if I were to ask you what do you see
when you look at the screen behind me
nothing or a black rectangle would be
correct answers but what if I asked you
to visualize something let’s do a short
exercise visualize an amazing dinner
tomorrow see it in your mind’s eye
experience it with your other senses if
you wish the aroma the flavor perfectly
hot or cold maybe the sound a sizzle or
a clink but can visualization help you
create the future you want consider this
quote visualize success if you want to
fail that’s right
visualize success if you want to fail
that’s the title of an article by David
DeSalvo published in Forbes magazine a
few years back the title took me by
surprise I’m a clinical psychologist a
therapist a life coach and I’m familiar
with the research on visualization I’ve
seen how valuable it can be for many
people at the same time I agree that on
its own
visualization isn’t sufficient to create
success dinner or anything else but what
if there’s an ingredient you can add to
visualization that substantially
increases its power and what if that
ingredient is something you already have
in your experience in things you do
every day today I’m going to tell you
that I think that ingredient is detail
at
in detail Muse being as precise as you
can about what you want it means
planning specific steps to your
destination and then taking them whether
that destination is an important life
goal or a delicious dinner and where
does this detail come from that’s the
next and really exciting part because
it’s already there it’s within you in
strengths and resources you already have
in the stuff you’re already doing and
because it’s always easier to do what’s
already in your repertoire once you
recognize and tap into those things the
process takes off I like to think about
it in terms of the metaphor I borrow
from my colleague Terry Paseo who
practices in Colorado where a lot of
people ski but you don’t have to be a
great skier to appreciate this image
when you’re skiing it’s a really good
idea not to bump into trees but if
there’s a tree and you look at it too
much your body might steer toward the
tree so don’t look just at the tree see
the bigger picture focus on the path
that winding clear space between the
trees lean one way than the other use
your balance your judgment use your
equipment your skis your poles and
that’s sort of a metaphor for life steer
toward your destination and use the
special features the detail in your
skills and tools to help you get there
there are so many amazing stories that
illustrate the
power of detail with examples that range
from the seemingly unremarkable on one
hand to the profound and poignant on the
other I want to tell you just a few the
first story is about a psychology
experiment done with some college
undergraduates one in December just
before Christmas break psychologist
Peter gollwitzer and Veronica
Brandstatter gave each of their subjects
an envelope with the following
instructions you are to write a vivid
report about how you spent Christmas Eve
how you felt about it and how it
compared with your expectations of how
Christmas Eve should be they were
supposed to do this and mail it back
within 48 hours of Christmas Eve for
half of the subjects the envelope
included another page it was a short
form to complete and turn in right then
that asked them to specify when during
those 48 hours they would write the
report and where they would do it like
I’ll be in the bedroom at my grandma’s
after Christmas lunch while the kids are
playing outside or I have a 9 a.m.
flight from San Diego to JFK on December
26th and I’ll do it on the plane or
whatever that page was the only
difference between the two groups so how
many people actually wrote the report
and mailed it back within the 48 hour
window there was a dramatic difference
between the groups of the people who
only got the instructions to do the task
about 30 percent of them did it off
those who were asked to take five extra
minutes beforehand to specify the win
and where more than 70 percent did it in
the greater scheme of things writing
down what
did on Christmas Eve isn’t life changing
but if detailed planning can make such a
great difference with something that
small imagine what it can do for
something more important when you’re
transferring assets into your living
trust or deciding how to start that
difficult conversation you’ve been
avoiding details supports things that
absolutely make a difference another
story Viktor Frankl was an Austrian
neurologist and psychiatrist in 1942 he
was also a slave laborer in a
concentration camp one winter day in
Poland he was on a forced march with
other prisoners he was sick and
malnourished and he fell in the snow the
guards beat Frankel with a club and
ordered him to get to his feet he
couldn’t he also knew that if he didn’t
he would be left out there to die and
then Frankel envisioned himself not in
Poland not in the snow but in a lecture
hall at a podium he was delivering a
brilliant lecture about how some
prisoners managed to survive somehow he
stumbled to his feet as he struggled
through the snow he composed the details
of his lecture in his mind Frankel
survived the March the day the war fast
forward almost 50 years Viktor Frankl
has just finished delivering
that speech he’s getting a standing
ovation from an audience of 7,000 in my
work I sometimes hear people say they
feel like prisoners of the past for me
the Viktor Frankl story opens up an
alternate possibility the future or your
detailed vision of it can shape the
present and sometimes it can help you
transcend the past the next story comes
from solution-focused therapy
therapist steve DeShazer was talking
with a new client I’m going to call him
Carl a man who was profoundly depressed
since losing a leg in an industrial
accident life seemed empty to Carl he
rarely left his bedroom DeShazer asked
Carl to imagine the future he wanted and
he deliberately used the language of
miracles he said imagine that tonight
while you’re sleeping a miracle happens
you wake up it’s tomorrow morning what’s
the first thing that’s different
Carl responded that he would have his
leg back DeShazer nodded that response
made sense after all he had asked for a
miracle DeShazer and Carl were both men
who said what was important and no more
Carl was silent for a while
DeShazer was silent too then Carl spoke
he said he would go down to the kitchen
and make breakfast again DeShazer nodded
and then asked what carl would do next
and after that one question at a time
the inquiry added detail first about
what else Carl would do and then about
how those things would make a difference
and then about pieces of this scenario
that were already starting to happen
Carl made no further mention of getting
his leg back Carl understood what kind
of miracle they were talking about
he knew that psychotherapy doesn’t
regenerate severed body parts and he
discovered that he didn’t have to wait
for his original miracle to happen to
use everyday activities as stepping
sometimes I invite people to visualize
if they wish a kind of slideshow of the
good detail in their own lives this is a
fast-paced stream of images words audio
video clips in no particular order you
see a collage of detail cool stuff you
already do already have in your life
there are photos of the people who love
you and support you some of the clips
are of you at your best
doing something you love in that sweet
spot where you’re at one with what
there are images that capture something
special about you it might be your
capacity for connection and being on the
same
Paige with another person or your
passion for adventure what else notice
an image or caption or a moment from
your life as it comes into focus your
slideshow streams other clips too
there’s the time you made a hard choice
and then embraced it there’s also that
moment when you knew it was time to let
go and you went in a different direction
you see the time when you were careful
when you used your good healthy caution
the day you allowed extra time just in
case and are glad you did the time you
made that back-up plan there are the
moments when you just kept going
literally or figuratively the time when
you were out of breath and it felt like
you couldn’t go around one more
switchback and you kept reading up that
mountain and eventually got to the top
the time you showed up for work or
school when every bone in your body
didn’t want to maybe at the time you
lost it or blew it and then did what you
had to do to fix it the time when life
went wop-wop and you discovered
flexibility or resilience you didn’t
know you had the time of strength or
skill or detail from another place in
your life emerged exactly when you
needed it so maybe instead of saying
visualize success if you want to fail we
might say visualize obstacles and your
strategize about how you might keep some
of those obstacles from arising in the
first place
plan how you’ll navigate through the
ones that probably will be there and if
there are challenges you can’t predict
in advance or if there is loss no that
you will figure out what to do that you
will take care of yourself and then go
on to write a good next chapter I
propose this equation your vision of the
future you want plus detail detail that
includes anticipating obstacles and
using your strengths to create paths
around them equals the road to your
destination as we wind down I invite you
to imagine that it’s next week and
you’re back in your world at home or
work or school and you’re feeling
inspired and energized by some of these
ideas you’re doing the things you always
do and there’s also a difference
sparkling moments are happening a little
more often with the stuff of life you’re
more resilient when you slip it’s not a
deal breaker because you’re getting back
on track so much sooner you have more
clarity about what you really want and
the steps realistically needed to get
there and as you add detail you see how
much solution building developing
debugging connecting you’re already
doing on one level
some of those things you do every day
may seem ordinary on another level they
are extraordinary so stay the course
take that next step and let it point the
way to the next one and then another and
then another because it’s the small
stuff that makes the big stuff happen
thank you [Applause]
