[Music]
[Applause]
hello hello alright
six years ago I remember sitting in a
car after a wrestling tournament in
which I got eliminated the first two
rounds this was the third time in a row
that I went to a tournament and lost
every single match I had been on the
wrestling team for four years so you
know I thought I would experience some
success in competitions but now so there
I was sitting in a car with my brother
I was basically crying the entire ride
home I thought about the time and effort
I put into wrestling and how nothing was
working out for me then I reflect on my
other experiences with sports in
football I played a total of 10 minutes
the entire season that’s 10 minutes in
seven or eight games I vividly remember
our last game where our team was going
crazy and celebrating the win while I
walked to the car just sobbing because
because the coach didn’t put me in at
all that game in basketball
I scored a total of zero points in
baseball I batted last and was a second
string right fielder
I also remember our last game it was my
final time at bat and I struck out to
make my season and to make my season
officially in all strikeout season just
to make matters worse I was also a
really shy kid in school and had
academic reports and grades that that
weren’t very good
I even remember testing not proficient
in English on the New York State ela
exam back then so yeah you can imagine
how much worse I felt how much worse I
fell after all that reflecting I look at
my brother who is sitting beside me at
the time he recently took third in New
York State and a bunch of great schools
like Duke and Wesleyan were interested
in him
I started thinking things like why am I
not naturally talented or naturally
smart and was I just born without the
right genetics to be successful at
things Doucette anything good will
happen in my life just flood in my mind
so after I cried and after I reflected
my brother finally broke the silence he
told me it’s going to be okay
it’s good to get a book kick that badly
even if it happens
we’re three tournaments in a row these
hard defeats will come and when they do
they’ll help you in the long run I had
absolutely no idea what he meant
how does losing help you succeed how
does constantly getting beat up help you
I thought about it it made no sense to
me but I took it to heart because I
trusted him after that car ride I didn’t
know what to expect I just I enjoyed
wrestling so I kept working at it and
having fun over the next few months I
learned to work hard I listen to the
advice of my Edgemont and club coaches
and I kept seeing gradual improvement
and now just six years after that
depressing car ride I’m a two-time I’ll
say athlete a New York state champion
I’ve won numerous rest of the Year
awards and I became an all-american
meaning that I placed top eight and
Nationals in academics I have a 4.0
unweighted high school GPA had the
highest grades in the school in numerous
science and math classes and did well on
my standardized tests I got recruited by
basically every top-tier school that had
wrestling and chose Harvard what I
didn’t know back then was how much
athletics would end up impacting my life
I only thought it would teach me the
value of hard work and maybe teamwork
but oh I was so wrong so I list these
accomplishments today and talk about my
story not for me to brag about my
achievements or to make you feel sorry
for me when I was a child or anything
now I’m here today to show you the
impact that sports have had on every
aspect of my life what the hopes that
maybe you can take away something from
my experiences the first theme that I
will be talking about is the importance
of gradual improvement I know this is
something you’ve probably heard many
many times before but just bear with me
success is hugely dependent on the
amount of hard work and time you put
into it
a big phrase that resonates with me is
it’s not easy but it’s simple it may
sound too straightforward to think that
hard work leads to success and I lived
under that impression my whole childhood
I would always make excuses based on
talent natural athletic ability and
natural smarts my wrestling improved so
much when I just ignored those things
and started to dedicate myself as time
went on I was beating people very
talented people who I thought I would
never be able to surpass singing those
small incremental improvements just add
up made me realize that
so simple and that I’m in full control I
learned this lesson of gradual
improvement through wrestling but I feel
like anyone can do it within a matter of
weeks it starts with your body and
physical fitness more than anything
try getting your mile time down a minute
or complete a half marathon or lose six
pounds whatever it is just consistently
work at it and you inevitably will be
able to do it you’re going to realize
that it doesn’t take natural athletic
ability or anything like that if you
apply this mindset to a bunch of things
this amazing feeling of of confidence
and control will explode into every
aspect of your life another mindset
shift that held me early on was to stop
comparing myself to other people
frequently in my career I encountered
feelings of inadequacy and on the other
side arrogance when I compared myself to
people in the wrong way life is about
striving for your personal best take a
look at the slogan of my club wrestling
team Iowa style wrestling we believe
that individual is successful when he
continually commits to close a gap
between his performance and his
potential and when he understands that
such a commitment represents a way of
life not merely a means to an end
on that note I genuinely take the most
pride not in the accolades themselves
particularly but the almost disbelief
that I have looking back to where I was
in elementary and middle school compared
to now everybody starts somewhere and
complaining about how other people are
better than you will just make you feel
