[Applause]
[Music]
good afternoon this is going to be fun I
had the pleasure of writing and
producing the play you’re about to see
to our knowledge this is the first time
excuse me excuse me hey Scott it’s Craig
Miller our director good afternoon my
name is Craig Alan Miller the second and
the director the creator of the staging
of this piece of art you’re about to see
Craig what are you doing this isn’t your
typical theatrical audience this is Ted
you can drop all the pretense really
thank God so as I was saying you’re in
for a treat this is a first the first
time to our knowledge ever that a TED
talk has been comprised entirely as a
play and your cast this afternoon is
comprised of mr. mark Bradbury as Curt
Juliette Noonan as Julie Paige Picard as
Daphne and Chandler parrot Thomas as
Monique so a tries we meet Julian Kurt –
concerned parents and then later you’ll
see he’s got this is the theater don’t
tell them show them writers
and now ladies and gentlemen reimagined
out back let me know where you want
everything uh-huh
my train in a bit we should get
everything put away soon Julie oh that’s
nice
the trucks on fire but I’ll just wait
for the rain to put it out oh good idea
what what has you so enraptured it’s the
pre-show for the TEDx program the
speakers are arriving in there stretched
Priuses what’s Ryan Seacrest doing there
oh he’s hosting the red carpet look he’s
interviewing Alex L cover well now that
is interesting
he’s the AI expert right yeah yeah oh
look at his clothes oh I wonder who his
designer is
I think it’s Men’s Warehouse can you put
it down put it down the TEDx conference
it’s porn for intellectuals besides I
need to talk to you you know where all
the supplies go actually I don’t but
it’s not about that where’s our daughter
oh she’s in her room with Monique
Monique who’s that he just wants to hang
with you no way you’re the one he likes
every time he talks to me it’s always
what are you and Daphne doing or he’s
Daphne okay so stupid if he likes me
then why not just say it he’s really hot
but still love me you should not judge
him based on his Oh a selfie
oMG anyway let’s pick up where we left
off already on it
oh this universe is dumb I don’t think
it’s gonna work what are they doing in
there probably playing that new video
game she wanted nice time Kurt the last
thing that girl needs is videogames oh
that’s silly fantasy
and violin I picked it out no assassins
no car thieves what does it do it’s a
simulation game they create a universe
where they can explore family life you
know my fantasy simulation mm-hmm one
where she empties the dishwasher what
the oh you got there it’ll be good for
educational Oh try changing the settings
here it doesn’t seem to educational I
don’t like how much time they’re
spending with each other she is a bad
influence say you’re the one who changed
the settings she needs to spend more
time on homework what’s the point she’s
not getting anything out of school she
loves school doesn’t matter her
education is useless the teachers are
great they work hard they should be for
what we pay in taxes let’s talk about
this later we need to get lunch started
I’m sure the girls are getting hungry
there you go changing the subject every
time I put a dent in your liberal armor
we just need to get the food ready we
can continue later yeah you better
believe we will why must every
discussion be political why don’t we
just have a normal conversation
look the u.s. spends more than any other
country on education and yet our test
scores rank in the bottom 20% worldwide
and you’re making up facts education
spending has been cut by over 80% in the
past 15 years we need to be spending
more money on education I was lying
about facts
Oh God I tell ya some parts of this
universe really freaked me out
how’s that I’ve been reading with
programs like this and more advanced
simulations created by scientists there
are over a billion artificially created
universes what’s your point how do we
know we’re in the real universe the odds
are a billion to one we’re part of an
artificial one as long as Descartes
lived in the same universe as me I know
I’m real French philosophy might be part
of the programming for that pains real
isn’t it let’s get back to the
simulation I want to make some progress
for lunch Oh another selfie from me
still wants to come over damn but no
maybe after lunch I know those eyes are
real and it isn’t all just education her
future is bleak because the job market
is being flooded by immigrants oh there
you go with immigration it is the cause
of all that’s wrong crime the economy
even hurricane do you even want border
control I just don’t want to fight with
you and even you just read the article
that I sent you then you would
understand what I did start to read it
until I saw it was from that right-wing
fear monger give it to you every site
that doesn’t preach socialism is a
right-wing fear-mongering that is not
fair you know I am always sorry if I
don’t know anything okay what I see is
that is the first correct fact you’ve
said all day
always with the cheap shot it’s exactly
why we can never hear your I never hear
your parents argue about politics don’t
they care but you know them both very
analytical recent opinions supported by
evidence quite the contrast – can we
create a world with less hostility what
are you doing changing some of the rules
of the universe like you said this
version is hard to deal with you’re not
supposed to have access to this area
programmers only that’s part of the
assignment all revolutions start with
finding a back door so to speak Gandhi
was the ultimate hacker limiting free
speech oh you ain’t no Gandhi when mr. C
was assigning the simulation he said
that free speech isn’t absolute you
can’t purposely incite violence why
can’t we make it illegal for a
publication to purposely lie but
restricting the press there will be
unintended consequences maybe but
they’ll be outweighed by banning trolls
from blatantly lying about facts all I
know is that the current universe is
dysfunctional who determines what’s a
lie and what’s true the courts do that
every day sometimes with life and death
it’s
hey trust in the press is rising from
its all-time low having more consistent
facts will make people less aggressive
look at you the radical well it’s like
Shah said you see things and you say why
but I dream things that never were and I
say why not quoting George Bernard Shaw
I’m impressed
drama club bitch I see your point
I read the article you sent me well then
why are we having this debate because my
parents and your grandparents were
immigrants what would you say if they
know that Julie but those were different
times okay think of how many of our
friends that have been laid off lately
what we need to know I get that and I
think there’s a compromise that we can
reach but the social issues on your
platform a no gender or civil rights no
gun control harsh sentencing on minor
crimes I just can’t get behind that I
agree but the economy must be first okay
the other facets will change when the
country changes but meanwhile how long
will that take 30 years oh no that is
too long it sucks that every election we
have two unsatisfactory choices that’s
reality well if that is reality then I
want to live in a simulation oh I got an
idea oh go back to the restricted area
you’re going to mandate free tickets to
Arcade Fire concert I’m serious get me
in there hey chill there you are don’t
you think it’s odd that this country is
one of the few democracies with this
type of political system a democracy’s a
democracy no in lots of places locally
elected representatives select party
leaders and in most countries there are
more than just two parties I don’t see
the difference a wider variety of you
are expressed and politics are less
controlled by outside interests plus
candidates have more substance than a
reality TV star I guess it couldn’t hurt
more than two-thirds of the populace
believe gun laws should be stricter and
yet nothing seems to be happening so if
I change things here and wow there’s
more consensus between beliefs and
legislation messin with the government
looks wonderful I couldn’t have done it
without you
girls it’s almost time for lunch I have
a surprise for you
oh you’re going to my campaign meeting
with me that would be a fantasy no I
have got these two tickets to the TEDx
copper relax it never starts on time
people just hang around in the lobby
chatting it is even worse during
intermission listen while we’re in the
car there is something I do want to talk
to you about has she talked to you about
you know
this is getting really interesting gotta
shut her up okay I think it’s ready to
turn in mr. Siebel of it he’ll probably
give us an A+ it’s good this revised
world might even be sustainable but I’d
like to do even better let’s try again
after lunch okay I’ll save it no delete
it we already know some of the impacts I
want to start fresh sure maybe we could
try less drastic measures to get the
same effect yeah and maybe change some
parts of the educational value system
this world really sucked
it had to be reimagined or those people
couldn’t survive did you see how they
picked their top judges insane how about
next time we make Julian Kurt to be your
parents I was starting to take it
personally my parents would serve better
food what was that crap they were making
speaking of which let’s get something to
eat
hey later will you help me empty the
dishwasher
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
name change
[Music]
have to leave different man
change me but I can’t raise time
[Music]
good afternoon this is going to be fun I
had the pleasure of writing and
producing the play you’re about to see
to our knowledge this is the first time
excuse me excuse me hey Scott it’s Craig
Miller our director good afternoon my
name is Craig Alan Miller the second and
the director the creator of the staging
of this piece of art you’re about to see
Craig what are you doing this isn’t your
typical theatrical audience this is Ted
you can drop all the pretense really
thank God so as I was saying you’re in
for a treat this is a first the first
time to our knowledge ever that a TED
talk has been comprised entirely as a
play and your cast this afternoon is
comprised of mr. mark Bradbury as Curt
Juliette Noonan as Julie Paige Picard as
Daphne and Chandler parrot Thomas as
Monique so a tries we meet Julian Kurt –
concerned parents and then later you’ll
see he’s got this is the theater don’t
tell them show them writers
and now ladies and gentlemen reimagined
out back let me know where you want
everything uh-huh
my train in a bit we should get
everything put away soon Julie oh that’s
nice
the trucks on fire but I’ll just wait
for the rain to put it out oh good idea
what what has you so enraptured it’s the
pre-show for the TEDx program the
speakers are arriving in there stretched
Priuses what’s Ryan Seacrest doing there
oh he’s hosting the red carpet look he’s
interviewing Alex L cover well now that
is interesting
he’s the AI expert right yeah yeah oh
look at his clothes oh I wonder who his
designer is
I think it’s Men’s Warehouse can you put
it down put it down the TEDx conference
it’s porn for intellectuals besides I
need to talk to you you know where all
the supplies go actually I don’t but
it’s not about that where’s our daughter
oh she’s in her room with Monique
Monique who’s that he just wants to hang
with you no way you’re the one he likes
every time he talks to me it’s always
what are you and Daphne doing or he’s
Daphne okay so stupid if he likes me
then why not just say it he’s really hot
but still love me you should not judge
him based on his Oh a selfie
oMG anyway let’s pick up where we left
off already on it
oh this universe is dumb I don’t think
it’s gonna work what are they doing in
there probably playing that new video
game she wanted nice time Kurt the last
thing that girl needs is videogames oh
that’s silly fantasy
and violin I picked it out no assassins
no car thieves what does it do it’s a
simulation game they create a universe
where they can explore family life you
know my fantasy simulation mm-hmm one
where she empties the dishwasher what
the oh you got there it’ll be good for
educational Oh try changing the settings
here it doesn’t seem to educational I
don’t like how much time they’re
spending with each other she is a bad
influence say you’re the one who changed
the settings she needs to spend more
time on homework what’s the point she’s
not getting anything out of school she
loves school doesn’t matter her
education is useless the teachers are
great they work hard they should be for
what we pay in taxes let’s talk about
this later we need to get lunch started
I’m sure the girls are getting hungry
there you go changing the subject every
time I put a dent in your liberal armor
we just need to get the food ready we
can continue later yeah you better
believe we will why must every
discussion be political why don’t we
just have a normal conversation
look the u.s. spends more than any other
country on education and yet our test
scores rank in the bottom 20% worldwide
and you’re making up facts education
spending has been cut by over 80% in the
past 15 years we need to be spending
more money on education I was lying
about facts
Oh God I tell ya some parts of this
universe really freaked me out
how’s that I’ve been reading with
programs like this and more advanced
simulations created by scientists there
are over a billion artificially created
universes what’s your point how do we
know we’re in the real universe the odds
are a billion to one we’re part of an
artificial one as long as Descartes
lived in the same universe as me I know
I’m real French philosophy might be part
of the programming for that pains real
isn’t it let’s get back to the
simulation I want to make some progress
for lunch Oh another selfie from me
still wants to come over damn but no
maybe after lunch I know those eyes are
real and it isn’t all just education her
future is bleak because the job market
is being flooded by immigrants oh there
you go with immigration it is the cause
of all that’s wrong crime the economy
even hurricane do you even want border
control I just don’t want to fight with
you and even you just read the article
that I sent you then you would
understand what I did start to read it
until I saw it was from that right-wing
fear monger give it to you every site
that doesn’t preach socialism is a
right-wing fear-mongering that is not
fair you know I am always sorry if I
don’t know anything okay what I see is
that is the first correct fact you’ve
said all day
always with the cheap shot it’s exactly
why we can never hear your I never hear
your parents argue about politics don’t
they care but you know them both very
analytical recent opinions supported by
evidence quite the contrast – can we
create a world with less hostility what
are you doing changing some of the rules
of the universe like you said this
version is hard to deal with you’re not
supposed to have access to this area
programmers only that’s part of the
assignment all revolutions start with
finding a back door so to speak Gandhi
was the ultimate hacker limiting free
speech oh you ain’t no Gandhi when mr. C
was assigning the simulation he said
that free speech isn’t absolute you
can’t purposely incite violence why
can’t we make it illegal for a
publication to purposely lie but
restricting the press there will be
unintended consequences maybe but
they’ll be outweighed by banning trolls
from blatantly lying about facts all I
know is that the current universe is
dysfunctional who determines what’s a
lie and what’s true the courts do that
every day sometimes with life and death
it’s
hey trust in the press is rising from
its all-time low having more consistent
facts will make people less aggressive
look at you the radical well it’s like
Shah said you see things and you say why
but I dream things that never were and I
say why not quoting George Bernard Shaw
I’m impressed
drama club bitch I see your point
I read the article you sent me well then
why are we having this debate because my
parents and your grandparents were
immigrants what would you say if they
know that Julie but those were different
times okay think of how many of our
friends that have been laid off lately
what we need to know I get that and I
think there’s a compromise that we can
reach but the social issues on your
platform a no gender or civil rights no
gun control harsh sentencing on minor
crimes I just can’t get behind that I
agree but the economy must be first okay
the other facets will change when the
country changes but meanwhile how long
will that take 30 years oh no that is
too long it sucks that every election we
have two unsatisfactory choices that’s
reality well if that is reality then I
want to live in a simulation oh I got an
idea oh go back to the restricted area
you’re going to mandate free tickets to
Arcade Fire concert I’m serious get me
in there hey chill there you are don’t
you think it’s odd that this country is
one of the few democracies with this
type of political system a democracy’s a
democracy no in lots of places locally
elected representatives select party
leaders and in most countries there are
more than just two parties I don’t see
the difference a wider variety of you
are expressed and politics are less
controlled by outside interests plus
candidates have more substance than a
reality TV star I guess it couldn’t hurt
more than two-thirds of the populace
believe gun laws should be stricter and
yet nothing seems to be happening so if
I change things here and wow there’s
more consensus between beliefs and
legislation messin with the government
looks wonderful I couldn’t have done it
without you
girls it’s almost time for lunch I have
a surprise for you
oh you’re going to my campaign meeting
with me that would be a fantasy no I
have got these two tickets to the TEDx
copper relax it never starts on time
people just hang around in the lobby
chatting it is even worse during
intermission listen while we’re in the
car there is something I do want to talk
to you about has she talked to you about
you know
this is getting really interesting gotta
shut her up okay I think it’s ready to
turn in mr. Siebel of it he’ll probably
give us an A+ it’s good this revised
world might even be sustainable but I’d
like to do even better let’s try again
after lunch okay I’ll save it no delete
it we already know some of the impacts I
want to start fresh sure maybe we could
try less drastic measures to get the
same effect yeah and maybe change some
parts of the educational value system
this world really sucked
it had to be reimagined or those people
couldn’t survive did you see how they
picked their top judges insane how about
next time we make Julian Kurt to be your
parents I was starting to take it
personally my parents would serve better
food what was that crap they were making
speaking of which let’s get something to
eat
hey later will you help me empty the
dishwasher
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
name change
[Music]
have to leave different man
change me but I can’t raise time
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