I think it’s both exciting and
depressing that messages like mine have
an audience you know I talk about really
simple things like how to be fulfilled
you know and like how to do things that
inspire us and how to work for a company
that sort of gets the best out of us and
makes us feel good while they’re doing
it and and you know it’s kind of
upsetting that people are even wanting
to hear that meaning that there’s a
demand for it but it also presents the
most remarkable opportunity in the world
which means there’s an opportunity for
us to change the way work is done so
that all of those things are not the
exception but rather the rule you know
it’s it’s it is the exception when
somebody says I love my job
you know so you meet somebody at a bar
is like what do you do I love my job
oh you’re so lucky right it’s like that
that should be something special is
remarkable and so the amazing thing is
is that ability to say I love my job I
love what I do
is actually not that complicated to find
and not ironically it has nothing to do
with the work that we do it has
everything to do with the people with
whom we work and you don’t even have to
like the people with whom you work
that’s the most amazing thing of all if
you think about it in the military there
are people who are willing to risk their
lives for people they don’t even like we
don’t even like to give a credit for
things you know so what is it that
creates an environment in which people
care about each other so much that they
would risk their lives for people that
they don’t even like right sometimes
this is remarkable human beings in all
their complexity and all of the nonsense
and all the messiness
what drives us is kinda simple and this
is what I like to research and learn
about and write about which is if you
understand the very basic mechanics of
this machine called the human being
it’s becomes fairly obvious as to what
conditions in which the machine will
perform well and in what conditions the
machine will not perform very simply our
machine is a social machine
we are social animals and we respond to
the environment we’re in that good
people are capable of doing very bad
things if they’re in the wrong
environment and people who society may
have given up on if you put them in the
right environment are capable of
performing remarkable remarkable things
this is the job of leadership which is
to make that environment the leader sets
the tone and the tone that is set will
determine how we respond according and
again we are relatively simple in our
motivations if you go back to the
Paleolithic era when Homo Sapien first
stepped foot on the planet about 50,000
years ago there were other hominid
species that existed at the same time
but we were the ones that survived they
died we weren’t necessarily the
strongest we weren’t necessarily the
fastest and yet we’ve done quite well
look at this remarkable world that we’ve
built one of the huge advantages we had
and have is that we are social animals
and things like trust and cooperation
are absolutely essential for our
survival they’re not just nice ideas
they’re absolutely essential you can
imagine why when we existed when we
lived in populations that never really
got bigger than about a hundred and
fifty people for forty thousand of the
fifty thousand years we’ve been on this
planet we never lived in populations
bigger than 150 people
I understand scale presents some
inherent problems but you can you can
understand the benefits of the group
living what it meant was I could fall
asleep at night and trust that someone
in my tribe would watch for danger if I
didn’t trust the people in my tribe I
couldn’t go to sleep and this is not a
very good system for survival or
performing
or anything any other metric it’s the
same at work when we work with people
with whom we trust I don’t need to
double-check your work I don’t need to
see it before it goes out to you no I
don’t need you don’t need my approval
right when we have trust we can let
people go do their work and even if
they’re subordinate we don’t need to
double-check or approve or anything
things will happen because we trust them
because we all have each other’s backs
we all have each other’s interests in
mind the problem with things like trust
and cooperation is that they are not
instructions
I can’t simply tell you trust me you
can’t simply ask people to trust you in
your advertising and you can’t simply
tell people I want you two to cooperate
trust and cooperation are feelings and
this is the problem so the question is
where are those feelings come from now
again we are basic pretty simple in in
our motivation in our constructions you
can imagine what life what color should
I use you can imagine what life must
have been like in these Paleolithic
times it was a world filled with danger
all of these forces working extremely
hard to kill us whether it was the
weather or lack of resources
saber-toothed tiger nothing personal but
all of these forces were working
together to end our lives and so as
tribal animals we work together and
lived and worked amongst people around
whom we felt safe
we felt like we belonged and when we
felt safe amongst the people with whom
we lived and work the natural human
response is trust in cooperation it’s
just what happens when we do not feel
safe amongst the people with whom we
work however the natural human
inclination is cynicism paranoia
mistrust and self-interest when we do
not feel safe amongst the people with
whom we work if our leaders do not make
us feel safe we have no choice but to
spend our own time in our own energy to
protect ourselves from each other when
we do not fear each other we naturally
work together to face the dangers and
seize the opportunities it’s the exact
same thing in our modern business world
there are forces that are a constant and
beyond our control that are working to
kill you right maybe I’m exaggerating
but there are forces outside things like
the uncertainty of an economy the ups
and downs of a stock market a new
technology that might render a business
model obsolete overnight your
competition that sometimes is trying to
kill you it’s trying to destroy that
product to put you out of business but
at the very minimum is trying to
frustrate your growth and steal your
customers these forces are a constant
and you have no control over them and
never will the only variable are the
conditions inside the organization and
when those conditions are set in a
manner that allows us to feel like we
can trust and cooperate we do this is
what leaders are supposed to do there is
an exact definition of leadership and it
is not my opinion you know I I I love
all the books that come out and all the
articles what makes a great leader what
are the five things you need to be a
leader you need charisma you need vision
you know all of these things I can tell
you right now those things are sometimes
useful but they’re not essential
not everyone has vision does that mean
they’re they’re not allowed to be
leaders you know some people have
remarkable charisma and some people
don’t does that mean they will never
lead of course it’s all nonsense you
can’t manufacture these things some
people are good strategic thinkers and
some people are not some people are just
naturally good at basketball and some
people are not there are skills you can
get better at them for sure but you’re
either a visionary or not these are not
things that we can manufacture in other
words they’re not essential components
for leadership there’s only one
characteristic that I’m comfortable
saying that all leaders must have to
become leaders and that’s courage
because leadership is hard and it often
requires sacrifice and the the that it
will happen that you will have to put
your interests your comforts your
advantages aside so that others may gain
and that sometimes really hard in fact
standing up for others may mean that you
might get your head chopped off you know
a leader sometimes loses
job because they did the right thing
right that comes with significant risk
the choice to be a leader comes at
significant risk and this is why not
everyone chooses to be a leader
leadership has nothing to do with rank
it has nothing to do with the title you
have on your card leadership is a choice
that’s it I know many many people who
sit in the senior echelons of a
corporation and they are not leaders
they are authorities and they have
authority and we do what they say
because they have authority over us but
we would not follow them I know many
people who sit at the bottom of
organizations who have no authority but
they are absolutely leaders and the
reason they’re leaders is because they
have made a choice they have chosen to
look after the person to the left of
them and they have chosen to look after
the person to the right of them it
doesn’t always mean they have to
sacrifice their interests but when it
really counts sometimes they choose to
sacrifice their interests because it’s
in the interest of the person to the
left and to the right of them this is
the role of leaders is not an accident
either it’s built into our anthropology
it’s part of our survival the reason we
have hierarchy and we have leaders for
those times when we lived in these
austere conditions we had a little bit
of a problem it’s a very practical
problem it wasn’t necessarily enough
food to go around all the time you
didn’t miss as we didn’t have
supermarkets and cars we just go get
milk sometimes there was food readily
available and sometimes not which meant
it someone brought home some food and
we’re living in a population of up to a
hundred and fifty we would all Russian
tea because we’re all hungry and if you
were lucky enough to be built like a
football player you could shove your way
to the front of the line if you were the
artist of the family you would get an
elbow in the face this is not a good
system for cooperation it’s not a good
system for survival because the odds are
that if I got punched in the face this
afternoon I’m not gonna wake the guy if
I see danger bad system and so we
evolved into these hierarchical animals
we are constantly assessing and judging
each other
whose alpha whose beta we are naturally
hierarchical and we always organize
ourselves in hierarchies so even in
meetings we go to meeting like
everybody’s equal I want you guys to
work together it’s not going to happen
we are never equals we always assess we
always judge we always allow some others
some difference in the role of
leadership and some of us defer and sort
of take a more subordinate role it
always happens not necessarily a bad
thing and again the reasons are very
practical based on our history because
what would happen was when we would
assess someone as our alpha and let me
be clear your capacity to be an alpha in
any population is not an absolute it is
relative to the population you’re in so