inadequate for no good reason and that’s
why you don’t have to be an Olympic gold
medalist or score perfect on every test
to be happy you set your own goals and
gradually work towards them over time
you’ll see these incremental
improvements just pile up and those
impossibilities that you hold in your
mind before will be completely in reach
it’s your job to keep pushing the limits
for what you believe is possible for
yourself
and that’s all that matters so there are
two points to remember from this team
one success is so simple and two don’t
feel inadequate and be the best that you
can be the second theme that I will be
talking about is having fun ever since
eighth grade to mid junior year I held
this false belief that success was
constantly about being in the zone while
not really focusing on enjoyment I’m not
kidding when I say that I barely spoke
or
my love my entire sophomore year whether
it be in school or in a cadet or in
wrestling just because I was always
serious as a result of being in this
mood day in and day out I performed a
lot below my potential and even
considered quitting after that year just
because I was having a terrible time
when junior year started and as it went
on I realized that the more I enjoyed
being at practice the way more I
improved I learned to get excited for
practice joke around change things up as
much as I could and live in the moment
all while improving and being focused
even in things like conditioning you
know I just keep a smile on my face and
have fun knowing that I’m pushing myself
to the limit when you want to be
somewhere you’re going to take so much
more out of it this same mindset carried
over for competitions before this shift
in mentality I will get insanely nervous
and stressed out before a match you
could probably relate to this feeling
when your body and mind go completely
numb before you even step out to compete
take a test or whatever it is
after this mindset shift I didn’t get
nervous at all I learned to just go out
there and compete with a clear mind live
in the moment and just have fun
there’s no point stressing out because
all you’re doing in a competition is
exactly what you practiced my results in
the sport escalated so quickly after
this mindset shift so you may be asking
why is this all relevant because I
applied this mindset there’s so many
other things from taking tests to public
speaking to being more confident
whatever it is for example my attitude
towards taking a test
I used to freak out before one now I
joke around before a huge exam and I go
into every test saying that I’ve studied
the material so I’ll just keep calm and
enjoy even something as big as public
speaking what I’m doing
right now most people get insanely
nervous before something like this but
right now I’m not nervous because I tell
myself that I prepared a ton for this
talk and right now I’m living in the
moment and having a good time if you
implement this attitude to all those big
events that you have in your life you’ll
perform so much better and it’ll just
feel great so on to my second point
about having fun the attitudes that I
described above work so much better if
you are doing something that you
genuinely enjoy
by doing day in and day out if you
aren’t excited at least 80% of the time
to go to class or go to practice then
you’re probably in the wrong activity or
you have the wrong mindset I’m excited
to go to practice every day even if I
just take two days off of wrestling I
actually start to miss it and my body
like almost tells my mind that it wants
to go wrestle furthermore my best
accolades by far came after I got into
college showing that I didn’t wrestle to
be accepted into a good university or
anything like that no I did it because I
genuinely loved doing it in school I’m
never dreading the weekdays or only
looking forward to that time when the
clock hits 3:00 p.m. on a Friday no I’m
that weird guy who says that he likes
all his classes and enjoys being there
my friends who will do the best in
school say they they enjoy being there
and enjoy improving and cultivating
their minds so to sum it up for this
theme when you’re in a big event
don’t be nervous and just live in the
moment tell yourself that you’re doing
exactly what you studied or practice for
there’s no need to stress out and to
find and do the things that you can’t
live without every day and every
activity should be exciting
my final theme is about perseverance no
matter how much fun you have doing your
sport or activity to get to the highest
level that will probably be times when
you feel awful and feel like you just
want to throw it all away for me this
was the end of sophomore year all season
long I’d kept the goal of Allstate front
and center in my mind and work L&C
towards it States finally came and in my
first match we went into overtime
we were both extremely exhausted but I
pushed through the pain and scored a
point but what happened next would end
up haunting me for a long time
with just four seconds left my opponent
scored a reversal which is two points
and won the match I still vividly
remember that final buzzer going off and
that feeling of pain and pure sadness
that accompanied it however I still had
the courage to fight back after that I
won a few matches and then I found
myself in the blood round where if you
win you get Allstate if you
lose your out the match went into the
final period tied and in the last 30
seconds
my opponents scored two points due to a
stupid mistake that I made and I lost I
just laid there on the mat hands in my
face just devastated two people who I
was completely capable of beating got
Allstate and I didn’t and then just to
make it all fall down about three weeks
after at sophomore nationals I was two
matches away from being an all-american
and then yet again I lost an extremely
close match the immense weight of these
of these three losses just completely
broke me just thinking about all the
