one survivor of a accident but a
survivor of self-deprecation I survived
that’s me going up as a competitive
figure skater I was always told to watch
my figure I was always told that you can
only eat dinner before 5 p.m. or you can
only eat fruits and yogurt for dinner or
you have to run 40 times around the
track even after a rigorous ice skating
practice or no more matcha green tea
cakes no more ice cream no more burgers
no more fries and to me this this was
not a healthy sport environment because
on the ice I I fell over and over and
over again carrying my bruises and
scrapes with me as if they were my
keepsakes my coach would always tell me
practice makes perfect and she would
tell me to do my jumps and my spins over
and over and over again
I remember once after I fell after a
really hard jump the first thing my
coach came up to me and said was
Michelle have you been eating too many
snacks to me there was a dissociation
how could the quality of a jump that
that I did have to do with how much I
ate how
and so this sport environment soon
became one no longer based on the
competition of one’s jumps and spins but
became a competition around the sizes of
people’s waists and thighs the summer
before freshman year I stated hard I
have just landed one of the most
prestigious jumps I was actually
Shanghai’s first-ever person to land the
most prestigious jump of an amateur ice
skater the double axel and being one who
used to eat only what was MSG not free
and what was sugar not free and what was
not free and being one who used to hide
snacks and her mother’s basement to
avoid getting scolded by her mother I
decided to change things up I deprived
myself over and over and over again
because in my mind practice made perfect
that’s what my coach told me right and
soon enough I fell into something
horrible I resorted to eating as a
coping mechanism it started off with
more vegetables less everything else
practice makes perfect then it turned
into less vegetables less everything
else practice makes perfect then it
turned into more gym less vegetables
less everything else practice makes
perfect
I would tell my friends I was eating out
with my parents and tell my parents I
was eating out with my friends while I
ran into a room and chewed on nothing
but my own nails
practice makes perfect I was a social
outcast a pariah practice makes perfect
there were times when I stood on my
balcony for looking down at my first for
twenty-one beats per minute
my heartbeat dropped to twenty-one beats
per minute
I would cry every every single day and
go to sleep that day not knowing if I
would see the next C I deprived myself
in order to survive think about that for
a second I deprived myself in order to
live I would look at myself in the
mirror and immediately point to that
extra layer of fat on my stomach on my
thighs on my face and became a game of
hide-and-seek I saw food only in
categories and calories my worth became
so agonizingly measurable and soon
enough three months into the start of
2015 my freshman year I had reverted
back to my weight in seventh grade but
don’t worry
well first off anorexia nervosa is one
of the I mean the deadliest mental
disease in this world people often
associate it with aspirations to meet
unrealistic beauty standards or to fit
into a certain mold or to practice this
exercise of self control but what they
don’t see and the eight million people
in the United States diagnosed with
eating disorders with 1/3 of them
receiving treatment one-third of them
remaining chronically ill and one-third
of them dying is that these people are
not just simply triggered by a picture
they see on the magazine or a post they
see on WeChat they’re triggered by their
loss of self-worth self-worth my worse
had to be bought by the numbers on a
but don’t worry this story doesn’t just
end in numbers thankfully I was one of
the one-third of the population that was
able to receive treatment and I wouldn’t
have been able to do it if it weren’t
for some people I was able to meet a
life-saving doctor she was able to push
me over and over and over again because
she told me that practice makes perfect
and I gotta tell you I didn’t like being
told what to eat I didn’t like being
my family and friends I want to think
because if it weren’t for them I
wouldn’t have people texting me calling
me every single day making sure I was
okay if it weren’t for them I wouldn’t
have the encouragement to build myself
up and to rebuild my image my shape my
character but I learned that at the end
of the day despite all support systems
it comes down to yourself you are the
one who breaks down those mental
barriers you are the one who keeps
yourself on track you’re the one who
sets your own goals and so you may ask
what practical steps that I take every
single day what did I do every single
day to slowly recover and slowly gain
back my life well for you guys I have
six steps in ways that I practice every
single day to improve my well-being and
you just wake up from bed you’re about
to go to work you’re about to go to
school wake up look up in the sky and
tell yourself I’m grateful I am grateful
to be alive
I’m grateful to be human being I’m so
grateful to be able to feel to touch to
see to smell and then step number two
you know studies show I don’t have any
numbers but studies show that making
your bed actually improves the overall
efficiency of your day and with that you
start off as a clean slate
you’ll take all the junk out of your
system and then you go to your mirror to
wash your face as you’re washing your
face look at yourself in the mirror I
know this is cliche but look at yourself
in the mirror and tell yourself that
you’re beautiful
I know this practice we don’t commonly
do but trust me if you add this simple
exercise into your daily lives it will
work step 4 walk out go to work walk
with confidence because when you own
yourself that’s when you’re the most
self-acceptance when you’re the most
beautiful and as you enter work or your
classroom setting and people start
throwing negative comments that you walk
away because you don’t need that kind of
negativity in your life now step number
six as you’re about to go back to sleep
what’s your bed sheets covered over you
reflect on your day think to yourself
why you’re so grateful list three things
that you are grateful of for that day
one of my friends even created a
happiness chart what happens is that
every day after she comes home she
colors in the mood of her day you could
do that too it’s only when you stir up
those emotional human connections inside
of you that you’ll come full circle and
realize how grateful you are for being
alive now you may ask why is a sixteen
year old girl so brave enough to come on
the to this TEDx stage to share her own
story it’s because I’ve grown to love
myself it’s because I’ve grown to self
accept
you see once you’ve become someone who
loves yourself you start to put others
before you you start to prioritize other
people’s happiness before yours over the
summer I was able to go to the u.s. to
an eating disorders Resource Center and
I was able to volunteer there
I gave speeches sat in on discussions
and I met people with a range of eating
disorders including bulimia anorexia
nervosa and binge eating it was so
eye-opening so eye-opening to the point
that after I came back I decided to
start my own nonprofit organization
called Project magnify and what this
nonprofit organization does is it
campaigns for people who are struggling
with body image or eating disorders here
in Shanghai given that we are so unaware
of the things that happen here I just
want to tell you guys that six steps led
me to this stage today and six steps can
lead you to your own you see the same
discipline
that brought me down is now the same
discipline that’s bringing me back up
and at the end of the day after you go
to love yourself you’ll realize that
everything is worth it it doesn’t really
matter what stage you are at in
accepting yourself just know that your
what happened is that every day after
she comes home she colors any mood with
it you can do that too
it’s only when you stir up those
emotional connections inside of you that
nucleus will circle and relax objects
when you are through the life now you
may ask why is a sixteen year old girl
so brave enough to put on the to this
TEDx wave to share our story it’s
because I’m going to do not expect you
see once the Parliament was yourself you
start to put others before you we start
to prioritize other people’s happiness
before award over the summer I will be
able to go to the u.s. to an eating
disorders Research Center and I was able
to volunteer there I gave speeches that
came on discussion and I met people with
the range of eating disorders including
bulimia anorexia nervosa and binge
eating it was still opening so I believe
to the point that after I came back I
decided to start my own nonprofit
organization called Project magnet and
what this
if it campaigns for people who are
struggling body image or eating disorder
spirit hi
given that personal unaware of the
things that happen I just want to tell
you guys that six steps led me to this
stage today and
by the end of the day after you go to
love yourself you’ll realize that
everything is work it doesn’t really
matter what stage you are at in excess
of yourself just an old guy your journey begins today
survivor of self-deprecation I survived
that’s me going up as a competitive
figure skater I was always told to watch
my figure I was always told that you can
only eat dinner before 5 p.m. or you can
only eat fruits and yogurt for dinner or
you have to run 40 times around the
track even after a rigorous ice skating
practice or no more matcha green tea
cakes no more ice cream no more burgers
no more fries and to me this this was
not a healthy sport environment because
on the ice I I fell over and over and
over again carrying my bruises and
scrapes with me as if they were my
keepsakes my coach would always tell me
practice makes perfect and she would
tell me to do my jumps and my spins over
and over and over again
I remember once after I fell after a
really hard jump the first thing my
coach came up to me and said was
Michelle have you been eating too many
snacks to me there was a dissociation
how could the quality of a jump that
that I did have to do with how much I
ate how
and so this sport environment soon
became one no longer based on the
competition of one’s jumps and spins but
became a competition around the sizes of
people’s waists and thighs the summer
before freshman year I stated hard I
have just landed one of the most
prestigious jumps I was actually
Shanghai’s first-ever person to land the
most prestigious jump of an amateur ice
skater the double axel and being one who
used to eat only what was MSG not free
and what was sugar not free and what was
not free and being one who used to hide
snacks and her mother’s basement to
avoid getting scolded by her mother I
decided to change things up I deprived
myself over and over and over again
because in my mind practice made perfect
that’s what my coach told me right and
soon enough I fell into something
horrible I resorted to eating as a
coping mechanism it started off with
more vegetables less everything else
practice makes perfect then it turned
into less vegetables less everything
else practice makes perfect then it
turned into more gym less vegetables
less everything else practice makes
perfect
I would tell my friends I was eating out
with my parents and tell my parents I
was eating out with my friends while I
ran into a room and chewed on nothing
but my own nails
practice makes perfect I was a social
outcast a pariah practice makes perfect
there were times when I stood on my
balcony for looking down at my first for
twenty-one beats per minute
my heartbeat dropped to twenty-one beats
per minute
I would cry every every single day and
go to sleep that day not knowing if I
would see the next C I deprived myself
in order to survive think about that for
a second I deprived myself in order to
live I would look at myself in the
mirror and immediately point to that
extra layer of fat on my stomach on my
thighs on my face and became a game of
hide-and-seek I saw food only in
categories and calories my worth became
so agonizingly measurable and soon
enough three months into the start of
2015 my freshman year I had reverted
back to my weight in seventh grade but
don’t worry
well first off anorexia nervosa is one
of the I mean the deadliest mental
disease in this world people often
associate it with aspirations to meet
unrealistic beauty standards or to fit
into a certain mold or to practice this
exercise of self control but what they
don’t see and the eight million people
in the United States diagnosed with
eating disorders with 1/3 of them
receiving treatment one-third of them
remaining chronically ill and one-third
of them dying is that these people are
not just simply triggered by a picture
they see on the magazine or a post they
see on WeChat they’re triggered by their
loss of self-worth self-worth my worse
had to be bought by the numbers on a
but don’t worry this story doesn’t just
end in numbers thankfully I was one of
the one-third of the population that was
able to receive treatment and I wouldn’t
have been able to do it if it weren’t
for some people I was able to meet a
life-saving doctor she was able to push
me over and over and over again because
she told me that practice makes perfect
and I gotta tell you I didn’t like being
told what to eat I didn’t like being
my family and friends I want to think
because if it weren’t for them I
wouldn’t have people texting me calling
me every single day making sure I was
okay if it weren’t for them I wouldn’t
have the encouragement to build myself
up and to rebuild my image my shape my
character but I learned that at the end
of the day despite all support systems
it comes down to yourself you are the
one who breaks down those mental
barriers you are the one who keeps
yourself on track you’re the one who
sets your own goals and so you may ask
what practical steps that I take every
single day what did I do every single
day to slowly recover and slowly gain
back my life well for you guys I have
six steps in ways that I practice every
single day to improve my well-being and
you just wake up from bed you’re about
to go to work you’re about to go to
school wake up look up in the sky and
tell yourself I’m grateful I am grateful
to be alive
I’m grateful to be human being I’m so
grateful to be able to feel to touch to
see to smell and then step number two
you know studies show I don’t have any
numbers but studies show that making
your bed actually improves the overall
efficiency of your day and with that you
start off as a clean slate
you’ll take all the junk out of your
system and then you go to your mirror to
wash your face as you’re washing your
face look at yourself in the mirror I
know this is cliche but look at yourself
in the mirror and tell yourself that
you’re beautiful
I know this practice we don’t commonly
do but trust me if you add this simple
exercise into your daily lives it will
work step 4 walk out go to work walk
with confidence because when you own
yourself that’s when you’re the most
self-acceptance when you’re the most
beautiful and as you enter work or your
classroom setting and people start
throwing negative comments that you walk
away because you don’t need that kind of
negativity in your life now step number
six as you’re about to go back to sleep
what’s your bed sheets covered over you
reflect on your day think to yourself
why you’re so grateful list three things
that you are grateful of for that day
one of my friends even created a
happiness chart what happens is that
every day after she comes home she
colors in the mood of her day you could
do that too it’s only when you stir up
those emotional human connections inside
of you that you’ll come full circle and
realize how grateful you are for being
alive now you may ask why is a sixteen
year old girl so brave enough to come on
the to this TEDx stage to share her own
story it’s because I’ve grown to love
myself it’s because I’ve grown to self
accept
you see once you’ve become someone who
loves yourself you start to put others
before you you start to prioritize other
people’s happiness before yours over the
summer I was able to go to the u.s. to
an eating disorders Resource Center and
I was able to volunteer there
I gave speeches sat in on discussions
and I met people with a range of eating
disorders including bulimia anorexia
nervosa and binge eating it was so
eye-opening so eye-opening to the point
that after I came back I decided to
start my own nonprofit organization
called Project magnify and what this
nonprofit organization does is it
campaigns for people who are struggling
with body image or eating disorders here
in Shanghai given that we are so unaware
of the things that happen here I just
want to tell you guys that six steps led
me to this stage today and six steps can
lead you to your own you see the same
discipline
that brought me down is now the same
discipline that’s bringing me back up
and at the end of the day after you go
to love yourself you’ll realize that
everything is worth it it doesn’t really
matter what stage you are at in
accepting yourself just know that your
what happened is that every day after
she comes home she colors any mood with
it you can do that too
it’s only when you stir up those
emotional connections inside of you that
nucleus will circle and relax objects
when you are through the life now you
may ask why is a sixteen year old girl
so brave enough to put on the to this
TEDx wave to share our story it’s
because I’m going to do not expect you
see once the Parliament was yourself you
start to put others before you we start
to prioritize other people’s happiness
before award over the summer I will be
able to go to the u.s. to an eating
disorders Research Center and I was able
to volunteer there I gave speeches that
came on discussion and I met people with
the range of eating disorders including
bulimia anorexia nervosa and binge
eating it was still opening so I believe
to the point that after I came back I
decided to start my own nonprofit
organization called Project magnet and
what this
if it campaigns for people who are
struggling body image or eating disorder
spirit hi
given that personal unaware of the
things that happen I just want to tell
you guys that six steps led me to this
stage today and
by the end of the day after you go to
love yourself you’ll realize that
everything is work it doesn’t really
matter what stage you are at in excess
of yourself just an old guy your journey begins today
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