you might be a technologist or an
engineer and you might think you’re the
hottest best most fantastic engineer and
so does everybody else and you walk
around like this and you go take a dance
class all of a sudden you egos not so
big anymore right we’ve all had the
experience right we’ve all had the
experience where we shake someone’s hand
and we’re nervous
you’re not the album you know or when we
consents with someone’s nervous meeting
us you’re the author right it’s it’s a
relative scale so when we assess that
someone in the population is our is
alpha we voluntarily step back and allow
them first choice of meat and first
choice of may we let them eat first we
may not get the best choice of meat but
we will eat eventually and we didn’t
have to get an elbow in the face to get
that food good system to this day we are
very comfortable with paying deference
and offering advantages to those more
senior than us there’s not a single
person in this room zero that has a
problem with somebody more senior than
you at the company making more money
than you as a salary my having a bigger
salary than you doesn’t bother you at
all you might think they’re an idiot but
it doesn’t actually bother you that they
make more money than you because they
outrank you no issue it doesn’t bother
us at all that somebody more senior than
us has a bigger office or a better
parking space it is of no issue
whatsoever in fact we very often find
ourselves deferring to our alphas doing
nice things for our foes we open doors
for them and call them sir and ma’am and
get them tea and they didn’t even ask I
can promise you that if as you were
walking out of this room if Steven
Spielberg happened to walked in walk in
you would hold the door open for him and
then you would go home and tell your
spouse or your boyfriend your girlfriend
you’ll never believe what happened today
I held the door open for Steven
Spielberg how come you don’t advertise
when you hold the door open for anybody
else it’s because we’re proud to
sometimes do menial labor for those who
we perceive as alphas in our system
we’re proud to work for the groups that
they lead and the organizations that
they lead by the way you can’t lead a
company you can run a company you can
only lead people and so this whole idea
of deference and how we always defer
instead of volunteer to these alphas is
a natural human response and it’s a
survival instinct and it’s all about
this and that’s the point
none of those perks that you get for
being the leader for being the alpha
none of them come free they come at a
very high expense you see the group is
not dumb we expect
that the person who’s better fed the
person who’s actually stronger or
smarter than us the person who has a
higher self-confidence has more
self-confidence because of all our our
love and deference in hello sir and
hello mmm and actually boost their
self-confidence
we expect that this more confidence
stronger better fed person when danger
threatens the tribe we expect them to
rush towards the danger to protect us
that’s the cost of leadership that’s why
we gave you first choice of mate because
you might die and we want to keep your
genes in the gene pool we’re not stupid
and this is what it means to be a leader
the willingness to rush towards the
danger to protect those in your care it
is a choice you don’t have to be a
leader it is a choice if you don’t like
the costs of leadership you may not
accept the perks of leadership because
they do not come for free this is the
reason why we are so viscerally offended
by some of the banking CEOs have these
disproportionate salaries and bonus
structures it’s not the money that
offends us it’s that we know deep inside
us that they have violated the very
definition of what it means to be a
leader they have accepted all of the
perks and bonuses and benefits of being
the leader and yet they’re not willing
to make any of the sacrifices for the
role that they have accepted in other
words we know that they allowed their
people to be sacrificed for them to keep
their bonuses and perks and advantages
worse sometimes they chose to sacrifice
their people to protect their bonuses
and their perks this is what so offends
us it’s not the money if I told you
we’re going to give a hundred and fifty
million dollar bonus to Nelson Mandela
does anyone have a problem with that no
how about a two hundred and fifty
million dollar bonus to mother Teresa
got an issue with that
it’s not the money it’s not the money
it’s that leadership is a choice and in
our modern day and age unfortunately
many of the people who like to call
themselves leaders are not leaders at
all
they are authorities that’s all they are
and we have to do what they say because
they have authority over us but we would
not follow them and this is a problem
because when we do not feel that they
have our backs we do not feel safe work
inside their organizations they force us
to spend our time and our energy to
protect ourselves from them and the
organization itself suffers it’s what
happens it’s ironic to me that
organizations like your own who want to
drive innovation and ideas and new ways
of thinking would in the same breath lay
people off because they didn’t make the
numbers in one year you do realize that
those two concepts are completely
counterproductive it’s like talking to a
CEO and I ask what are your priorities
they say we have two priorities
innovation and efficiency not possible
there is nothing efficient about
innovation try fail try fail try fail
try fail try fail try fail succeed not
efficient it takes so you throw money to
try things out you can be innovative or
you can be efficient you can be
efficient in hope for innovation and you
can be innovative and hope for
efficiency there’s always gonna be one
subordinate to the other not bad not
better or worse but let’s not kid
ourselves and think that they can be
equal grounds they cannot it is
impossible but worse an organization
that claims or hopes or desires or
aspires to be innovative must at every
expense commit themselves to the safety
of their people because only when we
feel safe and protected will we
voluntarily commit ourselves the support
of each other and the advancement of the
here are just a few great leaders would
never sacrifice the numbers would never
sacrifice the people to save the numbers
great leaders would sacrifice the
numbers to save the people and so when
we live in a day and age where our
leaders are so comfortable sending you
home to tell your spouse and your kids
I’m sorry I no longer have an income
because the company had to make its
numbers for the year forget about the
people who lost their jobs what about
the people who didn’t get laid off
how inspire do you think they feel to
come back to work every day how do you
how safe do you think they feel do you
think we’re gonna give our best knowing
at the next time if the company doesn’t
make its numbers by the way which may or
may not have anything to do with us
remember all of those outside dangers
the ups and downs of technologies the
ups and downs of stock markets the ups
and downs of economies do you think when
you have a bad year you set your
children down and say kids it’s been a
bad year we have to get rid of one of
you or worse or worse
I got to keep my Mercedes and so it’s
either you or the car and we picked you
right
no we tighten the belt we work together
we figure out ways to make it happen to
see it through the hard times we cannot
judge the quality of a crew based on how
they perform in good times we judge a
quality of the crew by how they perform
in rough waters and unfortunately we
throw our crew overboard when we hit
rough waters what makes them want to
commit to see the ships make it through
the rough waters what they do is they
sit down and watch their own backs
because nobody else is gonna watch my
back there is no innovation and in a
group like that there is no innovation
in a group like that backstabbing ideas
stealing plenty of that nothing personal
gotta look after numero uno so number
one people come first numbers are always
subordinate to people numbers will not
rescue you in hard times people will
numbers will not come up with new ideas
people will numbers are not innovative
people are that’s number one another one
which is really really really easy is
honesty it’s really easy to be honest
just tell the truth and if you tell the
truth on a regular basis we will say you
have integrity that’s all it means
he’s a really basic concept so for
example if somebody calls and a
secretary picks up the phone and says
Dave’s on the phone and you say damn I’m
not here you’ve just sanctioned lying
inside your organization that’s what
you’ve done you have said that when it
suits you even if these lies are small
you may tell lies that was dishonest I
went to visit Quantico Marine base where
the Marine Corps chooses selects their
officers
and on the day I was there true story I
was waiting in a conference room for the
colonel in charge of OCS to come and
give us a briefing on on the base about
about OCS about the selection process
and he arrived late Marines don’t ever
arrive late and he showed up late he
came in and apologized he said I’m sorry
we’ve had an incident with one of our
Marines so I go what happened you know
he said well we’re considering throwing
him out of OCS which means throw him out
of the Marine Corps like I’m thinking
what law did he break what did he do so
I said what did he do and the colonel
said he fell asleep on watch and I said
that’s it he fell asleep on watch in the
woods of Virginia you know I’m like you
guys are tough he said and then he
explained he said no you don’t
understand he said and we asked him
about it he denied it when we asked him
about it again he denied it again and
only when we gave him irrefutable proof
did he say quote I want to take
responsibility for my actions the
problem we have he said is we believe
you take responsibility for your actions
at the time you perform your actions not
at the time you get caught we have
another Marine who fell asleep on watch
he admitted it he got punished we have
no problem with him and he went on to
explain he says you have to understand I
cannot put this marine in a leadership
position where they’re responsible for
lives of other Marines because of
they’re in a combat situation and his
Marines doubt for one second that the
words coming out of his mouth are
anything but the truth if they believe
for one second that the words he is
speaking are only to make himself look
better or cover his own ass trusts will
break down in the whole group and people
will die
now we are not in life-and-death
situations but the way our minds
interpret information that it’s given to
us is in terms of life and death this is
why we don’t trust politicians they tell
us the things we want to hear we don’t
prima facie disagree with anything we’ve