time and effort I put into wrestling and
coming so close to reaching every single
one of my goals and then ultimately
failing made me lose myself I cried for
an hour every night for a week after
Nationals so yeah this was my rock
bottom what felt like an eternity went
by before I recovered something that
really helped me a lot was reflecting
back to that car ride back in sixth
grade and st. and seeing how I overcame
that obstacle of hopelessness of my life
I started to read about a ton of success
stories and eventually I realized that
success that everybody experiences a lot
of failure but the difference that
determines success lies in whether we
constantly get up and keep going or not
this quote from Rocky Balboa really put
it clear to me life isn’t about how hard
you hit it’s about how hard you can get
hit and keep moving forward how much you
can take and keep moving forward that’s
how winning is done
those events that states and Nationals
in my experience afterwards engrained in
me an attitude of perseverance that was
crucial to later successes because
contrary to popular belief it wasn’t a
straight upwards path after that I
suffered much more devastating defeats
in academics and in mathletics junior
year my club coach Ron deagle even said
to me you are the person who failed the
most and failed the most painfully but
constantly persisted to become one of
the best so my point is don’t do what I
did sophomore year and
become depressed after facing a lot of
hard losses learn to stop worrying about
losing and every time it happens get up
don’t be upset and continue enjoying
yourself after this attitude of
perseverance got engrained in my head I
would always tell myself that if I tried
my hardest and lost it doesn’t matter at
all because I did everything I could you
take pride in that fight and you’ll just
shrug off that loss and continue
improving and having fun so you will
feel that rock bottom at times but just
but just realize that everybody feels a
lot and that you aren’t unlucky or
anything every time you fail learn from
your mistakes get up and continue
enjoying yourself to finish up here the
three themes of gradual improvement
having fun and perseverance highlight
the crucial lessons that I’ve learned
from wrestling find the work and
activities that you can’t live without
everyday in every activity should be
exciting and when you’re doing those
things realize that success is so simple
and that it just takes time and effort
keep up that constant improvement and
continually throw away those
impossibilities that you hold in your
mind but realize that failure will
happen a lot but the difference that
determines success lies in whether we
constantly get up and keep going
or not furthermore when you’re in the
big event just take away the stress and
live in the moment there’s no need to be
nervous and finally have fun and make
every day exciting thank you all very
much
[Applause]
[Applause]
hello hello alright
six years ago I remember sitting in a
car after a wrestling tournament in
which I got eliminated the first two
rounds this was the third time in a row
that I went to a tournament and lost
every single match I had been on the
wrestling team for four years so you
know I thought I would experience some
success in competitions but now so there
I was sitting in a car with my brother
I was basically crying the entire ride
home I thought about the time and effort
I put into wrestling and how nothing was
working out for me then I reflect on my
other experiences with sports in
football I played a total of 10 minutes
the entire season that’s 10 minutes in
seven or eight games I vividly remember
our last game where our team was going
crazy and celebrating the win while I
walked to the car just sobbing because
because the coach didn’t put me in at
all that game in basketball
I scored a total of zero points in
baseball I batted last and was a second
string right fielder
I also remember our last game it was my
final time at bat and I struck out to
make my season and to make my season
officially in all strikeout season just
to make matters worse I was also a
really shy kid in school and had
academic reports and grades that that
weren’t very good
I even remember testing not proficient
in English on the New York State ela
exam back then so yeah you can imagine
how much worse I felt how much worse I
fell after all that reflecting I look at
my brother who is sitting beside me at
the time he recently took third in New
York State and a bunch of great schools
like Duke and Wesleyan were interested
in him
I started thinking things like why am I
not naturally talented or naturally
smart and was I just born without the
right genetics to be successful at
things Doucette anything good will
happen in my life just flood in my mind
so after I cried and after I reflected
my brother finally broke the silence he
told me it’s going to be okay
it’s good to get a book kick that badly
even if it happens
we’re three tournaments in a row these
hard defeats will come and when they do
they’ll help you in the long run I had
absolutely no idea what he meant
how does losing help you succeed how
does constantly getting beat up help you
I thought about it it made no sense to
me but I took it to heart because I
trusted him after that car ride I didn’t
know what to expect I just I enjoyed
wrestling so I kept working at it and
having fun over the next few months I
learned to work hard I listen to the
advice of my Edgemont and club coaches
and I kept seeing gradual improvement
and now just six years after that
depressing car ride I’m a two-time I’ll
say athlete a New York state champion
I’ve won numerous rest of the Year
awards and I became an all-american
meaning that I placed top eight and
Nationals in academics I have a 4.0
unweighted high school GPA had the
highest grades in the school in numerous
science and math classes and did well on
