was about three or four years old it was
nighttime I was in bed and I couldn’t
sleep I laid there unmoving staring at
the ceiling and the reason that I
couldn’t sleep was because I was filled
with an overwhelming sense of anxiety
and fear you see I was absolutely
convinced that a lion was going to jump
through my window and attack me now
there’s no basis for this fear I was in
Ontario where we don’t have lions and
even if the Lions somehow managed to
make its way into my backyard I was on
the second floor of a house with a
closed window but even being reassured
about the impossibility of it happening
I was still filled with fear this was
the first time that I remember having
these feelings but unfortunately it
wasn’t the last over the years I’ve had
many moments of this almost paralyzing
fear where I can’t sleep where I can’t
eat where I constantly feel sick to my
stomach where it takes all of my energy
to just get up and most annoyingly where
I can’t stop the neverending thoughts
going through my head that tell me
something terrible is about to happen
when I first heard the quote by Mark
Twain that says I’ve been through some
terrible things in my life some of which
actually happened I thought to myself
that is exactly what anxiety is like
because I have been through many
terrible things in my life but I have
only experienced them in
mind most of those things that I thought
about incessantly that filled me with so
much fear never actually happened it
wasn’t until 15 years ago more than 20
years after my first experiences with
anxiety that I was finally diagnosed and
given a name and help for what I had
which was generalized anxiety disorder
and things slowly started to improve but
I still felt very much alone you see
when I was growing up and when I was
first diagnosed no one really knew
anything about mental illness it wasn’t
a lot of education about mental illness
it’s not like today where there’s
workshops in schools and there’s
resources handed out and it seems like
everybody has been educated on signs of
mental illness and how to support people
but I didn’t have any of that I didn’t
really have anything my parents my
family they just called me a worrier and
they would say stop worrying which of
course it’s impossible for somebody with
anxiety or I would hear things like it’s
all in your head which means they didn’t
actually think that what you have is a
real problem however I made it through
this time scarred but not broken
managing but not healed and several
years ago I started wondering how did I
get through this time what helped me to
cope when I had so many days weeks and
even months of almost paralyzing fear
how did I get through this and I
realized that there actually was
something that helped me get through
this something that I relied on year
after year and that something was
reading now as many memory says I have
of anxious times in my life I have
equal amount of memories of reading
books I can remember being a little girl
sitting with a big pile of books
desperately trying to figure out what
the words on the pages were asking my
parents please teach me how to read and
once I could read I took a book with me
everywhere I went I always had a book
with me and I realized that reading
actually helped me to cope with my
feelings of anxiety because reading
helped me take my mind off of whatever
was worrying me at the time and this
isn’t actually even a new concept the
idea that reading can heal has been
around for a long time I started
researching it a couple of years ago and
I found I’m not the only person this has
helped I’m not the only person that
reading has helped with dealing with a
mental illness it’s been around for
centuries over doorways to ancient
libraries they have found inscriptions
that read that the library is healing to
the soul and that’s from 2,000 years ago
William Shakespeare wrote come and take
choice of all my library and so beguile
thy sorrow meaning that reading would
lead you away from your sorrows so
reading as healing has been around for a
long time today counsellors use what
they call bibliotherapy and what
bibliotherapy is is the reading of
specific texts with the purpose of
healing so counselors can prescribe a
book just like a doctor can prescribe
medication and they have found that when
patients read the book that they
prescribe it actually reduces their
treatment time and then increases their
insight and behavior change a few years
ago a book was published called the
novel cure from abandonment to zest
lessness 751 books to cure what ails you
by Ella Bertha
and Susan elder Kim now this book has
751 ailments you figure out what your
ailment is once you do it will lead you
to a book to read to help relieve you of
the symptoms of that those ailment some
of these the ailments they list are
serious ones some not so serious like
hating being short hating your nose or
suffering from itchy teeth and once you
know what what your Inlet is they’ll
tell you to read a book that will help
you so for those of you who are
suffering from a broken heart they
recommend that you read Charlotte
brontë’s Jane Eyre for those of you who
hate your nose they recommend reading
perfume the story of a murderer and if
you have anxiety like I do then they
recommend that you read Henry James the
portrait of a lady the idea is that
whatever your ailment is you can help
relieve symptoms of those ailments by
reading now I found it doesn’t have to
be a specific book reading any book will
do and there are many reasons for this
firstly when we read we are able to
enter into a new world and forget about
our own for a while we become new people
we see different times different places
and we experience different things we
can read the Harry Potter series and
enter into the magical world of Hogwarts
and witches and wizards and Quidditch
and we leave our own muddled existence
behind or we can go with Katniss and
Peeta into the arena and fight against
the Capitol and the corrupt President
Snow in The Hunger Games we can meet
Augustus when hazel grace goes to a teen
Cancer Support Group we can laugh cry as
hazel and Gus fall in love all while
battling the effects
cancer in The Fault in Our Stars when we
read books we are able to get out of our
own minds for a while and that can be a
huge relief and sometimes sometimes when
we go back into our thoughts we find
that our symptoms have lessened slightly
another way that reading can help those
of us who suffer from a mental illness
is that it can show us that we are not
alone and that is something that many
people with a mental illness feel we
feel that there’s no one to understand
us no one who’s going through the exact
same things we are we feel alone but
when we read the other characters people
who are going through the same things we
are and it’s right there on the page in
front of us and we just go oh that’s it
that’s exactly how I feel and we feel
better when we read about Alaska in
looking for Alaska who has depression or
Audrey in finding Audrey who has social
anxiety disorder or Adam in the unlikely
hero in room 13 B who has depression
they show us that we are not alone and
that also can be a huge relief to know
that there are others think like we do
act like we do and feel like we do
another benefit of reading is that it
lowers our stress levels and when we’re
anxious even when we’re anxious like
over everyday things like a test we have
coming up for an essay we have to write
that causes tension in our muscles and
it strains our heart but when we read it
relaxes those muscles and it releases
the tension and we don’t even have to
read for long periods of time to get
this effect
studies show that after just six minutes
of reading our stress levels lower and
they can lower by up to 68%
of old the stress relievers study from
going for a walk to listening to music
reading relief stress the most now I am
NOT trying to say that reading alone can
cure any ailment especially ones as
serious as depression and anxiety but
what I do know is that reading can help
us deal with those symptoms reading
takes us out of our own mind for a while
it gives us relief reading shows us that
we are not alone that there are other
people just like us
reading comforts us reading relaxes us
reading gives us peace now when I’m
feeling anxious especially when I’m
feeling anxious at night and I can’t
sleep I open a book it might take me a
few minutes to be able to focus on the
words on the page but I keep reading and
sometimes that takes willpower it’s hard
but I keep reading and eventually I am
able to enter into the world in my hands
to feel the release of my worries and
when I finally put that book down to
fall into sleep without fears of lions
jumping through my window thank you
[Applause]
[Music] [Applause]