on the 14th of August 2014 the day I
broke my neck
two months previously I started a new
job an exciting change they hope to
herald a new chapter in my career as a
veterinary surgeon one month previously
I completed the famous line Megan
marches as part of my army reserve team
a hundred miles of road marching over
four days and in one week’s time my
husband and I were due to go sailing
around the west coast of Wales life was
busy and life felt good but on that
beautiful August morning as I was
cycling to work a collision with a black
Mondeo which changed my life forever a
collision that broke all the banks in my
face damaged my shoulder broke my back
broke my neck and devastated me caused
the spinal cord injury and tetraplegia
now I’ve had my fair share of challenges
through my life I’ve rowed competitively
for my university I’ve been deployed to
Afghanistan and for years I ran a busy
veterinary hospital in the center of
Cardiff I’ve always thought of
challenges there’s something exciting
something inspiring
they’ll be difficult and they’ll test
your abilities but that’s part of the
motivation that’s part of the reason why
you choose to take them on and there was
the key difference I’d always chosen
those challenges I’d wanted to do them I
hadn’t chosen this now I know that
broken necks happen but they happen to
other people don’t they not to me lying
there in I to you as the ventilator
breathe for me
I realised that I had become one of
those other people
and it didn’t seem real I was facing the
greatest challenge of my life and it was
one that I desperately didn’t want my
husband held my hand and as the reality
of my injury sank in he whispered to me
we’re strong we can do this you can do
this and I thought maybe he’s right I
can do this I will do this and in that
moment I vowed to be positive to look
forwards I may not have had a choice
about my broken neck but I did have a
choice about something and that was my
approach and you know what I’m on the
shock and the disbelief about my injury
making that decision to be positive it
shifted my whole perspective because it
was a choice that I had made and
suddenly I felt like I was one step
closer to being back in control maybe
not in control of my paralyzed body but
in control of how I was going to embrace
this challenge so how did I do it
making the decision to be positive
that’s the easy bit but staying positive
that’s the hard part and I learned three
things number one celebrate the small
wins to start I couldn’t find anything
good about my newly paralyzed body and I
had to go searching for the positives
however small and treat them as a win so
I did and I surprised myself the more I
look for them the more I found coming
off the ventilator and being able to
talk again the removal of my track EOS
to me the taste of real food after 15
days have been achieved fed or winds
moving from my to you to the spinal Ward
and been given special glasses that
transformed my view of the ceiling to
one where I could actually see my
visitors even if I did look ridiculous
both wins and in celebrating the small
wins I noticed they built into bigger
wins their needs to push objects around
my table with my paralyzed hands win
to pick up phone balls that the
physiotherapist recommended bigger win
but learning to pick up giant chocolate
buttons and get them in my mouth
huge win I was lucky I am lucky my
injury is incomplete and I started to
get recovery I could celebrate being
held upright for the first time in ten
weeks the independence of getting my own
manual wheelchair and the sheer delight
have taken my first steps in the
parallel bars even if I did have a bag
of catheterized urine sloshing around my
ankles each improvement made me hungry
for the next I knew that I’d never get
all my function back at some point my
recovery would Plateau however hard I
work for or however much I wanted that
next improvement it didn’t mean that it
would come and that’s the other reason
to celebrate the small wins in life
because you never know when they might
end don’t hold out for tomorrow’s finale
you might always be waiting instead find
the win for today take it and enjoy it
the second thing I learnt you have to
work at it making the decision to be
positive it wasn’t some quick
psychological fix and I found it tough I
find it tough I struggled to stay
positive through the nausea of urinary
catheter infections through the
claustrophobia of my neck brace and the
seemingly endless 60 days of completely
flat bed rest
the tears of neuropathic pain and spasms
it was the parts that never returned
that were the hardest the paralyzed
fingers that barely move and the bladder
and bowels that follow their own
these were not the areas for celebration
all the things that my friends
congratulated me on but this is where I
needed all my resolve to stay positive
so I worked at it and I still work at it
I don’t want to be angry or waste my
energy on what-ifs what if that driver
had taken a moment longer to look before
turning
what if I broken my neck but my spinal
cord is still intact no I wanted to be
positive so I looked for and celebrated
those small wins and I kept repeating my
mantra stay positive look for words and
the more I repeated it the more I found
I believed it and the more I believed it
the more I felt like I took control of
my situation rather than it taking
control of me and the final thing I
learned different can be good one of the
hardest things I’ve had to do is to
grieve for my old life I’m never going
to be a clinical veterinary surgeon
again nor have the chance to better my
37 minute 10k PB and my career is a
veteran officer in the Army Reserves is
over trying to hold on to those things
just reminding me of my disability I had
to grieve to move on and realize that I
was never going to recreate my
pre-accident life life was going to be
different but different can be good
I’ve played wheelchair tennis and
wheelchair rugby
I mean sit water skiing and sit skiing
I’ve been gliding whitewater kayaking
and recumbent cycling and I would love
to tell you that this is the start of my
journey to become a para athletes but
I’ll let you into a secret I couldn’t
throw a catch before my accident and I
sure can’t do it now instead getting
involved in those activities meant I met
people that both humbled and inspired me
in their approach to life and the people
that inspired me the most
not the Paralympians or the charity
ambassadors but those people who however
severe their injuries were just quietly
getting on with their everyday lives
they showed me that it was possible to
adapt but I didn’t need my disability to
define me when I was rebuilding my post
accident life and they show me that
there was no reason why I could not have
an ordinary life just like anybody else
I’ve come to realize that this challenge
was never about success or failure
there’s no such thing
it was about taking control of it so
that it did not take control of me and
for me that was by making the decision
to aim to be positive to celebrate the
wins in life to work at enjoying it and
to embrace the fact that it would never
be the same again
so where am I now it’s three and a half
years since my accident and I’m
permanently disabled an incomplete
tetraplegic but I’m lucky after two
years in rehab
I can walk short distances on crutches I
can use my paralyzed hands to the best
of their ability and I can drive I’m
studying for a master’s in Vitoria
epidemiology I’m about to start training
to be a magistrate in Cardiff and most
importantly I’m thoroughly enjoying
being mum to one-year-old William I may
not have chosen this life but I’m
embracing the challenge of taking back
control and I’m determined to make the
most of it thank you [Applause]