my standardized tests I got recruited by
basically every top-tier school that had
wrestling and chose Harvard what I
didn’t know back then was how much
athletics would end up impacting my life
I only thought it would teach me the
value of hard work and maybe teamwork
but oh I was so wrong so I list these
accomplishments today and talk about my
story not for me to brag about my
achievements or to make you feel sorry
for me when I was a child or anything
now I’m here today to show you the
impact that sports have had on every
aspect of my life what the hopes that
maybe you can take away something from
my experiences the first theme that I
will be talking about is the importance
of gradual improvement I know this is
something you’ve probably heard many
many times before but just bear with me
success is hugely dependent on the
amount of hard work and time you put
into it
a big phrase that resonates with me is
it’s not easy but it’s simple it may
sound too straightforward to think that
hard work leads to success and I lived
under that impression my whole childhood
I would always make excuses based on
talent natural athletic ability and
natural smarts my wrestling improved so
much when I just ignored those things
and started to dedicate myself as time
went on I was beating people very
talented people who I thought I would
never be able to surpass singing those
small incremental improvements just add
up made me realize that
so simple and that I’m in full control I
learned this lesson of gradual
improvement through wrestling but I feel
like anyone can do it within a matter of
weeks it starts with your body and
physical fitness more than anything
try getting your mile time down a minute
or complete a half marathon or lose six
pounds whatever it is just consistently
work at it and you inevitably will be
able to do it you’re going to realize
that it doesn’t take natural athletic
ability or anything like that if you
apply this mindset to a bunch of things
this amazing feeling of of confidence
and control will explode into every
aspect of your life another mindset
shift that held me early on was to stop
comparing myself to other people
frequently in my career I encountered
feelings of inadequacy and on the other
side arrogance when I compared myself to
people in the wrong way life is about
striving for your personal best take a
look at the slogan of my club wrestling
team Iowa style wrestling we believe
that individual is successful when he
continually commits to close a gap
between his performance and his
potential and when he understands that
such a commitment represents a way of
life not merely a means to an end
on that note I genuinely take the most
pride not in the accolades themselves
particularly but the almost disbelief
that I have looking back to where I was
in elementary and middle school compared
to now everybody starts somewhere and
complaining about how other people are
better than you will just make you feel
inadequate for no good reason and that’s
why you don’t have to be an Olympic gold
medalist or score perfect on every test
to be happy you set your own goals and
gradually work towards them over time
you’ll see these incremental
improvements just pile up and those
impossibilities that you hold in your
mind before will be completely in reach
it’s your job to keep pushing the limits
for what you believe is possible for
yourself
and that’s all that matters so there are
two points to remember from this team
one success is so simple and two don’t
feel inadequate and be the best that you
can be the second theme that I will be
talking about is having fun ever since
eighth grade to mid junior year I held
this false belief that success was
constantly about being in the zone while
not really focusing on enjoyment I’m not
kidding when I say that I barely spoke
or
my love my entire sophomore year whether
it be in school or in a cadet or in
wrestling just because I was always
serious as a result of being in this
mood day in and day out I performed a
lot below my potential and even
considered quitting after that year just
because I was having a terrible time
when junior year started and as it went
on I realized that the more I enjoyed
being at practice the way more I
improved I learned to get excited for
practice joke around change things up as
much as I could and live in the moment
all while improving and being focused
even in things like conditioning you
know I just keep a smile on my face and
have fun knowing that I’m pushing myself
to the limit when you want to be
somewhere you’re going to take so much
more out of it this same mindset carried
over for competitions before this shift
in mentality I will get insanely nervous
and stressed out before a match you
could probably relate to this feeling
when your body and mind go completely
numb before you even step out to compete
take a test or whatever it is
after this mindset shift I didn’t get
nervous at all I learned to just go out
there and compete with a clear mind live
in the moment and just have fun
there’s no point stressing out because
all you’re doing in a competition is
exactly what you practiced my results in
the sport escalated so quickly after
this mindset shift so you may be asking
why is this all relevant because I
applied this mindset there’s so many
other things from taking tests to public
speaking to being more confident
whatever it is for example my attitude
towards taking a test
I used to freak out before one now I
joke around before a huge exam and I go
into every test saying that I’ve studied
the material so I’ll just keep calm and
enjoy even something as big as public
speaking what I’m doing
right now most people get insanely
nervous before something like this but
right now I’m not nervous because I tell
myself that I prepared a ton for this
talk and right now I’m living in the
moment and having a good time if you
implement this attitude to all those big
events that you have in your life you’ll
