imagine a world where every single
worker can’t wait to get to work and
when they’re there they give 100% of
themselves and they love every minute of
it can you imagine that perhaps not
because the reality is that many of us
have seen those memes on the internet
write me at work on the Friday night
it’s Friday night it’s 5 o’clock and
it’s time to go home and suddenly people
start dancing through the doors leaping
into the lived pyrrha waiting for the
carpark and why it’s like a scene from
Fame the musical and they are so happy
because they get two days of work what’s
that all about just surviving for five
days I love it every 7 we’ve seen your
lives away until the weekend and why is
it that we want to get out of the
workplace so quickly is it because when
we have our free time we get to spend
empathy is defined as the ability to
understand the feelings and the emotions
of another person and the Gallup
Organization has reported that when
individuals feel that their supervisor
at work cares about them they’re more
likely to support their fellow
colleagues they’re more likely to come
up with new ideas and they’re more
likely to share more information but the
thing is only 40% of people think that
their supervisor cares about them at all
so most of the time when we go to work
we are just trying to lie low and stay
hidden imagine you getting up for work
and you zip up what we call your fake
persona suit any of you wore the suit
like that before you feel like you’ve
got to pretend because you’re going into
work right and I think of this suit as
being like one of those old-fashioned
suits that the deep-sea divers used to
wear you know their suits that kind of
make them walk like this at the bottom
of the ocean
because it clumsy it’s cumbersome it
gets in your way it stops you from doing
your very best and when you get home
you’re feeling suffocated and stifled
you can’t wait to take it off until the
next day when you’ve got to put it back
on again I used to wear a suit just like
that to work because I knew that I had
to wear it to fit in and to get ahead I
felt I needed to iron out the kinks and
be just like everybody else but the
thing is we all have our story don’t we
something that makes us a little bit
different from the next person and it’s
our story that gives us our
individuality and that makes us who we
are what’s your story my story is that
as a child I was posted and I was posted
by an elderly white English couple and I
had a very happy and loving upbringing
and it was also very British every
Saturday night we would watch Elvis
movies on TV and then when Elvis wasn’t
on telly it seemed like Bruce Forsyth
inhabited us the TV sets and then every
single Sunday without fail we would have
a roast to dinner usually with brussel
sprouts but by the time I got into the
workplace I realized that it wasn’t okay
to talk about being frosted let alone by
a family of a different race every
single time childhood stories came up
and I mentioned mine I see this panic
look appear on my colleagues face they
were basically thinking something like
oh my god that sounds really emotional
oh my god I’m frightened what am I
supposed to say and what they did end up
saying was something like was it
lunchtime already see you later
and they become and so I realized that
being different in the workplace was bad
the running commentary in my head went
something like
you were fostered that makes it
different you’re black that makes you
different difference isn’t good so lie
low keep a low profile and maybe no one
will notice you but the thing is if you
imagine an iceberg right an iceberg has
10% of itself visible above the water
and 90% is hidden but imagine you as the
iceberg in the workplace and that hidden
line 2% contains all the good stuff that
they hide you for in the first place
it contains your creativity your
initiative your productivity the thing
is we don’t need to hide ourselves away
like that if I think of those colleagues
all they needed to have said was
something like oh you were fostered how
was that for you they didn’t need to
have any answers and they didn’t need to
be afraid but it would have been cool if
they perhaps just been curious and
listened but instead in the workplace we
stick to those usual safe topics don’t
we
celebrity tip chats TV and of course
sport because those topics keep us
zipped up inside that fake persona suit
and we don’t have to put anything at
risk but what about companies and
corporations what about them why should
they encourage us to show more emotion
in the workplace why should they
encourage us to be ourselves shortly
it’s just a simple equation which is
money in equals productivity out because
we machines right but McKinsey reported
that when companies have more diverse
senior management teams and diverse
boards they make 35% higher profits then
companies that don’t have that same
diversity so there’s a really good
reason for women and diverse groups and
minorities to step up and reach those
senior positions in the workplace but on
the other hand
there’s something else going on well
it’s been reported that minorities tend
to be scrutinized a lot more in the
workplace and that leads to poor
performance it leads to them ending up
sometimes even losing their jobs or
being disciplined so on the one hand we
need more minorities we need more women
to step up and take those senior roles
but organizations need to change so that
those people are being encouraged in the
first place and not being scrutinized
and treated differently so what’s the
problem here the main problem is that
people like people who are like
themselves don’t they it’s a very human
problem and what that means is that
anybody who’s in a senior position tends
to want to encourage people who are just
like them so it becomes really hard for
anyone who’s had a different story
or a different background to find their
seat at the table
imagine a male executive and he’s got a
season-ticket say to watch Chelsea play
every couple of weeks and he has a
female employee working for him and she
has a young son who goes to watch play
soccer at the local pitch every weekend
now the two of them might think they’re
completely different but if they would
only ask a simple question how was it
for you they may find they’ve got a lot
more in common than they first thought
because maybe they both watch their team
at the weekend and they’re both feeling
a sensation of pride in joy because they
team one but unless they get beyond the
what did you do to the how did it feel
how will they ever get to bond and
