I’m not a quitter
I don’t quit I’ll stay on and finishes
I’m not a quitter
I don’t quit I’ll stay on and finishes
I’ll stay in a job I think every day I
get home late undervalued all drenched
but odds risky to provide best in fact I
liquid I don’t do it I’ll see ya I’m not
[Music]
completely mad and the piggy is pretty
bad and it’s making me quite stressed
but I’m not like all the rest because
I’m not a quitter
I don’t quit I’ll finish I don’t quit
I’ll do my confidence is plummeting
I’m not sleeping got quite min voice is
breaking feel depressed but I’m not
gonna take a rest
cuz I’m not a quitter I don’t quit I
stay on and finish it I’m not a quitter
I don’t quit I’ll stay on and finish it
I’m not a creep come quick update on and
finish it I medicate I don’t quit a day
jots a word they sent me home I’ve just
been drinking here alone
marriage broken I’m a mess
can’t do anything but rest but I’m not a
quitter the hardest part of any
challenge I think it’s that moment you
realize just don’t want to do it anymore
that sinking feeling that something you
once loved just isn’t working but you’re
wondering am i miserable enough to go
through the process of quitting I know
that agonizing indecision of quitting so
well I left a career and teaching made
the difficult decision to fold to
startups that were very close to my
heart
decided not to run a marathon I
accidentally signed up for and don’t get
me started on dry January 12 days but in
each of these situations even though I
knew it was the right decision even
though after the initial uncertainty
there was this space for new and great
adventures even though every time I quit
I learned more about how I wanted to
live my life nevertheless I felt so much
shame and guilt for quitting was I just
being a coward maybe someone else would
have been able to cope better in the
situation maybe I just hadn’t worked
hard enough in the past few years we
have been force-fed buzzwords of
resilience and grit we’ve been told the
strongest people are those who never
give up but I’ve seen one too many
friends and myself push themselves to
breaking point in the name of stoic
resilience not quitting even though
you’re on
P is like buying a pack of cigarettes
smoking – and being like oh I feel sick
but I better finish the pack anyway
because that’s what everyone’s expecting
and I might like it if I keep smoking so
last year I put on face book my
proposition that our societal aversion
to quitting was keeping many of us in
really unhappy and unhealthy situations
for much longer than necessary in the
next 48 hours I was inundated with
responses everyone had a story about
quitting commuting three hours a day
there and back to be bullied by my boss
giving up a dream career as a
professional musician because I was
miserable being in an unhappy
relationship but not wanting to have
that conversation getting two weeks into
a two-year job abroad and throwing I’d
made the wrong decision and I had so
many more so I sent out a survey 84% of
people said they would not want to be
called a quitter one in ten said they
had been unhappy in these situations for
over four years of their life and the
impact mental health problems loss of
confidence depression alcoholism giving
up on creative dreams wasting years of
my life and why do people why didn’t
people quit even though 90% of people
said once they did quit / / improve
their overall well-being happiness as
one person put it I felt there would be
a black mark forever if I quit
at what point did we put not being a
quitter on a pedestal above our own
happiness nature quits all the time
leaves don’t hang on the trees worrying
what their boss the oak tree is gonna
think of them they don’t deliberates
hanging on for one more winter hope it
gets better in the spring
no once they’ve given their nutrients
the tree and it no longer serves them to
be there they fall down
the leaves that fool are still useful
because they decompose and the nutrients
go back into the soil
do you not happens to the leaves that
remember this it may feel selfish to be
leaving a situation like you’re
abandoning ship like you’re only
thinking of your own needs if you leave
at that moment you still have energy to
put into other projects are the
relationships to your next steps if you
stay you’re basically as useful as a
frozen leaf and I want to be clear this
isn’t about quitting being better than
staying it’s about asking a different
question altogether imagine if you’re in
a difficult situation at work and it’s
getting you down if you ask should I go
it if immediately brings in connotations
of not coping of giving up what if we
were like the leaves on the tree and
simply asked does it still serve me to
be here suddenly there’s a shift from
one of a poisoning of failing and not
coping to empowerment choice
responsibility this puts you in the
driving seat and you can make an
informed decision when you’re hungry you
eat when you’re tired you sleep when
something no longer serves you
you quit how do you know if something no
longer 30 because quite frankly so often
the stress that has been normalized in
our society is insane and I know that
when I was teaching I found it hard but
I hadn’t realized how burnt-out I was I
woke up every morning in my final year
of teaching dreading going to work I was
often so late I was on the bus with my
students and I actually ended up in the
hospital
because I was so dehydrated from my back
to back coffees and not drinking enough
water
and I lay in the hospital bed my baked
the doctor to let me leave because I had
to take my students on a school trip and
she was like no you need to stay in that
and when I finally left I remembered a
summer but your music and dancing my
kitchen
and having this realization that I
hadn’t had that much energy for years
and she started crying because I was
like how could I have been this out of
touch with myself like I was REME eating
the me before I started that job and
that really scared me because I knew I’d
been tired but I hadn’t realized how bad
it had been so when you’re in the thick
of it how can you tell well what if we
did something we very rarely do anymore
what if we could take a moment sit in
silence and ask our bodies ask our
bodies this is something I didn’t do at
all when I was teaching but this summer
I had a different experience I spent
five weeks walking across northern Spain
doing the Camino I don’t know if anyone
has done it and every day for 35 days I
had to ask myself how far I wanted to
walk and some days I drove myself mad
trying to logically work out what the
right thing to do was like had I walked
far enough had I pushed myself enough
what would it mean if I gave up after
six kilometres after a while I started
to ask my feet I was wearing different
shoes to these that’s my feet what they
wanted to do and at first it seemed
really weird but I always got a response
some things they’d be like yes let’s
walk another 10k and some days they
would go we are stopping at the next
town and we were getting a beer and it
was always the right thing the other
question I asked my feet was what option
feels like a relief and again it was the
right thing like you may feel the relief
is going to be the easy option or the
one that takes less effort but sometimes
it’s a relief to continue and we just
need that reassurance and in those
moments we need to draw on our grit and
resilience but to stop we need to draw
an honesty
and courage and it doesn’t matter what
anyone else is doing yes other people
may be able to walk further work harder
love longer your body always intuitive
ly knows what’s best for you so many of
us are putting our lives on hold with
this quitting paralysis but what I fling
fascinating is that in the startup world
failing fast and changing direction is
essential for the evolution of any idea
Steve Jobs famously looked in the mirror
every day and asked am i still happy
with the way I’m living my life and his
company did all right in that what if we
saw ourselves as the entrepreneurs of
our lives instead of quitting
we’d be innovating updating adapting and
pivoting so that we could function at
our best and bring real value to the
world what if when people said they
wanted to quit instead of judging them
we championed them on their great life
innovation they’re a cute awareness of
what they need it at that stage in their
life how would that change the amount of
people signing off work with burnout
unhappy marriages continuing people
feeling totally lost we all have the
power to shift this stigma around
quitting I want in future generations
people to be saying apparently in the
olden days you weren’t allowed to quit
it was really shameful we can do that
but it takes every single one of us and
it takes that question and getting
really honest does this still serve me
the leaves don’t deliberate on when to
leave the tree they just fall off when
they’re ready they’d freeze to death if
they stuck around but instead they
decompose and give their nutrients to
the ground
and how many changes has it take to take
a light bulb
what if our lives were just the same
twisting and turning adjusting learning
innovating every day see you gotta asked
us this still serve me and know the
answers right for you take a moment of
quiet does this still serve me here you
know what you’ve got to do Steve Jobs
looked into the mirror every day and
asked if he still liked what he was
doing if the answer was yes you’d carry
on that’s why every one of us carries an
iPhone remember that life is a constant
innovation today is just one prototype
it’s not about who’s holding on longest
it’s a question for you what’s right
sowhat’s yourself does this still serve
me here and know the answers right for
you take a moment if quiet does this
still serve me create space for
something new remember the trees
freezing to death one the trees
remember the leaves freezing to death on
the trees remember I know what I’ve got
he change I’ve gotta ask right for me
take a moment of quiet
they still love me I know what I’ve got
to do the leaves don’t ask permission to
fall down thanks very much [Applause]
