[Music]
[Music] you
I a few years ago my daughter and I
I a few years ago my daughter and I attended her baseball league screening
attended her baseball league screening
attended her baseball league screening of the 1993 film the Sandlot it’s a
of the 1993 film the Sandlot it’s a
of the 1993 film the Sandlot it’s a coming-of-age story about a group of
coming-of-age story about a group of
coming-of-age story about a group of preteen boys who are learning about life
preteen boys who are learning about life
preteen boys who are learning about life and discover their love of baseball the
and discover their love of baseball the
and discover their love of baseball the film has very few female characters in
film has very few female characters in
film has very few female characters in it and one of them is a lifeguard that
it and one of them is a lifeguard that
it and one of them is a lifeguard that all the boys have a crush on and in one
all the boys have a crush on and in one
all the boys have a crush on and in one scene one of the boys pretends to drown
scene one of the boys pretends to drown
scene one of the boys pretends to drown so that the lifeguard will jump in
so that the lifeguard will jump in
so that the lifeguard will jump in rescue him and begin giving him
rescue him and begin giving him
rescue him and begin giving him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation at which
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation at which
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation at which point she grat he grabs her by the head
point she grat he grabs her by the head
point she grat he grabs her by the head and begins kissing her afterwards one of
and begins kissing her afterwards one of
and begins kissing her afterwards one of the other boys voiceover comes on and he
the other boys voiceover comes on and he
the other boys voiceover comes on and he says what he had done was sneaky rotten
says what he had done was sneaky rotten
says what he had done was sneaky rotten and low and cool because he had had the
and low and cool because he had had the
and low and cool because he had had the guts to kiss a woman long and good right
guts to kiss a woman long and good right
guts to kiss a woman long and good right then I realized that these are the types
then I realized that these are the types
then I realized that these are the types of scenes that are going by often
of scenes that are going by often
of scenes that are going by often without our notice or comment and yet
without our notice or comment and yet
without our notice or comment and yet they are the ones that are teaching us
they are the ones that are teaching us
they are the ones that are teaching us and our children about consent although
and our children about consent although
and our children about consent although as parents and educators and coaches we
as parents and educators and coaches we
as parents and educators and coaches we were careful to shield our children from
were careful to shield our children from
were careful to shield our children from scenes of explicit violence and sex we
scenes of explicit violence and sex we
scenes of explicit violence and sex we were still sharing stories of coercion
were still sharing stories of coercion
were still sharing stories of coercion that were somehow supposed to be funny
that were somehow supposed to be funny
that were somehow supposed to be funny or harmless or admirable throughout my
or harmless or admirable throughout my
or harmless or admirable throughout my career I have worked as a filmmaker a
career I have worked as a filmmaker a
career I have worked as a filmmaker a film journalist and a professor having
film journalist and a professor having
film journalist and a professor having spent the last several years studying
spent the last several years studying
spent the last several years studying stories of consent I believe that there
stories of consent I believe that there
stories of consent I believe that there is a key obstacle to our understanding
is a key obstacle to our understanding
is a key obstacle to our understanding consent better and reducing sexual
consent better and reducing sexual
consent better and reducing sexual assault although we say no means no and
assault although we say no means no and
assault although we say no means no and yes means yes we continue to see and
yes means yes we continue to see and
yes means yes we continue to see and share stories where no means maybe or no
share stories where no means maybe or no
share stories where no means maybe or no means try harder in short our stories of
means try harder in short our stories of
means try harder in short our stories of seduction are too often stories of
seduction are too often stories of
seduction are too often stories of courage coercion
courage coercion
courage coercion when I say a seduction story I mean the
when I say a seduction story I mean the
when I say a seduction story I mean the classic boy meets girl story but these
classic boy meets girl story but these
classic boy meets girl story but these require more drastic measures
require more drastic measures
require more drastic measures to see disguise degradation and
to see disguise degradation and
to see disguise degradation and typically a touch of violence let’s
typically a touch of violence let’s
typically a touch of violence let’s review this range of sexual experiences
review this range of sexual experiences
review this range of sexual experiences on the one hand we have yes means yes
on the one hand we have yes means yes
