you
in my life experience and journey I had
the pleasure of meeting a lot of
successful people and I was always very
very curious to know the common
denominator factor that propelled their
ascent they all came from very different
backgrounds and some of them have to
make it from extremely unfavorable
conditions yet they all managed to
change their lives then I looked at my
own journey the ups and the downs of my
career the constant will to make it and
the hunger for more and I had to come to
terms with the fact that the actual
reason for success was something I
wouldn’t have really welcomed into my
life success came from the experience of
pain maybe it was a childish need for
more recognition and love from my
parents or a way to make them happier
when times got tough or maybe it was
simply a survival instinct kicking in
when money got tight the actual reason
is not that important what matters is
that it propelled my growth and it made
me think quicker plan more efficiently
and be faster before starting to work as
a personality at age 18 I used to work
at events as a hostess and my boss would
always give me the worst shifts and the
worst jobs for example I had to
distribute flyers at a casino until 3
a.m. in the morning dressed in a fluffy
pig suit I was obviously not happy with
the experience so I thought how can I
make my boss value me more and I went
and did miss Switzerland I became a
candidate and that night the night of
the election has completely changed my
life
needless to say I have never worn that
big suit again
later on a career adviser
my university told me what never ever
even dream about getting a job in
finance in London because what makes you
think you are better
the oldest international competition so
I put my CV in order booked a flight and
went to dozens of interviews until I
landed three experiences in major
financial institutions in the city I
then left to start my own business and
lastly it was a failed book deal in the
u.s. that pushed me to become completely
independent and to start my own journey
as a digital entrepreneur and an
influencer successful people often times
literally work their pain away
subconsciously and whereas most
spiritual girls would state that the
only way to get rid of pain is to
completely feel it and stay in it for as
long as necessary I think it’s a great
motor and way to propel success and
growth once I told to one of my friends
a good friend of mine who happens to be
a neuroscientist my idea about the link
between pain and success the first thing
he did was to scream yes you’re
absolutely right – my pleasure
and then he pointed to some piece of
research who he thought would be
extremely relevant to the case we are
talking about post-traumatic growth and
yes for those of you who have never
heard about it the word is growth and
not disorder
the scientists Richard Tedeschi with his
team has determined that growth after a
traumatic event or a life crisis is far
more common than PTSD contrary to
popular belief ancient writings and
religions often state that people have
to overcome hardships interim in order
to grow
and leading by example Jesus sacrificed
himself Moses ascended the mountain and
the Buddha left his palace leading
researchers on post-traumatic growth
have determined that people who go
through a life crisis oftentimes start
to think about what happened in order to
make sense of these events and this
positive rumination is what actually
propels growth before understanding the
power of pain I used to always try to be
the big girl the strong woman I would
smile in front of a problem try not to
feel the pain and push it completely
away when I was 12 years old my father
started traveling a lot for work first
for months at a time and then for years
I was always a daddy’s girl I saw saw
him as a hero and he was my role model
so I would call him and he would not
pick up the phone or his number would be
completely deactivated and whereas now I
know that he had his own problems to
solve at the time it was more than
heartbreaking for me I felt abandoned I
felt that my dad didn’t love me anymore
it was such deep pain that I thought
that he didn’t want me he wasn’t
interested in speaking with me and I
went completely numb for years I
wouldn’t even feel anything yet now
looking back I realized he had never
stopped loving me he just had to solve
his own issues but all of these steps
I’ve taken from that moment onwards to
grow to become a better person to build
a career were rooted annan into an
initial pain and I wanted to prove to my
father that I was still worthy of his
love so yes this unpleasant experience
have made me grow and become a better
version of myself now with more
awareness and research I’ve learned to
embrace pain
to welcome it fool into my life and to
use it to my advantage and I have carved
the recipe for myself and you in three
simple steps
so step one is acceptance you need to
fully accept this unpleasant feeling or
strong pain feel it fully even if you
need to cry cry feel terrible but just
one thing don’t punish yourself give
this pain time but give it also a time
limit you need to hit an emotional tres
role then I usually say to myself I’ll
give it one day one hour a week if it’s
really bad even months but once it’s
over it’s time for phase two phase two
is writing you two first to construct
the problem think about it ruminate on
it and then you take a piece of paper
because writing by hand is much better
for analytical thinking you divide this
this piece of paper in three sections
and on the left side you will write what
is causing you pain in the middle you
will write what you learned from this
pain and on the right side you will
write how can you use this pain to
progress and move out of it and forward
the right side is the most important one
because it’s going to be your plan
moving forward once your plan is ready
it’s time for Phase three and it’s to
take the leap you gotta take action
follow that plan and no hesitation is
allowed are you going through a divorce
are you going through a problem babbling
a health issue you’re struggling to pay
your bills or you having problems for
your family or confidence issues well I
have some news this is amazing this is
great use it to your own advantage to
start something completely new in your
life sometimes we found out
of cornered and we cannot find a
conventional way to get out and out of
necessity and survival we would might
make up a completely new innovative way
to get out and this is how novelty and
progress is born life should not be
about passively supporting and feeling
pain life should be about thriving use
pain as a powerful fuel to go to the
next level thank you
[Applause]
in my life experience and journey I had
the pleasure of meeting a lot of
successful people and I was always very
very curious to know the common
denominator factor that propelled their
ascent they all came from very different
backgrounds and some of them have to
make it from extremely unfavorable
conditions yet they all managed to
change their lives then I looked at my
own journey the ups and the downs of my
career the constant will to make it and
the hunger for more and I had to come to
terms with the fact that the actual
reason for success was something I
wouldn’t have really welcomed into my
life success came from the experience of
pain maybe it was a childish need for
more recognition and love from my
parents or a way to make them happier
when times got tough or maybe it was
simply a survival instinct kicking in
when money got tight the actual reason
is not that important what matters is
that it propelled my growth and it made
me think quicker plan more efficiently
and be faster before starting to work as
a personality at age 18 I used to work
at events as a hostess and my boss would
always give me the worst shifts and the
worst jobs for example I had to
distribute flyers at a casino until 3
a.m. in the morning dressed in a fluffy
pig suit I was obviously not happy with
the experience so I thought how can I
make my boss value me more and I went
and did miss Switzerland I became a
candidate and that night the night of
the election has completely changed my
life
needless to say I have never worn that
big suit again
later on a career adviser
my university told me what never ever
even dream about getting a job in
finance in London because what makes you
think you are better
the oldest international competition so
I put my CV in order booked a flight and
went to dozens of interviews until I
landed three experiences in major
financial institutions in the city I
then left to start my own business and
lastly it was a failed book deal in the
u.s. that pushed me to become completely
independent and to start my own journey
as a digital entrepreneur and an
influencer successful people often times
literally work their pain away
subconsciously and whereas most
spiritual girls would state that the
only way to get rid of pain is to
completely feel it and stay in it for as
long as necessary I think it’s a great
motor and way to propel success and
growth once I told to one of my friends
a good friend of mine who happens to be
a neuroscientist my idea about the link
between pain and success the first thing
he did was to scream yes you’re
absolutely right – my pleasure
and then he pointed to some piece of
research who he thought would be
extremely relevant to the case we are
talking about post-traumatic growth and
yes for those of you who have never
heard about it the word is growth and
not disorder
the scientists Richard Tedeschi with his
team has determined that growth after a
traumatic event or a life crisis is far
more common than PTSD contrary to
popular belief ancient writings and
religions often state that people have
to overcome hardships interim in order
to grow
and leading by example Jesus sacrificed
himself Moses ascended the mountain and
the Buddha left his palace leading
researchers on post-traumatic growth
have determined that people who go
through a life crisis oftentimes start
to think about what happened in order to
make sense of these events and this
positive rumination is what actually
propels growth before understanding the
power of pain I used to always try to be
the big girl the strong woman I would
smile in front of a problem try not to
feel the pain and push it completely
away when I was 12 years old my father
started traveling a lot for work first
for months at a time and then for years
I was always a daddy’s girl I saw saw
him as a hero and he was my role model
so I would call him and he would not
pick up the phone or his number would be
completely deactivated and whereas now I
know that he had his own problems to
solve at the time it was more than
heartbreaking for me I felt abandoned I
felt that my dad didn’t love me anymore
it was such deep pain that I thought
that he didn’t want me he wasn’t
interested in speaking with me and I
went completely numb for years I
wouldn’t even feel anything yet now
looking back I realized he had never
stopped loving me he just had to solve
his own issues but all of these steps
I’ve taken from that moment onwards to
grow to become a better person to build
a career were rooted annan into an
initial pain and I wanted to prove to my
father that I was still worthy of his
love so yes this unpleasant experience
have made me grow and become a better
version of myself now with more
awareness and research I’ve learned to
embrace pain
to welcome it fool into my life and to
use it to my advantage and I have carved
the recipe for myself and you in three
simple steps
so step one is acceptance you need to
fully accept this unpleasant feeling or
strong pain feel it fully even if you
need to cry cry feel terrible but just
one thing don’t punish yourself give
this pain time but give it also a time
limit you need to hit an emotional tres
role then I usually say to myself I’ll
give it one day one hour a week if it’s
really bad even months but once it’s
over it’s time for phase two phase two
is writing you two first to construct
the problem think about it ruminate on
it and then you take a piece of paper
because writing by hand is much better
for analytical thinking you divide this
this piece of paper in three sections
and on the left side you will write what
is causing you pain in the middle you
will write what you learned from this
pain and on the right side you will
write how can you use this pain to
progress and move out of it and forward
the right side is the most important one
because it’s going to be your plan
moving forward once your plan is ready
it’s time for Phase three and it’s to
take the leap you gotta take action
follow that plan and no hesitation is
allowed are you going through a divorce
are you going through a problem babbling
a health issue you’re struggling to pay
your bills or you having problems for
your family or confidence issues well I
have some news this is amazing this is
great use it to your own advantage to
start something completely new in your
life sometimes we found out
of cornered and we cannot find a
conventional way to get out and out of
necessity and survival we would might
make up a completely new innovative way
to get out and this is how novelty and
progress is born life should not be
about passively supporting and feeling
pain life should be about thriving use
pain as a powerful fuel to go to the
next level thank you
[Applause]
Please follow and like us: