you look radiating today
one second 15 you inspire the people
around you
2 second 14 you make the world a better
place – a second 30 to see it only takes
a couple seconds to spread positivity
every day you may or may not realize
this but compliments are so important
not only to the people you direct them
to but also to yourself and the greater
community around you I know this because
I like everyone else struggled with
confidence when I was in middle school I
was a little rounder than I was supposed
to be a little more awkward than I was
supposed to act anyway back in middle
school I took drama class and one day
before class I decided to announce
loudly to my friend
that and I quote you look magnificent
today darling and that was because well
she did and that level of magnificence
deserved a pretentious British accent
the next day she said the same thing to
me and soon it became a tradition to
complement each other before class of
course in time I found my confidence but
to this day I’m still not sure if the
credit should be given to those silly
compliments either way I know that they
became very important to me as a result
I am now a self-proclaimed narcissist
because here’s the thing right I love
receiving compliments now I want to
think back to the last time someone paid
you a genuine compliment think back to
how pride and love filled your heart and
you can’t help but smile I love that
feeling and I love it so much that I
want to help other people experience
that good feeling more often here’s why
when I got to high school I realized
that self deprecation became the norm
instead of the exception we’ve come to a
point in time where we constantly get
away with saying and
leaving that we were below other people
and this pattern of deprecation forms
our mentality and how we treat ourselves
and how we treat others
if the my epiphany isn’t just that
compliments can help people it’s that we
as a community lacked positivity and
therefore lacks the aptitude for
happiness
yes happiness the ultimate life goal
people always seem to think that
happiness is this sort of be all end all
destination in this ladder that we call
life but University of California at the
University of California Riverside Sonia
Luo brewski argues that 50% of happiness
Tudor is determined by our genetics
while 40 while 10% is determined by your
living circumstances and other factors
this still leaves 40% within our own
grasp determined by our attitude and
outlook on life so why is it that
happiness ends up being the sort of
checklist when there remains to be a
more personalized aspect to it to me
happiness means accepting the things
that are out of your control and being
grateful towards the things that you
have note that my definition can be
vastly different from yours and that’s
okay I’m not a happiness expert but I do
believe that this is a rather nice way
to approach life after all there are so
many places where your control has a
limit your final semester GPA the way
you look in the mirror the way other
people perceive and judge you and the
list can go on by accepting that your
control has a limit you get therefore
give yourself the power to go about
focusing on improvement so let’s put
this mentality into an example let’s say
that I’m horrendous at chemistry I have
a limited aptitude for the subject and
that is simply something that I cannot
control and that is something that I
have to accept by accepting this I can
never go about studying to the very best
of my ability instead of putting myself
down because there is a very stark
contrast between I’m terrible at
chemistry full-stop and
I’m terrible at chemistry but I did the
best I could and that’s enough here I
become a more positive more forgiving I
focus on the positive and that becomes
my Drive which echoes this quote that I
particularly like which says know your
limits but never stop trying to exceed
them this is what I like to call
personal positivity so how do we put
personal positivity into a community it
shouldn’t be a huge revelation when I
tell you that you should be
complimenting people but it is hopefully
a smaller revelation when I tell you
that you should be doing it more often
I’m not telling you to sacrifice honesty
for positivity
don’t be Regina George and Mean Girls
where she told her girl she liked her
skirt made the girls day turned around
and said that was the ugliest segrete
she’s ever seen because yeah talk is
cheap but genuineness is the biggest
luxury that we can afford remember that
every compliment goes towards building
other people up so if you like it say it
compliments don’t just curate a
psychological response they also
generate a physical reaction Japanese
researchers in 2008 discovered that
receiving praise stimulates the part of
the brain called the striatum which is
associated with reward and motivation
allowing for better skill and memory
retention funnily enough the same part
of the brain is activated by monetary
reward so the good news is compliments
come free of charge so feeling happy can
literally come and no cost people also
often forget that compliments are a
two-way street it’s one thing to give a
compliment it’s another thing to accept
it most of the time when anyone receives
a compliment they always respond with
the denial for example oh my gosh you’re
so smart
no not really you should see my psych
grade like she’ll see a bite or someone
took the time and the effort to pay you
a compliment and you’re just gonna swat
it away like that
modesty is important but can we all just
agree that modesty is a little
infuriating if you don’t accept the
compliment not only are you diminishing
your own hard work you are also showing
in gratitude towards the other person
and disregarding their values for those
who there are some people who genuinely
think that the confidence direct to them
are not true and if this is you know
that other people compliment you because
they see something of value so you
should take their word for it and accept
the compliment maybe use that to build
some personal positivity for those of
you who think I’m just spitting out
unicorn rainbows because I’m just a big
ball of sunshine if you’re not I have
something for you over the summer I met
someone who really challenged this
perspective and it really made me think
so over the summer I did an internship
and my supervisor was really not one to
compliment or comment on my work not
that there’s anything wrong with that
that’s probably how adults operate but
the poor naive little 16 year old me
that was executive that maybe maybe I
was doing something wrong
I told him this on my last day to which
he replied jokingly that it might have
been a good thing their lack of
compliments meant that I would never
become content and it would always keep
me on my toes to some extent it was true
