I want to start by defining service now
hopefully most of you can recognize this
character on the screen behind me
Lumiere is by far one of my favorite
Disney characters from by far one of my
favorite Disney movies Beauty and the
Beast in fact in a recent conversation
with my mother we were talking about
that moment that he has to shine right
in by far my favorite Disney song be our
guest which I think after a few drinks
maybe some of us would be even inclined
to sing at karaoke right in be our guest
my mom was talking me about it she’s
like you know just this kind of reminds
me it illustrates that thing that you
were talking about which is a very
transactional relationship between the
server and the guests right
it’s very one-sided lumière is kind of
bragging about everything that he and
the other cutlery and the castle can
accomplish right and for me this sort of
interaction resembles a very it’s a very
linear interaction right traveling down
a road from point A to point B and this
is all right this is what typically
happens when we walk into a coffee shop
right frequently it’s what happens when
you get to a bar you get in you ask for
the thing that you want you receive it
you pay for it and you walk away there’s
nothing wrong with this interaction
however service to me is a little bit
different service is holistic right when
we’re walking down that road from point
A to point B you don’t really get the
whole visual you don’t get to see the
landscape so you might get that cup of
coffee but you miss out on all of those
rolling hillsides of pastries that you
could have jumped on right the babbling
brooks of cocktails from all over the
world this landscape photo I actually
took myself on a big cross-country
bicycle tour that I did a couple of
years ago where I had a lot of time to
ponder my surroundings and I learned a
lot about myself mostly that I like
Montana never thought I’d like Montana
now in service right you have the
opportunity to surprise to dazzle it
requires the interaction and the
engagement of the guest the guest has to
allow for service to occur and so when I
watch be our guest right that’s what I
see I see Lumiere bringing Belle in to
the occasion try the gray stuff it’s
delicious right if she didn’t go out on
a lemon truck she would never know that
she loves gray stuff I guess the guest
in every service experience has the
opportunity to completely derail but
also completely empower service now I
know this because I’ve been in service
quite a while I’ve been doing this for
the last eight years I’m relatively well
known in the world have been published
in several magazines had the opportunity
to shake drinks all over the world and
my colleagues are some of the very best
in the business some of them are here
today and I’m so thankful to see you all
and even on our best days when we’re
totally killing it and the cocktails are
flowing and all of our guests have
smiles on their faces and drinks in
their hands we still manage to have
terrible service interactions so I know
fear not there are some tips and tricks
right to guaranteeing
that perfect service experience and at
the basis of all of these ideas is
something that I’ve come to term as
radical empathy so radical in this
situation means non-traditional outside
of societal norms so if we think about
our normative culture especially in a
capitalist society it’s very much
it’s centered around incentivizing the
individual self-interest right acting in
the individual self-interest what’s
required here for service is a paradigm
shift to placing importance and value on
the acting on behalf of the collective
self-interest empathy is the ability to
honestly understand the realities of
another person’s existence now in a
service scenario no matter how much you
might have in common with that human
being outside of outside of that
engagement you there’s a wall between
you right from the start there your
server and you’re the guest
so bridging that gap is necessary in
order to be able to engage
person-to-person right now there’s a few
ways to do this thank you thank you is
really really simple and I don’t mean
just say thank you upon receiving
something I like to say thank you right
off the bat so what I mean by that is
when you walk into a restaurant
typically the first thing you hear is
welcome in and my recommended response
there is thank you for having me thank
you for having me is simple it’s concise
and it does a lot of things namely it
dispels any sort of notion of
entitlement that a guest might have had
about upon entering that space it shows
that you’re open to receiving service
and that you’re ready to be wowed right
thinking back on be our guest that’s a
very spectacular scene right
every little every little piece of plate
we’re in that castle is doing something
there’s champagne poppin there’s like
beer bubbling over canteens mrs. Potts
is like ready right after dinner with a
tea service it’s really really nice each
one of those actors in the castle is a
master of their craft and when you’re in
a restaurant it’s exactly the same thing
your server your bartender the cooks the
host every one of those people is
trained to be the best that they can be
so as the good TEDx audience members
that you are continue that curiosity
that you’re also well-known for ask
questions show that you’re invested in
the experience because when you’re
engaged with what you’re eating and
drinking you’re actually showing that
you’re invested in the success of the
server most of you probably think that
you’re better than this baby at hiding
your emotions when you taste something
that’s maybe not totally to your liking
but I’m here to tell you that you’re so
wrong you look just like this baby
tasting a lemon every time you drink
another sip of that cocktail and it’s
rough it’s rough for me to see that
giving honest feedback is a huge part of
service right say we’re having a really
nice time you really liking my service
so far I’m super nice right you’re not
digging that cocktail I can tell as soon
as you decide you’re gonna tell a little
white lie in order to not hurt my
feelings what I see is a break in that
honesty and that maybe you’re not really
interested in tasting things that taste
that good so if you’re not interested in
getting a good meal or a good drink
which is the thing that I’m trying to
provide to you I become less and less
incentivized to provide that service
right I become less and less invested in
you as a guest so your quality of
