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Top 20 Family Guy Running Jokes

the show has so many running gags how
could we pick just ten hey guys i’m
rebecca from watch mojo and today we’re
counting down our picks for the top 20
running gags in Family Guy well you
might want to bring some cash with you
you know some places don’t take credit
cards oh I see cash only yeah hey no
paper trail hey what are you selling
reefer cracks mac os/x shrooms dust
meth before we begin we publish new
content every day so be sure to
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videos just so you know we won’t be
including any cutaways on this list but
pretty much any other running gag
involving specific scenarios punchlines
or characters is fair game let’s see
number 20 Stewie’s sexy parties this is
definitely an oldie but a goodie SKU
hasn’t had one of the sexy parties in
some time and we have to say we kind of
miss them but then I realized you’ll be
out of the house five days a week which
means I’d be free to throw some of my
sexy parties he was always hilarious
seeing Stewie chase giggling women
around the room at high speed complete
with the goofy Benny Hill like music
this calls for a sexy party we don’t
really know what the point of this joke
was aside from it being yet another
random idea that the writers threw in
just cuz they could not that we’re
complaining number 19 Roadhouse
Roadhouse is definitely one of Peters
weirdest catchphrases it all started in
Brian’s got a brand-new bag when Peter
bought the movie from Quahog video sir I
need another dollar 25 is that rag
keep the change Roadhouse he
subsequently kicked everything he could
accompanied by the confident Roadhouse
catchphrase there have been numerous
variations on the joke over the years
including a Brown House my stomach feels
Brown House toast house and row house
and it’s even been stolen by Homer
Simpson Road house at this point we
think the goofy catchphrase is more
popular than the movie itself exactly
number 18 play me off Johnny are we the
only ones who miss Verne and Johnny for
those who don’t know
Verne would randomly appear joke about
the characters predicaments and then be
played off by Johnny the joke did not
make any sense of whatsoever but its
sheer randomness was part of its charm
unfortunately viewers quickly became
sick of the duo and they were killed by
Stewie in season 5 although even that
didn’t completely get rid of them damn
play me some filler Johnny maybe
moderation was the key to this
vaudevillian duo I’ll tell you what you
whiz-bang is the rest of it goal number
Tom and Diane’s banter Quahog five news
is one entertaining News Channel here’s
correspondent Tricia Takanawa who’s
either unenthusiastically commenting on
events or being totally wrecked by some
freak occurrence Diane I’m hearing Thank
You Tricia
then there’s Ollie Williams perhaps the
most succinct and hilarious weatherman
ever ollie
let’s go ray thanks ollie but the heart
of Quahog five news is Tom and Diane who
share a weird combination of sexual
tension and bitter hatred towards one
another as evidenced by their frequent
and hilarious bickering well Diane that
last report was so good I think you
deserve a spanking the hotel I don’t
think your wife would appreciate that
if only real news guests were this much
fun number 16 Al Harrington Al
Harrington has become a bit of a
breakout character his claim to fame is
of course the wacky waving inflatable
arm-flailing tube-man had but this being
a family guy I can’t just let one solid
joke go crudely painted not-so-funny
plywood cutout folk art crudely painted
not-so-funny plywood cutout folk art al
has since appeared numerous times on the
show in full energetic salesman mode and
usually accompanied by some weird
currently named product or statement
Louis I’m not going back to work
tomorrow that new boss has it in for me
he’s meaner than a shifty salesman the
writers even poke fun at how annoying he
is and back to the pilot when Peter
smokes a cigarette during an Al
Harrington cutaway gag you sure you got
time to smoke oh yeah it’s an Al
Harrington it goes on for a while number
bullying Meg poor Meg she really doesn’t
but deserve it or not meg is often the
brunt of many harsh jokes and violent
actions her family especially Peter
tends to ignore her and even tells her
to shut up when she’s talking dad how
could you be okay with mom parading
herself around like this
I mean she’s half-naked it makes all
women look bad Meg who let you back in
the house she’s frequently bullied at
school Peter even once hit her with a
baseball bat
and that’s not the worst thing he’s done
I can already picture my funeral
thanks didn’t want to pay for the hole
she rarely if ever gets thrown a bone
and it’s pretty conflicting can you
