[Music]
what we perceive and what is to be
reality are two very different things
today you see me standing here at the
age of 26 I’m the CEO and designer of my
namesake clothing line marry young
I also power a movement called the
self-love Club we’re encouraged open and
authentic conversation around body
positivity self love and self care
outside of work I’m very passionate
about the creative community I encourage
women to embrace themselves and to
challenge themselves I also focus on my
health and my fitness activities and
really push myself to the limits this is
what you see but ten years ago if you
were to tell me this was my future I
wouldn’t have believed you ten years ago
this didn’t look like my life this
didn’t seem something I could have when
we look at our lives a lot of moments
will happen that will change everything
for me that day was November 3rd 2007 I
was playing rugby in gym class I grew up
with an older brother so I knew how to
play and jump in there and so I did I
got right in and I ended up taking a few
heavy hits to the head and I got a
concussion it was a grade one concussion
so for those of you no that’s not the
worst concussion you can get on a scale
of concussions it was at the bottom I
didn’t lose consciousness I knew who I
was and I knew where I was these were
all good signs in fact one in five
students will actually get a concussion
in the regular season and 90% of those
concussions you won’t lose your
consciousness and you won’t black out so
I wasn’t rare by any means but what
happened next was rare so I followed my
doctor’s orders I didn’t do anything
extensive for the next three weeks no
gym class no extracurricular activities
and I didn’t use my brain that intensely
no heavy thinking realistically I just
took it easy a but it’s all pretty good
the headaches started to subside the
nausea the dizziness started to fade
away and I started to come back to
myself a little bit and feel more normal
then four weeks after the concussion I
woke up to something I had never
experienced before this was a feeling
that I never knew
I woke up with a migraine I had
headaches before I knew what a headache
was and I knew what that felt like but a
migraine was different this migraine
losted eight months this was eight
months every single day with this pain a
few days into the migraine all of my
symptoms came back with a vengence the
dizziness became severe vertigo that
even when I was sitting down I couldn’t
tell it was up or down everything was
spinning my visual site was actually
affected I would see strobe lights going
off my peripherals everywhere the ground
was constantly shaking moving through
the day became such a challenge that I
couldn’t figure out where I was going
what I was doing and how to even move
through my life next my cognitive skills
were affected I was unable to read and
write the way that I used to so imagine
this at age 16 in grade 11 unable to
read and write a simple question like
what is the date was really hard for me
to understand simple just a few words
something we are asked every single day
for me I would have to break it down a
word by word what what is what is the
what is the date if I was able to even
understand what the sentence was it
could take me up to two or three minutes
to understand it answering the question
was even harder you would see words that
would blend together a word that I
didn’t mean to be there would suddenly
show up and none of it made sense and I
couldn’t understand why this was
happening I didn’t know what was going
on this affected me every single day on
top of that I was struggling with
speaking you know that feeling when you
have a word on the tip of your tongue
and you can feel it you know it and you
just can’t say it
that was me every single day to the
point where I was unable to have proper
conversations this was the new normal
for me as this progressed I started to
see different doctors and it was finally
diagnosed with post concussion syndrome
I believe it or not a lot of people
actually have post concussion syndrome
with around 50% of patients having these
symptoms up to three months after the
concussion and another ten to 15% having
those lasts for over one year
I was the 10 to 15% my symptoms lasted
nearly seven years this wasn’t something
I was prepared for this wasn’t something
that I knew was going to happen as I was
moving through this the first year was
the hardest I was prescribed a lot of
different medication to deal with this
pain the dizziness the nausea everything
that I was feeling I had to have
different medications to control this
first year was a blur for me I don’t
remember most of it I don’t remember who
I was in that year actually when I speak
to my mom about it she’ll often recall
seeing her daughter my body my
personality and everything but something
was missing
I was emotionless my personality was
muted and I was distant
there is one memory I have of that year
when I was 16 standing in front of my
mirror at home looking at myself and
feeling so lost what I saw wasn’t who I
was my physical appearance had changed I
had gained away from the medication so
what I saw wasn’t who I knew and then my
personality wasn’t there I didn’t feel
like myself I didn’t know who I was
anymore so what I looked at myself I
felt two separate things my mind and my
body were separate they didn’t work
together my mind felt extremely betrayed
by my body why was I in this pain I
didn’t want this I don’t want this