service and that situation is gonna go
down now this is tough emotional
engagement is hard and as a member of
the service industry I’ll tell you it’s
exhausting I get home from my weekends
and I’m like ready not to talk to
another human for a couple of days but
there is a lot to be gained you might
learn something new so for me what the
thing that kept me in this industry was
the opportunity to continue to learn
about these very very deep wells of
knowledge right when it comes to spirits
especially production distillation
history there’s so much out there every
single day I learned something new you
have the ability to widen your circle
right we’re humans on the other side
there with very full lives and every
time you engage deeply with another
person opportunities arise right I’ve
had the opportunity to go all over the
world shake drinks in London Berlin in
New York Seattle Mexico I have met some
of the most amazing people through this
industry not only the other ones behind
the bar but some of my guests have
become some very very good friends of
mine and I’ve been able to participate
in their lives as well whether that’s
planning a birthday party for their
father’s 70th or helping them by by
donating my services to their
philanthropic efforts right there’s a
lot that we can do when we’re working
together and last but not least you’re
exercising a muscle here every time you
exercise empathy and that’s emotional
intelligence and as our emotional
intelligence grows we become better
employees better managers that our
parents
right and just like with exercising a
muscle it becomes easier every time so
you’ll start to engage in this empathic
activity outside of service scenarios
and when that happens
think about the multiplication of your
circle think how your thought process
might change a pat upon understanding
the worlds of your uber drivers your
teachers your children right the
applications here are endless at your
seats
I believe he received a recipe I really
wanted to give you guys a cocktail just
so you know but we settled on a recipe
so the recipe here is for one of my
favorite cocktails and that is the
daiquiri now most people probably think
of the daiquiri as those like very
sugary sweet things you might get on
Bourbon Street in New Orleans but that
is simply not the case
they give daiquiris a very bad name the
Decker is a classic it’s rum lime sugar
that’s it nice and easy however you were
it requires balance right just like
every other cocktail so if something
happens there you put in too much lime
juice it’s gonna be too tart too much
sugar it’s gonna be too sweet
you really can’t handle much more than
that too much rum it’s gonna be too much
rum I gotta get a little busy it gets
out of whack right this is exactly the
same when it comes to service scenarios
so that served as my inspiration here
for what I believed was the recipe for
successful service and that’s openness
trust and honesty and a balanced
contribution from both the guests in the
server so cocktails balance the balance
therein has served as my inspiration
professionally and personally
over the last year’s last eight years or
so and I hope that it can work similarly
for you in the future so Cheers and
thank you for having me [Applause]
hopefully most of you can recognize this
character on the screen behind me
Lumiere is by far one of my favorite
Disney characters from by far one of my
favorite Disney movies Beauty and the
Beast in fact in a recent conversation
with my mother we were talking about
that moment that he has to shine right
in by far my favorite Disney song be our
guest which I think after a few drinks
maybe some of us would be even inclined
to sing at karaoke right in be our guest
my mom was talking me about it she’s
like you know just this kind of reminds
me it illustrates that thing that you
were talking about which is a very
transactional relationship between the
server and the guests right
it’s very one-sided lumière is kind of
bragging about everything that he and
the other cutlery and the castle can
accomplish right and for me this sort of
interaction resembles a very it’s a very
linear interaction right traveling down
a road from point A to point B and this
is all right this is what typically
happens when we walk into a coffee shop
right frequently it’s what happens when
you get to a bar you get in you ask for
the thing that you want you receive it
you pay for it and you walk away there’s
nothing wrong with this interaction
however service to me is a little bit
different service is holistic right when
we’re walking down that road from point
A to point B you don’t really get the
whole visual you don’t get to see the
landscape so you might get that cup of
coffee but you miss out on all of those
rolling hillsides of pastries that you
could have jumped on right the babbling
brooks of cocktails from all over the
world this landscape photo I actually
took myself on a big cross-country
bicycle tour that I did a couple of
years ago where I had a lot of time to
ponder my surroundings and I learned a
lot about myself mostly that I like
Montana never thought I’d like Montana
now in service right you have the
opportunity to surprise to dazzle it
requires the interaction and the
engagement of the guest the guest has to
allow for service to occur and so when I
watch be our guest right that’s what I
see I see Lumiere bringing Belle in to
the occasion try the gray stuff it’s
delicious right if she didn’t go out on
a lemon truck she would never know that
she loves gray stuff I guess the guest
in every service experience has the
opportunity to completely derail but
also completely empower service now I
know this because I’ve been in service
quite a while I’ve been doing this for
the last eight years I’m relatively well
known in the world have been published
in several magazines had the opportunity
to shake drinks all over the world and
my colleagues are some of the very best
in the business some of them are here
today and I’m so thankful to see you all
and even on our best days when we’re
totally killing it and the cocktails are
flowing and all of our guests have
smiles on their faces and drinks in
their hands we still manage to have
terrible service interactions so I know
fear not there are some tips and tricks
right to guaranteeing
that perfect service experience and at
the basis of all of these ideas is
something that I’ve come to term as
radical empathy so radical in this
situation means non-traditional outside
of societal norms so if we think about
