to tell anyone my story for years I’ve
been hiding the dark too scared to stand
up for myself but I’ve come to the
realization that no one’s opinion
matters this is my story and it needs to
be told
I find myself constantly waiting from
the navigable judgement over my life
I’ve been judged in the past for every
single thing I did no matter how minor
and that’s just where my story begins
for as long as I can remember I’ve been
buoyed all through elementary school I
endured verbal and physical bullying
being called crazy and worthless
eventually degrades who you are teachers
and students both treated me like I was
worthless they treat me like garbage for
no reason I remember one time in
elementary school when some of my class
stole my pencil sharpener I went to go
take it back and was accused of stealing
it myself the crazy part is that my
initials were written on this pencil
sharpener and I got suspended for taking
it back my teachers labelled me as a
troublemaker for things I never did
I got into trouble almost every day for
such minor things eventually I got sick
of it and I moved schools teachers
always told you strategies to overcome
bullying but these strategies often have
opposite effects every time I tried to
ignore what people were saying about me
they just said it louder or made things
physical every time I stood up for
someone else being bullied I was labeled
as a tattletale all of this eventually
got to me I gave up on defending myself
and became silent people still believed
me sometimes I thought it was because I
was too shy or quiet other times I
thought it was about the way I dressed I
listened to all of the whispers and
rumors about me I took it all in and
eventually started believing some flies
myself I believed I was hopeless and
worthless I took these insults and I
believed them eventually all of this
took a toll on me I developed anxiety I
hated going to school and every time I
heard someone whispering I instantly
believed it was about me I believed the
world was against me but I was too
scared to do anything about it
looking back on
it’s hard to find a single moment when
this all started it’s hard to remember
the exact day I decided to give up and
isolate myself from society I used to
fight what people said about me
but now all I can do is sit here and
take it I lay in bed every night unable
to fall asleep because it hurts when you
finally realized that you don’t deserve
this
a few years ago I was at my lowest point
I started self-harming at the time I
felt Mom I fell into depression I still
don’t know what’s worse believing the
lies people told me or going completely
numb and not caring anymore
recently I realized how destructive this
tab it has become I realize how it ended
up taking over my life I knew I needed
to stop I reached up for support from
friends and family I look at how far
I’ve come in these past few years I feel
stunned looking at how ridiculous I was
I feel stupid that thinking taking my
own life could have solved everything
I’m still getting used to trusting
people and ignoring the rumors I still
struggle and I do have bad days the one
thing lives overall helps me was
speaking up expressing myself has saved
me I found ways to feel something
without wanting to harm myself
now instead of self harming I’ll write
home after poem about everything that’s
wrong in my world there’s still days
when I feel down but finding people who
I can trust had brought me so much hope
I finally found people who let me be
myself all this has finally helped me
see the good in life and appreciate the
beauty in everyday things this feeling
they can save someone who’s felt so low
for so long despite how immense the hope
has become there are still times when I
feel down I still get bullied I still
suffer from anxiety and there are times
when I fall back into depression there
are a few people in this world who I can
open up to a lot of people make speaking
up difficult with stigma majority of
people have negative thoughts whenever
they hear someone suffers from anxiety
or depression that’s why it took me so
long to speak up about it I have for the
most part stopped paying attention to
stigma I’ve read the people I know will
give me issues and keep my story vague
when telling it to anyone I’m unsure
about this is why it’s so important for
people who speak up about their problems
adding your problems just degrades who
you are makes living life to the fullest
nearly impossible I feel ashamed that
my prop for hiding my problems so long I
feel shame that telling my story is so
difficult Society has made it’s so hard
to stand up for yourselves
there were Manta sizing scars but in
reality scars are not pretty
self-harm is not a joke people need to
stand up for themselves take
responsibility for what they’ve done
overall speak up about their problems no
matter how hard it gets nothing’s
impossible I’m not telling my story to
benefit myself I’m telling it for the
victims of bullying I want them to know
that no matter how hard things get there
will always be some form of positivity
I’m telling my story for all the bullies
so just maybe they’ll realize that their
actions do have consequences I’m telling
it for every single person who feels
like they don’t belong I’m telling my
story because I need every single one of
you to know this stigma needs to stop we
need to allow people to reach out for
support but most importantly we need to
not drag people down in the first place
as I said earlier I wrote poems to
express how I feel I’m going to read you
a poem I wrote that is called I once
knew a girl I once knew a girl her heart
was bold but her hands were shaking and
cold I once knew a girl with beautiful
dreams but she was tearing at her seams
I once knew a girl who hated dress up
pearls but she was a masquerade she
started to hurl I once knew a girl who’s
so broken inside she wanted to die I
once knew a girl who tried to take her
life all because she wasn’t liked I once
knew a girl who never felt alive who
always told the same old lies I’m fine I
once knew a girl who tore herself apart
just to be the latest work of art I want
snow girl who thought it was all about
the show but she didn’t know it’s not
about the show it’s not about the scars
about the millions of broken hearts not
knowing who they are it’s about the
broken dreams and how they used to clean
before believing what’s on TV it’s about
how far you’ve come how far you go you
don’t need to be a beauty queen or act
like all the other teens you don’t need
to dye your hair wear high heels or even
care you don’t need to fit in with the
crowd or follow their vows because it’s
not about the show it’s not about the
way you dress and I know they’re trying
to stress that it’s all about the show
but that’s not the way to go it’s about
your beliefs
and who you want to be it’s about
reality actuality vanity doesn’t define
you if only she knew thank you
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause] [Music]