[Applause]
it’s good to be here standing in front
although I have to admit that and
breathing a bit faster than I normally
do because I’m standing on this stage in
front of you however today I feel I have
more conscious control over my breathing
is not always that way for me I was born
two months prematurely and waiting only
four pounds and I had to stay in an
incubator for the first 30 days of my
life and after that every single year at
some point I had to go back to the
hospital for my breathing difficulties I
was trying to heart to breathe in fact
the more I tried the more I couldn’t
breathe
this usually lasts for about two weeks
at a time as a child I always wished
this could go away but I didn’t know how
and I didn’t think it was possible
because different doctors checked me
they all understood the symptoms but
they didn’t understand why so for the
first 25 years of my life I thought
something was really wrong with me
physically at age 25 I was working in
Taiwan in an interior design company
there was a stressful deadline-driven
job and one day I was sitting in my
office this breathing difficulties gave
me a major attack the chest pain was so
intense I just couldn’t get my breath
right I end up in a hospital again
I thought I just can’t do this anymore
but what can I do
someone anyone please help me then the
doctor walked in he looked at me he said
maybe this is psychological
he just brushed it off I was in shock I
thought what I have a psychological
problem what great news because was so
long I thought something was wrong with
me physically how many times that you in
your life that you try something again
and again and again you don’t get what
you want and you don’t succeed you give
up so when the doctor gave me a new
approach to make myself better I thought
there was a new light so I quit my job I
went back to Canada to study psychology
and first day in school the professor
said do not start to go around and
analyzing everyone but he didn’t say
anything about myself I was doing this
for me anyways so I started to analyze
how and what I was thinking but the more
I was thinking about it the more I got
confused most importantly I was still
meanwhile my friend asked me to join her
in yoga but she forgot to mention there
was a hot yoga class
it was winter I was wearing these thick
long pants I thought they’re gonna keep
me all cozy and warm
of course I struggled through the whole
class but I felt really good afterwards
so I started to go back the next day and
then the day after almost every day was
not that I liked it so much rather I
bought a monthly unlimited pass I was
gonna make my money’s worth over time
when I started to gasp for air I felt I
had more control without me thinking
about it consciously because in yoga
class I was holding the posture in
stillness my body started to regulate
and that put me in a state of balance my
breath started to come to me it was like
a butterfly
flown to me and land on my nose without
me trying to grab it and I stopped
trying yoga guide me to the awareness of
my own body and feel contracts us my
body and my breath was constricted I
learned that the breath is the bridge
between the body and the mind and the
mind controls the body and the body
reflects to my that means the body also
helped the key to my mind when I was in
yoga class I got out of my head and into
my body and my body opened up to yoga
poses
you know what that opened up my mind
when I change my body response to fear
that changed my mind too you know that
one thing I didn’t think I have any
control over in fact there was one of
the only thing I did have control it was
my breathing breathing is the only
bodily function that we can perform
consciously and unconsciously is
controlled by two set of nerves one
controls the involuntary and the other
controls the involuntary when I started
to have more control over my breathing I
thought maybe I can have more control
over my life and take on challenges I
started to take on yoga competition as
my challenge of my fear because the
result and feedback was immediate any
thought of shaking losing balance and
falling out of poses you know the
thought of falling out of poses in front
of many people while I was wearing
something barely more than my underwear
trust me that was a very scary thought
and I know some of you are quite
confused about the idea of yoga
competition because Yoga supposed to be
a self practiced but for me the word
competition is the perfect setup for
fear because all competitions leads to
results and that leads to fear of
failure fear of not being your best fear
of losing even fear of winning one of
her fellow yoga competitors she was an
actress she also performed on stage
fully naked before however she was
sharing that the most frightening
experience was when she was on stage for
the competition because when she was
acting she was given a role she wasn’t
really herself but when she was on stage
for the competition she fell her heart
and her soul laid bare she felt
vulnerable she felt she was exposing who
she really was
her weaknesses her strength and her fear
I know when you see this stage it’s like
a default setup that you should be
afraid because of the setup the audience
the camera the spotlight the makeup and
the hair that will certainly give you an
impression that you have to be at your
best and you have to try your best
however is not about trying to be your
best
it’s about being because when you’re
being you are in the state of the best
and you stop trying yo girl competitors
might spend days weeks and months to
work on one yoga pose and they spent
years to change the bodies however when
it come to this stage is not about how
