you may not realize it but some of you
are sitting on the secret to showing up
at work now you might be saying hey I
show up to work every day but that’s not
what I mean
I mean being seen heard even cared for
at work and why does that matter it’s a
number one challenge facing companies
today almost 70% of US workers are
disengaged and it’s costing businesses
five hundred and fifty billion dollars
every year listen I know I’m not telling
anything shocking here whether we’re an
employee or a CEO we see the benefits
that companies like Google and Zappos
have created in their culture and we
want these for ourselves we want to be
more connected with our colleagues feel
fulfilled and have an opportunity to
make a real impact one study found that
organizations with engaged employees
experienced a 19% increase in operating
profit over a 12-month period of time so
how can we get it it’s one thing to give
someone a nice desk maybe some perks but
how do we get people to like each other
even become friends in 1997 psychologist
or Thor Aaron conducted a famous
experiment that gives us a hint over the
course of 45 minutes participants asked
each other 36 questions and the question
started simply given the choice of
anyone whom would you want as a dinner
guest but soon they became much more
revealing if you were to die tonight
without the ability to communicate with
anyone what would you most regret not
telling them and why haven’t you told
them yet Aaron wanted to explore whether
complete strangers could bond informed
deep close friendships just by asking
questions so what do you think could
simply ask in questions be the basis of
lasting relationships yes
30% of the participants rated the
relationship they just created as closer
than the closest relationship in their
57% of the participants got together
after the study on their own and one of
the pairs got engaged and invited
everyone to the wedding imagine feeling
that way about the people that you spent
8 10 12 hours a day with at work so why
don’t we because we’re not showing up to
work
not really let me explain I worked with
this guy named Jim Jim is a very
successful CEO and a large organization
outside of work he’s laid-back caring
and helps others he coaches his son’s
little league baseball team and he
serves on the board of a charity but at
work he’s bossy and can be a real jerk
he often criticizes key leaders publicly
and his leaders are constantly anxious
because they never know what mood Jim is
going to be in his standoffish style
alienates him from employees and when he
walks around the office people feel like
they can’t approach him even though he
believes the exact opposite he’s missing
out on key ideas and feedback that’s
hurting company performance the thing is
there isn’t just one Jim there are
thousands of him in her I’ve worked with
hundreds of CEOs and executives over the
last two decades and I see it all the
time the way we connect engage outside
of work is different than inside so we
set out to discover why let’s think
about what we do when we’re outside of
work at play the role of play is to
connect with others it teaches us to
communicate and collaborate think about
what you do when you’re out play
activities events conversations and more
and a huge benefit of play is that it
makes us feel safe and that’s extremely
powerful in the workplace Google found
that psychological safety is the most
critical factor for maximizing team
performance and it’s the ability of
group members to connect on a personal
level to feel comfortable to ask
questions and to raise controversial
ideas google found that individuals on
teams with higher psychological safety
scores brought in more revenue and were
rated effective twice as often by Google
executives why because it leads to
better ideas by sharing and caring and
play is great at that play can bring
people together and allow them to open
up much quicker and by putting the focus
on the activity rather than the
conversation it reduces
self-consciousness introverts take
notice and that’s what Aaron was able to
do by setting up of gamed questions
he created lifelong connections just by
asking questions but these just weren’t
any questions they were vulnerable self
disclosures but before we can get these
types of conversations in a workplace in
the engagement we want we have to show
up and that’s not happening we dismiss
vulnerability in the workplace saving it
for our loved ones
think about when’s the last time you sat
down at work and shared a difficult
personal struggle to someone if you have
great most people aren’t doing it and if
we’re not we’re hiding who we are we’re
not fully engaging and that’s killing
our companies and killing us 42% of
people don’t have any friends at work
and loneliness is as dangerous as
smoking 15 cigarettes a day yet the
research overwhelmingly states that both
organizations and individuals win when
we prioritize building relationships
seventy percent of people said the
number one factor for having a happy
workplace is having friends
an employee with a closed work friend is
seven times more productive and loyal so
we need to find a way to foster the role
of play and psychological safety at work
and then it hit me the answer was there
all along
if plague is the easiest way for
engagement why not play at work could we
start by playing games like little kids
do quit Aaron’s experiment work with
colleagues
so I created a game it’s called the
cards against Montana tea and some of
you are literally sitting on them I did
say you were sitting on the secret to
showing up at work after all under your
chair is a card with a question on it
it’s an actual card from the game and
there are two types of questions there
are conversation starters what was your
favorite summer job and why and
connection questions which are much more
revealing if you could pick one year of
your life to do over which one would it
be and why now usually before we play
this game at work it comes after a short
activities such as a cooking class or
wine tasting and no not because there’s
alcohol involved but people need time to
decompress and transition their mindset
from work to play but this TEDx event is
a social event so we’re all good who has
a question that they will be willing to
read
the question is what superpower would
you like to have I want everyone to
think to themselves how would you answer
that question well I’ll go first
the sphere of power that I’d most like
to have is to be an early-morning riser
while I love my cup of coffee I’d love
to jump out of bed just like a
jackrabbit with that much energy see not
so hard
the game is question answer question
answer four to twelve people everyone
answers at least three questions take
the top card read it answer it
put it on the bottom next person goes to
keep the game going use a two minute
maximum and answering questions and the
leader starts out by answering a
connection question at the end of the
game everyone has one minute to share
one thing that they learned about three
different people what happens
well some people dive right in some
people take a little longer to get
warmed up people smile they laugh they
cry and they walk away feeling more
supported and connected with the group
and it carries into their performance
teams crush their metrics sales beats
forecasts there’s an immediate impact
afterwards why because you learn about
people’s histories their stories and
their struggles but it can’t end with a
game to create true engagement we have
to build on it we have to keep on
connecting we have to make it a company
priority we’ve got to build it in the
budgets we have to bet it in the culture
and core values because when people feel
cared for they put forth their best
effort because they don’t want to
disappoint other people and the results
productivity goes up costs go down more
collaboration more innovation lack of
engagement in the workplace is that an
epidemic proportion it’s killing
performance productivity and long term
success
the answer is connection and the
quickest way to jumpstart connection is
play it all starts with a simple
question you have one to ask go ask it
thank you and go play
[Applause]
you
are sitting on the secret to showing up
at work now you might be saying hey I
show up to work every day but that’s not
what I mean
I mean being seen heard even cared for
at work and why does that matter it’s a
number one challenge facing companies
today almost 70% of US workers are
disengaged and it’s costing businesses
five hundred and fifty billion dollars
every year listen I know I’m not telling
anything shocking here whether we’re an
employee or a CEO we see the benefits
that companies like Google and Zappos
have created in their culture and we
want these for ourselves we want to be
more connected with our colleagues feel
fulfilled and have an opportunity to
make a real impact one study found that
organizations with engaged employees
experienced a 19% increase in operating
profit over a 12-month period of time so
how can we get it it’s one thing to give
someone a nice desk maybe some perks but
how do we get people to like each other
even become friends in 1997 psychologist
or Thor Aaron conducted a famous
experiment that gives us a hint over the
course of 45 minutes participants asked
each other 36 questions and the question
started simply given the choice of
anyone whom would you want as a dinner
guest but soon they became much more
revealing if you were to die tonight
without the ability to communicate with
anyone what would you most regret not
telling them and why haven’t you told
them yet Aaron wanted to explore whether
complete strangers could bond informed
deep close friendships just by asking
questions so what do you think could
simply ask in questions be the basis of
lasting relationships yes
30% of the participants rated the
relationship they just created as closer
than the closest relationship in their
57% of the participants got together
after the study on their own and one of
the pairs got engaged and invited
everyone to the wedding imagine feeling
that way about the people that you spent
8 10 12 hours a day with at work so why
don’t we because we’re not showing up to
work
not really let me explain I worked with
this guy named Jim Jim is a very
successful CEO and a large organization
outside of work he’s laid-back caring
and helps others he coaches his son’s
little league baseball team and he
serves on the board of a charity but at
work he’s bossy and can be a real jerk
he often criticizes key leaders publicly
and his leaders are constantly anxious
because they never know what mood Jim is
going to be in his standoffish style
alienates him from employees and when he
walks around the office people feel like
they can’t approach him even though he
believes the exact opposite he’s missing
out on key ideas and feedback that’s
hurting company performance the thing is
there isn’t just one Jim there are
thousands of him in her I’ve worked with
hundreds of CEOs and executives over the
last two decades and I see it all the
time the way we connect engage outside
of work is different than inside so we
set out to discover why let’s think
about what we do when we’re outside of
work at play the role of play is to
connect with others it teaches us to
communicate and collaborate think about
what you do when you’re out play
activities events conversations and more
and a huge benefit of play is that it
makes us feel safe and that’s extremely
powerful in the workplace Google found
that psychological safety is the most
critical factor for maximizing team
performance and it’s the ability of
group members to connect on a personal
level to feel comfortable to ask
questions and to raise controversial
ideas google found that individuals on
teams with higher psychological safety
scores brought in more revenue and were
rated effective twice as often by Google
executives why because it leads to
better ideas by sharing and caring and
play is great at that play can bring
people together and allow them to open
up much quicker and by putting the focus
on the activity rather than the
conversation it reduces
self-consciousness introverts take
notice and that’s what Aaron was able to
do by setting up of gamed questions
he created lifelong connections just by
asking questions but these just weren’t
any questions they were vulnerable self
disclosures but before we can get these
types of conversations in a workplace in
the engagement we want we have to show
up and that’s not happening we dismiss
vulnerability in the workplace saving it
for our loved ones
think about when’s the last time you sat
down at work and shared a difficult
personal struggle to someone if you have
great most people aren’t doing it and if
we’re not we’re hiding who we are we’re
not fully engaging and that’s killing
our companies and killing us 42% of
people don’t have any friends at work
and loneliness is as dangerous as
smoking 15 cigarettes a day yet the
research overwhelmingly states that both
organizations and individuals win when
we prioritize building relationships
seventy percent of people said the
number one factor for having a happy
workplace is having friends
an employee with a closed work friend is
seven times more productive and loyal so
we need to find a way to foster the role
of play and psychological safety at work
and then it hit me the answer was there
all along
if plague is the easiest way for
engagement why not play at work could we
start by playing games like little kids
do quit Aaron’s experiment work with
colleagues
so I created a game it’s called the
cards against Montana tea and some of
you are literally sitting on them I did
say you were sitting on the secret to
showing up at work after all under your
chair is a card with a question on it
it’s an actual card from the game and
there are two types of questions there
are conversation starters what was your
favorite summer job and why and
connection questions which are much more
revealing if you could pick one year of
your life to do over which one would it
be and why now usually before we play
this game at work it comes after a short
activities such as a cooking class or
wine tasting and no not because there’s
alcohol involved but people need time to
decompress and transition their mindset
from work to play but this TEDx event is
a social event so we’re all good who has
a question that they will be willing to
read
the question is what superpower would
you like to have I want everyone to
think to themselves how would you answer
that question well I’ll go first
the sphere of power that I’d most like
to have is to be an early-morning riser
while I love my cup of coffee I’d love
to jump out of bed just like a
jackrabbit with that much energy see not
so hard
the game is question answer question
answer four to twelve people everyone
answers at least three questions take
the top card read it answer it
put it on the bottom next person goes to
keep the game going use a two minute
maximum and answering questions and the
leader starts out by answering a
connection question at the end of the
game everyone has one minute to share
one thing that they learned about three
different people what happens
well some people dive right in some
people take a little longer to get
warmed up people smile they laugh they
cry and they walk away feeling more
supported and connected with the group
and it carries into their performance
teams crush their metrics sales beats
forecasts there’s an immediate impact
afterwards why because you learn about
people’s histories their stories and
their struggles but it can’t end with a
game to create true engagement we have
to build on it we have to keep on
connecting we have to make it a company
priority we’ve got to build it in the
budgets we have to bet it in the culture
and core values because when people feel
cared for they put forth their best
effort because they don’t want to
disappoint other people and the results
productivity goes up costs go down more
collaboration more innovation lack of
engagement in the workplace is that an
epidemic proportion it’s killing
performance productivity and long term
success
the answer is connection and the
quickest way to jumpstart connection is
play it all starts with a simple
question you have one to ask go ask it
thank you and go play
[Applause]
you
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