[Music]
okay so when I was about 20 a
twenty-year-old undergraduate student I
lost my home
my husband and I had fallen on financial
hardship because working really hard on
my finals I got pregnant and then I
could not work because of Threatened
miscarriage and then premature labor and
on the day that we were expelled
we waited outside for the council to
decide whether I was indeed homeless
whether I had made myself intentionally
homeless and whether I was deserving of
a home now I want you to picture this
so please imagine that you are standing
outside what used to be your home and
you have the few pieces of furniture
that you own as a 20 year old scattered
on the plain on the pavement and you
have in your arm a small baby who as
predicted was born prematurely
and you are trying to make sure that we
are warm and you are waiting how might
you be feeling what kind of thoughts are
going through your mind well I will tell
you what went through my the phrase
intentionally homeless resonated in my
head
and then I started to wonder I wondered
whether I was to blame I wondered
whether I had in fact not wanted to
carry my baby to term I wondered whether
the skepticism of the council was
warranted and I wondered whether I was
deserving
of her home I was waiting and I was
waiting for someone to take me home but
not only in the physical sense because
home was what I knew and what was real
was home and in this moment I have never
felt so exposed and ashamed and
powerless and vulnerable in my sense of
sanity now as a therapist I have been
doing socio-politically and feminist
inform work primarily with women of
color and I started to recognize glimpse
of my experience in the stories of sir
told racism that women had entrusted me
with and I started to make the
connection of course and it is this
connection that I would like to speak to
you all about today and specifically to
put to you that our capacity to have a
home is dependent on our capacity to
know or conversely that our capacity to
know is dependent on a capacity to have
a home but before I go on to explain I
need to start off with some definitions
so firstly homelessness and I take it to
mean the condition of being without a
permanent dwelling or the experience of
feeling left without safe adequate or
secure housing the second concept we
need to think about is epistemic
injustice and if hysteric is a fantasy
world isn’t it a little bit well where I
come from it is you can say anyway but
actually what it means is things that
are to do with knowing and knowledge and
understanding the world and Myranda
frikar proposes that epistemic injustice
is done to us when we are rolled in our
capacity to know or in our capacity
to contribute to knowledge the final
concept that might be helpful to bear in
mind is that of ontological insecurity
and ontological insecurity refers to
people’s sense of security or insecurity
about their being in the world
it is conceptualized as a sense of
intense anxiety or dread which results
from being unable to give meaning to the
event that opinion a life or when we
struggle with knowing the reality or the
existence of things of others and of the
world so let’s go back to that
connection our capacity to know is
dependent on a capacity to have a home
so let’s think about this we know that
go home and knowing provide a sense of
safety and security in time and in space
we know that both home and knowing
delineate boundaries boundaries between
us and the world
boundaries between the in and out
boundaries between the known and the
unknown and we know that both home and
knowing provide a frame whether
epistemic cognitive or physical and
finally I would suggest that home and
knowing both grandis and anchors but as
not all and that is something else and
something quite significant and I
suggest that it is power because in the
same way that physical homelessness
require power inequality to work as it
is usually people with more social power
we can displace us and then decide
whether we are entitled to the house or
not
stomach homelessness also require power
to operate maybe I’m sure actually I’m
sure that many of us today would have
experienced this in the context of
social oppression some might refer to
such experience as micro aggression so
let’s say maybe you are in the queue and
the white person behind you get served
before you or maybe as a brown or black
body you are complimented on how well
you speak English or indeed French or
perhaps you enter a white space and you
get hit by the gaze and it is said
without being said that you are
trespassing that your body does not
belong and you feel hitting your guns
and you know but as soon as you feel the
violence particularly if you try to name
the violence it is usually denied by
people with more social power and so you
might be told that you have a chip on
your shoulder that you are paranoid and
if you show any sign of distress or
offense or god forbid anger you will be
duly invited to respond more
appropriately and it is at this time
that you may start to doubt yourself
that you’re pissed emic confidence might
get hit that is your confidence in your
capacity to know so you may start to
wonder is it me am I the problem
am i fabricating the problem because in
the world of ceramic when we speak of a
problem will become a problem and then
you might think am I going mad
now all the stories that were shared