the inner thigh rotation or the dazzling
movement from one pose to the other is
about everything it’s about the
breathing it’s about the conscious
stillness and the conscious movements
it’s about the conscious decision of
fear acceptance few months before I won
the International yoga championship
someone asked me who are your biggest
competitors
I said Indians and Americans because
Indians are known to compete from an
early age Americans invest lots of time
in training and during those times I was
working really hard in one yoga pose and
I couldn’t quite get it I would wait
until my son would go to bed and I
worked until 3 o clock in the morning
but that was mostly frustration because
I couldn’t quite master that one pose so
when someone asked me again who are your
biggest competitors I said me it’s
definitely me few days before the
championship my coach asked me the same
question I respond me but in that moment
a thought came up it was like why do you
have to go against yourself why do you
go have to go against your fear can you
work with it your fear is that your arms
and legs you don’t have to get rid of it
can you work with it and in that moment
it changed my relationship with my fear
I thought maybe I do have a choice of
how am I going to respond to it
fear is like shooting stars it’s gonna
come and it’s gonna go and it’s gonna
come again and it’s gonna go we don’t
really have any control over it there’s
one yoga pose I used to compete it for
many years and every single time I went
on stage there were too fearful thoughts
showed up third thought was I’m on stage
in front of many people second thought
was I’m going to fall out and in the
next moment I’m going to demonstrate a
yoga pose and speak out loud as the
thought enter my
my this is what you look like I’m on
stage in front of many people I’m going
[Applause]
[Music]
between my fear and my response there
was a decision I can either let my fear
distract me
or let it pass on his way fear is real
and is natural and it’s part of my life
maybe next time when you fear shows up
you can remember you have a choice of
how you’re gonna respond to it and I
know sometimes it doesn’t feel like you
have a choice or maybe when you catch
you fear you can be excited about it
like you’re catching a shooting star
because what lies on the other side of
fear maybe is what you really want at
times I feel unworthy to talk about my
dreams it’s almost easier to talk about
my fear then dream my dreams if what we
really want lies on the other side of
fear if we started to look into fear
consciously
that might help us to get closer to our
dreams undress your fear get to know
your fear accept your fear and notice
how this affects your breath because the
way you’re breathing affects your being
in this moment and this moment thank you
[Applause]
[Music] [Applause]
it’s good to be here standing in front
although I have to admit that and
breathing a bit faster than I normally
do because I’m standing on this stage in
front of you however today I feel I have
more conscious control over my breathing
is not always that way for me I was born
two months prematurely and waiting only
four pounds and I had to stay in an
incubator for the first 30 days of my
life and after that every single year at
some point I had to go back to the
hospital for my breathing difficulties I
was trying to heart to breathe in fact
the more I tried the more I couldn’t
breathe
this usually lasts for about two weeks
at a time as a child I always wished
this could go away but I didn’t know how
and I didn’t think it was possible
because different doctors checked me
they all understood the symptoms but
they didn’t understand why so for the
first 25 years of my life I thought
something was really wrong with me
physically at age 25 I was working in
Taiwan in an interior design company
there was a stressful deadline-driven
job and one day I was sitting in my
office this breathing difficulties gave
me a major attack the chest pain was so
intense I just couldn’t get my breath
right I end up in a hospital again
I thought I just can’t do this anymore
but what can I do
someone anyone please help me then the
doctor walked in he looked at me he said
maybe this is psychological
he just brushed it off I was in shock I
thought what I have a psychological
problem what great news because was so
long I thought something was wrong with
me physically how many times that you in
your life that you try something again
and again and again you don’t get what
you want and you don’t succeed you give
up so when the doctor gave me a new
approach to make myself better I thought
there was a new light so I quit my job I
went back to Canada to study psychology
and first day in school the professor
said do not start to go around and
analyzing everyone but he didn’t say
anything about myself I was doing this
for me anyways so I started to analyze
how and what I was thinking but the more
I was thinking about it the more I got
confused most importantly I was still
meanwhile my friend asked me to join her
in yoga but she forgot to mention there
was a hot yoga class
it was winter I was wearing these thick
long pants I thought they’re gonna keep
me all cozy and warm
of course I struggled through the whole
class but I felt really good afterwards
so I started to go back the next day and
then the day after almost every day was
not that I liked it so much rather I
bought a monthly unlimited pass I was
gonna make my money’s worth over time
when I started to gasp for air I felt I
had more control without me thinking
about it consciously because in yoga
class I was holding the posture in
stillness my body started to regulate
and that put me in a state of balance my
