[Music]
hello and welcome to topics where we
can’t down the very best that YouTube
has to offer
today we’re dustin down the mic for
round 2 as we look at another top 10
epic rap battles of history for this
list we’ve gathered together another 10
of the greatest erv episodes ever aired
it’s the second time we’ve looked at the
channel so be sure to check out our
equally epic first video for more
brilliant battles number 10 eastern
philosophers vs. Western philosophers
Sean superfruit sir we set the ball
rolling with a battle royale of worldly
wisdom in the east corner
lao-tzu Sun Tzu and Confucius in the
West
Nietzsche Socrates and Voltaire six of
the sturdiest pillars in the history of
philosophy whose big ideas sound best on
the mic made their french we’ve got a
twister and the weather even i coudn’t
course chomping western medicine on
these each section Socrates and Sun Tzu
arguably sneaked an early advantage but
both teams soon discovered divisions in
their own ranks as well and then it’s
every wise man for himself
this type of arrogance is sure to be
expected from men who speak of wisdom
with no clue of what respected Nietzsche
spells it out loud to causes doubt and
Voltaire rolls back the years to remind
us all why he was so heavily censored in
the first place let me be frank
don’t start be quick be frank who hangs
with me Frank
Confucius has the final say but he just
compounds the chaos with a joke about
his genitals philosophize that so he’s a
railroad in Rouen where you love you eat
cookies
number nine Freddie Mercury versus Frank
Sinatra ha ha ha
there are two of the greatest icons of
twentieth-century music in these are
some of the most savage lines ever seen
on epic rap battles with your face baby
yikes when those kids would get voted it
out done son the fight neither Freddie
nor Frankie were especially famed for
fast rhymes but they hold nothing back
here Sinatra’s lyrics aimed straight at
Freddie sexuality while mercury makes
fun of Frank’s inferior musicality
that’s what’s wrong with you people
you’ll do anything to get famous to
change your name to mercury we should
have been Freddie Uranus it’s a clash of
pop cultural kings but the queen lead
singer seems to shade it notes annual
range you can’t act in you can’t am i
more powerful than you when i’m wearing
women’s body suit the chairman of the
board definitely does it his way and
gets under his opponents skin but as the
end draws near Freddie the Bohemian
Rhapsody xur mercury battles through
with signature style and anthemic skill
he is the champion my friends kiss my
offspring have to wait did I number
eight Bruce Lee versus Clint Eastwood
what a taste one yeah big screen
badasses don’t come more qualified than
these two Bruce Lee’s fists of fury have
landed him legendary status as martial
arts cinemas most famous son while Clint
Eastwood is the sharpest cinematic
shooter going and then Chuck too much
Ringo perfecting hips should spend more
time matching your voice up to your legs
it’s an aggressively overloaded verbal
fight but who can wield words strong
enough to win
and the bad you must be the ugly I will
mess up your face but your mama did it
for me we performs well and delivers a
middle finger to remember but eastwood
attacks where it really hurts you feel
lucky punk that’s what I’m asking you
can’t be too tough you got killed by an
ass break first he gives a minuscule
mention of Bruce’s manhood then he
finishes up with a devastating reference
to Lee’s family it takes more than a two
finger push up to come back from that
I’d be chewing round you would that be
unbelievable no one in your family ever
lives to see us number seven Michael
Jordan vs. Muhammad Ali Michael Jordan
basketball meets boxing next as MJ meets
Olli in a heavyweight clash at their
primes these two were at the very top of
their respective games and they both
know it egged on by his athletic ego
Jordan scores slam dunks on Olli
referencing his pacifism Parkinson’s
disease and brief career as a Broadway
actor just a float like a butterfly
sting like a bee now you double triple
balls got nobody to see Ali upper cuts
through the insults with rhymes about
Jordans gambling addiction his corporate
deals and his dead father now your daddy
got killed and I feel for your family
but your baseball career now that wasn’t
passionate on the one hand ali’s calling
Jordan out for staying at the Ritz is
probably the funniest fiercest and
cleverest line here McDonald’s and
underpasses corporate back up you stand
the rich because you’ve sold out to
crackers on the other hand he finishes
by dissing spacejam which is a real risk
because a lot of people love that movie
whether you sit courtside or ringside
it’s a knockout three-pointer of a
battle you need to bounce back to North
Carolina kid because you’re rapping much
more than Space Jam Z’s number six
Nikola Tesla versus Thomas Edison
understood okay the anticipation for
this matchup is really electric while
some of today’s twosomes never had any
actual beef with one another in real
life Thomas Edison and Nikola Tesla did
across.you Tesla is just no putting it
gently don’t alternate my flow like this
you directly while history remembers
Edison as a serial inventor and Tesla as
the archetypal mad scientist it’s become
increasingly clear that Edison’s light
bulb moment might not have been all his
own work history is getting bigger than
I’ve read your best invention was a war
to steal okay Tesla had visions of free
energy for everyone but Edison smothered
his scientific breakthroughs with
patents of plenty and it’s that which
forms the basis of this rap battle your
food you think that you can touch me
with this you couldn’t handle my gifts
with your greedy little mind what’s
inside mine with a head of its own time
you did not steal from me you stole me
from mankind it’s hard to say where the
power rests here but if you love science
based puns then plug into this because
this sound will always be current and if
the people knew you stop me from making
power free they would push the con
Edison with every utility number five
Rick Grimes versus Walter White because
fictional characters can rap with the
best of them The Walking Dead’s Rick
Grimes squares off with Breaking Bad’s
Walter White for an AMC showdown between
zombie killer and meth maker I don’t
know what you think I’ve done
but if we were to battle I have already
won Grimes draws lyrical inspiration
from his inherent desire to do good
compared to whites double life as a
criminal mastermind Jordan family part
sin by sin where I live it happens
literally Liam – laughs all right
your pancakes you won’t forget it I’ll
kill zombies that are better men than
you before breakfast white sees it
differently though and pitches Grimes
good nature as reason for his failure
topping it all off with a harsh reminder
of his wife’s infidelity
I’ll bury you faster than your partner’s
told your whole line when saw Shane
coming except for your wife in the end
it’s a question of courage what takes
more balls facing the undead or modeling
those Underpants your mug you’re some
fight than you can bite me I’ll be
standing right here
in my tiny wolves are whiting number
four moses versus santa claus we’re
feeling festive at four with a biblical
battle for the holiday season I’m from
the North Pole that’s why I run the so
call my spirit diamonds but absorber dr.
Rusco Snoop Dogg steps in as Moses who
doesn’t take kindly to Santa’s version
of Christmas Snoop fans will no doubt
enjoy the subtle nods to the rapper’s
own music and anyone with even the
slightest knowledge of the holy book is
sure to say a prayer for some of these
puns it takes not rain is the ho your
fat ass you took the Christ out of
Christmas that you stand alone man
santa’s burning bush / smoking weed gag
is a good one while Moses’s red sea
threat is full of the fear of God keep
your hands up document don’t you oh holy
I split your ass in half like I did the
risk
Santa slays his rival by highlighting
double standards moses gathers followers
with fat jokes whichever side you choose
it makes for an x-rated Xmas and
hilarious new year I’ll beat you 10
times before the break and rise you’ve
done and walk off into the land of my
milk
number three Rasputin versus Stalin wipe
it the poetic skills of just two
historic figures together when you can
tackle five and take on a whole nation’s
history for the season two finale erv
brings famed witch doctor Rasputin and
infamous dictator Joseph Stalin to the
mic discuss what you did to your own
people yo daddy beat you like a dog and
now don’t eat the two trade blows over
each other’s questionable ideals before
Lenin shows up in a hellish red glow and
very nearly steals the show
Oh neutral but bright do let your heart
go dog get stop the greatest revolution
since abarca there follows a crazed
appearance by Mikhail Gorbachev before a
final and quite fantastic verse by self
titled president in his prime Vladimir
Putin ah want to mess with me
I Spit hard boys when I’m crossing these
be who whose nonchalance is what wins it
for us oh and keep your eyes peeled in
this one YouTube superstar PewDiePie
guest stars as the celebrated ballet
dancer Mikhail Baryshnikov it really
does have it all I have the ball to that
brush become dance player put a nut wall
like the kool-aid man oh yeah number 2
Jack the Ripper vs. Hannibal Lecter hey
what do you get when you give a real
killer and a fictional cannibal the
chance to chase rhymes a rap that’s so
gory it’s good and so bloody it’s
brilliant dr. Lecter proves incredibly
difficult to beat during this battle
where he always seems one step ahead of
his Victorian foe and
your flesh make you want to shell out
some pretty Scotty’s competent piss and
kitty litter but Jack rips into the
psychoanalysis in verse 2 and reminds
Lecter that his crimes are just an
author’s creation what Jack the Ripper
did truly terrorize the city I’m real to
find me making vacancies in Brussels
well you only exist inside the pages up
a mill collector remains unimpressed
though and finishes with a fearsome
flourish and a nod to his most famous
film is it Jack the Lamb that silenced
or had he ripped up the competition long
before that Barney took me back to
solitary confinement is this dirty that
lamb has just been silenced Oh
before we unveil our number-one pick
here are some honorable mentions
we’re Oh show host when I flow cross
screams enough blood for through know
you work behind the scenes the run test
coming and you’re both getting cried we
Came we saw we kicked your ass place
your towels
gather up patrols in your soldier out
your ancing your orcs in your logs and
your stains your doors and can’t drain
you’re in the ring just spent time in
Alcatraz I’m sure you applied if you
drop this open in Alaska trust your eyes
and she makeup the brunch I’ll make this
quick ruining the Pirates faster to
Johnny Depp dick number one Cleopatra
versus Marilyn Monroe an Egyptian
pharaoh and a silver screen queen
Cleopatra and Marilyn Monroe were both
idolized in their own way for today’s
top battle however we bow down to the
brutality because this one is vicious
[Music]
Munroe kicks things off with a feminized
call for Cleopatra – Sukkot before Cleo
take shots at Monroe’s many sexual
conquests just sleep with any ugly Judas
says he likes it – Joe DiMaggio swing in
your batter’s box it might have turned
into a casual catfight
but then Cleopatra lays down an overdose
taunt and things get heavy I’m a
descendant of the guy still megami trick
you’ll know this battling you bounded by
bitch you wait but some like it hot and
Monroe can stand the heat her seven-year
itch put down is priceless translate
this into bliss
you have sandy vagina Pat the seven-year
itch we just can’t call this one but
epic Rap Battles doesn’t get any better
than this my face by the Diamonds you
can’t be me look us home like an
Egyptian that’s it for today’s list
which rap battle did we forget I don’t
give a shit but your friends are close
you ripped all those and a slave black
bow movies in your mid hemp bro
Thank You Seiko beat me must be having a
smoke job as always
be sure to check us out on Facebook
Instagram and Twitter
vote for upcoming lists on our suggest
page and for more great top 10s
published every day be sure to subscribe
to watchmojo.com
[Music]
you
hello and welcome to topics where we
can’t down the very best that YouTube
has to offer
today we’re dustin down the mic for
round 2 as we look at another top 10
epic rap battles of history for this
list we’ve gathered together another 10
of the greatest erv episodes ever aired
it’s the second time we’ve looked at the
channel so be sure to check out our
equally epic first video for more
brilliant battles number 10 eastern
philosophers vs. Western philosophers
Sean superfruit sir we set the ball
rolling with a battle royale of worldly
wisdom in the east corner
lao-tzu Sun Tzu and Confucius in the
West
Nietzsche Socrates and Voltaire six of
the sturdiest pillars in the history of
philosophy whose big ideas sound best on
the mic made their french we’ve got a
twister and the weather even i coudn’t
course chomping western medicine on
these each section Socrates and Sun Tzu
arguably sneaked an early advantage but
both teams soon discovered divisions in
their own ranks as well and then it’s
every wise man for himself
this type of arrogance is sure to be
expected from men who speak of wisdom
with no clue of what respected Nietzsche
spells it out loud to causes doubt and
Voltaire rolls back the years to remind
us all why he was so heavily censored in
the first place let me be frank
don’t start be quick be frank who hangs
with me Frank
Confucius has the final say but he just
compounds the chaos with a joke about
his genitals philosophize that so he’s a
railroad in Rouen where you love you eat
cookies
number nine Freddie Mercury versus Frank
Sinatra ha ha ha
there are two of the greatest icons of
twentieth-century music in these are
some of the most savage lines ever seen
on epic rap battles with your face baby
yikes when those kids would get voted it
out done son the fight neither Freddie
nor Frankie were especially famed for
fast rhymes but they hold nothing back
here Sinatra’s lyrics aimed straight at
Freddie sexuality while mercury makes
fun of Frank’s inferior musicality
that’s what’s wrong with you people
you’ll do anything to get famous to
change your name to mercury we should
have been Freddie Uranus it’s a clash of
pop cultural kings but the queen lead
singer seems to shade it notes annual
range you can’t act in you can’t am i
more powerful than you when i’m wearing
women’s body suit the chairman of the
board definitely does it his way and
gets under his opponents skin but as the
end draws near Freddie the Bohemian