on the one hand we have yes means yes which includes consensual sex mutual
which includes consensual sex mutual
which includes consensual sex mutual desire and willingness on the other hand
desire and willingness on the other hand
desire and willingness on the other hand we have no means no which includes
we have no means no which includes
we have no means no which includes sexual assault coercion and
sexual assault coercion and
sexual assault coercion and unwillingness but what I’m suggesting is
unwillingness but what I’m suggesting is
unwillingness but what I’m suggesting is that we continue to blur the two and
that we continue to blur the two and
that we continue to blur the two and that is what I mean by seduction
that is what I mean by seduction
that is what I mean by seduction depending on how a situation is read by
depending on how a situation is read by
depending on how a situation is read by the participants and by others a
the participants and by others a
the participants and by others a seduction might be seen as persuading a
seduction might be seen as persuading a
seduction might be seen as persuading a willing participant or coercing an
willing participant or coercing an
willing participant or coercing an unwilling participant this pattern
unwilling participant this pattern
unwilling participant this pattern exists across the gender spectrum and
exists across the gender spectrum and
exists across the gender spectrum and sexual preferences and I want to be
sexual preferences and I want to be
sexual preferences and I want to be clear that I don’t see seduction as a
clear that I don’t see seduction as a
clear that I don’t see seduction as a gray area I see it more as a yellow
gray area I see it more as a yellow
gray area I see it more as a yellow proceed with caution zone seduction
proceed with caution zone seduction
proceed with caution zone seduction depicts sex as a conquest as a hunt
depicts sex as a conquest as a hunt
depicts sex as a conquest as a hunt between pursuer and pursued think of the
between pursuer and pursued think of the
between pursuer and pursued think of the film Fifty Shades of Grey in which
film Fifty Shades of Grey in which
film Fifty Shades of Grey in which college student Anastasia Steele is
college student Anastasia Steele is
college student Anastasia Steele is seduced by the billionaire Christian
seduced by the billionaire Christian
seduced by the billionaire Christian Grey Christian is so obsessed with
Grey Christian is so obsessed with
Grey Christian is so obsessed with consent that he actually draws out a
consent that he actually draws out a
consent that he actually draws out a very detailed written contract for
very detailed written contract for
very detailed written contract for Anastasia which she actually never signs
Anastasia which she actually never signs
Anastasia which she actually never signs but as part of his seduction he enters
but as part of his seduction he enters
but as part of his seduction he enters her apartment he undresses her when
her apartment he undresses her when
her apartment he undresses her when she’s unconscious and he sells her car
she’s unconscious and he sells her car
she’s unconscious and he sells her car all without her permission so many were
all without her permission so many were
all without her permission so many were disturbed when the film’s screenwriter
disturbed when the film’s screenwriter
disturbed when the film’s screenwriter said that Christian was an old-fashioned
said that Christian was an old-fashioned
said that Christian was an old-fashioned and romantic hero but in fact the story
and romantic hero but in fact the story
and romantic hero but in fact the story is not new many of you from my
is not new many of you from my
is not new many of you from my generation will probably recall how we
generation will probably recall how we
generation will probably recall how we all saw or wanted to see the 1986 film
all saw or wanted to see the 1986 film
all saw or wanted to see the 1986 film nine and a half weeks specifically for
nine and a half weeks specifically for
nine and a half weeks specifically for its sex scenes tinged with violence but
its sex scenes tinged with violence but
its sex scenes tinged with violence but it goes much further back than that
it goes much further back than that
it goes much further back than that there’s Shakespeare’s The Taming of a
there’s Shakespeare’s The Taming of a
there’s Shakespeare’s The Taming of a shrew in which Petruchio breaks down the
shrew in which Petruchio breaks down the
shrew in which Petruchio breaks down the defenses of Kate who initially has no
defenses of Kate who initially has no
defenses of Kate who initially has no interest in Petruchio or any men for
interest in Petruchio or any men for
interest in Petruchio or any men for that matter and if to give you a sense
that matter and if to give you a sense
that matter and if to give you a sense of how far back this theme actually goes
of how far back this theme actually goes
of how far back this theme actually goes we can look at Greek mythology where the
we can look at Greek mythology where the
we can look at Greek mythology where the goddess Hera initially turned down
goddess Hera initially turned down
goddess Hera initially turned down Zeus’s marriage proposal so he disguises
Zeus’s marriage proposal so he disguises
Zeus’s marriage proposal so he disguises himself as a bird at her window and when
himself as a bird at her window and when
himself as a bird at her window and when she lets him in he rapes her and then
she lets him in he rapes her and then