breath started to come to me it was like
a butterfly
flown to me and land on my nose without
me trying to grab it and I stopped
trying yoga guide me to the awareness of
my own body and feel contracts us my
body and my breath was constricted I
learned that the breath is the bridge
between the body and the mind and the
mind controls the body and the body
reflects to my that means the body also
helped the key to my mind when I was in
yoga class I got out of my head and into
my body and my body opened up to yoga
poses
you know what that opened up my mind
when I change my body response to fear
that changed my mind too you know that
one thing I didn’t think I have any
control over in fact there was one of
the only thing I did have control it was
my breathing breathing is the only
bodily function that we can perform
consciously and unconsciously is
controlled by two set of nerves one
controls the involuntary and the other
controls the involuntary when I started
to have more control over my breathing I
thought maybe I can have more control
over my life and take on challenges I
started to take on yoga competition as
my challenge of my fear because the
result and feedback was immediate any
thought of shaking losing balance and
falling out of poses you know the
thought of falling out of poses in front
of many people while I was wearing
something barely more than my underwear
trust me that was a very scary thought
and I know some of you are quite
confused about the idea of yoga
competition because Yoga supposed to be
a self practiced but for me the word
competition is the perfect setup for
fear because all competitions leads to
results and that leads to fear of
failure fear of not being your best fear
of losing even fear of winning one of
her fellow yoga competitors she was an
actress she also performed on stage
fully naked before however she was
sharing that the most frightening
experience was when she was on stage for
the competition because when she was
acting she was given a role she wasn’t
really herself but when she was on stage
for the competition she fell her heart
and her soul laid bare she felt
vulnerable she felt she was exposing who
she really was
her weaknesses her strength and her fear
I know when you see this stage it’s like
a default setup that you should be
afraid because of the setup the audience
the camera the spotlight the makeup and
the hair that will certainly give you an
impression that you have to be at your
best and you have to try your best
however is not about trying to be your
best
it’s about being because when you’re
being you are in the state of the best
and you stop trying yo girl competitors
might spend days weeks and months to
work on one yoga pose and they spent
years to change the bodies however when
it come to this stage is not about how
the inner thigh rotation or the dazzling
movement from one pose to the other is
about everything it’s about the
breathing it’s about the conscious
stillness and the conscious movements
it’s about the conscious decision of
fear acceptance few months before I won
the International yoga championship
someone asked me who are your biggest
competitors
I said Indians and Americans because
Indians are known to compete from an
early age Americans invest lots of time
in training and during those times I was
working really hard in one yoga pose and
I couldn’t quite get it I would wait
until my son would go to bed and I
worked until 3 o clock in the morning
but that was mostly frustration because
I couldn’t quite master that one pose so
when someone asked me again who are your
biggest competitors I said me it’s
definitely me few days before the
championship my coach asked me the same
question I respond me but in that moment
a thought came up it was like why do you
have to go against yourself why do you
go have to go against your fear can you
work with it your fear is that your arms
and legs you don’t have to get rid of it
can you work with it and in that moment
it changed my relationship with my fear
I thought maybe I do have a choice of
how am I going to respond to it
fear is like shooting stars it’s gonna
come and it’s gonna go and it’s gonna
come again and it’s gonna go we don’t
really have any control over it there’s
one yoga pose I used to compete it for
many years and every single time I went
on stage there were too fearful thoughts
showed up third thought was I’m on stage
in front of many people second thought
was I’m going to fall out and in the
next moment I’m going to demonstrate a
yoga pose and speak out loud as the
thought enter my
my this is what you look like I’m on
stage in front of many people I’m going
[Applause]
[Music]
between my fear and my response there
was a decision I can either let my fear
distract me
or let it pass on his way fear is real
and is natural and it’s part of my life
maybe next time when you fear shows up
you can remember you have a choice of
how you’re gonna respond to it and I
know sometimes it doesn’t feel like you
have a choice or maybe when you catch
you fear you can be excited about it
like you’re catching a shooting star
because what lies on the other side of
fear maybe is what you really want at
times I feel unworthy to talk about my
dreams it’s almost easier to talk about
my fear then dream my dreams if what we
really want lies on the other side of
fear if we started to look into fear
consciously
that might help us to get closer to our
dreams undress your fear get to know
your fear accept your fear and notice
how this affects your breath because the
way you’re breathing affects your being
in this moment and this moment thank you
[Applause]
[Music] [Applause]
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