you are everything you need but you are
the only thing in the way how many times
have we heard this voice in our head it
tells us I can’t I shouldn’t I’m not
enough what if I fail its phrases like
these it creates subconscious boundaries
shielding ourselves from negative
emotions but limiting our potential
where does this voice come from and
where does it take us it starts when you
find something new but uncertain it
could be a job an internship a
relationship you’re excited and you’re
ready to take it on and then you start
to think of the future the interview the
applications meetings of scheduling this
is when that voice pops into your mind
but this time it digs deeper into your
insecurities it starts to tell you
things like other people are better than
me that I’m not worthy qualified fit
enough for this we are constantly
comparing ourselves to people we
interact with every day according to the
social comparison theory by American
sociologist Leon Festinger we determine
our social and personal worth based on
how we stack up against others we focus
on attractiveness intelligence wealth
and success we categorize and label each
other to figure out who we are where we
stand and how to interact I compare
myself to my classmates the ones who
always seem to know their answer and
know the answer and raise their hand in
class or all the people that I see as I
scroll through my social media feeds the
voice in our head is rooted in this
social comparison and latches on to our
insecurities and as the voice digs
deeper and the social comparison
continues we create limits trying to
define who we are and what we’re
comfortable with this is what we’re
going to call a wall and every
rationalize reason you give yourself not
to do something is another brick on that
wall rationalize reason after reason
brick after brick these walls are
constructed by you and only you
but supplied by the company that you
keep and before you even know what you
have just
a self-made comfort zone bounded by the
walls that you have built and as the
process continues
they grow thicker and higher becoming
increasingly more difficult to break
down we do this because our minds go
into survival the fittest mode it tells
us that we have to compete for scarce
resources that others are a threat to
our existence this instinct is
beneficial and keeping us safe and out
of danger but becomes detrimental when
our minds begin to tell us that our
lives are threatened by more qualified
classmate or colleague we do this when
we were feeling uncomfortable and
unprotected we went to avoid feeling
negative emotions like guilt shame pain
disappointment and fear so we managed to
give ourselves every reason not to feel
them think of the consequences of
continuing to shield yourself like this
you will soon find yourself suffocated
and overpowered by the walls that you
have built no longer able to grow within
the confines of your self-made comfort
zone your walls will soon limit your
opportunities view movement and future
Leon Festinger says it himself
these inaccurate appraisals of your
abilities can be detrimental and even
fatal remember you owe it to yourself to
accept and grow towards your full
potential reclaiming your power thinking
on a larger scale you owe it to your
community what if we all stayed within
the confines of our self-made comfort
zone never testing those boundaries
there would be no progress towards
positive change it is important and
healthy to continually test your
boundaries expand your comfort zone and
break down your walls now this is a
daunting task especially since these
walls have been built over years and
even a lifetime and it’s not going to be
a quick and easy fix but what helped me
was breaking it down into three more
manageable steps notice defy and go for
it when you notice you are aware of who
and what triggers you to become
defensive and prepare to build your
walls you’ll understand where that voice
in social comparison comes from but most
importantly you have to understand why
next you will defy people will always
supply you with them
Terios to build your walls but you are
the only person to decide not to build
them talk back to that voice in your
head
it may seem unnatural and uncomfortable
at first but know that you have the
power within yourself to be able to
persist and decide not to act on how you
were feeling and what you were telling
yourself and finally go for it you’ve
just created a path free of boundaries
and walls this is your time to do what
you told yourself you couldn’t and to be
who you thought you weren’t reclaiming
your power and potential I recently
completed these three steps in
developing this talk there are so many
points along the way where I could have
given in to that voice in my head and
all the rationalize reasons to back out
this application could have joined all
of the other half completed and even
completed applications sitting in my
documents never to be submitted because
I continually convinced myself I was not
good enough I wasn’t worth it that other
people deserved it more than I did I
noticed I noticed it began to tell
myself that this was for people who had
actually done things with their lives
the PhD is and the child geniuses of the
world and that was just not me I even
began to anticipate the anxiety I would
feel standing on this red circle with
nowhere to hide from my mistakes I dug
deeper and I realized this was rooted in
a long-held insecurity with my
intelligence and fear of failure and
disappointment I defied I decided not to
act on how I was feeling and what I was
telling myself I talked back to that
voice in my head I told it that I was
enough that I could do this that I have
all the power within myself to be able
to do it and finally I went for it and
here I stand determined to break down my
walls and step out of my comfort zone
because without boundaries I and
limitless when you are no longer the
only thing in the way what’s stopping
you thank you you
