Translator: Carolina Serna Berná Reviewer: Sebastian Betti
Thank you.
Madrid, 1982
This is me, eight years old.
One night, before going to sleep …
“Once upon a time…”
A story! I thought, excited.
“A beautiful young princess …”
I am me.
“Every night, the princess combed her long blonde hair in front of the mirror.”
Well, okay, I’m dark. But it can be worth!
“The girl, for her beauty,
It was the envy of the other women of the kingdom. “
Oh! They want to tell me that they are going to envy me.
I’ll keep an eye on …
“The princess fainted, dead, inert,
I expected a wonderful blue prince, very blue,
handsome, very handsome, rich, handsome,
I will awaken her with a kiss of true love. “
Mom, and I say …
How is that prince going to fall in love so much with me?
If he always sees me, I’m there, half dead,
Or waiting in a tower!
Or in a dance full of girls who just want to chase him!
Mom … and I say …
A kiss to a person who is fainting there on the floor?
Would not it be better to call a doctor?
Shh … Bethlehem, no questions.
You listen, my mother told me.
That love can do everything. You will see.
And I kept listening to the story.
“Then, the prince put his lips on the princess and, tachán!
I was rescued! “
Uff, thank you, prince!
As I just fell madly in love,
I will have all the children you want.
Yes, I will take care of everything and everyone.
I will never complain,
and I will always be perfect, young, beautiful, wonderful and thin.
End!
I believed it, I believed everything.
But all. From pe to pa, from start to finish.
The beauty, the submission, the weakness, the love …
and so, with this story, I was growing.
At school, I played rubber with my friends.
In a corner, yes.
Because the center of the patio occupied it every morning
an improvised soccer field.
Do not tell me you have not noticed?
In school the girls leave us the sides.
And the boys occupy the center.
This, unfortunately,
this usurpation of public space by men,
it will be the daily bread of many women.
Not?
In the subway.
(Expression of surprise)
At night when we return home.
(Expression of disgust)
Yes. For the day!
Walking down the street and in pants.
At the UN, if you have that luck. If not, in your office.
Or at the Nobel Prizes.
Yes! Congratulations to all those men.
And I kept believing the story …
In my house, my brother put the garbage down at night,
that was super dangerous, and I made him the bed.
Me, I played dads and moms.
What if he wanted to join my game?
He risked having all his friends tell him,
“But uncle …”
Imagine
If they were not caught playing the handkerchief or the rescue,
They used such strong arguments as …
“Uncle, is that you run like a girl!”
In this way, or other very similar,
Nowadays, equally, boys and girls build their reality,
your personality and space, the place you are going to occupy in the world
according to their gender.
Well, depending on the stereotypes that are attributed to your gender.
This is so, it was like that when I was little
and today it remains exactly the same.
Or maybe much worse.
Because the stereotypes are sold to us in bulk.
They are in the kiosk on the corner, in the bookshop, in the toy store,
in the mall … since they have a month.
I do not know if you can read it.
Body of a month: “Smart as a dad”,
“Pretty as a mom.”
The clichés of all life.
What happens now?
Princesses, roses, for them?
Blues, Indians and cowboys.
For the boys.
(Hard voice) Stories for children of five years.
(Sweet voice) Stories for girls of five years.
Hypersexualized images of seven or eight year old girls
in the Vogue publishing house in France.
Her director was fired for this report.
Look at the hardness of the images, what they are selling here.
[And followed the spell …]
And I, because I kept believing the story.
And that’s how I got to adolescence.
Yes, believing that it had to be perfect, like everyone,
and hiding my first menstruation,
something very relevant in the life of a girl, a woman,
as if it were something shameful.
Absolutely embarrassing.
That has not changed much.
Do not tell me it has not happened to you.
That in the office or in a bath they ask for a compress
As if they were asking for a stash of drugs, cocaine.
(Whispers) “Please, can you give me a compress?”
The compress!
This continues in the same way.
And I kept growing, I kept growing …
Until it arrived … my first love.
A love story.
Because remember, it was that I had believed everything.
Until romantic love can do everything
and it is the most wonderful thing that can happen to you in life.
Yes, I had believed it.
Until I suffered it.
Before continuing, we will define and reach an agreement
of what romantic love is
Because, more than once,
They have called me the Grinch of love for wanting to carry it.
(Click with the tongue) This is not Valentine’s Day,
I could go, but that’s another topic.
Nor romantic dinners by candlelight,
nor of bouquets of roses, no.
Romantic love is one that is formulated in the following way:
“The love conquers all”,
“True love is predestined”,
“Love requires total and absolute dedication,
and it is possession and exclusivity. “
Because these thoughts, so culturally accepted,
they prevent healthy relationships from being established.
And cause acceptance, normalization and justification
of clearly abusive and violent behaviors.
Fortunately, I did not fall spellbound for a long time,
and I came out of that relationship not with too many injuries.
[The revelation]
Eight years ago I was a mother.
Motherhood is many things,
but what I am interested in sharing here with you today and you is …
that allows you to see the world through the eyes of a girl.
And of course, what you see, is revealing.
Absolutely revealing
That revelation came to my life on any Sunday afternoon.
I had an attack of nostalgia
and I wanted to share with my daughter, Violeta, a moment that I, in my mind,
I remembered how wonderful.
I decided to rent Cinderella.
In my case it was Cinderella.
But I tell you that it would have been worth The Little Mermaid, The Sleeping Beauty …
or if you like strong emotions, Beauty and the Beast.
Ten minutes after putting the movie, Pablo, my partner, and I,
he began to enter us … hives.
And the worst thing of all is, that our discomfort,
It was directly proportional to our daughter’s happy face.
It is that it could not be.
The film lasted a quarter of an hour.
I do not know if you’ve seen La Cenicienta, the classic, lately.
That movie where the prince decides to call a dance to choose a wife.
To do this, he warns all the women of the kingdom.
Of course, they all want to be wives.
A great competition between them is established,
all wear corsets that prevent them from breathing,
they get dressed, they put on makeup, they wear high heels,
They even say that one wears glass shoes.
And the prince, choose a wife.
I told you, the movie lasted ten minutes.
We could not stand it anymore.
And what happened, that we did sieve.
Cinderella, out.
Snow white, outside.
Sleeping Beauty, outside.
The Little Mermaid, to the sea.
Beauty and the Beast, outside.
They all had to go outside.
All the movies of that style,
and the classic stories that inspired them, came out of our house
because none of them exceeded the critical eye of an adult
minimally concerned about gender issues.
All outside.
We started to get a mania about “Once upon a time …”
And what happens if I do not like it that time?
What happens?
I do not want “Once upon a time”.
And, suddenly, the spark arose and we said …
if in real life you do not like something, you change it,
you start again, you rewrite it,
Why not rewrite the stories?
Why do not we take away all that sexism, inequality,
all those submissive princesses, who wait,
and those princes who are the only ones who decide?
Why do not we take the colors out and say “this is what you are counting”
and we make a new version?
And so, with lively nightly conversations,
when Violeta had fallen asleep,
was born, along with Pablo, my partner,
“Once upon a time …”
Twice.
A second chance for classic stories.
We rewrote the story for Violeta at first,
for many girls,
but also for many children.
Because if the model that I told you before
that we transmitted to our daughter,
It is disastrous for them, I tell you that it is terrible for them.
Because we tell them that women wait
and that they decide, ride horses, have adventures,
are unable to care,
the care is ours, of the women.
And that they do not express their feelings,
and that violence is the solution to all conflicts.
And that’s how it was born Once upon a time.
Because we wanted to change the model.
And we did it
I’m going to give you three examples of the stories so you can see a little.
In Once Upon A Time Cinderella, there is a dance,
because they keep the great hits of the stories,
precisely to get the colors.
