rushed all the time every minute every
second of our lives we need to be
somewhere do something be someone we
never pause to think and if something
comes in our way we find it very hard to
let go we become anxious depressed
sometimes some of us even so with the
suicidal well make things worse social
media was introduced and now we’re no
longer just in a rush but in competition
with Samira with Alex have wood Smith
and 300 other people that we follow but
don’t know anything about on Facebook
instant Instagram snapchat and whatever
other social media outlets are there we
forget that whatever is online is
fabricated some of which staged so we
started doing things not because we want
to do it but because Jane and Jack went
on that course or on that trip our our
energies are wasted we feel empty I’m
not shy to say here and for the first
time in front of a lot of people that I
was one of those people felt rushed most
of her life I thought I lost three years
of my life after coming back from
Scotland because I had to change my
undergrad degree I didn’t want to be a
dentist anymore to make things worse
I’m a Middle Eastern woman that means I
have to be married at a certain age any
middle-eastern woman in here correct me
if I’m wrong 22 on average and to add on
to the pressure my 17 year old sister
younger than me was not only graduating
from college at a time but was getting
married I was a spinster at the age of
18 everywhere I went
I’m serious people used to console me
like pat on my back saying you’ll be
okay
it was bizarre I felt rushed I could not
enjoy my university years I didn’t join
any club
I just wanted to graduate rush rush I
got married rush rush six months into
the marriage I got pregnant I couldn’t I
gave birth I couldn’t rush that even if
I wanted to the pregnancy was unplanned
and so if threw me off my path
completely I wanted that promotion so
bad forty-five calendars calendar days
not working days after giving birth and
a c-section I gave my daughter to my mom
and I went back to work to prove myself
I found myself in a very very hectic
place I could not enjoy any moment
nothing matter and everything else other
than work was a waste of time even
spending time with my friends my routine
consisted of me coming back from work
really late spending one hour with my
daughter her falling asleep on the sofa
me replying to emails up to 2:00 a.m.
and then falling asleep on that sofa
next to her I even worked on weekends
little did I know that the universe
would conspire against me come on who
has a contingency plan for their life
maybe a plan B but not you know a plan C
D or E who thinks about that and I had
multiple curveballs not one in a span of
two months and one year into my dream
job just to put things into perspective
my dream job was risk management that
means I need to be fuck focused I need
to go through a part of data analysis
and make sure the bank doesn’t lose
their money I not only had to prove to
my senior executive my technical
capabilities but prove myself as a woman
and as an Emirati and oh yeah it
happened during 2009 during the economic
recession my it was at the very testing
place of time for my career life was
hectic the first curve ball was an ear
this traumatic event it left me with
multiple bruises a ruptured eardrum
post-traumatic stress disorder multiple
concussions and yes a broken pinkie just
for for the people who don’t know what
PTSD is it’s a mental illness where you
have flash back off the near-death
situation during a normal course of the
day and it paralyzes you I was released
from the hospital without any doctor or
psychologist talking to me about this
emotional stress I did not know that I
had PTSD it made things really
interesting so I sued I’m still in my
so-called Russ state so as soon as I was
released from the hospital in the
afternoon I went to work I wanted to be
the employee of the month someone to
work and when my casa pinkie came into
the way I found some scissors and I cut
cut the calf off to type yes I use all
my fingers to type like I said I’m a bit
weird you a left me with a crooked
pinkie you can see it if you look close
and I only have to fix it I have to go
back to the hospital for them to break
it again that was that’s not happening
you would think that I would learn my
lesson by then you know I have a crooked
pinkie and all but no so whilst that was
the state of delirium my mind was
shifting from present to past due to
certain triggers in my environment
funnily it was my boss’s voice I not
only had to deal with work raising a
child on my own going to court hearings
to get my divorce yes that was happening
at the same time as well but also wound
started showing up on my ankles out of
nowhere
if felt like acid was pouring on my feet
my flesh started breaking from inside
out and no doctor could tell me what was
wrong but they all agreed on one thing
that they had to stuff my legs into
compression stocking this up to here for
blood to flow to my scars for my scars
my schedule looked like something like
this it was like a downward spiral of
emotional hurricane I wake up happy I
become very sad and I could break down
in the car and then my PTSD is triggered
I’ve become anxious again and back to
happiness and yeah you can see I started
having panic attacks any normal person I
think would have panic attacks and the
panic attacks got worse when one of my