because I ended up working really hard
so I could impress him I guess it worked
because in the end he did compliment me
and they meant a lot knowing that he
just didn’t hand out compliments very
easily so here’s some food for thought
it’s a known phenomenon that the more we
have of something the less in value it
becomes applying this to compliments
does the same still stand the answer is
yes
but not quite while it is definitely
more flattering to receive a compliment
from someone who doesn’t regularly do so
as opposed to someone who does both
compliments from either end come from a
place of genuine appreciation and that
in itself is valuable enough a
compliment as a compliment no matter who
it comes from
I am only standing here today telling
you that you should compliment more
people because I believe that this
community lacks positivity which causes
high stress and low levels of happiness
and general well-being of course
positivity does not only stop at the
extent of compliments and the bigger
picture it advocates for the mentality
of positivity specifically positive
thinking this attitude of approaching a
problem with a positive attitude
was tested extensively by positive
psychology researcher Barbara
Fredrickson in which her broaden and
build theory argues that this positive
thinking mentality broadens your sense
of possibility and allows you to sustain
the skills needed for success positive
thinking is also linked to better stress
management and increased overall health
SAS to some extent prides itself in
being an academically rigorous school
which is why I believe it’s so important
that happiness and positivity find a
place here I run a club called The
Happiness Project which is my attempt at
putting these values inside the school
community working with the values of
kindness gratitude and positivity the
Happiness Project strives to create an
environment of joy and strives to
decrease the stress that students feel
in daily school life it’s an ongoing
effort hence the name Project working
inside the high school we host a
national compliment day we have
compliment cars on our club bulletin
board that people can send out to others
at the end of each semester we host a
treat yourself week where we help where
we try to relieve the stress that comes
with final exams we were the people that
put out the Emoji beanbags and the
hammocks of which were so well received
that all of the hammocks broken over
usage and two of the beanbags went
missing not that we mind necessarily
because the Happiness Project is here to
serve the student community of course
trying to make the community more happy
and more positive is no easy feat and
it’s no one man effort because it takes
an entire community to change a
community and while I don’t hope to
start a revolution here tonight I hope
that I can enlist you all in helping me
with my vision so if you would please
put your hand over your heart because if
there is anything that you get from this
speech let it be this promise that you
will be kind promise that you will help
others and compliment others promise
that you will give thanks for the things
that you have and promise that you will
spend a little time every day in just
spreading positivity so to ensure that
we end this on a positive note would
anyone be so kind as to pay me a
and with that being said it was nothing
but love thank you [Applause]
one second 15 you inspire the people
around you
2 second 14 you make the world a better
place – a second 30 to see it only takes
a couple seconds to spread positivity
every day you may or may not realize
this but compliments are so important
not only to the people you direct them
to but also to yourself and the greater
community around you I know this because
I like everyone else struggled with
confidence when I was in middle school I
was a little rounder than I was supposed
to be a little more awkward than I was
supposed to act anyway back in middle
school I took drama class and one day
before class I decided to announce
loudly to my friend
that and I quote you look magnificent
today darling and that was because well
she did and that level of magnificence
deserved a pretentious British accent
the next day she said the same thing to
me and soon it became a tradition to
complement each other before class of
course in time I found my confidence but
to this day I’m still not sure if the
credit should be given to those silly
compliments either way I know that they
became very important to me as a result
I am now a self-proclaimed narcissist
because here’s the thing right I love
receiving compliments now I want to
think back to the last time someone paid
you a genuine compliment think back to
how pride and love filled your heart and
you can’t help but smile I love that
feeling and I love it so much that I
want to help other people experience
that good feeling more often here’s why
when I got to high school I realized
that self deprecation became the norm
instead of the exception we’ve come to a
point in time where we constantly get
away with saying and
leaving that we were below other people
and this pattern of deprecation forms
our mentality and how we treat ourselves
and how we treat others
if the my epiphany isn’t just that
compliments can help people it’s that we
as a community lacked positivity and
therefore lacks the aptitude for
happiness
yes happiness the ultimate life goal
people always seem to think that
happiness is this sort of be all end all
destination in this ladder that we call
life but University of California at the
University of California Riverside Sonia
Luo brewski argues that 50% of happiness
Tudor is determined by our genetics
while 40 while 10% is determined by your
living circumstances and other factors
this still leaves 40% within our own
grasp determined by our attitude and
outlook on life so why is it that
happiness ends up being the sort of
checklist when there remains to be a
more personalized aspect to it to me
happiness means accepting the things
that are out of your control and being
grateful towards the things that you
have note that my definition can be
vastly different from yours and that’s
okay I’m not a happiness expert but I do
believe that this is a rather nice way
to approach life after all there are so
many places where your control has a
limit your final semester GPA the way
you look in the mirror the way other
people perceive and judge you and the
list can go on by accepting that your
control has a limit you get therefore
give yourself the power to go about
focusing on improvement so let’s put
this mentality into an example let’s say
that I’m horrendous at chemistry I have
a limited aptitude for the subject and
that is simply something that I cannot
control and that is something that I
have to accept by accepting this I can
never go about studying to the very best
of my ability instead of putting myself
down because there is a very stark
contrast between I’m terrible at
chemistry full-stop and
I’m terrible at chemistry but I did the
best I could and that’s enough here I
become a more positive more forgiving I
focus on the positive and that becomes
my Drive which echoes this quote that I
particularly like which says know your
limits but never stop trying to exceed
them this is what I like to call
personal positivity so how do we put
personal positivity into a community it
shouldn’t be a huge revelation when I
tell you that you should be
complimenting people but it is hopefully
a smaller revelation when I tell you
that you should be doing it more often
I’m not telling you to sacrifice honesty
for positivity
don’t be Regina George and Mean Girls
where she told her girl she liked her
skirt made the girls day turned around
and said that was the ugliest segrete
she’s ever seen because yeah talk is
cheap but genuineness is the biggest
luxury that we can afford remember that
every compliment goes towards building
other people up so if you like it say it
compliments don’t just curate a
psychological response they also
generate a physical reaction Japanese
researchers in 2008 discovered that
receiving praise stimulates the part of
the brain called the striatum which is
associated with reward and motivation
allowing for better skill and memory
retention funnily enough the same part
of the brain is activated by monetary
reward so the good news is compliments
come free of charge so feeling happy can
literally come and no cost people also
often forget that compliments are a
two-way street it’s one thing to give a
compliment it’s another thing to accept
it most of the time when anyone receives
a compliment they always respond with
the denial for example oh my gosh you’re
so smart
no not really you should see my psych
grade like she’ll see a bite or someone
took the time and the effort to pay you
a compliment and you’re just gonna swat
it away like that
modesty is important but can we all just
agree that modesty is a little
infuriating if you don’t accept the
compliment not only are you diminishing
your own hard work you are also showing
in gratitude towards the other person
and disregarding their values for those
who there are some people who genuinely
think that the confidence direct to them
are not true and if this is you know
that other people compliment you because
they see something of value so you
should take their word for it and accept
the compliment maybe use that to build
some personal positivity for those of
you who think I’m just spitting out
unicorn rainbows because I’m just a big
ball of sunshine if you’re not I have
something for you over the summer I met
someone who really challenged this
perspective and it really made me think
so over the summer I did an internship
and my supervisor was really not one to
compliment or comment on my work not
that there’s anything wrong with that
that’s probably how adults operate but
the poor naive little 16 year old me
that was executive that maybe maybe I
was doing something wrong
I told him this on my last day to which
he replied jokingly that it might have
been a good thing their lack of
compliments meant that I would never
become content and it would always keep
me on my toes to some extent it was true
because I ended up working really hard
so I could impress him I guess it worked
because in the end he did compliment me
and they meant a lot knowing that he
just didn’t hand out compliments very
easily so here’s some food for thought
it’s a known phenomenon that the more we
have of something the less in value it
becomes applying this to compliments
does the same still stand the answer is
yes
but not quite while it is definitely
more flattering to receive a compliment
from someone who doesn’t regularly do so
as opposed to someone who does both
compliments from either end come from a
place of genuine appreciation and that
in itself is valuable enough a
compliment as a compliment no matter who
it comes from
I am only standing here today telling
you that you should compliment more
people because I believe that this
community lacks positivity which causes
high stress and low levels of happiness
and general well-being of course
positivity does not only stop at the
extent of compliments and the bigger
picture it advocates for the mentality
of positivity specifically positive
thinking this attitude of approaching a
problem with a positive attitude
was tested extensively by positive
psychology researcher Barbara
Fredrickson in which her broaden and
build theory argues that this positive
thinking mentality broadens your sense
of possibility and allows you to sustain
the skills needed for success positive
thinking is also linked to better stress
management and increased overall health
SAS to some extent prides itself in
being an academically rigorous school
which is why I believe it’s so important
that happiness and positivity find a
place here I run a club called The
Happiness Project which is my attempt at
putting these values inside the school
community working with the values of
kindness gratitude and positivity the
Happiness Project strives to create an
environment of joy and strives to
decrease the stress that students feel
in daily school life it’s an ongoing
effort hence the name Project working
inside the high school we host a
national compliment day we have
compliment cars on our club bulletin
board that people can send out to others
at the end of each semester we host a
treat yourself week where we help where
we try to relieve the stress that comes
with final exams we were the people that
put out the Emoji beanbags and the
hammocks of which were so well received
that all of the hammocks broken over
usage and two of the beanbags went
missing not that we mind necessarily
because the Happiness Project is here to
serve the student community of course
trying to make the community more happy
and more positive is no easy feat and
it’s no one man effort because it takes
an entire community to change a
community and while I don’t hope to
start a revolution here tonight I hope
that I can enlist you all in helping me
with my vision so if you would please
put your hand over your heart because if
there is anything that you get from this
speech let it be this promise that you
will be kind promise that you will help
others and compliment others promise
that you will give thanks for the things
that you have and promise that you will
spend a little time every day in just
spreading positivity so to ensure that
we end this on a positive note would
anyone be so kind as to pay me a
and with that being said it was nothing
but love thank you [Applause]
Please follow and like us: