mina-san ohayo-gozaimasu juice Tequesta
mina-san ohayo-gozaimasu juice Tequesta create a home Tony arigato gozaimashita
my name is Laura Crisco and I was born
my name is Laura Crisco and I was born in Japan I grew up here in the United
in Japan I grew up here in the United
in Japan I grew up here in the United States but right after college I
States but right after college I
States but right after college I returned to Japan to work for Honda
returned to Japan to work for Honda
returned to Japan to work for Honda Motor Company I was the only American
Motor Company I was the only American
Motor Company I was the only American woman working with thousands and
woman working with thousands and
woman working with thousands and thousands of Japanese colleagues and I
thousands of Japanese colleagues and I
thousands of Japanese colleagues and I really wanted to fit in
really wanted to fit in
really wanted to fit in I even wore a company required women’s
I even wore a company required women’s
I even wore a company required women’s only uniform
only uniform
only uniform it was a blue polyester vest and skirt
hmm
hmm unattractive but even wearing the
unattractive but even wearing the
unattractive but even wearing the uniform I felt different the way I spoke
uniform I felt different the way I spoke
uniform I felt different the way I spoke Japanese sounded different the way I
Japanese sounded different the way I
Japanese sounded different the way I looked was different people were very
looked was different people were very
looked was different people were very friendly but I felt watched there was a
friendly but I felt watched there was a
friendly but I felt watched there was a distinct us-and-them dynamic and I was
distinct us-and-them dynamic and I was
distinct us-and-them dynamic and I was definitely of them how many of you have
definitely of them how many of you have
definitely of them how many of you have felt like of them maybe it was in the
felt like of them maybe it was in the
felt like of them maybe it was in the school lunchroom where other kids made
school lunchroom where other kids made
school lunchroom where other kids made fun of your food gross or in a classroom
fun of your food gross or in a classroom
fun of your food gross or in a classroom where others didn’t share your viewpoint
where others didn’t share your viewpoint
where others didn’t share your viewpoint or maybe you felt like them because of
or maybe you felt like them because of
or maybe you felt like them because of the way you looked or maybe it had
the way you looked or maybe it had
the way you looked or maybe it had nothing to do with your appearance and
nothing to do with your appearance and
nothing to do with your appearance and everything to do with the fact that you
everything to do with the fact that you
everything to do with the fact that you were the new kid the us-versus-them
were the new kid the us-versus-them
were the new kid the us-versus-them dynamic can be harmless Yankee’s mats
dynamic can be harmless Yankee’s mats
dynamic can be harmless Yankee’s mats but it can also be harmful causing
but it can also be harmful causing
but it can also be harmful causing people to feel unwelcome or even unsafe
people to feel unwelcome or even unsafe
people to feel unwelcome or even unsafe for some of us feeling like a them is a
for some of us feeling like a them is a
for some of us feeling like a them is a temporary passing situation but for many
temporary passing situation but for many
temporary passing situation but for many people in the United States
people in the United States
people in the United States feeling like a them is a way of life
culture gaps are inevitable because we
culture gaps are inevitable because we grow up differently we have different
grow up differently we have different
grow up differently we have different languages different norms of behavior
languages different norms of behavior
languages different norms of behavior some people shake hands when they meet
some people shake hands when they meet
some people shake hands when they meet others bow some people kiss three times
others bow some people kiss three times
others bow some people kiss three times on the cheek when I talk about culture
on the cheek when I talk about culture
on the cheek when I talk about culture gaps I’m talking about gaps caused by a
gaps I’m talking about gaps caused by a
gaps I’m talking about gaps caused by a wide range of factors that make up any
wide range of factors that make up any
wide range of factors that make up any person’s identity some of these factors
person’s identity some of these factors
person’s identity some of these factors are visible it could be things like your
are visible it could be things like your
are visible it could be things like your age or your race and some factors are
age or your race and some factors are
age or your race and some factors are invisible it could be things like the
invisible it could be things like the
invisible it could be things like the languages you speak or your life
languages you speak or your life
languages you speak or your life experiences for 30 years I’ve been
experiences for 30 years I’ve been
experiences for 30 years I’ve been helping people bridge culture gaps
helping people bridge culture gaps
helping people bridge culture gaps around the world and I have seen the
around the world and I have seen the
around the world and I have seen the harmful impact of the us-versus-them
harmful impact of the us-versus-them
harmful impact of the us-versus-them dynamic causing misunderstandings or
dynamic causing misunderstandings or
dynamic causing misunderstandings or hurt feelings sometimes the negative
hurt feelings sometimes the negative
hurt feelings sometimes the negative impact is even bigger resulting in
impact is even bigger resulting in
impact is even bigger resulting in costly business and legal problems but
costly business and legal problems but
costly business and legal problems but I’ve also seen situations where
I’ve also seen situations where
I’ve also seen situations where individuals find ways to successfully
individuals find ways to successfully
individuals find ways to successfully bridge culture gaps and this this
bridge culture gaps and this this
bridge culture gaps and this this results in stronger relationships better
results in stronger relationships better
results in stronger relationships better working environments and improved
working environments and improved
working environments and improved business I’d like to tell you about one
business I’d like to tell you about one
business I’d like to tell you about one small subsidiary in New Jersey where the
small subsidiary in New Jersey where the
small subsidiary in New Jersey where the gap between Americans and Japanese had
gap between Americans and Japanese had
gap between Americans and Japanese had grown so divisive that people didn’t
grown so divisive that people didn’t
grown so divisive that people didn’t even greet each other in the morning
even greet each other in the morning
even greet each other in the morning over the years this gap had hardened
over the years this gap had hardened
over the years this gap had hardened into a palpable divide and you could see
into a palpable divide and you could see
into a palpable divide and you could see it if you walked into the cafeteria you
it if you walked into the cafeteria you
it if you walked into the cafeteria you saw people seated and segregated by
saw people seated and segregated by
saw people seated and segregated by nationality employees wrote separate
nationality employees wrote separate
nationality employees wrote separate reports they had separate meetings and
reports they had separate meetings and
reports they had separate meetings and this of course wasted time it failed to
this of course wasted time it failed to
this of course wasted time it failed to leverage their common goals even though
leverage their common goals even though
leverage their common goals even though there are fewer than 50 people in this
there are fewer than 50 people in this
there are fewer than 50 people in this one
one
one small office there were some who didn’t
small office there were some who didn’t
small office there were some who didn’t know each other’s names but inside this
know each other’s names but inside this
know each other’s names but inside this divided community was one American woman
divided community was one American woman
divided community was one American woman who knew all of her Japanese colleagues
who knew all of her Japanese colleagues
who knew all of her Japanese colleagues and she liked them
and she liked them
and she liked them she knew their first and last names if
she knew their first and last names if
she knew their first and last names if they passed in the hall she would greet
they passed in the hall she would greet
they passed in the hall she would greet them and unlike many of her American
them and unlike many of her American
them and unlike many of her American colleagues if she had a problem at work
colleagues if she had a problem at work
colleagues if she had a problem at work she would go directly to a Japanese
she would go directly to a Japanese
she would go directly to a Japanese colleague for help do you want to know
colleague for help do you want to know
colleague for help do you want to know her secret she smoked just like all of
her secret she smoked just like all of
her secret she smoked just like all of the Japanese colleagues yeah so every
the Japanese colleagues yeah so every
the Japanese colleagues yeah so every day several times a day she would go
day several times a day she would go
day several times a day she would go into this small cloudy room for a
into this small cloudy room for a
into this small cloudy room for a nicotine fix and she would chitchat with
nicotine fix and she would chitchat with
nicotine fix and she would chitchat with her Japanese colleagues and she got to
her Japanese colleagues and she got to
her Japanese colleagues and she got to know them both their visible and
know them both their visible and
know them both their visible and invisible factors and over time these
invisible factors and over time these
invisible factors and over time these frequent interactions formed the basis
frequent interactions formed the basis
frequent interactions formed the basis of a relationship that fundamentally
of a relationship that fundamentally
of a relationship that fundamentally disrupted the us-versus-them dynamic
disrupted the us-versus-them dynamic
disrupted the us-versus-them dynamic that had infected the rest of the office
that had infected the rest of the office
that had infected the rest of the office so I feel like I need to make something
so I feel like I need to make something
so I feel like I need to make something clear I’m not suggesting that you guys
clear I’m not suggesting that you guys
clear I’m not suggesting that you guys start smoking right okay or vaping
start smoking right okay or vaping
start smoking right okay or vaping mm-hmm but I do want to suggest that
mm-hmm but I do want to suggest that
mm-hmm but I do want to suggest that each of us every day make choices that
each of us every day make choices that
each of us every day make choices that either perpetuate or limit the
either perpetuate or limit the
either perpetuate or limit the us-versus-them dynamic we choose whether
us-versus-them dynamic we choose whether
us-versus-them dynamic we choose whether to say hello to someone or not we choose
to say hello to someone or not we choose
to say hello to someone or not we choose where to sit in a big room like this we
where to sit in a big room like this we
where to sit in a big room like this we choose to make the effort to learn to
choose to make the effort to learn to
choose to make the effort to learn to say someone’s name correctly or we
say someone’s name correctly or we
say someone’s name correctly or we choose to have lunch by ourselves or see
choose to have lunch by ourselves or see
choose to have lunch by ourselves or see it as an opportunity to connect with
it as an opportunity to connect with
it as an opportunity to connect with others the only way to bridge culture
others the only way to bridge culture
others the only way to bridge culture gaps is through face-to-face
gaps is through face-to-face
gaps is through face-to-face interactions of increasing depth
interactions of increasing depth
interactions of increasing depth and these face-to-face interactions
and these face-to-face interactions
and these face-to-face interactions start with a single gesture one American
start with a single gesture one American
start with a single gesture one American woman I know fundamentally changed the
woman I know fundamentally changed the
woman I know fundamentally changed the culture of her company with a $10 box of
culture of her company with a $10 box of
culture of her company with a $10 box of donuts she was in a brand-new job in a
donuts she was in a brand-new job in a
donuts she was in a brand-new job in a huge Japanese company right here in New
huge Japanese company right here in New
huge Japanese company right here in New York and in her department there were
York and in her department there were
York and in her department there were Japanese speakers and English speakers
Japanese speakers and English speakers
Japanese speakers and English speakers these two groups were divided by work
these two groups were divided by work
these two groups were divided by work responsibilities and they were also
responsibilities and they were also
responsibilities and they were also divided by where they sat in the office
divided by where they sat in the office
divided by where they sat in the office Japanese colleagues sat on one side
Japanese colleagues sat on one side
Japanese colleagues sat on one side English colleagues on the other and over
English colleagues on the other and over
English colleagues on the other and over time this divide had kind of taken root
time this divide had kind of taken root
time this divide had kind of taken root and there was basically an unspoken rule
and there was basically an unspoken rule
and there was basically an unspoken rule that everybody just stuck to their own
that everybody just stuck to their own
that everybody just stuck to their own side of the office so while there was no
side of the office so while there was no
side of the office so while there was no physical barrier there may have well
physical barrier there may have well
physical barrier there may have well have been a 10-foot brick wall so it’s a
have been a 10-foot brick wall so it’s a
have been a 10-foot brick wall so it’s a Friday of this woman’s first week of
Friday of this woman’s first week of
Friday of this woman’s first week of work and she thinks I’m gonna get
work and she thinks I’m gonna get