Cinderella goes to the dance, but not to be chosen,
but to tell the prince what it is to call a dance
and choose a wife as if she were in a shoe store.
You do, you do not, you do, you do not.
Also, Cinderella rejects the carriage and gallops.
I think this model is much more powerful for a girl.
And he also tells the Fairy Godmother that thank you very much for everything,
because of the dress and such … but that some crystal shoes,
to go through a stone floor …
better some bangles.
There were two times Sleeping Beauty.
Do you remember that in the original there are three fairies?
That they give Aurora three gifts.
We have changed them.
I think that the fairies now earn better wages.
Instead of sweetness, intelligence.
There is no color.
Instead of beauty, courage.
And instead of a nice voice,
something highly valued to sing beautiful songs,
his voice, his own and the ability to decide.
We also give Aurora the chance to be the one to rescue the prince
and fight against the dragon.
Another model that we love.
Beauty and the Beast.
Here allow me, that I am going to expand a little more
because I have a special hobby to this story.
(Laughter)
Is that, really, Beauty and the Beast …
reread it and watch the movie.
It is that it is an apology for sexist violence
disguised as romantic love.
It is evil, really.
How we tell our children that someone who kidnaps you,
who mistreats you, screams at you, humiliates you …
Look, do the exercise.
Imagine that in these images that I am teaching you
She is a woman and a man.
And you see it, and you see it on television.
Imagine
We put this on children of four years, five, six.
Adorned with a lot of brilli, brilli.
But this is it, look at what images.
We are saying that this is love.
And if you, Bella, you want, with your love you can change the Beast.
Because love can do everything.
Stay, stay, you can change
because in reality it is a tormented being.
Our Bella confronts the Beast.
He leaves his skin, his clothes, his nails, to escape his captivity.
And when the Beast, that in the end, spoiler,
it remains a beast,
she says, do you know what I’m saying?
That there you stay.
He answers…
But what will become of me if you leave?
Frankly, that’s your business.
This model of women we like much more.
And well, these are the models that we want.
Today here, I would like to know what story you want to write.
What story do you want to tell?
Do we really want to go through the partridges and tell another story?
Do you want to tell another story and rewrite,
Telling another different story, the story in capital letters?
It is that it is in your hands to tell it.
[Rewrite History]
This project,
it really was born being a very small thing,
but it has become great with small gestures.
I ask you for an exercise so that you realize
of the importance of small gestures.
Tonight if you have little ones at home
or go to a public library,
and look at the books that there are.
I do not know if you know the Bechdel test.
It is a test that is made to film films.
What it says is if three variables pass.
One, are there two female protagonists?
Do they talk among themselves?
And three, does that conversation speak of anything other than a man?
You will think that there is a lot that happens,
but it is that, there are very few that pass that simple test.
Bridget Jones I assure you it does not happen.
Even if they try to sell it, it does not happen.
Well, we are going to apply this test to these children’s libraries.
Is romantic love the axis of history?
Are the female characters stereotyped?
Are they roses, butterflies, size 36 and perfect?
And the men? Are they too?
Are they brave, decisive, strong?
You will see that few pass it.
It is doing a very interesting and important work.
But we are like that when we are little in relation to all the stories,
They say the opposite.
I, here, today, I tell you, that has happened to me.
I, I have believed the story. I, I believed it.
Even being quite old, I internalized it.
And, sometimes, I even liked it.
But one day I was walking with my crystal shoes,
I stumbled, broke my shoes and cut my feet.
Then I woke up, and I realized that I wanted to change the story.
I invite you to do the same,
you’re going to want to rescue a lot of boys and girls
to those who continue telling this same story.
And, well, I am a person who believes that things change …
changing them.
And as I have talked a lot, I leave here a glass slipper
so that you destroy it, you beat it,
because you’re going to love the feeling and I’m sure
that you are going to want to destroy many more.
