there’s only one way you succeed
long-term anybody can get lucky do
something for a period of time but real
success and any measure whatsoever comes
when you do more for others than anybody
else there’s no other way to do it you
find a way to add more what value and if
we find the way to add more value we can
be superior in the marketplace but we
can also be steering our own lives we
can enjoy our lives that it is a level
got a different set of thrive it isn’t
fake it’s not ego Digos when you try to
make it better than it is and you know
the truth is it’s not but when you
really are in a position low when you’re
in a position where you own what you’re
about you know what here to deliver you
delivered on a significant scale then
you have an opportunity to really
experience not only successful
fulfilment and this conference has
gotten bigger and bigger not only in his
size but also in its impact and so I’m
really free little privileged to be back
with you here and I know you’re racing
working raised a million meals and I’m
very very end to hunger to say the least
primarily because I was so hungry at
stage of my life and my life was
completely changed because when I was 11
years old we had no money in those food
and we’ve gotten used to that that was
Thanksgiving which makes it more
emotional and my parents were saying and
doing things that have to say them you
can never take them back and it was very
profoundly he’s painful obviously for
myself the oldest trying to keep my
brother and sister steering it but it
profoundly changed because that day
something changed my life and it was
somebody simply coming and delivering
food and it wasn’t the person wasn’t
giving it it was a delivery guy and it
wasn’t in a happy moment for my father
it was interesting mama
I know my young mom and dad are yelling
each other my mom saying things my
father taking care of us pretty painful
moment and the door happens and I can
open the door and there’s this tall guy
standing there with these big bags of
food on the ground beside him he had
this pan with uncooked
turkey and he says your father here and
I said just one moment and I sprinted to
get my dad thinking this is gonna be the
most referred moment he could possibly
imagine like God had come by and
surprised as somebody cared about us but
he wanted to frame it and my father came
to the front door
the grudgingly when he saw the man he
got there
and he says you know we don’t take
charity they went to slam the door and
the man is very tall guiity put his arm
or shoulder against it it kind of
bounced off of them and he said sir this
is not charity everybody has tough times
and somebody knows you’re in need and
they want to have a beautiful
Thanksgiving please accept this gift my
father got even more intense and start
saying I don’t accept charity and this
pot in the man would slip there and
bounce off of it and then he said since
my father and I thought my father would
hit him he looked at my father and said
he looked at me in the background says
don’t let your family suffer because of
your ego it was intense worse I said my
father know what to do he grabbed the
food he slammed it down and slammed the
door
I tell you the story because everything
in our life is controlled by three
decisions and those three decisions are
like you look at today because I really
want to deliver for you I didn’t come
here to do a speech I love mark dearly I
really want to serve you and you all
give me the greatest gift you have your
time you get your money back but you
can’t get Steinbach if I really want to
serve you and I think one of most
powerful things we deserve you have you
become clear of what the controlling
force is that’s controlling the quality
of your lies and you and I both know
it’s not the amount of money in your
pocket it’s not who you know it’s not
even what you’ve been through it’s
really the decisions you make moment to
moment about a couple of doing things
and the three decisions I made in that
moment that I’d like to pull your
attention to just real quick are in this
moment you’re making these three
decisions by the way this first one is
what are you going to focus on and that
day my father focused clearly the fact
that he’d not take care of his family
and whatever you focus on you’re gonna
feel back money of us in this room hope
saver focus on something you were
thinking something horrible is gonna
happen you experienced the pain of that
failure that challenge in your life and
then it never ever happened who’s not
this experience say hi if things aren’t
bad in your life you always think if
that hasn’t even happened yet so bad in
advance many people because whenever you
focus on you’ll feel write it down focus
equals feeling cuz if you start to take
control of your focus you take control
of your lives but that day he focused on
the fact that clear
he failed his family and that was the
meaning the second decision-makers what
does it mean did you look at something
think about something focus on either
side what does me is this the beginning
or the end is this punishment reward is
God trying to hurt me or trying to
challenge me or is this nothing to do
with God I was just being a lazy bastard
right the meanings we give to things
control our life if you think it’s the
end of a relationship are you gonna
behave the same way if you think it’s
the beginning of a relationship in the
beginning relationships when you’re
totally in love with someone what will
you do for them tell me what will you do
oh come on guys what we do when you’re
totally in loud shout out what we do
what what make this sound of what it’s
like you’re totally in love out of your
mind just let make that sound like a
primal sound what that feel like just go
for it so we get some energy this trip
it’s been a long time for something I
can see if I play late
let’s try this time how about totally
love and passionately desiring this
person like you can’t wait to touch them
make love to them be with them make the
sound of what that would be like what
nice and loud go ahead so when you have
the meaning that this is the beginning
of the relationship and this person’s
most incredible thing and you will do
what for them what will you do anything
what if you’re that way with your client
love you that way with your internal
customers special partners you go well
with again we have real sexual problems
with HR that via real stars but if you
connect it was the same when you’re in
that place you do anything in the
beginning of relationship in the
beginning relationship if you promise
this would you take up the trash Lisa
take up the trash happily but after
about seven days or seven weeks or seven
months or seven years or 70 years one
day soon we take up the trash but I look
like your janitor
what happened to our passion I’ll give
you a clue if you want a relationship to
last if you think it’s coming to the end
do what you did in the beginning and
there won’t be in it because when you
think it’s the beginning you behave
differently than the end the meaning we
associated things controls our entire
lives it’s not that your mother or
father dies that’s giving you suffering
certainly that’s painful it’s the
meaning you think it’s if it happened
when we take control the meaning it’s
the only thing we can control our lives
we can’t control events we’re living now
where technology’s happening so rapidly
it’s magnificent what it does for our
lives but we all know with that
technology our psychology is about
developing us rapidly and as a result
the world’s changing and a lot of us
have learned to engage with technology
use it to maximize most people miss room
there’s lots of people use technology to
disengage to be harmful to themselves
with other people it’s not a one-way
street so I’m interested how to maximize
the psychology side that’s why I’m
sharing this with you so you can crease
both your leadership skill but who do
you have to lead first to be affected my
friends who yourself so it’s good to see
what’s controlling you when I’m focusing
on him he’s controlling me you can focus
on something you make yourself crazy
your books for something emotion self
great in this moment you can be worried
about Ebola we all know it’s coming keep
us freaked out over the world 36,000
people die here a flu and the whole
world is focused on Ebola because the
news is not designed to inform you it is
designed to startle you
that’s how you sell things so if you let
someone else take control of your focus
your life will be in someone else’s
hands
so first decisions letting the focus
second meaning my father that day
focused ahead take care of us family in
the meeting was I know it was cuz he
said it out loud not worthless now when
you come up with a meaning it produces
an emotion and if you and I want to look
at the quality of our life there’s only
way to find it one way really that’s
real how do you feel everything
if everyday you like you got a billion
dollars and every day you feel guilty or
angry by the way nothing worse than an
angry rich man and woman I just want to
slap them don’t you how do you love the
right to be angry they find a way but if
you got a billion dollars that you’re
angry and you’re pissed off and you’re
guilty all the time what is the quality
of your life angry kiss loss and guilty
if you love nothing I live in Fiji of
course at the time I have a home their
resort their families the villages there
that I interact with the last 25 years
when you go to Fiji and you walk down
the street when you drive by people jump
up and the old bullet pool to pool up
which means welcome be happy we love you
and you drive by five minutes later they
jump up bula bula bula and you’re going
like what drugs are they taking no one’s
paying them but they’re just they’re so
happy they’re in such a different state
they learn to focus on something else to
come up with a different meaning for
life but if the meaning is it’s the end
if the meaning is that you’re dissing me
if the meaning is you don’t care
whatever meaning we come up with that
affects the third decision which is what
am I gonna do and what people do is
based on the meaning system meaning
creates emotion right you can be
miserable no matter what you have you
can be used for having nothing we all
know it’s true in fact is it possible to
learn to let’s for example all health to
be breaking this around you and you
could just be sitting in a chair in this
centered space all hell breaking loose
and you can still feel great it’s not
possible yes or no yes yeah sure but you
and I live in a Western culture but you
sit and bliss out people come and take
your furniture so we have to be good at
not only controlling the interval but
our external world and that’s shaped by
what we do and what people do is based
on their emotions also their warmups
so I thank you Mark and I think all of
you that are role models for people we
show people that success does not mean
taking that success can be truly growing
giving
that money resources an opportunity are
things to be shared they’re things that
are tools for quality wife may be able
enhance for people and for yourself in
person pretty beautiful thing my father
had me decided what to do was if I
failed and I’ve been worthless to my
family I must leave and he did and to me
it was the worst day of my life I’ll
never forget it
I loved him more than anything I for
fathers he’s the one I finally got
attached to it’s like mom I’m confused
but then finally years later I got the
benefit of it because I did all those
experiences all that pain that day I
made three different decisions first
decision as I decided to focus on
something different than him and that’s
the power yet we get to decide what the
focus on my decision number one is I
want to focus on the fact there’s food
what a concept
pretty cool that’s the most powerful
thing to change my life was meaning I
said what does this mean as my father
always said a mother had always said
nobody gives a nobody cares
don’t care about anybody they don’t care
about you and that day I had physical
evidence
those are bringing food I want you to
know that’s not just food that’s called
love for someone that’s called hope for
something that’s called surprise for
someone and that day for me I went
strangers care and so I started caring
about strangers and I decided someday I
might be the same so on a seventeen that
said two families it was like one most
incredible experience of my life I went
to the grocery store is all excited
saved up all my money went to the
manager and said I want to see two
families that’s what I’m doing it’s not
for me give me a discount they gave me
10% I thought gee bastard but I went out
I delivered this food and ironically I
called this church so I asked in a
barrio particular place where are some
families in need they gave me two names
I put on t-shirt jeans I wasn’t going to
be acknowledged I also didn’t want son
to be insulted because I saw what
happened my father
and I wrote a note said this is a note
from a friend I said I just want you
know you know you’re having difficult
times everyone does it sighs and I want
you have a beautiful Thanksgiving and
please feel loved
take care of your family and someday if
you can’t do well enough to do this for
one of the family pass it on but love a
friend and I had written Spanish as well
I’ll never forget first place I pull up
this rotten old van stickiest and I
bought from a buddy of mine all these
bags of food my win of this place and
got out hold up this little tiny
building really tight knocked on the
door and I knocked on the door this
little woman
open the door tight half my size she’s
not hard on 67 see she’s like five two
and she looked at me like this and she
saw the groceries and she screamed she
started grabbed my head and pulled down
and kissing me that’s like no no no
delivery boy delivery boy and she goes
no God gift God gift gift and she did
speak English I had her the note she
went oh she’s crying again story gotta
kiss me again oh no god gift a gift so I
pointed where do I put this in his
pretty little room there’s a table there
and took the food down that went over to
get some more groceries when I did four
children come running out and one hits
my leg it wouldn’t let go and when they
saw the pumpkin pie it was over and it
was one of most emotional experience my
life because first of all this little
plate just wouldn’t like though and I
delivered this food and this woman was
crying and smiling and I stayed there
just to take it in for a few minutes
seeing them all
it was like going back in time and then
as I went to go leave I couldn’t speak
Spanish and she was like trying to say
something in Spanish I don’t know what
to say it was Thanksgiving snow I said
at least Navidad I heard the song okay
and she laughed and laughed
she’s crying and laughing one of my
beautiful experience of life is no and
you’d have both those experiences in
your body simultaneously now I remember
I got in the van and all the four kids
were sitting on the bench here
she’s standing there waving I’m totally
gonna reverse I looked in the mirror and
as I looked in the mirror I saw these
kids there I saw mom crying and smiling
still and then I lost I started crying
uncontrollably and I’m like foot traffic
turning a year tears come to my eyes I
thought myself I mean this is a
beautiful thing why am i crying and then