been told but we know that they don’t
believe the things that they’re saying
and so we as human beings were very very
smart and this is always ingrained in us
we always make sure just to keep a safe
distance from anybody who we don’t
believe is honest because if we were to
find ourselves in a life-and-death
situation with them you know what I’m
gonna if I had to gamble I’m gonna say
won’t go with them when someone is
honest they’re willing to tell us good
news they’re willing to tell us bad news
they’re willing to be upfront with them
even if it’s news that we don’t want to
hear even if it’s not in our interest
we’re okay with it we actually trust
them hey listen I gotta be honest with
you your performance has been really bad
these days I love this area where I
start to give sandwiches give them the
good news
before you get to the bad news right so
give them something general and generic
that they don’t believe anyway hey
you’re really smart and on this one
project that you did that you’re really
complete like it’s really specific when
they give us the negative right in other
words we didn’t believe the positive in
the first place we knew they were just
biding their time to get to the negative
honesty I’ll give you another example of
honesty and how we respond to it okay
we’ve all had this happen you get an
email that says to you do your Simon you
you I’d get that you wouldn’t get that
if you get that send it to me dear Simon
haven’t talked to you in years I hope
you’re doing well congratulations on
your success it’s really amazing would
love to catch up and get a cup of tea
sometime by the way I’m if you could go
to this website I’m trying to raise
money for a project I’m doing it would
really appreciate if you could vote for
me or tweet it out thanks a lot Dave and
what do you do when you get something
like that you’re like you know right now
what if we simply reversed the
information dear Simon I’m trying to
raise money for this project I’m doing
would really appreciate if you could
click on the link and vote for me and
maybe even tweet it out haven’t seen you
in years hope you’re doing really well
congratulations all your success would
love to get together with you for a cup
of tea sometime Dave
in other words tell me the reason you
sent me the email right the niceties are
fine but that’s not the reason you sent
me the email it was dishonest it was
disingenuous honesty is such a simple
thing right it’s such a simple thing and
when it is afforded to us we respond
with loyalty and Trust and the
commitment and devotion and loyalty
because why wouldn’t we by telling me
accurate information it helps me better
survive I like that I appreciate it I’m
gonna stand next to the honest one
honesty is king hard but important and
if we screw up be honest about the screw
up I want you to know I wasn’t honest
with you I was in a weird position and I
should have told you the truth and I
didn’t I got embarrassed and then I made
it worse I know I I don’t I don’t know I
didn’t sorry
I am ashamed you know like we can be
honest about the failings even we can
accept punishments great organizations
that people scrub you can be punished
but it doesn’t mean you’ll lose your job
if we fear that we will lose our jobs we
don’t work in safe organizations if we
fear getting in trouble that’s okay when
we fear getting in trouble for my
parents we don’t fear that they’re gonna
throw us out of the house right same
thing
same thing here’s another thing that is
easy to do and is a component of
leadership right allowing others to fail
my friend David mark hey who wrote an
amazing book called turned the ship
around check it out ma rqu ET was a
naval cat as a captain of a submarine
nuclear-powered los angeles-class past
attack sub and mark a believed like many
of us do that his credibility as a
leader was closely tied to his
competence to his intelligence you know
we believe that we have to know as much
or more than those in our report because
this is what gives us credibility as
leaders right and so in typical mark a
fashion when he was assigned to one of
the great honors of his career to be
captain of his own submarine the USS
Olympia he spent a year learning every
button every switch every pipe every
valve of the submarine he went through
the dossiers of his crew he knew
everything about his crew he was gonna
be prepared and he was gonna know as
much or more than everybody else on
board because he was the captain now he
had to he had no choice two weeks before
he took command of the Olympia he got a
phone call that says yeah you’re not
gonna be the captain of the Olympia
you’re gonna be the captain of the
SantaFe it was a slightly newer
submarine still in Ellis angeles-class
submarine but mark I realized because it
was slightly new some of the things were
different and he didn’t want anybody to
know that he didn’t know everything
that’s we kind of kept it to himself and
pretended he knew everything but that’s
okay you know he’s a smart guy as a
competent guy yeah obviously trust him
enough to be captain he was fine then
there was another little wrinkle where
the Olympia was the best rated crew in
the United States submarine fleet the
Santa Fe was the worst rated crew in the
submarine fleet they ranked last or
close to last in almost every readiness
measurement in the entire some would and
that the Navy had right but mark hey
figured that’s okay I have a bad crew
that’s alright I’m gonna be a good
leader if I give good orders I’ll have a
good ship and if I give great orders
I’ll have a crate ship
so they set sail and about two or three
days into into into being out there you
know when they got ready he’s like
barking orders get ready for this get
ready for that and and everybody was
following his orders enough they went
out to sea it was great feeling
everybody when they do it you say right
and about two or three days out they
were submerged and they decided to run
an exercise so they turned off the
reactor manually and pretended that they
are having a meltdown and they ran the
boat on battery power
it’s called EPM right and mark’ decided
he wanted to add a little tension make
this see how well they would do with
with more difficult situation then he
gave a simple order ahead two-thirds and
what that means is run the boat 2/3 its
maximum speed to his side was his
navigator who was the second-in-command
at the time on the on the on the in the
in the bridge and he was also the most
experienced sailor on board he’d had two
and a half years aboard the Santa Fe and
he repeated the order ahead two thirds
and nothing happened and seaman Jones
junior sailor sitting at the controls
was squirming literally squirming in his
seat
so mark hey piers out from the side of
his periscope and says seaman Jones
what’s the problem and seaman Jones
replies sir there is no two third
setting apparently on this slightly
newer Los Angeles but there was no two
third setting on the EPM so he turns to
his navigator he says did you know this
and the guy goes mm-hmm
[Laughter]
he said then why did you give the order
he said because you told me to and
that’s when Mark a realizes he’s aboard
a ship he doesn’t understand and he has
a crew that’s trained for compliance
it’s not like you can just turn around
and ask for a new boat or change a crew
out we in the private sector think that
we have an advantage because we can hire
and fire people you’re assuming that
we’re hiring and firing the right people
we think with it when things don’t work
just change the people get rid of the
get rid of the weak links mark a didn’t
have this this is his crew he’s stuck
with it and it’s not like in anything
else in the world in submarines there’s
no one person who dies you either all
live or you all die that’s it those are
your options on a submarine and sir Mark
a is forced to literally re-examine
everything he understands about
leadership because bad things will
happen if this is the way it goes and so
one of the things he realized is he had
a permission-based Society aboard his
boat sir permission to dive to 4-under
feet permission granted eyes are diving
for in defeat in other words all the
authority all of the accountability lies
with the person in charge with the
captain if something goes wrong the
captain allowed it to happen
mark Abe and the words permission to
aboard his boat and he replaced them
with I intend to the hierarchy is not
affected at all the chain of command is
not affected at all the difference is
psychological I intend to dive to
all the accountability lies with the
person performing the action now and so
what started to happen was people took
their jobs more seriously and they
started to ask each other for help
because where things went wrong and
instead of wanting to get permission
from the boss now if the bus asked a
question you wanted to be able to have
the answer
which means when the bus says did you
check the depths sometimes he asked and
sometimes he didn’t did you check the
tips of course I check the debts what
are the depths 400 you know in other
words you could never be caught not
knowing before you made a decision
accountability went up there are lots of
other things that mark’ did which he
talked about in his book within a short
period of time the crew of the Santa Fe
became the highest-rated crew in naval
history not that year not the submarine
fleet in naval history same people same
equipment it’s not the people it’s the
environment it’s always the environment
that people are fine it’s always the
environment and this is what leadership
is one of the things mark’ realizes in
most organizations the people at the top
have all of the authority but none of
the information and the people who are
actually performing the jobs have all
the information but none of the
authority and in most organizations they
strive to get the information up no push
the authority down this is what creates
great organizations and what that does
is it makes us feel that our work and
our lives have value we want to be given
the opportunity to make mistakes we want
to be given the opportunity to work hard
and have responsibility it feels good to
work hard to have responsibly of
something if somebody else we’ve all had
the experience sometimes junior
sometimes senior in our jobs I can
remember in my own career I used to have
a boss who did the opposite and I would
write I would write something and she
would covered in red pen and tell me to
make her changes and so go make her
changes I come back and she’d covered
and repentant me to make her changes and
at some point I stopped caring about the
quality of my first draft because I knew
she’s just gonna change it all to
whatever she wanted anyway
no longer felt valuable or valued as
opposed to telling me the macro issues
she had this is not clear I know what
you’re trying to say but it doesn’t come
across try again
responsibility accountability I remember
