how are you that’s exactly the answer I
was going for I’m fine thank you and you
that is the rote answer that I get from
all of my students from elementary
school all the way to high school
whenever I asked my students how are you
everyone says oh I’m fine thank you and
you that is the response that I get I
joke with some of my high school
students that if the building were on
fire and we were all running and
screaming and trying to get out and I
ran into one of my students I said are
you okay how are you they would still
say oh I’m fine thank you and you I’m
fine
that’s the answer we give right to this
simple question but I wonder sometimes
if we feel comfortable enough giving an
honest answer to a question like that
how are you how are you are we okay to
say I’m actually not fine I’m not okay I
learned when I first moved here that the
issues of Despres the depression and
suicide are really prominent here
especially among young people and it’s
something that really alarmed me and
made me really sad and I wondered
especially as a teacher and a foreigner
if this was something that I could even
address am I allowed to say something
about depression am I allowed to say
something about difficult feelings and
and being said I will say that I am NOT
a mental health professional obviously
I’m just a teacher but I’ve dealt with a
lot of really difficult emotions I’ve
dealt with some really difficult
experiences and I want to share with you
a few ideas that I have about dealing
with those things because I know it’s
not something that we often talk about
here I want to say that perhaps
working through these emotions and using
the tools of gratitude of journaling
writing down your emotions writing down
what you feel and monitoring your
thoughts might be able to help us deal
with difficult emotions I want to talk
about some of the triggers of depression
some of the things that we tend to go
through that might bring on these really
dark and sad feelings some of those
triggers would be abuse certain
medications certain conflicts a death or
a loss for some people its genetic maybe
their parents dealt with depression or
their grandparents isolation serious
illness and substance abuse for me in
the past year I experienced at least
four of those triggers for depression
right before I moved here last year my
grandmother passed away I got a call
literally two days before I was to leave
and come to South Korea that my
grandmother was gone I had just left
Tallahassee where my family lives and I
had spent time with her and it was great
to do that but I knew that she was sick
and it really made me sad that I wasn’t
able to be there and to help my family
grieve instead I was here starting a new
life and I was excited but I was also
really really sad too
beyond that I moved right one of the
other triggers of depression is a major
move a major change in your life I moved
to a new country I started a new job
this was a place where I didn’t have any
friends so I was really alone another
thing that happened was some of my other
friendships kind of fell by the wayside
because I was here I lost a relationship
that was really
to me as well so those four things plus
the isolation of being in a new place
and not knowing anyone really really
affected me and I started to notice some
of the signs and symptoms of depression
now it’s different for every person but
for me I noticed that I started sleeping
a lot more I noticed that I was sad all
the time
I noticed that being in a new place and
having new experiences was not making me
excited anymore
I was not excited about life and I
realized that I needed to make some
changes if I was going to be able to
enjoy my time here in South Korea and
actually make it through this year
through a phone call of a friend I
started doing a few things that I would
like to share with you I started
journaling I started a gratitude
practice that helped me to see the good
things in my life and I started
monitoring my thoughts and those three
things have helped me to have an
incredible time here and I’ve turned
what could have been a descent into
depression and into sadness into a
chance to find joy in life again I start
my day with a gratitude practice most
people think that gratitude is saying oh
I’m so happy and I’m so thankful and
it’s great and life is so good
that’s a part of gratitude but gratitude
is a practice it’s something that you do
every day for me I start with at least
three things at least three things most
of the time I can list more than three
things that I’m grateful for but if I
start with three it helps to change my
mind it’s like a little pivot I can go
from feeling these negative thoughts and
negative emotions to starting to feel
like oh I have some amazing things in my
life that I can be thankful for and it
can be as simple as
the sun is shining today and I’m so
happy about that I woke up and I have my
health and I’m okay and I have a job and
I have friends on difficult days it
could be as simple as oh I’m so thankful
that I caught the bus in time so I could
get to school on time I’m thankful that
my students stayed awake during my class
right give me anything but starting your
day thinking about what you’re thankful
for can shift your entire mindset and it
can shift your entire day science also
supports a gratitude practice when you
experience gratitude when you think
about the things you’re thankful for the
chemicals dopamine serotonin and
oxytocin are released in the brain and
these are called the feel-good hormones
so these are the things that your brain
releases so that you can feel good and
the more you feel good the more these
hormones are released so it’s nice it’s
like a nice feedback loop the more you
feel good the more these hormones are
released the more they’re released the
more you feel good so for me gratitude
is huge and it helps to shift my
perspective next I tend to talk about or
Rett rather write about my experiences
and what I’m feeling this is a way for
me to kind of get a bird’s-eye view of
my life and see what the issues are see
my place and what’s going on and how I
can maybe change the situation this
shift in perspective is incredibly
important
when you’re trying to battle depression
or when you’re trying to come to a place
where you can accept what’s going on in
your life journaling is also supported
by research as well at the University of
Texas they took 46 students and they
asked them to write in a journal for 15
minutes a day for about a week half of
those students they said you can write
about anything
you can write about a soccer game you
just saw you can write about football
game you can write about anything but it
has to be at least 15 minutes for about
a week and then the other half they said
okay for 15 minutes I want you to write
about something difficult that you
experienced in your life write about
something that was really difficult
maybe some emotions that you’ve
experienced write these things down for
15 minutes and then they track these
students for six months after this
experiment they found that the students
who actually talked about what was
really going on in their lives those
difficult emotions the students that
wrote about that they had less less
health issues for that six months they
were actually healthier than the
students who just wrote about anything
so journaling is incredibly important
for me and also it helps to eliminate
stress at the University of Chicago
students who wrote about their thoughts
and feelings before taking an important
exam actually did better on the exam
than the students who didn’t so that’s
not incentive to start writing I don’t
know what is finally I’ve been learning
how to monitor my thoughts when negative
starts thoughts start to creep in
especially thoughts that make me feel
like I’m maybe not worthy of an
experience or those thoughts that say
why would you want to do that you’re not
good at this
why would you think that you could talk
about something so difficult as sadness
or depression and think that people
would really listen to you when those
thoughts start to creep in I recognize
that there are thoughts that I don’t
have to believe I don’t have to sit here
and believe that I’m not worthy I can
take those thoughts and I can turn
them down and say thank you but no thank
you and I can choose to move in the
direction that I want to go even if I’m
scared for me that’s incredibly
important my favorite artist Georgia
O’Keeffe she has a quote that I love and
that I keep with me all the time she
says I’ve been absolutely terrified
every moment of my life but I’ve never
let it keep me from doing anything I’ve
wanted to do so whenever I have those
negative thoughts I noticed them I say
thank you but no thank you and I
continue to move forward so please those
of you especially who tend to struggle
sometimes like I do with sadness or
negative emotions continue to monitor
those thoughts and if you notice that
they’re mostly negative you have the
chance to change them over time you can
change that running tape in the back of
your life so it’s my hope that next time
you go through a difficult period in
life that you have people in your life
that you can actually turn to and talk
to about these things I hope that you’ll
find the courage to fight for your joy
through gratitude that you’ll discover
your own mind and your own thoughts
through journaling and that you’ll learn
to refute the negative thoughts in your
mind through monitoring them and saying
no and moving forward in the way you
want to go anyway and should you find
yourself struggling with depression if
you get to a place where you can’t make
the changes you want to make please
consider talking to someone whether it’s
a teacher or friends or even a
professional there’s no shame in that
there’s no shame in getting the help
that you need I mean consider it if your
body is not healthy if you’re sick and
you have to go to the doctor no one
tells you why are you going to the
doctor that’s crazy
don’t go to the doctor just walk it off
you’re okay you’re okay no one tells you
that
so if you’re having issues in your mind
why is it that we try to make people
feel bad about going to a doctor that
can help them with that it’s the same
thing it’s the same thing so it’s my
hope that if you do get to a place where
you cannot handle life that you would
seek help and you would stay in the game
of life because it can find really
interesting ways to surprise you stay in
the game stay here allow life to
surprise you
[Applause]
[Music]
was going for I’m fine thank you and you
that is the rote answer that I get from
all of my students from elementary
school all the way to high school
whenever I asked my students how are you
everyone says oh I’m fine thank you and
you that is the response that I get I
joke with some of my high school
students that if the building were on
fire and we were all running and
screaming and trying to get out and I
ran into one of my students I said are
you okay how are you they would still
say oh I’m fine thank you and you I’m
fine
that’s the answer we give right to this
simple question but I wonder sometimes
if we feel comfortable enough giving an
honest answer to a question like that
how are you how are you are we okay to
say I’m actually not fine I’m not okay I
learned when I first moved here that the
issues of Despres the depression and
suicide are really prominent here
especially among young people and it’s
something that really alarmed me and
made me really sad and I wondered
especially as a teacher and a foreigner
if this was something that I could even
address am I allowed to say something
about depression am I allowed to say
something about difficult feelings and
and being said I will say that I am NOT
a mental health professional obviously
I’m just a teacher but I’ve dealt with a
lot of really difficult emotions I’ve
dealt with some really difficult
experiences and I want to share with you
a few ideas that I have about dealing
with those things because I know it’s
not something that we often talk about
here I want to say that perhaps
working through these emotions and using
the tools of gratitude of journaling
writing down your emotions writing down
what you feel and monitoring your
thoughts might be able to help us deal
with difficult emotions I want to talk
about some of the triggers of depression
some of the things that we tend to go
through that might bring on these really
dark and sad feelings some of those
triggers would be abuse certain
medications certain conflicts a death or
a loss for some people its genetic maybe
their parents dealt with depression or
their grandparents isolation serious
illness and substance abuse for me in
the past year I experienced at least
four of those triggers for depression
right before I moved here last year my
grandmother passed away I got a call
literally two days before I was to leave
and come to South Korea that my
grandmother was gone I had just left
Tallahassee where my family lives and I
had spent time with her and it was great
to do that but I knew that she was sick
and it really made me sad that I wasn’t
able to be there and to help my family
grieve instead I was here starting a new
life and I was excited but I was also
really really sad too
beyond that I moved right one of the
other triggers of depression is a major
move a major change in your life I moved
to a new country I started a new job
this was a place where I didn’t have any
friends so I was really alone another
thing that happened was some of my other
friendships kind of fell by the wayside
because I was here I lost a relationship
that was really
to me as well so those four things plus
the isolation of being in a new place
and not knowing anyone really really
affected me and I started to notice some
of the signs and symptoms of depression
now it’s different for every person but
for me I noticed that I started sleeping
a lot more I noticed that I was sad all
the time
I noticed that being in a new place and
having new experiences was not making me
excited anymore
I was not excited about life and I
realized that I needed to make some
changes if I was going to be able to
enjoy my time here in South Korea and
actually make it through this year
through a phone call of a friend I
started doing a few things that I would
like to share with you I started
journaling I started a gratitude
practice that helped me to see the good
things in my life and I started
monitoring my thoughts and those three
things have helped me to have an
incredible time here and I’ve turned
what could have been a descent into
depression and into sadness into a
chance to find joy in life again I start
my day with a gratitude practice most
people think that gratitude is saying oh
I’m so happy and I’m so thankful and
it’s great and life is so good
that’s a part of gratitude but gratitude
is a practice it’s something that you do
every day for me I start with at least
three things at least three things most
of the time I can list more than three
things that I’m grateful for but if I
start with three it helps to change my
mind it’s like a little pivot I can go
from feeling these negative thoughts and
negative emotions to starting to feel
like oh I have some amazing things in my
life that I can be thankful for and it
can be as simple as
the sun is shining today and I’m so
happy about that I woke up and I have my
health and I’m okay and I have a job and
I have friends on difficult days it
could be as simple as oh I’m so thankful
that I caught the bus in time so I could
get to school on time I’m thankful that
my students stayed awake during my class
right give me anything but starting your
day thinking about what you’re thankful
for can shift your entire mindset and it
can shift your entire day science also
supports a gratitude practice when you