confusion this dizziness this nausea I
didn’t want to be 16 and not know who I
was and to be just moving through the
world without any sense of care or any
sense of direction I felt betrayed by
myself this was the biggest challenge
for me to move past that over the next
two years I was able to lower down my
medication and I was able to get down to
one or two different medications a day
at this time my migraines were about 20
to 25 days of a month now that sounds
pretty horrendous imagine 20 days with a
migraine for me this was my new normal
and for me that was progress so when I
was 18 I decided to move to Toronto five
hours away from my hometown really
exciting time going to school getting my
post-secondary education I had a few
friends in the city but I had no family
the biggest struggle was actually to
find a new doctor I was willing to find
any doctor that was willing to try
anything I wanted to try anything to get
rid of this pain to solve what was going
on so I visited numerous different
doctors tried many different techniques
and at the age of 22 I was still
categorized as living in chronic pain
with migraines anywhere from 15 to 25
days of a month this was out while I was
in university working a part-time job
and I had an internship so my doctor had
an idea he explained to me about these
neurons that we all have called
nociceptors neurons what they do is they
actually detect signals of damage or
potential damage and then they let your
your action potential know and it will
actually signal to your brain that
you’re in pain so if you’re playing
soccer and you scrape your knee the air
action potential will allow your brain
to know that you’ve scraped your knee so
therefore you know your knee is bleeding
or it’s hurt sometimes when you’re
playing soccer or your adrenaline will
carry you through and you won’t actually
feel that so you’ll be playing it all
something in the game you realize wow my
knee really hurts that’s because the
adrenaline actually washed away those
potential actions so for me my doctor
said that my body may have been actually
sending these messages of pain when
there was no damage so there was such
strong pain waves my body that they
might have been firing even when nothing
was happening and no damage was being
done so what his approach was was to
stop all those pain waves and how he did
this was he took general anaesthetic a
small amount of freezing it’s a small
needle and he inserted on every
vertebrae down my neck and into my
shoulders an order to freeze any pain I
did this three times the first time I
did it I was so confused after I had it
done that I had to take a cab home I was
stuck in my bed for two days I could
barely move I didn’t understand what was
happening to my body the second time I
knew a little bit more and you what to
expect and by the third time I knew what
was happening but there was no progress
nothing changed
the pain was still there I was just as
dizzy I didn’t understand why it wasn’t
working so this is what I went back to
my doctor and we
down and he said he had a solution he
told me to quit that I should quit
school that I should quit my part-time
job I should quit my internship and I
should focus solely on my recovery and
that should be all of my attention is
getting better so for me when I heard
that that was terrifying I was 23 in my
third year of university I had already
worked so hard to move to Toronto to
pursue my education to have a life to
build my future to have someone to tell
me to quit and stop everything it was
gut-wrenching
so I found myself at a fork in the road
to the right I could do what my doctor
said I could quit I could move home to
my small town where with my mom and
focus on my health and focus on my
recovery but I knew in my gut that if I
were to do that I wouldn’t have the
strength to move back to Toronto that I
already put so much on the line to come
here and pursue my education that I
wouldn’t be able to do that up for a
second time so the other path was to
change my mindset and to flip it these
were my two paths that I had at 23 I had
to decide I chose to change my mindset
when it comes to changing your mindset
I’m sure most of you have heard
different lists you know five steps to
be more positive the way to look at the
world through brighter eyes this isn’t
something that happens overnight I could
admit that but it is something that is
very powerful when I was growing up my
parents always taught us to be thankful
and grateful for the things we had we
would always note the house our family
our friends whatever it was and be very
thankful for that
and so I decided to take that one step
further and I started a thankful journal
for me I would write down anything I was
thankful for whether that was the
smallest thing of watching TV and
enjoying it or laughing with my friends
it didn’t always have to be related to
my physical health but I always wrote
down what I was thankful for God changed
my outlook I stopped looking at the
negative things the things I didn’t have
the things that I was losing out on but
rather the things I did have next I
decided to use some positive self-talk I
noticed the way that we speak to our
friends we’re always encouraging them
we’re building them up we’re supporting
them but then when we speak to ourselves
oftentimes we’re tearing ourselves down
we’re not supporting ourselves we’re not
saying anything positive to ourselves so
I changed that I would stand in front of
the mirror and speak to myself in third
person to encourage myself now this is
very strange trust me if you ever try
this looking at yourself in the mirror
and saying Mary your pain doesn’t define
you
Mary your body offers you more than pain
it felt very strange but it worked I
started to listen and believed what I
was saying my body also started to
listen lastly I looked at what my body
and my mind could do these are our two
most powerful tools that all of us
possess and I decided to use those for
the past seven years I was told not to
workout not to increase my heartrate
and to not jump bounce or move around to
the point that I would actually get a
migraine so what I decided to do was go
to the gym I started working out I
started with the smallest amount of
workouts and trust me I was exhausted
and eventually I started to go back and
I start to feel stronger and my body
started to feel more powerful because I
was using it and because I recognized it
as I was doing these three things my
migraine started to soften they went
from 25 to 20 days a month down to 15 by
the age of 24 I was no longer living in
chronic pain this was the first time in
my life that I had less than 10
migraines a month to the point where now
I have less than one migraine a month
it’s usually every second month so these
three things really shifted my future
these mindset changes were controlling
what I was able to change in my life in
order to move past that fork in the road
I’m sure most of you have faced a fork
in the road or maybe all the odds have
been stacked against you and you felt at
a loss what do you do where do you go
who do you turn to but the thing to
remember is you actually turn to
yourself you look at your mindset what
you’re able to do and you remember these
three things to help
you move past whatever is blocking your
path so take a look at your life look at
what you’re grateful for be thankful for
it we’re all in here today this is an
amazing experience we are all are
pursuing our education something that
not everyone our age gets to do in this
world be very grateful for those things
start speaking to yourself the way you
would speak to your friends encourage
yourself speak to yourself in third
person if that helps but always have
positive self-talk and affirmation and
lastly know that your body and your mind
are your most powerful tools that you
have use those tools remember that they
are yours to use for the your entire
life and they are more powerful than you
can ever imagine at the end of the day
when you’re stuck and you’re trying to
go up hill and you’re trying to push
through and you’re looking to what’s
next remember that your mindset can
truly change your future thank you
[Applause]
what we perceive and what is to be
reality are two very different things
today you see me standing here at the
age of 26 I’m the CEO and designer of my
namesake clothing line marry young
I also power a movement called the
self-love Club we’re encouraged open and
authentic conversation around body
positivity self love and self care
outside of work I’m very passionate
about the creative community I encourage
women to embrace themselves and to
challenge themselves I also focus on my
health and my fitness activities and
really push myself to the limits this is
what you see but ten years ago if you
were to tell me this was my future I
wouldn’t have believed you ten years ago
this didn’t look like my life this
didn’t seem something I could have when
we look at our lives a lot of moments
will happen that will change everything
for me that day was November 3rd 2007 I
was playing rugby in gym class I grew up
with an older brother so I knew how to
play and jump in there and so I did I
got right in and I ended up taking a few
heavy hits to the head and I got a
concussion it was a grade one concussion
so for those of you no that’s not the
worst concussion you can get on a scale
of concussions it was at the bottom I
didn’t lose consciousness I knew who I
was and I knew where I was these were
all good signs in fact one in five
students will actually get a concussion
in the regular season and 90% of those
concussions you won’t lose your
consciousness and you won’t black out so
I wasn’t rare by any means but what
happened next was rare so I followed my
doctor’s orders I didn’t do anything
extensive for the next three weeks no
gym class no extracurricular activities
and I didn’t use my brain that intensely
no heavy thinking realistically I just
took it easy a but it’s all pretty good
the headaches started to subside the
nausea the dizziness started to fade
away and I started to come back to
myself a little bit and feel more normal
then four weeks after the concussion I
woke up to something I had never
experienced before this was a feeling
that I never knew
I woke up with a migraine I had
headaches before I knew what a headache
was and I knew what that felt like but a
migraine was different this migraine
losted eight months this was eight
months every single day with this pain a
few days into the migraine all of my
symptoms came back with a vengence the
dizziness became severe vertigo that
even when I was sitting down I couldn’t
tell it was up or down everything was
spinning my visual site was actually
affected I would see strobe lights going
off my peripherals everywhere the ground
was constantly shaking moving through
the day became such a challenge that I
couldn’t figure out where I was going
what I was doing and how to even move
