remember that time when as a child you
drew a picture and then you’d show your
picture to your parents or caregivers
looking for appraisal or approval I
never got that from my mother every
single time I showed her my drawing look
what I did mom what do you think do you
like it she would look at my drawing
then look at me and reply with a
question what do you think do you like
it it doesn’t matter what I think what’s
most important is what you think about
back then I was kind of mad at her
because I thought that was some kind of
test but now I know she was trying to
help me build confidence in myself help
me answer questions like what do I think
what do I like do I like myself Who am I
I have been asked this question who do
you think you are many times in my life
from people with good and not-so-good
intentions and every single time I felt
absolutely terrified
there was a part of me really scared
when I finally looked at that fear
I saw a scared little girl trying to
figure things out then I started
communicating with that girl what I
found is that in talking with that
little girl in me I gained confidence in
myself the ride was bumpy but totally
worth it
the story begins in college one night we
were partying with my friends at the
beach singing and playing music around a
bonfire a friend of mine was playing the
mandolin she was playing with such a
grace I was in awe she invited me to
join her but I didn’t play any musical
instrument that at that time but that
night I promised to myself to learn Lida
a musical instrument from Crete Greece
the moment I said that out loud though
something weird happened
my college friends stopped talking to me
and the other half were politely
avoiding me
when I confronted one of them he said
it’s because of the leader thing and I
go yeah so what well you can’t you are a
woman and leader is a musical instrument
traditionally played by men unaware of
the fact that this clay model found in
Policastro Crete and dates back to 1350
BC and shows a group of women dancing to
the music of earlier played by a woman
or totally forgetting about people like
Livadia Bernie vacuum on in the 40s to
ever be recorded in a musical record as
a singer but she was the first that we
know of a woman that plays all the
musical instruments widely played in
Crete volute the violin Lyra and the
mandolin nevertheless I get the same
reaction for ball from both men men and
women
I even had someone publicly pointed the
finger at me saying who do you think you
are to play Lyra I was devastated
heartbroken and alone but you know what
there was a part of me really excited to
learn how to play so I went on bought
the instrument and started looking for a
teacher
apparently music teachers and especially
Lita teachers didn’t teach women to play
Lita so I said okay I’m gonna have to
learn by myself so I did but as it’s
true with most things music is better
when it’s shared there was a group of 70
80 year old men and women from the
village of meliboeus let him know who
were gathering once a week to play music
sing dance eat and share stories in one
of their gatherings itemid Lee mentioned
that I play leader too and they were so
excited that a young
ladies playing this musical instrument
that they kept inviting week after week
to play with them I was thrilled I had
finally found my tribe and I was having
so much fun there was an incident though
I will never forget in one of the weekly
gatherings I was asked to play then
suddenly a man who was joining the group
for the first time stood up and yelled
is she going to play later a woman who
does she think she is my heart was
beating really fast and was about to
burst into tears when one of the oldest
men of the group gently turned my head
to look at him and said
Chrissa repeat after me I am that I am
that I am that I am I’m Popeye the
Sailor met so-now soon after I finished
repeating a phrase we all had a good
laugh and I got the nickname Capitan
Nike which roughly translates to little
captain with a touch of a rebellious
attitude but I kept this little captain
attitude in advocating for women’s human
and civil rights have you ever wondered
why so many women and men pay the same
college tuition but are not in so many
cases getting paid equally apart from
the wage gap have you ever thought about
why aren’t there more women CEOs
politicians engineers or Lehrer
musicians for that matter who is
responsible for that after spending a
couple of years in private practice as a
hypnotherapist treating women with
confidence related issues it dawned on
me
most women didn’t believe they were
enough smart enough seen enough
beautiful enough qualified enough
educated enough I say enough is enough
numerous global studies show that
compared
with men women don’t consider themselves
as ready for promotions they predict
they’ll do worse on tests and they
generally underestimate their abilities
when in fact their actual performance
does not differ in quality or quantity
we fail to break the glass ceiling
because of our lack of confidence the
answer to my question who is responsible
is we women and especially the things we
say to ourselves and the things we
believe to be true for ourselves each
and every one of us is responsible for
our lives the only one to define who you
are or who you think you are is you it
doesn’t matter what other people say or
believe about you what’s most important