the first time that somebody gave me
accountability I had to produce
something that I had to send out to the
client the norm was to show it to my
boss before it went out to the client
except this time he decided to leave
early and I said well join me to email
it to you before you know before it goes
out he goes no good night make sure it
goes out tonight bye now I knew what
good was and I knew what it had to be
done and guess what he was fine and I
worked hard I wanted to do it right one
of the things great leaders do is they
allow us to try and fail and one other
thing mark hey Tork one of the marquee
talks about is the importance of
training in the importance of practicing
the points of small projects because you
can punch a hole in the side of the ship
above the waterline and you fix it it
cost some money or whatever but you do
that over and over again so that you
don’t punch a hole in the side of the
ship below the waterline in training
metrics are supposed to go down because
you want people to try hard and fail and
find out where the line is in combat
training you want them to get shot
because you want them to find where
getting shot happens you don’t want you
don’t want to outscore everybody else in
training it’s ridiculous right this is
the time to push the limits or give
people little projects that at the worst
think about what we do for a living
right nobody here’s looking for a cure
for cancer or working in an ER the worst
thing we can do
the absolute worst is lose a
multi-billion dollar corporation some
money
and not enough that will get noticed and
it is enough to get noticed it won’t put
you out of business
like seriously death and destruction and
that’s the worst and so when we have
leaders that understand that and allow
us to try and fail and try and fail and
understand that if we screw it up it’s
okay the ships not gonna sink now try
again let’s sit down and talk about
maybe what you would like to do
differently next time I want you to
learn I want you to try again kind of
like what we do with our kids and that’s
the final point the closest analogy I
can give to you about what leadership is
is parenting
think about what makes a great parent
you know first of all not having kids is
a better life you guys you get a bigger
house you take nicer vacations you can
get the car you want not the car you
have to get right much more sleep right
yet we choose for some reason to have
children we have choose to make these
sacrifices because in time it’s kind of
worth it to see this little thing grow
up and make something of themselves that
we we got to look after it’s kind of
worth it the problem with leadership the
problem with parenting is they’re both
like exercise is they cannot be measured
in small discrete chunks I can give you
a compelling presentation about the
importance of exercise and they’ll
change your life and improve the quality
of your life and let people live longer
and you’ll believe me you’ll go to the
gym and you’ll come back and you’ll look
in the mirror and you will see nothing
but you go the next day and you come
back and you look in the mirror and you
will see nothing
and then worse you’re in pain and so you
have no metrics to show there’s any
value to anything I’ve told you so you
stop but if you can stick with it after
three months you look at an old picture
of yourself but I can’t believe I ever
looked like that
I can’t believe leadership and parenting
the same you have no idea if your being
a good parent on a daily basis none in
fact sometimes you’re a bad parent but
you kind of have a sense of what it
should be and you stick with it and
there are these little glimmers that you
get that make you proud that you’re kind
of doing the right thing that the
sacrifice is worth it like the little
things that the kids do but you won’t
actually see a return on your investment
investment for like 30 years you know
some of our parents are still waiting
for us right leadership is the same I
haven’t I have no way of measuring that
you’re being a good leader on a daily
basis even the best leaders are
sometimes terrible leaders on a daily
basis
there’s no good metric the problem is is
it’s very hard to measure in short
discreet packets but it’s very easy to
measure over distance over time that’s
the problem
good good leadership is obvious you’ve
measured in things like churn you know
how many and what’s the average lifespan
of your employees I love reading all
these reports and say well the trend is
that people are spending less and less
time at their jobs now and maybe it’s
because they’re looking for more
adventure no it’s because they don’t
feel safe and why would they stick
around there’s no loyalty it’s not a
good trend it’s a symptom parenting
think about what a great parent is a
great parent is willing to sacrifice
given them ton of themselves you know
discipline when necessary provide
opportunities provide education also
this young little thing can grow up and
achieve more than they thought they ever
could for themselves what’s a great
leader somebody’s willing to sacrifice
and give of themselves and provide
opportunities education discipline when
necessary sometimes help them up
sometimes make them get up themselves
also they’ll grow up and build
confidence and achieve things I couldn’t
even achieve for myself same thing
there’s a photograph in the New York
Times a bunch of months ago you remember
those shootings in Kenya and the amazing
thing was there was a photographer who
was on the scene usually
see the aftermath right and this
particular one there was a photographer
in the mall and so we got to see
pictures of what was going on
and there’s one photograph you can look
it up it’s online there’s one photo it’s
Taylor Hicks is the photographer’s name
not the same Taylor Hicks there’s a
photographer de Graaff of a mother lying
on top of her child okay now think about
that at the sound of a gun it’s a
mother’s instinct to throw herself on to
her child potentially risking her own
life to ensure that the life of this
young precious thing will survive her
now on other days mom gets to do what
mom says because I’m the mom and
sometimes mom takes the liberties and
enjoys the liberties of being the leader
and being the one in charge but when it
matters when the child’s life survival
are at stake there’s no question what a
good mother does they throw themselves
on top of their child no questions asked
even at personal sacrifice that’s called
leadership that’s what our leaders do
they can enjoy the trappings enjoy the
perks enjoy the parking spaces enjoy the
money nobody says you have to give them
up in fact we would be upset if you gave
them up because it’s our pleasure to do
these things for you you know can you
imagine if Steven Spielberg you know you
made him a cup of coffees I can make my
own cup it actually would feel bad like
we wanted well we want to do these
things it brings us joy to do these
things just like it brings our kids
Joy’s joy to make us proud and it gives
us joy to make our leaders proud we want
to do right by them but we do so with
the knowledge that they would sacrifice
themselves for us
back in the Marine Corps this idea of
leadership is viewed as a responsibility
not as a rank you will never hear the
use words spoken the Marines you will
never hear the words I am a leader I
believe I have what it takes to be a
leader I aspire to be a leader those
words do not exist here are the words
they speak I’m a leader of Marines I
believe I have what it takes to be a
leader of Marines I aspire to be a good
leader of Marines in their own
vernacular they view leadership as a
responsibility to another human being
and not a rank to be attained it’s the
same for us you’re not a leader
you’re a leader of people and to say I
am a leader is false I’m a leader of
people I aspire to be a leader of people
I believe I have what it takes to be a
leader of people I want to be the best
leader of people I can possibly be and
we are reminded every time we speak the
words that our responsibilities to
another person like the word parent I am
a parent inherent in that word is that
there’s a child you can’t call yourself
a parent without a child I’m a parent of
a child it comes with certain
responsibilities inherent as does
leadership and so this manifests in some
funny ways in the Marine Corps if you go
to any chow hall anywhere in the world
on any Marine base what you will see is
they will line up in rank order during
Chow time most junior man eats first
most senior man eats last it is not in
any rulebook and no one tells them they
have to it happens organically because
of the way they simply view the
responsibilities of leadership that I as
the leader like a parent would let my
child eat before I eat that’s just what
we do and so that’s one of the ways it
shows up I was told a true story I was
told a story of a Marine officer who was
deployed and they had they were eating
among with the group and the that
officer made sure that his men ate first
as is the custom in the Marine Corps
and they ran out of food the officer
didn’t get to eat
so when they went out back into the
field all of his men brought him some of
their food so that he made it this is
what happens when we as leaders commit
to the safety of our people our people
will give us their blood sweat and tears
and they will make their own sacrifices
to ensure that we are kept safe and to
ensure that our visions are advanced we
cannot sit here with our arms folded and
simply complain that our leadership
doesn’t look after us that our
leadership doesn’t get it that they
would soon as sacrifice us to save the
numbers and they would never sacrifice
the numbers to save us the day listen to
Wall Street they don’t put people first
they claim they drive innovation but
they’re not creating the environment
that would create innovation we cannot
complain because we must be the leaders
we wish we had we have a person to the
left of us and we have a person to the
right of us that we can take
responsibility for sure you don’t love
your job but do they are you committing
yourself to ensuring that they feel
happy that they feel safe that they have
the job they love that they feel like
they’re learning that they feel they
have opportunity we have entire sections
in the book shop called self-help we
have no sections called help others and
yet the science is clear our own sense
of happiness our own sense of
fulfillment our health and indeed the
success of the organization itself are
tied entirely
tarah willingness to serve those in our
tribe to look after those who would we
we would call brother and sister which
we don’t do in companies we have
colleagues in the military they have
brothers and they have sisters we don’t
always like our brothers and sisters but
my goodness you threatened my brother or
thanks very much [Applause]