through my life next my cognitive skills
were affected I was unable to read and
write the way that I used to so imagine
this at age 16 in grade 11 unable to
read and write a simple question like
what is the date was really hard for me
to understand simple just a few words
something we are asked every single day
for me I would have to break it down a
word by word what what is what is the
what is the date if I was able to even
understand what the sentence was it
could take me up to two or three minutes
to understand it answering the question
was even harder you would see words that
would blend together a word that I
didn’t mean to be there would suddenly
show up and none of it made sense and I
couldn’t understand why this was
happening I didn’t know what was going
on this affected me every single day on
top of that I was struggling with
speaking you know that feeling when you
have a word on the tip of your tongue
and you can feel it you know it and you
just can’t say it
that was me every single day to the
point where I was unable to have proper
conversations this was the new normal
for me as this progressed I started to
see different doctors and it was finally
diagnosed with post concussion syndrome
I believe it or not a lot of people
actually have post concussion syndrome
with around 50% of patients having these
symptoms up to three months after the
concussion and another ten to 15% having
those lasts for over one year
I was the 10 to 15% my symptoms lasted
nearly seven years this wasn’t something
I was prepared for this wasn’t something
that I knew was going to happen as I was
moving through this the first year was
the hardest I was prescribed a lot of
different medication to deal with this
pain the dizziness the nausea everything
that I was feeling I had to have
different medications to control this
first year was a blur for me I don’t
remember most of it I don’t remember who
I was in that year actually when I speak
to my mom about it she’ll often recall
seeing her daughter my body my
personality and everything but something
was missing
I was emotionless my personality was
muted and I was distant
there is one memory I have of that year
when I was 16 standing in front of my
mirror at home looking at myself and
feeling so lost what I saw wasn’t who I
was my physical appearance had changed I
had gained away from the medication so
what I saw wasn’t who I knew and then my
personality wasn’t there I didn’t feel
like myself I didn’t know who I was
anymore so what I looked at myself I
felt two separate things my mind and my
body were separate they didn’t work
together my mind felt extremely betrayed
by my body why was I in this pain I
didn’t want this I don’t want this
confusion this dizziness this nausea I
didn’t want to be 16 and not know who I
was and to be just moving through the
world without any sense of care or any
sense of direction I felt betrayed by
myself this was the biggest challenge
for me to move past that over the next
two years I was able to lower down my
medication and I was able to get down to
one or two different medications a day
at this time my migraines were about 20
to 25 days of a month now that sounds
pretty horrendous imagine 20 days with a
migraine for me this was my new normal
and for me that was progress so when I
was 18 I decided to move to Toronto five
hours away from my hometown really
exciting time going to school getting my
post-secondary education I had a few
friends in the city but I had no family
the biggest struggle was actually to
find a new doctor I was willing to find
any doctor that was willing to try
anything I wanted to try anything to get
rid of this pain to solve what was going
on so I visited numerous different
doctors tried many different techniques
and at the age of 22 I was still
categorized as living in chronic pain
with migraines anywhere from 15 to 25
days of a month this was out while I was
in university working a part-time job
and I had an internship so my doctor had
an idea he explained to me about these
neurons that we all have called
nociceptors neurons what they do is they
actually detect signals of damage or
potential damage and then they let your
your action potential know and it will
actually signal to your brain that
you’re in pain so if you’re playing
soccer and you scrape your knee the air
action potential will allow your brain
to know that you’ve scraped your knee so
therefore you know your knee is bleeding
or it’s hurt sometimes when you’re
playing soccer or your adrenaline will
carry you through and you won’t actually
feel that so you’ll be playing it all
something in the game you realize wow my
knee really hurts that’s because the
adrenaline actually washed away those
potential actions so for me my doctor
said that my body may have been actually
sending these messages of pain when
there was no damage so there was such
strong pain waves my body that they
might have been firing even when nothing
was happening and no damage was being
done so what his approach was was to
stop all those pain waves and how he did
this was he took general anaesthetic a
small amount of freezing it’s a small
needle and he inserted on every
vertebrae down my neck and into my
shoulders an order to freeze any pain I
did this three times the first time I
did it I was so confused after I had it
done that I had to take a cab home I was
stuck in my bed for two days I could
barely move I didn’t understand what was
happening to my body the second time I
