[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
in the 1990s I was a music pastor at a
in the 1990s I was a music pastor at a large Church in Northern California and
large Church in Northern California and
large Church in Northern California and I was coming back to my office one
I was coming back to my office one
I was coming back to my office one afternoon after lunch and as I was
afternoon after lunch and as I was
afternoon after lunch and as I was coming to my office it was an older
coming to my office it was an older
coming to my office it was an older two-story building with an outdoor
two-story building with an outdoor
two-story building with an outdoor staircase and then you entered the
staircase and then you entered the
staircase and then you entered the ground floor and Norma Bell was sitting
ground floor and Norma Bell was sitting
ground floor and Norma Bell was sitting on the bottom couple of steps now Norma
on the bottom couple of steps now Norma
on the bottom couple of steps now Norma Bell was an older woman who worked
Bell was an older woman who worked
Bell was an older woman who worked upstairs and as I came around the corner
upstairs and as I came around the corner
upstairs and as I came around the corner I noticed that she was sitting there but
I noticed that she was sitting there but
I noticed that she was sitting there but that her shoes had been kicked off in
that her shoes had been kicked off in
that her shoes had been kicked off in front of her and she was sitting there
front of her and she was sitting there
front of her and she was sitting there rubbing her leg just a bit and and I
rubbing her leg just a bit and and I
rubbing her leg just a bit and and I walked on past I said hi Norma Belle how
walked on past I said hi Norma Belle how
walked on past I said hi Norma Belle how you doing and I kept walking into my
you doing and I kept walking into my
you doing and I kept walking into my office now if he had pushed pause right
office now if he had pushed pause right
office now if he had pushed pause right then and asked you know Kevin what did
then and asked you know Kevin what did
then and asked you know Kevin what did you just encounter out there I was said
you just encounter out there I was said
you just encounter out there I was said well you know Norma Belle was probably
well you know Norma Belle was probably
well you know Norma Belle was probably sitting there on the steps in the shade
sitting there on the steps in the shade
sitting there on the steps in the shade having her lunch and she kicked off her
having her lunch and she kicked off her
having her lunch and she kicked off her shoes to relax a bit and yeah that was
shoes to relax a bit and yeah that was
shoes to relax a bit and yeah that was about it obviously that wasn’t this
about it obviously that wasn’t this
about it obviously that wasn’t this story or else I wouldn’t be telling this
story or else I wouldn’t be telling this
story or else I wouldn’t be telling this story as sure enough a few moments later
story as sure enough a few moments later
story as sure enough a few moments later I noticed some commotion outside and I
I noticed some commotion outside and I
I noticed some commotion outside and I looked around the corner and the
looked around the corner and the
looked around the corner and the emergency services were there and
emergency services were there and
emergency services were there and ambulance was there and Norma Belle had
ambulance was there and Norma Belle had
ambulance was there and Norma Belle had actually fallen down the last few steps
actually fallen down the last few steps
actually fallen down the last few steps and had broken her ankle I was the first
and had broken her ankle I was the first
and had broken her ankle I was the first person to come upon Norma Belle in her
person to come upon Norma Belle in her
person to come upon Norma Belle in her in her distress and like a busy
in her distress and like a busy
in her distress and like a busy heartless idiot I ignored her completely
heartless idiot I ignored her completely
heartless idiot I ignored her completely I felt horrible and even if my original
I felt horrible and even if my original
I felt horrible and even if my original story about Norma Belle had been true
story about Norma Belle had been true
story about Norma Belle had been true that she was just sitting there having a
that she was just sitting there having a
that she was just sitting there having a lunch I’m still an epic failure as a
lunch I’m still an epic failure as a
lunch I’m still an epic failure as a human being I didn’t even engage her in
human being I didn’t even engage her in
human being I didn’t even engage her in the five-second conversation Norma Belle
the five-second conversation Norma Belle
the five-second conversation Norma Belle how are you how are things going
how are you how are things going
how are you how are things going upstairs
upstairs
upstairs something human-to-human I just kept
something human-to-human I just kept
something human-to-human I just kept going I failed miserably this was not a
going I failed miserably this was not a
going I failed miserably this was not a banner day for pastor Kevin let’s just
banner day for pastor Kevin let’s just
banner day for pastor Kevin let’s just say fast forward now 20 plus years later
say fast forward now 20 plus years later
say fast forward now 20 plus years later I’m working as a communications
I’m working as a communications
I’m working as a communications consultant helping people all over the
consultant helping people all over the
consultant helping people all over the world develop their messages and deliver
world develop their messages and deliver
world develop their messages and deliver clear compelling communication the
clear compelling communication the
clear compelling communication the privilege of working with all kinds of
privilege of working with all kinds of
privilege of working with all kinds of people in all kinds of industries and
people in all kinds of industries and
people in all kinds of industries and all kinds of geographies and I can tell
all kinds of geographies and I can tell
all kinds of geographies and I can tell you with increasing confidence that
you with increasing confidence that
you with increasing confidence that that’s communicate
that’s communicate
that’s communicate we are making the same epic failures
we are making the same epic failures
we are making the same epic failures that I made with Norma Bell 20-plus
that I made with Norma Bell 20-plus
that I made with Norma Bell 20-plus years ago we are walking into meetings
years ago we are walking into meetings
years ago we are walking into meetings and conversations and presentations
and conversations and presentations
and conversations and presentations totally oblivious to our audience who is
totally oblivious to our audience who is
totally oblivious to our audience who is sprawled out on the steps and their
sprawled out on the steps and their
sprawled out on the steps and their shoes are kicked out in front of them we
shoes are kicked out in front of them we
shoes are kicked out in front of them we are ignoring their hurts we are ignoring
are ignoring their hurts we are ignoring
are ignoring their hurts we are ignoring their fears their confusion we are not
their fears their confusion we are not
their fears their confusion we are not thinking about them as humans and even
thinking about them as humans and even
thinking about them as humans and even when our audience have simply enjoying
when our audience have simply enjoying
when our audience have simply enjoying their lunch and they aren’t in distress
their lunch and they aren’t in distress
their lunch and they aren’t in distress we still aren’t even taking a minute or
we still aren’t even taking a minute or
we still aren’t even taking a minute or two and thinking about them as a real
two and thinking about them as a real
two and thinking about them as a real person what are their hopes and dreams
person what are their hopes and dreams
person what are their hopes and dreams they’re their fears their concerns we
they’re their fears their concerns we