she lets him in he rapes her and then she accepts his marriage proposal
seduction stories sometimes at first
seduction stories sometimes at first glance can seem perfectly harmless think
glance can seem perfectly harmless think
glance can seem perfectly harmless think of the television television series
of the television television series
of the television television series stranger things in which Nancy’s
stranger things in which Nancy’s
stranger things in which Nancy’s boyfriend Steve takes her nose the way a
boyfriend Steve takes her nose the way a
boyfriend Steve takes her nose the way a Salesman would try harder he refuses she
Salesman would try harder he refuses she
Salesman would try harder he refuses she refuses to meet him sorry she refuses to
refuses to meet him sorry she refuses to
refuses to meet him sorry she refuses to meet him so he climbs in her window she
meet him so he climbs in her window she
meet him so he climbs in her window she avoids his kiss so he tries again
avoids his kiss so he tries again
avoids his kiss so he tries again similarly the way that Tom who’s Anne
similarly the way that Tom who’s Anne
similarly the way that Tom who’s Anne and parks a trek is intended to convert
and parks a trek is intended to convert
and parks a trek is intended to convert her no to a yes and the vast majority of
her no to a yes and the vast majority of
her no to a yes and the vast majority of teen sex comedy from American Pie to
teen sex comedy from American Pie to
teen sex comedy from American Pie to super bad depicts young men who are
super bad depicts young men who are
super bad depicts young men who are obsessed with seducing young women such
obsessed with seducing young women such
obsessed with seducing young women such a blurring of consent and coercion is no
a blurring of consent and coercion is no
a blurring of consent and coercion is no less unsettling when the gender roles
less unsettling when the gender roles
less unsettling when the gender roles are swapped consider how a film like The
are swapped consider how a film like The
are swapped consider how a film like The Graduate simply changes the aggressor to
Graduate simply changes the aggressor to
Graduate simply changes the aggressor to the older female character who pursues
the older female character who pursues
the older female character who pursues her younger innocent male counterpart
her younger innocent male counterpart
her younger innocent male counterpart and this is also started to make its
and this is also started to make its
and this is also started to make its appearance in more recent teen comedies
appearance in more recent teen comedies
appearance in more recent teen comedies like blockers and the to-do list where
like blockers and the to-do list where
like blockers and the to-do list where girls are actively pursuing their own
girls are actively pursuing their own
girls are actively pursuing their own sexual exploits sometimes without
sexual exploits sometimes without
sexual exploits sometimes without thinking that they need to get the
thinking that they need to get the
thinking that they need to get the consent of their male partners first the
consent of their male partners first the
consent of their male partners first the issue is that this is not just the
issue is that this is not just the
issue is that this is not just the domain affection one in three women are
domain affection one in three women are
domain affection one in three women are sexually assaulted in their lifetime and
sexually assaulted in their lifetime and
sexually assaulted in their lifetime and one in six men are – the majority of
one in six men are – the majority of
one in six men are – the majority of sexual assaults go unreported just to
sexual assaults go unreported just to
sexual assaults go unreported just to highlight one example 80
highlight one example 80
highlight one example 80 percent of sexual assaults on female
percent of sexual assaults on female
percent of sexual assaults on female college students between 1995 and 2013
college students between 1995 and 2013
college students between 1995 and 2013 were not reported to the police
were not reported to the police
were not reported to the police according to the Department of Justice
according to the Department of Justice
according to the Department of Justice so when we highlight an issue like
so when we highlight an issue like
so when we highlight an issue like campus sexual violence by only talking
campus sexual violence by only talking
campus sexual violence by only talking about the black and white situations we
about the black and white situations we
about the black and white situations we are missing an opportunity to talk about
are missing an opportunity to talk about
are missing an opportunity to talk about the cases in this yellow zone one of the
the cases in this yellow zone one of the
the cases in this yellow zone one of the issues with sexual consent is that we
issues with sexual consent is that we
issues with sexual consent is that we typically don’t obtain it in writing
typically don’t obtain it in writing
typically don’t obtain it in writing maybe some of you do but in writing or
maybe some of you do but in writing or
maybe some of you do but in writing or even verbally necessarily and so we rely
even verbally necessarily and so we rely
even verbally necessarily and so we rely on behavior we know that this can lead
on behavior we know that this can lead
on behavior we know that this can lead to problems a common example is that
to problems a common example is that
to problems a common example is that someone’s laughter might be seen as
someone’s laughter might be seen as
someone’s laughter might be seen as consent but it actually might mean that
consent but it actually might mean that
consent but it actually might mean that the person is really nervous and not
the person is really nervous and not
the person is really nervous and not sure how to say no part of the way that
sure how to say no part of the way that
sure how to say no part of the way that we learn to behave is through stories
we learn to behave is through stories
we learn to behave is through stories and stories are not just movies and
and stories are not just movies and
and stories are not just movies and television they’re lessons at school
television they’re lessons at school
television they’re lessons at school they’re things that our parents tell us
they’re things that our parents tell us
they’re things that our parents tell us stories that our friends tell us and
stories that our friends tell us and
stories that our friends tell us and things that we see in the news and media
things that we see in the news and media
things that we see in the news and media any story about sex is also a story
any story about sex is also a story
any story about sex is also a story about sexual consent so what are we
about sexual consent so what are we
about sexual consent so what are we learning sexual violence prevention
learning sexual violence prevention
learning sexual violence prevention coordinator and writer Brad Perry talks
coordinator and writer Brad Perry talks
coordinator and writer Brad Perry talks about how when he was younger he learned
about how when he was younger he learned
about how when he was younger he learned from friends that seducing girls
from friends that seducing girls
from friends that seducing girls required loosening agents like drugs and
required loosening agents like drugs and
required loosening agents like drugs and alcohol it wasn’t until a female friend
alcohol it wasn’t until a female friend
alcohol it wasn’t until a female friend of his was raped and attempted suicide
of his was raped and attempted suicide
of his was raped and attempted suicide that he realized how similar his own
that he realized how similar his own
that he realized how similar his own tactics were to those of her rapist
tactics were to those of her rapist
tactics were to those of her rapist admissions like these are too few and
admissions like these are too few and
admissions like these are too few and far between on the flip side girls are
far between on the flip side girls are
far between on the flip side girls are still too often discouraged from seeing
still too often discouraged from seeing
still too often discouraged from seeing themselves as sexual agents because of
themselves as sexual agents because of
themselves as sexual agents because of persistent double standards and
persistent double standards and
persistent double standards and slut-shaming girls are still often
slut-shaming girls are still often
slut-shaming girls are still often responding to the advances of their male
responding to the advances of their male
responding to the advances of their male partners rather than knowing what they
partners rather than knowing what they
partners rather than knowing what they want sexually and initiating it in my
want sexually and initiating it in my
want sexually and initiating it in my own studies of gender study but in my
own studies of gender study but in my
own studies of gender study but in my own Gender Studies classes I’ve asked
own Gender Studies classes I’ve asked
own Gender Studies classes I’ve asked students what did you learn in sex
students what did you learn in sex
students what did you learn in sex education
education
education and what did you want to learn and every
and what did you want to learn and every
and what did you want to learn and every year it’s very similar what they learned
year it’s very similar what they learned
year it’s very similar what they learned about was sexually transmitted diseases
about was sexually transmitted diseases
about was sexually transmitted diseases abstinence and pregnancy but what they
abstinence and pregnancy but what they
abstinence and pregnancy but what they wanted to learn about was consent
wanted to learn about was consent
wanted to learn about was consent assault pleasure and relationships so I
assault pleasure and relationships so I
assault pleasure and relationships so I love films and I’m going to continue
love films and I’m going to continue
love films and I’m going to continue sharing them with my children but when I
sharing them with my children but when I
sharing them with my children but when I see a scene that I know is wrong I’m
see a scene that I know is wrong I’m
see a scene that I know is wrong I’m going to have a conversation with them
going to have a conversation with them
going to have a conversation with them about it I also am continuing to seek
about it I also am continuing to seek
about it I also am continuing to seek out stories that are better seduction
out stories that are better seduction
out stories that are better seduction stories I know that by changing the
stories I know that by changing the
stories I know that by changing the stories that we tell we can change how
stories that we tell we can change how
stories that we tell we can change how we think about consent and how we act
we think about consent and how we act
we think about consent and how we act with sexual consent thank you
with sexual consent thank you
with sexual consent thank you [Applause]
[Music] you