knew a little bit more and you what to
expect and by the third time I knew what
was happening but there was no progress
nothing changed
the pain was still there I was just as
dizzy I didn’t understand why it wasn’t
working so this is what I went back to
my doctor and we
down and he said he had a solution he
told me to quit that I should quit
school that I should quit my part-time
job I should quit my internship and I
should focus solely on my recovery and
that should be all of my attention is
getting better so for me when I heard
that that was terrifying I was 23 in my
third year of university I had already
worked so hard to move to Toronto to
pursue my education to have a life to
build my future to have someone to tell
me to quit and stop everything it was
gut-wrenching
so I found myself at a fork in the road
to the right I could do what my doctor
said I could quit I could move home to
my small town where with my mom and
focus on my health and focus on my
recovery but I knew in my gut that if I
were to do that I wouldn’t have the
strength to move back to Toronto that I
already put so much on the line to come
here and pursue my education that I
wouldn’t be able to do that up for a
second time so the other path was to
change my mindset and to flip it these
were my two paths that I had at 23 I had
to decide I chose to change my mindset
when it comes to changing your mindset
I’m sure most of you have heard
different lists you know five steps to
be more positive the way to look at the
world through brighter eyes this isn’t
something that happens overnight I could
admit that but it is something that is
very powerful when I was growing up my
parents always taught us to be thankful
and grateful for the things we had we
would always note the house our family
our friends whatever it was and be very
thankful for that
and so I decided to take that one step
further and I started a thankful journal
for me I would write down anything I was
thankful for whether that was the
smallest thing of watching TV and
enjoying it or laughing with my friends
it didn’t always have to be related to
my physical health but I always wrote
down what I was thankful for God changed
my outlook I stopped looking at the
negative things the things I didn’t have
the things that I was losing out on but
rather the things I did have next I
decided to use some positive self-talk I
noticed the way that we speak to our
friends we’re always encouraging them
we’re building them up we’re supporting
them but then when we speak to ourselves
oftentimes we’re tearing ourselves down
we’re not supporting ourselves we’re not
saying anything positive to ourselves so
I changed that I would stand in front of
the mirror and speak to myself in third
person to encourage myself now this is
very strange trust me if you ever try
this looking at yourself in the mirror
and saying Mary your pain doesn’t define
you
Mary your body offers you more than pain
it felt very strange but it worked I
started to listen and believed what I
was saying my body also started to
listen lastly I looked at what my body
and my mind could do these are our two
most powerful tools that all of us
possess and I decided to use those for
the past seven years I was told not to
workout not to increase my heartrate
and to not jump bounce or move around to
the point that I would actually get a
migraine so what I decided to do was go
to the gym I started working out I
started with the smallest amount of
workouts and trust me I was exhausted
and eventually I started to go back and
I start to feel stronger and my body
started to feel more powerful because I
was using it and because I recognized it
as I was doing these three things my
migraine started to soften they went
from 25 to 20 days a month down to 15 by
the age of 24 I was no longer living in
chronic pain this was the first time in
my life that I had less than 10
migraines a month to the point where now
I have less than one migraine a month
it’s usually every second month so these
three things really shifted my future
these mindset changes were controlling
what I was able to change in my life in
order to move past that fork in the road
I’m sure most of you have faced a fork
in the road or maybe all the odds have
been stacked against you and you felt at
a loss what do you do where do you go
who do you turn to but the thing to
remember is you actually turn to
yourself you look at your mindset what
you’re able to do and you remember these
three things to help
you move past whatever is blocking your
path so take a look at your life look at
what you’re grateful for be thankful for
it we’re all in here today this is an
amazing experience we are all are
pursuing our education something that
not everyone our age gets to do in this
world be very grateful for those things
start speaking to yourself the way you
would speak to your friends encourage
yourself speak to yourself in third
person if that helps but always have
positive self-talk and affirmation and
lastly know that your body and your mind
are your most powerful tools that you
have use those tools remember that they
are yours to use for the your entire
life and they are more powerful than you
can ever imagine at the end of the day
when you’re stuck and you’re trying to
go up hill and you’re trying to push
through and you’re looking to what’s
next remember that your mindset can
truly change your future thank you
[Applause]
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