depressing that messages like mine have
an audience you know I talk about really
simple things like how to be fulfilled
you know and like how to do things that
inspire us and how to work for a company
that sort of gets the best out of us and
makes us feel good while they’re doing
it and and you know it’s kind of
upsetting that people are even wanting
to hear that meaning that there’s a
demand for it but it also presents the
most remarkable opportunity in the world
which means there’s an opportunity for
us to change the way work is done so
that all of those things are not the
exception but rather the rule you know
it’s it’s it is the exception when
somebody says I love my job
you know so you meet somebody at a bar
is like what do you do I love my job
oh you’re so lucky right it’s like that
that should be something special is
remarkable and so the amazing thing is
is that ability to say I love my job I
love what I do
is actually not that complicated to find
and not ironically it has nothing to do
with the work that we do it has
everything to do with the people with
whom we work and you don’t even have to
like the people with whom you work
that’s the most amazing thing of all if
you think about it in the military there
are people who are willing to risk their
lives for people they don’t even like we
don’t even like to give a credit for
things you know so what is it that
creates an environment in which people
care about each other so much that they
would risk their lives for people that
they don’t even like right sometimes
this is remarkable human beings in all
their complexity and all of the nonsense
and all the messiness
what drives us is kinda simple and this
is what I like to research and learn
about and write about which is if you
understand the very basic mechanics of
this machine called the human being
it’s becomes fairly obvious as to what
conditions in which the machine will
perform well and in what conditions the
machine will not perform very simply our
machine is a social machine
we are social animals and we respond to
the environment we’re in that good
people are capable of doing very bad
things if they’re in the wrong
environment and people who society may
have given up on if you put them in the
right environment are capable of
performing remarkable remarkable things
this is the job of leadership which is
to make that environment the leader sets
the tone and the tone that is set will
determine how we respond according and
again we are relatively simple in our
motivations if you go back to the
Paleolithic era when Homo Sapien first
stepped foot on the planet about 50,000
years ago there were other hominid
species that existed at the same time
but we were the ones that survived they
died we weren’t necessarily the
strongest we weren’t necessarily the
fastest and yet we’ve done quite well
look at this remarkable world that we’ve
built one of the huge advantages we had
and have is that we are social animals
and things like trust and cooperation
are absolutely essential for our
survival they’re not just nice ideas
they’re absolutely essential you can
imagine why when we existed when we
lived in populations that never really
got bigger than about a hundred and
fifty people for forty thousand of the
fifty thousand years we’ve been on this
planet we never lived in populations
bigger than 150 people
I understand scale presents some
inherent problems but you can you can
understand the benefits of the group
living what it meant was I could fall
asleep at night and trust that someone
in my tribe would watch for danger if I
didn’t trust the people in my tribe I
couldn’t go to sleep and this is not a
very good system for survival or
performing
or anything any other metric it’s the
same at work when we work with people
with whom we trust I don’t need to
double-check your work I don’t need to
see it before it goes out to you no I
don’t need you don’t need my approval
right when we have trust we can let
people go do their work and even if
they’re subordinate we don’t need to
double-check or approve or anything
things will happen because we trust them
because we all have each other’s backs
we all have each other’s interests in
mind the problem with things like trust
and cooperation is that they are not
instructions
I can’t simply tell you trust me you
can’t simply ask people to trust you in
your advertising and you can’t simply
tell people I want you two to cooperate
trust and cooperation are feelings and
this is the problem so the question is
where are those feelings come from now
again we are basic pretty simple in in
our motivation in our constructions you
can imagine what life what color should
I use you can imagine what life must
have been like in these Paleolithic
times it was a world filled with danger
all of these forces working extremely
hard to kill us whether it was the
weather or lack of resources
saber-toothed tiger nothing personal but
all of these forces were working
together to end our lives and so as
tribal animals we work together and
lived and worked amongst people around
whom we felt safe
we felt like we belonged and when we
felt safe amongst the people with whom
we lived and work the natural human
response is trust in cooperation it’s
just what happens when we do not feel
safe amongst the people with whom we
work however the natural human
inclination is cynicism paranoia
mistrust and self-interest when we do
not feel safe amongst the people with
whom we work if our leaders do not make
us feel safe we have no choice but to
spend our own time in our own energy to
protect ourselves from each other when
we do not fear each other we naturally
work together to face the dangers and
seize the opportunities it’s the exact
same thing in our modern business world
there are forces that are a constant and
beyond our control that are working to
kill you right maybe I’m exaggerating
but there are forces outside things like
the uncertainty of an economy the ups
and downs of a stock market a new
technology that might render a business
model obsolete overnight your
competition that sometimes is trying to
kill you it’s trying to destroy that
product to put you out of business but
at the very minimum is trying to
frustrate your growth and steal your
customers these forces are a constant
and you have no control over them and
never will the only variable are the
conditions inside the organization and
when those conditions are set in a
manner that allows us to feel like we
can trust and cooperate we do this is
what leaders are supposed to do there is
an exact definition of leadership and it
is not my opinion you know I I I love
all the books that come out and all the
articles what makes a great leader what
are the five things you need to be a
leader you need charisma you need vision
you know all of these things I can tell
you right now those things are sometimes
useful but they’re not essential
not everyone has vision does that mean
they’re they’re not allowed to be
leaders you know some people have
remarkable charisma and some people
don’t does that mean they will never
lead of course it’s all nonsense you
can’t manufacture these things some
people are good strategic thinkers and
some people are not some people are just
naturally good at basketball and some
people are not there are skills you can
get better at them for sure but you’re
either a visionary or not these are not
things that we can manufacture in other
words they’re not essential components
for leadership there’s only one
characteristic that I’m comfortable
saying that all leaders must have to
become leaders and that’s courage
because leadership is hard and it often
requires sacrifice and the the that it
will happen that you will have to put
your interests your comforts your
advantages aside so that others may gain
and that sometimes really hard in fact
standing up for others may mean that you
might get your head chopped off you know
a leader sometimes loses
job because they did the right thing
right that comes with significant risk
the choice to be a leader comes at
significant risk and this is why not
everyone chooses to be a leader
leadership has nothing to do with rank
it has nothing to do with the title you
have on your card leadership is a choice
that’s it I know many many people who
sit in the senior echelons of a
corporation and they are not leaders
they are authorities and they have
authority and we do what they say
because they have authority over us but
we would not follow them I know many
people who sit at the bottom of
organizations who have no authority but
they are absolutely leaders and the
reason they’re leaders is because they
have made a choice they have chosen to
look after the person to the left of
them and they have chosen to look after
the person to the right of them it
doesn’t always mean they have to
sacrifice their interests but when it
really counts sometimes they choose to
sacrifice their interests because it’s
in the interest of the person to the
left and to the right of them this is
the role of leaders is not an accident
either it’s built into our anthropology
it’s part of our survival the reason we
have hierarchy and we have leaders for
those times when we lived in these
austere conditions we had a little bit
of a problem it’s a very practical
problem it wasn’t necessarily enough
food to go around all the time you
didn’t miss as we didn’t have
supermarkets and cars we just go get
milk sometimes there was food readily
available and sometimes not which meant
it someone brought home some food and
we’re living in a population of up to a
hundred and fifty we would all Russian
tea because we’re all hungry and if you
were lucky enough to be built like a
football player you could shove your way
to the front of the line if you were the
artist of the family you would get an
elbow in the face this is not a good
system for cooperation it’s not a good
system for survival because the odds are
that if I got punched in the face this
afternoon I’m not gonna wake the guy if
I see danger bad system and so we
evolved into these hierarchical animals
we are constantly assessing and judging
each other
whose alpha whose beta we are naturally
hierarchical and we always organize
ourselves in hierarchies so even in
meetings we go to meeting like
everybody’s equal I want you guys to
work together it’s not going to happen
we are never equals we always assess we
always judge we always allow some others
some difference in the role of
leadership and some of us defer and sort
of take a more subordinate role it
always happens not necessarily a bad
thing and again the reasons are very
practical based on our history because
what would happen was when we would
assess someone as our alpha and let me
be clear your capacity to be an alpha in
any population is not an absolute it is
relative to the population you’re in so
you might be a technologist or an