they’re their fears their concerns we are busy we are effective and we are
are busy we are effective and we are
are busy we are effective and we are losing our humanity I can tell you not
losing our humanity I can tell you not
losing our humanity I can tell you not only is that a sucky way to live but
only is that a sucky way to live but
only is that a sucky way to live but it’s also a very ineffective way for our
it’s also a very ineffective way for our
it’s also a very ineffective way for our ideas to come to life and to change
ideas to come to life and to change
ideas to come to life and to change people in every communication scenario
people in every communication scenario
people in every communication scenario there are three main players you have
there are three main players you have
there are three main players you have the audience the communicator and then
the audience the communicator and then
the audience the communicator and then your content your idea whatever it is
your content your idea whatever it is
your content your idea whatever it is you’re trying to share with your
you’re trying to share with your
you’re trying to share with your audience and out of those three main
audience and out of those three main
audience and out of those three main players of audience communicator and
players of audience communicator and
players of audience communicator and content which do you think is the most
content which do you think is the most
content which do you think is the most important
thank you that’s right yes audience the
thank you that’s right yes audience the audience is the hero here’s the reason
audience is the hero here’s the reason
audience is the hero here’s the reason why it doesn’t matter how great your
why it doesn’t matter how great your
why it doesn’t matter how great your idea how lucrative your product how
idea how lucrative your product how
idea how lucrative your product how transformative your strategy no matter
transformative your strategy no matter
transformative your strategy no matter what it is unless your audience gets it
what it is unless your audience gets it
what it is unless your audience gets it your idea dies your and my ideas only
your idea dies your and my ideas only
your idea dies your and my ideas only have value when they come to life in the
have value when they come to life in the
have value when they come to life in the heart and mind of our audience of our
heart and mind of our audience of our
heart and mind of our audience of our hero now there is always resistance to
hero now there is always resistance to
hero now there is always resistance to our to our hero’s being changed and
our to our hero’s being changed and
our to our hero’s being changed and sometimes we can anticipate that
sometimes we can anticipate that
sometimes we can anticipate that resistance it’s relatively small maybe
resistance it’s relatively small maybe
resistance it’s relatively small maybe we’re trying to get our kids to go to
we’re trying to get our kids to go to
we’re trying to get our kids to go to bed on time or maybe we’re asking for a
bed on time or maybe we’re asking for a
bed on time or maybe we’re asking for a professor for an extra week to work on
professor for an extra week to work on
professor for an extra week to work on the project sometimes that resistance is
the project sometimes that resistance is
the project sometimes that resistance is much higher and maybe even emotionally
much higher and maybe even emotionally
much higher and maybe even emotionally charged maybe we’re trying to get a
charged maybe we’re trying to get a
charged maybe we’re trying to get a sales team to adopt a whole new
sales team to adopt a whole new
sales team to adopt a whole new strategy for sales or we’re asking
strategy for sales or we’re asking
strategy for sales or we’re asking someone to invest incredible resources
someone to invest incredible resources
someone to invest incredible resources into our passion project
into our passion project
into our passion project sometimes that resistance is even in the
sometimes that resistance is even in the
sometimes that resistance is even in the form of opposition not only does our
form of opposition not only does our
form of opposition not only does our hero not agree with us they think we’re
hero not agree with us they think we’re
hero not agree with us they think we’re wrong and they’re working actively to
wrong and they’re working actively to
wrong and they’re working actively to undermine our position and our influence
undermine our position and our influence
undermine our position and our influence no matter where your hero is on that
no matter where your hero is on that
no matter where your hero is on that scale of resistance the simple truth
scale of resistance the simple truth
scale of resistance the simple truth remains that unless we can move them
remains that unless we can move them
remains that unless we can move them from where they are to where they need
from where they are to where they need
from where they are to where they need to be your and my ideas are going to
to be your and my ideas are going to
to be your and my ideas are going to suffer so what role do we play in this
suffer so what role do we play in this
suffer so what role do we play in this little communication drama well as
little communication drama well as
little communication drama well as communicators we play the role of the
communicators we play the role of the
communicators we play the role of the mentor the facilitator the person that
mentor the facilitator the person that
mentor the facilitator the person that will do whatever it takes to have our
will do whatever it takes to have our
will do whatever it takes to have our audience move from here to there because
audience move from here to there because
audience move from here to there because our ideas are that important now what
our ideas are that important now what
our ideas are that important now what are the characteristics of a good mentor
are the characteristics of a good mentor
are the characteristics of a good mentor well they are many but I think two of
well they are many but I think two of
well they are many but I think two of the most powerful traits of a mentor are
the most powerful traits of a mentor are
the most powerful traits of a mentor are empathy and humility empathy is seeking
empathy and humility empathy is seeking
empathy and humility empathy is seeking to understand and possibly even feel the
to understand and possibly even feel the
to understand and possibly even feel the emotions of someone else now it’s
emotions of someone else now it’s
emotions of someone else now it’s important to realize that I don’t have
important to realize that I don’t have
important to realize that I don’t have to like someone to have empathy for them
to like someone to have empathy for them
to like someone to have empathy for them this doesn’t mean that your hero has to
this doesn’t mean that your hero has to
this doesn’t mean that your hero has to become your friend because many times
become your friend because many times
become your friend because many times we’re trying to influence people we
we’re trying to influence people we
we’re trying to influence people we really don’t like or agree with empathy
really don’t like or agree with empathy
really don’t like or agree with empathy is not liking someone neither is empathy
is not liking someone neither is empathy
is not liking someone neither is empathy endorsement it doesn’t mean I have to
endorsement it doesn’t mean I have to
endorsement it doesn’t mean I have to agree with them or adopt their point of
agree with them or adopt their point of
agree with them or adopt their point of view empathy is imagination for the sake
view empathy is imagination for the sake
view empathy is imagination for the sake of understanding imagine it what’s it
of understanding imagine it what’s it
of understanding imagine it what’s it like to be them – to walk in their shoes
like to be them – to walk in their shoes
like to be them – to walk in their shoes or sit at their desk or pick your
or sit at their desk or pick your
or sit at their desk or pick your favorite metaphor what’s it like to
