[Applause]
[Music]
last year during holiday break I was
browsing online when I came across the
most beautiful shoes I’ve ever seen
they were black with little glitters at
a three-inch platform when they arrived
I was in awe I never wanted to take them
off the Monday after break I decided to
wear them to school the second I stepped
off the bus I got scared
what if someone says a rude comment what
if I’m asked to take them off because
they’re too distracted then something
strange happened later that day someone
had complimented my shoes along with
that vent my day was completely fired I
didn’t even roll my ankle I realized
nothing mattered when it came to my
looks and making judgments is a silly
waste of time this is why it is
important to ignore the appearance of
other people you will feel more relaxed
when you take a look at the significant
things in life and not outside identity
I don’t care about fitting in or getting
attention and neither should you trying
to make yourself something that you are
not is that a necessary burden many
people are self-conscious about their
appearance but it is a temporary problem
that can be fixed the inside personality
drives the outside to fit the part at
least that is what humans are made to
think we question unusual it’s just in
our nature there are some aspects of
mine that contribute to our outside
appearances but the majority of them are
incredibly simple for example I wear a
yellow shirt but my neighbor wears an
orange shirt if my neighbor asked me why
wearing a yellow shirt they would
already have the answer I like the shirt
though this example seems useless and
obvious many people will still question
appearance internally everyone is
entitled to self-expression some
individuals choose to show it off more
than others and that is fine if you feel
you want to show more self-expression
but you don’t have much confidence here
are the steps to get you in the right
direction step 1
finding your main fears what is actually
holding you back take these words and
break them down until you find the
problem usually these words are specific
many people are afraid of heights but in
reality they are only scared of falling
from Heights sometimes these potential
burdens don’t even have to do with
appearance yet worrying about looks
masks the real possible problem this
brings me to step two realizing that
your problems are not necessarily going
to happen where is our most likely
hypothetical I would like to think of
the same cross that bridge when you get
to it one can’t always guess reactions
another aspect to think about is that
these worries are silly and overdramatic
because most people won’t say anything
I’ve been dressing a bit outlandish for
about two years now
and I have only received a few hard
glares and sarcastic comments both of
which are not that offensive considering
staring is natural and the people saying
these comments are really just trying to
amuse themselves step 3
weaning yourself on when I started
dressing a little bit more unique I did
not do everything all at once it was a
slow but sure process and by the time
when I did I didn’t even think about
pews reactions I started small and
settled until I didn’t care anymore
and went flat out eccentric feeling
comfortable in your own skin shows true
identity because nothing is forced and
the mind is as a natural and normal
state step 4 choosing the right
distraction keeping your mind off of
your identity is the easy way to go
outside even if you aren’t confident
most the most important part of your day
should be getting work done and having
fun people notice when an individual is
concentrated on their looks rather than
important work when I was at dance
competitions I worried about my makeup
and costumes more than actually dancing
but my smudged lipstick should not have
stopped me from practicing what I was
therefore in this instance I chose the
wrong distraction the correct
distraction will help you for a week or
longer the incorrect distraction would
only apply for a day or less this is how
you can set your priorities straight and
realize that your appearance will not
affect your whole life even if you are
insecure
do not let your worries about your
appearance be reflected in your work
your insight intelligence should be your
biggest focus during work or school step
5
go outside an individual should not get
anxious about reactions that they
haven’t even received maybe it’s not so
bad and the outside world as you think
when an action is experienced multiple
times it is less of frightening remember
the first time you went on a roller
coaster and felt sick or scared out of
your mind what if you wanted at multiple
times it become normal and possibly
joyful slowly but surely I became more
confident in myself the first month or
so after I changed my look I don’t think
I ever would have felt more comfortable
with myself if I did not have the
experiences before this technique is not
just used with self-esteem but also with
fears therapists recommend immersion
therapy in order to face fears and get
comfortable with them another example is
the countless artist icons we look up to
David Bowie is known for his odd and
eccentric style of music and visual arts
yet he never would have been discovered
if he wasn’t confident the same goes for
artists such as Prince Madonna and even
Lady gaga
all of these musicians are looked up to
for their originality but they needed to
show their true selves before popularity
confidence is key in life job interviews
family life school big speeches etc
people feel better when they are aware
do you know what you’re doing so how do
you obtain this so-called confidence
this brings me to step 6
fake it till you make it it is easiest
to make yourself confident when you act
like you’re confident
first this way you can see what you
would act like if you’re a more
extroverted character
I am very shy in real life but acting
like I had confidence made me see how
the world works for extroverted people
rather than thinking too hard about
their their words in conversation they
simply spoke their minds and made their
true intelligence and opinion show by
faking it you can learn about what is
holding you back in the first place this
correlates with the first step finding
the main fears I’m not saying that you
should change your whole personality but