laugh and feel kind of awful at the same
time apparently yeah you can number 14
everyone say it with us now
what scratcher buttscratcher dancer butt
scratcher here the famous but scratchers
first appeared and no Chris left behind
when Peter was selling them at a
baseball game as a second job
buttscratcher vendors have also appeared
at the lowest Deirdre Jackson fight and
at Peter and Karen’s wrestling match we
know it’s immature but there’s just
something hilarious about grown men
dramatically yelling butt scratcher at
each other plus the whole concept of a
butt scratcher is just ridiculous number
13 Peters personal and very expensive
vehicles in the Cleveland Loretta
quagmire Peter uses both his Peter
copter and the hinder Peter to quickly
reach his destination only to crash both
of them into Joe’s property other
vehicles have appeared over the years
including the Peter rang and the Peter
dactyl but neither was as hilarious as
the original to how he found afforded or
built them is anyone’s guess regardless
Peters ludicrous personal vehicles
perfectly showcase family guy’s unique
and utterly unpredictable sense of humor
Joe I am so sorry how can you afford
these things number 12
Brian’s crappy books Brian desperately
wants to be a world renowned novelist
but nobody shares his enthusiasm good
got a nice little nice little story
you’re working on there big good novel
you’ve been working on for three years
no his first book faster than the speed
of love was an utter travesty Stewie
constantly badgered Brian about his lack
of progress Lois made fun of the title
and it sold literally zero copies Brian
Griffin’s faster than the speed of love
has astonishingly not sold a single copy
thanks to universal panning by literary
critics and while his self-help book
sold well it was a shameless cash-grab
that resulted in Brian being insulted
and humiliated on Bill Maher
and that’s another thing I have to say
aren’t wish it and want it really the
same thing I mean your book basically
makes three points and two of them the
same point
Brian’s writing careers like a car crash
we want to look away but we just can’t
help ourselves number eleven surfin
bird’ like Al Harrington and the
vaudevillians your mileage may vary on
surfin bird’ however everybody said
about the bed it appears constantly in
the episode I dream of Jesus and make
surprise cameo appearances throughout
the rest of the series and each time
it’ll either elicit an appreciable
chuckle or a groan depending on how well
the joke went over for you the first ten
times that’s annoying also like Alan the
vaudevillians the show acknowledges the
annoying nature of the joke both when
Peter unplugs the jukebox and gets hit
in the crotch with a bag of nickels
number ten giggity Quagmire’s
distinguishing characteristic is that
he’s a ladies man and a very creepy one
at that
particularly in later seasons Oh who
else but quagmire sex is always on his
mind and it seems as if he tries to
sleep with every woman he comes across
he’s made countless inappropriate jokes
and comments in his quest for pleasure
most of which are accompanied by some
variation of his ridiculous catchphrase
giggity giggity goo bang bang we don’t
know what the heck giggity giggity goo
means but then again this is quagmire
we’re talking about he’s a little weird
number nine quip I tell you what when
this is all over I’ll make you some pie
with a nice dollop of Cool Whip there it
is again why you putting so much
emphasis on the H it all started with
Stewie asking Brian for some cool whip
of course this being Stewie he decided
to annoy Brian by putting emphasis on
the H and pronouncing whip as quit oh
let me have some of that cool whip
why’d you say you can’t have a pie
without cool whip cool whip cool whip
yeah you mean cool whip
yeah cool whip cool whip cool whip cool
whip cool whip this joke has been
peated numerous times throughout the
series and has even been used on other
words like quill cretin ruined and crew
oh wait what I said you ought to be
nicer to Wil Wheaton
you mean Wil Wheaton yes Wil Wheaton why
are you saying it like that but I’m just
saying you should be nicer to Wheaton
Wheaton seems like a nice guy it’s since
become one of family guys most popular
running jokes both in and outside of the
show like who among fans hasn’t said
quip at least once in our lives who quip
I’m putting emphasis on the H sounds
right to me nothing ever bothers you
does it number eight no no we’re pretty
sure that every Family Guy fan is taken
on consuelo’s no doggy afuera
Consuela may be little more than a
stereotype but she has become one of the
show’s most popular background
characters thanks to her authoritative
attitude and hilarious monotone delivery
oh well we’re looking for a missing mr.