perform so much better and it’ll just
feel great so on to my second point
about having fun the attitudes that I
described above work so much better if
you are doing something that you
genuinely enjoy
by doing day in and day out if you
aren’t excited at least 80% of the time
to go to class or go to practice then
you’re probably in the wrong activity or
you have the wrong mindset I’m excited
to go to practice every day even if I
just take two days off of wrestling I
actually start to miss it and my body
like almost tells my mind that it wants
to go wrestle furthermore my best
accolades by far came after I got into
college showing that I didn’t wrestle to
be accepted into a good university or
anything like that no I did it because I
genuinely loved doing it in school I’m
never dreading the weekdays or only
looking forward to that time when the
clock hits 3:00 p.m. on a Friday no I’m
that weird guy who says that he likes
all his classes and enjoys being there
my friends who will do the best in
school say they they enjoy being there
and enjoy improving and cultivating
their minds so to sum it up for this
theme when you’re in a big event
don’t be nervous and just live in the
moment tell yourself that you’re doing
exactly what you studied or practice for
there’s no need to stress out and to
find and do the things that you can’t
live without every day and every
activity should be exciting
my final theme is about perseverance no
matter how much fun you have doing your
sport or activity to get to the highest
level that will probably be times when
you feel awful and feel like you just
want to throw it all away for me this
was the end of sophomore year all season
long I’d kept the goal of Allstate front
and center in my mind and work L&C
towards it States finally came and in my
first match we went into overtime
we were both extremely exhausted but I
pushed through the pain and scored a
point but what happened next would end
up haunting me for a long time
with just four seconds left my opponent
scored a reversal which is two points
and won the match I still vividly
remember that final buzzer going off and
that feeling of pain and pure sadness
that accompanied it however I still had
the courage to fight back after that I
won a few matches and then I found
myself in the blood round where if you
win you get Allstate if you
lose your out the match went into the
final period tied and in the last 30
seconds
my opponents scored two points due to a
stupid mistake that I made and I lost I
just laid there on the mat hands in my
face just devastated two people who I
was completely capable of beating got
Allstate and I didn’t and then just to
make it all fall down about three weeks
after at sophomore nationals I was two
matches away from being an all-american
and then yet again I lost an extremely
close match the immense weight of these
of these three losses just completely
broke me just thinking about all the
time and effort I put into wrestling and
coming so close to reaching every single
one of my goals and then ultimately
failing made me lose myself I cried for
an hour every night for a week after
Nationals so yeah this was my rock
bottom what felt like an eternity went
by before I recovered something that
really helped me a lot was reflecting
back to that car ride back in sixth
grade and st. and seeing how I overcame
that obstacle of hopelessness of my life
I started to read about a ton of success
stories and eventually I realized that
success that everybody experiences a lot
of failure but the difference that
determines success lies in whether we
constantly get up and keep going or not
this quote from Rocky Balboa really put
it clear to me life isn’t about how hard
you hit it’s about how hard you can get
hit and keep moving forward how much you
can take and keep moving forward that’s
how winning is done
those events that states and Nationals
in my experience afterwards engrained in
me an attitude of perseverance that was
crucial to later successes because
contrary to popular belief it wasn’t a
straight upwards path after that I
suffered much more devastating defeats
in academics and in mathletics junior
year my club coach Ron deagle even said
to me you are the person who failed the
most and failed the most painfully but
constantly persisted to become one of
the best so my point is don’t do what I
did sophomore year and
become depressed after facing a lot of
hard losses learn to stop worrying about
losing and every time it happens get up
don’t be upset and continue enjoying
yourself after this attitude of
perseverance got engrained in my head I
would always tell myself that if I tried
my hardest and lost it doesn’t matter at
all because I did everything I could you
take pride in that fight and you’ll just
shrug off that loss and continue
improving and having fun so you will
feel that rock bottom at times but just
but just realize that everybody feels a
lot and that you aren’t unlucky or
anything every time you fail learn from
your mistakes get up and continue
enjoying yourself to finish up here the
three themes of gradual improvement
having fun and perseverance highlight
the crucial lessons that I’ve learned
from wrestling find the work and
activities that you can’t live without
everyday in every activity should be
exciting and when you’re doing those
things realize that success is so simple
and that it just takes time and effort
keep up that constant improvement and
continually throw away those
impossibilities that you hold in your
mind but realize that failure will
happen a lot but the difference that
determines success lies in whether we
constantly get up and keep going
or not furthermore when you’re in the
big event just take away the stress and
live in the moment there’s no need to be
nervous and finally have fun and make
every day exciting thank you all very
much
[Applause]
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