when you look at the screen behind me
nothing or a black rectangle would be
correct answers but what if I asked you
to visualize something let’s do a short
exercise visualize an amazing dinner
tomorrow see it in your mind’s eye
experience it with your other senses if
you wish the aroma the flavor perfectly
hot or cold maybe the sound a sizzle or
a clink but can visualization help you
create the future you want consider this
quote visualize success if you want to
fail that’s right
visualize success if you want to fail
that’s the title of an article by David
DeSalvo published in Forbes magazine a
few years back the title took me by
surprise I’m a clinical psychologist a
therapist a life coach and I’m familiar
with the research on visualization I’ve
seen how valuable it can be for many
people at the same time I agree that on
its own
visualization isn’t sufficient to create
success dinner or anything else but what
if there’s an ingredient you can add to
visualization that substantially
increases its power and what if that
ingredient is something you already have
in your experience in things you do
every day today I’m going to tell you
that I think that ingredient is detail
at
in detail Muse being as precise as you
can about what you want it means
planning specific steps to your
destination and then taking them whether
that destination is an important life
goal or a delicious dinner and where
does this detail come from that’s the
next and really exciting part because
it’s already there it’s within you in
strengths and resources you already have
in the stuff you’re already doing and
because it’s always easier to do what’s
already in your repertoire once you
recognize and tap into those things the
process takes off I like to think about
it in terms of the metaphor I borrow
from my colleague Terry Paseo who
practices in Colorado where a lot of
people ski but you don’t have to be a
great skier to appreciate this image
when you’re skiing it’s a really good
idea not to bump into trees but if
there’s a tree and you look at it too
much your body might steer toward the
tree so don’t look just at the tree see
the bigger picture focus on the path
that winding clear space between the
trees lean one way than the other use
your balance your judgment use your
equipment your skis your poles and
that’s sort of a metaphor for life steer
toward your destination and use the
special features the detail in your
skills and tools to help you get there
there are so many amazing stories that
illustrate the
power of detail with examples that range
from the seemingly unremarkable on one
hand to the profound and poignant on the
other I want to tell you just a few the
first story is about a psychology
experiment done with some college
undergraduates one in December just
before Christmas break psychologist
Peter gollwitzer and Veronica
Brandstatter gave each of their subjects
an envelope with the following
instructions you are to write a vivid
report about how you spent Christmas Eve
how you felt about it and how it
compared with your expectations of how
Christmas Eve should be they were
supposed to do this and mail it back
within 48 hours of Christmas Eve for
half of the subjects the envelope
included another page it was a short
form to complete and turn in right then
that asked them to specify when during
those 48 hours they would write the
report and where they would do it like
I’ll be in the bedroom at my grandma’s
after Christmas lunch while the kids are
playing outside or I have a 9 a.m.
flight from San Diego to JFK on December
26th and I’ll do it on the plane or
whatever that page was the only
difference between the two groups so how
many people actually wrote the report
and mailed it back within the 48 hour
window there was a dramatic difference
between the groups of the people who
only got the instructions to do the task
about 30 percent of them did it off
those who were asked to take five extra
minutes beforehand to specify the win
and where more than 70 percent did it in
the greater scheme of things writing
down what
did on Christmas Eve isn’t life changing
but if detailed planning can make such a
great difference with something that
small imagine what it can do for
something more important when you’re
transferring assets into your living
trust or deciding how to start that
difficult conversation you’ve been
avoiding details supports things that
absolutely make a difference another
story Viktor Frankl was an Austrian
neurologist and psychiatrist in 1942 he
was also a slave laborer in a
concentration camp one winter day in
Poland he was on a forced march with
other prisoners he was sick and
malnourished and he fell in the snow the
guards beat Frankel with a club and
ordered him to get to his feet he
couldn’t he also knew that if he didn’t
he would be left out there to die and
then Frankel envisioned himself not in
Poland not in the snow but in a lecture
hall at a podium he was delivering a
brilliant lecture about how some
prisoners managed to survive somehow he
stumbled to his feet as he struggled
through the snow he composed the details
of his lecture in his mind Frankel
survived the March the day the war fast