favorite metaphor what’s it like to
favorite metaphor what’s it like to navigate their journey – why are they
navigate their journey – why are they
navigate their journey – why are they thinking this way why are they acting
thinking this way why are they acting
thinking this way why are they acting this way a great mentor spends all kinds
this way a great mentor spends all kinds
this way a great mentor spends all kinds of energy trying to imagine the
of energy trying to imagine the
of energy trying to imagine the perspective of their hero
perspective of their hero
perspective of their hero so that they can find understanding and
so that they can find understanding and
so that they can find understanding and so they might even be able to relate to
so they might even be able to relate to
so they might even be able to relate to them
them
them well if empathy allows us to see and
well if empathy allows us to see and
well if empathy allows us to see and possibly even feel humility is what
possibly even feel humility is what
possibly even feel humility is what causes us to act
causes us to act
causes us to act humility is letting go of my
humility is letting go of my
humility is letting go of my own needs so I can serve the needs of my
own needs so I can serve the needs of my
own needs so I can serve the needs of my hero well what needs do we have as
hero well what needs do we have as
hero well what needs do we have as communicators
communicators
communicators well maybe the need to be in charge they
well maybe the need to be in charge they
well maybe the need to be in charge they have everything always go my way
have everything always go my way
have everything always go my way humility says that I’m open to adjust my
humility says that I’m open to adjust my
humility says that I’m open to adjust my plan I’m open to have others give input
plan I’m open to have others give input
plan I’m open to have others give input how about the need for credits
how about the need for credits
how about the need for credits it’s amazing what gets accomplished when
it’s amazing what gets accomplished when
it’s amazing what gets accomplished when we’re no longer concerns who gets credit
we’re no longer concerns who gets credit
we’re no longer concerns who gets credit for it how about the need simply to be
for it how about the need simply to be
for it how about the need simply to be right or acknowledge his right every
right or acknowledge his right every
right or acknowledge his right every leader every person of influence comes
leader every person of influence comes
leader every person of influence comes up to a point where they have to ask
up to a point where they have to ask
up to a point where they have to ask themselves is my idea bigger than me the
themselves is my idea bigger than me the
themselves is my idea bigger than me the humble leader says yes and that unlocks
humble leader says yes and that unlocks
humble leader says yes and that unlocks the door to transformational now I said
the door to transformational now I said
the door to transformational now I said at the beginning I was a music pastor so
at the beginning I was a music pastor so
at the beginning I was a music pastor so understandably I was actually a music
understandably I was actually a music
understandably I was actually a music major in college and now as a musician I
major in college and now as a musician I
major in college and now as a musician I had more passion than talent okay hi in
had more passion than talent okay hi in
had more passion than talent okay hi in the passion scale not so much on the
the passion scale not so much on the
the passion scale not so much on the talent scale you want those to be a
talent scale you want those to be a
talent scale you want those to be a little bit more even and I I quickly
little bit more even and I I quickly
little bit more even and I I quickly realized I had hopes and dreams as a
realized I had hopes and dreams as a
realized I had hopes and dreams as a musician that I never had was going to
musician that I never had was going to
musician that I never had was going to have the ability to bring to life on my
have the ability to bring to life on my
have the ability to bring to life on my own and if they were ever to be realized
own and if they were ever to be realized
own and if they were ever to be realized I was going to need to solicit the input
I was going to need to solicit the input
I was going to need to solicit the input of others so I graduated as an undergrad
of others so I graduated as an undergrad
of others so I graduated as an undergrad as a voice major which don’t be too
as a voice major which don’t be too
as a voice major which don’t be too impressed that just means I worked
impressed that just means I worked
impressed that just means I worked really hard I had a very gracious
really hard I had a very gracious
really hard I had a very gracious faculty and then I went on to get a
faculty and then I went on to get a
faculty and then I went on to get a graduate degree in conducting yes this
graduate degree in conducting yes this
graduate degree in conducting yes this mediocre musician is absolutely actually
mediocre musician is absolutely actually
mediocre musician is absolutely actually a conductor so much of I’ve learned
a conductor so much of I’ve learned
a conductor so much of I’ve learned about communication and leadership I’ve
about communication and leadership I’ve
about communication and leadership I’ve learned through conducting look at this
learned through conducting look at this
learned through conducting look at this leadership illustration when you come to
leadership illustration when you come to
leadership illustration when you come to a concert all you see if a conductor is
a concert all you see if a conductor is
a concert all you see if a conductor is there back side you’re right all you see
there back side you’re right all you see
there back side you’re right all you see is the back of their head the back of
is the back of their head the back of
is the back of their head the back of their body and what you can tell their
their body and what you can tell their
their body and what you can tell their leadership and their influence is what
leadership and their influence is what
leadership and their influence is what you experience from their players but
you experience from their players but
you experience from their players but your players are reflecting to the
your players are reflecting to the
your players are reflecting to the audience I can turn around and I can
audience I can turn around and I can
audience I can turn around and I can address the audience and I can you know
address the audience and I can you know
address the audience and I can you know tell them some insight about the musical
tell them some insight about the musical
tell them some insight about the musical piece we’re performing or some things to
piece we’re performing or some things to
piece we’re performing or some things to be listening
be listening
be listening but no matter what I say my real value
but no matter what I say my real value
but no matter what I say my real value my real effectiveness as a leader isn’t
my real effectiveness as a leader isn’t
my real effectiveness as a leader isn’t in my words but what our players do too
in my words but what our players do too
in my words but what our players do too often we confuse leadership with
often we confuse leadership with
often we confuse leadership with position or vision we think that just
position or vision we think that just
position or vision we think that just because someone has a position of
because someone has a position of
because someone has a position of authority and maybe can even espouse a
authority and maybe can even espouse a
authority and maybe can even espouse a vision we call them a leader no
vision we call them a leader no
vision we call them a leader no leadership is measured not by what we
leadership is measured not by what we
leadership is measured not by what we say but what our players do another
say but what our players do another
say but what our players do another great lesson that goes along with that