is what you believe to be true for
yourself evaluate your own drawings
don’t see others appraisal or approval
for your creations now the the way you
hear that question says a lot about your
starting point when it comes to
confidence do you hear it as a question
that triggers a self-discovery journey
who do you think you are or as an insult
who do you think you are who do you
think you are to go after your dreams do
you think you are to speak up who do you
think you are to talk back to authority
what do you think you are to name your
abuser after all these years who do you
think you are to hold your head up high
after a failure what someone asks you
who do you think you are how do you
respond most likely with fear this
question has been loved at most of us at
some point as an accusation but I see it
as the most powerful question to ask
ourselves Socrates the Greek philosopher
said over and accept estas rios Oviatt
osa throw po the unexamined life isn’t
worth living
that was my starting point to forming
the idea that in order to have a life
worth living and confidently answer the
question who do you think you are we
have to examine our lives starting from
childhood and properly parent are in
their child but first what is being
their child in a child is a part of your
character that was affected during
childhood which can have childish
reactions to everyday adult situations
such as not speaking out for yourself
not being able to change an annoying
habit ask for what you want set
boundaries apply for that job ask for
that promotion negotiate your wage or
your worth
are you wondering if you have an inner
child the answer is yes you do have one
because you were a child once now why do
we need to heal the inner child in order
to have confidence it’s because in the
during the early years of development in
a child’s life there are certain events
that trigger emotions that a child is
not equipped to deal with we all had at
a certain point some of our primal needs
as children not quite met and that
created some kind of trauma or limiting
belief lack of love acceptance
protection at that point the child
assumes they believe it’s me there’s
there’s something wrong with me and
continues all the adult life seeing
herself based on that belief I’m not
enough
I can’t I’m not worthy my idea is to
compassionately listen to what this
inner child is saying and as a loving
caring parent give the correct answers
you can you are enough you are worthy
I’m going to share with you the
technique I use with my clients to help
them update those false beliefs that
help them build confidence
it’s a technique process that everybody
can do both women and men but in this
time and age I want to dedicate this
practice to women with statistically
lowered confidence
women can really use it because it is
time to meet the person you truly are it
consists of three steps you’re going to
need your imagination a pen and a piece
of paper step number one find a quiet
place in the comfort of your home where
you can have some time and disturbed and
take your notebook and allow yourself to
go back to a time in your childhood when
something happened that hurts you the
important thing here is to notice and
note down all the details as an observer
witness the scene as an observer in step
number two you are going to create some
contact with that inner child you saw on
the first scene approach her tell her
you’re a friend tell her you saw what
happened and it is not her fault tell
her you are loved and appreciated by me
I will take care of you things will be
okay in step number three you’re going
to say your goodbyes but before that you
are going to ask her what do you need
right now wait for the answer and then
write it down
speak to her with the wisdom you have
today and share with her a message that
will help her as she’s growing up give
any promises expressed love and
gratitude I will come back I love you
thank you you can repeat this process
for as many life events as you see fit
and every time you need some extra boost
of confidence or courage repeat I am
enough I am lovable I am safe
I can this is what I did
when I decided to learn leader despite
society’s disapproval this is what I did
just moments ago before I came up on
this stage today I am happy to report
that more and more women are playing
leader in Crete and there are many many
teachers that do not discriminate based
there was a major shift in society’s
perception this is what happens when
women show up authentically confidently
knowing who they truly are and one might
wonder what else could be possible if
you allow yourself to define who you are
and act on it
this practice helped me build the
confidence to create a life worth living
the courage to show up and speak my
truth and the compassion to accept my
light and my shadows I invite you to do
the inner child work and examine your
lives because it is through her eyes
those eyes that look at the world with
curiosity and wonder that you will
define who you truly are and it is very
important because how you define
yourself will impact how successful you
are your work the quality of your
relationships and even how happy and
fulfilled you are in your life stop
playing small let your light shine
through so that you show up in the world
with love creativity and grace so I will
ask again but take your time to answer
who do you think you are thank you you