putting a different side of yourself out
there will burden forth the confidence
you never thought you had eventually
this fake persona will become a habit
and turn into real confidence this rolls
into the next step what can I do to
improve this confidence step 7
smile and chuckle laugh everything off
the comments the stairs the actions
laugh it all off when something is
associated with humor and hits you
softer and can actually make you happy
sometimes once my brother forgot to pick
me up from school and I had to wait 10
minutes during this time at least four
people walked up to me and common things
on my shoes that I mentioned earlier
they would say things like how tall are
those and Wow look at those shoes my
personal favorite is how do you walk in
those one boy said I like your shoes and
I suck at a stick bone I looked at him
laughed and said the same thing back
people will get irritated when they know
they can’t bother you and they will feed
off you when you show you our heart when
others see their comment says rude I see
them as a free two second comedy show I
had a teachers start talking to a
classmate right next to me after this
teacher finished speaking she stared at
me for a full five seconds which is a
long time for just looking at a person I
smiled back as you look
and utter confusion presenting people
with kindness after they are rude to you
can shock them and those people who make
really funny faces that actors could
never copy one guideline to the step is
always being kind stick to smiling
laughing saying thank you and making
compliments never resort to being
negative back because the commoner will
never learn their lesson as long as you
stay positive your confidence will grow
and you will feel better for your
actions towards others then next up is
the most important simple and effective
step step 8
just relax step eight is a mix of
previous steps all into one simply stay
carefree it is your choice to have
comments and actions educate you by
putting these aside there’s one less
problem in your life
ignore the unimportant aspects because
they do not matter for the time being it
might take a while but in the long run
these little burdens will go away you
just need to face them breathe and
figure out it’s a little significant on
some occasions it’s okay to say I don’t
care these words have power they take
away all of the negative connotations of
the words beforehand remember not
everything is a big deal that everything
will affect your life forever and ever
you just need to remember these eight
steps when you wake up in the morning 1
what am I afraid of – how can I get rid
of this 3 4 and 5 I’ll do it little by
little but I have to face it 6 if I show
that I’m confident maybe I will be 7 if
something is rude I’ll just laugh about
it it’s finally a I don’t need to care
about this I can be myself without any
worries now that you have these
directions you can be comfortable in
your own skin you can honestly say I’m
gonna pay with myself and I don’t care
what other people think this is where
you show us self-expression without a
second thought and that is how you display it your – I
[Music]
last year during holiday break I was
browsing online when I came across the
most beautiful shoes I’ve ever seen
they were black with little glitters at
a three-inch platform when they arrived
I was in awe I never wanted to take them
off the Monday after break I decided to
wear them to school the second I stepped
off the bus I got scared
what if someone says a rude comment what
if I’m asked to take them off because
they’re too distracted then something
strange happened later that day someone
had complimented my shoes along with
that vent my day was completely fired I
didn’t even roll my ankle I realized
nothing mattered when it came to my
looks and making judgments is a silly
waste of time this is why it is
important to ignore the appearance of
other people you will feel more relaxed
when you take a look at the significant
things in life and not outside identity
I don’t care about fitting in or getting
attention and neither should you trying
to make yourself something that you are
not is that a necessary burden many
people are self-conscious about their
appearance but it is a temporary problem
that can be fixed the inside personality
drives the outside to fit the part at
least that is what humans are made to
think we question unusual it’s just in
our nature there are some aspects of
mine that contribute to our outside
appearances but the majority of them are
incredibly simple for example I wear a
yellow shirt but my neighbor wears an
orange shirt if my neighbor asked me why
wearing a yellow shirt they would
already have the answer I like the shirt
though this example seems useless and
obvious many people will still question
appearance internally everyone is
entitled to self-expression some
individuals choose to show it off more
than others and that is fine if you feel
you want to show more self-expression
but you don’t have much confidence here
are the steps to get you in the right
direction step 1
finding your main fears what is actually
holding you back take these words and
break them down until you find the
problem usually these words are specific
many people are afraid of heights but in
reality they are only scared of falling
from Heights sometimes these potential
burdens don’t even have to do with
appearance yet worrying about looks
masks the real possible problem this
brings me to step two realizing that
your problems are not necessarily going
to happen where is our most likely
hypothetical I would like to think of
the same cross that bridge when you get
to it one can’t always guess reactions
another aspect to think about is that
these worries are silly and overdramatic
because most people won’t say anything
I’ve been dressing a bit outlandish for
about two years now
and I have only received a few hard
glares and sarcastic comments both of
which are not that offensive considering
staring is natural and the people saying
these comments are really just trying to
amuse themselves step 3
weaning yourself on when I started
dressing a little bit more unique I did
not do everything all at once it was a
slow but sure process and by the time
when I did I didn’t even think about
pews reactions I started small and
settled until I didn’t care anymore
and went flat out eccentric feeling
comfortable in your own skin shows true
identity because nothing is forced and
the mind is as a natural and normal
state step 4 choosing the right
distraction keeping your mind off of
your identity is the easy way to go
outside even if you aren’t confident
most the most important part of your day
should be getting work done and having
fun people notice when an individual is
concentrated on their looks rather than
important work when I was at dance
competitions I worried about my makeup
and costumes more than actually dancing
but my smudged lipstick should not have
stopped me from practicing what I was
therefore in this instance I chose the
wrong distraction the correct
distraction will help you for a week or
longer the incorrect distraction would
only apply for a day or less this is how
you can set your priorities straight and
realize that your appearance will not
affect your whole life even if you are
insecure
do not let your worries about your
appearance be reflected in your work
your insight intelligence should be your
biggest focus during work or school step
5
go outside an individual should not get
anxious about reactions that they
haven’t even received maybe it’s not so
bad and the outside world as you think
when an action is experienced multiple
times it is less of frightening remember
the first time you went on a roller
coaster and felt sick or scared out of
your mind what if you wanted at multiple
times it become normal and possibly
joyful slowly but surely I became more
confident in myself the first month or
so after I changed my look I don’t think
I ever would have felt more comfortable
with myself if I did not have the
experiences before this technique is not
just used with self-esteem but also with
fears therapists recommend immersion
therapy in order to face fears and get
comfortable with them another example is
the countless artist icons we look up to
David Bowie is known for his odd and
eccentric style of music and visual arts
yet he never would have been discovered
if he wasn’t confident the same goes for
artists such as Prince Madonna and even
Lady gaga
all of these musicians are looked up to
for their originality but they needed to
show their true selves before popularity
confidence is key in life job interviews
family life school big speeches etc
people feel better when they are aware
do you know what you’re doing so how do
you obtain this so-called confidence
this brings me to step 6
fake it till you make it it is easiest
to make yourself confident when you act
like you’re confident
first this way you can see what you
would act like if you’re a more
extroverted character
I am very shy in real life but acting
like I had confidence made me see how
the world works for extroverted people
rather than thinking too hard about
their their words in conversation they
simply spoke their minds and made their
true intelligence and opinion show by
faking it you can learn about what is
holding you back in the first place this
correlates with the first step finding
the main fears I’m not saying that you
should change your whole personality but
putting a different side of yourself out
there will burden forth the confidence
you never thought you had eventually
this fake persona will become a habit
and turn into real confidence this rolls
into the next step what can I do to
improve this confidence step 7
smile and chuckle laugh everything off
the comments the stairs the actions
laugh it all off when something is
associated with humor and hits you
softer and can actually make you happy
sometimes once my brother forgot to pick
me up from school and I had to wait 10
minutes during this time at least four
people walked up to me and common things
on my shoes that I mentioned earlier
they would say things like how tall are
those and Wow look at those shoes my
personal favorite is how do you walk in
those one boy said I like your shoes and
I suck at a stick bone I looked at him
laughed and said the same thing back
people will get irritated when they know
they can’t bother you and they will feed
off you when you show you our heart when
others see their comment says rude I see
them as a free two second comedy show I
had a teachers start talking to a
classmate right next to me after this
teacher finished speaking she stared at
me for a full five seconds which is a
long time for just looking at a person I
smiled back as you look
and utter confusion presenting people
with kindness after they are rude to you
can shock them and those people who make
really funny faces that actors could
never copy one guideline to the step is
always being kind stick to smiling
laughing saying thank you and making
compliments never resort to being
negative back because the commoner will
never learn their lesson as long as you
stay positive your confidence will grow
and you will feel better for your
actions towards others then next up is
the most important simple and effective
step step 8
just relax step eight is a mix of
previous steps all into one simply stay
carefree it is your choice to have
comments and actions educate you by
putting these aside there’s one less
problem in your life
ignore the unimportant aspects because
they do not matter for the time being it
might take a while but in the long run
these little burdens will go away you
just need to face them breathe and
figure out it’s a little significant on
some occasions it’s okay to say I don’t
care these words have power they take
away all of the negative connotations of
the words beforehand remember not
everything is a big deal that everything
will affect your life forever and ever
you just need to remember these eight
steps when you wake up in the morning 1
what am I afraid of – how can I get rid
of this 3 4 and 5 I’ll do it little by
little but I have to face it 6 if I show
that I’m confident maybe I will be 7 if
something is rude I’ll just laugh about
it it’s finally a I don’t need to care
about this I can be myself without any
worries now that you have these
directions you can be comfortable in
your own skin you can honestly say I’m
gonna pay with myself and I don’t care
what other people think this is where
you show us self-expression without a
second thought and that is how you display it your – I
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