work and she thinks I’m gonna get doughnuts to share with my brand-new
doughnuts to share with my brand-new
doughnuts to share with my brand-new colleagues
colleagues
colleagues nice right so she’s sharing the
nice right so she’s sharing the
nice right so she’s sharing the doughnuts with the English speaking
doughnuts with the English speaking
doughnuts with the English speaking colleagues and then she makes a choice
colleagues and then she makes a choice
colleagues and then she makes a choice that no one in the company has ever made
that no one in the company has ever made
that no one in the company has ever made and she makes this choice because she’s
and she makes this choice because she’s
and she makes this choice because she’s new she hasn’t had a chance to learn all
new she hasn’t had a chance to learn all
new she hasn’t had a chance to learn all the rules spoken or unspoken so she
the rules spoken or unspoken so she
the rules spoken or unspoken so she takes a doughnuts over to the Japanese
takes a doughnuts over to the Japanese
takes a doughnuts over to the Japanese side and offers one to a colleague and
side and offers one to a colleague and
side and offers one to a colleague and the Japanese woman is kind of like wow
the Japanese woman is kind of like wow
the Japanese woman is kind of like wow surprised but she takes the doughnut and
surprised but she takes the doughnut and
surprised but she takes the doughnut and says thank you the next week the
says thank you the next week the
says thank you the next week the Japanese woman has some rice crackers
Japanese woman has some rice crackers
Japanese woman has some rice crackers and she crosses over this invisible
and she crosses over this invisible
and she crosses over this invisible barrier and offers these to the
barrier and offers these to the
barrier and offers these to the english-speaking colleagues and within
english-speaking colleagues and within
english-speaking colleagues and within days they are calling each other by name
days they are calling each other by name
days they are calling each other by name and sharing cell phone chargers
and then these two women start to get to
and then these two women start to get to know each other they’re curious about
know each other they’re curious about
know each other they’re curious about each other’s cultures and languages and
each other’s cultures and languages and
each other’s cultures and languages and so they decide to start a word of the
so they decide to start a word of the
so they decide to start a word of the day email exchange one day there’s a
day email exchange one day there’s a
day email exchange one day there’s a word in English the next day the words
word in English the next day the words
word in English the next day the words in Japanese and they share this back and
in Japanese and they share this back and
in Japanese and they share this back and forth and other people hear about it and
forth and other people hear about it and
forth and other people hear about it and they want to be included and so this
they want to be included and so this
they want to be included and so this group becomes bigger and bigger and
group becomes bigger and bigger and
group becomes bigger and bigger and grows so popular that the company
grows so popular that the company
grows so popular that the company decides to start offering language
decides to start offering language
decides to start offering language lessons to anyone who wants to learn and
lessons to anyone who wants to learn and
lessons to anyone who wants to learn and these classes now have gotten so popular
these classes now have gotten so popular
these classes now have gotten so popular that as soon as the company lists a new
that as soon as the company lists a new
that as soon as the company lists a new class being offered registration fills
class being offered registration fills
class being offered registration fills up in ten minutes
up in ten minutes
up in ten minutes the us-versus-them culture in this
the us-versus-them culture in this
the us-versus-them culture in this company is being bridged by small
company is being bridged by small
company is being bridged by small gestures every day like hundreds of
gestures every day like hundreds of
gestures every day like hundreds of employees each time they use a word in
employees each time they use a word in
employees each time they use a word in the other language this is how we
the other language this is how we
the other language this is how we disrupt the us-versus-them dynamic and
disrupt the us-versus-them dynamic and
disrupt the us-versus-them dynamic and it all starts with a box of donuts or
it all starts with a box of donuts or
it all starts with a box of donuts or simply saying hello when I was 22 and
simply saying hello when I was 22 and
simply saying hello when I was 22 and working for Honda and Japan I felt like
working for Honda and Japan I felt like
working for Honda and Japan I felt like of them every day I tried to bridge the
of them every day I tried to bridge the
of them every day I tried to bridge the gap I had tea breaks with the other
gap I had tea breaks with the other
gap I had tea breaks with the other women we’d have lunch but my
women we’d have lunch but my
women we’d have lunch but my breakthrough event was hosting a
breakthrough event was hosting a
breakthrough event was hosting a Halloween party for my coworkers
after this event I developed a much
after this event I developed a much closer relationship with two of the
closer relationship with two of the
closer relationship with two of the women in particular we started spending
women in particular we started spending
women in particular we started spending time together on weekends we took trips
time together on weekends we took trips
time together on weekends we took trips together and because of these two
together and because of these two
together and because of these two relationships I started to feel much
relationships I started to feel much
relationships I started to feel much less like a them and more like a we and
less like a them and more like a we and
less like a them and more like a we and feeling like we made my daily work life
feeling like we made my daily work life
feeling like we made my daily work life much more enjoyable but being a we
much more enjoyable but being a we
much more enjoyable but being a we contributed to one of the greatest
contributed to one of the greatest
contributed to one of the greatest achievements of my professional life
remember that
remember that women’s only uniform but it was a
women’s only uniform but it was a
women’s only uniform but it was a company rule I assumed that the Japanese
company rule I assumed that the Japanese
company rule I assumed that the Japanese women did like it but through my two
women did like it but through my two
women did like it but through my two friends I learned something and then I
friends I learned something and then I
friends I learned something and then I learned that most of the women in the
learned that most of the women in the
learned that most of the women in the company so I decided to try to abolish
company so I decided to try to abolish
company so I decided to try to abolish women’s uniform I know I did I recruited
women’s uniform I know I did I recruited
women’s uniform I know I did I recruited a diverse group of people we had
a diverse group of people we had
a diverse group of people we had Japanese women there was one French guy
Japanese women there was one French guy
Japanese women there was one French guy an American man but there was no us and
an American man but there was no us and
an American man but there was no us and them in our group we were in complete
them in our group we were in complete
them in our group we were in complete agreement that that uniform had to go
agreement that that uniform had to go
agreement that that uniform had to go and finally after a lot of work we did
and finally after a lot of work we did
and finally after a lot of work we did it we changed corporate policy that has
it we changed corporate policy that has
it we changed corporate policy that has now been in effect for 30 years
now been in effect for 30 years
now been in effect for 30 years positively impacting the lives of
positively impacting the lives of
positively impacting the lives of thousands of female employees and it
thousands of female employees and it
thousands of female employees and it saved the company some money you’re
saved the company some money you’re
saved the company some money you’re welcome Honda and this is how a
welcome Honda and this is how a
welcome Honda and this is how a Halloween party led to vastly improved
Halloween party led to vastly improved
Halloween party led to vastly improved corporate change small gestures are the
corporate change small gestures are the
corporate change small gestures are the starting point for bridging any culture
starting point for bridging any culture
starting point for bridging any culture gap and I’m not talking about gaps only
gap and I’m not talking about gaps only
gap and I’m not talking about gaps only related to business or only related to
related to business or only related to
related to business or only related to people from different countries you
people from different countries you
people from different countries you never know where your small just
never know where your small just
never know where your small just might lead you might make someone feel
might lead you might make someone feel
might lead you might make someone feel welcome
welcome
welcome you might make someone feel safe you
you might make someone feel safe you
you might make someone feel safe you might trigger a series of actions that
might trigger a series of actions that
might trigger a series of actions that fundamentally changes the way people
fundamentally changes the way people
fundamentally changes the way people think you might change laws I get so
think you might change laws I get so
think you might change laws I get so excited thinking about the positive
excited thinking about the positive
excited thinking about the positive impact that small gestures can make
impact that small gestures can make
impact that small gestures can make imagine the us-versus-them gaps we could
imagine the us-versus-them gaps we could
imagine the us-versus-them gaps we could close the hurt feelings we could heal
close the hurt feelings we could heal
close the hurt feelings we could heal the misunderstandings and dangerous
the misunderstandings and dangerous
the misunderstandings and dangerous actions that could be avoided if
actions that could be avoided if
actions that could be avoided if everyone in this room picked them and
everyone in this room picked them and
everyone in this room picked them and committed to taking one action what if
committed to taking one action what if
committed to taking one action what if everyone whoever watches this took one
everyone whoever watches this took one
everyone whoever watches this took one action sure some of those actions will
action sure some of those actions will
action sure some of those actions will remain singular but some of those
remain singular but some of those
remain singular but some of those actions will grow into meaningful change
actions will grow into meaningful change
actions will grow into meaningful change it’s true I know I did it I believed so
it’s true I know I did it I believed so
it’s true I know I did it I believed so much in the power of small gestures I am
much in the power of small gestures I am
much in the power of small gestures I am going to challenge all of you right now
everyone has them most of us have many
everyone has them most of us have many thumbs so right now I’d like to ask
thumbs so right now I’d like to ask
thumbs so right now I’d like to ask everyone to think of them maybe it’s one
everyone to think of them maybe it’s one
everyone to think of them maybe it’s one person maybe it’s a whole group of
person maybe it’s a whole group of
person maybe it’s a whole group of people but just pick one okay now I’d
people but just pick one okay now I’d
people but just pick one okay now I’d like to ask you to think of one action
like to ask you to think of one action
like to ask you to think of one action you could take to bridge the gap between
you could take to bridge the gap between
you could take to bridge the gap between you and your them try to make it
you and your them try to make it
you and your them try to make it specific something actionable something
specific something actionable something
specific something actionable something you could do in the next week all right
you could do in the next week all right
you could do in the next week all right okay here comes the hard part
okay here comes the hard part
okay here comes the hard part I’m warning you because thinking of
I’m warning you because thinking of
I’m warning you because thinking of doing something and then actually doing
doing something and then actually doing
doing something and then actually doing it are very different in a moment I’m
it are very different in a moment I’m
it are very different in a moment I’m going to ask you to practice taking
going to ask you to practice taking
going to ask you to practice taking action by turning to the person next to
action by turning to the person next to
action by turning to the person next to you and saying out loud what your action
you and saying out loud what your action
you and saying out loud what your action is you don’t have to say who your them
is you don’t have to say who your them
is you don’t have to say who your them is all you need to do is say out loud
is all you need to do is say out loud
is all you need to do is say out loud what your action is okay are you ready
what your action is okay are you ready
what your action is okay are you ready get set go
thank you everyone for sharing I want to
thank you everyone for sharing I want to tell you that your sharing is more than
tell you that your sharing is more than
tell you that your sharing is more than I anticipated it’s so encouraging to
I anticipated it’s so encouraging to
I anticipated it’s so encouraging to watch you share like that it’s so clear
watch you share like that it’s so clear
watch you share like that it’s so clear to me that you have ideas and these
to me that you have ideas and these
to me that you have ideas and these ideas are so important when we make
ideas are so important when we make
ideas are so important when we make small gestures to bridge a gap with
small gestures to bridge a gap with
small gestures to bridge a gap with someone who might seem different it
someone who might seem different it
someone who might seem different it becomes so clear that as humans there is
becomes so clear that as humans there is
becomes so clear that as humans there is no us and there is no them it’s only we