drew a picture and then you’d show your
picture to your parents or caregivers
looking for appraisal or approval I
never got that from my mother every
single time I showed her my drawing look
what I did mom what do you think do you
like it she would look at my drawing
then look at me and reply with a
question what do you think do you like
it it doesn’t matter what I think what’s
most important is what you think about
back then I was kind of mad at her
because I thought that was some kind of
test but now I know she was trying to
help me build confidence in myself help
me answer questions like what do I think
what do I like do I like myself Who am I
I have been asked this question who do
you think you are many times in my life
from people with good and not-so-good
intentions and every single time I felt
absolutely terrified
there was a part of me really scared
when I finally looked at that fear
I saw a scared little girl trying to
figure things out then I started
communicating with that girl what I
found is that in talking with that
little girl in me I gained confidence in
myself the ride was bumpy but totally
worth it
the story begins in college one night we
were partying with my friends at the
beach singing and playing music around a
bonfire a friend of mine was playing the
mandolin she was playing with such a
grace I was in awe she invited me to
join her but I didn’t play any musical
instrument that at that time but that
night I promised to myself to learn Lida
a musical instrument from Crete Greece
the moment I said that out loud though
something weird happened
my college friends stopped talking to me
and the other half were politely
avoiding me
when I confronted one of them he said
it’s because of the leader thing and I
go yeah so what well you can’t you are a
woman and leader is a musical instrument
traditionally played by men unaware of
the fact that this clay model found in
Policastro Crete and dates back to 1350
BC and shows a group of women dancing to
the music of earlier played by a woman
or totally forgetting about people like
Livadia Bernie vacuum on in the 40s to
ever be recorded in a musical record as
a singer but she was the first that we
know of a woman that plays all the
musical instruments widely played in
Crete volute the violin Lyra and the
mandolin nevertheless I get the same
reaction for ball from both men men and
women
I even had someone publicly pointed the
finger at me saying who do you think you
are to play Lyra I was devastated
heartbroken and alone but you know what
there was a part of me really excited to
learn how to play so I went on bought
the instrument and started looking for a
teacher
apparently music teachers and especially
Lita teachers didn’t teach women to play
Lita so I said okay I’m gonna have to
learn by myself so I did but as it’s
true with most things music is better
when it’s shared there was a group of 70
80 year old men and women from the
village of meliboeus let him know who
were gathering once a week to play music
sing dance eat and share stories in one
of their gatherings itemid Lee mentioned
that I play leader too and they were so
excited that a young
ladies playing this musical instrument
that they kept inviting week after week
to play with them I was thrilled I had
finally found my tribe and I was having
so much fun there was an incident though
I will never forget in one of the weekly
gatherings I was asked to play then
suddenly a man who was joining the group
for the first time stood up and yelled
is she going to play later a woman who
does she think she is my heart was
beating really fast and was about to
burst into tears when one of the oldest
men of the group gently turned my head
to look at him and said
Chrissa repeat after me I am that I am
that I am that I am I’m Popeye the
Sailor met so-now soon after I finished
repeating a phrase we all had a good
laugh and I got the nickname Capitan
Nike which roughly translates to little
captain with a touch of a rebellious
attitude but I kept this little captain
attitude in advocating for women’s human
and civil rights have you ever wondered
why so many women and men pay the same
college tuition but are not in so many
cases getting paid equally apart from
the wage gap have you ever thought about
why aren’t there more women CEOs
politicians engineers or Lehrer
musicians for that matter who is
responsible for that after spending a
couple of years in private practice as a
hypnotherapist treating women with
confidence related issues it dawned on
me
most women didn’t believe they were
enough smart enough seen enough
beautiful enough qualified enough
educated enough I say enough is enough
numerous global studies show that
compared
with men women don’t consider themselves
as ready for promotions they predict
they’ll do worse on tests and they
generally underestimate their abilities
when in fact their actual performance
does not differ in quality or quantity
we fail to break the glass ceiling
because of our lack of confidence the
answer to my question who is responsible
is we women and especially the things we
say to ourselves and the things we
believe to be true for ourselves each
and every one of us is responsible for
our lives the only one to define who you
are or who you think you are is you it
doesn’t matter what other people say or
believe about you what’s most important
is what you believe to be true for