I don’t quit I’ll stay on and finishes
I’m not a quitter
I don’t quit I’ll stay on and finishes
I’ll stay in a job I think every day I
get home late undervalued all drenched
but odds risky to provide best in fact I
liquid I don’t do it I’ll see ya I’m not
[Music]
completely mad and the piggy is pretty
bad and it’s making me quite stressed
but I’m not like all the rest because
I’m not a quitter
I don’t quit I’ll finish I don’t quit
I’ll do my confidence is plummeting
I’m not sleeping got quite min voice is
breaking feel depressed but I’m not
gonna take a rest
cuz I’m not a quitter I don’t quit I
stay on and finish it I’m not a quitter
I don’t quit I’ll stay on and finish it
I’m not a creep come quick update on and
finish it I medicate I don’t quit a day
jots a word they sent me home I’ve just
been drinking here alone
marriage broken I’m a mess
can’t do anything but rest but I’m not a
quitter the hardest part of any
challenge I think it’s that moment you
realize just don’t want to do it anymore
that sinking feeling that something you
once loved just isn’t working but you’re
wondering am i miserable enough to go
through the process of quitting I know
that agonizing indecision of quitting so
well I left a career and teaching made
the difficult decision to fold to
startups that were very close to my
heart
decided not to run a marathon I
accidentally signed up for and don’t get
me started on dry January 12 days but in
each of these situations even though I
knew it was the right decision even
though after the initial uncertainty
there was this space for new and great
adventures even though every time I quit
I learned more about how I wanted to
live my life nevertheless I felt so much
shame and guilt for quitting was I just
being a coward maybe someone else would
have been able to cope better in the
situation maybe I just hadn’t worked
hard enough in the past few years we
have been force-fed buzzwords of
resilience and grit we’ve been told the
strongest people are those who never
give up but I’ve seen one too many
friends and myself push themselves to
breaking point in the name of stoic
resilience not quitting even though
you’re on
P is like buying a pack of cigarettes
smoking – and being like oh I feel sick
but I better finish the pack anyway
because that’s what everyone’s expecting
and I might like it if I keep smoking so
last year I put on face book my
proposition that our societal aversion
to quitting was keeping many of us in
really unhappy and unhealthy situations
for much longer than necessary in the
next 48 hours I was inundated with
responses everyone had a story about
quitting commuting three hours a day
there and back to be bullied by my boss
giving up a dream career as a
professional musician because I was
miserable being in an unhappy
relationship but not wanting to have
that conversation getting two weeks into
a two-year job abroad and throwing I’d
made the wrong decision and I had so
many more so I sent out a survey 84% of
people said they would not want to be
called a quitter one in ten said they
had been unhappy in these situations for
over four years of their life and the
impact mental health problems loss of
confidence depression alcoholism giving
up on creative dreams wasting years of
my life and why do people why didn’t
people quit even though 90% of people
said once they did quit / / improve
their overall well-being happiness as
one person put it I felt there would be
a black mark forever if I quit
at what point did we put not being a
quitter on a pedestal above our own
happiness nature quits all the time
leaves don’t hang on the trees worrying
what their boss the oak tree is gonna
think of them they don’t deliberates
hanging on for one more winter hope it
gets better in the spring
no once they’ve given their nutrients
the tree and it no longer serves them to
be there they fall down
the leaves that fool are still useful
because they decompose and the nutrients
go back into the soil
do you not happens to the leaves that
remember this it may feel selfish to be
leaving a situation like you’re
abandoning ship like you’re only
thinking of your own needs if you leave
at that moment you still have energy to
put into other projects are the
relationships to your next steps if you
stay you’re basically as useful as a
frozen leaf and I want to be clear this
isn’t about quitting being better than
staying it’s about asking a different
question altogether imagine if you’re in
a difficult situation at work and it’s
getting you down if you ask should I go
it if immediately brings in connotations
of not coping of giving up what if we
were like the leaves on the tree and
simply asked does it still serve me to
be here suddenly there’s a shift from
one of a poisoning of failing and not
coping to empowerment choice
responsibility this puts you in the
driving seat and you can make an
informed decision when you’re hungry you
eat when you’re tired you sleep when
something no longer serves you
you quit how do you know if something no
longer 30 because quite frankly so often
the stress that has been normalized in