with me in therapy had a pistol make
homelessness as a theme whatever were
stories of work contribution being
overlooked or stories of invisible eyes
pain stories of being forced into
stereotypes and stories about struggling
to break free all the stories that I
heard where stories of denial and
invalidation each and every one of the
story that I heard where a story of the
normalization of the sades denial and
invalidation you see because certain
racism cannot be sane easily
particularly by people who do not
experience it it is easily tonight
because again it cannot be seen you
cannot see what you are unwilling to see
and you cannot see what you have been
programmed not to see and not every
phenomenon that are or is inexistent can
be seen but I have seen the distress and
I have seen the subtle oppression and I
have experienced it too but of course
that’s not enough
I am a final year doctoral student and
therefore the importance of evidence and
of having a scientific and querying mind
cannot be overstated and so in my search
for truth I did what all scientists
would do of course I turned to Twitter
and then I ran a few polls and the first
question which was answered by 549
people asked whether people of color
experienced covert racism and overt
racism as equally challenging and the
results suggested that covert racism was
experienced about seven times more
challenging the second question was
answered by 336 people and was asking
about the experience of those who had
spoken out about their experience of
social presence of certain racism in
particular and so I want you to know
what had happened to them result
indicated that 95 percent of people of
color who had spoken about the
experience of Sirte racism had been
either ignored ridiculed or simply
disbelieved living only 5% of those who
had taken the poll saying that they had
been believed or that they had been
treated kindly the last poll was curious
to find out what the impact of this
denial of this epistemic injustice was
on people of color and a wide range of
responses were reported the first one
which was answered by 36% of those who
took the poll was feeling as though one
is losing was mind and the second
question and said by about 32% of those
who took the poll was feeling in pain
and in distress now as I said there was
a wide range of response so some of the
response included feeling anger feeling
rage feeling fury feeling helpless
feeling powerlessness
feeling exhaustion feeling tired and
also feeling gaslighted one participant
named Pauline mayor’s described her
experience as below she said that it is
feeling like a stranger in a familiar
land with no support and no anchor and
when I read when I read those words I
got goose bumps because when I was
reflecting on my experience and
experience of people of color it was the
image and the word anchor that kept
coming to mind and my definition was
already centered around it so I would
like to suggest that epistemic
homelessness is the subjective
experience of losing anchor in situation
of epistemic injustice that it is a
sense of being displaced from once truth
base that it is if you like a mediating
variable between epistemic confidence
and ontological insecurity now well
where do we go from here the research
evidence and not just Twitter evidence
suggests that covert racism is at least
as distressing if not more than more
overt classes of racism and so I would
like to leave some strategies but women
of color in particular and other
marginalized people may want to attempt
to support themselves with the
experience of epistemic homelessness and
the first one is trust your experience
as marginalized people we are socialized
to destroy
be suspicious of a mind of our buddies
of a competence of our capacity to know
all of which can undermine our stomach
confidence and make it easier for us to
experience epistemic homelessness so
what I always say is that trusting our
lived experience is a vital act of
resistance so get to know your truth
signals trust them because the chances
are they will point you in the right
direction the direction of home the
second strategy when your reality is
being denied and you are facing at
historic injustice take a
socio-political view of the situation
and ask yourself not only what is
happening in the here and now but also
what is being reproduced
socio-politically think about who is
deemed to be the knower in the situation
think about where power lies and
remember that the ultimate power is the
power to define and we have that power
so let’s define the world and let’s
define our experience number three you
do not need to make your lived
experience and your lived reality
subject to approval subject to agreement
subject to debate so this is something
that all of us perhaps need to learn an
impact because making our experience and
our reality subject to debate and
putting it on a table means that we are
opening ourselves to the possibility of
our life and what we feel and what we
experience being subject to disagreement
and I don’t think we need to compromise
on what it is that we are experiencing
finally if you do lose your
and perhaps you are heading towards
ontological insecurity or perhaps you
already there please seek support seek
refuge from people who will not only in
your home and provide refuge but help
you find your way back there thank you
okay so when I was about 20 a