yourself evaluate your own drawings
don’t see others appraisal or approval
for your creations now the the way you
hear that question says a lot about your
starting point when it comes to
confidence do you hear it as a question
that triggers a self-discovery journey
who do you think you are or as an insult
who do you think you are who do you
think you are to go after your dreams do
you think you are to speak up who do you
think you are to talk back to authority
what do you think you are to name your
abuser after all these years who do you
think you are to hold your head up high
after a failure what someone asks you
who do you think you are how do you
respond most likely with fear this
question has been loved at most of us at
some point as an accusation but I see it
as the most powerful question to ask
ourselves Socrates the Greek philosopher
said over and accept estas rios Oviatt
osa throw po the unexamined life isn’t
worth living
that was my starting point to forming
the idea that in order to have a life
worth living and confidently answer the
question who do you think you are we
have to examine our lives starting from
childhood and properly parent are in
their child but first what is being
their child in a child is a part of your
character that was affected during
childhood which can have childish
reactions to everyday adult situations
such as not speaking out for yourself
not being able to change an annoying
habit ask for what you want set
boundaries apply for that job ask for
that promotion negotiate your wage or
your worth
are you wondering if you have an inner
child the answer is yes you do have one
because you were a child once now why do
we need to heal the inner child in order
to have confidence it’s because in the
during the early years of development in
a child’s life there are certain events
that trigger emotions that a child is
not equipped to deal with we all had at
a certain point some of our primal needs
as children not quite met and that
created some kind of trauma or limiting
belief lack of love acceptance
protection at that point the child
assumes they believe it’s me there’s
there’s something wrong with me and
continues all the adult life seeing
herself based on that belief I’m not
enough
I can’t I’m not worthy my idea is to
compassionately listen to what this
inner child is saying and as a loving
caring parent give the correct answers
you can you are enough you are worthy
I’m going to share with you the
technique I use with my clients to help
them update those false beliefs that
help them build confidence
it’s a technique process that everybody
can do both women and men but in this
time and age I want to dedicate this
practice to women with statistically
lowered confidence
women can really use it because it is
time to meet the person you truly are it
consists of three steps you’re going to
need your imagination a pen and a piece
of paper step number one find a quiet
place in the comfort of your home where
you can have some time and disturbed and
take your notebook and allow yourself to
go back to a time in your childhood when
something happened that hurts you the
important thing here is to notice and
note down all the details as an observer
witness the scene as an observer in step
number two you are going to create some
contact with that inner child you saw on
the first scene approach her tell her
you’re a friend tell her you saw what
happened and it is not her fault tell
her you are loved and appreciated by me
I will take care of you things will be
okay in step number three you’re going
to say your goodbyes but before that you
are going to ask her what do you need
right now wait for the answer and then
write it down
speak to her with the wisdom you have
today and share with her a message that
will help her as she’s growing up give
any promises expressed love and
gratitude I will come back I love you
thank you you can repeat this process
for as many life events as you see fit
and every time you need some extra boost
of confidence or courage repeat I am
enough I am lovable I am safe
I can this is what I did
when I decided to learn leader despite
society’s disapproval this is what I did
just moments ago before I came up on
this stage today I am happy to report
that more and more women are playing
leader in Crete and there are many many
teachers that do not discriminate based
there was a major shift in society’s
perception this is what happens when
women show up authentically confidently
knowing who they truly are and one might
wonder what else could be possible if
you allow yourself to define who you are
and act on it
this practice helped me build the
confidence to create a life worth living
the courage to show up and speak my
truth and the compassion to accept my
light and my shadows I invite you to do
the inner child work and examine your
lives because it is through her eyes
those eyes that look at the world with
curiosity and wonder that you will
define who you truly are and it is very
important because how you define
yourself will impact how successful you
are your work the quality of your
relationships and even how happy and
fulfilled you are in your life stop
playing small let your light shine
through so that you show up in the world
with love creativity and grace so I will
ask again but take your time to answer
who do you think you are thank you you
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