Thank you.
(Applause)
Thank you.
Madrid, 1982
This is me, eight years old.
One night, before going to sleep …
“Once upon a time…”
A story! I thought, excited.
“A beautiful young princess …”
I am me.
“Every night, the princess combed her long blonde hair in front of the mirror.”
Well, okay, I’m dark. But it can be worth!
“The girl, for her beauty,
It was the envy of the other women of the kingdom. “
Oh! They want to tell me that they are going to envy me.
I’ll keep an eye on …
“The princess fainted, dead, inert,
I expected a wonderful blue prince, very blue,
handsome, very handsome, rich, handsome,
I will awaken her with a kiss of true love. “
Mom, and I say …
How is that prince going to fall in love so much with me?
If he always sees me, I’m there, half dead,
Or waiting in a tower!
Or in a dance full of girls who just want to chase him!
Mom … and I say …
A kiss to a person who is fainting there on the floor?
Would not it be better to call a doctor?
Shh … Bethlehem, no questions.
You listen, my mother told me.
That love can do everything. You will see.
And I kept listening to the story.
“Then, the prince put his lips on the princess and, tachán!
I was rescued! “
Uff, thank you, prince!
As I just fell madly in love,
I will have all the children you want.
Yes, I will take care of everything and everyone.
I will never complain,
and I will always be perfect, young, beautiful, wonderful and thin.
End!
I believed it, I believed everything.
But all. From pe to pa, from start to finish.
The beauty, the submission, the weakness, the love …
and so, with this story, I was growing.
At school, I played rubber with my friends.
In a corner, yes.
Because the center of the patio occupied it every morning
an improvised soccer field.
Do not tell me you have not noticed?
In school the girls leave us the sides.
And the boys occupy the center.
This, unfortunately,
this usurpation of public space by men,
it will be the daily bread of many women.
Not?
In the subway.
(Expression of surprise)
At night when we return home.
(Expression of disgust)
Yes. For the day!
Walking down the street and in pants.
At the UN, if you have that luck. If not, in your office.
Or at the Nobel Prizes.
Yes! Congratulations to all those men.
And I kept believing the story …
In my house, my brother put the garbage down at night,
that was super dangerous, and I made him the bed.
Me, I played dads and moms.
What if he wanted to join my game?
He risked having all his friends tell him,
“But uncle …”
Imagine
If they were not caught playing the handkerchief or the rescue,
They used such strong arguments as …
“Uncle, is that you run like a girl!”
In this way, or other very similar,
Nowadays, equally, boys and girls build their reality,
your personality and space, the place you are going to occupy in the world
according to their gender.
Well, depending on the stereotypes that are attributed to your gender.
This is so, it was like that when I was little
and today it remains exactly the same.
Or maybe much worse.
Because the stereotypes are sold to us in bulk.
They are in the kiosk on the corner, in the bookshop, in the toy store,
in the mall … since they have a month.
I do not know if you can read it.
Body of a month: “Smart as a dad”,
“Pretty as a mom.”
The clichés of all life.
What happens now?
Princesses, roses, for them?
Blues, Indians and cowboys.
For the boys.
(Hard voice) Stories for children of five years.
(Sweet voice) Stories for girls of five years.
Hypersexualized images of seven or eight year old girls
in the Vogue publishing house in France.
Her director was fired for this report.
Look at the hardness of the images, what they are selling here.
[And followed the spell …]
And I, because I kept believing the story.
And that’s how I got to adolescence.
Yes, believing that it had to be perfect, like everyone,
and hiding my first menstruation,
something very relevant in the life of a girl, a woman,
as if it were something shameful.
Absolutely embarrassing.
That has not changed much.
Do not tell me it has not happened to you.
That in the office or in a bath they ask for a compress
As if they were asking for a stash of drugs, cocaine.
(Whispers) “Please, can you give me a compress?”
The compress!
This continues in the same way.