connect because human beings bond on
shared emotion years ago I thought I had
the job of my dreams I was hired to be
an Account Director I was running a team
of 12 people I had a blue chip client on
my roster but six months after I took
fired because I was too quiet during
meetings now I’m an introvert and
introverts
don’t typically tend to be very strong
at speaking up spontaneously in group
situations but my employer never
bothered to find that out about me and
they didn’t bother to learn that I’ve
been up working off until midnight or
till 1:00 in the morning trying to skill
up for the job and read reports and all
that good stuff and in fact the only
time I remember them asking anything
with curiosity about me was during my
job interview and then on the day they
fired me and it was a very tough time
because a lot of my friends are doing
really well and I ended up cutting
people out of my life because I didn’t
want them to think of me as a failure
and at the same time I was I didn’t want
to share with my Nigerian parents that
I’ve been let go from a job can you
imagine it let go let go what does that
mean do you mean you were fired by God
that was bad so that conversation got
delayed for a while but in the meantime
what I decided to do was take my guitar
and start singing on the open mic
circuit around London what I discovered
was something really amazing I learned
so much from those audiences because
it’s better than shying away from
emotion they wanted more of it they were
hungry to hear stories and when I sang
about myself and told them stories of
things that had happened
that be yelling out yeah me too or what
happened next and I realized that this
idea that we shouldn’t be showing
emotion was rubbish and that there was
something really rotten in the workplace
that was encouraging us to be there and
to give so much of ourselves without
fully showing who we are and fully
allowing us to connect with each other
because it’s all very well for companies
to have these missions right you know a
company mission our Charter is this etc
and to expect the workers to be like
obedient troops following along but
without empathy without emotion how can
we bond together in the first place so I
have a vision because these base I work
as a communications coach in a
professional singer and I have a vision
but in the workplace
why shouldn’t more emotion be encouraged
because that’s what allows us to connect
with each other why should we be asked
to check our emotions at the door on the
Monday morning or leave them at home if
we are allowed to show more emotion at
work there’d be no more need to be
icebergs with only 10% of our cells
floating above and 90% of the good stuff
hidden away there’d be no more need for
these fake persona suits where we feel
clunky and stifled everyday and we can’t
be ourselves and unfortunately would be
no more need for those crazy memes that
we see on the internet with people
feeling miserable on Monday and
fantastic on the Friday lights so I
think you may have heard of bring your
kids to work day or even bring your dog
to work day but I think we should have a
new day and we should call it the bring
yourself to work day
but I think it shouldn’t be just one day
of the year it should be every single day thank you
worker can’t wait to get to work and
when they’re there they give 100% of
themselves and they love every minute of
it can you imagine that perhaps not
because the reality is that many of us
have seen those memes on the internet
write me at work on the Friday night
it’s Friday night it’s 5 o’clock and
it’s time to go home and suddenly people
start dancing through the doors leaping
into the lived pyrrha waiting for the
carpark and why it’s like a scene from
Fame the musical and they are so happy
because they get two days of work what’s
that all about just surviving for five
days I love it every 7 we’ve seen your
lives away until the weekend and why is
it that we want to get out of the
workplace so quickly is it because when
we have our free time we get to spend
empathy is defined as the ability to
understand the feelings and the emotions
of another person and the Gallup
Organization has reported that when
individuals feel that their supervisor
at work cares about them they’re more
likely to support their fellow
colleagues they’re more likely to come
up with new ideas and they’re more
likely to share more information but the
thing is only 40% of people think that
their supervisor cares about them at all
so most of the time when we go to work
we are just trying to lie low and stay
hidden imagine you getting up for work
and you zip up what we call your fake
persona suit any of you wore the suit
like that before you feel like you’ve
got to pretend because you’re going into
work right and I think of this suit as
being like one of those old-fashioned
suits that the deep-sea divers used to
wear you know their suits that kind of
make them walk like this at the bottom
of the ocean
because it clumsy it’s cumbersome it
gets in your way it stops you from doing
your very best and when you get home
you’re feeling suffocated and stifled
you can’t wait to take it off until the
next day when you’ve got to put it back
on again I used to wear a suit just like
that to work because I knew that I had
to wear it to fit in and to get ahead I
felt I needed to iron out the kinks and
be just like everybody else but the
thing is we all have our story don’t we
something that makes us a little bit
different from the next person and it’s
our story that gives us our
individuality and that makes us who we
are what’s your story my story is that
as a child I was posted and I was posted
by an elderly white English couple and I
had a very happy and loving upbringing
and it was also very British every
Saturday night we would watch Elvis
movies on TV and then when Elvis wasn’t
on telly it seemed like Bruce Forsyth
inhabited us the TV sets and then every
single Sunday without fail we would have
a roast to dinner usually with brussel
sprouts but by the time I got into the
workplace I realized that it wasn’t okay
to talk about being frosted let alone by
a family of a different race every
single time childhood stories came up
and I mentioned mine I see this panic
look appear on my colleagues face they
were basically thinking something like
oh my god that sounds really emotional
oh my god I’m frightened what am I
supposed to say and what they did end up
saying was something like was it
lunchtime already see you later
and they become and so I realized that