great lesson that goes along with that
great lesson that goes along with that simply is that I need players I need
simply is that I need players I need
simply is that I need players I need performers without anyone in front of me
performers without anyone in front of me
performers without anyone in front of me I’m just a guy waving my arms there’s
I’m just a guy waving my arms there’s
I’m just a guy waving my arms there’s nothing happening here
nothing happening here
nothing happening here I am absolutely dependent on other
I am absolutely dependent on other
I am absolutely dependent on other people to bring my idea my vision my
people to bring my idea my vision my
people to bring my idea my vision my dream to life and so then I have to
dream to life and so then I have to
dream to life and so then I have to decide what kind of a conductor do I
decide what kind of a conductor do I
decide what kind of a conductor do I want to be do I want to be like the
want to be do I want to be like the
want to be do I want to be like the Kevin of 20-plus years ago who is busy
Kevin of 20-plus years ago who is busy
Kevin of 20-plus years ago who is busy has lots of expectations maybe even
has lots of expectations maybe even
has lots of expectations maybe even living a little shallowly and so I will
living a little shallowly and so I will
living a little shallowly and so I will make sure that all my players make sure
make sure that all my players make sure
make sure that all my players make sure that I know that they have a clear job
that I know that they have a clear job
that I know that they have a clear job description maybe a code of conduct that
description maybe a code of conduct that
description maybe a code of conduct that they show up to rehearsal long time we
they show up to rehearsal long time we
they show up to rehearsal long time we play the right notes we play the right
play the right notes we play the right
play the right notes we play the right rhythms we have the right intonation and
rhythms we have the right intonation and
rhythms we have the right intonation and then when I tap my baton on the music
then when I tap my baton on the music
then when I tap my baton on the music stand and we begin to play what comes
stand and we begin to play what comes
stand and we begin to play what comes out will be music or do I want to waken
out will be music or do I want to waken
out will be music or do I want to waken to my own humanity and maybe the
to my own humanity and maybe the
to my own humanity and maybe the humanity of the people I’m working with
humanity of the people I’m working with
humanity of the people I’m working with and imagine what’s it like to be them to
and imagine what’s it like to be them to
and imagine what’s it like to be them to navigate their world to navigate their
navigate their world to navigate their
navigate their world to navigate their lives to play for a conductor who might
lives to play for a conductor who might
lives to play for a conductor who might be the least talented musician in the
be the least talented musician in the
be the least talented musician in the room to serve them humbly to to let them
room to serve them humbly to to let them
room to serve them humbly to to let them correct me let them challenge me all the
correct me let them challenge me all the
correct me let them challenge me all the while challenging them and calling them
while challenging them and calling them
while challenging them and calling them to a better place
to a better place
to a better place calling them to take their expertise
calling them to take their expertise
calling them to take their expertise their skill and their talent to invest
their skill and their talent to invest
their skill and their talent to invest it not just in their own performance but
it not just in their own performance but
it not just in their own performance but then in the collective performance of
then in the collective performance of
then in the collective performance of what we’re creating together to call
what we’re creating together to call
what we’re creating together to call them to serve one another to submit to
them to serve one another to submit to
them to serve one another to submit to one another to dare I say even play from
one another to dare I say even play from
one another to dare I say even play from a place of love for one another and what
a place of love for one another and what
a place of love for one another and what we’re doing together and when I
we’re doing together and when I
we’re doing together and when I communicate and when I lead with in that
communicate and when I lead with in that
communicate and when I lead with in that kind of way when I tap my baton
kind of way when I tap my baton
kind of way when I tap my baton on the stand and we begin to play what
on the stand and we begin to play what
on the stand and we begin to play what happens next
happens next
happens next is music what about you we all have
is music what about you we all have
is music what about you we all have ideas we have dreams we have hopes we
ideas we have dreams we have hopes we
ideas we have dreams we have hopes we have something that we want to see come
have something that we want to see come
have something that we want to see come to life in our homes in our schools in
to life in our homes in our schools in
to life in our homes in our schools in our businesses maybe even in the world
our businesses maybe even in the world
our businesses maybe even in the world some of our ideas are our simple little
some of our ideas are our simple little
some of our ideas are our simple little diddies others are a grand sift symphony
diddies others are a grand sift symphony
diddies others are a grand sift symphony every one of them requires someone or
every one of them requires someone or
every one of them requires someone or someone’s to come alongside and help us
someone’s to come alongside and help us
someone’s to come alongside and help us bring it to life are they players or are
bring it to life are they players or are
bring it to life are they players or are they people are they obstacles or are
they people are they obstacles or are
they people are they obstacles or are they individuals are you gonna slow down
they individuals are you gonna slow down
they individuals are you gonna slow down long enough to imagine what’s it like
long enough to imagine what’s it like
long enough to imagine what’s it like for them to journey from their
for them to journey from their
for them to journey from their perspective are you going to serve them
perspective are you going to serve them
perspective are you going to serve them in such a way that their greatest
in such a way that their greatest
in such a way that their greatest fulfillment comes to life because of
fulfillment comes to life because of
fulfillment comes to life because of your leadership because of your
your leadership because of your
your leadership because of your influence in this room we have leaders
influence in this room we have leaders
influence in this room we have leaders who the entrepreneurs innovators
who the entrepreneurs innovators
who the entrepreneurs innovators creators and a whole bunch of us who
creators and a whole bunch of us who
creators and a whole bunch of us who don’t know what we are yet but we just
don’t know what we are yet but we just
don’t know what we are yet but we just have a burn in our soul to make a
have a burn in our soul to make a
have a burn in our soul to make a difference when we leverage our humanity
difference when we leverage our humanity
difference when we leverage our humanity and we seek to engage the hearts of our
and we seek to engage the hearts of our
and we seek to engage the hearts of our heroes that we’re talking to when you
heroes that we’re talking to when you
heroes that we’re talking to when you take your podium and tap your baton on
take your podium and tap your baton on
take your podium and tap your baton on the music stand what happens next will
the music stand what happens next will
the music stand what happens next will take your breath away thank you
[Music] [Applause]
