let me tell you a story several years
ago some friends of mine and I went on a
sea kayaking trip to Alaska it was
absolutely gorgeous and about midway
through the trip we went on this
incredible hike that the guide had
shared with us saying that she had seen
this beautiful waterfall that was hidden
in the rainforest so four of us decided
to go on this hike together
it was the guide my friend Matt myself
and another gentleman from the trip
about midway through the hike we came
out onto this beautiful outcropping that
looked out over a gorgeous valley but
sadly for us the path continued up the
side of a mountain that had a sheer rock
wall on the right very narrow path and a
drop of anywhere from 65 to about a
hundred and fifty feet by the time we
turned the corner now I’m not afraid of
heights and I was fine with this
in theory we started walking down this
path and all I could do because the path
was so narrow is just watch my friend
Matt’s feet shuffling in front of me as
we were walking along just like in a
cartoon
I saw the dirt go out from underneath
Matt’s feet his feet went wobble I
grabbed a route along the rock wall I
put my arm out Matt grabbed my arm with
just singing to the gentleman behind me
and the gentleman behind me was
fortunately paying attention and slammed
Matt right up against the face of the
wall like this so we stood there for a
minute
took a breath and as I make my living
with words I was the first to speak I
looked at the gaping hole and I looked
at my friend Matt and I said May who’s
still pressed up against the rock wall
it to me went I waited the gentlemen
behind them and I said who the hood then
off we went dropping back down the
pathway to go back to camp
there was you could imagine if any of
you have ever been through this moment
before you know exactly what happened to
me about 50 yards down the path right
the adrenaline left my body my knees
started to go I started to cry I felt
sick and the thing that was fascinating
to me about this story is that by the
time I got back to camp I realized that
I really didn’t remember any of it
happening in my own mind’s eye the only
thing I really remember myself as I can
see Matt’s hands on my arm if that
adrenaline hit was so huge that I was
acting purely from instinct now it’s a
good thing it was instinct and I know it
was instinct because had I had a
conscious thought at all I would have
looked at Matt 180 pounds me upper body
strength of a seven-year-old by I’m
sorry I’ll call home for you now some
people would say that that mountaintop
moment was a courageous act but really
for me it wasn’t it was just a really
great cocktail of adrenaline and
instinct and when you think about it
that’s really what most of us are taught
courage is we’re taught the courage is
that big heroic death-defying
life-threatening act executed by only
the chosen few
and that that is actually reinforced
constantly with a barrage of headlines
and images that courage is just
something that’s unattainable and beyond
us but is that really what courage is is
it really only those big heroic actions
and that question is really what started
me on an accidental research project on
courage as a recovering corporate
executive turned leadership consultant I
was shocked at just how many times
inside of teams and organizations I
heard people talking about lacking the
courage to change direction on a project
or to even do something as simple as
pitching a new innovative idea or
process we’re raising your hand in a
meeting and discussing a dissenting
opinion I was floored that I was seeing
teams and actually entire companies
being held back by individuals that look
just like us being unable to get past
their fear to quickly make decisions and
it got me wondering what if we didn’t
have to wait for that crisis to act
courageously what if we made courage a
conscious choice and that is really
what’s propelled me over the past two
decades is to better understand what
courage looks like feels like and
frankly how do we get more of it well
over 8,000 interviews and two decades
later when I started interviewing folks
that was friends and colleagues and then
the poor suffering souls sitting next to
me on airplanes then at larger and
larger groups of people within our own
client organizations to try and
understand what was getting in our way
and how do we find a way to consciously
build courage now I know for me the most
surprising thing and frankly shocking
thing that we learned
is that only one in three of us believe
were courageous that blew my mind
because think about it at a time in our
world where the decisions are bigger the
information is overwhelming and we’re
being asked to make tough decisions in
shorter and shorter timeframes only one
in three of us are showing up believing
we can take courageous action when the
problems facing our society and our
planet are complex and difficult and
frightening only one of us in three
believe we can actually courageously
take action now that statistic isn’t
that surprising when you think about how
all of us react in the moment when we
have that little moment of anxiety or
fear that holds us back we hesitate or
we stop before taking action it’s that
one little moment that we have a choice
in how we act or don’t act and I know
for me in that moment you have those
voices in your head do you have those
two many many voices you’re not smart
enough strong enough young enough old
enough strong enough I call those little
voices the courage Stranglers that’s
pretty graphic description isn’t it but
in my mind a courage Strangler literally
chokes our ability to act courageously
and these are the myths and beliefs that