I realized what a gift that day was I
realized that my worst day of my life
was my best day so my goal for you if
you don’t already have it my guess is
you’ve already done it knowing where you
are in your world today but maybe you’re
second worst day it’s time to make the
best thing because I have every tragedy
out of every pain it only gets heals
when we find a deeper meaning we find
there’s a higher purpose of it and I
realize I wouldn’t have been there that
day I wouldn’t have that hunger help
somebody else if I hadn’t had the hunger
my own soul at one point this so it’s
very personal to me I want to thank all
of you the big contributions and I told
mark and I’ve announced that I’m gonna
match the million meals if you get it
then I’m sure so it’s betting that you
will and so we’ll get two million and I
sold out then mark said I’ll match that
[Music]
so mark smash that stuff you do the
million we’re gonna be three million
here so that’s the way to play the game
I think just raise the game together and
so I’m excited about what that
possibility is and I’m personally also
November 18th I’m gonna need fifty
million people I said 42 million of my
life and the reason I tell you this to
knock off the soapbox but I want you
just think about what’s gonna create
meaning for you there’s money by itself
on do it but impact will maybe I could
be with your own child spending more
time with it’s not to be anything to do
with the contribution any other way you
can contribute your own family but
contribution is what makes us still
fully alive and I’m doing that because I
don’t have you’re aware of it but a year
ago last summer Congress cut the budget
for what was traditionally called food
stamps by eight point seven billion
dollars by the way eight point seven
billion is equipment of every family to
support going with
for one week a month for 12 months out
of the year and all the nonprofit’s try
to support that so I’m partnering with
feeding America I started writing this
book and I thought I’m gonna do it all
Prophets the block all people ten
million people and then it’s like that’s
not enough I’ll get matching donations
I’ll raise the bar I’ll get 20 million
and as time has gone by I decided I’m
doing 50 billion myself and I’m looking
to raise a hundred million but that’s an
addition to the million I’m doing here
and that’s not part of it so if you want
to help you’re welcome to and feeding
America is my partner and we’re gonna
we’re working for matching funds to get
100 million people I’m already a sixty
seven billion just some friends of mine
before we even watch it but it’s a goal
and it’s why do we do it I don’t
actually do it because it’s a heavier
sometimes because Sakina do it because
it’s fun do it because research shows
when it comes to money buying things
will never make you happy never look so
neat you have some nice things that’s
nice things I’m sure you do too but it’s
not gonna give you apples buying
experiences can make you happy by the
way but say people say money doesn’t
matter they don’t know where to shop
cause there’s some experiences you can
buy that are exploring I was instance
experiences some trips and things you
don’t have family or friends that will
live with you for years who knows I’m
talking about here right those things
that money can be a really valuable tool
there you can find that that value and
have money and do those experiences how
cool I’ll tell you what else
money research shows will do people
always say money doesn’t matter what you
get to a certain level no it matters
that you can spend five dollars a month
and have more emotional juice and it can
be measured all the way down by into
your saliva by hormonal changes you want
to use money not let money use you so
another thing it’ll do it is getting rid
of dread trees who here loves to pay for
you don’t want to do right cleaning the
toilets who likes to have someone else
be able to do that at all possible right
because once you do that those drugs
you’re gone what do you get to do you
have time and with time you can spend
more time with your passions the things
that matter for you that you can do with
all the cheering of them and the third
thing and the third thing that gets
people the most enjoyment are money to
see you now is actually giving it away
nobody believes that until you do it now
if you don’t give a dime out of a dollar
not gonna give 100 million out of a
million effort don’t kid yourself it’s
the place to start wherever we are if
you do have you can find there’s
enormous enjoyment in that process and I
think you’ll also find that there’s
somebody you love you do something work
see the world so that’s why I’m here and
I want to now make sure in the time that
you hear let’s kick this in gear let’s
talk about three things that can truly
change the quality of your life number
one first of all if you make new
decisions about the focus on try this
just for a moment just for a second take
a deep breath in exhale and give it a
bow that was really deep breath in
didn’t make it a sexual moan and
thoroughly enjoy it oh that was much
longer and deeper I like that that was
good one more time you see Fred there
give it about now one of the things that
I want to talk to you about here tonight
this afternoon is really simple and that
is everyone here is in business and
there’s a problem that all businesses
have we’re in the most competitive
environment we’ve ever been in we went
from what 500 million people being
online a couple billion people thing
online and the next four years they’re
saying we’re gonna have three billion
more on what that means this entire
world is a bigger market if you’re the
person to add more value it also needs
to get more competitors and you’ve ever
seen in your life
how many think the economic world that
we’re in today is gonna stay the way it
is raise your hands
okay one man on drugs just always want
me okay how many think the other cannot
combine what’s gonna go through seasons
we’re gonna have some more ups and downs
as we adjust to what’s happening world
here say I well then if we know that our
goal you and I as leaders should be to
anticipate that is that everyone this
room’s a leader is something whether
you’re the leader of the company or with
your leader of department whether you’re
a parent we’re hopefully your leader not
a follower if you’re a leader you’ve got
to exercise that skill so I want to talk
to you about that and one of those
important skills with that but most
people don’t exercise that leadership
because they’re dropping behind in their
skill sets
and I’ll give an example what I mean how
many of you in this room I want an
honest answer I’d like you to yell the
answer raise your hands you would please
how many in this room have ever
experienced the absolute total
humiliation I’m playing a video game
against the child scream I if you’ve
done this experience come on let me hear
you what happens when you play the child
who always wins come on who wins always
why is it go faster is that they’re
smarter they’re younger they’re neurons
your functions in a quicker tempo here’s
how it usually works you’re a mother or
father you’re an uncle or dad your
grandfather grandmother your friend of
the family
you’re looking for a gift we live in a
tech world in a world where today
children play with an iPad learn how to
use it before they notify the shoots how
defends that world
I was mark yesterday with his daughter
for six years Bird Sings keystroke
birthday and we’re talking about things
she’s got these Legos and a friend of
ours says oh my six-year-old goes like
those on the iPad searches on YouTube
for videos on how to build cool stuff
using Legos and starts the study on the
phil-billy structures at the world
Linden our kids are in six years old and
that’s what else they’re searching so
I’m flying at six years old it’s a wild
wild world so here we are this
technology and most of us are not seeing
what it’s doing for us so you sit down
this child was high tech you’re not even
the techies in this room aren’t usually
as gamers I know there are plenty of
games there and those playing out and
the ones with child they’re the
Chancellor so come on look I’m not good
this this is for you
come on uncle come on auntie come on mom
come on dad it’s my birthday and
Christmas ease the guilt approach
something what do you find if you
finally break down okay now you should
know you’re being set up when they go
you go first
right and I go look it’s really simple
your choo-choo choo choo choo you just
shoot these guys and all drops down you
think okay I’m gonna show this one
faster than I can do a thing or two here
right
take out the guy you’re two inches and
you’re dead in 2.3 seconds who’s
experienced to say hi now what happens
the child – Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin
about 45 minutes later you get your
second turn
am i right and then you’re now you’re
really test your dedicated your devoted
you’re focused you’re gonna take this
thing out choo choo choo choo choo you
last four seconds and you’re dead
outside of the kitchen 45 minutes again
Hoos have this experience say aye
why just a child always win it’s because
they’re faster
it’s cuz they’re smarter is because
they’re stronger no it’s because they
played this game before as a result they
have the secret to success they know the
road ahead if you know the runner has
you have incredible power called
anticipation anticipation is the
ultimate advantage C winners leaders
anticipate losers reaction the reason
you get beat if you don’t know where
things are happening so you’re reacting
the action is always stressful and yet
so much of my life is predictable if we
just were to society it not be caught up
in our day to day it’s predictable the
challenge you’re gonna have any
relationships or with your kids or with
your body or with your job well with
your economics or what’s your
mother-in-law responsible
these are predictable and you would
anticipate these things and put a
strategy in place you could take it all
out have to call your life that you
deserve in business it’s everything
those that anticipate those that lead
and then there’s those that follow the
followers are the reactionaries
so the more we can anticipate you can’t
anticipate and lead unless you first
learned how to lead yourself with a
different level and so I’d love to have
you to see and if you and I can start to
take control of our focus and we start
to keep tall the meaning of our lives
something really that meeting it that
empowers us is look what’s wrong is
always available isn’t it there’s always
in Imola a bird flu there’s always
something’s gonna kill the entire human
race tomorrow on TV and then there’s
your life what’s wrong is always
available and so is what’s right and you
have to take control of that focus
because otherwise you become the
follower and you get to live your life
even though you’re smart person we’re
all smart but it’s easy to get led
astray by everybody else’s focus isn’t
it and then offices let them create the
meeting for us and then all sudden we’re
settling for life far less than what we
desire or deserve so my approach is
really simple my approach is to say
let’s you and I just for a few little
time we have here by the way this to me
is a little time couple hours two half
hours I guess at the stage have a
minimum link to something I do is 50
hours five Europe and you know are you
kidding me I don’t like to hear myself
talk I like to see people do things so
often they build muscle not just
thoughts and so one thing someone asked
you to do in a few minutes is ready to
go from this passive mode that right now
and to full engagement because if you
get fully engaged it’s amazing what you
can accomplish in gym and you’re
partially engaged to get a little bitter
result when you’re not in your
disengaged y’all nobody got nothing and
we live in a society or most of us are
so overwhelmed there’s so much
information what I have a problem with
information we’re being drowning in
information but we’re starving for
wisdom so we gotta separate it out and
so one way to separate out is I like
talks about three things that can help
you increase your performance and your
life because what I’m obsessed by and
happened for 37 years is what decrease
increased performance for an individual
or an organization but also I’m equally
obsessed about what’s gonna make
somebody fulfilled because who’s had
this horrible experience who here has
ever achieved your goal and then your
brain said is this all there is
who’s had this experience here say hi
and that’s worse than failing at least
when you fail your blankets a can figure
this out and do it again a new way
but when you succeed in your miserable
you’re basically technically screwed so
what I want to make sure that you and I
use we set ourselves up to be able to
win so there’s three things I’d like to
walk you through one collector walk
these move out of the competitive edge
it’s gonna get you both to perform as
you want it’s the highest level and also
that’s a film that you want because if
you want to know my video I can tell you
there’s two master lessons in life
lesson one is the science of achievement
if you want an extraordinary life if you
want to make nificent life which by my
definition has nothing to do with me
its life on your terms some of you
what’s an extraordinary life it’s having
cool little company for some of you is
having a big billion-dollar company for
somebody that’s not a company it’s three
wonderful children that you totally love
in the door it’s been time but for some
of you it’s poetry for some of you it’s
making a difference the environment
students rawls its life on your terms
but if you have extraordinary life
you need a master never won the science
of achievement which most of you are
damn good at I would be in this room
right you know how to go from where you
are have a vision make it real
speeding that up that’s my business what
Mark talked about he actually showed me
the other day we were together couple
days ago and he showed me the very first
day he did his eat you mom which is
Smulian simple way of saying what do you
really want but your vision your values
why do you want it and walking through
the obstacles and the solutions
strategies to get where you want to go
he showed me on the back burner
expressed though where they designed on
the very first day sales whoops
and there you see that day where he
engaged he engaged in his vision instead
of settling for a life that someone else
has designed he had a great life
externalized died Oracle working for one
the most brilliant people on the face of
the earth and that’s how hard it would
be to leave there and start something
from scratch but he has something larger
that he wanted so how do you do that how
do you get yourself there you gotta
understand the science of achievement
but I know so many people I get the call
from its most successful in the world
this is first in politician leader of
some sort economic leader financial
trader and they call me up they want me
to change something their business but I
know what they really want they really
wanted to find
helmet still cuz successful without
fulfillment is the ultimate failure
who’s been found this right you make
everybody else feel great I’m it’s a
horrible example I hate it but we all