Rhapsody xur mercury battles through
with signature style and anthemic skill
he is the champion my friends kiss my
offspring have to wait did I number
eight Bruce Lee versus Clint Eastwood
what a taste one yeah big screen
badasses don’t come more qualified than
these two Bruce Lee’s fists of fury have
landed him legendary status as martial
arts cinemas most famous son while Clint
Eastwood is the sharpest cinematic
shooter going and then Chuck too much
Ringo perfecting hips should spend more
time matching your voice up to your legs
it’s an aggressively overloaded verbal
fight but who can wield words strong
enough to win
and the bad you must be the ugly I will
mess up your face but your mama did it
for me we performs well and delivers a
middle finger to remember but eastwood
attacks where it really hurts you feel
lucky punk that’s what I’m asking you
can’t be too tough you got killed by an
ass break first he gives a minuscule
mention of Bruce’s manhood then he
finishes up with a devastating reference
to Lee’s family it takes more than a two
finger push up to come back from that
I’d be chewing round you would that be
unbelievable no one in your family ever
lives to see us number seven Michael
Jordan vs. Muhammad Ali Michael Jordan
basketball meets boxing next as MJ meets
Olli in a heavyweight clash at their
primes these two were at the very top of
their respective games and they both
know it egged on by his athletic ego
Jordan scores slam dunks on Olli
referencing his pacifism Parkinson’s
disease and brief career as a Broadway
actor just a float like a butterfly
sting like a bee now you double triple
balls got nobody to see Ali upper cuts
through the insults with rhymes about
Jordans gambling addiction his corporate
deals and his dead father now your daddy
got killed and I feel for your family
but your baseball career now that wasn’t
passionate on the one hand ali’s calling
Jordan out for staying at the Ritz is
probably the funniest fiercest and
cleverest line here McDonald’s and
underpasses corporate back up you stand
the rich because you’ve sold out to
crackers on the other hand he finishes
by dissing spacejam which is a real risk
because a lot of people love that movie
whether you sit courtside or ringside
it’s a knockout three-pointer of a
battle you need to bounce back to North
Carolina kid because you’re rapping much
more than Space Jam Z’s number six
Nikola Tesla versus Thomas Edison
understood okay the anticipation for
this matchup is really electric while
some of today’s twosomes never had any
actual beef with one another in real
life Thomas Edison and Nikola Tesla did
across.you Tesla is just no putting it
gently don’t alternate my flow like this
you directly while history remembers
Edison as a serial inventor and Tesla as
the archetypal mad scientist it’s become
increasingly clear that Edison’s light
bulb moment might not have been all his
own work history is getting bigger than
I’ve read your best invention was a war
to steal okay Tesla had visions of free
energy for everyone but Edison smothered
his scientific breakthroughs with
patents of plenty and it’s that which
forms the basis of this rap battle your
food you think that you can touch me
with this you couldn’t handle my gifts
with your greedy little mind what’s
inside mine with a head of its own time
you did not steal from me you stole me
from mankind it’s hard to say where the
power rests here but if you love science
based puns then plug into this because
this sound will always be current and if
the people knew you stop me from making
power free they would push the con
Edison with every utility number five
Rick Grimes versus Walter White because
fictional characters can rap with the
best of them The Walking Dead’s Rick
Grimes squares off with Breaking Bad’s
Walter White for an AMC showdown between
zombie killer and meth maker I don’t
know what you think I’ve done
but if we were to battle I have already
won Grimes draws lyrical inspiration
from his inherent desire to do good
compared to whites double life as a
criminal mastermind Jordan family part
sin by sin where I live it happens
literally Liam – laughs all right
your pancakes you won’t forget it I’ll
kill zombies that are better men than
you before breakfast white sees it
differently though and pitches Grimes
good nature as reason for his failure
topping it all off with a harsh reminder
of his wife’s infidelity
I’ll bury you faster than your partner’s
told your whole line when saw Shane
coming except for your wife in the end
it’s a question of courage what takes
more balls facing the undead or modeling
those Underpants your mug you’re some
fight than you can bite me I’ll be
standing right here
in my tiny wolves are whiting number
four moses versus santa claus we’re
feeling festive at four with a biblical
battle for the holiday season I’m from
the North Pole that’s why I run the so
call my spirit diamonds but absorber dr.