doctor decided to tell me via email that
I had an autoimmune disorder so not only
was I dealing with external obstacles in
my way my buddy was fighting against me
my world was starting to crumble down I
was never 100% I started breaking down
even at work I would go to the toilet
and cry without so no one can see me I
nearly lost my dream job my relationship
with my daughter
of course my sanity I know everyone’s
thinking she didn’t mention any friends
or family or support no they were around
and they were very supportive but they
could not put themselves in my shoes
they did not understand what was going
on until one day a very close friend of
mine who was worried that I might go on
a bender or get addicted to xanax or
something asked if I wanted to join him
at his support group which was
unconventional for my issues and
unconventional for an Emirati
I was feared about being judged but I
was already rock bottom I had nothing to
lose so I decided to go and guess what
it was the best thing I’ve ever done
this group has the process in place and
a serenity prayer
thus arranged a prayer was so surreal
that I wrote it down on paper and I wore
what resonated with me from this group
is the importance of having a support
somewhere where you can feel safe you
can remove all the masks you wear during
the day no one will judge you the other
thing that resonated with me is the idea
of living in the now so the idea of
living in the now
not new we all know it it’s a pillar to
buddhism and taoism it’s the hottest
topic of the year as companies and
schools are introducing mindfulness to
the routines of their employees and
students especially as most of us now
live to capture the moment than live for
the moment what is meant by living in
the now is that you have control only on
your current actions and habits that
tomorrow is gone and the future is yet
to come to be able to live in the now
and let’s break down the prayer for you
to make this more easy grant me the
serenity to accept the things I cannot
change that means you have to find the
strength and inner peace to let go
stress does not come from time you know
from the fear of having no time to do
something but actually stress comes from
the idea that with the desire that we
have to control everything if we don’t
let go we become obsessed and so enraged
and sometimes depressed if we let go you
become calm you are in a better mental
position to make decisions for me it was
to accept the fact that I had an
untreatable blood condition and I could
no longer feel my legs even as I speak
right now it was also the fact that I
had to forgive a lot let go of that post
traumatic event that was caused by an
external factor and not by myself I have
a coping mechanism I give myself a five
minute break down time and I usually cry
know that that’s an understatement I
weep I passionately weep it makes me
feel better the second line in the
prayer says courage to change the things
I can you need to find your own passion
life you can be one of two people people
who sulk or complain or those who find a
way they dig deep put away usually you
remain in
because of fear nothing else but fear
you’re worried that the other you know
the green is not the grasses the green
the grass is not greener on the other
side and so you stay in your comfort
zone remember that all problems have a
solution you just need to change your
perspective on life and become more
self-aware
by becoming more self-aware you know
your stressors your motivators your
passions your weaknesses and your
strengths you know who you are so you
become intentional and pragmatic I now
have a simple formula for my problems
and I hope it helps you the problem
equals can I and I emphasize on the word
I cuz know no one else’s opinion should
matter as long as you’re not harming
them can I live with it or can I find a
solution if you do not have the solution
someone in your network will have it you
just have to have the humility to go ask
for help and flag you’re flawed another
thing very important to be present is to
have a month and to have a singular
focus on the person you’re talking to
the idea you’re thinking off or the work
that you’re doing just right now
multitasking and I know most women think
multitasking works but it doesn’t if you
want to be present the last statement of
the prayer says the wisdom to know the
difference so once you let go of things
you cannot change and have the courage
to change the things you can now you
become resilient you are present
I know it’s human nature to think ahead
of plan but what about right now what
about this minute cherish it
or you’re going to lose it and then I’d
like to say that life is all about
perspective and mindset focus and energy
are two things you need to be present a
minute is very unforgiving it only gives
you 60 seconds whoever you are just 60
seconds whatever your situation is the
question is what are you going to do
with these 60 seconds are you going to
be a slave of time
are you going to cherish those 60
seconds be yourself find your own rhythm
and path and life don’t be like me and I
urge you please not to wait for some
suffering to happen or a traumatic event
to change your way in life it’s not a
very difficult thing to do to be present
you just need to close your eyes close
your eyes breathe feel you’re already
there thank you [Applause]