Superman a noise he hurt no no
catchphrase has become one of the show’s
go-to running jokes and it’s been used
in many diverse situations from denying
Joe access to the fortress of solitude
to condemning Darth Stewie for buying
generic window cleaner
this isn’t Windex but it’s just as good
it’s the store brand no it’d leave a
film I’m okay with the film just use it
no no number seven Cleveland’s house is
destroyed the Cleveland’s house gets
destroyed gag first appeared in Hell
comes to Quahog when Peter obliterates
his house with a tank it has
subsequently been destroyed by a giraffe
the flying Griffin house and even Peter
himself as a human cannonball oh hey
Cleveland the gag is so popular it was
even transferred over to the Cleveland
show and it’s since become Cleveland’s
primary contribution to Family Guy
darn it that’s it now law I’m tired of
being kicked around by this world when
someone thinks of Cleveland they
undoubtedly think of him sliding down
his ruin’d house in a bathtub number six
Stewie trying to kill Lois one of the
things we miss most about early Family
Guy is squeeze uh tur hatred towards
Lois why don’t you go in with that gun
something I should have done a very long
time ago
Stewie’s need to kill Lois was his
primary motivation in the pilot and he
was so determined that he even made a
laser gun disguise as a tuna sandwich
and a futile attempt to murder her
well that youth you staring at it’s tuna
fish nothing else this psychotic
fascination with Lois has died down in
recent years he now seems more concerned
with Brian but it was a classic running
joke of primary family guy that should
never be forgotten number five the evil
monkey family guy really loves to run
with a one-off character case in point
the evil monkey that lives or lived in
Chris’s closet the monkey was first
mentioned and seen in season two’s
dammit Janet where it displayed its
now it appeared a few more times mostly
to Chris before it was given an
extensive and sympathetic backstory in
Hanna banana which effectively killed
the joke look Chris I’m sorry if I
scared you before but this is a great
chance for us to start over
no wait is it you can fool everyone else
but you can’t fool me you go to hell
still it was good while it lasted and is
a classic example of family guys
penchant for absurd random humour
number four Conway Twitty Conway Twitty
has become the show’s most infamous
running gag and it all started in season
fives bill and Peter’s bogus journey
we had no idea what was in store for us
the joke arguably came to a head and the
juices loose when the conway bit lasted
for three whole minutes
yikes looks like I need a distraction
ladies and gentlemen mr. Conway Twitty
that’s about 15% of an entire episodes
running time fans are split on whether
the Conway gags are brilliant ballsy
jokes or lazy wastes of time but either
way you can’t deny its legacy number
three the kool-aid man in the pilot the
kool-aid man burst through the
courthouse wall with a signature oh yeah
after Peter is sentenced to prison this
happens again in Stewie kills Lois much
okay can I ask everyone to please stop
saying oh no in this courtroom cuz the
kool-aid guys don’t keep showing up but
things get really fun and back to the
pilot when Stewie and Brian distract the
kool-aid man and he misses his cue you
guys did this you guys
it’s amazing how Family Guy can take a
simple gag and do so much with it like
revisiting it and altering its outcome
via time-travel you know there are few
Family Guy knows how to make characters
you probably recognize the Family Guy
fall which is when a character collapses
with one arm behind their back but the
more famous method of falling involves a
character he usually Peter grasping
their knee and wincing in pain for
extended periods of time this is
arguably the original gag that went on
way too long but then looped back around
to being funny again joke and it’s since
become Family Guy’s signature running
gag that is except for one other
ah before we unveil our number one pick
here are some honorable mentions who
yes I know how important your success is
to your father that’s why he’ll
understand that you can never see him
again yeah of course you will
that’s very Oh number one Ernie the
giant chicken the number one spot must
go to Ernie the giant chicken oh yeah
and that nice chicken outside gave me
this coupon I’m sorry this is expired
you sort of it unlike other family guy
running gags we don’t think anyone is
tired of the giant chicken fights they
are consistently hilarious and
entertaining and they’re also expertly
animated and scored showcasing the
immense amount of talent behind the
Family Guy scenes this is a medium rare
each fight is progressively longer more
bombastic and more inventive plink the
backwards fight in yung yola mauve which
prevents the joke from becoming stale
you know that chickens kid is in my
preschool class I don’t really want to
be friends with him but he knows a lot
of chicks each time Ernie randomly shows
do you agree with our list oh no oh no
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