[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
in the 1990s I was a music pastor at a
in the 1990s I was a music pastor at a large Church in Northern California and
large Church in Northern California and
large Church in Northern California and I was coming back to my office one
I was coming back to my office one
I was coming back to my office one afternoon after lunch and as I was
afternoon after lunch and as I was
afternoon after lunch and as I was coming to my office it was an older
coming to my office it was an older
coming to my office it was an older two-story building with an outdoor
two-story building with an outdoor
two-story building with an outdoor staircase and then you entered the
staircase and then you entered the
staircase and then you entered the ground floor and Norma Bell was sitting
ground floor and Norma Bell was sitting
ground floor and Norma Bell was sitting on the bottom couple of steps now Norma
on the bottom couple of steps now Norma
on the bottom couple of steps now Norma Bell was an older woman who worked
Bell was an older woman who worked
Bell was an older woman who worked upstairs and as I came around the corner
upstairs and as I came around the corner
upstairs and as I came around the corner I noticed that she was sitting there but
I noticed that she was sitting there but
I noticed that she was sitting there but that her shoes had been kicked off in
that her shoes had been kicked off in
that her shoes had been kicked off in front of her and she was sitting there
front of her and she was sitting there
front of her and she was sitting there rubbing her leg just a bit and and I
rubbing her leg just a bit and and I
rubbing her leg just a bit and and I walked on past I said hi Norma Belle how
walked on past I said hi Norma Belle how
walked on past I said hi Norma Belle how you doing and I kept walking into my
you doing and I kept walking into my
you doing and I kept walking into my office now if he had pushed pause right
office now if he had pushed pause right
office now if he had pushed pause right then and asked you know Kevin what did
then and asked you know Kevin what did
then and asked you know Kevin what did you just encounter out there I was said
you just encounter out there I was said
you just encounter out there I was said well you know Norma Belle was probably
well you know Norma Belle was probably
well you know Norma Belle was probably sitting there on the steps in the shade
sitting there on the steps in the shade
sitting there on the steps in the shade having her lunch and she kicked off her
having her lunch and she kicked off her
having her lunch and she kicked off her shoes to relax a bit and yeah that was
shoes to relax a bit and yeah that was
shoes to relax a bit and yeah that was about it obviously that wasn’t this
about it obviously that wasn’t this
about it obviously that wasn’t this story or else I wouldn’t be telling this
story or else I wouldn’t be telling this
story or else I wouldn’t be telling this story as sure enough a few moments later
story as sure enough a few moments later
story as sure enough a few moments later I noticed some commotion outside and I
I noticed some commotion outside and I
I noticed some commotion outside and I looked around the corner and the
looked around the corner and the
looked around the corner and the emergency services were there and
emergency services were there and
emergency services were there and ambulance was there and Norma Belle had
ambulance was there and Norma Belle had
ambulance was there and Norma Belle had actually fallen down the last few steps
actually fallen down the last few steps
actually fallen down the last few steps and had broken her ankle I was the first
and had broken her ankle I was the first
and had broken her ankle I was the first person to come upon Norma Belle in her
person to come upon Norma Belle in her
person to come upon Norma Belle in her in her distress and like a busy
in her distress and like a busy
in her distress and like a busy heartless idiot I ignored her completely
heartless idiot I ignored her completely
heartless idiot I ignored her completely I felt horrible and even if my original
I felt horrible and even if my original
I felt horrible and even if my original story about Norma Belle had been true
story about Norma Belle had been true
story about Norma Belle had been true that she was just sitting there having a
that she was just sitting there having a
that she was just sitting there having a lunch I’m still an epic failure as a
lunch I’m still an epic failure as a
lunch I’m still an epic failure as a human being I didn’t even engage her in
human being I didn’t even engage her in
human being I didn’t even engage her in the five-second conversation Norma Belle
the five-second conversation Norma Belle
the five-second conversation Norma Belle how are you how are things going
how are you how are things going
how are you how are things going upstairs
upstairs
upstairs something human-to-human I just kept
something human-to-human I just kept
something human-to-human I just kept going I failed miserably this was not a
going I failed miserably this was not a
going I failed miserably this was not a banner day for pastor Kevin let’s just
banner day for pastor Kevin let’s just
banner day for pastor Kevin let’s just say fast forward now 20 plus years later
say fast forward now 20 plus years later
say fast forward now 20 plus years later I’m working as a communications
I’m working as a communications
I’m working as a communications consultant helping people all over the
consultant helping people all over the
consultant helping people all over the world develop their messages and deliver
world develop their messages and deliver
world develop their messages and deliver clear compelling communication the
clear compelling communication the
clear compelling communication the privilege of working with all kinds of
privilege of working with all kinds of
privilege of working with all kinds of people in all kinds of industries and
people in all kinds of industries and
people in all kinds of industries and all kinds of geographies and I can tell
all kinds of geographies and I can tell
all kinds of geographies and I can tell you with increasing confidence that
you with increasing confidence that
you with increasing confidence that that’s communicate
that’s communicate
that’s communicate we are making the same epic failures
we are making the same epic failures
we are making the same epic failures that I made with Norma Bell 20-plus
that I made with Norma Bell 20-plus
that I made with Norma Bell 20-plus years ago we are walking into meetings
years ago we are walking into meetings
years ago we are walking into meetings and conversations and presentations
and conversations and presentations
and conversations and presentations totally oblivious to our audience who is
totally oblivious to our audience who is
totally oblivious to our audience who is sprawled out on the steps and their
sprawled out on the steps and their
sprawled out on the steps and their shoes are kicked out in front of them we
shoes are kicked out in front of them we
shoes are kicked out in front of them we are ignoring their hurts we are ignoring
are ignoring their hurts we are ignoring
are ignoring their hurts we are ignoring their fears their confusion we are not
their fears their confusion we are not
their fears their confusion we are not thinking about them as humans and even
thinking about them as humans and even
thinking about them as humans and even when our audience have simply enjoying
when our audience have simply enjoying
when our audience have simply enjoying their lunch and they aren’t in distress
their lunch and they aren’t in distress
their lunch and they aren’t in distress we still aren’t even taking a minute or
we still aren’t even taking a minute or
we still aren’t even taking a minute or two and thinking about them as a real
two and thinking about them as a real
two and thinking about them as a real person what are their hopes and dreams
person what are their hopes and dreams
person what are their hopes and dreams they’re their fears their concerns we
they’re their fears their concerns we