being different in the workplace was bad
the running commentary in my head went
something like
you were fostered that makes it
different you’re black that makes you
different difference isn’t good so lie
low keep a low profile and maybe no one
will notice you but the thing is if you
imagine an iceberg right an iceberg has
10% of itself visible above the water
and 90% is hidden but imagine you as the
iceberg in the workplace and that hidden
line 2% contains all the good stuff that
they hide you for in the first place
it contains your creativity your
initiative your productivity the thing
is we don’t need to hide ourselves away
like that if I think of those colleagues
all they needed to have said was
something like oh you were fostered how
was that for you they didn’t need to
have any answers and they didn’t need to
be afraid but it would have been cool if
they perhaps just been curious and
listened but instead in the workplace we
stick to those usual safe topics don’t
we
celebrity tip chats TV and of course
sport because those topics keep us
zipped up inside that fake persona suit
and we don’t have to put anything at
risk but what about companies and
corporations what about them why should
they encourage us to show more emotion
in the workplace why should they
encourage us to be ourselves shortly
it’s just a simple equation which is
money in equals productivity out because
we machines right but McKinsey reported
that when companies have more diverse
senior management teams and diverse
boards they make 35% higher profits then
companies that don’t have that same
diversity so there’s a really good
reason for women and diverse groups and
minorities to step up and reach those
senior positions in the workplace but on
the other hand
there’s something else going on well
it’s been reported that minorities tend
to be scrutinized a lot more in the
workplace and that leads to poor
performance it leads to them ending up
sometimes even losing their jobs or
being disciplined so on the one hand we
need more minorities we need more women
to step up and take those senior roles
but organizations need to change so that
those people are being encouraged in the
first place and not being scrutinized
and treated differently so what’s the
problem here the main problem is that
people like people who are like
themselves don’t they it’s a very human
problem and what that means is that
anybody who’s in a senior position tends
to want to encourage people who are just
like them so it becomes really hard for
anyone who’s had a different story
or a different background to find their
seat at the table
imagine a male executive and he’s got a
season-ticket say to watch Chelsea play
every couple of weeks and he has a
female employee working for him and she
has a young son who goes to watch play
soccer at the local pitch every weekend
now the two of them might think they’re
completely different but if they would
only ask a simple question how was it
for you they may find they’ve got a lot
more in common than they first thought
because maybe they both watch their team
at the weekend and they’re both feeling
a sensation of pride in joy because they
team one but unless they get beyond the
what did you do to the how did it feel
how will they ever get to bond and
connect because human beings bond on
shared emotion years ago I thought I had
the job of my dreams I was hired to be
an Account Director I was running a team
of 12 people I had a blue chip client on
my roster but six months after I took
fired because I was too quiet during
meetings now I’m an introvert and
introverts
don’t typically tend to be very strong
at speaking up spontaneously in group
situations but my employer never
bothered to find that out about me and
they didn’t bother to learn that I’ve
been up working off until midnight or
till 1:00 in the morning trying to skill
up for the job and read reports and all
that good stuff and in fact the only
time I remember them asking anything
with curiosity about me was during my
job interview and then on the day they
fired me and it was a very tough time
because a lot of my friends are doing
really well and I ended up cutting
people out of my life because I didn’t
want them to think of me as a failure
and at the same time I was I didn’t want
to share with my Nigerian parents that
I’ve been let go from a job can you
imagine it let go let go what does that
mean do you mean you were fired by God
that was bad so that conversation got
delayed for a while but in the meantime
what I decided to do was take my guitar
and start singing on the open mic
circuit around London what I discovered
was something really amazing I learned
so much from those audiences because
it’s better than shying away from
emotion they wanted more of it they were
hungry to hear stories and when I sang
about myself and told them stories of
things that had happened
that be yelling out yeah me too or what
happened next and I realized that this
idea that we shouldn’t be showing
emotion was rubbish and that there was
something really rotten in the workplace
that was encouraging us to be there and
to give so much of ourselves without
fully showing who we are and fully
allowing us to connect with each other
because it’s all very well for companies
to have these missions right you know a
company mission our Charter is this etc
and to expect the workers to be like
obedient troops following along but
without empathy without emotion how can
we bond together in the first place so I
have a vision because these base I work
as a communications coach in a
professional singer and I have a vision
but in the workplace
why shouldn’t more emotion be encouraged
because that’s what allows us to connect
with each other why should we be asked
to check our emotions at the door on the
Monday morning or leave them at home if
we are allowed to show more emotion at
work there’d be no more need to be
icebergs with only 10% of our cells
floating above and 90% of the good stuff
hidden away there’d be no more need for
these fake persona suits where we feel
clunky and stifled everyday and we can’t
be ourselves and unfortunately would be
no more need for those crazy memes that
we see on the internet with people
feeling miserable on Monday and
fantastic on the Friday lights so I
think you may have heard of bring your
kids to work day or even bring your dog
to work day but I think we should have a
new day and we should call it the bring
yourself to work day
but I think it shouldn’t be just one day
of the year it should be every single day thank you
Please follow and like us: