all right my name is Judy 19 years old
freshly graduated from high school
perfectly fluent in Hungarian almost
that’s the one in English barely getting
by in Chinese and German are these fact
surprising for you foreign friends
visiting cigar festival for a week of
fun this might seem like an ordinary
situation but when I first held this
talk in front of the Hungarian audience
of Budapest people were giggling a week
from now I’ll be on a plane flying
towards New York City to attend NYU
where I’ll be surrounded by tens of
thousands of students from all across
the globe there I will just be another
American sounding Chinese student they
will not know that I lived the life of
an outsider for 19 years and Hungary a
country that they have probably never
even heard of they will not know that I
was ashamed of my heritage for years
they will not know how it feels to be
the only Chinese girl that my classmates
have ever talked to my talk is primarily
about me because I am not qualified to
talk for everyone just because we are
the same race I can only tell you my
side of the story but here’s the thing
there are 20,000 Chinese immigrants
living in the city yet I have never had
a Chinese classmate why do we talk about
diversity all the time but never
actually know how to approach someone
with different origins why do people
struggle so much with small talk around
to understand the conclusion I came to
I’d like to start with some basic
information about me and my upbringing
so to understand the conclusion I came
to I’d like to start with some basic
information about me I was born in
Budapest Hungary into a freshly
immigrated Chinese family my parents
just as many others worked hard at the
local Chinese market day by day since
they did not have much time for me I was
enrolled in the local kindergarten at
the tender age of 2 I grew up among
Hungarian children and worked my way up
to one a pop high school the city has
although none of my family members are
scholars I was always encouraged to
become the best student that can be now
why would I tell you all of the above
I wanted you to picture a child who look
different than her peers she attended
top schools nothing private or special
but academically strong institutions
where all her classmates from wealthy
and/or educated families for her and her
friends it wasn’t a question of going or
not going to university but rather which
famous unis in Hungary Germany England
or the US although she doesn’t like like
the idea of being naive and living in a
bubble she still did for most of her
life in the past year I’ve had a lot of
things going on last summer
I finished a course to become a
lifeguard for no other reason than being
bored in fall I was a senior stressed
out by my final exams I also started
bouldering in a course held mainly for
university students since I was
desperate to find a hobby that could get
me out of this dress during this time I
had the chance of meeting many new
people more importantly I had the chance
of meeting young people from all across
the country from all sorts of
backgrounds for the first time in my
life I was constantly surrounded by
people who grew up in towns went to the
only high school in the area
and we’re proud of getting into higher
education at all the one thing that was
common between the aspiring diplomat and
the teenage life guard from sickish for
heredad is the questions they asked it’s
always the following and always in the
exact same order number one where are
you from after an awkward pause I say
Budapest they look at me and if I feel
nice that day I tell them that my
family’s Chinese which brings us to
question number two which is oh so you
speak Chinese Mandarin isn’t it like
super hard maybe if I lied and said no
my life would be a lot easier I already
know what is coming now that’s so cool
can you tell me your name like your real
name doesn’t mean something
what’s my Chinese name at this point I
can barely stop myself from rolling my
eyes and finally question number four
what do you eat at home is it like the
spring rolls they sell in the buffets
but no dog right you see now that I’ve
mentioned these questions I’m sure you
are also super excited to know the
answers here’s the thing is it the first
time you think of these questions or
have you contemplated that many times
before but waited for the right person
to ask them from what stopped you from
looking them up I will not make it easy
for you but I will tell you some
generalized information that I find
interesting enough to share those who
moved here from mainland China I usually
come from smaller cities or rural areas
hoping for a better European life the
children born here normally attend the
chinese hungarian bilingual primary
school and afterwards they move on to
the school’s own high school or go to
the American International School of
Budapest
they decide to if they decide to
continue their studies they either have
a hard time getting into Hungarian
universities or go west they barely
speak Hungarian
but they’ve known all the swear word
since first grade most families speak
Mandarin at home use WeChat instead of
iMessage or whatsapp and send voice
messages instead of texts we don’t
exactly know what Christmas is about we
do have a fancy dinner and give each
other over price gifts but not many
would be able to tell you who Jesus was
New Year’s Eve is just another evening
for us
unlike Lunar New Year where everyone is
festive WeChat is full of red bags that
used to be actual envelopes but are now
just on our phones they contain one or
two scents that you can grab by clicking
on them which i think is a really
interesting way of tradition meeting
technology since it’s the only holiday
my parents grew up with it’s also the
only holiday I grew up with we use
chopsticks we do it rice with everything
and any dish can be perfected with a
dash of soy sauce now what about the
previous questions I mentioned why do
you ask them in the first place I told
you that I’m here to talk about myself
but let me do a bold move and try to
predict what you think please do tell me
if my interpretations are completely off
that’s the second one by one question
one was about my origins let’s be real
all you actually want to know is whether
there’s a secret to know which Asian
country the person is from but do you
think you’re the only one asking this do
you think it’s that easy to tell which
European country you are from just by
your looks
question number two was about the
language
I have sort of answered that one
previously so let’s say that I was
generous today but do you want to know
how it sounds do you want to learn about
the grammar and the pronunciations let
me give you a hint
it is literally free to learn Chinese
through the Confucius Institute working
hours may vary under four hundred and
forty-five offices worldwide but the
hospitality is always a plus or where
you just plain curious and did not have
any intentions of learning a whole new
language in that case you could look up
a Chinese soap opera online or wait
around for me to call my parents after I
finish this talk question number three
was about my name and your name now this
is actually interesting I mean for all
those who like this sort of stuff my
parents could probably tell you a ton
about its origins and our family name
and such but I’ll be honest I myself
never cared enough to remember why am i
required to as far as I know I’d rather
go by my english name Judy and by the
way I also have no idea what that one
question number four is a funny one
because to be frank you all know the
answer to this one you all know that
Chinese food tastes nothing like fast
food and yet you ask you ask us every
damn time let me challenge you this is
fry spaghetti bolognese to a person
who’s never tried noodles or tomatoes or
meat good luck now stop for a minute and
think of these questions once again can
you imagine being asked them all the
time because you see just as you are
curious about us we are curious about
you if you’ve ever been to China on
vacation you might have noticed that
people touch your hair take photos with
you and ask all sorts of silly questions
here’s my favorite one I was visiting my
relatives a couple years ago and a fresh
addition to the family he was super
excited to meet me
she came up to me sat down next to me on
the couch and touched my t-shirt hmm you
wear the same clothes in Europe
interesting do you see what my problem
is it’s not that I mind answering
questions we all have things we don’t
know about my problem is ignorance my
problem is that we are surrounded by
people and cultures and impacts yet we
don’t care enough to educate ourselves
it’s not about getting a good grade I
was supposedly in a topknot school it’s
about seeing something mildly
interesting and reading about it seeing
a movie about it
being open to the world for no other
reason than curiosity and humility I’m
not here to say that I am perfect I do
have questions – I feel tempted to touch
very curly hair as well I do get
interested in a country once I meet
someone from there but I try to remind
myself every day to stop think and put
my questions away for Google if the
person I’m talking to is kind enough to
share things with me I’m delighted if
I’m in a discussion about race and
cultures I’m happy to share my
experiences with others but why would I
want to talk to you in Chinese when I’m
getting drunk it’s again I am Hungarian
and I love living in Budapest
I’m also Chinese and could never give up
on my habit of better eating rice all
the time but I’m also more than your
Wikipedia article on festive dragons and
your target of cheap racial jokes I’m
also not the best person to answer my
Chinese relatives questions about the
famously fresh air of Europe what if you
looked at people differently after this
talk if you notice that they are of a
different country or is from a different
race that’s not a mistake that’s natural
get curious
research learn about the world that
surrounds you get to know that person’s
culture and customs through this great
thing called the internet or even better
readable
about it if you meet someone interesting
don’t ask him to say hi in all the
languages he knows ask him how his days
been ask him if he’s read your favorite
book ask him which Hogwarts house he
belongs to let him be himself and not a
single representative of his entire race
let’s talk let’s talk about feelings and
thoughts and all things beautiful and
ugly
let’s have discussions and not just questions thank you
freshly graduated from high school
perfectly fluent in Hungarian almost
that’s the one in English barely getting
by in Chinese and German are these fact
surprising for you foreign friends
visiting cigar festival for a week of
fun this might seem like an ordinary
situation but when I first held this
talk in front of the Hungarian audience
of Budapest people were giggling a week
from now I’ll be on a plane flying
towards New York City to attend NYU
where I’ll be surrounded by tens of
thousands of students from all across
the globe there I will just be another
American sounding Chinese student they
will not know that I lived the life of
an outsider for 19 years and Hungary a
country that they have probably never
even heard of they will not know that I
was ashamed of my heritage for years
they will not know how it feels to be
the only Chinese girl that my classmates
have ever talked to my talk is primarily
about me because I am not qualified to
talk for everyone just because we are
the same race I can only tell you my
side of the story but here’s the thing
there are 20,000 Chinese immigrants
living in the city yet I have never had
a Chinese classmate why do we talk about
diversity all the time but never
actually know how to approach someone
with different origins why do people
struggle so much with small talk around
to understand the conclusion I came to
I’d like to start with some basic
information about me and my upbringing
so to understand the conclusion I came
to I’d like to start with some basic
information about me I was born in
Budapest Hungary into a freshly
immigrated Chinese family my parents
just as many others worked hard at the
local Chinese market day by day since
they did not have much time for me I was
enrolled in the local kindergarten at
the tender age of 2 I grew up among
Hungarian children and worked my way up
to one a pop high school the city has
although none of my family members are
scholars I was always encouraged to
become the best student that can be now
why would I tell you all of the above
I wanted you to picture a child who look
different than her peers she attended
top schools nothing private or special
but academically strong institutions
where all her classmates from wealthy
and/or educated families for her and her
friends it wasn’t a question of going or
not going to university but rather which
famous unis in Hungary Germany England
or the US although she doesn’t like like
the idea of being naive and living in a
bubble she still did for most of her
life in the past year I’ve had a lot of
things going on last summer
I finished a course to become a
lifeguard for no other reason than being
bored in fall I was a senior stressed
out by my final exams I also started
bouldering in a course held mainly for
university students since I was
desperate to find a hobby that could get
me out of this dress during this time I
had the chance of meeting many new
people more importantly I had the chance
of meeting young people from all across
the country from all sorts of
backgrounds for the first time in my
life I was constantly surrounded by
people who grew up in towns went to the
only high school in the area
and we’re proud of getting into higher
education at all the one thing that was
common between the aspiring diplomat and
the teenage life guard from sickish for
heredad is the questions they asked it’s
always the following and always in the
exact same order number one where are
you from after an awkward pause I say
Budapest they look at me and if I feel
nice that day I tell them that my
family’s Chinese which brings us to
question number two which is oh so you
speak Chinese Mandarin isn’t it like
super hard maybe if I lied and said no
my life would be a lot easier I already
know what is coming now that’s so cool
can you tell me your name like your real
name doesn’t mean something
what’s my Chinese name at this point I
can barely stop myself from rolling my
eyes and finally question number four
what do you eat at home is it like the
spring rolls they sell in the buffets
but no dog right you see now that I’ve
mentioned these questions I’m sure you
are also super excited to know the
answers here’s the thing is it the first
time you think of these questions or
have you contemplated that many times
before but waited for the right person
to ask them from what stopped you from
looking them up I will not make it easy
for you but I will tell you some
generalized information that I find
interesting enough to share those who
moved here from mainland China I usually
come from smaller cities or rural areas
hoping for a better European life the
children born here normally attend the
chinese hungarian bilingual primary
school and afterwards they move on to
the school’s own high school or go to
the American International School of
Budapest
they decide to if they decide to
continue their studies they either have
a hard time getting into Hungarian
universities or go west they barely
speak Hungarian
but they’ve known all the swear word
since first grade most families speak
Mandarin at home use WeChat instead of
iMessage or whatsapp and send voice
messages instead of texts we don’t
exactly know what Christmas is about we
do have a fancy dinner and give each
other over price gifts but not many