know an extraordinary spirit that took
us on life just recently probably lit up
more human beings than almost anybody
alive when it comes to humor and joy he
made everybody else feel happy but
himself
fat you don’t want that to be you if
there’s any gift he can get besides his
joy is the evidence of what you do I
move towards nobody missions gonna move
towards that but we do that a little
level we die a little bit along the way
by giving up what we really desire and
believe it my goal is make sure sees
that you wake that up so and by the way
fulfillment is as unique as our people
achieve that there’s laws right you do
this this money there are laws your body
there’s lost
we all have biochemical special unique
identities but there’s certain
fundamentals if you do them in masks you
are going to be overweight if you do
them differently you’re gonna be sitting
strong same thing with money let’s the
filmin is just unique is art art is what
one person makes is vehicle somebody
else can think is ugly and that’s
perfectly fine have you ever gonna rock
museum you see this big you can taste
the peach they have a different way of
being fulfilled right so those are two
kind of lessons for life so this is what
I like to do now photos today if you
wanna play number one let’s take a look
at what will give you the edge
who’s up for having a good better than
anything you do say and it’s not yes and
it’s not positive thinking if something
you can test cuz the edge is what’s
gonna get more out of you second I’d
like to show you how to create a
breakthrough who here is an area of your
life or there’s something you struggled
with for a while and you’re sick of
struggling with it and you’re sick of
making excuses you want to actually
change it today who’s got one of those
you know I say if you want to play full
out and show you that and the third
element
that’s the other tune it’s really the
one that affected business in life and
that’s the power of engagement all of
these are tied to engagement and I’ll
tell you a turgid me let’s just think
about how could I add the most value
here an engagement is one of those you
know newsflash words and the corporate
culture we all hear about Oh full
engagement partial engagement but it’s
really true engagement plays such a huge
role and some of the studies are out
right now in my model have you seen the
recent studies they’ve done 142
countries asking workers around the
world how would you describe yourself
fully engaged parcel engage disengage
aggressively disengage and guess what
they found that throwing up there around
the world 142 countries they found out
that 13% of employees worldwide says
they were actually engaged in their work
now for a bus in this room you’d say
that’s absurd something wrong with the
survey will you be right in a room like
this it’s full engagement or at least a
lot fuller engagement America has the
highest engagement of any country the
world’s 29 percent which sounds so much
better when you’re 13 like is the which
would you rather have a punch in the
face or kick in the stomach but let’s
flip that around and say does that
really mean it means 71% of people are
disengaged at work and the richest most
powerful most influential country in the
world it’s mind-boggling
now there’s only one study in sale as a
possible you see study up this Fetty
coming up a similar number slightly off
foot but pretty much the same ratios and
here’s this really interesting although
71% there’s a group in there about 24%
of them that are actively disengaged
you know that means that means they hate
what they do and they hate you now this
is pretty important isn’t it they hate
what they do they hate you and they will
actively work to disempower the
organization who has ever bumped into
one of these humans raise your hands say
hi okay so when you bubble these humans
it’s not usually a pleasant experience
and we all know they’re out there and by
the way how much damage can they do in
the world ass
you know social media everywhere where
good news travels fast and bad news
travels faster and people don’t care
what the truth is afterwards they just
listen to a story it makes it go so this
is an area that if you’re gonna change
your business you got to make it so
here’s what I’m looking at what makes
the difference in people what makes a
difference in an organization and I
would submit to you that it isn’t
getting a head start you can find
individuals we give everything to you
you can love on them give them a great
education they get a great economic
background and you can spend the rest of
life going in and out of rehab who’s
seen this before know what I’m talking
about say on the other hand you see
people that life’s kicked in the safe
somebody’s been abused mentally
emotionally physically you name it and
they become the Oprah’s of the world so
it’s certainly not advantage does not
come because you were given something
and by the way in business advantage
doesn’t come because you have most
resources dummies most resources don’t
win the most resourceful someplace with
the most resourceful companies the ones
where employees are the most engaged and
a statistic improvement you look around
you say who had the lead well before
YouTube there was V Mia been a year jump
pretty much the same technology just
didn’t engage as many people before
Google there was what happened Yahoo if
you’re out there what the hell happened
to you people right before Facebook
there was myspace Facebook was more
engaging engagement is really the new
factor being able to be fully gauged by
the way in your intimate relationship
how important is engagement some guys go
very important I want to put off as long
as I can no no I don’t mean that full
engagement that area’s gonna term the
level of fulfillment you have or don’t
have in a relationship right the more
engaged somebody feels that you are with
them the more energy that the more
connections more aliveness you have some
fun ball I’d like to kind of like the
experiment was here it’s kind of
discover what creates engagement for
real with you what creates disengagement
these are huge factors because if you
understand what they are your level of
performance your level results your
level of leadership your level of joy
will change very Veronica
who’s within me that engagement is not
just a term but something to make a
difference in your body let me see it’s
your hey and say ah now I’m asked if
your hand raised for some engagement cuz
here’s the research shows if you listen
to me passively as I’m talking here
guess what within a month you just
listen sit passively mostly you’re doing
it wrong but you’ve been doing your
whole life that you’ve been taught to do
you’ll remember about 10% of what I say
two months an hour which basically means
you wasted your time today and I wasted
mine
kenderson I’m thinking here cuz you want
to learn something do something change
something make something stronger better
say hi if that’s true then if all you do
is take notes which I don’t see anyone
barely doing with all thank you very
much to you I stand corrected and nudge
the people on either side what’s wrong
with you bitch come on where’s the mouse
right cuz I don’t know anybody’s got
back plate of memory my entire life I’ve
kept journals cuz here’s what I learned
early on writing it down if I never look
back at meet again the physical act of
writing it down drives the girls deeper
the petition is the mother of skill you
look at anyone who’s masterful why are
they masks or walking LeBron James do
what he can do cuz he said it a few
million times by you know Kobe will go
out and make 300 shots before he
believed that for everyday 300 shots
this seems freakin activity most people
take we’re all I heard that story I know
that thing I yeah if you’re not doing it
you don’t know you understand and
understanding and sweet all this for
almost gets with Starbucks if you gotta
master something you need to get the
repetition you get it in your body and
you bring emotion to it
enough motion enough repetition it gives
in your body and now it becomes physical
mass where you don’t think about it just
do it
mastery is tying your shoes most of you
can do this you know Johnson gum you
know send the test
simultaneously not some people some
people turn out while they’re doing a
beautifu if you do something enough
you’re confident up you’re certain up
that’s in your body that’s mastered so I
like to see if we couldn’t get into a
different level of mastery in this
and what I’m gonna ask you to do is by
the way if you listen to take notes just
write those notes down or you catch them
in what did you do
these two shows you’ll retain about 40
to 50 percent and set the future of
highly engaged record to do that now
might need their time and then the third
the third most probable one is if you
physically engage your body if they ask
you suppose she held back the answer for
in a few minutes I’m gonna ask you to
actively engage and engage with each
other do some crazy things these would
normally do but that does it brings up
engagement eighty ninety percent
retention because now it’s not just the
thought or right
it’s a feeling in your body as well and
if you do that you’re gonna retain it
who’s up for doing more and holding on
or seoc then I do that last couple
things one is I’m asking questions
please y’all at the answer you’re
already doing that you’re being very
kind but don’t be kind anymore do more
passionate intensity because I’m not
going to ask you questions you don’t
know the answer to this I want you to
throw this punches but if you yell out
the answer you’ll activate your body’s
nervous system make sense and the more
you activate the more energy you have we
live in a passive society and if we’re
gonna engage anyway
the companies that engage the companies
that have or have records of 24 to 25
percent in the country highest levels
engage of employees companies like
Google companies like Salesforce
companies like Apple companies like
Facebook and by the way guess what all
the research shows 22 percent more
profitability almost one for one for
every percentage of increased engagement
you almost get any piece of
profitability but I would argue you get
that in your personal life as well the
more engage you are the more the other
personal succumbing games you want to
get somebody gauge you get engaged think
about everyone who serves a leader
what’s our job to do as a leader our job
is maximize resources right finally take
whatever resources getting more out of
it ourselves other people are economics
our business our technology that’s the
job of a leader but you can’t maximize
resources if you don’t have full
engagement so I’d like to see if we put
increase that it’s a one simple way of
doing that increasing that engagement is
to start with us because by the way are
you gonna gauge other people if you’re
not engaged yes or no
yes or no are you gonna be able to touch
other people if you’re not touched are
you gonna move other people if you’re
not moved and so by the way here’s the
problem how many do you weigh come on
you have certain days you wake up and
you think yourself today I don’t want to
talk to any people who I’m in this room
has days like this you know I talked to
anybody here say hi come on feel some
energy ah but as a professional you got
to do that most times and if you fake it
do people feel it so I want to show you
some ways to change it but here’s the
reward of engagement if you can become a
person engage others you will now become
an extraordinary leader not a mediocre
or good one as far as I’m concerned good
is the enemy of brains corny as it
sounds
so think about it I’ll give an example
this book done yet I do this book
because back in 2008 I felt like I was
back in my childhood
everybody around they were suffering and
I hate suffering most of the skills I
developers does I want to taste my
suffering and take him to place with a
toy and aliveness and how the vitality
abundance or whatever I could do now and
so I’ve done the guy that cuts my hair
my barber is like his kid can’t go to
college he’s lost half what he’s got to
do a billionaire client of mine he’s no
longer a billionaire he’s feeling
equally bad he thinks but suffering is
suffering in somebody’s mind right so I
thought to myself something’s got to be
done and he like most of us like
somebody’s gonna do something in 2010
when things he actually got worse and
the system wasn’t changed I started
reading everything I could read started
watching read watch and I watched the
documentary called inside job he buddy
here’s the inside job if you didn’t see
it was Matt Damon did the documentary on
it and it won the Academy Award and it
actually walked through systematically
and showed how the entire world economic
experience our entire economies the
world was almost destroyed by a few
people may identify who they were how
they did it they document it all and
then they showed what happened to them
and what happened does anybody now
no not nothing nothing would have been a
reward compared to what we should be got
they were actually put in charge of the
turnaround and they were given your
money and mine we were taxed so they had
to put their money back revoir
so at the end of this film depending
upon your personality if you haven’t
seen it I should warn you I’ve wanted to
reaction truly be very depressed or a
very test I was on the piss side I was
so angry I thought to myself nothing’s
been done this is insane something’s got
to be done I thought you know everybody
says something to be done but what can I
do and I thought you know what I’ve got
access for 21 years most people think
I’m the happy bouncing round positive
thinking
meaning guy on an infomercial from 20
years ago but I have continued to grow
not taller hopefully but in all that
time for 21 years I coach Paul Tudor
Jones one of the top 10 financial
traders in the history of the world he’s
a man has made more money than almost
anyone on earth go on with George Soros
CEO the names you may now but Paul is
really unique in that Paul found himself
in the positions in the 1987 when the
stock market class the largest
percentage in today still to this day he
made 20 percent from the whole world
losing everything he made 200 percent
that year for his clients just
unbelievable and then it was like the
guy that walked on the moon what do you
do if you walk on the moon you see then
you know you look at that incredible
view of the earth it’s you seeing it’s
not a photograph you come back to the
earth you shake the president’s hand you
better take the tape right now what do
you did and a lot of those astronauts if
you know the story actually became
depressed because they didn’t have what
I call a compelling future to look
forward to so Paul had a little fall
back and I was called in to turn around
keen in insurance letting everybody
around and took it out what it took to
do it and build the strategy that put
him back in state he’s been successful
and made money every year for 21
straight years every single year there’s
no one this class has done that no one
pretty Maisy
I was listening to give example we were
together and back you remember in the
tech bubble of 2000 blew up all made
money I find a side by side every single
day easy nearly me every single day I’m
talking some ways communicating it where
I’m gonna see him every three or four
months to be there in person make sure
we
tweaking the system I’m not there to be
a positive thinking on G to beat that
crap I’m not prepared for anything comes
how do we got the strategy I’ve always
been a strategist I’ve never believed in
positive thinking I never told people
you should go to your gym or go to your
garden better yet and chant there’s no
beads there’s no bees there’s no Beach
there’s no weeds I’m like here’s the
weed let’s pull it out that’s what I do
with him 21 years 21 years includes 9/11
when the whole markets are blowing up
making money
21 years includes everything we saw in
the subprime crisis making money it
includes when we all went through the
dropping bull those are associates
you’ve not locked up so I’ve been there
were all those pieces I got a chance to
learn the sky side-by-side and I’ve been
able to contribute to him in a
significant way so I got I got access so
I decide I’m gonna go find a way to
interview the 50 most influential
financial brilliant minds on the face of
the earth not people you meet on the
Internet
not people intelligent scheming it you
want to buy and tell you know some
mythical mutual fund that gives you 12
percent every year it doesn’t exist but
the real guys and the real ladies to do
it but how you gonna do that huh I’ll
call up to 20 Robbins telling some
interview you you read 27 billion
dollars and like your top
you have to engage people so I’m gonna
show you some ways to do that I will
tell you what you can engage people
there is no limit to the resources you
can access if you want real wealth
wealth is access to resources it doesn’t
have to own them all just access to them
you do whatever you want whoever you
want to go
that’s real wealth and you can do it if
you can engage people engaging people to
find a way to their needs not yours
if you meet their needs your needs can
be bad as well and it can be done in a
way that has integrity and love and
vision and creativity and it can truly
be a synergy I’ll give you some examples
though just for two seconds that we’re
gonna do some things that engage to get
the sense of its value one of the first
people I call that was Carl Icahn Carl
Icahn
it’s a very gentle soul the man has a
hard time expressing his true feelings
about things who knows who Carl Icahn is
he’s worth 27 billion dollars he is made
more money in fact on the cover of Time
magazine they called him the master of
the universe because Keplinger did a
little study and found out warren
buffett is not the most profitable
person you could invest it with her like
others in the last fourteen years you
would have made sixteen hundred percent
with Carl Icahn
seventy five percent over on the S&P
with the ups and downs neck I’m talking
about half translation but if you’d
invest it with him in 1968 his company
you’d have an average return of thirty
one percent for all these decades
doubling your money every 2.6 years if
he was Warren Buffett you get a mere
twenty percent this is an amazing guy he
agrees to the interview I use every tool
I got I get there and the first thing he
does is he throws out my camera could no
I don’t want this camera girl I don’t
want this I don’t want the lights I
don’t want this way we’ll do you agree I
don’t care it’s my mind get him out of
here I’m master the universe
don’t you understand it’s okay no
problem let’s do the audio my audio team
does no audio
so what am I supposed to do he goes you
got a pen come on you got ten minutes
ten minutes all my interviews are
supposed to be 45 minutes the average
one went three hours how engaged I
figured out how to engage these people
and I found something inside of them
that really wanted to give not to me
they got was initialized to other people
and I got them something things nobody
tells Jack Bogle been in the business 63
years showed up for 45 minutes four
hours later left his office
and afterwards he wrote a quote for any
said it was the most probing most
intense interview had in 63 years
provocative and probing slicer now that
says to me pretty cool thing that means
I engaged him better than anyone in 63
years I got those answers already him
not worried to me
pretty cool I went to dine him read out
how many know Ray Dalio is in the show
look how few people I read that Ray
Dalio has been called the DaVinci’s and
Destiny’s been called Steve Jobs
investing but most you never hear them
because you couldn’t access in a million
years but if your press the United
States if your husband said if you run
China you know he is and I’ll tell you
why
to work with ray first of all the last
23 years he’s made 21 percent per year
compounded for fees do all those
environments unbelievable but here’s all
it takes to work with Ray you need a
five billion dollar net worth and a
hundred million dollars is the initial
investment and that was ten years ago
now he won’t take your money to my hot
rich Sheila you’re talking to him and he
gets a phone call it’s the prime
minister of China who wants some Sochi a
large hedge fund might be 15 billion
dollars raised 168 billion dollars I got
on ray harder what happened with Ray was
he’s been a fan mind turned out for
about 20 years but what I did I spend 15
hours to be ready to engage him 15 hours
of total immersion so I could pitching
catch with him so I didn’t just talk I
could do it that he wouldn’t just throw
the ball I could put it back to him and
guess what at the end he is built
something up the ears all this
all-weather fun which is designed to
make money no matter what market
you don’t have to know the market she
says what if I die someday I will tell
my what kids have money how will my
throne property care is that money
here’s what I’m gonna do I’m gonna
figure out why a balanced portfolio
doesn’t work in 2008 or 2009 answers
wrong and the DaVinci of investing fear
doubt has done it to herself for decade
and a half and he tested it back to 1925
and it just makes money in any
environments and now his clients get to
do it not the 1% not the point though
the ooo 1% so I’m sitting out with rain
I didn’t explain how it works and at the
end we’re engaged three hours into it he
tells me how this works I said this is
beautiful but I’m doing this so I’m
gonna be losing money I’m giving money
away I want people to have the answers
you just got done saying you have a
personal to both manners he’ll never
work they can’t possibly do it they
might be sincere they might even put
their money the same places for you but
how many gold medals if they once said
those are only people to win so in a few
it’s a giant game with T winners
so you said they’re not gonna win with
anybody else so I said this is worthless
without knowing the exact recipe how
much in this how much in that published
by this percentage where I got a
thousand dollars or twenty million do it
no there’s twenty that’s that’s my
secret sauce that’s what five billion
dollars and a hundred billion used to
get you I said yeah but you won’t take
anybody’s money yes I said you giving
away half your fortune was 14 billion
you’re giving me the secret sauce he
goes it’s really complex I can’t believe
you share it that way I said I know it’s
complex and I’m a pretty smart guy I’m
good at simplifying I believe complexity
is the enemy of execution
that’s what it is you got to make it so
simple people do it complexity to the
enemy of execution so I’ll get chef will
you get it to me I’ll make it simply
goes well it uses leverage I should give
me one that doesn’t leverage did anybody
could do they can do with ETF’s as well
look like it won’t be perfect I said
your worst plants gonna be better than
anybody else’s best plan and then he
like this moment of engaged in this
magic moment you open that but he goes
okay it’s not right like crazy I got the
video camera going I’m feeling this
vibration in my mind I left so excited
knowing it was something special to not
knowing what was but that’s formula
that’s looking to Hightower 30 billion
dollar asset company says test this 30
years 40 years 75 years house is done
over all that time period in the last 30
years lost money four times made money
every the time enough four times for the
losses with 0.003 so really practically
lost money three times you know the
average loss was 1.9 percent the average
game just under 10 all in the largest
loss in 75 years it’s been right 85% of
times the largest loss three point nine
five two that was 2008 less than 4% on
the rest of the world top the bottom
lost 51% it’s in my book Butler and so
much my partner’s like business I see
you know Ezra great business we hope
people do if they want to do it but it
wasn’t offered in that spirit so it’s
there I tell you this because I want you
to stand with engagement and get
anything but engagement I want you to
just find it once you experience it so
what’s the first thing the loud you to
gauge something what’s the number one
thing right now if I said to you what
what is it how do you think mark is a
fairly engaging guide without blowing
smoke coming up to say this guy’s pretty
damn engaging say I what makes you
engaging what makes somebody you find
engaging what makes them engaging T’s
what is it about them
think about it see that what makes
somebody engaging the positive what’s
that I contact make somebody engaging
she’s talking about another level of
engagement I can feel it right now what
else creates something gates come on
smile what else makes them engaging
energy passion talking the truth instead
of what you want to hear who loves
somebody will tell you the damn truth
and world we teach the world not even
reality television is freaking real
anymore right raw and real may not sound
good it sure feels good because you know
it’s their sincerity when you feel like
something how about caring you say like
somebody truly cares about you does that
make it engage more alright what makes
something disengaging to you what makes
you disengage with someone lying when
you can’t trust them arrogance and they
try to control you what this engages you
when they come up to hit on you and
they’re not even committed you’re those
like the twelfth person you can feel it
when they’re insincere disengages you
what’s that when it when the
communication are that relationship is
one-sided totally disengaged she doesn’t
in authenticity where as authentic does
engage you doesn’t right what’s that yes
when they’re on their phone talking to
you while they’re also doing something
else how many love this experience and
yet we’ve made it culturally okay
staying behind one generation and so how
your mind for this or you live in the
world I guess it’s up to it but all the
things you said are true when you feel
that someone cares about you that’s
interested you as sincere with you
shares the same interest is trying to
accomplish something if there’s that
caring sincerity mission passion is
passion something gauges you just enough
and then disengagement the opposite but
all of them start with one thing that I
want to do right now so we can shift
this here because you’ve been sitting
way too long and so quietly been so nice
but this passive learning is blocked to
end now I just did it so wouldn’t feel
jolting only began now we can step into
the real game here’s I want to do that
first of all energy the energy is the
base how many green energy is engaging
say if you want to change something in
your life and you are what I call energy
poor Low Energy are you gonna follow
through yes or no you love your husband
or wife but you’re exhausted love you
love there is no passion there is no
intimacy without energy am i right
you’re not gonna go to build a business
without energy you see this crazy man
he’s filled with energy day night night
and day Sir Richard Branson how much
energy is that man had he’s insane in
this energy anybody I’ve ever met who’s
really has this compelling ability to
engage with people its energy but I’ll
be born with it some may be most not
because I’ve every time I see them and I
also see some of them like Richard
Richard is a ball of fire of energy and
then he’s not he’s actually as their
internal guy in many ways he’s external
when he wants to go do something he’s
crazy and willing to risk his life’s not
a business and business he goes okay I’m
gonna take virgin and make virgin
airways so how could I lose oh I’m gonna
make a deal with Boeing that if they
sail I get to give him the Jets back
that’s what he thinks this life let me
go in the middle of a balloon in the
middle sky I hope happens the point
is engaging people are that kind of
energy doesn’t matter who they are where
they are they have that kind of
experience so when you and I gotta do
this better tap that out so how many of
yous had times when you in the flow when
energy was going through you I you have
to think about the right thing was sad
the right thing came out of who’s been
in this place for say hi say hi who’s
here at the time you did something else
I can’t believe I said that I can’t
believe I did that that was so stupid we
say I
who’s done something raft you didn’t
that was me I don’t hide it that
that was cool who’s ever impressed
yourself say hi now you seem person up
in one situation you’re an idiot the
other one you’re brilliant who’s ever
forgotten how to spell your own number
let’s say your own email or your home
phone number or how to spell a difficult
word like tha we use your hands here in
fact phone numbers crazy now for most of
us right because now we have this
outboard brain if we lose this frame
we’re screwed I don’t even know how to
call my mom for God’s sakes right you
don’t know what to do I’m gonna have
this thing so the point of the matter is
if we increase the interesting that work
so now here’s the big word of energy
come from this energy come from sleep
yes or not really who here has ever
slept eight hours and still been tired
as let me see your hands right here
okay so that wasn’t it my Apple is this
food that gives you energy really really
Thanksgivings coming I know what you’re
gonna do right you’re gonna get to
Thanksgiving it’s about giving things
you’re gonna take care of this nurtures
body of yours you’re gonna say now you
know give me the vegetables a little
this little that right now what do
people do at Thanksgiving what are they
doing eat everything within reach and
we’re totally stuffed and you can’t have
another bite
and you say I’ll never one I’ll never
eat again and somebody goes pumpkin pie
you’re okay come on who’s knows I’m
talking about here and by the way what
happens after you saw like going for a
run what do you want to do at the end of
that meal tell me what who here is ever
fastest four five six seven days of work
on the fast does your energy increase or
decrease is you no longer eat which one
increases massively so if it’s not food
and it’s not sleep don’t get me wrong
because you’re useful then what is it
the answer is it’s psychology it’s a
mindset it’s a decision inside yourself
when you say I will no longer talk
a low-energy my life because low energy
equals relationship that’s a
technical term low energy means low
lousy business low poor energy means I
no longer have the impact on my children
someone else was greater and she’s going
to and if we can find a way to increase
our energy and here’s the good news
about it it’s psychology and its
movement the way you move will create it
[Music]
you
you
long-term anybody can get lucky do
something for a period of time but real
success and any measure whatsoever comes
when you do more for others than anybody
else there’s no other way to do it you
find a way to add more what value and if
we find the way to add more value we can
be superior in the marketplace but we
can also be steering our own lives we
can enjoy our lives that it is a level
got a different set of thrive it isn’t
fake it’s not ego Digos when you try to
make it better than it is and you know
the truth is it’s not but when you
really are in a position low when you’re
in a position where you own what you’re
about you know what here to deliver you
delivered on a significant scale then
you have an opportunity to really
experience not only successful
fulfilment and this conference has
gotten bigger and bigger not only in his
size but also in its impact and so I’m
really free little privileged to be back
with you here and I know you’re racing
working raised a million meals and I’m
very very end to hunger to say the least
primarily because I was so hungry at
stage of my life and my life was
completely changed because when I was 11
years old we had no money in those food
and we’ve gotten used to that that was
Thanksgiving which makes it more
emotional and my parents were saying and
doing things that have to say them you
can never take them back and it was very
profoundly he’s painful obviously for
myself the oldest trying to keep my
brother and sister steering it but it
profoundly changed because that day
something changed my life and it was
somebody simply coming and delivering
food and it wasn’t the person wasn’t
giving it it was a delivery guy and it
wasn’t in a happy moment for my father
it was interesting mama
I know my young mom and dad are yelling
each other my mom saying things my
father taking care of us pretty painful
moment and the door happens and I can
open the door and there’s this tall guy
standing there with these big bags of
food on the ground beside him he had
this pan with uncooked
turkey and he says your father here and
I said just one moment and I sprinted to
get my dad thinking this is gonna be the
most referred moment he could possibly
imagine like God had come by and
surprised as somebody cared about us but
he wanted to frame it and my father came
to the front door
the grudgingly when he saw the man he
got there
and he says you know we don’t take
charity they went to slam the door and
the man is very tall guiity put his arm
or shoulder against it it kind of
bounced off of them and he said sir this
is not charity everybody has tough times
and somebody knows you’re in need and
they want to have a beautiful
Thanksgiving please accept this gift my
father got even more intense and start
saying I don’t accept charity and this
pot in the man would slip there and
bounce off of it and then he said since
my father and I thought my father would
hit him he looked at my father and said
he looked at me in the background says
don’t let your family suffer because of
your ego it was intense worse I said my
father know what to do he grabbed the
food he slammed it down and slammed the
door
I tell you the story because everything
in our life is controlled by three
decisions and those three decisions are
like you look at today because I really
want to deliver for you I didn’t come
here to do a speech I love mark dearly I
really want to serve you and you all
give me the greatest gift you have your
time you get your money back but you
can’t get Steinbach if I really want to
serve you and I think one of most
powerful things we deserve you have you
become clear of what the controlling
force is that’s controlling the quality
of your lies and you and I both know
it’s not the amount of money in your
pocket it’s not who you know it’s not
even what you’ve been through it’s
really the decisions you make moment to
moment about a couple of doing things
and the three decisions I made in that
moment that I’d like to pull your
attention to just real quick are in this
moment you’re making these three
decisions by the way this first one is
what are you going to focus on and that
day my father focused clearly the fact
that he’d not take care of his family
and whatever you focus on you’re gonna
feel back money of us in this room hope
saver focus on something you were
thinking something horrible is gonna
happen you experienced the pain of that
failure that challenge in your life and
then it never ever happened who’s not
this experience say hi if things aren’t
bad in your life you always think if
that hasn’t even happened yet so bad in
advance many people because whenever you
focus on you’ll feel write it down focus
equals feeling cuz if you start to take
control of your focus you take control
of your lives but that day he focused on
the fact that clear
he failed his family and that was the
meaning the second decision-makers what
does it mean did you look at something
think about something focus on either
side what does me is this the beginning
or the end is this punishment reward is
God trying to hurt me or trying to
challenge me or is this nothing to do
with God I was just being a lazy bastard
right the meanings we give to things
control our life if you think it’s the
end of a relationship are you gonna
behave the same way if you think it’s
the beginning of a relationship in the
beginning relationships when you’re
totally in love with someone what will
you do for them tell me what will you do
oh come on guys what we do when you’re
totally in loud shout out what we do
what what make this sound of what it’s
like you’re totally in love out of your
mind just let make that sound like a
primal sound what that feel like just go
for it so we get some energy this trip
it’s been a long time for something I
can see if I play late
let’s try this time how about totally
love and passionately desiring this
person like you can’t wait to touch them
make love to them be with them make the
sound of what that would be like what
nice and loud go ahead so when you have
the meaning that this is the beginning
of the relationship and this person’s
most incredible thing and you will do
what for them what will you do anything
what if you’re that way with your client
love you that way with your internal
customers special partners you go well
with again we have real sexual problems
with HR that via real stars but if you
connect it was the same when you’re in
that place you do anything in the
beginning of relationship in the
beginning relationship if you promise
this would you take up the trash Lisa
take up the trash happily but after
about seven days or seven weeks or seven
months or seven years or 70 years one
day soon we take up the trash but I look
like your janitor
what happened to our passion I’ll give
you a clue if you want a relationship to
last if you think it’s coming to the end
do what you did in the beginning and
there won’t be in it because when you
think it’s the beginning you behave
differently than the end the meaning we
associated things controls our entire
lives it’s not that your mother or
father dies that’s giving you suffering
certainly that’s painful it’s the
meaning you think it’s if it happened
when we take control the meaning it’s
the only thing we can control our lives
we can’t control events we’re living now
where technology’s happening so rapidly
it’s magnificent what it does for our
lives but we all know with that
technology our psychology is about
developing us rapidly and as a result
the world’s changing and a lot of us
have learned to engage with technology
use it to maximize most people miss room
there’s lots of people use technology to
disengage to be harmful to themselves
with other people it’s not a one-way
street so I’m interested how to maximize
the psychology side that’s why I’m
sharing this with you so you can crease
both your leadership skill but who do
you have to lead first to be affected my
friends who yourself so it’s good to see
what’s controlling you when I’m focusing
on him he’s controlling me you can focus
on something you make yourself crazy
your books for something emotion self
great in this moment you can be worried
about Ebola we all know it’s coming keep
us freaked out over the world 36,000
people die here a flu and the whole
world is focused on Ebola because the
news is not designed to inform you it is
designed to startle you
that’s how you sell things so if you let
someone else take control of your focus
your life will be in someone else’s
hands
so first decisions letting the focus
second meaning my father that day
focused ahead take care of us family in
the meeting was I know it was cuz he
said it out loud not worthless now when
you come up with a meaning it produces
an emotion and if you and I want to look
at the quality of our life there’s only
way to find it one way really that’s
real how do you feel everything
if everyday you like you got a billion
dollars and every day you feel guilty or
angry by the way nothing worse than an
angry rich man and woman I just want to
slap them don’t you how do you love the
right to be angry they find a way but if
you got a billion dollars that you’re
angry and you’re pissed off and you’re
guilty all the time what is the quality
of your life angry kiss loss and guilty
if you love nothing I live in Fiji of
course at the time I have a home their
resort their families the villages there
that I interact with the last 25 years
when you go to Fiji and you walk down
the street when you drive by people jump
up and the old bullet pool to pool up
which means welcome be happy we love you
and you drive by five minutes later they
jump up bula bula bula and you’re going
like what drugs are they taking no one’s
paying them but they’re just they’re so
happy they’re in such a different state
they learn to focus on something else to
come up with a different meaning for
life but if the meaning is it’s the end
if the meaning is that you’re dissing me
if the meaning is you don’t care
whatever meaning we come up with that
affects the third decision which is what
am I gonna do and what people do is
based on the meaning system meaning
creates emotion right you can be
miserable no matter what you have you
can be used for having nothing we all
know it’s true in fact is it possible to
learn to let’s for example all health to
be breaking this around you and you
could just be sitting in a chair in this
centered space all hell breaking loose
and you can still feel great it’s not
possible yes or no yes yeah sure but you
and I live in a Western culture but you
sit and bliss out people come and take
your furniture so we have to be good at
not only controlling the interval but
our external world and that’s shaped by
what we do and what people do is based
on their emotions also their warmups
so I thank you Mark and I think all of
you that are role models for people we
show people that success does not mean
taking that success can be truly growing
giving
that money resources an opportunity are
things to be shared they’re things that
are tools for quality wife may be able
enhance for people and for yourself in
person pretty beautiful thing my father
had me decided what to do was if I
failed and I’ve been worthless to my
family I must leave and he did and to me
it was the worst day of my life I’ll
never forget it
I loved him more than anything I for
fathers he’s the one I finally got
attached to it’s like mom I’m confused
but then finally years later I got the
benefit of it because I did all those
experiences all that pain that day I
made three different decisions first
decision as I decided to focus on
something different than him and that’s
the power yet we get to decide what the
focus on my decision number one is I
want to focus on the fact there’s food
what a concept
pretty cool that’s the most powerful
thing to change my life was meaning I
said what does this mean as my father
always said a mother had always said
nobody gives a nobody cares
don’t care about anybody they don’t care
about you and that day I had physical
evidence
those are bringing food I want you to
know that’s not just food that’s called
love for someone that’s called hope for
something that’s called surprise for
someone and that day for me I went
strangers care and so I started caring
about strangers and I decided someday I
might be the same so on a seventeen that
said two families it was like one most
incredible experience of my life I went
to the grocery store is all excited
saved up all my money went to the
manager and said I want to see two
families that’s what I’m doing it’s not
for me give me a discount they gave me
10% I thought gee bastard but I went out
I delivered this food and ironically I
called this church so I asked in a
barrio particular place where are some
families in need they gave me two names
I put on t-shirt jeans I wasn’t going to
be acknowledged I also didn’t want son
to be insulted because I saw what
happened my father
and I wrote a note said this is a note
from a friend I said I just want you
know you know you’re having difficult
times everyone does it sighs and I want
you have a beautiful Thanksgiving and
please feel loved
take care of your family and someday if
you can’t do well enough to do this for
one of the family pass it on but love a
friend and I had written Spanish as well
I’ll never forget first place I pull up
this rotten old van stickiest and I
bought from a buddy of mine all these
bags of food my win of this place and
got out hold up this little tiny
building really tight knocked on the
door and I knocked on the door this
little woman
open the door tight half my size she’s
not hard on 67 see she’s like five two
and she looked at me like this and she
saw the groceries and she screamed she
started grabbed my head and pulled down
and kissing me that’s like no no no
delivery boy delivery boy and she goes
no God gift God gift gift and she did
speak English I had her the note she
went oh she’s crying again story gotta
kiss me again oh no god gift a gift so I
pointed where do I put this in his
pretty little room there’s a table there
and took the food down that went over to
get some more groceries when I did four
children come running out and one hits
my leg it wouldn’t let go and when they
saw the pumpkin pie it was over and it
was one of most emotional experience my
life because first of all this little
plate just wouldn’t like though and I
delivered this food and this woman was
crying and smiling and I stayed there
just to take it in for a few minutes
seeing them all
it was like going back in time and then
as I went to go leave I couldn’t speak
Spanish and she was like trying to say
something in Spanish I don’t know what
to say it was Thanksgiving snow I said
at least Navidad I heard the song okay
and she laughed and laughed
she’s crying and laughing one of my
beautiful experience of life is no and
you’d have both those experiences in
your body simultaneously now I remember
I got in the van and all the four kids
were sitting on the bench here
she’s standing there waving I’m totally
gonna reverse I looked in the mirror and
as I looked in the mirror I saw these
kids there I saw mom crying and smiling
still and then I lost I started crying
uncontrollably and I’m like foot traffic
turning a year tears come to my eyes I
thought myself I mean this is a
beautiful thing why am i crying and then
I realized what a gift that day was I
realized that my worst day of my life
was my best day so my goal for you if
you don’t already have it my guess is
you’ve already done it knowing where you
are in your world today but maybe you’re
second worst day it’s time to make the
best thing because I have every tragedy
out of every pain it only gets heals
when we find a deeper meaning we find
there’s a higher purpose of it and I
realize I wouldn’t have been there that
day I wouldn’t have that hunger help
somebody else if I hadn’t had the hunger
my own soul at one point this so it’s
very personal to me I want to thank all
of you the big contributions and I told
mark and I’ve announced that I’m gonna
match the million meals if you get it
then I’m sure so it’s betting that you
will and so we’ll get two million and I
sold out then mark said I’ll match that
[Music]
so mark smash that stuff you do the
million we’re gonna be three million
here so that’s the way to play the game
I think just raise the game together and
so I’m excited about what that
possibility is and I’m personally also
November 18th I’m gonna need fifty
million people I said 42 million of my
life and the reason I tell you this to
knock off the soapbox but I want you
just think about what’s gonna create
meaning for you there’s money by itself
on do it but impact will maybe I could
be with your own child spending more
time with it’s not to be anything to do
with the contribution any other way you
can contribute your own family but
contribution is what makes us still
fully alive and I’m doing that because I
don’t have you’re aware of it but a year
ago last summer Congress cut the budget
for what was traditionally called food
stamps by eight point seven billion
dollars by the way eight point seven
billion is equipment of every family to
support going with
for one week a month for 12 months out
of the year and all the nonprofit’s try
to support that so I’m partnering with
feeding America I started writing this
book and I thought I’m gonna do it all
Prophets the block all people ten
million people and then it’s like that’s
not enough I’ll get matching donations
I’ll raise the bar I’ll get 20 million
and as time has gone by I decided I’m
doing 50 billion myself and I’m looking
to raise a hundred million but that’s an
addition to the million I’m doing here
and that’s not part of it so if you want
to help you’re welcome to and feeding
America is my partner and we’re gonna
we’re working for matching funds to get
100 million people I’m already a sixty
seven billion just some friends of mine
before we even watch it but it’s a goal
and it’s why do we do it I don’t
actually do it because it’s a heavier
sometimes because Sakina do it because
it’s fun do it because research shows
when it comes to money buying things
will never make you happy never look so
neat you have some nice things that’s
nice things I’m sure you do too but it’s
not gonna give you apples buying
experiences can make you happy by the
way but say people say money doesn’t
matter they don’t know where to shop
cause there’s some experiences you can
buy that are exploring I was instance
experiences some trips and things you
don’t have family or friends that will
live with you for years who knows I’m
talking about here right those things
that money can be a really valuable tool
there you can find that that value and
have money and do those experiences how
cool I’ll tell you what else
money research shows will do people
always say money doesn’t matter what you
get to a certain level no it matters
that you can spend five dollars a month
and have more emotional juice and it can
be measured all the way down by into
your saliva by hormonal changes you want
to use money not let money use you so
another thing it’ll do it is getting rid
of dread trees who here loves to pay for
you don’t want to do right cleaning the
toilets who likes to have someone else
be able to do that at all possible right
because once you do that those drugs
you’re gone what do you get to do you
have time and with time you can spend
more time with your passions the things
that matter for you that you can do with
all the cheering of them and the third
thing and the third thing that gets
people the most enjoyment are money to
see you now is actually giving it away
nobody believes that until you do it now
if you don’t give a dime out of a dollar
not gonna give 100 million out of a
million effort don’t kid yourself it’s
the place to start wherever we are if
you do have you can find there’s
enormous enjoyment in that process and I
think you’ll also find that there’s
somebody you love you do something work
see the world so that’s why I’m here and
I want to now make sure in the time that
you hear let’s kick this in gear let’s
talk about three things that can truly
change the quality of your life number
one first of all if you make new
decisions about the focus on try this
just for a moment just for a second take
a deep breath in exhale and give it a
bow that was really deep breath in
didn’t make it a sexual moan and
thoroughly enjoy it oh that was much
longer and deeper I like that that was
good one more time you see Fred there
give it about now one of the things that
I want to talk to you about here tonight
this afternoon is really simple and that
is everyone here is in business and
there’s a problem that all businesses
have we’re in the most competitive
environment we’ve ever been in we went
from what 500 million people being
online a couple billion people thing
online and the next four years they’re
saying we’re gonna have three billion
more on what that means this entire
world is a bigger market if you’re the
person to add more value it also needs
to get more competitors and you’ve ever
seen in your life
how many think the economic world that
we’re in today is gonna stay the way it
is raise your hands
okay one man on drugs just always want
me okay how many think the other cannot
combine what’s gonna go through seasons
we’re gonna have some more ups and downs
as we adjust to what’s happening world
here say I well then if we know that our
goal you and I as leaders should be to
anticipate that is that everyone this
room’s a leader is something whether
you’re the leader of the company or with
your leader of department whether you’re
a parent we’re hopefully your leader not
a follower if you’re a leader you’ve got
to exercise that skill so I want to talk
to you about that and one of those
important skills with that but most
people don’t exercise that leadership
because they’re dropping behind in their
skill sets
and I’ll give an example what I mean how
many of you in this room I want an
honest answer I’d like you to yell the
answer raise your hands you would please
how many in this room have ever
experienced the absolute total
humiliation I’m playing a video game
against the child scream I if you’ve
done this experience come on let me hear
you what happens when you play the child
who always wins come on who wins always
why is it go faster is that they’re
smarter they’re younger they’re neurons
your functions in a quicker tempo here’s
how it usually works you’re a mother or
father you’re an uncle or dad your
grandfather grandmother your friend of
the family
you’re looking for a gift we live in a
tech world in a world where today
children play with an iPad learn how to
use it before they notify the shoots how
defends that world
I was mark yesterday with his daughter
for six years Bird Sings keystroke
birthday and we’re talking about things
she’s got these Legos and a friend of
ours says oh my six-year-old goes like
those on the iPad searches on YouTube
for videos on how to build cool stuff
using Legos and starts the study on the
phil-billy structures at the world
Linden our kids are in six years old and
that’s what else they’re searching so
I’m flying at six years old it’s a wild
wild world so here we are this
technology and most of us are not seeing
what it’s doing for us so you sit down
this child was high tech you’re not even
the techies in this room aren’t usually
as gamers I know there are plenty of
games there and those playing out and
the ones with child they’re the
Chancellor so come on look I’m not good
this this is for you
come on uncle come on auntie come on mom
come on dad it’s my birthday and
Christmas ease the guilt approach
something what do you find if you
finally break down okay now you should
know you’re being set up when they go
you go first
right and I go look it’s really simple
your choo-choo choo choo choo you just
shoot these guys and all drops down you
think okay I’m gonna show this one
faster than I can do a thing or two here
right
take out the guy you’re two inches and
you’re dead in 2.3 seconds who’s
experienced to say hi now what happens
the child – Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin
about 45 minutes later you get your
second turn
am i right and then you’re now you’re
really test your dedicated your devoted
you’re focused you’re gonna take this
thing out choo choo choo choo choo you
last four seconds and you’re dead
outside of the kitchen 45 minutes again
Hoos have this experience say aye
why just a child always win it’s because
they’re faster
it’s cuz they’re smarter is because
they’re stronger no it’s because they
played this game before as a result they
have the secret to success they know the
road ahead if you know the runner has
you have incredible power called
anticipation anticipation is the
ultimate advantage C winners leaders
anticipate losers reaction the reason
you get beat if you don’t know where
things are happening so you’re reacting
the action is always stressful and yet
so much of my life is predictable if we
just were to society it not be caught up
in our day to day it’s predictable the
challenge you’re gonna have any
relationships or with your kids or with
your body or with your job well with
your economics or what’s your
mother-in-law responsible
these are predictable and you would
anticipate these things and put a
strategy in place you could take it all
out have to call your life that you
deserve in business it’s everything
those that anticipate those that lead
and then there’s those that follow the
followers are the reactionaries
so the more we can anticipate you can’t
anticipate and lead unless you first
learned how to lead yourself with a
different level and so I’d love to have
you to see and if you and I can start to
take control of our focus and we start
to keep tall the meaning of our lives
something really that meeting it that
empowers us is look what’s wrong is
always available isn’t it there’s always
in Imola a bird flu there’s always
something’s gonna kill the entire human
race tomorrow on TV and then there’s
your life what’s wrong is always
available and so is what’s right and you
have to take control of that focus
because otherwise you become the
follower and you get to live your life
even though you’re smart person we’re
all smart but it’s easy to get led
astray by everybody else’s focus isn’t
it and then offices let them create the
meeting for us and then all sudden we’re
settling for life far less than what we
desire or deserve so my approach is
really simple my approach is to say
let’s you and I just for a few little
time we have here by the way this to me
is a little time couple hours two half
hours I guess at the stage have a
minimum link to something I do is 50
hours five Europe and you know are you
kidding me I don’t like to hear myself
talk I like to see people do things so
often they build muscle not just
thoughts and so one thing someone asked
you to do in a few minutes is ready to
go from this passive mode that right now
and to full engagement because if you
get fully engaged it’s amazing what you
can accomplish in gym and you’re
partially engaged to get a little bitter
result when you’re not in your
disengaged y’all nobody got nothing and
we live in a society or most of us are
so overwhelmed there’s so much
information what I have a problem with
information we’re being drowning in
information but we’re starving for
wisdom so we gotta separate it out and
so one way to separate out is I like
talks about three things that can help
you increase your performance and your
life because what I’m obsessed by and
happened for 37 years is what decrease
increased performance for an individual
or an organization but also I’m equally
obsessed about what’s gonna make
somebody fulfilled because who’s had
this horrible experience who here has
ever achieved your goal and then your
brain said is this all there is
who’s had this experience here say hi
and that’s worse than failing at least
when you fail your blankets a can figure
this out and do it again a new way
but when you succeed in your miserable
you’re basically technically screwed so
what I want to make sure that you and I
use we set ourselves up to be able to
win so there’s three things I’d like to
walk you through one collector walk
these move out of the competitive edge
it’s gonna get you both to perform as
you want it’s the highest level and also
that’s a film that you want because if
you want to know my video I can tell you
there’s two master lessons in life
lesson one is the science of achievement
if you want an extraordinary life if you
want to make nificent life which by my
definition has nothing to do with me
its life on your terms some of you
what’s an extraordinary life it’s having
cool little company for some of you is
having a big billion-dollar company for
somebody that’s not a company it’s three
wonderful children that you totally love
in the door it’s been time but for some
of you it’s poetry for some of you it’s
making a difference the environment
students rawls its life on your terms
but if you have extraordinary life
you need a master never won the science
of achievement which most of you are
damn good at I would be in this room
right you know how to go from where you
are have a vision make it real
speeding that up that’s my business what
Mark talked about he actually showed me
the other day we were together couple
days ago and he showed me the very first
day he did his eat you mom which is
Smulian simple way of saying what do you
really want but your vision your values
why do you want it and walking through
the obstacles and the solutions
strategies to get where you want to go
he showed me on the back burner
expressed though where they designed on
the very first day sales whoops
and there you see that day where he
engaged he engaged in his vision instead
of settling for a life that someone else
has designed he had a great life
externalized died Oracle working for one
the most brilliant people on the face of
the earth and that’s how hard it would
be to leave there and start something
from scratch but he has something larger
that he wanted so how do you do that how
do you get yourself there you gotta
understand the science of achievement
but I know so many people I get the call
from its most successful in the world
this is first in politician leader of
some sort economic leader financial
trader and they call me up they want me
to change something their business but I
know what they really want they really
wanted to find
helmet still cuz successful without
fulfillment is the ultimate failure
who’s been found this right you make
everybody else feel great I’m it’s a
horrible example I hate it but we all
know an extraordinary spirit that took
us on life just recently probably lit up
more human beings than almost anybody
alive when it comes to humor and joy he
made everybody else feel happy but
himself
fat you don’t want that to be you if
there’s any gift he can get besides his
joy is the evidence of what you do I
move towards nobody missions gonna move
towards that but we do that a little
level we die a little bit along the way
by giving up what we really desire and
believe it my goal is make sure sees
that you wake that up so and by the way
fulfillment is as unique as our people
achieve that there’s laws right you do
this this money there are laws your body
there’s lost
we all have biochemical special unique
identities but there’s certain
fundamentals if you do them in masks you
are going to be overweight if you do
them differently you’re gonna be sitting
strong same thing with money let’s the
filmin is just unique is art art is what
one person makes is vehicle somebody
else can think is ugly and that’s
perfectly fine have you ever gonna rock
museum you see this big you can taste
the peach they have a different way of
being fulfilled right so those are two
kind of lessons for life so this is what
I like to do now photos today if you
wanna play number one let’s take a look
at what will give you the edge
who’s up for having a good better than
anything you do say and it’s not yes and
it’s not positive thinking if something
you can test cuz the edge is what’s
gonna get more out of you second I’d
like to show you how to create a
breakthrough who here is an area of your
life or there’s something you struggled
with for a while and you’re sick of
struggling with it and you’re sick of
making excuses you want to actually
change it today who’s got one of those
you know I say if you want to play full
out and show you that and the third
element
that’s the other tune it’s really the
one that affected business in life and
that’s the power of engagement all of
these are tied to engagement and I’ll
tell you a turgid me let’s just think
about how could I add the most value
here an engagement is one of those you
know newsflash words and the corporate
culture we all hear about Oh full
engagement partial engagement but it’s
really true engagement plays such a huge
role and some of the studies are out
right now in my model have you seen the
recent studies they’ve done 142
countries asking workers around the
world how would you describe yourself
fully engaged parcel engage disengage
aggressively disengage and guess what
they found that throwing up there around
the world 142 countries they found out
that 13% of employees worldwide says
they were actually engaged in their work
now for a bus in this room you’d say
that’s absurd something wrong with the
survey will you be right in a room like
this it’s full engagement or at least a
lot fuller engagement America has the
highest engagement of any country the
world’s 29 percent which sounds so much
better when you’re 13 like is the which
would you rather have a punch in the
face or kick in the stomach but let’s
flip that around and say does that
really mean it means 71% of people are
disengaged at work and the richest most
powerful most influential country in the
world it’s mind-boggling
now there’s only one study in sale as a
possible you see study up this Fetty
coming up a similar number slightly off
foot but pretty much the same ratios and
here’s this really interesting although
71% there’s a group in there about 24%
of them that are actively disengaged
you know that means that means they hate
what they do and they hate you now this
is pretty important isn’t it they hate
what they do they hate you and they will
actively work to disempower the
organization who has ever bumped into
one of these humans raise your hands say
hi okay so when you bubble these humans
it’s not usually a pleasant experience
and we all know they’re out there and by
the way how much damage can they do in
the world ass
you know social media everywhere where
good news travels fast and bad news
travels faster and people don’t care
what the truth is afterwards they just
listen to a story it makes it go so this
is an area that if you’re gonna change
your business you got to make it so
here’s what I’m looking at what makes
the difference in people what makes a
difference in an organization and I
would submit to you that it isn’t
getting a head start you can find
individuals we give everything to you
you can love on them give them a great
education they get a great economic
background and you can spend the rest of
life going in and out of rehab who’s
seen this before know what I’m talking
about say on the other hand you see
people that life’s kicked in the safe
somebody’s been abused mentally
emotionally physically you name it and
they become the Oprah’s of the world so
it’s certainly not advantage does not
come because you were given something
and by the way in business advantage
doesn’t come because you have most
resources dummies most resources don’t
win the most resourceful someplace with
the most resourceful companies the ones
where employees are the most engaged and
a statistic improvement you look around
you say who had the lead well before
YouTube there was V Mia been a year jump
pretty much the same technology just
didn’t engage as many people before
Google there was what happened Yahoo if
you’re out there what the hell happened
to you people right before Facebook
there was myspace Facebook was more
engaging engagement is really the new
factor being able to be fully gauged by
the way in your intimate relationship
how important is engagement some guys go
very important I want to put off as long
as I can no no I don’t mean that full
engagement that area’s gonna term the
level of fulfillment you have or don’t
have in a relationship right the more
engaged somebody feels that you are with
them the more energy that the more
connections more aliveness you have some
fun ball I’d like to kind of like the
experiment was here it’s kind of
discover what creates engagement for
real with you what creates disengagement
these are huge factors because if you
understand what they are your level of
performance your level results your
level of leadership your level of joy
will change very Veronica
who’s within me that engagement is not
just a term but something to make a
difference in your body let me see it’s
your hey and say ah now I’m asked if
your hand raised for some engagement cuz
here’s the research shows if you listen
to me passively as I’m talking here
guess what within a month you just
listen sit passively mostly you’re doing
it wrong but you’ve been doing your
whole life that you’ve been taught to do
you’ll remember about 10% of what I say
two months an hour which basically means
you wasted your time today and I wasted
mine
kenderson I’m thinking here cuz you want
to learn something do something change
something make something stronger better
say hi if that’s true then if all you do
is take notes which I don’t see anyone
barely doing with all thank you very
much to you I stand corrected and nudge
the people on either side what’s wrong
with you bitch come on where’s the mouse
right cuz I don’t know anybody’s got
back plate of memory my entire life I’ve
kept journals cuz here’s what I learned
early on writing it down if I never look
back at meet again the physical act of
writing it down drives the girls deeper
the petition is the mother of skill you
look at anyone who’s masterful why are
they masks or walking LeBron James do
what he can do cuz he said it a few
million times by you know Kobe will go
out and make 300 shots before he
believed that for everyday 300 shots
this seems freakin activity most people
take we’re all I heard that story I know
that thing I yeah if you’re not doing it
you don’t know you understand and
understanding and sweet all this for
almost gets with Starbucks if you gotta
master something you need to get the
repetition you get it in your body and
you bring emotion to it
enough motion enough repetition it gives
in your body and now it becomes physical
mass where you don’t think about it just
do it
mastery is tying your shoes most of you
can do this you know Johnson gum you
know send the test
simultaneously not some people some
people turn out while they’re doing a
beautifu if you do something enough
you’re confident up you’re certain up
that’s in your body that’s mastered so I
like to see if we couldn’t get into a
different level of mastery in this
and what I’m gonna ask you to do is by
the way if you listen to take notes just
write those notes down or you catch them
in what did you do
these two shows you’ll retain about 40
to 50 percent and set the future of
highly engaged record to do that now
might need their time and then the third
the third most probable one is if you
physically engage your body if they ask
you suppose she held back the answer for
in a few minutes I’m gonna ask you to
actively engage and engage with each
other do some crazy things these would
normally do but that does it brings up
engagement eighty ninety percent
retention because now it’s not just the
thought or right
it’s a feeling in your body as well and
if you do that you’re gonna retain it
who’s up for doing more and holding on
or seoc then I do that last couple
things one is I’m asking questions
please y’all at the answer you’re
already doing that you’re being very
kind but don’t be kind anymore do more
passionate intensity because I’m not
going to ask you questions you don’t
know the answer to this I want you to
throw this punches but if you yell out
the answer you’ll activate your body’s
nervous system make sense and the more
you activate the more energy you have we
live in a passive society and if we’re
gonna engage anyway
the companies that engage the companies
that have or have records of 24 to 25
percent in the country highest levels
engage of employees companies like
Google companies like Salesforce
companies like Apple companies like
Facebook and by the way guess what all
the research shows 22 percent more
profitability almost one for one for
every percentage of increased engagement
you almost get any piece of
profitability but I would argue you get
that in your personal life as well the
more engage you are the more the other
personal succumbing games you want to
get somebody gauge you get engaged think
about everyone who serves a leader
what’s our job to do as a leader our job
is maximize resources right finally take
whatever resources getting more out of
it ourselves other people are economics
our business our technology that’s the
job of a leader but you can’t maximize
resources if you don’t have full
engagement so I’d like to see if we put
increase that it’s a one simple way of
doing that increasing that engagement is
to start with us because by the way are
you gonna gauge other people if you’re
not engaged yes or no
yes or no are you gonna be able to touch
other people if you’re not touched are
you gonna move other people if you’re
not moved and so by the way here’s the
problem how many do you weigh come on
you have certain days you wake up and
you think yourself today I don’t want to
talk to any people who I’m in this room
has days like this you know I talked to
anybody here say hi come on feel some
energy ah but as a professional you got
to do that most times and if you fake it
do people feel it so I want to show you
some ways to change it but here’s the
reward of engagement if you can become a
person engage others you will now become
an extraordinary leader not a mediocre
or good one as far as I’m concerned good
is the enemy of brains corny as it
sounds
so think about it I’ll give an example
this book done yet I do this book
because back in 2008 I felt like I was
back in my childhood
everybody around they were suffering and
I hate suffering most of the skills I
developers does I want to taste my
suffering and take him to place with a
toy and aliveness and how the vitality
abundance or whatever I could do now and
so I’ve done the guy that cuts my hair
my barber is like his kid can’t go to
college he’s lost half what he’s got to
do a billionaire client of mine he’s no
longer a billionaire he’s feeling
equally bad he thinks but suffering is
suffering in somebody’s mind right so I
thought to myself something’s got to be
done and he like most of us like
somebody’s gonna do something in 2010
when things he actually got worse and
the system wasn’t changed I started
reading everything I could read started
watching read watch and I watched the
documentary called inside job he buddy
here’s the inside job if you didn’t see
it was Matt Damon did the documentary on
it and it won the Academy Award and it
actually walked through systematically
and showed how the entire world economic
experience our entire economies the
world was almost destroyed by a few
people may identify who they were how
they did it they document it all and
then they showed what happened to them
and what happened does anybody now
no not nothing nothing would have been a
reward compared to what we should be got
they were actually put in charge of the
turnaround and they were given your
money and mine we were taxed so they had
to put their money back revoir
so at the end of this film depending
upon your personality if you haven’t
seen it I should warn you I’ve wanted to
reaction truly be very depressed or a
very test I was on the piss side I was
so angry I thought to myself nothing’s
been done this is insane something’s got
to be done I thought you know everybody
says something to be done but what can I
do and I thought you know what I’ve got
access for 21 years most people think
I’m the happy bouncing round positive
thinking
meaning guy on an infomercial from 20
years ago but I have continued to grow
not taller hopefully but in all that
time for 21 years I coach Paul Tudor
Jones one of the top 10 financial
traders in the history of the world he’s
a man has made more money than almost
anyone on earth go on with George Soros
CEO the names you may now but Paul is
really unique in that Paul found himself
in the positions in the 1987 when the
stock market class the largest
percentage in today still to this day he
made 20 percent from the whole world
losing everything he made 200 percent
that year for his clients just
unbelievable and then it was like the
guy that walked on the moon what do you
do if you walk on the moon you see then
you know you look at that incredible
view of the earth it’s you seeing it’s
not a photograph you come back to the
earth you shake the president’s hand you
better take the tape right now what do
you did and a lot of those astronauts if
you know the story actually became
depressed because they didn’t have what
I call a compelling future to look
forward to so Paul had a little fall
back and I was called in to turn around
keen in insurance letting everybody
around and took it out what it took to
do it and build the strategy that put
him back in state he’s been successful
and made money every year for 21
straight years every single year there’s
no one this class has done that no one
pretty Maisy
I was listening to give example we were
together and back you remember in the
tech bubble of 2000 blew up all made
money I find a side by side every single
day easy nearly me every single day I’m
talking some ways communicating it where
I’m gonna see him every three or four
months to be there in person make sure
we
tweaking the system I’m not there to be
a positive thinking on G to beat that
crap I’m not prepared for anything comes
how do we got the strategy I’ve always
been a strategist I’ve never believed in
positive thinking I never told people
you should go to your gym or go to your
garden better yet and chant there’s no
beads there’s no bees there’s no Beach
there’s no weeds I’m like here’s the
weed let’s pull it out that’s what I do
with him 21 years 21 years includes 9/11
when the whole markets are blowing up
making money
21 years includes everything we saw in
the subprime crisis making money it
includes when we all went through the
dropping bull those are associates
you’ve not locked up so I’ve been there
were all those pieces I got a chance to
learn the sky side-by-side and I’ve been
able to contribute to him in a
significant way so I got I got access so
I decide I’m gonna go find a way to
interview the 50 most influential
financial brilliant minds on the face of
the earth not people you meet on the
Internet
not people intelligent scheming it you
want to buy and tell you know some
mythical mutual fund that gives you 12
percent every year it doesn’t exist but
the real guys and the real ladies to do
it but how you gonna do that huh I’ll
call up to 20 Robbins telling some
interview you you read 27 billion
dollars and like your top
you have to engage people so I’m gonna
show you some ways to do that I will
tell you what you can engage people
there is no limit to the resources you
can access if you want real wealth
wealth is access to resources it doesn’t
have to own them all just access to them
you do whatever you want whoever you
want to go
that’s real wealth and you can do it if
you can engage people engaging people to
find a way to their needs not yours
if you meet their needs your needs can
be bad as well and it can be done in a
way that has integrity and love and
vision and creativity and it can truly
be a synergy I’ll give you some examples
though just for two seconds that we’re
gonna do some things that engage to get
the sense of its value one of the first
people I call that was Carl Icahn Carl
Icahn
it’s a very gentle soul the man has a
hard time expressing his true feelings
about things who knows who Carl Icahn is
he’s worth 27 billion dollars he is made
more money in fact on the cover of Time
magazine they called him the master of
the universe because Keplinger did a
little study and found out warren
buffett is not the most profitable
person you could invest it with her like
others in the last fourteen years you
would have made sixteen hundred percent
with Carl Icahn
seventy five percent over on the S&P
with the ups and downs neck I’m talking
about half translation but if you’d
invest it with him in 1968 his company
you’d have an average return of thirty
one percent for all these decades
doubling your money every 2.6 years if
he was Warren Buffett you get a mere
twenty percent this is an amazing guy he
agrees to the interview I use every tool
I got I get there and the first thing he
does is he throws out my camera could no
I don’t want this camera girl I don’t
want this I don’t want the lights I
don’t want this way we’ll do you agree I
don’t care it’s my mind get him out of
here I’m master the universe
don’t you understand it’s okay no
problem let’s do the audio my audio team
does no audio
so what am I supposed to do he goes you
got a pen come on you got ten minutes
ten minutes all my interviews are
supposed to be 45 minutes the average
one went three hours how engaged I
figured out how to engage these people
and I found something inside of them
that really wanted to give not to me
they got was initialized to other people
and I got them something things nobody
tells Jack Bogle been in the business 63
years showed up for 45 minutes four
hours later left his office
and afterwards he wrote a quote for any
said it was the most probing most
intense interview had in 63 years
provocative and probing slicer now that
says to me pretty cool thing that means
I engaged him better than anyone in 63
years I got those answers already him
not worried to me
pretty cool I went to dine him read out
how many know Ray Dalio is in the show
look how few people I read that Ray
Dalio has been called the DaVinci’s and
Destiny’s been called Steve Jobs
investing but most you never hear them
because you couldn’t access in a million
years but if your press the United
States if your husband said if you run
China you know he is and I’ll tell you
why
to work with ray first of all the last
23 years he’s made 21 percent per year
compounded for fees do all those
environments unbelievable but here’s all
it takes to work with Ray you need a
five billion dollar net worth and a
hundred million dollars is the initial
investment and that was ten years ago
now he won’t take your money to my hot
rich Sheila you’re talking to him and he
gets a phone call it’s the prime
minister of China who wants some Sochi a
large hedge fund might be 15 billion
dollars raised 168 billion dollars I got
on ray harder what happened with Ray was
he’s been a fan mind turned out for
about 20 years but what I did I spend 15
hours to be ready to engage him 15 hours
of total immersion so I could pitching
catch with him so I didn’t just talk I
could do it that he wouldn’t just throw
the ball I could put it back to him and
guess what at the end he is built
something up the ears all this
all-weather fun which is designed to
make money no matter what market
you don’t have to know the market she
says what if I die someday I will tell
my what kids have money how will my
throne property care is that money
here’s what I’m gonna do I’m gonna
figure out why a balanced portfolio
doesn’t work in 2008 or 2009 answers
wrong and the DaVinci of investing fear
doubt has done it to herself for decade
and a half and he tested it back to 1925
and it just makes money in any
environments and now his clients get to
do it not the 1% not the point though
the ooo 1% so I’m sitting out with rain
I didn’t explain how it works and at the
end we’re engaged three hours into it he
tells me how this works I said this is
beautiful but I’m doing this so I’m
gonna be losing money I’m giving money
away I want people to have the answers
you just got done saying you have a
personal to both manners he’ll never
work they can’t possibly do it they
might be sincere they might even put
their money the same places for you but
how many gold medals if they once said
those are only people to win so in a few
it’s a giant game with T winners
so you said they’re not gonna win with
anybody else so I said this is worthless
without knowing the exact recipe how
much in this how much in that published
by this percentage where I got a
thousand dollars or twenty million do it
no there’s twenty that’s that’s my
secret sauce that’s what five billion
dollars and a hundred billion used to
get you I said yeah but you won’t take
anybody’s money yes I said you giving
away half your fortune was 14 billion
you’re giving me the secret sauce he
goes it’s really complex I can’t believe
you share it that way I said I know it’s
complex and I’m a pretty smart guy I’m
good at simplifying I believe complexity
is the enemy of execution
that’s what it is you got to make it so
simple people do it complexity to the
enemy of execution so I’ll get chef will
you get it to me I’ll make it simply
goes well it uses leverage I should give
me one that doesn’t leverage did anybody
could do they can do with ETF’s as well
look like it won’t be perfect I said
your worst plants gonna be better than
anybody else’s best plan and then he
like this moment of engaged in this
magic moment you open that but he goes
okay it’s not right like crazy I got the
video camera going I’m feeling this
vibration in my mind I left so excited
knowing it was something special to not
knowing what was but that’s formula
that’s looking to Hightower 30 billion
dollar asset company says test this 30
years 40 years 75 years house is done
over all that time period in the last 30
years lost money four times made money
every the time enough four times for the
losses with 0.003 so really practically
lost money three times you know the
average loss was 1.9 percent the average
game just under 10 all in the largest
loss in 75 years it’s been right 85% of
times the largest loss three point nine
five two that was 2008 less than 4% on
the rest of the world top the bottom
lost 51% it’s in my book Butler and so
much my partner’s like business I see
you know Ezra great business we hope
people do if they want to do it but it
wasn’t offered in that spirit so it’s
there I tell you this because I want you
to stand with engagement and get
anything but engagement I want you to
just find it once you experience it so
what’s the first thing the loud you to
gauge something what’s the number one
thing right now if I said to you what
what is it how do you think mark is a
fairly engaging guide without blowing
smoke coming up to say this guy’s pretty
damn engaging say I what makes you
engaging what makes somebody you find
engaging what makes them engaging T’s
what is it about them
think about it see that what makes
somebody engaging the positive what’s
that I contact make somebody engaging
she’s talking about another level of
engagement I can feel it right now what
else creates something gates come on
smile what else makes them engaging
energy passion talking the truth instead
of what you want to hear who loves
somebody will tell you the damn truth
and world we teach the world not even
reality television is freaking real
anymore right raw and real may not sound
good it sure feels good because you know
it’s their sincerity when you feel like
something how about caring you say like
somebody truly cares about you does that
make it engage more alright what makes
something disengaging to you what makes
you disengage with someone lying when
you can’t trust them arrogance and they
try to control you what this engages you
when they come up to hit on you and
they’re not even committed you’re those
like the twelfth person you can feel it
when they’re insincere disengages you
what’s that when it when the
communication are that relationship is
one-sided totally disengaged she doesn’t
in authenticity where as authentic does
engage you doesn’t right what’s that yes
when they’re on their phone talking to
you while they’re also doing something
else how many love this experience and
yet we’ve made it culturally okay
staying behind one generation and so how
your mind for this or you live in the
world I guess it’s up to it but all the
things you said are true when you feel
that someone cares about you that’s
interested you as sincere with you
shares the same interest is trying to
accomplish something if there’s that
caring sincerity mission passion is
passion something gauges you just enough
and then disengagement the opposite but
all of them start with one thing that I
want to do right now so we can shift
this here because you’ve been sitting
way too long and so quietly been so nice
but this passive learning is blocked to
end now I just did it so wouldn’t feel
jolting only began now we can step into
the real game here’s I want to do that
first of all energy the energy is the
base how many green energy is engaging
say if you want to change something in
your life and you are what I call energy
poor Low Energy are you gonna follow
through yes or no you love your husband
or wife but you’re exhausted love you
love there is no passion there is no
intimacy without energy am i right
you’re not gonna go to build a business
without energy you see this crazy man
he’s filled with energy day night night
and day Sir Richard Branson how much
energy is that man had he’s insane in
this energy anybody I’ve ever met who’s
really has this compelling ability to
engage with people its energy but I’ll
be born with it some may be most not
because I’ve every time I see them and I
also see some of them like Richard
Richard is a ball of fire of energy and
then he’s not he’s actually as their
internal guy in many ways he’s external
when he wants to go do something he’s
crazy and willing to risk his life’s not
a business and business he goes okay I’m
gonna take virgin and make virgin
airways so how could I lose oh I’m gonna
make a deal with Boeing that if they
sail I get to give him the Jets back
that’s what he thinks this life let me
go in the middle of a balloon in the
middle sky I hope happens the point
is engaging people are that kind of
energy doesn’t matter who they are where
they are they have that kind of
experience so when you and I gotta do
this better tap that out so how many of
yous had times when you in the flow when
energy was going through you I you have
to think about the right thing was sad
the right thing came out of who’s been
in this place for say hi say hi who’s
here at the time you did something else
I can’t believe I said that I can’t
believe I did that that was so stupid we
say I
who’s done something raft you didn’t
that was me I don’t hide it that
that was cool who’s ever impressed
yourself say hi now you seem person up
in one situation you’re an idiot the
other one you’re brilliant who’s ever
forgotten how to spell your own number
let’s say your own email or your home
phone number or how to spell a difficult
word like tha we use your hands here in
fact phone numbers crazy now for most of
us right because now we have this
outboard brain if we lose this frame
we’re screwed I don’t even know how to
call my mom for God’s sakes right you
don’t know what to do I’m gonna have
this thing so the point of the matter is
if we increase the interesting that work
so now here’s the big word of energy
come from this energy come from sleep
yes or not really who here has ever
slept eight hours and still been tired
as let me see your hands right here
okay so that wasn’t it my Apple is this
food that gives you energy really really
Thanksgivings coming I know what you’re
gonna do right you’re gonna get to
Thanksgiving it’s about giving things
you’re gonna take care of this nurtures
body of yours you’re gonna say now you
know give me the vegetables a little
this little that right now what do
people do at Thanksgiving what are they
doing eat everything within reach and
we’re totally stuffed and you can’t have
another bite
and you say I’ll never one I’ll never
eat again and somebody goes pumpkin pie
you’re okay come on who’s knows I’m
talking about here and by the way what
happens after you saw like going for a
run what do you want to do at the end of
that meal tell me what who here is ever
fastest four five six seven days of work
on the fast does your energy increase or
decrease is you no longer eat which one
increases massively so if it’s not food
and it’s not sleep don’t get me wrong
because you’re useful then what is it
the answer is it’s psychology it’s a
mindset it’s a decision inside yourself
when you say I will no longer talk
a low-energy my life because low energy
equals relationship that’s a
technical term low energy means low
lousy business low poor energy means I
no longer have the impact on my children
someone else was greater and she’s going
to and if we can find a way to increase
our energy and here’s the good news
about it it’s psychology and its
movement the way you move will create it
[Music]
you
you
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