engineer and you might think you’re the
hottest best most fantastic engineer and
so does everybody else and you walk
around like this and you go take a dance
class all of a sudden you egos not so
big anymore right we’ve all had the
experience right we’ve all had the
experience where we shake someone’s hand
and we’re nervous
you’re not the album you know or when we
consents with someone’s nervous meeting
us you’re the author right it’s it’s a
relative scale so when we assess that
someone in the population is our is
alpha we voluntarily step back and allow
them first choice of meat and first
choice of may we let them eat first we
may not get the best choice of meat but
we will eat eventually and we didn’t
have to get an elbow in the face to get
that food good system to this day we are
very comfortable with paying deference
and offering advantages to those more
senior than us there’s not a single
person in this room zero that has a
problem with somebody more senior than
you at the company making more money
than you as a salary my having a bigger
salary than you doesn’t bother you at
all you might think they’re an idiot but
it doesn’t actually bother you that they
make more money than you because they
outrank you no issue it doesn’t bother
us at all that somebody more senior than
us has a bigger office or a better
parking space it is of no issue
whatsoever in fact we very often find
ourselves deferring to our alphas doing
nice things for our foes we open doors
for them and call them sir and ma’am and
get them tea and they didn’t even ask I
can promise you that if as you were
walking out of this room if Steven
Spielberg happened to walked in walk in
you would hold the door open for him and
then you would go home and tell your
spouse or your boyfriend your girlfriend
you’ll never believe what happened today
I held the door open for Steven
Spielberg how come you don’t advertise
when you hold the door open for anybody
else it’s because we’re proud to
sometimes do menial labor for those who
we perceive as alphas in our system
we’re proud to work for the groups that
they lead and the organizations that
they lead by the way you can’t lead a
company you can run a company you can
only lead people and so this whole idea
of deference and how we always defer
instead of volunteer to these alphas is
a natural human response and it’s a
survival instinct and it’s all about
this and that’s the point
none of those perks that you get for
being the leader for being the alpha
none of them come free they come at a
very high expense you see the group is
not dumb we expect
that the person who’s better fed the
person who’s actually stronger or
smarter than us the person who has a
higher self-confidence has more
self-confidence because of all our our
love and deference in hello sir and
hello mmm and actually boost their
self-confidence
we expect that this more confidence
stronger better fed person when danger
threatens the tribe we expect them to
rush towards the danger to protect us
that’s the cost of leadership that’s why
we gave you first choice of mate because
you might die and we want to keep your
genes in the gene pool we’re not stupid
and this is what it means to be a leader
the willingness to rush towards the
danger to protect those in your care it
is a choice you don’t have to be a
leader it is a choice if you don’t like
the costs of leadership you may not
accept the perks of leadership because
they do not come for free this is the
reason why we are so viscerally offended
by some of the banking CEOs have these
disproportionate salaries and bonus
structures it’s not the money that
offends us it’s that we know deep inside
us that they have violated the very
definition of what it means to be a
leader they have accepted all of the
perks and bonuses and benefits of being
the leader and yet they’re not willing
to make any of the sacrifices for the
role that they have accepted in other
words we know that they allowed their
people to be sacrificed for them to keep
their bonuses and perks and advantages
worse sometimes they chose to sacrifice
their people to protect their bonuses
and their perks this is what so offends
us it’s not the money if I told you
we’re going to give a hundred and fifty
million dollar bonus to Nelson Mandela
does anyone have a problem with that no
how about a two hundred and fifty
million dollar bonus to mother Teresa
got an issue with that
it’s not the money it’s not the money
it’s that leadership is a choice and in
our modern day and age unfortunately
many of the people who like to call
themselves leaders are not leaders at
all
they are authorities that’s all they are
and we have to do what they say because
they have authority over us but we would
not follow them and this is a problem
because when we do not feel that they
have our backs we do not feel safe work
inside their organizations they force us
to spend our time and our energy to
protect ourselves from them and the
organization itself suffers it’s what
happens it’s ironic to me that
organizations like your own who want to
drive innovation and ideas and new ways
of thinking would in the same breath lay
people off because they didn’t make the
numbers in one year you do realize that
those two concepts are completely
counterproductive it’s like talking to a
CEO and I ask what are your priorities
they say we have two priorities
innovation and efficiency not possible
there is nothing efficient about
innovation try fail try fail try fail
try fail try fail try fail succeed not
efficient it takes so you throw money to
try things out you can be innovative or
you can be efficient you can be
efficient in hope for innovation and you
can be innovative and hope for
efficiency there’s always gonna be one
subordinate to the other not bad not
better or worse but let’s not kid
ourselves and think that they can be
equal grounds they cannot it is
impossible but worse an organization
that claims or hopes or desires or
aspires to be innovative must at every
expense commit themselves to the safety
of their people because only when we
feel safe and protected will we
voluntarily commit ourselves the support
of each other and the advancement of the
here are just a few great leaders would
never sacrifice the numbers would never
sacrifice the people to save the numbers
great leaders would sacrifice the
numbers to save the people and so when
we live in a day and age where our
leaders are so comfortable sending you
home to tell your spouse and your kids
I’m sorry I no longer have an income
because the company had to make its
numbers for the year forget about the
people who lost their jobs what about
the people who didn’t get laid off
how inspire do you think they feel to
come back to work every day how do you
how safe do you think they feel do you
think we’re gonna give our best knowing
at the next time if the company doesn’t
make its numbers by the way which may or
may not have anything to do with us
remember all of those outside dangers
the ups and downs of technologies the
ups and downs of stock markets the ups
and downs of economies do you think when
you have a bad year you set your
children down and say kids it’s been a
bad year we have to get rid of one of
you or worse or worse
I got to keep my Mercedes and so it’s
either you or the car and we picked you
right
no we tighten the belt we work together
we figure out ways to make it happen to
see it through the hard times we cannot
judge the quality of a crew based on how
they perform in good times we judge a
quality of the crew by how they perform
in rough waters and unfortunately we
throw our crew overboard when we hit
rough waters what makes them want to
commit to see the ships make it through
the rough waters what they do is they
sit down and watch their own backs
because nobody else is gonna watch my
back there is no innovation and in a
group like that there is no innovation
in a group like that backstabbing ideas
stealing plenty of that nothing personal
gotta look after numero uno so number
one people come first numbers are always
subordinate to people numbers will not
rescue you in hard times people will
numbers will not come up with new ideas
people will numbers are not innovative
people are that’s number one another one
which is really really really easy is
honesty it’s really easy to be honest
just tell the truth and if you tell the
truth on a regular basis we will say you
have integrity that’s all it means
he’s a really basic concept so for
example if somebody calls and a
secretary picks up the phone and says
Dave’s on the phone and you say damn I’m
not here you’ve just sanctioned lying
inside your organization that’s what
you’ve done you have said that when it
suits you even if these lies are small
you may tell lies that was dishonest I
went to visit Quantico Marine base where
the Marine Corps chooses selects their
officers
and on the day I was there true story I
was waiting in a conference room for the
colonel in charge of OCS to come and
give us a briefing on on the base about
about OCS about the selection process
and he arrived late Marines don’t ever
arrive late and he showed up late he
came in and apologized he said I’m sorry
we’ve had an incident with one of our
Marines so I go what happened you know
he said well we’re considering throwing
him out of OCS which means throw him out
of the Marine Corps like I’m thinking
what law did he break what did he do so
I said what did he do and the colonel
said he fell asleep on watch and I said
that’s it he fell asleep on watch in the
woods of Virginia you know I’m like you
guys are tough he said and then he
explained he said no you don’t
understand he said and we asked him
about it he denied it when we asked him
about it again he denied it again and
only when we gave him irrefutable proof
did he say quote I want to take
responsibility for my actions the
problem we have he said is we believe
you take responsibility for your actions
at the time you perform your actions not
at the time you get caught we have
another Marine who fell asleep on watch
he admitted it he got punished we have
no problem with him and he went on to
explain he says you have to understand I
cannot put this marine in a leadership
position where they’re responsible for
lives of other Marines because of
they’re in a combat situation and his
Marines doubt for one second that the
words coming out of his mouth are
anything but the truth if they believe
for one second that the words he is
speaking are only to make himself look
better or cover his own ass trusts will
break down in the whole group and people
will die
now we are not in life-and-death
situations but the way our minds
interpret information that it’s given to
us is in terms of life and death this is
why we don’t trust politicians they tell
us the things we want to hear we don’t
prima facie disagree with anything we’ve
been told but we know that they don’t