I a few years ago my daughter and I
I a few years ago my daughter and I attended her baseball league screening
attended her baseball league screening
attended her baseball league screening of the 1993 film the Sandlot it’s a
of the 1993 film the Sandlot it’s a
of the 1993 film the Sandlot it’s a coming-of-age story about a group of
coming-of-age story about a group of
coming-of-age story about a group of preteen boys who are learning about life
preteen boys who are learning about life
preteen boys who are learning about life and discover their love of baseball the
and discover their love of baseball the
and discover their love of baseball the film has very few female characters in
film has very few female characters in
film has very few female characters in it and one of them is a lifeguard that
it and one of them is a lifeguard that
it and one of them is a lifeguard that all the boys have a crush on and in one
all the boys have a crush on and in one
all the boys have a crush on and in one scene one of the boys pretends to drown
scene one of the boys pretends to drown
scene one of the boys pretends to drown so that the lifeguard will jump in
so that the lifeguard will jump in
so that the lifeguard will jump in rescue him and begin giving him
rescue him and begin giving him
rescue him and begin giving him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation at which
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation at which
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation at which point she grat he grabs her by the head
point she grat he grabs her by the head
point she grat he grabs her by the head and begins kissing her afterwards one of
and begins kissing her afterwards one of
and begins kissing her afterwards one of the other boys voiceover comes on and he
the other boys voiceover comes on and he
the other boys voiceover comes on and he says what he had done was sneaky rotten
says what he had done was sneaky rotten
says what he had done was sneaky rotten and low and cool because he had had the
and low and cool because he had had the
and low and cool because he had had the guts to kiss a woman long and good right
guts to kiss a woman long and good right
guts to kiss a woman long and good right then I realized that these are the types
then I realized that these are the types
then I realized that these are the types of scenes that are going by often
of scenes that are going by often
of scenes that are going by often without our notice or comment and yet
without our notice or comment and yet
without our notice or comment and yet they are the ones that are teaching us
they are the ones that are teaching us
they are the ones that are teaching us and our children about consent although
and our children about consent although
and our children about consent although as parents and educators and coaches we
as parents and educators and coaches we
as parents and educators and coaches we were careful to shield our children from
were careful to shield our children from
were careful to shield our children from scenes of explicit violence and sex we
scenes of explicit violence and sex we
scenes of explicit violence and sex we were still sharing stories of coercion
were still sharing stories of coercion
were still sharing stories of coercion that were somehow supposed to be funny
that were somehow supposed to be funny
that were somehow supposed to be funny or harmless or admirable throughout my
or harmless or admirable throughout my
or harmless or admirable throughout my career I have worked as a filmmaker a
career I have worked as a filmmaker a
career I have worked as a filmmaker a film journalist and a professor having
film journalist and a professor having
film journalist and a professor having spent the last several years studying
spent the last several years studying
spent the last several years studying stories of consent I believe that there
stories of consent I believe that there
stories of consent I believe that there is a key obstacle to our understanding
is a key obstacle to our understanding
is a key obstacle to our understanding consent better and reducing sexual
consent better and reducing sexual
consent better and reducing sexual assault although we say no means no and
assault although we say no means no and
assault although we say no means no and yes means yes we continue to see and
yes means yes we continue to see and
yes means yes we continue to see and share stories where no means maybe or no
share stories where no means maybe or no
share stories where no means maybe or no means try harder in short our stories of
means try harder in short our stories of
means try harder in short our stories of seduction are too often stories of
seduction are too often stories of
seduction are too often stories of courage coercion
courage coercion
courage coercion when I say a seduction story I mean the
when I say a seduction story I mean the
when I say a seduction story I mean the classic boy meets girl story but these
classic boy meets girl story but these
classic boy meets girl story but these require more drastic measures
require more drastic measures
require more drastic measures to see disguise degradation and
to see disguise degradation and
to see disguise degradation and typically a touch of violence let’s
typically a touch of violence let’s
typically a touch of violence let’s review this range of sexual experiences
review this range of sexual experiences
review this range of sexual experiences on the one hand we have yes means yes
on the one hand we have yes means yes
on the one hand we have yes means yes which includes consensual sex mutual