the only thing in the way how many times
have we heard this voice in our head it
tells us I can’t I shouldn’t I’m not
enough what if I fail its phrases like
these it creates subconscious boundaries
shielding ourselves from negative
emotions but limiting our potential
where does this voice come from and
where does it take us it starts when you
find something new but uncertain it
could be a job an internship a
relationship you’re excited and you’re
ready to take it on and then you start
to think of the future the interview the
applications meetings of scheduling this
is when that voice pops into your mind
but this time it digs deeper into your
insecurities it starts to tell you
things like other people are better than
me that I’m not worthy qualified fit
enough for this we are constantly
comparing ourselves to people we
interact with every day according to the
social comparison theory by American
sociologist Leon Festinger we determine
our social and personal worth based on
how we stack up against others we focus
on attractiveness intelligence wealth
and success we categorize and label each
other to figure out who we are where we
stand and how to interact I compare
myself to my classmates the ones who
always seem to know their answer and
know the answer and raise their hand in
class or all the people that I see as I
scroll through my social media feeds the
voice in our head is rooted in this
social comparison and latches on to our
insecurities and as the voice digs
deeper and the social comparison
continues we create limits trying to
define who we are and what we’re
comfortable with this is what we’re
going to call a wall and every
rationalize reason you give yourself not
to do something is another brick on that
wall rationalize reason after reason
brick after brick these walls are
constructed by you and only you
but supplied by the company that you
keep and before you even know what you
have just
a self-made comfort zone bounded by the
walls that you have built and as the
process continues
they grow thicker and higher becoming
increasingly more difficult to break
down we do this because our minds go
into survival the fittest mode it tells
us that we have to compete for scarce
resources that others are a threat to
our existence this instinct is
beneficial and keeping us safe and out
of danger but becomes detrimental when
our minds begin to tell us that our
lives are threatened by more qualified
classmate or colleague we do this when
we were feeling uncomfortable and
unprotected we went to avoid feeling
negative emotions like guilt shame pain
disappointment and fear so we managed to
give ourselves every reason not to feel
them think of the consequences of
continuing to shield yourself like this
you will soon find yourself suffocated
and overpowered by the walls that you
have built no longer able to grow within
the confines of your self-made comfort
zone your walls will soon limit your
opportunities view movement and future
Leon Festinger says it himself
these inaccurate appraisals of your
abilities can be detrimental and even
fatal remember you owe it to yourself to
accept and grow towards your full
potential reclaiming your power thinking
on a larger scale you owe it to your
community what if we all stayed within
the confines of our self-made comfort
zone never testing those boundaries
there would be no progress towards
positive change it is important and
healthy to continually test your
boundaries expand your comfort zone and
break down your walls now this is a
daunting task especially since these
walls have been built over years and
even a lifetime and it’s not going to be
a quick and easy fix but what helped me
was breaking it down into three more
manageable steps notice defy and go for
it when you notice you are aware of who
and what triggers you to become
defensive and prepare to build your
walls you’ll understand where that voice
in social comparison comes from but most
importantly you have to understand why
next you will defy people will always
supply you with them
Terios to build your walls but you are
the only person to decide not to build
them talk back to that voice in your
head
it may seem unnatural and uncomfortable
at first but know that you have the
power within yourself to be able to
persist and decide not to act on how you
were feeling and what you were telling
yourself and finally go for it you’ve
just created a path free of boundaries
and walls this is your time to do what
you told yourself you couldn’t and to be
who you thought you weren’t reclaiming
your power and potential I recently
completed these three steps in
developing this talk there are so many
points along the way where I could have
given in to that voice in my head and
all the rationalize reasons to back out
this application could have joined all
of the other half completed and even
completed applications sitting in my
documents never to be submitted because
I continually convinced myself I was not
good enough I wasn’t worth it that other
people deserved it more than I did I
noticed I noticed it began to tell
myself that this was for people who had
actually done things with their lives
the PhD is and the child geniuses of the
world and that was just not me I even
began to anticipate the anxiety I would
feel standing on this red circle with
nowhere to hide from my mistakes I dug
deeper and I realized this was rooted in
a long-held insecurity with my
intelligence and fear of failure and
disappointment I defied I decided not to
act on how I was feeling and what I was
telling myself I talked back to that
voice in my head I told it that I was
enough that I could do this that I have
all the power within myself to be able
to do it and finally I went for it and
here I stand determined to break down my
walls and step out of my comfort zone
because without boundaries I and
limitless when you are no longer the
only thing in the way what’s stopping
you thank you you
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