they’re their fears their concerns we are busy we are effective and we are
are busy we are effective and we are
are busy we are effective and we are losing our humanity I can tell you not
losing our humanity I can tell you not
losing our humanity I can tell you not only is that a sucky way to live but
only is that a sucky way to live but
only is that a sucky way to live but it’s also a very ineffective way for our
it’s also a very ineffective way for our
it’s also a very ineffective way for our ideas to come to life and to change
ideas to come to life and to change
ideas to come to life and to change people in every communication scenario
people in every communication scenario
people in every communication scenario there are three main players you have
there are three main players you have
there are three main players you have the audience the communicator and then
the audience the communicator and then
the audience the communicator and then your content your idea whatever it is
your content your idea whatever it is
your content your idea whatever it is you’re trying to share with your
you’re trying to share with your
you’re trying to share with your audience and out of those three main
audience and out of those three main
audience and out of those three main players of audience communicator and
players of audience communicator and
players of audience communicator and content which do you think is the most
content which do you think is the most
content which do you think is the most important
thank you that’s right yes audience the
thank you that’s right yes audience the audience is the hero here’s the reason
audience is the hero here’s the reason
audience is the hero here’s the reason why it doesn’t matter how great your
why it doesn’t matter how great your
why it doesn’t matter how great your idea how lucrative your product how
idea how lucrative your product how
idea how lucrative your product how transformative your strategy no matter
transformative your strategy no matter
transformative your strategy no matter what it is unless your audience gets it
what it is unless your audience gets it
what it is unless your audience gets it your idea dies your and my ideas only
your idea dies your and my ideas only
your idea dies your and my ideas only have value when they come to life in the
have value when they come to life in the
have value when they come to life in the heart and mind of our audience of our
heart and mind of our audience of our
heart and mind of our audience of our hero now there is always resistance to
hero now there is always resistance to
hero now there is always resistance to our to our hero’s being changed and
our to our hero’s being changed and
our to our hero’s being changed and sometimes we can anticipate that
sometimes we can anticipate that
sometimes we can anticipate that resistance it’s relatively small maybe
resistance it’s relatively small maybe
resistance it’s relatively small maybe we’re trying to get our kids to go to
we’re trying to get our kids to go to
we’re trying to get our kids to go to bed on time or maybe we’re asking for a
bed on time or maybe we’re asking for a
bed on time or maybe we’re asking for a professor for an extra week to work on
professor for an extra week to work on
professor for an extra week to work on the project sometimes that resistance is
the project sometimes that resistance is
the project sometimes that resistance is much higher and maybe even emotionally
much higher and maybe even emotionally
much higher and maybe even emotionally charged maybe we’re trying to get a
charged maybe we’re trying to get a
charged maybe we’re trying to get a sales team to adopt a whole new
sales team to adopt a whole new
sales team to adopt a whole new strategy for sales or we’re asking
strategy for sales or we’re asking
strategy for sales or we’re asking someone to invest incredible resources
someone to invest incredible resources
someone to invest incredible resources into our passion project
into our passion project
into our passion project sometimes that resistance is even in the
sometimes that resistance is even in the
sometimes that resistance is even in the form of opposition not only does our
form of opposition not only does our
form of opposition not only does our hero not agree with us they think we’re
hero not agree with us they think we’re
hero not agree with us they think we’re wrong and they’re working actively to
wrong and they’re working actively to
wrong and they’re working actively to undermine our position and our influence
undermine our position and our influence
undermine our position and our influence no matter where your hero is on that
no matter where your hero is on that
no matter where your hero is on that scale of resistance the simple truth
scale of resistance the simple truth
scale of resistance the simple truth remains that unless we can move them
remains that unless we can move them
remains that unless we can move them from where they are to where they need
from where they are to where they need
from where they are to where they need to be your and my ideas are going to
to be your and my ideas are going to
to be your and my ideas are going to suffer so what role do we play in this
suffer so what role do we play in this
suffer so what role do we play in this little communication drama well as
little communication drama well as
little communication drama well as communicators we play the role of the
communicators we play the role of the
communicators we play the role of the mentor the facilitator the person that
mentor the facilitator the person that
mentor the facilitator the person that will do whatever it takes to have our
will do whatever it takes to have our
will do whatever it takes to have our audience move from here to there because
audience move from here to there because
audience move from here to there because our ideas are that important now what
our ideas are that important now what
our ideas are that important now what are the characteristics of a good mentor
are the characteristics of a good mentor
are the characteristics of a good mentor well they are many but I think two of
well they are many but I think two of
well they are many but I think two of the most powerful traits of a mentor are
the most powerful traits of a mentor are
the most powerful traits of a mentor are empathy and humility empathy is seeking
empathy and humility empathy is seeking
empathy and humility empathy is seeking to understand and possibly even feel the
to understand and possibly even feel the
to understand and possibly even feel the emotions of someone else now it’s
emotions of someone else now it’s
emotions of someone else now it’s important to realize that I don’t have
important to realize that I don’t have
important to realize that I don’t have to like someone to have empathy for them
to like someone to have empathy for them
to like someone to have empathy for them this doesn’t mean that your hero has to
this doesn’t mean that your hero has to
this doesn’t mean that your hero has to become your friend because many times
become your friend because many times
become your friend because many times we’re trying to influence people we
we’re trying to influence people we
we’re trying to influence people we really don’t like or agree with empathy
really don’t like or agree with empathy
really don’t like or agree with empathy is not liking someone neither is empathy
is not liking someone neither is empathy
is not liking someone neither is empathy endorsement it doesn’t mean I have to
endorsement it doesn’t mean I have to
endorsement it doesn’t mean I have to agree with them or adopt their point of
agree with them or adopt their point of
agree with them or adopt their point of view empathy is imagination for the sake
view empathy is imagination for the sake
view empathy is imagination for the sake of understanding imagine it what’s it
of understanding imagine it what’s it
of understanding imagine it what’s it like to be them – to walk in their shoes
like to be them – to walk in their shoes
like to be them – to walk in their shoes or sit at their desk or pick your
or sit at their desk or pick your
or sit at their desk or pick your favorite metaphor what’s it like to