our normative culture especially in a
capitalist society it’s very much
it’s centered around incentivizing the
individual self-interest right acting in
the individual self-interest what’s
required here for service is a paradigm
shift to placing importance and value on
the acting on behalf of the collective
self-interest empathy is the ability to
honestly understand the realities of
another person’s existence now in a
service scenario no matter how much you
might have in common with that human
being outside of outside of that
engagement you there’s a wall between
you right from the start there your
server and you’re the guest
so bridging that gap is necessary in
order to be able to engage
person-to-person right now there’s a few
ways to do this thank you thank you is
really really simple and I don’t mean
just say thank you upon receiving
something I like to say thank you right
off the bat so what I mean by that is
when you walk into a restaurant
typically the first thing you hear is
welcome in and my recommended response
there is thank you for having me thank
you for having me is simple it’s concise
and it does a lot of things namely it
dispels any sort of notion of
entitlement that a guest might have had
about upon entering that space it shows
that you’re open to receiving service
and that you’re ready to be wowed right
thinking back on be our guest that’s a
very spectacular scene right
every little every little piece of plate
we’re in that castle is doing something
there’s champagne poppin there’s like
beer bubbling over canteens mrs. Potts
is like ready right after dinner with a
tea service it’s really really nice each
one of those actors in the castle is a
master of their craft and when you’re in
a restaurant it’s exactly the same thing
your server your bartender the cooks the
host every one of those people is
trained to be the best that they can be
so as the good TEDx audience members
that you are continue that curiosity
that you’re also well-known for ask
questions show that you’re invested in
the experience because when you’re
engaged with what you’re eating and
drinking you’re actually showing that
you’re invested in the success of the
server most of you probably think that
you’re better than this baby at hiding
your emotions when you taste something
that’s maybe not totally to your liking
but I’m here to tell you that you’re so
wrong you look just like this baby
tasting a lemon every time you drink
another sip of that cocktail and it’s
rough it’s rough for me to see that
giving honest feedback is a huge part of
service right say we’re having a really
nice time you really liking my service
so far I’m super nice right you’re not
digging that cocktail I can tell as soon
as you decide you’re gonna tell a little
white lie in order to not hurt my
feelings what I see is a break in that
honesty and that maybe you’re not really
interested in tasting things that taste
that good so if you’re not interested in
getting a good meal or a good drink
which is the thing that I’m trying to
provide to you I become less and less
incentivized to provide that service
right I become less and less invested in
you as a guest so your quality of
service and that situation is gonna go
down now this is tough emotional
engagement is hard and as a member of
the service industry I’ll tell you it’s
exhausting I get home from my weekends
and I’m like ready not to talk to
another human for a couple of days but
there is a lot to be gained you might
learn something new so for me what the
thing that kept me in this industry was
the opportunity to continue to learn
about these very very deep wells of
knowledge right when it comes to spirits
especially production distillation
history there’s so much out there every
single day I learned something new you
have the ability to widen your circle
right we’re humans on the other side
there with very full lives and every
time you engage deeply with another
person opportunities arise right I’ve
had the opportunity to go all over the
world shake drinks in London Berlin in
New York Seattle Mexico I have met some
of the most amazing people through this
industry not only the other ones behind
the bar but some of my guests have
become some very very good friends of
mine and I’ve been able to participate
in their lives as well whether that’s
planning a birthday party for their
father’s 70th or helping them by by
donating my services to their
philanthropic efforts right there’s a
lot that we can do when we’re working
together and last but not least you’re
exercising a muscle here every time you
exercise empathy and that’s emotional
intelligence and as our emotional
intelligence grows we become better
employees better managers that our
parents
right and just like with exercising a
muscle it becomes easier every time so
you’ll start to engage in this empathic
activity outside of service scenarios
and when that happens
think about the multiplication of your
circle think how your thought process
might change a pat upon understanding
the worlds of your uber drivers your
teachers your children right the
applications here are endless at your
seats
I believe he received a recipe I really
wanted to give you guys a cocktail just
so you know but we settled on a recipe
so the recipe here is for one of my
favorite cocktails and that is the
daiquiri now most people probably think
of the daiquiri as those like very
sugary sweet things you might get on
Bourbon Street in New Orleans but that
is simply not the case
they give daiquiris a very bad name the
Decker is a classic it’s rum lime sugar
that’s it nice and easy however you were
it requires balance right just like
every other cocktail so if something
happens there you put in too much lime
juice it’s gonna be too tart too much
sugar it’s gonna be too sweet
you really can’t handle much more than
that too much rum it’s gonna be too much
rum I gotta get a little busy it gets
out of whack right this is exactly the
same when it comes to service scenarios
so that served as my inspiration here
for what I believed was the recipe for
successful service and that’s openness
trust and honesty and a balanced
contribution from both the guests in the
server so cocktails balance the balance
therein has served as my inspiration
professionally and personally
over the last year’s last eight years or
so and I hope that it can work similarly
for you in the future so Cheers and
thank you for having me [Applause]
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