we hold about both ourselves and about
courage
the first Strangler that we identified
is the myth that courage is big it’s
that big heroic act the death-defying
life-threatening act but what our
research has shown is actually most of
us believe courage are those smaller
everyday actions that we all take and
this is particularly true when you’re
talking about someone else
and the courage
they have had to do everyday simple acts
of courage I’ll just show you how
universal this idea is how many of you
either personally or professionally in
the last year have said to yourself I
wish I had the courage to raise your
hands it’s almost all of us
that’s how universal that courage
Strangler is second courage Strangler
that we identified as if you are
courageous you have no fear that’s
absolutely not true if you’re not scared
courage is not about being fearless
rather it’s the ability to feel that
fear and not allow it to paralyze you
courage is never about being fearless as
a matter of fact for most of us that
little rush of anxiety that little bit
of fear might actually give us that
adrenaline hit to take the action that
we were fearful of so courage is not
just about being fearless but not
allowing that fear to paralyze you and
the third courage Strangler we
discovered is that you either have or
don’t have courage people are just born
with it it’s not true what our research
has shown us is that 100% of us are
courageous and even more importantly
courage can be learned and it can be
strengthened the best analogy I have for
this is courage is just like any other
muscle if you choose to target it and
exercise it it will get stronger and
I’ll prove this to you right now
how many of you can think back to a time
when you had that moment of fear but you
took action in spite of it it might be
something silly like you’re on the beach
in Mexico had maybe one too many
margaritas and he thought parasailing
was a great idea good I’m not alone in
that obviously perfect
or it might be something more serious
where you decide that you want to do a
TEDx I don’t know what I was thinking
you want to do a TEDx oh maybe you’re
not that comfortable on stage
whatever that example is I want you to
think back to how you felt right after
and my bed as most of you if it was
something big you felt amazing like you
could conquer the world
maybe if it was something smaller you
might have just had that wonderful quiet
moment of pride feeling good about what
you done that’s the perfect example of
the power of targeting that muscle and
lifting that weight because it does
allow you to strengthen your ability to
be courageous so as we were thinking
about this and trying to understand it
we spent a great deal of time talking to
people about not only what held them
back but more importantly how they kind
of tricked themselves into taking the
courageous action regardless and what we
discovered is just like fear courage can
be contagious and you’ve all seen it
it’s the first person who stands up at
the standing ovation and everybody
follows it’s the first person on the
dance floor if we all exercise our
courage muscle it will not just enable
us but it will enable all of those
around us so as we looked at how you
build your courage we discovered that
there’s three really simple but powerful
things that you can do personally and
professionally to help build your
courage the first is recognize the
opportunity every single time you have
that little vision of fear a little bit
of anxiety that’s your moment to lift
the weight and exercise your courage
muscle the second is get comfortable
with the discomfort
it’s not gonna feel fun I can tell you
that right now
get comfortable with the discomfort I
mean building your courage muscle is
just like learning a new language nobody
would expect you to be fluent without a
whole lot of mistakes a whole lot of
conscious practice feeling kind of silly
and most importantly being able to give
yourself that pep talk
in order to keep going third thing is
ask what’s the best thing that could
happen now remember earlier when I asked
you how many of you have thought thought
to yourself personally or professionally
I wish I had the courage to I want you
to take a moment and think about that
situation you were pondering and rather
than asking what’s the worst thing that
can happen if I do this what if you
asked yourself what’s the best thing
that could happen if I did this it
changes the whole discussion doesn’t it
it actually changes your perspective so
why does any of this matter what does it
matter that we know about the courage
Stranglers or what we know about courage
well imagine if instead of one in three
of us believing that we could make a
difference what if a hundred percent of
us believed that we could take
courageous action and it matters because
in a world where our problems are so
complex and big and frightening I know
it’s so easy for all of us to say well
what difference can I make about climate
change or an election or the atrocities
happening in other countries but the
reality is what our research has shown
is that if we practice our courage if we
start lifting heavier and heavier
weights with that muscle it will enable
a hundred percent of us to start
tackling those problems and that’s what
those problems need especially right now
there’s a wonderful quote by nin that
says life shrinks or expands
proportion to one’s courage I want you
to think about what we could do in our
homes in our families in our teams in
our companies in our countries and in
our world if a hundred percent of us
consciously made the choice to build our
courage thank you [Applause]
ago some friends of mine and I went on a
sea kayaking trip to Alaska it was
absolutely gorgeous and about midway
through the trip we went on this
incredible hike that the guide had
shared with us saying that she had seen
this beautiful waterfall that was hidden
in the rainforest so four of us decided
to go on this hike together
it was the guide my friend Matt myself
and another gentleman from the trip
about midway through the hike we came
out onto this beautiful outcropping that
looked out over a gorgeous valley but
sadly for us the path continued up the
side of a mountain that had a sheer rock
wall on the right very narrow path and a
drop of anywhere from 65 to about a
hundred and fifty feet by the time we
turned the corner now I’m not afraid of
heights and I was fine with this
in theory we started walking down this
path and all I could do because the path
was so narrow is just watch my friend
Matt’s feet shuffling in front of me as
we were walking along just like in a
cartoon
I saw the dirt go out from underneath
Matt’s feet his feet went wobble I
grabbed a route along the rock wall I
put my arm out Matt grabbed my arm with
just singing to the gentleman behind me
and the gentleman behind me was
fortunately paying attention and slammed
Matt right up against the face of the
wall like this so we stood there for a
minute
took a breath and as I make my living
with words I was the first to speak I
looked at the gaping hole and I looked
at my friend Matt and I said May who’s
still pressed up against the rock wall
it to me went I waited the gentlemen
behind them and I said who the hood then
off we went dropping back down the
pathway to go back to camp
there was you could imagine if any of
you have ever been through this moment
before you know exactly what happened to
me about 50 yards down the path right
the adrenaline left my body my knees
started to go I started to cry I felt
sick and the thing that was fascinating
to me about this story is that by the
time I got back to camp I realized that
I really didn’t remember any of it
happening in my own mind’s eye the only
thing I really remember myself as I can
see Matt’s hands on my arm if that
adrenaline hit was so huge that I was
acting purely from instinct now it’s a
good thing it was instinct and I know it
was instinct because had I had a
conscious thought at all I would have
looked at Matt 180 pounds me upper body
strength of a seven-year-old by I’m
sorry I’ll call home for you now some
people would say that that mountaintop
moment was a courageous act but really
for me it wasn’t it was just a really
great cocktail of adrenaline and
instinct and when you think about it
that’s really what most of us are taught
courage is we’re taught the courage is
that big heroic death-defying
life-threatening act executed by only
the chosen few
and that that is actually reinforced
constantly with a barrage of headlines
and images that courage is just
something that’s unattainable and beyond
us but is that really what courage is is
it really only those big heroic actions
and that question is really what started
me on an accidental research project on
courage as a recovering corporate
executive turned leadership consultant I
was shocked at just how many times
inside of teams and organizations I
heard people talking about lacking the
courage to change direction on a project
or to even do something as simple as
pitching a new innovative idea or
process we’re raising your hand in a
meeting and discussing a dissenting
opinion I was floored that I was seeing
teams and actually entire companies
being held back by individuals that look
just like us being unable to get past
their fear to quickly make decisions and
it got me wondering what if we didn’t
have to wait for that crisis to act
courageously what if we made courage a
conscious choice and that is really
what’s propelled me over the past two
decades is to better understand what
courage looks like feels like and
frankly how do we get more of it well
over 8,000 interviews and two decades
later when I started interviewing folks
that was friends and colleagues and then
the poor suffering souls sitting next to
me on airplanes then at larger and
larger groups of people within our own
client organizations to try and
understand what was getting in our way
and how do we find a way to consciously
build courage now I know for me the most
surprising thing and frankly shocking
thing that we learned
is that only one in three of us believe
were courageous that blew my mind
because think about it at a time in our
world where the decisions are bigger the
information is overwhelming and we’re
being asked to make tough decisions in
shorter and shorter timeframes only one
in three of us are showing up believing
we can take courageous action when the
problems facing our society and our
planet are complex and difficult and
frightening only one of us in three
believe we can actually courageously
take action now that statistic isn’t
that surprising when you think about how
all of us react in the moment when we
have that little moment of anxiety or
fear that holds us back we hesitate or
we stop before taking action it’s that
one little moment that we have a choice
in how we act or don’t act and I know
for me in that moment you have those
voices in your head do you have those
two many many voices you’re not smart
enough strong enough young enough old
enough strong enough I call those little
voices the courage Stranglers that’s
pretty graphic description isn’t it but
in my mind a courage Strangler literally
chokes our ability to act courageously
and these are the myths and beliefs that
we hold about both ourselves and about
courage
the first Strangler that we identified
is the myth that courage is big it’s
that big heroic act the death-defying
life-threatening act but what our
research has shown is actually most of
us believe courage are those smaller
everyday actions that we all take and
this is particularly true when you’re
talking about someone else
and the courage
they have had to do everyday simple acts
of courage I’ll just show you how
universal this idea is how many of you
either personally or professionally in
the last year have said to yourself I
wish I had the courage to raise your
hands it’s almost all of us
that’s how universal that courage
Strangler is second courage Strangler
that we identified as if you are
courageous you have no fear that’s
absolutely not true if you’re not scared
courage is not about being fearless
rather it’s the ability to feel that
fear and not allow it to paralyze you
courage is never about being fearless as
a matter of fact for most of us that
little rush of anxiety that little bit
of fear might actually give us that
adrenaline hit to take the action that
we were fearful of so courage is not
just about being fearless but not
allowing that fear to paralyze you and
the third courage Strangler we
discovered is that you either have or
don’t have courage people are just born
with it it’s not true what our research
has shown us is that 100% of us are
courageous and even more importantly
courage can be learned and it can be
strengthened the best analogy I have for
this is courage is just like any other
muscle if you choose to target it and
exercise it it will get stronger and
I’ll prove this to you right now
how many of you can think back to a time
when you had that moment of fear but you
took action in spite of it it might be
something silly like you’re on the beach
in Mexico had maybe one too many
margaritas and he thought parasailing
was a great idea good I’m not alone in
that obviously perfect
or it might be something more serious
where you decide that you want to do a
TEDx I don’t know what I was thinking
you want to do a TEDx oh maybe you’re
not that comfortable on stage
whatever that example is I want you to
think back to how you felt right after
and my bed as most of you if it was
something big you felt amazing like you
could conquer the world
maybe if it was something smaller you
might have just had that wonderful quiet
moment of pride feeling good about what
you done that’s the perfect example of
the power of targeting that muscle and
lifting that weight because it does
allow you to strengthen your ability to
be courageous so as we were thinking
about this and trying to understand it
we spent a great deal of time talking to
people about not only what held them
back but more importantly how they kind
of tricked themselves into taking the
courageous action regardless and what we
discovered is just like fear courage can
be contagious and you’ve all seen it
it’s the first person who stands up at
the standing ovation and everybody
follows it’s the first person on the
dance floor if we all exercise our
courage muscle it will not just enable
us but it will enable all of those
around us so as we looked at how you
build your courage we discovered that
there’s three really simple but powerful
things that you can do personally and
professionally to help build your
courage the first is recognize the
opportunity every single time you have
that little vision of fear a little bit
of anxiety that’s your moment to lift
the weight and exercise your courage
muscle the second is get comfortable
with the discomfort
it’s not gonna feel fun I can tell you
that right now
get comfortable with the discomfort I
mean building your courage muscle is
just like learning a new language nobody
would expect you to be fluent without a
whole lot of mistakes a whole lot of
conscious practice feeling kind of silly
and most importantly being able to give
yourself that pep talk
in order to keep going third thing is
ask what’s the best thing that could
happen now remember earlier when I asked
you how many of you have thought thought
to yourself personally or professionally
I wish I had the courage to I want you
to take a moment and think about that
situation you were pondering and rather
than asking what’s the worst thing that
can happen if I do this what if you
asked yourself what’s the best thing
that could happen if I did this it
changes the whole discussion doesn’t it
it actually changes your perspective so
why does any of this matter what does it
matter that we know about the courage
Stranglers or what we know about courage
well imagine if instead of one in three
of us believing that we could make a
difference what if a hundred percent of
us believed that we could take
courageous action and it matters because
in a world where our problems are so
complex and big and frightening I know
it’s so easy for all of us to say well
what difference can I make about climate
change or an election or the atrocities
happening in other countries but the
reality is what our research has shown
is that if we practice our courage if we
start lifting heavier and heavier
weights with that muscle it will enable
a hundred percent of us to start
tackling those problems and that’s what
those problems need especially right now
there’s a wonderful quote by nin that
says life shrinks or expands
proportion to one’s courage I want you
to think about what we could do in our
homes in our families in our teams in
our companies in our countries and in
our world if a hundred percent of us
consciously made the choice to build our
courage thank you [Applause]
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