favorite metaphor what’s it like to
favorite metaphor what’s it like to navigate their journey – why are they
navigate their journey – why are they
navigate their journey – why are they thinking this way why are they acting
thinking this way why are they acting
thinking this way why are they acting this way a great mentor spends all kinds
this way a great mentor spends all kinds
this way a great mentor spends all kinds of energy trying to imagine the
of energy trying to imagine the
of energy trying to imagine the perspective of their hero
perspective of their hero
perspective of their hero so that they can find understanding and
so that they can find understanding and
so that they can find understanding and so they might even be able to relate to
so they might even be able to relate to
so they might even be able to relate to them
them
them well if empathy allows us to see and
well if empathy allows us to see and
well if empathy allows us to see and possibly even feel humility is what
possibly even feel humility is what
possibly even feel humility is what causes us to act
causes us to act
causes us to act humility is letting go of my
humility is letting go of my
humility is letting go of my own needs so I can serve the needs of my
own needs so I can serve the needs of my
own needs so I can serve the needs of my hero well what needs do we have as
hero well what needs do we have as
hero well what needs do we have as communicators
communicators
communicators well maybe the need to be in charge they
well maybe the need to be in charge they
well maybe the need to be in charge they have everything always go my way
have everything always go my way
have everything always go my way humility says that I’m open to adjust my
humility says that I’m open to adjust my
humility says that I’m open to adjust my plan I’m open to have others give input
plan I’m open to have others give input
plan I’m open to have others give input how about the need for credits
how about the need for credits
how about the need for credits it’s amazing what gets accomplished when
it’s amazing what gets accomplished when
it’s amazing what gets accomplished when we’re no longer concerns who gets credit
we’re no longer concerns who gets credit
we’re no longer concerns who gets credit for it how about the need simply to be
for it how about the need simply to be
for it how about the need simply to be right or acknowledge his right every
right or acknowledge his right every
right or acknowledge his right every leader every person of influence comes
leader every person of influence comes
leader every person of influence comes up to a point where they have to ask
up to a point where they have to ask
up to a point where they have to ask themselves is my idea bigger than me the
themselves is my idea bigger than me the
themselves is my idea bigger than me the humble leader says yes and that unlocks
humble leader says yes and that unlocks
humble leader says yes and that unlocks the door to transformational now I said
the door to transformational now I said
the door to transformational now I said at the beginning I was a music pastor so
at the beginning I was a music pastor so
at the beginning I was a music pastor so understandably I was actually a music
understandably I was actually a music
understandably I was actually a music major in college and now as a musician I
major in college and now as a musician I
major in college and now as a musician I had more passion than talent okay hi in
had more passion than talent okay hi in
had more passion than talent okay hi in the passion scale not so much on the
the passion scale not so much on the
the passion scale not so much on the talent scale you want those to be a
talent scale you want those to be a
talent scale you want those to be a little bit more even and I I quickly
little bit more even and I I quickly
little bit more even and I I quickly realized I had hopes and dreams as a
realized I had hopes and dreams as a
realized I had hopes and dreams as a musician that I never had was going to
musician that I never had was going to
musician that I never had was going to have the ability to bring to life on my
have the ability to bring to life on my
have the ability to bring to life on my own and if they were ever to be realized
own and if they were ever to be realized
own and if they were ever to be realized I was going to need to solicit the input
I was going to need to solicit the input
I was going to need to solicit the input of others so I graduated as an undergrad
of others so I graduated as an undergrad
of others so I graduated as an undergrad as a voice major which don’t be too
as a voice major which don’t be too
as a voice major which don’t be too impressed that just means I worked
impressed that just means I worked
impressed that just means I worked really hard I had a very gracious
really hard I had a very gracious
really hard I had a very gracious faculty and then I went on to get a
faculty and then I went on to get a
faculty and then I went on to get a graduate degree in conducting yes this
graduate degree in conducting yes this
graduate degree in conducting yes this mediocre musician is absolutely actually
mediocre musician is absolutely actually
mediocre musician is absolutely actually a conductor so much of I’ve learned
a conductor so much of I’ve learned
a conductor so much of I’ve learned about communication and leadership I’ve
about communication and leadership I’ve
about communication and leadership I’ve learned through conducting look at this
learned through conducting look at this
learned through conducting look at this leadership illustration when you come to
leadership illustration when you come to
leadership illustration when you come to a concert all you see if a conductor is
a concert all you see if a conductor is
a concert all you see if a conductor is there back side you’re right all you see
there back side you’re right all you see
there back side you’re right all you see is the back of their head the back of
is the back of their head the back of
is the back of their head the back of their body and what you can tell their
their body and what you can tell their
their body and what you can tell their leadership and their influence is what
leadership and their influence is what
leadership and their influence is what you experience from their players but
you experience from their players but
you experience from their players but your players are reflecting to the
your players are reflecting to the
your players are reflecting to the audience I can turn around and I can
audience I can turn around and I can
audience I can turn around and I can address the audience and I can you know
address the audience and I can you know
address the audience and I can you know tell them some insight about the musical
tell them some insight about the musical
tell them some insight about the musical piece we’re performing or some things to
piece we’re performing or some things to
piece we’re performing or some things to be listening
be listening
be listening but no matter what I say my real value
but no matter what I say my real value
but no matter what I say my real value my real effectiveness as a leader isn’t
my real effectiveness as a leader isn’t
my real effectiveness as a leader isn’t in my words but what our players do too
in my words but what our players do too
in my words but what our players do too often we confuse leadership with
often we confuse leadership with
often we confuse leadership with position or vision we think that just
position or vision we think that just
position or vision we think that just because someone has a position of
because someone has a position of
because someone has a position of authority and maybe can even espouse a
authority and maybe can even espouse a
authority and maybe can even espouse a vision we call them a leader no
vision we call them a leader no
vision we call them a leader no leadership is measured not by what we
leadership is measured not by what we
leadership is measured not by what we say but what our players do another
say but what our players do another
say but what our players do another great lesson that goes along with that
