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How to start losing | Andrea De Beni | TEDxTorinoSalon


[Music]
we are used to imagine victories
and the defeats as precise moments
short that happen in our life in
our daily
in our sport route le
we often visualize through the
metaphor of the roller coaster where the
wins are the upward peaks and the
defeats are the lowest points
beat in depth moments of
very short duration
imagine the Olympic athlete that you
finds on the podium and finally at the neck
that their much desired at that moment
he is savoring victory but
definitely behind him in his
the defeats have been many
today’s route will instead try to
see when the defeat arrives in a
moment completely unexpected when the
defeat arrives even before the
match starts I was born with one
congenital leg malformation
right and this explains the use of the
presentation and images one without
a leg can certainly not speak to
arm
life itself has presented itself to me
account before you can even start it
now it’s not that life was disgusting
when he was a kid
he simply was not giving me everything
what I could take from it thing
It happens when you lose even before
begin
Well then let’s start talking a bit
me so we can get inside
this path ok and I was the prototype
of the loser
needless to turn around you raise your hand who
of you has been teased at least one
Once courage do not be shy I see you again
I see you so much is not that the video then
he ends up on the duck if millions see him
of people
stay inter nos ok well then I was the
prototype of loser loser
because you can see in the image here
above that the air was not in the most
smart clothing even
beyond that I had the glasses I had
the appliance
in short, I was a collector of reasons
so be teased
adding everything I walked badly
I ran little is skipped 0 well today we are
used to measuring appreciation
of the people with the likes we receive
in this social world in which we live
at the time there were no likes there were
phone calls and phone calls from friends
to be able to go out in the afternoon and do
sport together nor received 0 for non
talk about girls, in short, we do
lose well because this happened
because I thought of myself as a
that missing leg
I synthesized I was my leg when
I woke up in the morning was she who
I was thinking of my diversity at
difference between me and all the others
people at my leg
I gave a lot of guilt
not to go out with those little girls I gave
the blame on my leg, for example, not
I know for parents who were fighting in
home but we can also go up more
large scale
Italy out of the world’s fault of the
my leg
the war in iraq the fault of the leg
and so on so in short, here’s that
that I told you about life first
it was exactly the most beautiful thing that I did
they were living up to that moment
but then something happens captain two
meetings that change this path
meetings are held with people and
they are the people who can change the
course of a lifetime and can
do
acting in their most natural way
in everyday life
these two meetings take place in two
totally different contexts
the first is in budrio bologna centro
prosthesis the place to understand where
alex zanardi has returned to walk
and a two-sided place a two-sided
of the same coin we could say where
on the one hand we have innovation
robotic technology experimentation i
the most advanced and the other
instead it is clearly more than cut
hospital guess a little duties
I understood the second one very well
ok we said the hospital imagine
this huge prosthetic center
imagine an endless corridor with
to the left of this corridor i
laboratories in which they are built
the reservoirs and the prostheses that then go
on people
inside there are these workers who
strictly speaking only Bolognese
because obviously what you want it to be from
those parts to the right of the corridor
there are instead small rooms in the
which people try these prostheses
before you can then go back home
I’m with mom and dad is alone
inside one of these closets
imagine a dark room with a couple
of neon the locker to build the
I put a chair in front of me there is one
girl will have about 14 16 years me
I have a couple or less of her in this one
girl has a particularity and without a
arm and essence also the other arm
and it is without a leg and essence too
the other leg
mom and dad take it from under them
armpits and move it from the couch to the
chair to make them try the prostheses
I’m with mom, dad, but she too
compared to me he does something incredible
if we were in an innovation video
deep and ex we would say something disruptive
ok, do something incredible that I do
change your life forever
ride laughs tastefully
he laughs because he shows he loves his
life and do it with simplicity with joy
with generosity I too am there with mum
and dad but I do not have the same approach
that moment marks them forever
fundamental change in my way
to perceive my life
being on this earth I understand not
basically have nothing if you are
good with his body despite everything
if she approaches that way to life
and laughs
and it’s so serene my life can be
very cool the second big change
what happens takes place thanks to a
professor of physical education the
professor morra that I still thank
professor morra intuits pre first
compared to others who come out of
this embarrassment this indifference
this difficulty in living mine
body need something a half and
this means and the ball from
basketball that I find myself in hand and
which from that day began to use
pulling and pulling pulling pulling alive
for 24 years
pulling a basket in joy more
total based well I said pulling not
doing basketball basketball, I do not
he saved his life
the basketball gave me one
much more beautiful
compared to what I was living up to
at that moment the change is explained in a
conditioning and I have suffered
actively during this period of 24
years because you understand well that while you
he plays basketball
you do not count how many legs are underneath
the shorts a two does not matter it is
concentrate on doing what you love this
that passion drives at that moment
then attack and defend take
Rebounds steal ball I am so
concentrated in doing what I love that
I do not think about how many legs are under the
shorts and conditioning and how
a communicating vessel that begins to
fertilize other spheres of my being
living enters the personal sphere in
the professional one
I discover love and discover it thanks to
this conditioning that begins to like
a drop to dig inside of me and to
build that gallery of emotions
which brings me today to be here before
I start waking up in the morning and
do not think anymore
to be that leg I start to stop
to think only of her
now when I wake up in the morning I think
also to all the rest of my body
this epochal change is due to the
conditioning led me to be
the person I am today is something
in more of that leg that has me so much
characterized for a long time today are
I consider myself a normal person
I’m essentially a husband a dad
professional at work and this is the
great result that I believe I have
obtained are above all a person and
not a person with a handicap that
that was my defeat with which
this path that I wanted
sharing with you today has begun is
become my victory in everyday life
a victory that was studded with
a lot of doubts and questions would be
impossible not to mention one
above all it is the question of the questions
but now that you’re calm and you’re happy with
your body your life would have been
more beautiful if he had two legs
you would have achieved the same results
that you have achieved in the presence of one
alone is a question that typically occurs to me
they are children but I too am on me
I turned to myself a thousand times for
I answered
2 that hypocrisy of course two because
anyway I could reach them
same results or otherwise no more in
presence of two legs
in the years then I changed this
Vision basically if I’m here today
I have to that leg that is not there if I have
done a thousand things in my life
personal and professional and sporty
I owe it to that handicap that I do so much
ashamed when I was a kid
yet there is a third way of understanding them
what’s this
a third way now that the backs would be
if there was not at least one quote
impossible then we draw from the world
of the quotes and we share neither one of
Lombard beans coach of the nfl that
in the 60s
he won three nfl titles with the green bay
packers miss lombardi dad enrico
Lombards and clear navy mother
Italian origins so we stay in one
local theme such as tex well vis lombardi
he said the measure of who we are and that
what we do with what we have this
it synthesizes both the message and me
I would like to share with you today we pass
much of our time concentrated
looking for what’s outside us
same as what we do not have
we spend most of our time a
try to be something that we are not
to own something or someone who does not
is with us when in reality for
reach certain goals
important in our life
what we have to do and maximize
ourselves maximize means to go
looking for the top of and beautiful better than
anything can be next
perfectly
yet always Lombard vins incitement
number 2 says perfection is not of
this world has not only told him but
it is chasing the perfection we get
excellence and excellence is what
dominates everything I’ve done in
these years on a sporting level
to the point that then other questions I have
received species from friends who me
they know better they were of the type but
you because you do it
especially because you do it with this
intensity but what do you want to show
you want to prove you’re going over certain
limits for yourself for others
because it’s around you
the question like a labeled bomb
inside of me for years and then finally
an answer came out because or in the
receive such a question are not
I managed to answer right away I got it
thought a lot and I played 24 years a
basketball and I played basketball in
feet with people with two biped legs
thank you
so they come on two feet for ten
I’ve raced with the quad and it’s not a year
course in the home garden but I did
international competitions or course five times
the world championship in the handicap category
I won three are twice
arrived second
returning to talk about basketball ho
shot a video with the national team
Italian basketball team
I trained with the series in short
I can never touch it slowly today
practical crossfit and practice it with
an intensity equal to what I have done
in other disciplines and this has me
brought to participate as a first
disabled in Italy at a demonstration
crossfit and many others will be
doors that I hope to open soon
so why this intensity
the reason that binds these three disciplines
which explains why I chose to do
this and maybe do not play chess
with all due respect to chess or
play curling and because these three
sports have a common thread that unites them
and it’s the chance they give me
go and really touch those that
my weaknesses are my difficulties
I believe that to become the version
possible of ourselves the goal is it
purpose of this mission that we have and
compare with those that are
our worst private parts with side
dark that we have the holes of
screenplay the shortcomings the defects
just so we can improve ourselves
working on the young on the part
worse than we have now started
this path with the figure
of the roller coaster those peaks in others
peak moments in small moments
ok peaks that fade away in a moment
think of the word Italian success
in this it helps us and a participle
passed by the word happen and not a
case has passed it’s happened it’s over
you must already think about that to that
that comes later
defeat victories are often seen
like small moments but in reality
we can combine them all together and
understand that the path is much more
great from a single victory or from one
single defeat
all life can take one
different meaning is that which
at the beginning it was a defeat
become a whole life linked to
victory because victories do not exist
if there is not even a healthy, healthy dose
of defeats thanks thanks
[Applause]
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