believe the things that they’re saying
and so we as human beings were very very
smart and this is always ingrained in us
we always make sure just to keep a safe
distance from anybody who we don’t
believe is honest because if we were to
find ourselves in a life-and-death
situation with them you know what I’m
gonna if I had to gamble I’m gonna say
won’t go with them when someone is
honest they’re willing to tell us good
news they’re willing to tell us bad news
they’re willing to be upfront with them
even if it’s news that we don’t want to
hear even if it’s not in our interest
we’re okay with it we actually trust
them hey listen I gotta be honest with
you your performance has been really bad
these days I love this area where I
start to give sandwiches give them the
good news
before you get to the bad news right so
give them something general and generic
that they don’t believe anyway hey
you’re really smart and on this one
project that you did that you’re really
complete like it’s really specific when
they give us the negative right in other
words we didn’t believe the positive in
the first place we knew they were just
biding their time to get to the negative
honesty I’ll give you another example of
honesty and how we respond to it okay
we’ve all had this happen you get an
email that says to you do your Simon you
you I’d get that you wouldn’t get that
if you get that send it to me dear Simon
haven’t talked to you in years I hope
you’re doing well congratulations on
your success it’s really amazing would
love to catch up and get a cup of tea
sometime by the way I’m if you could go
to this website I’m trying to raise
money for a project I’m doing it would
really appreciate if you could vote for
me or tweet it out thanks a lot Dave and
what do you do when you get something
like that you’re like you know right now
what if we simply reversed the
information dear Simon I’m trying to
raise money for this project I’m doing
would really appreciate if you could
click on the link and vote for me and
maybe even tweet it out haven’t seen you
in years hope you’re doing really well
congratulations all your success would
love to get together with you for a cup
of tea sometime Dave
in other words tell me the reason you
sent me the email right the niceties are
fine but that’s not the reason you sent
me the email it was dishonest it was
disingenuous honesty is such a simple
thing right it’s such a simple thing and
when it is afforded to us we respond
with loyalty and Trust and the
commitment and devotion and loyalty
because why wouldn’t we by telling me
accurate information it helps me better
survive I like that I appreciate it I’m
gonna stand next to the honest one
honesty is king hard but important and
if we screw up be honest about the screw
up I want you to know I wasn’t honest
with you I was in a weird position and I
should have told you the truth and I
didn’t I got embarrassed and then I made
it worse I know I I don’t I don’t know I
didn’t sorry
I am ashamed you know like we can be
honest about the failings even we can
accept punishments great organizations
that people scrub you can be punished
but it doesn’t mean you’ll lose your job
if we fear that we will lose our jobs we
don’t work in safe organizations if we
fear getting in trouble that’s okay when
we fear getting in trouble for my
parents we don’t fear that they’re gonna
throw us out of the house right same
thing
same thing here’s another thing that is
easy to do and is a component of
leadership right allowing others to fail
my friend David mark hey who wrote an
amazing book called turned the ship
around check it out ma rqu ET was a
naval cat as a captain of a submarine
nuclear-powered los angeles-class past
attack sub and mark a believed like many
of us do that his credibility as a
leader was closely tied to his
competence to his intelligence you know
we believe that we have to know as much
or more than those in our report because
this is what gives us credibility as
leaders right and so in typical mark a
fashion when he was assigned to one of
the great honors of his career to be
captain of his own submarine the USS
Olympia he spent a year learning every
button every switch every pipe every
valve of the submarine he went through
the dossiers of his crew he knew
everything about his crew he was gonna
be prepared and he was gonna know as
much or more than everybody else on
board because he was the captain now he
had to he had no choice two weeks before
he took command of the Olympia he got a
phone call that says yeah you’re not
gonna be the captain of the Olympia
you’re gonna be the captain of the
SantaFe it was a slightly newer
submarine still in Ellis angeles-class
submarine but mark I realized because it
was slightly new some of the things were
different and he didn’t want anybody to
know that he didn’t know everything
that’s we kind of kept it to himself and
pretended he knew everything but that’s
okay you know he’s a smart guy as a
competent guy yeah obviously trust him
enough to be captain he was fine then
there was another little wrinkle where
the Olympia was the best rated crew in
the United States submarine fleet the
Santa Fe was the worst rated crew in the
submarine fleet they ranked last or
close to last in almost every readiness
measurement in the entire some would and
that the Navy had right but mark hey
figured that’s okay I have a bad crew
that’s alright I’m gonna be a good
leader if I give good orders I’ll have a
good ship and if I give great orders
I’ll have a crate ship
so they set sail and about two or three
days into into into being out there you
know when they got ready he’s like
barking orders get ready for this get
ready for that and and everybody was
following his orders enough they went
out to sea it was great feeling
everybody when they do it you say right
and about two or three days out they
were submerged and they decided to run
an exercise so they turned off the
reactor manually and pretended that they
are having a meltdown and they ran the
boat on battery power
it’s called EPM right and mark’ decided
he wanted to add a little tension make
this see how well they would do with
with more difficult situation then he
gave a simple order ahead two-thirds and
what that means is run the boat 2/3 its
maximum speed to his side was his
navigator who was the second-in-command
at the time on the on the on the in the
in the bridge and he was also the most
experienced sailor on board he’d had two
and a half years aboard the Santa Fe and
he repeated the order ahead two thirds
and nothing happened and seaman Jones
junior sailor sitting at the controls
was squirming literally squirming in his
seat
so mark hey piers out from the side of
his periscope and says seaman Jones
what’s the problem and seaman Jones
replies sir there is no two third
setting apparently on this slightly
newer Los Angeles but there was no two
third setting on the EPM so he turns to
his navigator he says did you know this
and the guy goes mm-hmm
[Laughter]
he said then why did you give the order
he said because you told me to and
that’s when Mark a realizes he’s aboard
a ship he doesn’t understand and he has
a crew that’s trained for compliance
it’s not like you can just turn around
and ask for a new boat or change a crew
out we in the private sector think that
we have an advantage because we can hire
and fire people you’re assuming that
we’re hiring and firing the right people
we think with it when things don’t work
just change the people get rid of the
get rid of the weak links mark a didn’t
have this this is his crew he’s stuck
with it and it’s not like in anything
else in the world in submarines there’s
no one person who dies you either all
live or you all die that’s it those are
your options on a submarine and sir Mark
a is forced to literally re-examine
everything he understands about
leadership because bad things will
happen if this is the way it goes and so
one of the things he realized is he had
a permission-based Society aboard his
boat sir permission to dive to 4-under
feet permission granted eyes are diving
for in defeat in other words all the
authority all of the accountability lies
with the person in charge with the
captain if something goes wrong the
captain allowed it to happen
mark Abe and the words permission to
aboard his boat and he replaced them
with I intend to the hierarchy is not
affected at all the chain of command is
not affected at all the difference is
psychological I intend to dive to
all the accountability lies with the
person performing the action now and so
what started to happen was people took
their jobs more seriously and they
started to ask each other for help
because where things went wrong and
instead of wanting to get permission
from the boss now if the bus asked a
question you wanted to be able to have
the answer
which means when the bus says did you
check the depths sometimes he asked and
sometimes he didn’t did you check the
tips of course I check the debts what
are the depths 400 you know in other
words you could never be caught not
knowing before you made a decision
accountability went up there are lots of
other things that mark’ did which he
talked about in his book within a short
period of time the crew of the Santa Fe
became the highest-rated crew in naval
history not that year not the submarine
fleet in naval history same people same
equipment it’s not the people it’s the
environment it’s always the environment
that people are fine it’s always the
environment and this is what leadership
is one of the things mark’ realizes in
most organizations the people at the top
have all of the authority but none of
the information and the people who are
actually performing the jobs have all
the information but none of the
authority and in most organizations they
strive to get the information up no push
the authority down this is what creates
great organizations and what that does
is it makes us feel that our work and
our lives have value we want to be given
the opportunity to make mistakes we want
to be given the opportunity to work hard
and have responsibility it feels good to
work hard to have responsibly of
something if somebody else we’ve all had
the experience sometimes junior
sometimes senior in our jobs I can
remember in my own career I used to have
a boss who did the opposite and I would
write I would write something and she
would covered in red pen and tell me to
make her changes and so go make her
changes I come back and she’d covered
and repentant me to make her changes and
at some point I stopped caring about the
quality of my first draft because I knew
she’s just gonna change it all to
whatever she wanted anyway
no longer felt valuable or valued as
opposed to telling me the macro issues
she had this is not clear I know what
you’re trying to say but it doesn’t come
across try again
responsibility accountability I remember
the first time that somebody gave me