which includes consensual sex mutual
which includes consensual sex mutual desire and willingness on the other hand
desire and willingness on the other hand
desire and willingness on the other hand we have no means no which includes
we have no means no which includes
we have no means no which includes sexual assault coercion and
sexual assault coercion and
sexual assault coercion and unwillingness but what I’m suggesting is
unwillingness but what I’m suggesting is
unwillingness but what I’m suggesting is that we continue to blur the two and
that we continue to blur the two and
that we continue to blur the two and that is what I mean by seduction
that is what I mean by seduction
that is what I mean by seduction depending on how a situation is read by
depending on how a situation is read by
depending on how a situation is read by the participants and by others a
the participants and by others a
the participants and by others a seduction might be seen as persuading a
seduction might be seen as persuading a
seduction might be seen as persuading a willing participant or coercing an
willing participant or coercing an
willing participant or coercing an unwilling participant this pattern
unwilling participant this pattern
unwilling participant this pattern exists across the gender spectrum and
exists across the gender spectrum and
exists across the gender spectrum and sexual preferences and I want to be
sexual preferences and I want to be
sexual preferences and I want to be clear that I don’t see seduction as a
clear that I don’t see seduction as a
clear that I don’t see seduction as a gray area I see it more as a yellow
gray area I see it more as a yellow
gray area I see it more as a yellow proceed with caution zone seduction
proceed with caution zone seduction
proceed with caution zone seduction depicts sex as a conquest as a hunt
depicts sex as a conquest as a hunt
depicts sex as a conquest as a hunt between pursuer and pursued think of the
between pursuer and pursued think of the
between pursuer and pursued think of the film Fifty Shades of Grey in which
film Fifty Shades of Grey in which
film Fifty Shades of Grey in which college student Anastasia Steele is
college student Anastasia Steele is
college student Anastasia Steele is seduced by the billionaire Christian
seduced by the billionaire Christian
seduced by the billionaire Christian Grey Christian is so obsessed with
Grey Christian is so obsessed with
Grey Christian is so obsessed with consent that he actually draws out a
consent that he actually draws out a
consent that he actually draws out a very detailed written contract for
very detailed written contract for
very detailed written contract for Anastasia which she actually never signs
Anastasia which she actually never signs
Anastasia which she actually never signs but as part of his seduction he enters
but as part of his seduction he enters
but as part of his seduction he enters her apartment he undresses her when
her apartment he undresses her when
her apartment he undresses her when she’s unconscious and he sells her car
she’s unconscious and he sells her car
she’s unconscious and he sells her car all without her permission so many were
all without her permission so many were
all without her permission so many were disturbed when the film’s screenwriter
disturbed when the film’s screenwriter
disturbed when the film’s screenwriter said that Christian was an old-fashioned
said that Christian was an old-fashioned
said that Christian was an old-fashioned and romantic hero but in fact the story
and romantic hero but in fact the story
and romantic hero but in fact the story is not new many of you from my
is not new many of you from my
is not new many of you from my generation will probably recall how we
generation will probably recall how we
generation will probably recall how we all saw or wanted to see the 1986 film
all saw or wanted to see the 1986 film
all saw or wanted to see the 1986 film nine and a half weeks specifically for
nine and a half weeks specifically for
nine and a half weeks specifically for its sex scenes tinged with violence but
its sex scenes tinged with violence but
its sex scenes tinged with violence but it goes much further back than that
it goes much further back than that
it goes much further back than that there’s Shakespeare’s The Taming of a
there’s Shakespeare’s The Taming of a
there’s Shakespeare’s The Taming of a shrew in which Petruchio breaks down the
shrew in which Petruchio breaks down the
shrew in which Petruchio breaks down the defenses of Kate who initially has no
defenses of Kate who initially has no
defenses of Kate who initially has no interest in Petruchio or any men for
interest in Petruchio or any men for
interest in Petruchio or any men for that matter and if to give you a sense
that matter and if to give you a sense
that matter and if to give you a sense of how far back this theme actually goes
of how far back this theme actually goes
of how far back this theme actually goes we can look at Greek mythology where the
we can look at Greek mythology where the
we can look at Greek mythology where the goddess Hera initially turned down
goddess Hera initially turned down
goddess Hera initially turned down Zeus’s marriage proposal so he disguises
Zeus’s marriage proposal so he disguises
Zeus’s marriage proposal so he disguises himself as a bird at her window and when
himself as a bird at her window and when
himself as a bird at her window and when she lets him in he rapes her and then
she lets him in he rapes her and then
she lets him in he rapes her and then she accepts his marriage proposal