experience gratitude when you think
about the things you’re thankful for the
chemicals dopamine serotonin and
oxytocin are released in the brain and
these are called the feel-good hormones
so these are the things that your brain
releases so that you can feel good and
the more you feel good the more these
hormones are released so it’s nice it’s
like a nice feedback loop the more you
feel good the more these hormones are
released the more they’re released the
more you feel good so for me gratitude
is huge and it helps to shift my
perspective next I tend to talk about or
Rett rather write about my experiences
and what I’m feeling this is a way for
me to kind of get a bird’s-eye view of
my life and see what the issues are see
my place and what’s going on and how I
can maybe change the situation this
shift in perspective is incredibly
important
when you’re trying to battle depression
or when you’re trying to come to a place
where you can accept what’s going on in
your life journaling is also supported
by research as well at the University of
Texas they took 46 students and they
asked them to write in a journal for 15
minutes a day for about a week half of
those students they said you can write
about anything
you can write about a soccer game you
just saw you can write about football
game you can write about anything but it
has to be at least 15 minutes for about
a week and then the other half they said
okay for 15 minutes I want you to write
about something difficult that you
experienced in your life write about
something that was really difficult
maybe some emotions that you’ve
experienced write these things down for
15 minutes and then they track these
students for six months after this
experiment they found that the students
who actually talked about what was
really going on in their lives those
difficult emotions the students that
wrote about that they had less less
health issues for that six months they
were actually healthier than the
students who just wrote about anything
so journaling is incredibly important
for me and also it helps to eliminate
stress at the University of Chicago
students who wrote about their thoughts
and feelings before taking an important
exam actually did better on the exam
than the students who didn’t so that’s
not incentive to start writing I don’t
know what is finally I’ve been learning
how to monitor my thoughts when negative
starts thoughts start to creep in
especially thoughts that make me feel
like I’m maybe not worthy of an
experience or those thoughts that say
why would you want to do that you’re not
good at this
why would you think that you could talk
about something so difficult as sadness
or depression and think that people
would really listen to you when those
thoughts start to creep in I recognize
that there are thoughts that I don’t
have to believe I don’t have to sit here
and believe that I’m not worthy I can
take those thoughts and I can turn
them down and say thank you but no thank
you and I can choose to move in the
direction that I want to go even if I’m
scared for me that’s incredibly
important my favorite artist Georgia
O’Keeffe she has a quote that I love and
that I keep with me all the time she
says I’ve been absolutely terrified
every moment of my life but I’ve never
let it keep me from doing anything I’ve
wanted to do so whenever I have those
negative thoughts I noticed them I say
thank you but no thank you and I
continue to move forward so please those
of you especially who tend to struggle
sometimes like I do with sadness or
negative emotions continue to monitor
those thoughts and if you notice that
they’re mostly negative you have the
chance to change them over time you can
change that running tape in the back of
your life so it’s my hope that next time
you go through a difficult period in
life that you have people in your life
that you can actually turn to and talk
to about these things I hope that you’ll
find the courage to fight for your joy
through gratitude that you’ll discover
your own mind and your own thoughts
through journaling and that you’ll learn
to refute the negative thoughts in your
mind through monitoring them and saying
no and moving forward in the way you
want to go anyway and should you find
yourself struggling with depression if
you get to a place where you can’t make
the changes you want to make please
consider talking to someone whether it’s
a teacher or friends or even a
professional there’s no shame in that
there’s no shame in getting the help
that you need I mean consider it if your
body is not healthy if you’re sick and
you have to go to the doctor no one
tells you why are you going to the
doctor that’s crazy
don’t go to the doctor just walk it off
you’re okay you’re okay no one tells you
that
so if you’re having issues in your mind
why is it that we try to make people
feel bad about going to a doctor that
can help them with that it’s the same
thing it’s the same thing so it’s my
hope that if you do get to a place where
you cannot handle life that you would
seek help and you would stay in the game
of life because it can find really
interesting ways to surprise you stay in
the game stay here allow life to
surprise you
[Applause]
[Music]
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