accountability I had to produce
something that I had to send out to the
client the norm was to show it to my
boss before it went out to the client
except this time he decided to leave
early and I said well join me to email
it to you before you know before it goes
out he goes no good night make sure it
goes out tonight bye now I knew what
good was and I knew what it had to be
done and guess what he was fine and I
worked hard I wanted to do it right one
of the things great leaders do is they
allow us to try and fail and one other
thing mark hey Tork one of the marquee
talks about is the importance of
training in the importance of practicing
the points of small projects because you
can punch a hole in the side of the ship
above the waterline and you fix it it
cost some money or whatever but you do
that over and over again so that you
don’t punch a hole in the side of the
ship below the waterline in training
metrics are supposed to go down because
you want people to try hard and fail and
find out where the line is in combat
training you want them to get shot
because you want them to find where
getting shot happens you don’t want you
don’t want to outscore everybody else in
training it’s ridiculous right this is
the time to push the limits or give
people little projects that at the worst
think about what we do for a living
right nobody here’s looking for a cure
for cancer or working in an ER the worst
thing we can do
the absolute worst is lose a
multi-billion dollar corporation some
money
and not enough that will get noticed and
it is enough to get noticed it won’t put
you out of business
like seriously death and destruction and
that’s the worst and so when we have
leaders that understand that and allow
us to try and fail and try and fail and
understand that if we screw it up it’s
okay the ships not gonna sink now try
again let’s sit down and talk about
maybe what you would like to do
differently next time I want you to
learn I want you to try again kind of
like what we do with our kids and that’s
the final point the closest analogy I
can give to you about what leadership is
is parenting
think about what makes a great parent
you know first of all not having kids is
a better life you guys you get a bigger
house you take nicer vacations you can
get the car you want not the car you
have to get right much more sleep right
yet we choose for some reason to have
children we have choose to make these
sacrifices because in time it’s kind of
worth it to see this little thing grow
up and make something of themselves that
we we got to look after it’s kind of
worth it the problem with leadership the
problem with parenting is they’re both
like exercise is they cannot be measured
in small discrete chunks I can give you
a compelling presentation about the
importance of exercise and they’ll
change your life and improve the quality
of your life and let people live longer
and you’ll believe me you’ll go to the
gym and you’ll come back and you’ll look
in the mirror and you will see nothing
but you go the next day and you come
back and you look in the mirror and you
will see nothing
and then worse you’re in pain and so you
have no metrics to show there’s any
value to anything I’ve told you so you
stop but if you can stick with it after
three months you look at an old picture
of yourself but I can’t believe I ever
looked like that
I can’t believe leadership and parenting
the same you have no idea if your being
a good parent on a daily basis none in
fact sometimes you’re a bad parent but
you kind of have a sense of what it
should be and you stick with it and
there are these little glimmers that you
get that make you proud that you’re kind
of doing the right thing that the
sacrifice is worth it like the little
things that the kids do but you won’t
actually see a return on your investment
investment for like 30 years you know
some of our parents are still waiting
for us right leadership is the same I
haven’t I have no way of measuring that
you’re being a good leader on a daily
basis even the best leaders are
sometimes terrible leaders on a daily
basis
there’s no good metric the problem is is
it’s very hard to measure in short
discreet packets but it’s very easy to
measure over distance over time that’s
the problem
good good leadership is obvious you’ve
measured in things like churn you know
how many and what’s the average lifespan
of your employees I love reading all
these reports and say well the trend is
that people are spending less and less
time at their jobs now and maybe it’s
because they’re looking for more
adventure no it’s because they don’t
feel safe and why would they stick
around there’s no loyalty it’s not a
good trend it’s a symptom parenting
think about what a great parent is a
great parent is willing to sacrifice
given them ton of themselves you know
discipline when necessary provide
opportunities provide education also
this young little thing can grow up and
achieve more than they thought they ever
could for themselves what’s a great
leader somebody’s willing to sacrifice
and give of themselves and provide
opportunities education discipline when
necessary sometimes help them up
sometimes make them get up themselves
also they’ll grow up and build
confidence and achieve things I couldn’t
even achieve for myself same thing
there’s a photograph in the New York
Times a bunch of months ago you remember
those shootings in Kenya and the amazing
thing was there was a photographer who
was on the scene usually
see the aftermath right and this
particular one there was a photographer
in the mall and so we got to see
pictures of what was going on
and there’s one photograph you can look
it up it’s online there’s one photo it’s
Taylor Hicks is the photographer’s name
not the same Taylor Hicks there’s a
photographer de Graaff of a mother lying
on top of her child okay now think about
that at the sound of a gun it’s a
mother’s instinct to throw herself on to
her child potentially risking her own
life to ensure that the life of this
young precious thing will survive her
now on other days mom gets to do what
mom says because I’m the mom and
sometimes mom takes the liberties and
enjoys the liberties of being the leader
and being the one in charge but when it
matters when the child’s life survival
are at stake there’s no question what a
good mother does they throw themselves
on top of their child no questions asked
even at personal sacrifice that’s called
leadership that’s what our leaders do
they can enjoy the trappings enjoy the
perks enjoy the parking spaces enjoy the
money nobody says you have to give them
up in fact we would be upset if you gave
them up because it’s our pleasure to do
these things for you you know can you
imagine if Steven Spielberg you know you
made him a cup of coffees I can make my
own cup it actually would feel bad like
we wanted well we want to do these
things it brings us joy to do these
things just like it brings our kids
Joy’s joy to make us proud and it gives
us joy to make our leaders proud we want
to do right by them but we do so with
the knowledge that they would sacrifice
themselves for us
back in the Marine Corps this idea of
leadership is viewed as a responsibility
not as a rank you will never hear the
use words spoken the Marines you will
never hear the words I am a leader I
believe I have what it takes to be a
leader I aspire to be a leader those
words do not exist here are the words
they speak I’m a leader of Marines I
believe I have what it takes to be a
leader of Marines I aspire to be a good
leader of Marines in their own
vernacular they view leadership as a
responsibility to another human being
and not a rank to be attained it’s the
same for us you’re not a leader
you’re a leader of people and to say I
am a leader is false I’m a leader of
people I aspire to be a leader of people
I believe I have what it takes to be a
leader of people I want to be the best
leader of people I can possibly be and
we are reminded every time we speak the
words that our responsibilities to
another person like the word parent I am
a parent inherent in that word is that
there’s a child you can’t call yourself
a parent without a child I’m a parent of
a child it comes with certain
responsibilities inherent as does
leadership and so this manifests in some
funny ways in the Marine Corps if you go
to any chow hall anywhere in the world
on any Marine base what you will see is
they will line up in rank order during
Chow time most junior man eats first
most senior man eats last it is not in
any rulebook and no one tells them they
have to it happens organically because
of the way they simply view the
responsibilities of leadership that I as
the leader like a parent would let my
child eat before I eat that’s just what
we do and so that’s one of the ways it
shows up I was told a true story I was
told a story of a Marine officer who was
deployed and they had they were eating
among with the group and the that
officer made sure that his men ate first
as is the custom in the Marine Corps
and they ran out of food the officer
didn’t get to eat
so when they went out back into the
field all of his men brought him some of
their food so that he made it this is
what happens when we as leaders commit
to the safety of our people our people
will give us their blood sweat and tears
and they will make their own sacrifices
to ensure that we are kept safe and to
ensure that our visions are advanced we
cannot sit here with our arms folded and
simply complain that our leadership
doesn’t look after us that our
leadership doesn’t get it that they
would soon as sacrifice us to save the
numbers and they would never sacrifice
the numbers to save us the day listen to
Wall Street they don’t put people first
they claim they drive innovation but
they’re not creating the environment
that would create innovation we cannot
complain because we must be the leaders
we wish we had we have a person to the
left of us and we have a person to the
right of us that we can take
responsibility for sure you don’t love
your job but do they are you committing
yourself to ensuring that they feel
happy that they feel safe that they have
the job they love that they feel like
they’re learning that they feel they
have opportunity we have entire sections
in the book shop called self-help we
have no sections called help others and
yet the science is clear our own sense
of happiness our own sense of
fulfillment our health and indeed the
success of the organization itself are
tied entirely
tarah willingness to serve those in our
tribe to look after those who would we
we would call brother and sister which
we don’t do in companies we have
colleagues in the military they have
brothers and they have sisters we don’t
always like our brothers and sisters but
my goodness you threatened my brother or
thanks very much [Applause]
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