twenty-year-old undergraduate student I
lost my home
my husband and I had fallen on financial
hardship because working really hard on
my finals I got pregnant and then I
could not work because of Threatened
miscarriage and then premature labor and
on the day that we were expelled
we waited outside for the council to
decide whether I was indeed homeless
whether I had made myself intentionally
homeless and whether I was deserving of
a home now I want you to picture this
so please imagine that you are standing
outside what used to be your home and
you have the few pieces of furniture
that you own as a 20 year old scattered
on the plain on the pavement and you
have in your arm a small baby who as
predicted was born prematurely
and you are trying to make sure that we
are warm and you are waiting how might
you be feeling what kind of thoughts are
going through your mind well I will tell
you what went through my the phrase
intentionally homeless resonated in my
head
and then I started to wonder I wondered
whether I was to blame I wondered
whether I had in fact not wanted to
carry my baby to term I wondered whether
the skepticism of the council was
warranted and I wondered whether I was
deserving
of her home I was waiting and I was
waiting for someone to take me home but
not only in the physical sense because
home was what I knew and what was real
was home and in this moment I have never
felt so exposed and ashamed and
powerless and vulnerable in my sense of
sanity now as a therapist I have been
doing socio-politically and feminist
inform work primarily with women of
color and I started to recognize glimpse
of my experience in the stories of sir
told racism that women had entrusted me
with and I started to make the
connection of course and it is this
connection that I would like to speak to
you all about today and specifically to
put to you that our capacity to have a
home is dependent on our capacity to
know or conversely that our capacity to
know is dependent on a capacity to have
a home but before I go on to explain I
need to start off with some definitions
so firstly homelessness and I take it to
mean the condition of being without a
permanent dwelling or the experience of
feeling left without safe adequate or
secure housing the second concept we
need to think about is epistemic
injustice and if hysteric is a fantasy
world isn’t it a little bit well where I
come from it is you can say anyway but
actually what it means is things that
are to do with knowing and knowledge and
understanding the world and Myranda
frikar proposes that epistemic injustice
is done to us when we are rolled in our
capacity to know or in our capacity
to contribute to knowledge the final
concept that might be helpful to bear in
mind is that of ontological insecurity
and ontological insecurity refers to
people’s sense of security or insecurity
about their being in the world
it is conceptualized as a sense of
intense anxiety or dread which results
from being unable to give meaning to the
event that opinion a life or when we
struggle with knowing the reality or the
existence of things of others and of the
world so let’s go back to that
connection our capacity to know is
dependent on a capacity to have a home
so let’s think about this we know that
go home and knowing provide a sense of
safety and security in time and in space
we know that both home and knowing
delineate boundaries boundaries between
us and the world
boundaries between the in and out
boundaries between the known and the
unknown and we know that both home and
knowing provide a frame whether
epistemic cognitive or physical and
finally I would suggest that home and
knowing both grandis and anchors but as
not all and that is something else and
something quite significant and I
suggest that it is power because in the
same way that physical homelessness
require power inequality to work as it
is usually people with more social power
we can displace us and then decide
whether we are entitled to the house or
not
stomach homelessness also require power
to operate maybe I’m sure actually I’m
sure that many of us today would have
experienced this in the context of
social oppression some might refer to
such experience as micro aggression so
let’s say maybe you are in the queue and
the white person behind you get served
before you or maybe as a brown or black
body you are complimented on how well
you speak English or indeed French or
perhaps you enter a white space and you
get hit by the gaze and it is said
without being said that you are
trespassing that your body does not
belong and you feel hitting your guns
and you know but as soon as you feel the
violence particularly if you try to name
the violence it is usually denied by
people with more social power and so you
might be told that you have a chip on
your shoulder that you are paranoid and
if you show any sign of distress or
offense or god forbid anger you will be
duly invited to respond more
appropriately and it is at this time
that you may start to doubt yourself
that you’re pissed emic confidence might
get hit that is your confidence in your
capacity to know so you may start to
wonder is it me am I the problem
am i fabricating the problem because in
the world of ceramic when we speak of a
problem will become a problem and then
you might think am I going mad
now all the stories that were shared
with me in therapy had a pistol make
homelessness as a theme whatever were
stories of work contribution being
overlooked or stories of invisible eyes
pain stories of being forced into
stereotypes and stories about struggling
to break free all the stories that I
heard where stories of denial and
invalidation each and every one of the
story that I heard where a story of the
normalization of the sades denial and
invalidation you see because certain
racism cannot be sane easily
particularly by people who do not
experience it it is easily tonight
because again it cannot be seen you
cannot see what you are unwilling to see
and you cannot see what you have been
programmed not to see and not every
phenomenon that are or is inexistent can
be seen but I have seen the distress and
I have seen the subtle oppression and I
have experienced it too but of course
that’s not enough
I am a final year doctoral student and
therefore the importance of evidence and
of having a scientific and querying mind
cannot be overstated and so in my search
for truth I did what all scientists
would do of course I turned to Twitter
and then I ran a few polls and the first
question which was answered by 549
people asked whether people of color
experienced covert racism and overt
racism as equally challenging and the
results suggested that covert racism was
experienced about seven times more
challenging the second question was
answered by 336 people and was asking
about the experience of those who had
spoken out about their experience of
social presence of certain racism in
particular and so I want you to know
what had happened to them result
indicated that 95 percent of people of
color who had spoken about the
experience of Sirte racism had been
either ignored ridiculed or simply
disbelieved living only 5% of those who
had taken the poll saying that they had
been believed or that they had been
treated kindly the last poll was curious
to find out what the impact of this
denial of this epistemic injustice was
on people of color and a wide range of
responses were reported the first one
which was answered by 36% of those who
took the poll was feeling as though one
is losing was mind and the second
question and said by about 32% of those
who took the poll was feeling in pain
and in distress now as I said there was
a wide range of response so some of the
response included feeling anger feeling
rage feeling fury feeling helpless
feeling powerlessness
feeling exhaustion feeling tired and
also feeling gaslighted one participant
named Pauline mayor’s described her
experience as below she said that it is
feeling like a stranger in a familiar
land with no support and no anchor and
when I read when I read those words I
got goose bumps because when I was
reflecting on my experience and
experience of people of color it was the
image and the word anchor that kept
coming to mind and my definition was
already centered around it so I would
like to suggest that epistemic
homelessness is the subjective
experience of losing anchor in situation
of epistemic injustice that it is a
sense of being displaced from once truth
base that it is if you like a mediating
variable between epistemic confidence
and ontological insecurity now well
where do we go from here the research
evidence and not just Twitter evidence
suggests that covert racism is at least
as distressing if not more than more
overt classes of racism and so I would
like to leave some strategies but women
of color in particular and other
marginalized people may want to attempt
to support themselves with the
experience of epistemic homelessness and
the first one is trust your experience
as marginalized people we are socialized
to destroy
be suspicious of a mind of our buddies
of a competence of our capacity to know
all of which can undermine our stomach
confidence and make it easier for us to
experience epistemic homelessness so
what I always say is that trusting our
lived experience is a vital act of
resistance so get to know your truth
signals trust them because the chances
are they will point you in the right
direction the direction of home the
second strategy when your reality is
being denied and you are facing at
historic injustice take a
socio-political view of the situation
and ask yourself not only what is
happening in the here and now but also
what is being reproduced
socio-politically think about who is
deemed to be the knower in the situation
think about where power lies and
remember that the ultimate power is the
power to define and we have that power
so let’s define the world and let’s
define our experience number three you
do not need to make your lived
experience and your lived reality
subject to approval subject to agreement
subject to debate so this is something
that all of us perhaps need to learn an
impact because making our experience and
our reality subject to debate and
putting it on a table means that we are
opening ourselves to the possibility of
our life and what we feel and what we
experience being subject to disagreement
and I don’t think we need to compromise
on what it is that we are experiencing
finally if you do lose your
and perhaps you are heading towards
ontological insecurity or perhaps you
already there please seek support seek
refuge from people who will not only in
your home and provide refuge but help
you find your way back there thank you
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