our society is insane and I know that
when I was teaching I found it hard but
I hadn’t realized how burnt-out I was I
woke up every morning in my final year
of teaching dreading going to work I was
often so late I was on the bus with my
students and I actually ended up in the
hospital
because I was so dehydrated from my back
to back coffees and not drinking enough
water
and I lay in the hospital bed my baked
the doctor to let me leave because I had
to take my students on a school trip and
she was like no you need to stay in that
and when I finally left I remembered a
summer but your music and dancing my
kitchen
and having this realization that I
hadn’t had that much energy for years
and she started crying because I was
like how could I have been this out of
touch with myself like I was REME eating
the me before I started that job and
that really scared me because I knew I’d
been tired but I hadn’t realized how bad
it had been so when you’re in the thick
of it how can you tell well what if we
did something we very rarely do anymore
what if we could take a moment sit in
silence and ask our bodies ask our
bodies this is something I didn’t do at
all when I was teaching but this summer
I had a different experience I spent
five weeks walking across northern Spain
doing the Camino I don’t know if anyone
has done it and every day for 35 days I
had to ask myself how far I wanted to
walk and some days I drove myself mad
trying to logically work out what the
right thing to do was like had I walked
far enough had I pushed myself enough
what would it mean if I gave up after
six kilometres after a while I started
to ask my feet I was wearing different
shoes to these that’s my feet what they
wanted to do and at first it seemed
really weird but I always got a response
some things they’d be like yes let’s
walk another 10k and some days they
would go we are stopping at the next
town and we were getting a beer and it
was always the right thing the other
question I asked my feet was what option
feels like a relief and again it was the
right thing like you may feel the relief
is going to be the easy option or the
one that takes less effort but sometimes
it’s a relief to continue and we just
need that reassurance and in those
moments we need to draw on our grit and
resilience but to stop we need to draw
an honesty
and courage and it doesn’t matter what
anyone else is doing yes other people
may be able to walk further work harder
love longer your body always intuitive
ly knows what’s best for you so many of
us are putting our lives on hold with
this quitting paralysis but what I fling
fascinating is that in the startup world
failing fast and changing direction is
essential for the evolution of any idea
Steve Jobs famously looked in the mirror
every day and asked am i still happy
with the way I’m living my life and his
company did all right in that what if we
saw ourselves as the entrepreneurs of
our lives instead of quitting
we’d be innovating updating adapting and
pivoting so that we could function at
our best and bring real value to the
world what if when people said they
wanted to quit instead of judging them
we championed them on their great life
innovation they’re a cute awareness of
what they need it at that stage in their
life how would that change the amount of
people signing off work with burnout
unhappy marriages continuing people
feeling totally lost we all have the
power to shift this stigma around
quitting I want in future generations
people to be saying apparently in the
olden days you weren’t allowed to quit
it was really shameful we can do that
but it takes every single one of us and
it takes that question and getting
really honest does this still serve me
the leaves don’t deliberate on when to
leave the tree they just fall off when
they’re ready they’d freeze to death if
they stuck around but instead they
decompose and give their nutrients to
the ground
and how many changes has it take to take
a light bulb
what if our lives were just the same
twisting and turning adjusting learning
innovating every day see you gotta asked
us this still serve me and know the
answers right for you take a moment of
quiet does this still serve me here you
know what you’ve got to do Steve Jobs
looked into the mirror every day and
asked if he still liked what he was
doing if the answer was yes you’d carry
on that’s why every one of us carries an
iPhone remember that life is a constant
innovation today is just one prototype
it’s not about who’s holding on longest
it’s a question for you what’s right
sowhat’s yourself does this still serve
me here and know the answers right for
you take a moment if quiet does this
still serve me create space for
something new remember the trees
freezing to death one the trees
remember the leaves freezing to death on
the trees remember I know what I’ve got
he change I’ve gotta ask right for me
take a moment of quiet
they still love me I know what I’ve got
to do the leaves don’t ask permission to
fall down thanks very much [Applause]
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