mina-san ohayo-gozaimasu juice Tequesta create a home Tony arigato gozaimashita
my name is Laura Crisco and I was born
my name is Laura Crisco and I was born in Japan I grew up here in the United
in Japan I grew up here in the United
in Japan I grew up here in the United States but right after college I
States but right after college I
States but right after college I returned to Japan to work for Honda
returned to Japan to work for Honda
returned to Japan to work for Honda Motor Company I was the only American
Motor Company I was the only American
Motor Company I was the only American woman working with thousands and
woman working with thousands and
woman working with thousands and thousands of Japanese colleagues and I
thousands of Japanese colleagues and I
thousands of Japanese colleagues and I really wanted to fit in
really wanted to fit in
really wanted to fit in I even wore a company required women’s
I even wore a company required women’s
I even wore a company required women’s only uniform
only uniform
only uniform it was a blue polyester vest and skirt
hmm
hmm unattractive but even wearing the
unattractive but even wearing the
unattractive but even wearing the uniform I felt different the way I spoke
uniform I felt different the way I spoke
uniform I felt different the way I spoke Japanese sounded different the way I
Japanese sounded different the way I
Japanese sounded different the way I looked was different people were very
looked was different people were very
looked was different people were very friendly but I felt watched there was a
friendly but I felt watched there was a
friendly but I felt watched there was a distinct us-and-them dynamic and I was
distinct us-and-them dynamic and I was
distinct us-and-them dynamic and I was definitely of them how many of you have
definitely of them how many of you have
definitely of them how many of you have felt like of them maybe it was in the
felt like of them maybe it was in the
felt like of them maybe it was in the school lunchroom where other kids made
school lunchroom where other kids made
school lunchroom where other kids made fun of your food gross or in a classroom
fun of your food gross or in a classroom
fun of your food gross or in a classroom where others didn’t share your viewpoint
where others didn’t share your viewpoint
where others didn’t share your viewpoint or maybe you felt like them because of
or maybe you felt like them because of
or maybe you felt like them because of the way you looked or maybe it had
the way you looked or maybe it had
the way you looked or maybe it had nothing to do with your appearance and
nothing to do with your appearance and
nothing to do with your appearance and everything to do with the fact that you
everything to do with the fact that you
everything to do with the fact that you were the new kid the us-versus-them
were the new kid the us-versus-them
were the new kid the us-versus-them dynamic can be harmless Yankee’s mats
dynamic can be harmless Yankee’s mats
dynamic can be harmless Yankee’s mats but it can also be harmful causing
but it can also be harmful causing
but it can also be harmful causing people to feel unwelcome or even unsafe
people to feel unwelcome or even unsafe
people to feel unwelcome or even unsafe for some of us feeling like a them is a
for some of us feeling like a them is a
for some of us feeling like a them is a temporary passing situation but for many
temporary passing situation but for many
temporary passing situation but for many people in the United States
people in the United States
people in the United States feeling like a them is a way of life
culture gaps are inevitable because we
culture gaps are inevitable because we grow up differently we have different
grow up differently we have different
grow up differently we have different languages different norms of behavior
languages different norms of behavior
languages different norms of behavior some people shake hands when they meet
some people shake hands when they meet
some people shake hands when they meet others bow some people kiss three times
others bow some people kiss three times
others bow some people kiss three times on the cheek when I talk about culture
on the cheek when I talk about culture
on the cheek when I talk about culture gaps I’m talking about gaps caused by a
gaps I’m talking about gaps caused by a
gaps I’m talking about gaps caused by a wide range of factors that make up any
wide range of factors that make up any
wide range of factors that make up any person’s identity some of these factors
person’s identity some of these factors
person’s identity some of these factors are visible it could be things like your
are visible it could be things like your
are visible it could be things like your age or your race and some factors are
age or your race and some factors are
age or your race and some factors are invisible it could be things like the
invisible it could be things like the
invisible it could be things like the languages you speak or your life
languages you speak or your life
languages you speak or your life experiences for 30 years I’ve been
experiences for 30 years I’ve been
experiences for 30 years I’ve been helping people bridge culture gaps
helping people bridge culture gaps
helping people bridge culture gaps around the world and I have seen the
around the world and I have seen the
around the world and I have seen the harmful impact of the us-versus-them
harmful impact of the us-versus-them
harmful impact of the us-versus-them dynamic causing misunderstandings or
dynamic causing misunderstandings or
dynamic causing misunderstandings or hurt feelings sometimes the negative
hurt feelings sometimes the negative
hurt feelings sometimes the negative impact is even bigger resulting in
impact is even bigger resulting in
impact is even bigger resulting in costly business and legal problems but
costly business and legal problems but
costly business and legal problems but I’ve also seen situations where
I’ve also seen situations where
I’ve also seen situations where individuals find ways to successfully
individuals find ways to successfully
individuals find ways to successfully bridge culture gaps and this this
bridge culture gaps and this this
bridge culture gaps and this this results in stronger relationships better
results in stronger relationships better
results in stronger relationships better working environments and improved
working environments and improved
working environments and improved business I’d like to tell you about one
business I’d like to tell you about one
business I’d like to tell you about one small subsidiary in New Jersey where the
small subsidiary in New Jersey where the
small subsidiary in New Jersey where the gap between Americans and Japanese had
gap between Americans and Japanese had
gap between Americans and Japanese had grown so divisive that people didn’t
grown so divisive that people didn’t
grown so divisive that people didn’t even greet each other in the morning
even greet each other in the morning
even greet each other in the morning over the years this gap had hardened
over the years this gap had hardened
over the years this gap had hardened into a palpable divide and you could see
into a palpable divide and you could see
into a palpable divide and you could see it if you walked into the cafeteria you
it if you walked into the cafeteria you
it if you walked into the cafeteria you saw people seated and segregated by
saw people seated and segregated by