would be able to tell you who Jesus was
New Year’s Eve is just another evening
for us
unlike Lunar New Year where everyone is
festive WeChat is full of red bags that
used to be actual envelopes but are now
just on our phones they contain one or
two scents that you can grab by clicking
on them which i think is a really
interesting way of tradition meeting
technology since it’s the only holiday
my parents grew up with it’s also the
only holiday I grew up with we use
chopsticks we do it rice with everything
and any dish can be perfected with a
dash of soy sauce now what about the
previous questions I mentioned why do
you ask them in the first place I told
you that I’m here to talk about myself
but let me do a bold move and try to
predict what you think please do tell me
if my interpretations are completely off
that’s the second one by one question
one was about my origins let’s be real
all you actually want to know is whether
there’s a secret to know which Asian
country the person is from but do you
think you’re the only one asking this do
you think it’s that easy to tell which
European country you are from just by
your looks
question number two was about the
language
I have sort of answered that one
previously so let’s say that I was
generous today but do you want to know
how it sounds do you want to learn about
the grammar and the pronunciations let
me give you a hint
it is literally free to learn Chinese
through the Confucius Institute working
hours may vary under four hundred and
forty-five offices worldwide but the
hospitality is always a plus or where
you just plain curious and did not have
any intentions of learning a whole new
language in that case you could look up
a Chinese soap opera online or wait
around for me to call my parents after I
finish this talk question number three
was about my name and your name now this
is actually interesting I mean for all
those who like this sort of stuff my
parents could probably tell you a ton
about its origins and our family name
and such but I’ll be honest I myself
never cared enough to remember why am i
required to as far as I know I’d rather
go by my english name Judy and by the
way I also have no idea what that one
question number four is a funny one
because to be frank you all know the
answer to this one you all know that
Chinese food tastes nothing like fast
food and yet you ask you ask us every
damn time let me challenge you this is
fry spaghetti bolognese to a person
who’s never tried noodles or tomatoes or
meat good luck now stop for a minute and
think of these questions once again can
you imagine being asked them all the
time because you see just as you are
curious about us we are curious about
you if you’ve ever been to China on
vacation you might have noticed that
people touch your hair take photos with
you and ask all sorts of silly questions
here’s my favorite one I was visiting my
relatives a couple years ago and a fresh
addition to the family he was super
excited to meet me
she came up to me sat down next to me on
the couch and touched my t-shirt hmm you
wear the same clothes in Europe
interesting do you see what my problem
is it’s not that I mind answering
questions we all have things we don’t
know about my problem is ignorance my
problem is that we are surrounded by
people and cultures and impacts yet we
don’t care enough to educate ourselves
it’s not about getting a good grade I
was supposedly in a topknot school it’s
about seeing something mildly
interesting and reading about it seeing
a movie about it
being open to the world for no other
reason than curiosity and humility I’m
not here to say that I am perfect I do
have questions – I feel tempted to touch
very curly hair as well I do get
interested in a country once I meet
someone from there but I try to remind
myself every day to stop think and put
my questions away for Google if the
person I’m talking to is kind enough to
share things with me I’m delighted if
I’m in a discussion about race and
cultures I’m happy to share my
experiences with others but why would I
want to talk to you in Chinese when I’m
getting drunk it’s again I am Hungarian
and I love living in Budapest
I’m also Chinese and could never give up
on my habit of better eating rice all
the time but I’m also more than your
Wikipedia article on festive dragons and
your target of cheap racial jokes I’m
also not the best person to answer my
Chinese relatives questions about the
famously fresh air of Europe what if you
looked at people differently after this
talk if you notice that they are of a
different country or is from a different
race that’s not a mistake that’s natural
get curious
research learn about the world that
surrounds you get to know that person’s
culture and customs through this great
thing called the internet or even better
readable
about it if you meet someone interesting
don’t ask him to say hi in all the
languages he knows ask him how his days
been ask him if he’s read your favorite
book ask him which Hogwarts house he
belongs to let him be himself and not a
single representative of his entire race
let’s talk let’s talk about feelings and
thoughts and all things beautiful and
ugly
let’s have discussions and not just questions thank you
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