I am sometimes being described as being
quietly confident I often get described
as being determined my family will tell
you that I’m stubborn my good friends
sighs barks often tells me that I am a
stunning little another good friend full
range short once told me that the only
reason I’m here today is because I am
the most belligerent he knows so this is
how my good friends and family think of
me thanks I guess but I’ll be honest I
feel slightly misunderstood and I was
chatting to another friend about this
just the other week and he said John how
can anyone misunderstand someone that is
blunt with you but they do the current
recruiting slogan for the Wolverines is
it’s a state of mind but 15 years ago
when I joined it was 99.9% need not
apply and people regularly used to tell
me why I need not apply but I stand here
today having successfully completed rule
Marines commando young officer training
when I was 19 having passed the rule
Marines Mountain leader course which
Stephen tougher than commando training
when I was 23 having survived Stanley on
bomb and losing three limbs having built
my own house having completed the
advisors Westminster cadres with only
one arm having kept myself successfully
self-employed for the last four years
having got through 17 surgeries in the
past three years and over the past five
years having twice being instrument
in changing government policy so what’s
the secret how do you force your heart
and nerve and sinew to do that turn them
after you’ve gone and so hold on when
there was nothing that in you except the
will which says to them hold on that’s
something we’re going to explore now
because you’re probably all sitting
there thinking wow this guy is pretty
arrogant giving that list but actually
the reality is I’m not I suffer a lot
from that lack of self-confidence the
reason I tell you all of those things
actually to make you realize what is
possible you see I have very little in
the way of a natural talent and that’s
why for all of that list and this one
person and in most cases many people
would tell me that it wouldn’t be able
to achieve it you know did I did have
one Talent and that’s a talent they all
knew about but they don’t massively
misunderstood as anyone in the room got
any clue what that might be it was being
stubborn so what is being stubborn the
Oxford Dictionary tells us that it’s
having or showing don’t get
determination not to change one’s
attitude or position on something
especially in spite of good reasons to
do so now for me that position is my
ability to achieve whatever it is and
I’ve set my mind to but the most
important part I think about that
definition is the in spite of good
reasons to do so there will always be
people who give you good reasons to
change your position or in other words
give up
so I’ll ask what’s the secret for me I
compose that that secret is belief
running stop for minute miles it’s now
standard in international middle
distance running
but 64 years ago for most people it was
seen as an upgrade or barrier and it’s
the same in
athletic record for human achievements
once people know that something is
possible and it was simply able to go
and do it but what is it that sets the
Trailblazers and record breakers apart
when did they get there for me from I
wonder if it’s down to meticulous
planning
I wonder if Sir David Bradford’s remarks
about the British Cycling team success
where he said that it was due to
specially round wheels on their bikes
was actually less of a joke and more of
a reference to the level of detail in
perfection he was willing to go to in
every aspect of his team’s performance
you see I think what turn breaker speed
is a see their targets and they break
them down into small achievable steps
and then once they’ve seen those steps
laid out in front of them it simply
doesn’t make sense for them to give up
this is something that I’ve always done
but on that way there’s always going to
be some pain and discomfort I’m sure
you’ve all had endeavors like this in
the past where you’re testing yourself
and the way that I’ve always dealt with
that pain and discomfort is actually to
plan for it I plan for it and then I
embrace it because I know that when I
feel that pain it’s given me confidence
that I am actually on track so what am I
saying I’m saying don’t just be stubborn
like a mule
be smart like a human set yourself
targets break them down into achievable
steps plan for where the pain and
discomfort will be and go for it in full
confidence this is what I’ve always done
and it’s what I love having other people
achieve now so I’ve talked about how I
go about being stubborn
it’s very methodical process there but
actually what I want to do now is
how that stubbornness has helped me over
the years you see how young I meet
people all the time and I tell them what
I’ve been through
and they always ask you know how do you
cope with post-traumatic stress disorder
and when I say to them well actually
I’ve never suffered with PTSD they
always looked at me in disbelief and
just say oh I can’t believe that it
can’t be possible now I can’t say with
any certainty what it is that has
protected me from PTSD but I do have a
couple of theories the first is to do
with my memory I’ve I’ve recreated the
memory of those events into something
that I’m comfortable with and the memory
I use of being blown up and the
subsequent 40 minutes of consciousness I
have no idea whether it’s accurate or
not what I’ve done is I’ve taken some
images in my head and I’ve mixed them
with the stories that the men on the
ground with me have told me and I’ve
created what I described as a kind of
storyboard
this mixture of images and silent movies
and then next to that I have my voice as
a narrative explaining what’s going
what’s going on and ivory told this
story this this memory over and over
again in many talks and so what’s
happened now is that is absolutely well
entrenched into my mind and that’s what
I feel comfortable with secondly my
determination to prove to other people
and myself that I was able to physically
cope with these injuries meant that what
I needed to do was plan my own recovery
meticulously
and after as I set myself ever more
challenging targets and then applied
