[Applause]
pour me pour me pour me a drink 19 hours
in the new record thanks for a week in
pyjamas not I’m making memories everyone
else has done so much today they’re
already come on a double ok climax of
food or a drink you cook like some new
cup right go to the shop get some milk
trust me and no one doing go to the shop
get some milk
look we do stop it how to know oh my god
we’ve got peppermint tea don’t need not
for that right stop thinking just go
sleep sorry
so that sleep on the loo they’re still
thinking go to sleep pour me pour me you
just witnessed a whistle-stop floor is
day in the life of our brains when we
were at eleven one of us self-medicated
the other couldn’t leave the house I was
an under confident kid not that I let
anyone know as far as I was concerned
shyness would make me a target and I was
already enough of one of those I grew up
in the kind of village where everyone
knows everyone Wicked’s
lovely except the cones which as people
walk by and everyone turns to look at
the door when somebody walks into the
pub friends are greeted with and phones
when it’s there that lasted a little too
long before normal service
when I moved their age for the other
kids asked me if I was the new black
family I did not know if I was the new
black family or not but apparently they
all did have some routines and in
tutorial as a backing vocalist suddenly
it’s seen being the token non white girl
had its pros and I would predict myself
around stage with ego fiend rock bands
singing at the top of my lungs two
screaming fans and then live it up on
the free booze afterwards when it all
ended though it became almost impossible
to function lining up my thoughts for
long enough to focus on one and act on
it was a constant battle one that I lost
more often than not stopping the kibbutz
cooking a meal or even making a poverty
became insurmountable challenges and
making my way out of the house was just
torturous I always felt like they didn’t
fit in whatever fitting it needs now the
killer went to three different primary
schools never quite sticking around long
enough to find my feet
I meant always wanting to be Sarah
éclairs rather than at Narnia or a
Nadine that no one can pronounce
meanwhile at home there were fireworks
being Christmas Day arguments run amok
and so I withdrew by hiding in my
bedroom and heightening myself to avoid
the conflict but the more I drew even
more I lost my voice and by the time I
had secondary school I was a really easy
target for bullies because I have a bit
back i no one had ever taught me healthy
coping mechanisms so I learned unhealthy
ones for myself my teens are blare of
cheap vulgar scars and said bones how
much Holy Grail that gave me the
identity I craved and followed me to
Union throughout my 20s I was magnet
party at the fun one but lonely to the
bone waking up on my own would sink in
my hair wings that needed hospital
attention and the even thicker cloud of
nothingness than before I started
drinking I haven’t even heard that
mental health that alone no has a coffin
line for those of you wondering who we
are I’m Grace and I’m Nadia and we have
baby together
it completely change our lives and we
definitely get a lot less sleep than we
used to do but I’m going to have any
other way it’s called the self esteem
team and it’s taken us from upcoming
yeah we didn’t know where that was
either so you don’t be to Shanghai and
now to worry and we’ve talked to young
people about mental health body image
exam stress coupling to understand that
brings a lot better we like to think of
ourselves as the translators if you like
taking the knowledge from the experts we
work with to the people that need it
most
hopefully so they won’t have to go
through what we did when we were younger
on our journey we have realized that
everyone is looking for the answer how
can I be happy how can I be successful
and how can I make sure everyone likes
me and as soon as I realize this you
start seeing it everywhere how can I
make more money without having to take
pickup how can I see my friends and
family more without having to work
harder and how can I lose weight so they
eat not exercise and the world we’re all
looking for the answer but more than
that we’re looking for a
one-size-fits-all solution and we don’t
go you we’re looking for that to you
that’s how we ended up with these
t-shirts that don’t really fit you know
their shops prospering in society right
now making clothes of exactly the same
size so now it’s looking to shop ABC
let’s call them long dress spots and
Mensa bottom shop making clothes with
similar sizes but individual shops
making clothes of exactly the same size
across all their Styles that is despite
being more diverse in shape and size
than we
has been take the tallest person roaming
the planet right now they are eight foot
one and smallest 54 centimeters now I
know the clothes are made between sizes
16 XL and to excess maybe even smaller
but the fact that those cookie cutter
brands are growing now means that we’re
chasing that one-size-fits-all and it’s
not just clothes either take education
for example where one size fits all is
thrust upon us that means so much about
you to be droughts or potentially squash
to meet that one size demanded by
examples schools universities jobs
promotions dust it enables to get by and
is that really the point of Education
getting by classic education it didn’t
suit Richard Branson Lady Gaga Ellen
DeGeneres Mark Zuckerberg Steve Jobs
Coco Chanel Russell Simmons or Oprah
Oprah now they are all dropouts who
managed to break the mold in order to
harness their true potential
I’m not saying that you should pack up
your things walk out of the study halls
within the bird at your features you go
but wouldn’t it be incredible it’s
education could mold to fit our quirks
and help us tap into more of our
potential if that week a ritual I
probably first thing what president
right now yeah insomnia paranoia
hypothermia hallucination and
cyclothymic tendencies alcoholism
depression self-harm OCD disordered
eating I’m sleep-deprived as walking
zombie thing I know everyone’s talking
about me and not because they care comp
outside it’s too easy I can’t think I
can’t see what the hell did I do last
night I think we don’t never think the
last thing I remember scent of those who
want to I should stay in this place
needs sorting out storage there’s no
room for cupboards so shelves I’ll have
to be shelves I remember John tell me
about his wife jack and I hear delayed
Michelle
today Tara she tried to reach my hand on
the table no right okay well where’s the
drill I know the holes in anyway best
mayor work ten day from PJ’s new record
why do I still feel so lonely men and
their ivory ranges I haven’t seen you in
ages
just in how you walk just can out a lot
I’m struggling
the doctors refer me though they put me
on the waiting list it’s six weeks of
CBT the reason we’re putting one size
fits all under the microscope is because
it’s not just education and fashion
where this might cause problems the
generations the mental health one size
fits all used to be electroconvulsive
therapy then we institutionalize people
then when you’ve got Prozac now we have
CBT cognitive behavioral therapy now
we’re not saying any of these are
inherently bad or wrong but we do
question whether any of them can be
right for everybody especially when
neuroscientists are still trying to put
their finger on what causes depression
and exactly how it might affect himself
for example our mate Paul Fletcher
absolutely boss and Cambridge professor
so the depression isn’t necessarily one
illness but rather a collection of
different conditions and those
conditions can happen naturally by
things like hormonal changes or they
have them from different triggers such
as staying up all night making non PG
dreams losing a friend grandparent in
Cedarburg just having a bad day on top
of that science is starting to see a
correlation between some types of
depression and changes in the immune
system so getting a cold
you might make you more susceptible to
an episode of depression
so the depression might become more
susceptible to getting a cold and the
other reason one-size-fits-all treatment
is fashionable because you can never
quite attach the mental health issue
from the person or their personality for
example my version of not quite right is
going to be different from yours mental
illnesses are just a series of
experiences and behaviors that overlap
so they’re going to be different for
everybody when somebody’s asked you what
you’ve got to be depressed about or you
don’t look depressed they’re reading
from their one book not yours
so in our attempt to silence or cure the
black dog we cobbled together coping
strategies that we’ve seen other people
employed without ever really knowing why
we feel the way we feel and the last
reaching for the black sambuca might
ease your social anxiety it’s also
likely to trigger further episodes of
depression and whilst locking yourself
inside because the outside feels
overwhelming might make you feel more in
control in the moment it’s also going to
detach it from reality but the truth is
whilst I present medication that saving
my life I haven’t touched it in all of
mine and while I’ve spoken to therapist
it was staying home trying to a friends
that truly helped whereas I made home
solitary confinement so having to leave
to go see a therapist is the thing that
evening so in the spirit of challenging
one-size-fits-all we’re giving you a 5
for 1 offer that’s right we challenge
you to confront the 5 things that all
humans need to be loved to belong to be
heard to have meaning and purpose and to
achieve so let’s start with two beloved
you may feel unloved so people might be
showing love in ways that you can’t
receive it we all give and receive love
in different ways some people buy gifts
on
spend time and some people can’t keep
their hands off you take me for example
I was in a relationship why we looked in
different ways last Christmas I spent
hours slaving away making jams and
chutneys for a Christmas hamper and when
my then partner unwrapped it the look of
disappointment was etched all over his
face he felt like I didn’t care the
trouble though is that he receives love
with a price tag and I give love with a
time tag there are and I love them we
always come out heart-shaped box it
comes in dragging heaps of pieces to
belong remember when I said we didn’t
feel like I ever fit in
I was always waiting for someone to
invite me into their circle or tell me I
was wanted and was only flipping this
toxic perception onyx tears that I began
to see belonging can actually come from
the inside not just the outside and this
gave me the power to connect if you
subcontract your worth to external
things whether a grade or a text the
number of lights on your last selfie or
whether other people like you you not
only knew that being the power to
validate you or you also give them a
power to take it away when the power
sits with you you for anyone remember
you don’t have to be the same to belong
it’s our differences that help us
connect to be heard from one way tiny
we’re told that if there’s a problem
tell somebody about it
except no one tells you exactly how you
might go about doing that when I’m
having an episode of depression or mania
the last thing I want to do is talk to
somebody and that might be because I’m
too busy enjoying the frenzy or because
I don’t want to be the person that sucks
the fun out of the room but either way
I’m not communicating verbally so
nowadays I know that my voice can always
be heard through music dance and paint
and I am never scared to express myself
in those ways so remember communication
you always have to be verbal it’s what
you’re lending not have event to have
meaning and purpose so apart from maybe
Olympic athletes we always what
to succeed but never have to fail
we lured keeneland forever chasing their
tangible rewards can hang on the wall
seeing the bank or post on social media
and then the professor mentor public
speaking I had to do six back-to-back
talks in a school and after the first
one burst into tears in the toilet
coming down what I perceived to be an
absolute flop of a lesson convinced the
other fiber than a nosedive to the idea
that failure became my greatest teacher
and now I’m group myself in the moment
and don’t worry about success or failure
that’s one thing that hasn’t even
happened yet
remember it really is about the journey
not just the destination and to achieve
if there’s one thing that we disagree on
it’s to do with nads love them she makes
them daily just so she can cross things
up and I hate them I feel restricted by
the pressure of having to fall in line
that and I lose sight of the thing that
I’m actually working towards you might
surprise yourself if you’re able to take
your foot off the gas and just roll with
it so remember it’s America not a sprint
it’s okay the only thing you achieve
that day is making a cup of tea and if
you’re able to confront those things
it’s so much easier to see what’s
missing you’ll stop reaching for the one
size that fits everybody else and start
reaching for the size or sizes that fit
you
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
you
[Applause]
pour me pour me pour me a drink 19 hours
in the new record thanks for a week in
pyjamas not I’m making memories everyone
else has done so much today they’re
already come on a double ok climax of
food or a drink you cook like some new
cup right go to the shop get some milk
trust me and no one doing go to the shop
get some milk
look we do stop it how to know oh my god
we’ve got peppermint tea don’t need not
for that right stop thinking just go
sleep sorry
so that sleep on the loo they’re still
thinking go to sleep pour me pour me you
just witnessed a whistle-stop floor is
day in the life of our brains when we
were at eleven one of us self-medicated
the other couldn’t leave the house I was
an under confident kid not that I let
anyone know as far as I was concerned
shyness would make me a target and I was
already enough of one of those I grew up
in the kind of village where everyone
knows everyone Wicked’s
lovely except the cones which as people
walk by and everyone turns to look at
the door when somebody walks into the
pub friends are greeted with and phones
when it’s there that lasted a little too
long before normal service
when I moved their age for the other
kids asked me if I was the new black
family I did not know if I was the new
black family or not but apparently they
all did have some routines and in
tutorial as a backing vocalist suddenly
it’s seen being the token non white girl
had its pros and I would predict myself
around stage with ego fiend rock bands
singing at the top of my lungs two
screaming fans and then live it up on
the free booze afterwards when it all
ended though it became almost impossible
to function lining up my thoughts for
long enough to focus on one and act on
it was a constant battle one that I lost
more often than not stopping the kibbutz
cooking a meal or even making a poverty
became insurmountable challenges and
making my way out of the house was just
torturous I always felt like they didn’t
fit in whatever fitting it needs now the
killer went to three different primary
schools never quite sticking around long
enough to find my feet
I meant always wanting to be Sarah
éclairs rather than at Narnia or a
Nadine that no one can pronounce
meanwhile at home there were fireworks
being Christmas Day arguments run amok
and so I withdrew by hiding in my
bedroom and heightening myself to avoid
the conflict but the more I drew even
more I lost my voice and by the time I
had secondary school I was a really easy
target for bullies because I have a bit
back i no one had ever taught me healthy
coping mechanisms so I learned unhealthy
ones for myself my teens are blare of
cheap vulgar scars and said bones how
much Holy Grail that gave me the
identity I craved and followed me to
Union throughout my 20s I was magnet
party at the fun one but lonely to the
bone waking up on my own would sink in
my hair wings that needed hospital
attention and the even thicker cloud of
nothingness than before I started
drinking I haven’t even heard that
mental health that alone no has a coffin
line for those of you wondering who we
are I’m Grace and I’m Nadia and we have
baby together
it completely change our lives and we
definitely get a lot less sleep than we
used to do but I’m going to have any
other way it’s called the self esteem
team and it’s taken us from upcoming
yeah we didn’t know where that was
either so you don’t be to Shanghai and
now to worry and we’ve talked to young
people about mental health body image
exam stress coupling to understand that
brings a lot better we like to think of
ourselves as the translators if you like
taking the knowledge from the experts we
work with to the people that need it
most
hopefully so they won’t have to go
through what we did when we were younger
on our journey we have realized that
everyone is looking for the answer how
can I be happy how can I be successful
and how can I make sure everyone likes
me and as soon as I realize this you
start seeing it everywhere how can I
make more money without having to take
pickup how can I see my friends and
family more without having to work
harder and how can I lose weight so they
eat not exercise and the world we’re all
looking for the answer but more than
that we’re looking for a
one-size-fits-all solution and we don’t
go you we’re looking for that to you
that’s how we ended up with these
t-shirts that don’t really fit you know
their shops prospering in society right
now making clothes of exactly the same
size so now it’s looking to shop ABC
let’s call them long dress spots and
Mensa bottom shop making clothes with
similar sizes but individual shops
making clothes of exactly the same size
across all their Styles that is despite
being more diverse in shape and size
than we
has been take the tallest person roaming
the planet right now they are eight foot
one and smallest 54 centimeters now I
know the clothes are made between sizes
16 XL and to excess maybe even smaller
but the fact that those cookie cutter
brands are growing now means that we’re
chasing that one-size-fits-all and it’s
not just clothes either take education
for example where one size fits all is
thrust upon us that means so much about
you to be droughts or potentially squash
to meet that one size demanded by
examples schools universities jobs
promotions dust it enables to get by and
is that really the point of Education
getting by classic education it didn’t
suit Richard Branson Lady Gaga Ellen
DeGeneres Mark Zuckerberg Steve Jobs
Coco Chanel Russell Simmons or Oprah
Oprah now they are all dropouts who
managed to break the mold in order to
harness their true potential
I’m not saying that you should pack up
your things walk out of the study halls
within the bird at your features you go
but wouldn’t it be incredible it’s
education could mold to fit our quirks
and help us tap into more of our
potential if that week a ritual I
probably first thing what president
right now yeah insomnia paranoia
hypothermia hallucination and
cyclothymic tendencies alcoholism
depression self-harm OCD disordered
eating I’m sleep-deprived as walking
zombie thing I know everyone’s talking
about me and not because they care comp
outside it’s too easy I can’t think I
can’t see what the hell did I do last
night I think we don’t never think the
last thing I remember scent of those who
want to I should stay in this place
needs sorting out storage there’s no
room for cupboards so shelves I’ll have
to be shelves I remember John tell me
about his wife jack and I hear delayed
Michelle
today Tara she tried to reach my hand on
the table no right okay well where’s the
drill I know the holes in anyway best
mayor work ten day from PJ’s new record
why do I still feel so lonely men and
their ivory ranges I haven’t seen you in
ages
just in how you walk just can out a lot
I’m struggling
the doctors refer me though they put me
on the waiting list it’s six weeks of
CBT the reason we’re putting one size
fits all under the microscope is because
it’s not just education and fashion
where this might cause problems the
generations the mental health one size
fits all used to be electroconvulsive
therapy then we institutionalize people
then when you’ve got Prozac now we have
CBT cognitive behavioral therapy now
we’re not saying any of these are
inherently bad or wrong but we do
question whether any of them can be
right for everybody especially when
neuroscientists are still trying to put
their finger on what causes depression
and exactly how it might affect himself
for example our mate Paul Fletcher
absolutely boss and Cambridge professor
so the depression isn’t necessarily one
illness but rather a collection of
different conditions and those
conditions can happen naturally by
things like hormonal changes or they
have them from different triggers such
as staying up all night making non PG
dreams losing a friend grandparent in
Cedarburg just having a bad day on top
of that science is starting to see a
correlation between some types of
depression and changes in the immune
system so getting a cold
you might make you more susceptible to
an episode of depression
so the depression might become more
susceptible to getting a cold and the
other reason one-size-fits-all treatment
is fashionable because you can never
quite attach the mental health issue
from the person or their personality for
example my version of not quite right is
going to be different from yours mental
illnesses are just a series of
experiences and behaviors that overlap
so they’re going to be different for
everybody when somebody’s asked you what
you’ve got to be depressed about or you
don’t look depressed they’re reading
from their one book not yours
so in our attempt to silence or cure the
black dog we cobbled together coping
strategies that we’ve seen other people
employed without ever really knowing why
we feel the way we feel and the last
reaching for the black sambuca might
ease your social anxiety it’s also
likely to trigger further episodes of
depression and whilst locking yourself
inside because the outside feels
overwhelming might make you feel more in
control in the moment it’s also going to
detach it from reality but the truth is
whilst I present medication that saving
my life I haven’t touched it in all of
mine and while I’ve spoken to therapist
it was staying home trying to a friends
that truly helped whereas I made home
solitary confinement so having to leave
to go see a therapist is the thing that
evening so in the spirit of challenging
one-size-fits-all we’re giving you a 5
for 1 offer that’s right we challenge
you to confront the 5 things that all
humans need to be loved to belong to be
heard to have meaning and purpose and to
achieve so let’s start with two beloved
you may feel unloved so people might be
showing love in ways that you can’t
receive it we all give and receive love
in different ways some people buy gifts
on
spend time and some people can’t keep
their hands off you take me for example
I was in a relationship why we looked in
different ways last Christmas I spent
hours slaving away making jams and
chutneys for a Christmas hamper and when
my then partner unwrapped it the look of
disappointment was etched all over his
face he felt like I didn’t care the
trouble though is that he receives love
with a price tag and I give love with a
time tag there are and I love them we
always come out heart-shaped box it
comes in dragging heaps of pieces to
belong remember when I said we didn’t
feel like I ever fit in
I was always waiting for someone to
invite me into their circle or tell me I
was wanted and was only flipping this
toxic perception onyx tears that I began
to see belonging can actually come from
the inside not just the outside and this
gave me the power to connect if you
subcontract your worth to external
things whether a grade or a text the
number of lights on your last selfie or
whether other people like you you not
only knew that being the power to
validate you or you also give them a
power to take it away when the power
sits with you you for anyone remember
you don’t have to be the same to belong
it’s our differences that help us
connect to be heard from one way tiny
we’re told that if there’s a problem
tell somebody about it
except no one tells you exactly how you
might go about doing that when I’m
having an episode of depression or mania
the last thing I want to do is talk to
somebody and that might be because I’m
too busy enjoying the frenzy or because
I don’t want to be the person that sucks
the fun out of the room but either way
I’m not communicating verbally so
nowadays I know that my voice can always
be heard through music dance and paint
and I am never scared to express myself
in those ways so remember communication
you always have to be verbal it’s what
you’re lending not have event to have
meaning and purpose so apart from maybe
Olympic athletes we always what
to succeed but never have to fail
we lured keeneland forever chasing their
tangible rewards can hang on the wall
seeing the bank or post on social media
and then the professor mentor public
speaking I had to do six back-to-back
talks in a school and after the first
one burst into tears in the toilet
coming down what I perceived to be an
absolute flop of a lesson convinced the
other fiber than a nosedive to the idea
that failure became my greatest teacher
and now I’m group myself in the moment
and don’t worry about success or failure
that’s one thing that hasn’t even
happened yet
remember it really is about the journey
not just the destination and to achieve
if there’s one thing that we disagree on
it’s to do with nads love them she makes
them daily just so she can cross things
up and I hate them I feel restricted by
the pressure of having to fall in line
that and I lose sight of the thing that
I’m actually working towards you might
surprise yourself if you’re able to take
your foot off the gas and just roll with
it so remember it’s America not a sprint
it’s okay the only thing you achieve
that day is making a cup of tea and if
you’re able to confront those things
it’s so much easier to see what’s
missing you’ll stop reaching for the one
size that fits everybody else and start
reaching for the size or sizes that fit
you
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
you
[Applause]
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