And I kept growing, I kept growing …
Until it arrived … my first love.
A love story.
Because remember, it was that I had believed everything.
Until romantic love can do everything
and it is the most wonderful thing that can happen to you in life.
Yes, I had believed it.
Until I suffered it.
Before continuing, we will define and reach an agreement
of what romantic love is
Because, more than once,
They have called me the Grinch of love for wanting to carry it.
(Click with the tongue) This is not Valentine’s Day,
I could go, but that’s another topic.
Nor romantic dinners by candlelight,
nor of bouquets of roses, no.
Romantic love is one that is formulated in the following way:
“The love conquers all”,
“True love is predestined”,
“Love requires total and absolute dedication,
and it is possession and exclusivity. “
Because these thoughts, so culturally accepted,
they prevent healthy relationships from being established.
And cause acceptance, normalization and justification
of clearly abusive and violent behaviors.
Fortunately, I did not fall spellbound for a long time,
and I came out of that relationship not with too many injuries.
[The revelation]
Eight years ago I was a mother.
Motherhood is many things,
but what I am interested in sharing here with you today and you is …
that allows you to see the world through the eyes of a girl.
And of course, what you see, is revealing.
Absolutely revealing
That revelation came to my life on any Sunday afternoon.
I had an attack of nostalgia
and I wanted to share with my daughter, Violeta, a moment that I, in my mind,
I remembered how wonderful.
I decided to rent Cinderella.
In my case it was Cinderella.
But I tell you that it would have been worth The Little Mermaid, The Sleeping Beauty …
or if you like strong emotions, Beauty and the Beast.
Ten minutes after putting the movie, Pablo, my partner, and I,
he began to enter us … hives.
And the worst thing of all is, that our discomfort,
It was directly proportional to our daughter’s happy face.
It is that it could not be.
The film lasted a quarter of an hour.
I do not know if you’ve seen La Cenicienta, the classic, lately.
That movie where the prince decides to call a dance to choose a wife.
To do this, he warns all the women of the kingdom.
Of course, they all want to be wives.
A great competition between them is established,
all wear corsets that prevent them from breathing,
they get dressed, they put on makeup, they wear high heels,
They even say that one wears glass shoes.
And the prince, choose a wife.
I told you, the movie lasted ten minutes.
We could not stand it anymore.
And what happened, that we did sieve.
Cinderella, out.
Snow white, outside.
Sleeping Beauty, outside.
The Little Mermaid, to the sea.
Beauty and the Beast, outside.
They all had to go outside.
All the movies of that style,
and the classic stories that inspired them, came out of our house
because none of them exceeded the critical eye of an adult
minimally concerned about gender issues.
All outside.
We started to get a mania about “Once upon a time …”
And what happens if I do not like it that time?
What happens?
I do not want “Once upon a time”.
And, suddenly, the spark arose and we said …
if in real life you do not like something, you change it,
you start again, you rewrite it,
Why not rewrite the stories?
Why do not we take away all that sexism, inequality,
all those submissive princesses, who wait,
and those princes who are the only ones who decide?
Why do not we take the colors out and say “this is what you are counting”
and we make a new version?
And so, with lively nightly conversations,
when Violeta had fallen asleep,
was born, along with Pablo, my partner,
“Once upon a time …”
Twice.
A second chance for classic stories.
We rewrote the story for Violeta at first,
for many girls,
but also for many children.
Because if the model that I told you before
that we transmitted to our daughter,
It is disastrous for them, I tell you that it is terrible for them.
Because we tell them that women wait
and that they decide, ride horses, have adventures,
are unable to care,
the care is ours, of the women.
And that they do not express their feelings,
and that violence is the solution to all conflicts.
And that’s how it was born Once upon a time.
Because we wanted to change the model.
And we did it
I’m going to give you three examples of the stories so you can see a little.
In Once Upon A Time Cinderella, there is a dance,
because they keep the great hits of the stories,
precisely to get the colors.
