there are some foundational concepts in
the work that I do the first is
something called mental chatter and
mental chatter is an internal monologue
that we have going on in our heads all
the time
it begins with you when you get up in
the morning is with you right through
the day is with you right now when not
good to see you should be listening to
my chatter instead of your chatter so
you leave your life in spite of your
mental chatter you suppress it you
ignore it you work around it sometimes
it’s so loud that it prevents you from
going to sleep ignoring mental chatter
is a big mistake and the reason it’s a
big mistake is we create our reality
with our mental chatter we think we live
in the real world we don’t we live in a
real world and be created with our
mental chatter and our mental models
which is the next concept I want to
share with you a mental model is a
notion we have that this is the way the
world works and we have dozens of mental
models we’ve got a model for everything
we’ve got a model for how do I start a
business how do I find a good employee
to hire for my business how do I find a
person to marry how to find a movie to
go to we’ve got dozens of models maybe
hundreds of models these models may or
may not conflict with each other and we
may or may not be aware of the conflict
the problem is not that we have mental
models the problem is that we are not
aware that we have mental models we
think this is the way the world is but
this is not the way the world is this is
our model of this is the way the world
is
and the more we believe in our model
this is the way the world is the more
evidence we seem to get that this in
fact is the way the world is and very
soon we build a silo around ourselves
that’s so thick it’s almost impossible
to break out off now all of this seems
kind of abstract so let me see if I can
bring it home with a situation and what
I’d like to do is I’m going to describe
a situation I don’t want you to listen
to me I want you to actually put
yourself in that situation you’re going
to an important meeting and you’re
running late you’re driving you are
stuck in a traffic jam not a regular
run-of-the-mill traffic jam but the
mother of all traffic jams go into an
important meeting you’re driving you’re
running late you’re stuck in a massive
traffic jam and in addition it’s one of
those really hot days and the
thermometer is well over 100 degrees and
the air conditioning in your car has
broken down now a car cuts in in front
of you and almost causes an accident and
then it cuts in in front of another car
in front of you almost causes another
accident what are you feelings towards
the driver of that car it would be fair
to say that loving kindness is not it
correct now I’m going to share some
information with you the driver of this
car that cut you off so rudely and
almost caused an accident he’s received
some terrible news his son was involved
in a you know serious accident that he’s
desperately trying to get to the
hospital and he has no knowledge of
whether or not he’s ever going to see
his son alive again so what happens to
your anger when I share that information
with you does it palpably dissipate now
you don’t really know whether the guy
who cut you off was an inconsiderate
jerk or a distraught father right you
had the choice of determining which is
the emotional domain you are going to
occupy
one you had a choice and two you
exercised that choice and the reason
this is important is that you face such
a juncture in your life dozens of times
every day and in the West majority of
those instances you choose to occupy a
domain that leaves you depressed angry
frustrated rejected and you never
recognize that this is something that
you choose and the reason that you do
that is because of the mental chatter
that you entertain and the mental models
that you hold every time you are in a
situation that you find unpleasant and
it persists you are using one or more
mental models that are not serving you
well and the moment you make a change in
that mental model poof that situation
will dissolve and disappear just like that
the work that I do the first is
something called mental chatter and
mental chatter is an internal monologue
that we have going on in our heads all
the time
it begins with you when you get up in
the morning is with you right through
the day is with you right now when not
good to see you should be listening to
my chatter instead of your chatter so
you leave your life in spite of your
mental chatter you suppress it you
ignore it you work around it sometimes
it’s so loud that it prevents you from
going to sleep ignoring mental chatter
is a big mistake and the reason it’s a
big mistake is we create our reality
with our mental chatter we think we live
in the real world we don’t we live in a
real world and be created with our
mental chatter and our mental models
which is the next concept I want to
share with you a mental model is a
notion we have that this is the way the
world works and we have dozens of mental
models we’ve got a model for everything
we’ve got a model for how do I start a
business how do I find a good employee
to hire for my business how do I find a
person to marry how to find a movie to
go to we’ve got dozens of models maybe
hundreds of models these models may or
may not conflict with each other and we
may or may not be aware of the conflict
the problem is not that we have mental
models the problem is that we are not
aware that we have mental models we
think this is the way the world is but
this is not the way the world is this is
our model of this is the way the world
is
and the more we believe in our model
this is the way the world is the more
evidence we seem to get that this in
fact is the way the world is and very
soon we build a silo around ourselves
that’s so thick it’s almost impossible
to break out off now all of this seems
kind of abstract so let me see if I can
bring it home with a situation and what
I’d like to do is I’m going to describe
a situation I don’t want you to listen
to me I want you to actually put
yourself in that situation you’re going
to an important meeting and you’re
running late you’re driving you are
stuck in a traffic jam not a regular
run-of-the-mill traffic jam but the
mother of all traffic jams go into an
important meeting you’re driving you’re
running late you’re stuck in a massive
traffic jam and in addition it’s one of
those really hot days and the
thermometer is well over 100 degrees and
the air conditioning in your car has
broken down now a car cuts in in front
of you and almost causes an accident and
then it cuts in in front of another car
in front of you almost causes another
accident what are you feelings towards
the driver of that car it would be fair
to say that loving kindness is not it
correct now I’m going to share some
information with you the driver of this
car that cut you off so rudely and
almost caused an accident he’s received
some terrible news his son was involved
in a you know serious accident that he’s
desperately trying to get to the
hospital and he has no knowledge of
whether or not he’s ever going to see
his son alive again so what happens to
your anger when I share that information
with you does it palpably dissipate now
you don’t really know whether the guy
who cut you off was an inconsiderate
jerk or a distraught father right you
had the choice of determining which is
the emotional domain you are going to
occupy
one you had a choice and two you
exercised that choice and the reason
this is important is that you face such
a juncture in your life dozens of times
every day and in the West majority of
those instances you choose to occupy a
domain that leaves you depressed angry
frustrated rejected and you never
recognize that this is something that
you choose and the reason that you do
that is because of the mental chatter
that you entertain and the mental models
that you hold every time you are in a
situation that you find unpleasant and
it persists you are using one or more
mental models that are not serving you
well and the moment you make a change in
that mental model poof that situation
will dissolve and disappear just like that
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