Rusco Snoop Dogg steps in as Moses who
doesn’t take kindly to Santa’s version
of Christmas Snoop fans will no doubt
enjoy the subtle nods to the rapper’s
own music and anyone with even the
slightest knowledge of the holy book is
sure to say a prayer for some of these
puns it takes not rain is the ho your
fat ass you took the Christ out of
Christmas that you stand alone man
santa’s burning bush / smoking weed gag
is a good one while Moses’s red sea
threat is full of the fear of God keep
your hands up document don’t you oh holy
I split your ass in half like I did the
risk
Santa slays his rival by highlighting
double standards moses gathers followers
with fat jokes whichever side you choose
it makes for an x-rated Xmas and
hilarious new year I’ll beat you 10
times before the break and rise you’ve
done and walk off into the land of my
milk
number three Rasputin versus Stalin wipe
it the poetic skills of just two
historic figures together when you can
tackle five and take on a whole nation’s
history for the season two finale erv
brings famed witch doctor Rasputin and
infamous dictator Joseph Stalin to the
mic discuss what you did to your own
people yo daddy beat you like a dog and
now don’t eat the two trade blows over
each other’s questionable ideals before
Lenin shows up in a hellish red glow and
very nearly steals the show
Oh neutral but bright do let your heart
go dog get stop the greatest revolution
since abarca there follows a crazed
appearance by Mikhail Gorbachev before a
final and quite fantastic verse by self
titled president in his prime Vladimir
Putin ah want to mess with me
I Spit hard boys when I’m crossing these
be who whose nonchalance is what wins it
for us oh and keep your eyes peeled in
this one YouTube superstar PewDiePie
guest stars as the celebrated ballet
dancer Mikhail Baryshnikov it really
does have it all I have the ball to that
brush become dance player put a nut wall
like the kool-aid man oh yeah number 2
Jack the Ripper vs. Hannibal Lecter hey
what do you get when you give a real
killer and a fictional cannibal the
chance to chase rhymes a rap that’s so
gory it’s good and so bloody it’s
brilliant dr. Lecter proves incredibly
difficult to beat during this battle
where he always seems one step ahead of
his Victorian foe and
your flesh make you want to shell out
some pretty Scotty’s competent piss and
kitty litter but Jack rips into the
psychoanalysis in verse 2 and reminds
Lecter that his crimes are just an
author’s creation what Jack the Ripper
did truly terrorize the city I’m real to
find me making vacancies in Brussels
well you only exist inside the pages up
a mill collector remains unimpressed
though and finishes with a fearsome
flourish and a nod to his most famous
film is it Jack the Lamb that silenced
or had he ripped up the competition long
before that Barney took me back to
solitary confinement is this dirty that
lamb has just been silenced Oh
before we unveil our number-one pick
here are some honorable mentions
we’re Oh show host when I flow cross
screams enough blood for through know
you work behind the scenes the run test
coming and you’re both getting cried we
Came we saw we kicked your ass place
your towels
gather up patrols in your soldier out
your ancing your orcs in your logs and
your stains your doors and can’t drain
you’re in the ring just spent time in
Alcatraz I’m sure you applied if you
drop this open in Alaska trust your eyes
and she makeup the brunch I’ll make this
quick ruining the Pirates faster to
Johnny Depp dick number one Cleopatra
versus Marilyn Monroe an Egyptian
pharaoh and a silver screen queen
Cleopatra and Marilyn Monroe were both
idolized in their own way for today’s
top battle however we bow down to the
brutality because this one is vicious
[Music]
Munroe kicks things off with a feminized
call for Cleopatra – Sukkot before Cleo
take shots at Monroe’s many sexual
conquests just sleep with any ugly Judas
says he likes it – Joe DiMaggio swing in
your batter’s box it might have turned
into a casual catfight
but then Cleopatra lays down an overdose
taunt and things get heavy I’m a
descendant of the guy still megami trick
you’ll know this battling you bounded by
bitch you wait but some like it hot and
Monroe can stand the heat her seven-year
itch put down is priceless translate
this into bliss
you have sandy vagina Pat the seven-year
itch we just can’t call this one but
epic Rap Battles doesn’t get any better
than this my face by the Diamonds you
can’t be me look us home like an
Egyptian that’s it for today’s list
which rap battle did we forget I don’t
give a shit but your friends are close
you ripped all those and a slave black
bow movies in your mid hemp bro
Thank You Seiko beat me must be having a
smoke job as always
be sure to check us out on Facebook
Instagram and Twitter
vote for upcoming lists on our suggest
page and for more great top 10s
published every day be sure to subscribe
to watchmojo.com
[Music]
you
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