Cinderella goes to the dance, but not to be chosen,
but to tell the prince what it is to call a dance
and choose a wife as if she were in a shoe store.
You do, you do not, you do, you do not.
Also, Cinderella rejects the carriage and gallops.
I think this model is much more powerful for a girl.
And he also tells the Fairy Godmother that thank you very much for everything,
because of the dress and such … but that some crystal shoes,
to go through a stone floor …
better some bangles.
There were two times Sleeping Beauty.
Do you remember that in the original there are three fairies?
That they give Aurora three gifts.
We have changed them.
I think that the fairies now earn better wages.
Instead of sweetness, intelligence.
There is no color.
Instead of beauty, courage.
And instead of a nice voice,
something highly valued to sing beautiful songs,
his voice, his own and the ability to decide.
We also give Aurora the chance to be the one to rescue the prince
and fight against the dragon.
Another model that we love.
Beauty and the Beast.
Here allow me, that I am going to expand a little more
because I have a special hobby to this story.
(Laughter)
Is that, really, Beauty and the Beast …
reread it and watch the movie.
It is that it is an apology for sexist violence
disguised as romantic love.
It is evil, really.
How we tell our children that someone who kidnaps you,
who mistreats you, screams at you, humiliates you …
Look, do the exercise.
Imagine that in these images that I am teaching you
She is a woman and a man.
And you see it, and you see it on television.
Imagine
We put this on children of four years, five, six.
Adorned with a lot of brilli, brilli.
But this is it, look at what images.
We are saying that this is love.
And if you, Bella, you want, with your love you can change the Beast.
Because love can do everything.
Stay, stay, you can change
because in reality it is a tormented being.
Our Bella confronts the Beast.
He leaves his skin, his clothes, his nails, to escape his captivity.
And when the Beast, that in the end, spoiler,
it remains a beast,
she says, do you know what I’m saying?
That there you stay.
He answers…
But what will become of me if you leave?
Frankly, that’s your business.
This model of women we like much more.
And well, these are the models that we want.
Today here, I would like to know what story you want to write.
What story do you want to tell?
Do we really want to go through the partridges and tell another story?
Do you want to tell another story and rewrite,
Telling another different story, the story in capital letters?
It is that it is in your hands to tell it.
[Rewrite History]
This project,
it really was born being a very small thing,
but it has become great with small gestures.
I ask you for an exercise so that you realize
of the importance of small gestures.
Tonight if you have little ones at home
or go to a public library,
and look at the books that there are.
I do not know if you know the Bechdel test.
It is a test that is made to film films.
What it says is if three variables pass.
One, are there two female protagonists?
Do they talk among themselves?
And three, does that conversation speak of anything other than a man?
You will think that there is a lot that happens,
but it is that, there are very few that pass that simple test.
Bridget Jones I assure you it does not happen.
Even if they try to sell it, it does not happen.
Well, we are going to apply this test to these children’s libraries.
Is romantic love the axis of history?
Are the female characters stereotyped?
Are they roses, butterflies, size 36 and perfect?
And the men? Are they too?
Are they brave, decisive, strong?
You will see that few pass it.
It is doing a very interesting and important work.
But we are like that when we are little in relation to all the stories,
They say the opposite.
I, here, today, I tell you, that has happened to me.
I, I have believed the story. I, I believed it.
Even being quite old, I internalized it.
And, sometimes, I even liked it.
But one day I was walking with my crystal shoes,
I stumbled, broke my shoes and cut my feet.
Then I woke up, and I realized that I wanted to change the story.
I invite you to do the same,
you’re going to want to rescue a lot of boys and girls
to those who continue telling this same story.
And, well, I am a person who believes that things change …
changing them.
And as I have talked a lot, I leave here a glass slipper
so that you destroy it, you beat it,
because you’re going to love the feeling and I’m sure
that you are going to want to destroy many more.
Thank you.
(Applause)
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