myself to achieving them what I found is
all too busy to actually sit back and
dwell on what would have been at the
time probably more accurate
and possibly far more horrific memories
and then eventually those memories were
just forgotten and also what happened
was in having all those small
achievements I’ve got to the stage where
all over southern pine my life was back
to normal again and in fact it wasn’t
just back to normal my life was great
and I still really clearly remember the
moment in 2012 two years after the
explosion I was sitting by a turquoise
River in the mountains of Montenegro do
some anchoring work and I was asked the
question you remember a time when you
felt really powerful and I don’t work
like this before
but in this moment it was the first time
I ever thought of myself
post-injury and that was the moment
where I realized that I no longer needed
to regret my past and because I didn’t
need to regret it I no longer needed to
dwell on it too so again it just helped
me forget those worst memories here’s
one warning about all of this though we
need to find empathy for those around us
because what everyone will understand
what it is you’re doing they won’t
understand your plan and this is
something I’ve learned from personal
experience you see I didn’t think that
anyone else was allowed to be affected
by my injuries they were mines work and
so when my family when friends my wife
were struggling to deal with my injuries
or than I was I couldn’t understand this
and it made me really angry not
explosively angry that’s not really in
my nature but what I did is I tended to
shut down some of those relationships a
bit and ended up doing quite a lot of
damage to them and that’s something that
I’m really trying to repair now so I’m
deeply sorry about so you’re probably
sitting there thinking well that’s all
grateful but it’s easier said than done
and you’re right it’s not easy and it’s
not for everyone not everyone can just
be stubborn and determined in the way
they go about dealing with mental health
issues there’s lots of other options out
there and I prefer tonight whether it be
seeing counselors talking to friends
meditation or sport the point is you
need to find something that works for
you so for things to finish with firstly
what we need to do is decide that we
want to have positive intentions and
when you made that decision you need to
vanquish negative thoughts and this is
something that took me real conscious
effort to do at first but then it became
habit and now I’m happy to say it is my
nature secondly we need to see ourselves
challenging targets reverse-engineer
them into achievable steps plan where
the pain is and go for it with
confidence thirdly
don’t get mad when people can’t see your
plan and don’t understand what it is
you’re going through they’re just trying
to work it all all out too and equally
if you think that someone’s just being
stubborn maybe sit back and wonder
whether you’re just not understanding
their plan fully and then finally the
next time someone calls you stubborn
maybe try taking as a compliment instead
thank you
[Applause]
quietly confident I often get described
as being determined my family will tell
you that I’m stubborn my good friends
sighs barks often tells me that I am a
stunning little another good friend full
range short once told me that the only
reason I’m here today is because I am
the most belligerent he knows so this is
how my good friends and family think of
me thanks I guess but I’ll be honest I
feel slightly misunderstood and I was
chatting to another friend about this
just the other week and he said John how
can anyone misunderstand someone that is
blunt with you but they do the current
recruiting slogan for the Wolverines is
it’s a state of mind but 15 years ago
when I joined it was 99.9% need not
apply and people regularly used to tell
me why I need not apply but I stand here
today having successfully completed rule
Marines commando young officer training
when I was 19 having passed the rule
Marines Mountain leader course which
Stephen tougher than commando training
when I was 23 having survived Stanley on
bomb and losing three limbs having built
my own house having completed the
advisors Westminster cadres with only
one arm having kept myself successfully
self-employed for the last four years
having got through 17 surgeries in the
past three years and over the past five
years having twice being instrument
in changing government policy so what’s
the secret how do you force your heart
and nerve and sinew to do that turn them
after you’ve gone and so hold on when
there was nothing that in you except the
will which says to them hold on that’s
something we’re going to explore now
because you’re probably all sitting
there thinking wow this guy is pretty
arrogant giving that list but actually
the reality is I’m not I suffer a lot
from that lack of self-confidence the
reason I tell you all of those things
actually to make you realize what is
possible you see I have very little in
the way of a natural talent and that’s
why for all of that list and this one
person and in most cases many people
would tell me that it wouldn’t be able
to achieve it you know did I did have
one Talent and that’s a talent they all
knew about but they don’t massively
misunderstood as anyone in the room got
any clue what that might be it was being
stubborn so what is being stubborn the
Oxford Dictionary tells us that it’s
having or showing don’t get
determination not to change one’s
attitude or position on something
especially in spite of good reasons to
do so now for me that position is my
ability to achieve whatever it is and
I’ve set my mind to but the most
important part I think about that
definition is the in spite of good
reasons to do so there will always be
people who give you good reasons to
change your position or in other words
give up
so I’ll ask what’s the secret for me I
compose that that secret is belief
running stop for minute miles it’s now
standard in international middle
distance running
but 64 years ago for most people it was
seen as an upgrade or barrier and it’s
the same in
athletic record for human achievements
once people know that something is
possible and it was simply able to go
