down so we could build a playground
we made
[Music]
[Applause]
are you scared and I’m not asking this
related to the video you just show so is
anybody scared right now if you are
please raise your hands okay cool I’m
not alone today is actually the first
time that I talk in public so yeah I am
scared but yet here I am standing in
front of you guys talking so why would I
do something that I’m scared of is there
something wrong with me oh maybe just
maybe there is something right in me see
I love challenges I love to face
challenges I love to realize that I have
fears and I love to punch them in the
nose I love to fight my fears and it
comes a long way when I was a kid I was
bullied at school and therefore my
parents signed me up for karate lessons
and then I was bullied at school and at
karate lessons well that happens but I
will be forever grateful to my parents
because those lessons were actually the
first step to overcome my biggest fear
at the time which was being punched in
my face my beautiful face and with
karate I actually learned a few things
about me the first one is that I love
challenges and the second one is that I
love the dynamics between two moving
bodies you may know it but karate is
very elusive and defensive and like
contacts and I wanted something more
something more full contacts so I moved
from martial arts to combat sports and
that’s how I started boxing and I loved
it
I really loved it but I felt too limited
in my movement I could only use my hands
and I wanted to be more free with my
body that’s actually how I discovered
mixed martial arts which is what you saw
on the video and from the first training
I fell in love I fell really in love
with that sports
you might know that guys think about sex
every 7 seconds well I think about MMA
every 5 seconds that’s just how deep in
love I am with that sports and that
would have never been possible I would
have never discovered mixed martial arts
if it wasn’t for my parents pushing me
to overcome my fear so today I would
like to talk about overcoming your fears
because for me it was really important
to discover my greatest passion even my
purpose of life and I want to push you
to overcome your fear there are many
reasons the first one is where that just
explains maybe behind one of your
biggest fear there is your biggest
passion your purpose of life and there
are many other reasons you can see
overcoming overcoming your fears as a
big project with a lot of challenges and
just like any big project with
challenges once you are successful with
it you will have that feeling that
positive feeling of satisfaction maybe
even achievement and during our life we
should be looking for those positive
feelings also fears creates effort zones
and when you have effort zones you try
to avoid situations but at some point on
in your life you will have to face those
situations and it should be a pity to
make an effort to face those situations
especially when with the right tools you
can just enjoy them now I would like to
be transparent I wish I was a
grandfather I wish I was 60 maybe 70
because I am no scientist I’m not a
psychologist I just a guy who like to
live life and experience things and then
I try to understand why I react the way
I react so today you will have to trust
my long 27 years career of being a human
if you want to overcome fear you have to
understand what the fear is and as far
as I’m concerned I dissociate two kinds
of fear
the first one of the real fears the
actual ones I won’t talk about them
today but I will just illustrate you
come home from work and the door of your
apartment is already open once you step
into your apartment you can see you have
been rubbed then you will start sweating
your heart will go faster your head will
be all over the place this is real fear
and it makes sense because you can see
the danger
maybe the robbers are still in the
apartment it really makes sense then
there are the fears that shouldn’t be
those are the ones I want to talk about
today let me take an exam another
example of you at home you are in your
sofa watching a horror movie let’s say
the exhaust we all saw that and there is
wind outside it makes noise at some
point your brain will get tricky it will
make you think that the noise come from
the inside and you will experience the
same reactions then the guy that has
been robbed experienced sweating heart
racing head all over the place maybe you
will freeze but if you are watching a
comedy you wouldn’t have those reactions
this is the fear that shouldn’t be so
let me make a point before I continue
I’ll ask you two questions who here is
afraid of spiders it’s a it’s a classic
ones who don’t be afraid don’t be afraid
to raise your hands actually okay so I
can see a few people are afraid of
spiders let me take another classic one
who here is afraid of heights okay so
why is it that he is afraid of spiders
but she isn’t and why is it that she is
afraid of heights but I am NOT and why
is it that I’m not comfortable with
public speaking but the other speakers
it’s actually because we are all humans
we are all different but we are all
humans if I am able to be comfortable
with the situation it means that anybody
can be comfortable with the same
situation if he has the right tools and
the right mindset going into that
situation now if you want to really
overcome your fear you first have to
understand what a fear is and why we
here why we experience those feelings
for me there are three reasons the first
one is really easy to illustrate
remember the first question that I asked
if anybody was scared here a few people
raised their hands who are those people
it’s really easy they are my family my
girlfriend the other speakers and the
organizers well why are they afraid
right now because they care about what
I’m doing here but they have no control
about while I’m doing here they don’t
have any control if I want to go for
striptease I can it’s only up to me and
for the organizers it will be awkward
right you don’t want that that’s what I
thought and if I wanted to do to tell a
lot of dirty jokes it would be a
magazine for my family because they love
me I hope they do at least you do okay
that’s good so the first reason is
because is when you don’t have control
of over a situation you might experience
fear the second reason is what I call
the unknown situations all your first
times when you have a first time you
don’t know what you are getting into and
that creates doubt and doubt leads to
fear let me take an example that we all
know the first time that you had a job
interview the first time that you had a
job interview you were questioning
questioning yourself before going into
it what are we going to
the questions who is going to interview
me and that creates a scary feeling
before you get into the job interview
then during the interview you will also
be questioning yourself other liking me
are they willing to see me again this is
fear but if you take the example of
someone who is 50 years old and who has
been to I don’t know 30 jobs interview
that he’ll still have the same feeling
than the first time no because he knows
what he is getting into those two
reasons can be combined or only one of
them is enough to experience fear the
rest reason is exaggeration we have a
man efficient brain our brain is
brilliant it can take a situation add a
few facts add a few conditions mix it
all together and emulate the future and
it’s great usually but sometimes
especially when you are afraid of
something it gets tricky
it gets really negative you will start
to imagine the Ross case scenario
actually you will even imagine a
scenario that is worse than the rusty
scenario that is possible and because
you can imagine it because you can
visualize it you make it real and
because you make it real you make it
very likely to happen even if it’s
really unlikely or impossible and those
are the reasons the three reasons we
experience fear we all have that one
friend that imagine you are to barbecue
sitting enjoying the Sun enjoying the
food enjoying your friends and at some
point the guy will just jump out of his
chair and doing a kind of tectonic dance
and you will not understand what he is
doing
until you realize there is a small be
near the table yeah we we all know that
guy or that girl what’s the worst that
can happen that person is not allergic
so he can get stung it hurts for a few
seconds maybe it’s itchy for a few
minutes then he can still enjoy the
barbecue and two days later there was no
marking but he’s in
his mind it’s really dangerous if he
gets stung and it’s going to happen for
the past six seven years I’ve been
through a lot of barbecues with a lot of
friends and none of us has been bitten a
Stang sorry it’s not likely and it’s not
really dangerous but his brain makes him
afraid of me now that we understand why
we have fears we can work on tools to
overcome them I have three tools three
reasons we here three tools to use the
first one is to go gradually to go step
by step overcoming a fear doesn’t come
overnight you have to do it slowly for
instance for all the people here who are
afraid of heights
don’t do what you also undo this video
you know the guys who go up on
skyscraper start working on the edge
doing a handstand maybe hanging
themselves with one hands of course
because the other has the GoPro to take
a selfie don’t do that as the first step
actually don’t do that ever know if you
want to overcome that fear the first
time might be to go to a funfair
with a few friends your witch friend
it’s a fun fair it’s fun and then you go
on the big wheel it’s safe and that
argument leads me to my second point
safe a trusted environment now I will
use an example that’s happened to me the
first time I had to do a sparring in the
boxing training aspiring is actually
when you simulate a fight we don’t need
another guy the first time I did it it
wasn’t against Mike Tyson who had the
instruction to put my head out of my
body if it was I would have been scared
for my life
I would have never did do a sparring I
would have never loved boxing nor MMA no
the first time I did it it was it was
with a friend of mine who I knew was a
beginner who I knew wasn’t going to
knock me out and who I knew wasn’t going
to try to hurt me I felt in a trusting
environment and it really helps the
process to take the first step to
overcome my fear of being hit in the
beautiful face
the last point is to counter when your
brain gets tricky it’s what I call the
rationalization you have to take a few
seconds maybe a couple of minutes to
focus on the positive you have to
realize that even the worst case
scenario that can happen is actually
something positive on the long-term we
have all had bad experiences on in our
life but those bad experience after a
while it becomes lessons experience it’s
always something positive and you have
to focus to keep focusing on that every
situation you can get into can be
positive now let me ask you a few
questions
is it because you are afraid of spiders
that you shouldn’t go for a jungle trek
it’s very nice to do jungle trek is it
because you’re afraid of heights that
you should never experience parachute
jump
it’s nice as well is it because you are
afraid of failure that you should never
try to run your own company and that’s
actually something for me three weeks
ago I decided to quit my job and I liked
it I really liked my job it’s not that I
hate it but at some point I realized
that it was the only thing keeping me
away from following my dream which you
can guess is leave make a living out of
mixed martial arts I decided to leave my
job because I was afraid of failure and
my job was the only thing safe in my
life and today I feel really happy about
that decision really really happy now I
want to thank you all for being here
because thanks to you guys today I
overcame one of my biggest fear until
today talking public in English which is
not my native language and I wish I did
enough to push you to overcome your fear
and to give the same meaning to fear
that I give fear f.e.a.r should stand
for face everything and rise thank you [Applause]