great lesson that goes along with that
great lesson that goes along with that simply is that I need players I need
simply is that I need players I need
simply is that I need players I need performers without anyone in front of me
performers without anyone in front of me
performers without anyone in front of me I’m just a guy waving my arms there’s
I’m just a guy waving my arms there’s
I’m just a guy waving my arms there’s nothing happening here
nothing happening here
nothing happening here I am absolutely dependent on other
I am absolutely dependent on other
I am absolutely dependent on other people to bring my idea my vision my
people to bring my idea my vision my
people to bring my idea my vision my dream to life and so then I have to
dream to life and so then I have to
dream to life and so then I have to decide what kind of a conductor do I
decide what kind of a conductor do I
decide what kind of a conductor do I want to be do I want to be like the
want to be do I want to be like the
want to be do I want to be like the Kevin of 20-plus years ago who is busy
Kevin of 20-plus years ago who is busy
Kevin of 20-plus years ago who is busy has lots of expectations maybe even
has lots of expectations maybe even
has lots of expectations maybe even living a little shallowly and so I will
living a little shallowly and so I will
living a little shallowly and so I will make sure that all my players make sure
make sure that all my players make sure
make sure that all my players make sure that I know that they have a clear job
that I know that they have a clear job
that I know that they have a clear job description maybe a code of conduct that
description maybe a code of conduct that
description maybe a code of conduct that they show up to rehearsal long time we
they show up to rehearsal long time we
they show up to rehearsal long time we play the right notes we play the right
play the right notes we play the right
play the right notes we play the right rhythms we have the right intonation and
rhythms we have the right intonation and
rhythms we have the right intonation and then when I tap my baton on the music
then when I tap my baton on the music
then when I tap my baton on the music stand and we begin to play what comes
stand and we begin to play what comes
stand and we begin to play what comes out will be music or do I want to waken
out will be music or do I want to waken
out will be music or do I want to waken to my own humanity and maybe the
to my own humanity and maybe the
to my own humanity and maybe the humanity of the people I’m working with
humanity of the people I’m working with
humanity of the people I’m working with and imagine what’s it like to be them to
and imagine what’s it like to be them to
and imagine what’s it like to be them to navigate their world to navigate their
navigate their world to navigate their
navigate their world to navigate their lives to play for a conductor who might
lives to play for a conductor who might
lives to play for a conductor who might be the least talented musician in the
be the least talented musician in the
be the least talented musician in the room to serve them humbly to to let them
room to serve them humbly to to let them
room to serve them humbly to to let them correct me let them challenge me all the
correct me let them challenge me all the
correct me let them challenge me all the while challenging them and calling them
while challenging them and calling them
while challenging them and calling them to a better place
to a better place
to a better place calling them to take their expertise
calling them to take their expertise
calling them to take their expertise their skill and their talent to invest
their skill and their talent to invest
their skill and their talent to invest it not just in their own performance but
it not just in their own performance but
it not just in their own performance but then in the collective performance of
then in the collective performance of
then in the collective performance of what we’re creating together to call
what we’re creating together to call
what we’re creating together to call them to serve one another to submit to
them to serve one another to submit to
them to serve one another to submit to one another to dare I say even play from
one another to dare I say even play from
one another to dare I say even play from a place of love for one another and what
a place of love for one another and what
a place of love for one another and what we’re doing together and when I
we’re doing together and when I
we’re doing together and when I communicate and when I lead with in that
communicate and when I lead with in that
communicate and when I lead with in that kind of way when I tap my baton
kind of way when I tap my baton
kind of way when I tap my baton on the stand and we begin to play what
on the stand and we begin to play what
on the stand and we begin to play what happens next
happens next
happens next is music what about you we all have
is music what about you we all have
is music what about you we all have ideas we have dreams we have hopes we
ideas we have dreams we have hopes we
ideas we have dreams we have hopes we have something that we want to see come
have something that we want to see come
have something that we want to see come to life in our homes in our schools in
to life in our homes in our schools in
to life in our homes in our schools in our businesses maybe even in the world
our businesses maybe even in the world
our businesses maybe even in the world some of our ideas are our simple little
some of our ideas are our simple little
some of our ideas are our simple little diddies others are a grand sift symphony
diddies others are a grand sift symphony
diddies others are a grand sift symphony every one of them requires someone or
every one of them requires someone or
every one of them requires someone or someone’s to come alongside and help us
someone’s to come alongside and help us
someone’s to come alongside and help us bring it to life are they players or are
bring it to life are they players or are
bring it to life are they players or are they people are they obstacles or are
they people are they obstacles or are
they people are they obstacles or are they individuals are you gonna slow down
they individuals are you gonna slow down
they individuals are you gonna slow down long enough to imagine what’s it like
long enough to imagine what’s it like
long enough to imagine what’s it like for them to journey from their
for them to journey from their
for them to journey from their perspective are you going to serve them
perspective are you going to serve them
perspective are you going to serve them in such a way that their greatest
in such a way that their greatest
in such a way that their greatest fulfillment comes to life because of
fulfillment comes to life because of
fulfillment comes to life because of your leadership because of your
your leadership because of your
your leadership because of your influence in this room we have leaders
influence in this room we have leaders
influence in this room we have leaders who the entrepreneurs innovators
who the entrepreneurs innovators
who the entrepreneurs innovators creators and a whole bunch of us who
creators and a whole bunch of us who
creators and a whole bunch of us who don’t know what we are yet but we just
don’t know what we are yet but we just
don’t know what we are yet but we just have a burn in our soul to make a
have a burn in our soul to make a
have a burn in our soul to make a difference when we leverage our humanity
difference when we leverage our humanity
difference when we leverage our humanity and we seek to engage the hearts of our
and we seek to engage the hearts of our
and we seek to engage the hearts of our heroes that we’re talking to when you
heroes that we’re talking to when you
heroes that we’re talking to when you take your podium and tap your baton on
take your podium and tap your baton on
take your podium and tap your baton on the music stand what happens next will
the music stand what happens next will
the music stand what happens next will take your breath away thank you
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