seduction stories sometimes at first
seduction stories sometimes at first glance can seem perfectly harmless think
glance can seem perfectly harmless think
glance can seem perfectly harmless think of the television television series
of the television television series
of the television television series stranger things in which Nancy’s
stranger things in which Nancy’s
stranger things in which Nancy’s boyfriend Steve takes her nose the way a
boyfriend Steve takes her nose the way a
boyfriend Steve takes her nose the way a Salesman would try harder he refuses she
Salesman would try harder he refuses she
Salesman would try harder he refuses she refuses to meet him sorry she refuses to
refuses to meet him sorry she refuses to
refuses to meet him sorry she refuses to meet him so he climbs in her window she
meet him so he climbs in her window she
meet him so he climbs in her window she avoids his kiss so he tries again
avoids his kiss so he tries again
avoids his kiss so he tries again similarly the way that Tom who’s Anne
similarly the way that Tom who’s Anne
similarly the way that Tom who’s Anne and parks a trek is intended to convert
and parks a trek is intended to convert
and parks a trek is intended to convert her no to a yes and the vast majority of
her no to a yes and the vast majority of
her no to a yes and the vast majority of teen sex comedy from American Pie to
teen sex comedy from American Pie to
teen sex comedy from American Pie to super bad depicts young men who are
super bad depicts young men who are
super bad depicts young men who are obsessed with seducing young women such
obsessed with seducing young women such
obsessed with seducing young women such a blurring of consent and coercion is no
a blurring of consent and coercion is no
a blurring of consent and coercion is no less unsettling when the gender roles
less unsettling when the gender roles
less unsettling when the gender roles are swapped consider how a film like The
are swapped consider how a film like The
are swapped consider how a film like The Graduate simply changes the aggressor to
Graduate simply changes the aggressor to
Graduate simply changes the aggressor to the older female character who pursues
the older female character who pursues
the older female character who pursues her younger innocent male counterpart
her younger innocent male counterpart
her younger innocent male counterpart and this is also started to make its
and this is also started to make its
and this is also started to make its appearance in more recent teen comedies
appearance in more recent teen comedies
appearance in more recent teen comedies like blockers and the to-do list where
like blockers and the to-do list where
like blockers and the to-do list where girls are actively pursuing their own
girls are actively pursuing their own
girls are actively pursuing their own sexual exploits sometimes without
sexual exploits sometimes without
sexual exploits sometimes without thinking that they need to get the
thinking that they need to get the
thinking that they need to get the consent of their male partners first the
consent of their male partners first the
consent of their male partners first the issue is that this is not just the
issue is that this is not just the
issue is that this is not just the domain affection one in three women are
domain affection one in three women are
domain affection one in three women are sexually assaulted in their lifetime and
sexually assaulted in their lifetime and
sexually assaulted in their lifetime and one in six men are – the majority of
one in six men are – the majority of
one in six men are – the majority of sexual assaults go unreported just to
sexual assaults go unreported just to
sexual assaults go unreported just to highlight one example 80
highlight one example 80
highlight one example 80 percent of sexual assaults on female
percent of sexual assaults on female
percent of sexual assaults on female college students between 1995 and 2013
college students between 1995 and 2013
college students between 1995 and 2013 were not reported to the police
were not reported to the police
were not reported to the police according to the Department of Justice
according to the Department of Justice
according to the Department of Justice so when we highlight an issue like
so when we highlight an issue like
so when we highlight an issue like campus sexual violence by only talking
campus sexual violence by only talking
campus sexual violence by only talking about the black and white situations we
about the black and white situations we
about the black and white situations we are missing an opportunity to talk about
are missing an opportunity to talk about
are missing an opportunity to talk about the cases in this yellow zone one of the
the cases in this yellow zone one of the
the cases in this yellow zone one of the issues with sexual consent is that we
issues with sexual consent is that we
issues with sexual consent is that we typically don’t obtain it in writing
typically don’t obtain it in writing
typically don’t obtain it in writing maybe some of you do but in writing or
maybe some of you do but in writing or
maybe some of you do but in writing or even verbally necessarily and so we rely
even verbally necessarily and so we rely
even verbally necessarily and so we rely on behavior we know that this can lead
on behavior we know that this can lead
on behavior we know that this can lead to problems a common example is that
to problems a common example is that
to problems a common example is that someone’s laughter might be seen as