and do it but what is it that sets the
Trailblazers and record breakers apart
when did they get there for me from I
wonder if it’s down to meticulous
planning
I wonder if Sir David Bradford’s remarks
about the British Cycling team success
where he said that it was due to
specially round wheels on their bikes
was actually less of a joke and more of
a reference to the level of detail in
perfection he was willing to go to in
every aspect of his team’s performance
you see I think what turn breaker speed
is a see their targets and they break
them down into small achievable steps
and then once they’ve seen those steps
laid out in front of them it simply
doesn’t make sense for them to give up
this is something that I’ve always done
but on that way there’s always going to
be some pain and discomfort I’m sure
you’ve all had endeavors like this in
the past where you’re testing yourself
and the way that I’ve always dealt with
that pain and discomfort is actually to
plan for it I plan for it and then I
embrace it because I know that when I
feel that pain it’s given me confidence
that I am actually on track so what am I
saying I’m saying don’t just be stubborn
like a mule
be smart like a human set yourself
targets break them down into achievable
steps plan for where the pain and
discomfort will be and go for it in full
confidence this is what I’ve always done
and it’s what I love having other people
achieve now so I’ve talked about how I
go about being stubborn
it’s very methodical process there but
actually what I want to do now is
how that stubbornness has helped me over
the years you see how young I meet
people all the time and I tell them what
I’ve been through
and they always ask you know how do you
cope with post-traumatic stress disorder
and when I say to them well actually
I’ve never suffered with PTSD they
always looked at me in disbelief and
just say oh I can’t believe that it
can’t be possible now I can’t say with
any certainty what it is that has
protected me from PTSD but I do have a
couple of theories the first is to do
with my memory I’ve I’ve recreated the
memory of those events into something
that I’m comfortable with and the memory
I use of being blown up and the
subsequent 40 minutes of consciousness I
have no idea whether it’s accurate or
not what I’ve done is I’ve taken some
images in my head and I’ve mixed them
with the stories that the men on the
ground with me have told me and I’ve
created what I described as a kind of
storyboard
this mixture of images and silent movies
and then next to that I have my voice as
a narrative explaining what’s going
what’s going on and ivory told this
story this this memory over and over
again in many talks and so what’s
happened now is that is absolutely well
entrenched into my mind and that’s what
I feel comfortable with secondly my
determination to prove to other people
and myself that I was able to physically
cope with these injuries meant that what
I needed to do was plan my own recovery
meticulously
and after as I set myself ever more
challenging targets and then applied
myself to achieving them what I found is
all too busy to actually sit back and
dwell on what would have been at the
time probably more accurate
and possibly far more horrific memories
and then eventually those memories were
just forgotten and also what happened
was in having all those small
achievements I’ve got to the stage where
all over southern pine my life was back
to normal again and in fact it wasn’t
just back to normal my life was great
and I still really clearly remember the
moment in 2012 two years after the
explosion I was sitting by a turquoise
River in the mountains of Montenegro do
some anchoring work and I was asked the
question you remember a time when you
felt really powerful and I don’t work
like this before
but in this moment it was the first time
I ever thought of myself
post-injury and that was the moment
where I realized that I no longer needed
to regret my past and because I didn’t
need to regret it I no longer needed to
dwell on it too so again it just helped
me forget those worst memories here’s
one warning about all of this though we
need to find empathy for those around us
because what everyone will understand
what it is you’re doing they won’t
understand your plan and this is
something I’ve learned from personal
experience you see I didn’t think that
anyone else was allowed to be affected
by my injuries they were mines work and
so when my family when friends my wife
were struggling to deal with my injuries
or than I was I couldn’t understand this
and it made me really angry not
explosively angry that’s not really in
my nature but what I did is I tended to
shut down some of those relationships a
bit and ended up doing quite a lot of
damage to them and that’s something that
I’m really trying to repair now so I’m
deeply sorry about so you’re probably
sitting there thinking well that’s all
grateful but it’s easier said than done
and you’re right it’s not easy and it’s
not for everyone not everyone can just
be stubborn and determined in the way
they go about dealing with mental health
issues there’s lots of other options out
there and I prefer tonight whether it be
seeing counselors talking to friends
meditation or sport the point is you
need to find something that works for
you so for things to finish with firstly
what we need to do is decide that we
want to have positive intentions and
when you made that decision you need to
vanquish negative thoughts and this is
something that took me real conscious
effort to do at first but then it became
habit and now I’m happy to say it is my
nature secondly we need to see ourselves
challenging targets reverse-engineer
them into achievable steps plan where
the pain is and go for it with
confidence thirdly
don’t get mad when people can’t see your
plan and don’t understand what it is
you’re going through they’re just trying
to work it all all out too and equally
if you think that someone’s just being
stubborn maybe sit back and wonder
whether you’re just not understanding
their plan fully and then finally the
next time someone calls you stubborn
maybe try taking as a compliment instead
thank you
[Applause]
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