saw people seated and segregated by nationality employees wrote separate
nationality employees wrote separate
nationality employees wrote separate reports they had separate meetings and
reports they had separate meetings and
reports they had separate meetings and this of course wasted time it failed to
this of course wasted time it failed to
this of course wasted time it failed to leverage their common goals even though
leverage their common goals even though
leverage their common goals even though there are fewer than 50 people in this
there are fewer than 50 people in this
there are fewer than 50 people in this one
one
one small office there were some who didn’t
small office there were some who didn’t
small office there were some who didn’t know each other’s names but inside this
know each other’s names but inside this
know each other’s names but inside this divided community was one American woman
divided community was one American woman
divided community was one American woman who knew all of her Japanese colleagues
who knew all of her Japanese colleagues
who knew all of her Japanese colleagues and she liked them
and she liked them
and she liked them she knew their first and last names if
she knew their first and last names if
she knew their first and last names if they passed in the hall she would greet
they passed in the hall she would greet
they passed in the hall she would greet them and unlike many of her American
them and unlike many of her American
them and unlike many of her American colleagues if she had a problem at work
colleagues if she had a problem at work
colleagues if she had a problem at work she would go directly to a Japanese
she would go directly to a Japanese
she would go directly to a Japanese colleague for help do you want to know
colleague for help do you want to know
colleague for help do you want to know her secret she smoked just like all of
her secret she smoked just like all of
her secret she smoked just like all of the Japanese colleagues yeah so every
the Japanese colleagues yeah so every
the Japanese colleagues yeah so every day several times a day she would go
day several times a day she would go
day several times a day she would go into this small cloudy room for a
into this small cloudy room for a
into this small cloudy room for a nicotine fix and she would chitchat with
nicotine fix and she would chitchat with
nicotine fix and she would chitchat with her Japanese colleagues and she got to
her Japanese colleagues and she got to
her Japanese colleagues and she got to know them both their visible and
know them both their visible and
know them both their visible and invisible factors and over time these
invisible factors and over time these
invisible factors and over time these frequent interactions formed the basis
frequent interactions formed the basis
frequent interactions formed the basis of a relationship that fundamentally
of a relationship that fundamentally
of a relationship that fundamentally disrupted the us-versus-them dynamic
disrupted the us-versus-them dynamic
disrupted the us-versus-them dynamic that had infected the rest of the office
that had infected the rest of the office
that had infected the rest of the office so I feel like I need to make something
so I feel like I need to make something
so I feel like I need to make something clear I’m not suggesting that you guys
clear I’m not suggesting that you guys
clear I’m not suggesting that you guys start smoking right okay or vaping
start smoking right okay or vaping
start smoking right okay or vaping mm-hmm but I do want to suggest that
mm-hmm but I do want to suggest that
mm-hmm but I do want to suggest that each of us every day make choices that
each of us every day make choices that
each of us every day make choices that either perpetuate or limit the
either perpetuate or limit the
either perpetuate or limit the us-versus-them dynamic we choose whether
us-versus-them dynamic we choose whether
us-versus-them dynamic we choose whether to say hello to someone or not we choose
to say hello to someone or not we choose
to say hello to someone or not we choose where to sit in a big room like this we
where to sit in a big room like this we
where to sit in a big room like this we choose to make the effort to learn to
choose to make the effort to learn to
choose to make the effort to learn to say someone’s name correctly or we
say someone’s name correctly or we
say someone’s name correctly or we choose to have lunch by ourselves or see
choose to have lunch by ourselves or see
choose to have lunch by ourselves or see it as an opportunity to connect with
it as an opportunity to connect with
it as an opportunity to connect with others the only way to bridge culture
others the only way to bridge culture
others the only way to bridge culture gaps is through face-to-face
gaps is through face-to-face
gaps is through face-to-face interactions of increasing depth
interactions of increasing depth
interactions of increasing depth and these face-to-face interactions
and these face-to-face interactions
and these face-to-face interactions start with a single gesture one American
start with a single gesture one American
start with a single gesture one American woman I know fundamentally changed the
woman I know fundamentally changed the
woman I know fundamentally changed the culture of her company with a $10 box of
culture of her company with a $10 box of
culture of her company with a $10 box of donuts she was in a brand-new job in a
donuts she was in a brand-new job in a
donuts she was in a brand-new job in a huge Japanese company right here in New
huge Japanese company right here in New
huge Japanese company right here in New York and in her department there were
York and in her department there were
York and in her department there were Japanese speakers and English speakers
Japanese speakers and English speakers
Japanese speakers and English speakers these two groups were divided by work
these two groups were divided by work
these two groups were divided by work responsibilities and they were also
responsibilities and they were also
responsibilities and they were also divided by where they sat in the office
divided by where they sat in the office
divided by where they sat in the office Japanese colleagues sat on one side
Japanese colleagues sat on one side
Japanese colleagues sat on one side English colleagues on the other and over
English colleagues on the other and over
English colleagues on the other and over time this divide had kind of taken root
time this divide had kind of taken root
time this divide had kind of taken root and there was basically an unspoken rule
and there was basically an unspoken rule
and there was basically an unspoken rule that everybody just stuck to their own
that everybody just stuck to their own
that everybody just stuck to their own side of the office so while there was no
side of the office so while there was no
side of the office so while there was no physical barrier there may have well
physical barrier there may have well
physical barrier there may have well have been a 10-foot brick wall so it’s a
have been a 10-foot brick wall so it’s a
have been a 10-foot brick wall so it’s a Friday of this woman’s first week of
Friday of this woman’s first week of
Friday of this woman’s first week of work and she thinks I’m gonna get
work and she thinks I’m gonna get
work and she thinks I’m gonna get doughnuts to share with my brand-new
doughnuts to share with my brand-new
doughnuts to share with my brand-new colleagues
colleagues
colleagues nice right so she’s sharing the
nice right so she’s sharing the
nice right so she’s sharing the doughnuts with the English speaking
doughnuts with the English speaking
doughnuts with the English speaking colleagues and then she makes a choice
colleagues and then she makes a choice
colleagues and then she makes a choice that no one in the company has ever made
that no one in the company has ever made
that no one in the company has ever made and she makes this choice because she’s
and she makes this choice because she’s
and she makes this choice because she’s new she hasn’t had a chance to learn all
new she hasn’t had a chance to learn all
new she hasn’t had a chance to learn all the rules spoken or unspoken so she
the rules spoken or unspoken so she
the rules spoken or unspoken so she takes a doughnuts over to the Japanese
takes a doughnuts over to the Japanese
takes a doughnuts over to the Japanese side and offers one to a colleague and
side and offers one to a colleague and
side and offers one to a colleague and the Japanese woman is kind of like wow
the Japanese woman is kind of like wow
the Japanese woman is kind of like wow surprised but she takes the doughnut and
surprised but she takes the doughnut and
surprised but she takes the doughnut and says thank you the next week the
says thank you the next week the
says thank you the next week the Japanese woman has some rice crackers
Japanese woman has some rice crackers
Japanese woman has some rice crackers and she crosses over this invisible
and she crosses over this invisible
and she crosses over this invisible barrier and offers these to the
barrier and offers these to the
barrier and offers these to the english-speaking colleagues and within
english-speaking colleagues and within
english-speaking colleagues and within days they are calling each other by name
days they are calling each other by name
days they are calling each other by name and sharing cell phone chargers
and then these two women start to get to
and then these two women start to get to know each other they’re curious about
know each other they’re curious about
know each other they’re curious about each other’s cultures and languages and
each other’s cultures and languages and
each other’s cultures and languages and so they decide to start a word of the
so they decide to start a word of the
so they decide to start a word of the day email exchange one day there’s a
day email exchange one day there’s a
day email exchange one day there’s a word in English the next day the words
word in English the next day the words
word in English the next day the words in Japanese and they share this back and
in Japanese and they share this back and
in Japanese and they share this back and forth and other people hear about it and
forth and other people hear about it and
forth and other people hear about it and they want to be included and so this
they want to be included and so this
they want to be included and so this group becomes bigger and bigger and
group becomes bigger and bigger and
group becomes bigger and bigger and grows so popular that the company
grows so popular that the company
grows so popular that the company decides to start offering language
decides to start offering language
decides to start offering language lessons to anyone who wants to learn and
lessons to anyone who wants to learn and
lessons to anyone who wants to learn and these classes now have gotten so popular
these classes now have gotten so popular
these classes now have gotten so popular that as soon as the company lists a new
that as soon as the company lists a new
that as soon as the company lists a new class being offered registration fills
class being offered registration fills
class being offered registration fills up in ten minutes
up in ten minutes
up in ten minutes the us-versus-them culture in this
the us-versus-them culture in this
the us-versus-them culture in this company is being bridged by small
company is being bridged by small
company is being bridged by small gestures every day like hundreds of
gestures every day like hundreds of
gestures every day like hundreds of employees each time they use a word in
employees each time they use a word in
employees each time they use a word in the other language this is how we
the other language this is how we
the other language this is how we disrupt the us-versus-them dynamic and
disrupt the us-versus-them dynamic and
disrupt the us-versus-them dynamic and it all starts with a box of donuts or
it all starts with a box of donuts or
it all starts with a box of donuts or simply saying hello when I was 22 and
simply saying hello when I was 22 and
simply saying hello when I was 22 and working for Honda and Japan I felt like
working for Honda and Japan I felt like
working for Honda and Japan I felt like of them every day I tried to bridge the
of them every day I tried to bridge the
of them every day I tried to bridge the gap I had tea breaks with the other
gap I had tea breaks with the other
gap I had tea breaks with the other women we’d have lunch but my
women we’d have lunch but my
women we’d have lunch but my breakthrough event was hosting a
breakthrough event was hosting a
breakthrough event was hosting a Halloween party for my coworkers
after this event I developed a much
after this event I developed a much closer relationship with two of the
closer relationship with two of the
closer relationship with two of the women in particular we started spending
women in particular we started spending
women in particular we started spending time together on weekends we took trips
time together on weekends we took trips
time together on weekends we took trips together and because of these two
together and because of these two
together and because of these two relationships I started to feel much
relationships I started to feel much
relationships I started to feel much less like a them and more like a we and
less like a them and more like a we and
less like a them and more like a we and feeling like we made my daily work life
feeling like we made my daily work life
feeling like we made my daily work life much more enjoyable but being a we
much more enjoyable but being a we
much more enjoyable but being a we contributed to one of the greatest
contributed to one of the greatest
contributed to one of the greatest achievements of my professional life
remember that
remember that women’s only uniform but it was a
women’s only uniform but it was a
women’s only uniform but it was a company rule I assumed that the Japanese
company rule I assumed that the Japanese
company rule I assumed that the Japanese women did like it but through my two
women did like it but through my two
women did like it but through my two friends I learned something and then I
friends I learned something and then I
friends I learned something and then I learned that most of the women in the
learned that most of the women in the
learned that most of the women in the company so I decided to try to abolish
company so I decided to try to abolish
company so I decided to try to abolish women’s uniform I know I did I recruited
women’s uniform I know I did I recruited
women’s uniform I know I did I recruited a diverse group of people we had
a diverse group of people we had
a diverse group of people we had Japanese women there was one French guy
Japanese women there was one French guy
Japanese women there was one French guy an American man but there was no us and
an American man but there was no us and
an American man but there was no us and them in our group we were in complete
them in our group we were in complete
them in our group we were in complete agreement that that uniform had to go
agreement that that uniform had to go
agreement that that uniform had to go and finally after a lot of work we did
and finally after a lot of work we did
and finally after a lot of work we did it we changed corporate policy that has
it we changed corporate policy that has
it we changed corporate policy that has now been in effect for 30 years
now been in effect for 30 years
now been in effect for 30 years positively impacting the lives of
positively impacting the lives of
positively impacting the lives of thousands of female employees and it
thousands of female employees and it
thousands of female employees and it saved the company some money you’re
saved the company some money you’re
saved the company some money you’re welcome Honda and this is how a
welcome Honda and this is how a
welcome Honda and this is how a Halloween party led to vastly improved
Halloween party led to vastly improved
Halloween party led to vastly improved corporate change small gestures are the
corporate change small gestures are the
corporate change small gestures are the starting point for bridging any culture
starting point for bridging any culture
starting point for bridging any culture gap and I’m not talking about gaps only
gap and I’m not talking about gaps only
gap and I’m not talking about gaps only related to business or only related to
related to business or only related to
related to business or only related to people from different countries you
people from different countries you
people from different countries you never know where your small just
never know where your small just
never know where your small just might lead you might make someone feel
might lead you might make someone feel
might lead you might make someone feel welcome
welcome
welcome you might make someone feel safe you
you might make someone feel safe you
you might make someone feel safe you might trigger a series of actions that
might trigger a series of actions that
might trigger a series of actions that fundamentally changes the way people
fundamentally changes the way people
fundamentally changes the way people think you might change laws I get so
think you might change laws I get so
think you might change laws I get so excited thinking about the positive
excited thinking about the positive
excited thinking about the positive impact that small gestures can make
impact that small gestures can make
impact that small gestures can make imagine the us-versus-them gaps we could
imagine the us-versus-them gaps we could
imagine the us-versus-them gaps we could close the hurt feelings we could heal
close the hurt feelings we could heal
close the hurt feelings we could heal the misunderstandings and dangerous
the misunderstandings and dangerous
the misunderstandings and dangerous actions that could be avoided if
actions that could be avoided if
actions that could be avoided if everyone in this room picked them and
everyone in this room picked them and
everyone in this room picked them and committed to taking one action what if
committed to taking one action what if
committed to taking one action what if everyone whoever watches this took one
everyone whoever watches this took one
everyone whoever watches this took one action sure some of those actions will
action sure some of those actions will
action sure some of those actions will remain singular but some of those
remain singular but some of those
remain singular but some of those actions will grow into meaningful change
actions will grow into meaningful change
actions will grow into meaningful change it’s true I know I did it I believed so
it’s true I know I did it I believed so
it’s true I know I did it I believed so much in the power of small gestures I am
much in the power of small gestures I am
much in the power of small gestures I am going to challenge all of you right now
everyone has them most of us have many
everyone has them most of us have many thumbs so right now I’d like to ask
thumbs so right now I’d like to ask
thumbs so right now I’d like to ask everyone to think of them maybe it’s one
everyone to think of them maybe it’s one
everyone to think of them maybe it’s one person maybe it’s a whole group of
person maybe it’s a whole group of
person maybe it’s a whole group of people but just pick one okay now I’d
people but just pick one okay now I’d
people but just pick one okay now I’d like to ask you to think of one action
like to ask you to think of one action
like to ask you to think of one action you could take to bridge the gap between
you could take to bridge the gap between
you could take to bridge the gap between you and your them try to make it
you and your them try to make it
you and your them try to make it specific something actionable something
specific something actionable something
specific something actionable something you could do in the next week all right
you could do in the next week all right
you could do in the next week all right okay here comes the hard part
okay here comes the hard part
okay here comes the hard part I’m warning you because thinking of
I’m warning you because thinking of
I’m warning you because thinking of doing something and then actually doing
doing something and then actually doing
doing something and then actually doing it are very different in a moment I’m
it are very different in a moment I’m
it are very different in a moment I’m going to ask you to practice taking
going to ask you to practice taking
going to ask you to practice taking action by turning to the person next to
action by turning to the person next to
action by turning to the person next to you and saying out loud what your action
you and saying out loud what your action
you and saying out loud what your action is you don’t have to say who your them
is you don’t have to say who your them
is you don’t have to say who your them is all you need to do is say out loud
is all you need to do is say out loud
is all you need to do is say out loud what your action is okay are you ready
what your action is okay are you ready
what your action is okay are you ready get set go
thank you everyone for sharing I want to
thank you everyone for sharing I want to tell you that your sharing is more than
tell you that your sharing is more than
tell you that your sharing is more than I anticipated it’s so encouraging to
I anticipated it’s so encouraging to
I anticipated it’s so encouraging to watch you share like that it’s so clear
watch you share like that it’s so clear
watch you share like that it’s so clear to me that you have ideas and these
to me that you have ideas and these
to me that you have ideas and these ideas are so important when we make
ideas are so important when we make
ideas are so important when we make small gestures to bridge a gap with
small gestures to bridge a gap with
small gestures to bridge a gap with someone who might seem different it
someone who might seem different it
someone who might seem different it becomes so clear that as humans there is
becomes so clear that as humans there is
becomes so clear that as humans there is no us and there is no them it’s only we
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