor thought is
something that’s going to anchor you so
that you don’t escalate any situation
into a full-blown panic attack or into a
situation where you screw things up it’s
a way for you to anchor yourself so you
maintain control over what you’re
thinking and how you behave so here’s an
example with flying it’s important when
you’re creating an anchor thought to
pick something that is in the proper
context of what you’re afraid to do so
for flying pick an anchor thought that
has to
do with the trip that you’re taking so
if I’m boarding a plane to fly back home
to Michigan an anchor thought might be a
picture in my mind of my mom and I
walking on the shores of Lake Michigan
where I grew up that’s a thought that
makes me happy it makes me excited and
it’s also related to the trip that I’m
taking if you have a conversation that
you need to have with your boss pick an
anchor thought about how you feel after
having that conversation maybe it’s you
picking up the phone and calling
somebody that you you love and saying oh
my gosh it went so well or you know you
walking out of the meeting and feeling
like yeah I survived that conversation I
feel pretty good about myself so now
that you have your anchor thought you’re
ready to beat the fear if you took money
off the table if you didn’t get what
anybody else thought what’s the thing
you would love to be doing with your
life seriously do you dream of being a
professional photographer you want to
open your own restaurant you always
thought about traveling the world and
entertaining kids with your juggling
skills I don’t know it’s your life you
get to choose what you want to do be
honest with yourself what is it that you
would want to do with your life if you
didn’t have to pay the bills doing it
another thing you can ask yourself who
do you find yourself sort of envious of
you know like you look at their life and
you just think gosh how awesome that
they get to do that well once you have
that answer for yourself you’ve gotten
really honest you push the Bulls aside
and you’ve really asked it for yourself
and answer the question honestly all you
got to do is explore it that’s it just
find one thing that you can do to enrich
and expand your knowledge about it find
one course online Google the topic stalk
people that are pursuing this line of
work that’s how you start to do it one
step of time so start with answering the
question what do you really want with a
massive dose of honesty Google the topic
and find one thing that you can do just
one push yourself and start to explore
if you were to wake up and do that every
single day spend
minutes a day you would be startled
astonished by what your life looks like
in a matter of a year or two what is the
biggest obstacle that we say Tiago it’s
simple it’s self-doubt it costs here
it’s not lack of money it’s not lack of
supporters it’s the fact that deep down
inside you will doubt yourself at
critical moments and here’s the problem
of self-doubt self-doubt doesn’t have to
stop you problem self-doubt is that the
second that you feel a little the second
thing you start to question yourself you
physically hesitate
that hesitation has become a habit that
stops you because the moment you have to
change it wakes up your brain your brain
starts blinking and then you hold
yourself back you guys now I talked
about the five-second rule incessantly
the title of the new book that I’m
writing that’s coming out in 2017
the five-second rule is a tool that
battles self-doubt because in those
moments those tiny micro moments when
you’re faced with should I do this or
should I not try and speak in a meeting
should I pull back my ideas should I
have this tough conversation or should I
wait till later
the second you doubt the option of
moving forward
then you think then you look left that’s
how it happens every single time that’s
how you sabotage your success that you
brought yourself with joy and habit of
hesitating the moment that you feel down
is killing your dreams
the single biggest obstacle in life here
without that you feel and the single
biggest change that you’re making is
that you communicate
did you start to use with my second role
in those moments to just physically move
work within five seconds feeling that
down
I need a volunteer coming up hi house
care to you right now 12:15 earthers on
a scale of ten yes
so you’re perfect okay so I have an
envelope you can either open this up and
read what it says but you have to do it
how afraid are you for her or you can
give it to somebody else
now what are you managing right now my
heart rate is just like out there what
do you want to do life’s about change so
I’ll open it okay come on Mel give her a
standing ovation she deserves
go ahead same rules open it up read it
to the audience and then do what it says
how scared are you oh I’m a little
nervous because I’m not sure what you’re
going to want me to do I’m shy oh really
that’s baloney
tell everyone in the audience the most
embarrassing things ever I would do all
right how scared are you less children
speaking at the next conference you
watch yes I will place that’s just
paying for your registration and three
my hotels overwhelmed joy does the peace
they think that can come with really
cheesy change thank you guys so much for
watching I really hope you enjoyed this
video if there’s someone you like with a
profile in the next top ten check out
the link in the description and go and
cast your vote I’d also love to know
what was your favorite message from this
video what did you learn from this video
that you’re going to immediately apply
somehow in your life or in your business
please leave it down the comments below
I’m really curious to find out I also
want to give a quick shout to teach you
lay now scrub Scott thank you so much
for picking up a copy of my book your
one word and doing that awesome review
and interview on your YouTube channel
talking about it I really appreciate the
support and I’m so glad that you enjoyed
the book Evan Carmichael also the author
of the book you’re one word that has
been published just a couple of months
ago so thank you guys again for watching
I believe in you I hope you continue to
believe in yourself and whatever your
one word is much love I’ll see you soon
Please follow and like us: