good morning thank you so much for
inviting me first of all I want to say
I’ve just come from Delhi and there was
a lot of small over there you know
what’s happening in the air quality and
I was just thinking we have such big
problems in the world and I just don’t
know how we’re gonna solve it and then I
was called by you guys to do this
talking I don’t know you know 14 year
olds organizing a TED talk that’s
amazing you know so I am very optimistic
and hopeful about what is possible and I
just want to say thank you I’m so
impressed with a is all the core team
and the volunteers and the parents
involved in making this happen so I
really I just wanted to say that if I
start the work I do is executive
coaching I work with senior and high
potential managers to help them reach
their full potential and a lot of what I
do is kind of sit with them and identify
what are the some of the beliefs and
behaviors that are holding them back
from really reaching their full
potential in most cases what I find is
that they hold on a two piece of
management wisdom and when you really
put the magnifying glass on that piece
of management wisdom it turns out to be
a myth right and so I’m gonna just give
a few illustrative examples of some of
these management myths and then take it
to a broader point about how you think
twice and get you know well a much
broader perspective or things before you
make a decision so a lot of these
understandings that I got was actually
not from the field of management or even
psychology it was from the area of
quantum mechanics right that’s what I
studied when I was in college and this
statement really intrigued me you know
there are trivial truths and there are
great truths the opposite of a trivial
truth is plainly false and the opposite
of a great truth is also true and this
was said by a gentleman called Niels
Bohr he was a Nobel Prize winning
physicist in 1922 and it really
intrigued me I said what does that mean
you know what does that mean and and as
I started studying it I started
understanding a little bit you know the
opposite of a trivial truth is plainly
false oh if you said you know two plus
two is equal to four if you said well no
two plus two is not equal to four that’s
clearly false oh if you said the capital
of India is Delhi the opposite of that
which is you know say capital of India’s
Mumbai is clearly false so the opposite
of a trivial truth
is clearly false but the opposite of a
great truth is also true what does that
mean you know you could say something
like you know money makes the world go
around or you could say love makes the
world go around and you know there’s
some kind of validity to both even
though they seem to be saying the
opposite sort of thing and and I started
hunting for statements like this hunting
for statements are paradoxical nature so
for example leaders need to trust
themselves and yeah that makes sense you
know leaders need to trust themselves
that makes sense I agree with that
and he said well leaders need to
question their assumptions and you go
yeah you know what I agree with that
leaders need to question their
assumptions but if you really look at it
closely they can’t both be true because
trusting yourself is the opposite of
questioning assumptions trusting your
instinct trusting your judgment is the
opposite of questioning assumption so
they both can’t be true and yet in a way
that both are and I was trying to
understand you know well how do I make
sense of this and I realize the language
is not powerful enough to really
encapsulate you know the complexity of
life itself and so you’re always gonna
get these paradoxes paradoxes and it’s
only when you really understand how they
fit together that you really have wisdom
in the subject right so let me give you
an example of two very common management
myths that I work with with my clients
to kind of overcome first one you know
great managers make the right decisions
right our culture is suffused with
examples of you know prescient people
who made great decisions they knew the
stock market was going to tang they
could see it coming they knew exactly
what the customer wanted so the role of
this fantastic project you have stories
and legends of people with great
judgment who make the right decision and
this is something that a lot of managers
believe so that makes them careful okay
what is the right decision in this
situation what should I do
the DeMuth right so nothing seems to
make sense so what would be the opposite
of this and the DeMuth is the great
managers know there is no right decision
right again there are right answers in
2+2 you know there’s a right answer
wrong answer what’s the capital of India
there’s a right answer wrong answer
but decisions like okay you know I’ve
got a I’ve got one of my subordinates
who’s not performing right now what do I
do should i sack him should I give him a
warning so I coach him
should’ve given more responsibility
should I find him a role that matches
his world should I move him closer to
his hometown clearly the answer is not
clear over here it’s not as simple as
what is 2+2 it’s not clear but I’m gonna
go further it’s not just that it’s not
clear what the right answer is there is
no right answer and we try and explain
why right see if you make a decision and
you get the result you’re looking for
you make a decision you get the result
you’re looking for does that mean you
made the right decision
not necessarily you see you don’t know
if the other decision that you could
have made might have had an even better
result and if you make a decision and
you do not get the result you want you
know it’s a disaster does that mean you
made the wrong decision no not
necessarily because the other decision
might have been even worse and you can
never really know that the only way you
can isolate you know the impact of that
specific decision is you have one
universe you make one decision you have
another parallel universe you make the
other decision everything else is the
same and then you see which one works
out better only then can you say which
one was better
which one was worse but that option is
never available to you so the only thing
that is really available to is not what
is the right decision it’s what is my
decision you know what are the
principles and priorities and the values
and you know things on the basis of
which I’m gonna make the decision I
don’t know what’s gonna happen you never
will right but a lot of people start
really obsessing about now their two
problems that happen when you think
there is a right decision right managers
face two problems when they think there
is one right decision you see if you
think there is a right decision and I
know what the right decision is then
what happens is you stop listening to
other people you become arrogant you
become overconfident you make hasty
decision because there is a right
decision and I know what it is right
that’s one management problem that
people have the other one is there is a
right decision and I don’t know what it
is and quite often when people start
their careers they think you lied I
can’t see it I might say something wrong
I’m not sure the right answer is they
become tentative they become confused
they become paralyzed because there is a
right answer and I don’t know what is
they can’t even say this is what I feel
this is what I think you know this is
what I’m gonna do because what is the
right answer I don’t know
right and so you can either become
overconfident or you can paralyze and
now one of the things that happens also
if you think there’s one right decision
is you get filled with regret because
you look back at decisions you made in
the past and say I should have done
something different as if there was a
right thing to do and I did not do it so
I did something wrong so I’m filled with
regret but you see if you saw me looking
at a video of myself learning to walk as
a baby so there’s baby carnage and he’s
learning to walk and he’s falling and
he’s getting up and he’s falling and I’m
looking at a baby are you stupid baby
how do you moron you keep falling what a
moron that baby is right if he looked at
me go
okay cut you’ve clearly lost your mind
well you see a lot of us do that
when we say I should have done that
anytime you say I should have you’re
basically doing the same thing as
abusing that baby version of yourself
because you’re saying that the learning
that I got from that experience I should
have had before the experience that led
to that learning that’s impossible
and yet every time you say I should have
that’s what you’re implying you should
have you know you you never make the
wrong decision in the past because you
make the best choice available to you
given what you know at that time given
your life experience and if you keep
looking back and saying oh you know I
made the wrong decision I should have
done this I should have done this I
should have done this then when you’re
making a decision today well how can you
trust yourself because like I made so
many wrong decisions how can I know if
this one is going to be right and so
another way of singing I didn’t make any
wrong decisions I made the decision that
time that I felt the best given what I
knew and I can do the same thing now
right I’ll make a decision and you know
it’ll work or it won’t work and I look
at the result and I learn from that and
I’ll keep going but if I say that there
was a right decision you’re gonna
actually lose your confidence and be
filled with regret right now let me give
you an example of somebody who really
understood this right it’s a good job so
let’s talk about Gandhi and he’s one of
my heroes and when he was doing what he
was doing at the time of the
independence struggle there were a lot
of people who had opinions about what he
was doing the British will say he’s an
emotional blackmailer you know all this
fasting and stuff it’s not the way you
do business he’s going to see our queen
and dressed like this etc there will be
some Hindus who will say he’s against us
he’s a page appeasing the Muslims
there’ll be some Muslims you will say he
against us he’s not giving us a separate
state no these some Dalits who will say
he’s against us he’s not burning the
money Smith he like embed they’ll be
capitalist who will say he’s against us
because he’s thinking all this
Hoddy voddy you know no big industries
that’s not what’s good for India
there’ll be some nationals who will say
they are the nirvana nothing is gonna
happen you need guns and stuff to get
rid of the British his wife is saying
you’re making me clean the toilet his
son says you love everybody except me
becomes an alcoholic everybody has got a
point of view about what he’s doing now
if he tries to please every single
stakeholder get everybody to agree with
his dish in that everybody says it’s
right what’s gonna happen right nothing
nothing so he’s got to make a decision
saying you know I understand all the
different perspectives I understand on
not everybody is gonna say this is the
right thing to do and make a decision
based on my values my priorities and I
don’t know what’s gonna happen I listen
I hear and then I make a decision we’ll
see what happens right now today also if
you look at the political leaders you
know whether you’re a fan of mr. moody
or Rahul Gandhi okay eval you know
whoever you admire somebody is out there
criticizing every single thing about
them face family education policies the
way they speak everything about them
will be criticized and the only way you
can avoid people saying no you did
something wrong the only way you can
avoid that is be invisible right even if
you don’t do something people who say
he’s not doing anything so only by being
insignificant
irrelevant invisible are you going to
avoid being judged right so rather than
say okay what is the right answer
and live in a space of paralysis and
confusion you know you can make a
decision see the thing about the word
decide right the word Latin word side it
means to kill right it’s a genocide
homicide in a suicide it said it all
means to kill something when you decide
something what you’re really saying is I
kill all the other options and I pick
one right and people don’t want to
decide because their fate if I pick one
and I kill all the other options what
happens if this decision is not the
right one and so you have a choice
either take the risk of you know
succeeding or failing etc or you remain
in confusion right you remain in
confusion and another word for confusion
is basically saying I refuse to make a
decision right uncertainty will always
be there you don’t know what’s gonna
happen once you make the decision you
[Music]
the question happiness like this the
next man is wearing your life a living
with regret
well you said I should have that living
a worldly think there is a right now so
that was the right answer
and where are you kind of like pushing
off the decision to confuse detective
you’ve got short as if there’s a right
answer and that’s way of dumping
yourself you know this is my house
that’s opposed personally said in myth
that’s kind of related to this second it
is great managers never miss their
targets right 100% record I always
achieve our targets etc it’s something
that really pervades the matter because
if I make this a target oh my god this
the end of the world so we will try to
make safe and are they gonna go hungry
there’s another movie to 1990 movie you
like it and then you’re trying to see
that same target so the opposite of this
DeMuth right the only manages all the
targets are one who plays say she is
very easy for such a thing look at the
score essentially every single time all
he has to do is
second division primality that’s very
easy for him to see see every single
time right now are there times when such
a movie gets offered up further up but
when he gets out is he saying I’m duck a
lot of people do see if I say you’re all
sitting on chairs
probably if I said you are the chairs
does that make sense
I lost my mind but that’s what a lot of
people do it because they see if I
succeed
it means I am success and if I fail I’m
a failure and so they lost the
distinction between themselves and their
results is like I produce results in
Psych Taylor and doesn’t mean I am a
failure that’s like Samantha check if
you’ve lost the distinction and so the
great champions really understand right
see what if I made one like in Grand
Slam finals the most angry the next test
they also lost 10 grand
that’s the second most ethically is look
you cannot win unless you won’t be
playing safe now if you think you
understand money there’s every single
business is launched it is like every
times to see not necessary they will be
admissible in a lot of big nose
every single form of Samsung many
launches that a success something blew
up right what happens is is that when
these guys failure and if you start
thinking this with it if I feel it means
have a faded if I end up safe first
artist and you never really know how far
you could have gone what you could have
cheap again if you look at Gandhi you
know did he achieve all the objectives
he set out you know he wanted India to
remain undivided did he succeed he
wanted to end the you know Hindu Muslim
conflict did he succeed he wanted to end
caste discrimination did he succeed now
you know many cases you would say he
failed does that mean he’s a failure not
necessarily because you know who you are
is different from your results it’s very
different and when you see that you’ll
be more willing to take risks rather
than playing safe also sometimes what
happens if you think I am my result if
you don’t produce the result you say no
no no no that’s not me that’s happened
that happened you blame somebody else
for that result you blame the
circumstances you say I can’t do it etc
instead of saying what do I need to do
right so this is another big myth that
very successful managers really struggle
with because they’ve got such a track
record of succeeding they’re like I
don’t want to take on any challenges
where I might fail so here’s the
question I have for you guys to think
about where in your life are you playing
safe where in your life are you saying
no I don’t want to do that that’s too
risky
I’m it might not work and so you will
never really know what you’re fully
capable of if you’re not failing so if
you want to increase your success rate
you want to double your failure in I
have that question for you where in your
life are you playing safe right I’m
gonna skip the next so here’s the this
is a broader point I make you know I’m
just giving two examples of myths that
people have and you know the opposite is
also true so it’s not that the myth is
wrong it’s true and the opposite is also
true and the point I’m making is
something a lot a larger point that you
know the subject is more complex than it
looks right and so I’m gonna give you a
model then you can bust any myths
anytime somebody gives gallon you can
say okay let me really think about that
and break it
and get a wider perspective of this this
is a model that’s called reflective
equilibrium was made by a philosopher
called John John Rawls and it’ll bust
any myth
so here the steps let me explain the
steps first and I’ll give you an example
of how to apply it so for example the
first one is when you hear a statement
that sounds right that sounds great that
sounds wise okay the first thing you
want to do is ask yourself in which
situation would this statement be false
where would the statement fail the
second thing you say is think of a
modified statement that would make that
would actually work in that situation
that will actually be true in this
situation right then you say okay where
would this modified situation not be
true the statement would be false and
keep repeating that process until you
feel like you’ve seen the bigger picture
and finally make a decision let me give
you an example of this right so say you
hear somebody saying something like Oh
honesty is the best policy and that
sounds great you know honesty is the
best policy are fantastic I need to do
that right but in which situation would
that be false you know if a terrorist
was holding a gun and saying where’s
your brother hiding would you always be
honest you know if you enable calls you
up and say oh my son is getting married
please come for the wedding would you
say I’m sorry I really don’t like your
son that much I’m not gonna have any you
know probably not so with situation so
you can imagine no there’s some
situations where are there things that
are more important than honesty okay but
in general I want to be honest with
myself maybe right but then you say
other situations where even that
modified statement would be false
where’d make sense to lie to myself and
you see there are sometimes you might
have such a traumatic event in your
childhood that you’re just not ready to
face it okay so let me lie to myself
until I’m ready to face it maybe that’s
true right and so you keep going and the
phrase becomes more in complex and then
when you finally see the complexity then
you make a decision then you make a
decision right and so if you follow this
process you see that the opposite of any
truth is also true and this is what I
want to leave you with right the good
managers know the right answer and great
managers know in which situation the
Wrights answer is wrong right and that’s
a process that five steps to enlighten
and here’s the question I have for you
guys to think about before I wrap this
up right one what are your great truths
three truths that you’re like I really
believe that that’s like my life is
lived around that – what would be the
opposite of those great truths because
they’re all so true
now I’m not saying if you say you know
family is the most important thing the
opposite of that is not necessarily
family is unimportant let me sell them
to slavery right the opposite that might
be it’s important for me to spend time
on myself it might be that that’s the
opposite for you right so what are the
opposite of those three great truths
that you live your life by and the third
question is if you could see that both
of these are true both of these
perspectives are true what would that
open up in your life right I’ll leave
you with those questions thank you very
much for inviting me I hope I’ve
thoroughly confused you because you see
the aim of this talk was not to give
clarity it’s not simple you know it’s
more complex and confusion really tells
you that you’re saying I now appreciate
the complexity right so anytime you’re
feeling confused don’t resist it don’t
fight it because you like then simplify
not see the complexity enjoy the
confusion because you’re about to make a
decision about your values when you
realize it’s more complex and in that
you’re defining yourselves thank you
very much
you
inviting me first of all I want to say
I’ve just come from Delhi and there was
a lot of small over there you know
what’s happening in the air quality and
I was just thinking we have such big
problems in the world and I just don’t
know how we’re gonna solve it and then I
was called by you guys to do this
talking I don’t know you know 14 year
olds organizing a TED talk that’s
amazing you know so I am very optimistic
and hopeful about what is possible and I
just want to say thank you I’m so
impressed with a is all the core team
and the volunteers and the parents
involved in making this happen so I
really I just wanted to say that if I
start the work I do is executive
coaching I work with senior and high
potential managers to help them reach
their full potential and a lot of what I
do is kind of sit with them and identify
what are the some of the beliefs and
behaviors that are holding them back
from really reaching their full
potential in most cases what I find is
that they hold on a two piece of
management wisdom and when you really
put the magnifying glass on that piece
of management wisdom it turns out to be
a myth right and so I’m gonna just give
a few illustrative examples of some of
these management myths and then take it
to a broader point about how you think
twice and get you know well a much
broader perspective or things before you
make a decision so a lot of these
understandings that I got was actually
not from the field of management or even
psychology it was from the area of
quantum mechanics right that’s what I
studied when I was in college and this
statement really intrigued me you know
there are trivial truths and there are
great truths the opposite of a trivial
truth is plainly false and the opposite
of a great truth is also true and this
was said by a gentleman called Niels
Bohr he was a Nobel Prize winning
physicist in 1922 and it really
intrigued me I said what does that mean
you know what does that mean and and as
I started studying it I started
understanding a little bit you know the
opposite of a trivial truth is plainly
false oh if you said you know two plus
two is equal to four if you said well no
two plus two is not equal to four that’s
clearly false oh if you said the capital
of India is Delhi the opposite of that
which is you know say capital of India’s
Mumbai is clearly false so the opposite
of a trivial truth
is clearly false but the opposite of a
great truth is also true what does that
mean you know you could say something
like you know money makes the world go
around or you could say love makes the
world go around and you know there’s
some kind of validity to both even
though they seem to be saying the
opposite sort of thing and and I started
hunting for statements like this hunting
for statements are paradoxical nature so
for example leaders need to trust
themselves and yeah that makes sense you
know leaders need to trust themselves
that makes sense I agree with that
and he said well leaders need to
question their assumptions and you go
yeah you know what I agree with that
leaders need to question their
assumptions but if you really look at it
closely they can’t both be true because
trusting yourself is the opposite of
questioning assumptions trusting your
instinct trusting your judgment is the
opposite of questioning assumption so
they both can’t be true and yet in a way
that both are and I was trying to
understand you know well how do I make
sense of this and I realize the language
is not powerful enough to really
encapsulate you know the complexity of
life itself and so you’re always gonna
get these paradoxes paradoxes and it’s
only when you really understand how they
fit together that you really have wisdom
in the subject right so let me give you
an example of two very common management
myths that I work with with my clients
to kind of overcome first one you know
great managers make the right decisions
right our culture is suffused with
examples of you know prescient people
who made great decisions they knew the
stock market was going to tang they
could see it coming they knew exactly
what the customer wanted so the role of
this fantastic project you have stories
and legends of people with great
judgment who make the right decision and
this is something that a lot of managers
believe so that makes them careful okay
what is the right decision in this
situation what should I do
the DeMuth right so nothing seems to
make sense so what would be the opposite
of this and the DeMuth is the great
managers know there is no right decision
right again there are right answers in
2+2 you know there’s a right answer
wrong answer what’s the capital of India
there’s a right answer wrong answer
but decisions like okay you know I’ve
got a I’ve got one of my subordinates
who’s not performing right now what do I
do should i sack him should I give him a
warning so I coach him
should’ve given more responsibility
should I find him a role that matches
his world should I move him closer to
his hometown clearly the answer is not
clear over here it’s not as simple as
what is 2+2 it’s not clear but I’m gonna
go further it’s not just that it’s not
clear what the right answer is there is
no right answer and we try and explain
why right see if you make a decision and
you get the result you’re looking for
you make a decision you get the result
you’re looking for does that mean you
made the right decision
not necessarily you see you don’t know
if the other decision that you could
have made might have had an even better
result and if you make a decision and
you do not get the result you want you
know it’s a disaster does that mean you
made the wrong decision no not
necessarily because the other decision
might have been even worse and you can
never really know that the only way you
can isolate you know the impact of that
specific decision is you have one
universe you make one decision you have
another parallel universe you make the
other decision everything else is the
same and then you see which one works
out better only then can you say which
one was better
which one was worse but that option is
never available to you so the only thing
that is really available to is not what
is the right decision it’s what is my
decision you know what are the
principles and priorities and the values
and you know things on the basis of
which I’m gonna make the decision I
don’t know what’s gonna happen you never
will right but a lot of people start
really obsessing about now their two
problems that happen when you think
there is a right decision right managers
face two problems when they think there
is one right decision you see if you
think there is a right decision and I
know what the right decision is then
what happens is you stop listening to
other people you become arrogant you
become overconfident you make hasty
decision because there is a right
decision and I know what it is right
that’s one management problem that
people have the other one is there is a
right decision and I don’t know what it
is and quite often when people start
their careers they think you lied I
can’t see it I might say something wrong
I’m not sure the right answer is they
become tentative they become confused
they become paralyzed because there is a
right answer and I don’t know what is
they can’t even say this is what I feel
this is what I think you know this is
what I’m gonna do because what is the
right answer I don’t know
right and so you can either become
overconfident or you can paralyze and
now one of the things that happens also
if you think there’s one right decision
is you get filled with regret because
you look back at decisions you made in
the past and say I should have done
something different as if there was a
right thing to do and I did not do it so
I did something wrong so I’m filled with
regret but you see if you saw me looking
at a video of myself learning to walk as
a baby so there’s baby carnage and he’s
learning to walk and he’s falling and
he’s getting up and he’s falling and I’m
looking at a baby are you stupid baby
how do you moron you keep falling what a
moron that baby is right if he looked at
me go
okay cut you’ve clearly lost your mind
well you see a lot of us do that
when we say I should have done that
anytime you say I should have you’re
basically doing the same thing as
abusing that baby version of yourself
because you’re saying that the learning
that I got from that experience I should
have had before the experience that led
to that learning that’s impossible
and yet every time you say I should have
that’s what you’re implying you should
have you know you you never make the
wrong decision in the past because you
make the best choice available to you
given what you know at that time given
your life experience and if you keep
looking back and saying oh you know I
made the wrong decision I should have
done this I should have done this I
should have done this then when you’re
making a decision today well how can you
trust yourself because like I made so
many wrong decisions how can I know if
this one is going to be right and so
another way of singing I didn’t make any
wrong decisions I made the decision that
time that I felt the best given what I
knew and I can do the same thing now
right I’ll make a decision and you know
it’ll work or it won’t work and I look
at the result and I learn from that and
I’ll keep going but if I say that there
was a right decision you’re gonna
actually lose your confidence and be
filled with regret right now let me give
you an example of somebody who really
understood this right it’s a good job so
let’s talk about Gandhi and he’s one of
my heroes and when he was doing what he
was doing at the time of the
independence struggle there were a lot
of people who had opinions about what he
was doing the British will say he’s an
emotional blackmailer you know all this
fasting and stuff it’s not the way you
do business he’s going to see our queen
and dressed like this etc there will be
some Hindus who will say he’s against us
he’s a page appeasing the Muslims
there’ll be some Muslims you will say he
against us he’s not giving us a separate
state no these some Dalits who will say
he’s against us he’s not burning the
money Smith he like embed they’ll be
capitalist who will say he’s against us
because he’s thinking all this
Hoddy voddy you know no big industries
that’s not what’s good for India
there’ll be some nationals who will say
they are the nirvana nothing is gonna
happen you need guns and stuff to get
rid of the British his wife is saying
you’re making me clean the toilet his
son says you love everybody except me
becomes an alcoholic everybody has got a
point of view about what he’s doing now
if he tries to please every single
stakeholder get everybody to agree with
his dish in that everybody says it’s
right what’s gonna happen right nothing
nothing so he’s got to make a decision
saying you know I understand all the
different perspectives I understand on
not everybody is gonna say this is the
right thing to do and make a decision
based on my values my priorities and I
don’t know what’s gonna happen I listen
I hear and then I make a decision we’ll
see what happens right now today also if
you look at the political leaders you
know whether you’re a fan of mr. moody
or Rahul Gandhi okay eval you know
whoever you admire somebody is out there
criticizing every single thing about
them face family education policies the
way they speak everything about them
will be criticized and the only way you
can avoid people saying no you did
something wrong the only way you can
avoid that is be invisible right even if
you don’t do something people who say
he’s not doing anything so only by being
insignificant
irrelevant invisible are you going to
avoid being judged right so rather than
say okay what is the right answer
and live in a space of paralysis and
confusion you know you can make a
decision see the thing about the word
decide right the word Latin word side it
means to kill right it’s a genocide
homicide in a suicide it said it all
means to kill something when you decide
something what you’re really saying is I
kill all the other options and I pick
one right and people don’t want to
decide because their fate if I pick one
and I kill all the other options what
happens if this decision is not the
right one and so you have a choice
either take the risk of you know
succeeding or failing etc or you remain
in confusion right you remain in
confusion and another word for confusion
is basically saying I refuse to make a
decision right uncertainty will always
be there you don’t know what’s gonna
happen once you make the decision you
[Music]
the question happiness like this the
next man is wearing your life a living
with regret
well you said I should have that living
a worldly think there is a right now so
that was the right answer
and where are you kind of like pushing
off the decision to confuse detective
you’ve got short as if there’s a right
answer and that’s way of dumping
yourself you know this is my house
that’s opposed personally said in myth
that’s kind of related to this second it
is great managers never miss their
targets right 100% record I always
achieve our targets etc it’s something
that really pervades the matter because
if I make this a target oh my god this
the end of the world so we will try to
make safe and are they gonna go hungry
there’s another movie to 1990 movie you
like it and then you’re trying to see
that same target so the opposite of this
DeMuth right the only manages all the
targets are one who plays say she is
very easy for such a thing look at the
score essentially every single time all
he has to do is
second division primality that’s very
easy for him to see see every single
time right now are there times when such
a movie gets offered up further up but
when he gets out is he saying I’m duck a
lot of people do see if I say you’re all
sitting on chairs
probably if I said you are the chairs
does that make sense
I lost my mind but that’s what a lot of
people do it because they see if I
succeed
it means I am success and if I fail I’m
a failure and so they lost the
distinction between themselves and their
results is like I produce results in
Psych Taylor and doesn’t mean I am a
failure that’s like Samantha check if
you’ve lost the distinction and so the
great champions really understand right
see what if I made one like in Grand
Slam finals the most angry the next test
they also lost 10 grand
that’s the second most ethically is look
you cannot win unless you won’t be
playing safe now if you think you
understand money there’s every single
business is launched it is like every
times to see not necessary they will be
admissible in a lot of big nose
every single form of Samsung many
launches that a success something blew
up right what happens is is that when
these guys failure and if you start
thinking this with it if I feel it means
have a faded if I end up safe first
artist and you never really know how far
you could have gone what you could have
cheap again if you look at Gandhi you
know did he achieve all the objectives
he set out you know he wanted India to
remain undivided did he succeed he
wanted to end the you know Hindu Muslim
conflict did he succeed he wanted to end
caste discrimination did he succeed now
you know many cases you would say he
failed does that mean he’s a failure not
necessarily because you know who you are
is different from your results it’s very
different and when you see that you’ll
be more willing to take risks rather
than playing safe also sometimes what
happens if you think I am my result if
you don’t produce the result you say no
no no no that’s not me that’s happened
that happened you blame somebody else
for that result you blame the
circumstances you say I can’t do it etc
instead of saying what do I need to do
right so this is another big myth that
very successful managers really struggle
with because they’ve got such a track
record of succeeding they’re like I
don’t want to take on any challenges
where I might fail so here’s the
question I have for you guys to think
about where in your life are you playing
safe where in your life are you saying
no I don’t want to do that that’s too
risky
I’m it might not work and so you will
never really know what you’re fully
capable of if you’re not failing so if
you want to increase your success rate
you want to double your failure in I
have that question for you where in your
life are you playing safe right I’m
gonna skip the next so here’s the this
is a broader point I make you know I’m
just giving two examples of myths that
people have and you know the opposite is
also true so it’s not that the myth is
wrong it’s true and the opposite is also
true and the point I’m making is
something a lot a larger point that you
know the subject is more complex than it
looks right and so I’m gonna give you a
model then you can bust any myths
anytime somebody gives gallon you can
say okay let me really think about that
and break it
and get a wider perspective of this this
is a model that’s called reflective
equilibrium was made by a philosopher
called John John Rawls and it’ll bust
any myth
so here the steps let me explain the
steps first and I’ll give you an example
of how to apply it so for example the
first one is when you hear a statement
that sounds right that sounds great that
sounds wise okay the first thing you
want to do is ask yourself in which
situation would this statement be false
where would the statement fail the
second thing you say is think of a
modified statement that would make that
would actually work in that situation
that will actually be true in this
situation right then you say okay where
would this modified situation not be
true the statement would be false and
keep repeating that process until you
feel like you’ve seen the bigger picture
and finally make a decision let me give
you an example of this right so say you
hear somebody saying something like Oh
honesty is the best policy and that
sounds great you know honesty is the
best policy are fantastic I need to do
that right but in which situation would
that be false you know if a terrorist
was holding a gun and saying where’s
your brother hiding would you always be
honest you know if you enable calls you
up and say oh my son is getting married
please come for the wedding would you
say I’m sorry I really don’t like your
son that much I’m not gonna have any you
know probably not so with situation so
you can imagine no there’s some
situations where are there things that
are more important than honesty okay but
in general I want to be honest with
myself maybe right but then you say
other situations where even that
modified statement would be false
where’d make sense to lie to myself and
you see there are sometimes you might
have such a traumatic event in your
childhood that you’re just not ready to
face it okay so let me lie to myself
until I’m ready to face it maybe that’s
true right and so you keep going and the
phrase becomes more in complex and then
when you finally see the complexity then
you make a decision then you make a
decision right and so if you follow this
process you see that the opposite of any
truth is also true and this is what I
want to leave you with right the good
managers know the right answer and great
managers know in which situation the
Wrights answer is wrong right and that’s
a process that five steps to enlighten
and here’s the question I have for you
guys to think about before I wrap this
up right one what are your great truths
three truths that you’re like I really
believe that that’s like my life is
lived around that – what would be the
opposite of those great truths because
they’re all so true
now I’m not saying if you say you know
family is the most important thing the
opposite of that is not necessarily
family is unimportant let me sell them
to slavery right the opposite that might
be it’s important for me to spend time
on myself it might be that that’s the
opposite for you right so what are the
opposite of those three great truths
that you live your life by and the third
question is if you could see that both
of these are true both of these
perspectives are true what would that
open up in your life right I’ll leave
you with those questions thank you very
much for inviting me I hope I’ve
thoroughly confused you because you see
the aim of this talk was not to give
clarity it’s not simple you know it’s
more complex and confusion really tells
you that you’re saying I now appreciate
the complexity right so anytime you’re
feeling confused don’t resist it don’t
fight it because you like then simplify
not see the complexity enjoy the
confusion because you’re about to make a
decision about your values when you
realize it’s more complex and in that
you’re defining yourselves thank you
very much
you
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