forward almost 50 years Viktor Frankl
has just finished delivering
that speech he’s getting a standing
ovation from an audience of 7,000 in my
work I sometimes hear people say they
feel like prisoners of the past for me
the Viktor Frankl story opens up an
alternate possibility the future or your
detailed vision of it can shape the
present and sometimes it can help you
transcend the past the next story comes
from solution-focused therapy
therapist steve DeShazer was talking
with a new client I’m going to call him
Carl a man who was profoundly depressed
since losing a leg in an industrial
accident life seemed empty to Carl he
rarely left his bedroom DeShazer asked
Carl to imagine the future he wanted and
he deliberately used the language of
miracles he said imagine that tonight
while you’re sleeping a miracle happens
you wake up it’s tomorrow morning what’s
the first thing that’s different
Carl responded that he would have his
leg back DeShazer nodded that response
made sense after all he had asked for a
miracle DeShazer and Carl were both men
who said what was important and no more
Carl was silent for a while
DeShazer was silent too then Carl spoke
he said he would go down to the kitchen
and make breakfast again DeShazer nodded
and then asked what carl would do next
and after that one question at a time
the inquiry added detail first about
what else Carl would do and then about
how those things would make a difference
and then about pieces of this scenario
that were already starting to happen
Carl made no further mention of getting
his leg back Carl understood what kind
of miracle they were talking about
he knew that psychotherapy doesn’t
regenerate severed body parts and he
discovered that he didn’t have to wait
for his original miracle to happen to
use everyday activities as stepping
sometimes I invite people to visualize
if they wish a kind of slideshow of the
good detail in their own lives this is a
fast-paced stream of images words audio
video clips in no particular order you
see a collage of detail cool stuff you
already do already have in your life
there are photos of the people who love
you and support you some of the clips
are of you at your best
doing something you love in that sweet
spot where you’re at one with what
there are images that capture something
special about you it might be your
capacity for connection and being on the
same
Paige with another person or your
passion for adventure what else notice
an image or caption or a moment from
your life as it comes into focus your
slideshow streams other clips too
there’s the time you made a hard choice
and then embraced it there’s also that
moment when you knew it was time to let
go and you went in a different direction
you see the time when you were careful
when you used your good healthy caution
the day you allowed extra time just in
case and are glad you did the time you
made that back-up plan there are the
moments when you just kept going
literally or figuratively the time when
you were out of breath and it felt like
you couldn’t go around one more
switchback and you kept reading up that
mountain and eventually got to the top
the time you showed up for work or
school when every bone in your body
didn’t want to maybe at the time you
lost it or blew it and then did what you
had to do to fix it the time when life
went wop-wop and you discovered
flexibility or resilience you didn’t
know you had the time of strength or
skill or detail from another place in
your life emerged exactly when you
needed it so maybe instead of saying
visualize success if you want to fail we
might say visualize obstacles and your
strategize about how you might keep some
of those obstacles from arising in the
first place
plan how you’ll navigate through the
ones that probably will be there and if
there are challenges you can’t predict
in advance or if there is loss no that
you will figure out what to do that you
will take care of yourself and then go
on to write a good next chapter I
propose this equation your vision of the
future you want plus detail detail that
includes anticipating obstacles and
using your strengths to create paths
around them equals the road to your
destination as we wind down I invite you
to imagine that it’s next week and
you’re back in your world at home or
work or school and you’re feeling
inspired and energized by some of these
ideas you’re doing the things you always
do and there’s also a difference
sparkling moments are happening a little
more often with the stuff of life you’re
more resilient when you slip it’s not a
deal breaker because you’re getting back
on track so much sooner you have more
clarity about what you really want and
the steps realistically needed to get
there and as you add detail you see how
much solution building developing
debugging connecting you’re already
doing on one level
some of those things you do every day
may seem ordinary on another level they
are extraordinary so stay the course
take that next step and let it point the
way to the next one and then another and
then another because it’s the small
stuff that makes the big stuff happen
thank you [Applause]
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