someone’s laughter might be seen as
someone’s laughter might be seen as consent but it actually might mean that
consent but it actually might mean that
consent but it actually might mean that the person is really nervous and not
the person is really nervous and not
the person is really nervous and not sure how to say no part of the way that
sure how to say no part of the way that
sure how to say no part of the way that we learn to behave is through stories
we learn to behave is through stories
we learn to behave is through stories and stories are not just movies and
and stories are not just movies and
and stories are not just movies and television they’re lessons at school
television they’re lessons at school
television they’re lessons at school they’re things that our parents tell us
they’re things that our parents tell us
they’re things that our parents tell us stories that our friends tell us and
stories that our friends tell us and
stories that our friends tell us and things that we see in the news and media
things that we see in the news and media
things that we see in the news and media any story about sex is also a story
any story about sex is also a story
any story about sex is also a story about sexual consent so what are we
about sexual consent so what are we
about sexual consent so what are we learning sexual violence prevention
learning sexual violence prevention
learning sexual violence prevention coordinator and writer Brad Perry talks
coordinator and writer Brad Perry talks
coordinator and writer Brad Perry talks about how when he was younger he learned
about how when he was younger he learned
about how when he was younger he learned from friends that seducing girls
from friends that seducing girls
from friends that seducing girls required loosening agents like drugs and
required loosening agents like drugs and
required loosening agents like drugs and alcohol it wasn’t until a female friend
alcohol it wasn’t until a female friend
alcohol it wasn’t until a female friend of his was raped and attempted suicide
of his was raped and attempted suicide
of his was raped and attempted suicide that he realized how similar his own
that he realized how similar his own
that he realized how similar his own tactics were to those of her rapist
tactics were to those of her rapist
tactics were to those of her rapist admissions like these are too few and
admissions like these are too few and
admissions like these are too few and far between on the flip side girls are
far between on the flip side girls are
far between on the flip side girls are still too often discouraged from seeing
still too often discouraged from seeing
still too often discouraged from seeing themselves as sexual agents because of
themselves as sexual agents because of
themselves as sexual agents because of persistent double standards and
persistent double standards and
persistent double standards and slut-shaming girls are still often
slut-shaming girls are still often
slut-shaming girls are still often responding to the advances of their male
responding to the advances of their male
responding to the advances of their male partners rather than knowing what they
partners rather than knowing what they
partners rather than knowing what they want sexually and initiating it in my
want sexually and initiating it in my
want sexually and initiating it in my own studies of gender study but in my
own studies of gender study but in my
own studies of gender study but in my own Gender Studies classes I’ve asked
own Gender Studies classes I’ve asked
own Gender Studies classes I’ve asked students what did you learn in sex
students what did you learn in sex
students what did you learn in sex education
education
education and what did you want to learn and every
and what did you want to learn and every
and what did you want to learn and every year it’s very similar what they learned
year it’s very similar what they learned
year it’s very similar what they learned about was sexually transmitted diseases
about was sexually transmitted diseases
about was sexually transmitted diseases abstinence and pregnancy but what they
abstinence and pregnancy but what they
abstinence and pregnancy but what they wanted to learn about was consent
wanted to learn about was consent
wanted to learn about was consent assault pleasure and relationships so I
assault pleasure and relationships so I
assault pleasure and relationships so I love films and I’m going to continue
love films and I’m going to continue
love films and I’m going to continue sharing them with my children but when I
sharing them with my children but when I
sharing them with my children but when I see a scene that I know is wrong I’m
see a scene that I know is wrong I’m
see a scene that I know is wrong I’m going to have a conversation with them
going to have a conversation with them
going to have a conversation with them about it I also am continuing to seek
about it I also am continuing to seek
about it I also am continuing to seek out stories that are better seduction
out stories that are better seduction
out stories that are better seduction stories I know that by changing the
stories I know that by changing the
stories I know that by changing the stories that we tell we can change how
stories that we tell we can change how
stories that we tell we can change how we think about consent and how we act
we think about consent and how we act
we think about consent and how we act with sexual consent thank you
with sexual consent thank you
with sexual consent thank you [Applause]
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