fear is the greatest burden we carry let
me start by asking you what would you do
and who would you be in your life if
fear was not a factor in 2012 I was a
junior at Syracuse University and like
any ambitious young college student I
had come up with my plan for how I was
going to change the world I was going to
lead the charge on getting more women
elected to public office and it was
going to start right on my college
campus I would recruit women and train
them to run for student government with
the hopes that they would run in their
communities after college was over and I
wanted to be a part of this to myself so
I took this opportunity to make this the
subject matter of a major research paper
and I had a few revelations along the
way that I hadn’t expected it’s not that
women weren’t winning elections at the
same rates as their male counterparts
but they weren’t running at the same
rates to begin with and fear was a huge
part of this fear of the lack of support
for working mothers fear of antiquated
gender roles and stereotypes fear of
sexual harassment these are all things
that resonated with me as I had
convinced myself not to run for student
body president earlier that year I had
let fear talk me out of doing what I
wanted to do but eventually I came
around because I realized that the risks
far far were beneath the rewards and we
don’t make a change unless we get in
front of our fears and face them so I
was reminded in this moment of one of my
favorite quotes
it’s from Eleanor Roosevelt do one thing
each day that scares you and in this
moment this became less of an
inspirational mantra and more of a call
to action do one thing each day that
scares you I kept this near and dear to
my heart and my mission was less about
gender parity and
more about collectively getting people
to get past their fears so we could
benefit from everyone’s full talents and
full capabilities in our world I kept
this near and dear to my heart as I had
the quote hanging in my room it was the
background on my phone it was on my
refrigerator and in trying moments I
would tell myself Ali this is your time
to do one thing today that scares you it
wasn’t until my journey manifested into
something much bigger that this really
really became a part of my life
in 2015 I decided to compete for Miss
Rhode Island and the opportunity to
represent the ocean state at Miss
America and in the months leading up to
the competition I had numerous public
appearances speaking engagements media
events training and rehearsals and of
course there were scary moments along
the way and I was obviously thinking
about the Miss America telecast and
stepping up to the infamous onstage
question and the idea of wearing a
swimsuit and high heels on national
television these were all scary things
and not even to mention the fact I had
only gotten two pageants as a teenager
to get past my paralyzing fear of public
speaking
I put myself right at the helm of what
scared me the most so I could overcome
it and grow moving forward in my time as
Miss Rhode Island it became a year of
advocacy it was not just a one night
telecast it was something much bigger
and I was able to promote my platform
leading ladies equipping young women
with the skills to lead in pursuits of
getting more young women involved in
leadership and getting them past their
fears I loved talking to young women
about what scared them the most and how
they could get past that and be their
best version of themself so as this time
was coming to an end as Miss Rhode
Island it was the spring of 2016 and I
was looking for a new way to challenge
myself and I started thinking about
author Malcolm Gladwell’s rule of 10,000
hours it’s the idea that it takes 10,000
hours of you
practicing your craft to become an
expert in it and I started thinking what
if we could all be experts encouraged
and maybe we don’t need 10,000 hours of
practicing courage or 10,000 attempts of
doing things that are courageous but we
could become cognizant of how we let
fear manifest itself in our daily lives
and instead counteract that so we could
get past our fears and do the things
that were meant to do and be the people
were meant to be so I came up with a
concept called the scare jar it’s kind
of like a swear jar but you write down
what you’ve done every single day that
scared you you put the date the action
put it on a post-it stick it in the jar
and a year or so from now you’d open it
up and see the things that had scared
you the things that may no longer faze
you and how you’ve grown personally and
professionally and this was a little bit
of a daunting task because I think while
I have a lot of momentum now but do I
really want to keep this up for a full
year and a few days later I had gone to
a women’s leadership workshop and the
speaker really hit home when she said
fear is energy and fear means go so I
decided to commit myself to this and my
time is miss Rhode Island was coming on
up and I had some big scary things ahead
for me in the coming year at this time I
was a graduate student at Brown
University and I don’t know about any of
you but I am NOT a math person math is
terrifying to me but it was something I
had to do in order to get my degree so
it wasn’t the taking of the math course
that was particularly scary because it
was something I had to do but it was how
I practice courage in the classroom I
went back to Brown to retake this class
it was statistics and I raised my hand
when I was lost which was often I put my
pride aside and I asked for help again
and again and again until I got it right
and eventually I conquered this I moved
on graduated from Brown and the next
step was to pack up all of my bags
and moved to northern Vermont I moved to
a state that I had little time in I had
never been in northern Vermont I knew
nobody in northern Vermont except for
the young female candidate who had hired
me to be her campaign manager so I moved
on up to Vermont took on this challenge
in the election of 2016 and while I was
in Vermont I started thinking of other
ways that I could continue to practice
my courage and do one thing each day
that scares me so alongside math I was
always very adversely affected to the
idea of running and running for fun so I
entered my first 5k and what was
terrible and slow and painful has become
something that I loved and I thrive on
and what was a terrible three-mile run
has started off many many more miles and
the miles have come and come and I’ve
gotten faster and faster and the
distances have just gotten longer and
it’s something that I’m so thankful to
have as an outlook in my life today that
I wouldn’t have had otherwise
if I hadn’t dared to get involved in the
first place
so using this momentum eventually the
election was over and I needed to come
back home and figure out my next career
move and there was something that had
been on my heart and something that I
had been thinking about but had long let
fear get in the way of so I made the
next big career move I did something
that had scared me and I joined the
and in doing so I realized that I had
come into a whole new world where I was
going to be doing a lot of things that
scared me all the time
often more than one thing during the day
would be challenging and scary and it’s
something that over the past year and a
half of my life I’ve been so grateful
for especially because I’ve been able to
live my mantra so whatever it is I’m
sure there are things you were thinking
of right now that scare you fear
manifests itself in different ways in
our lives maybe it’s leaving your job
and starting a new career it’s having a
difficult conversation with a loved one
it’s raising your hand in class when you
have no idea what’s going on or asking
for help we’re getting involved in
politics in a time that we are so
divided and things are so tumultuous but
our voices are needed now more than ever
so it is my hope that you will leave
here today with a refined sense of how
you can face your fears set up a time
line for yourself find an accountability
partner speak your goals do them and in
that be daring daily and find your power
as you practice courage
thank you [Applause]
me start by asking you what would you do
and who would you be in your life if
fear was not a factor in 2012 I was a
junior at Syracuse University and like
any ambitious young college student I
had come up with my plan for how I was
going to change the world I was going to
lead the charge on getting more women
elected to public office and it was
going to start right on my college
campus I would recruit women and train
them to run for student government with
the hopes that they would run in their
communities after college was over and I
wanted to be a part of this to myself so
I took this opportunity to make this the
subject matter of a major research paper
and I had a few revelations along the
way that I hadn’t expected it’s not that
women weren’t winning elections at the
same rates as their male counterparts
but they weren’t running at the same
rates to begin with and fear was a huge
part of this fear of the lack of support
for working mothers fear of antiquated
gender roles and stereotypes fear of
sexual harassment these are all things
that resonated with me as I had
convinced myself not to run for student
body president earlier that year I had
let fear talk me out of doing what I
wanted to do but eventually I came
around because I realized that the risks
far far were beneath the rewards and we
don’t make a change unless we get in
front of our fears and face them so I
was reminded in this moment of one of my
favorite quotes
it’s from Eleanor Roosevelt do one thing
each day that scares you and in this
moment this became less of an
inspirational mantra and more of a call
to action do one thing each day that
scares you I kept this near and dear to
my heart and my mission was less about
gender parity and
more about collectively getting people
to get past their fears so we could
benefit from everyone’s full talents and
full capabilities in our world I kept
this near and dear to my heart as I had
the quote hanging in my room it was the
background on my phone it was on my
refrigerator and in trying moments I
would tell myself Ali this is your time
to do one thing today that scares you it
wasn’t until my journey manifested into
something much bigger that this really
really became a part of my life
in 2015 I decided to compete for Miss
Rhode Island and the opportunity to
represent the ocean state at Miss
America and in the months leading up to
the competition I had numerous public
appearances speaking engagements media
events training and rehearsals and of
course there were scary moments along
the way and I was obviously thinking
about the Miss America telecast and
stepping up to the infamous onstage
question and the idea of wearing a
swimsuit and high heels on national
television these were all scary things
and not even to mention the fact I had
only gotten two pageants as a teenager
to get past my paralyzing fear of public
speaking
I put myself right at the helm of what
scared me the most so I could overcome
it and grow moving forward in my time as
Miss Rhode Island it became a year of
advocacy it was not just a one night
telecast it was something much bigger
and I was able to promote my platform
leading ladies equipping young women
with the skills to lead in pursuits of
getting more young women involved in
leadership and getting them past their
fears I loved talking to young women
about what scared them the most and how
they could get past that and be their
best version of themself so as this time
was coming to an end as Miss Rhode
Island it was the spring of 2016 and I
was looking for a new way to challenge
myself and I started thinking about
author Malcolm Gladwell’s rule of 10,000
hours it’s the idea that it takes 10,000
hours of you
practicing your craft to become an
expert in it and I started thinking what
if we could all be experts encouraged
and maybe we don’t need 10,000 hours of
practicing courage or 10,000 attempts of
doing things that are courageous but we
could become cognizant of how we let
fear manifest itself in our daily lives
and instead counteract that so we could
get past our fears and do the things
that were meant to do and be the people
were meant to be so I came up with a
concept called the scare jar it’s kind
of like a swear jar but you write down
what you’ve done every single day that
scared you you put the date the action
put it on a post-it stick it in the jar
and a year or so from now you’d open it
up and see the things that had scared
you the things that may no longer faze
you and how you’ve grown personally and
professionally and this was a little bit
of a daunting task because I think while
I have a lot of momentum now but do I
really want to keep this up for a full
year and a few days later I had gone to
a women’s leadership workshop and the
speaker really hit home when she said
fear is energy and fear means go so I
decided to commit myself to this and my
time is miss Rhode Island was coming on
up and I had some big scary things ahead
for me in the coming year at this time I
was a graduate student at Brown
University and I don’t know about any of
you but I am NOT a math person math is
terrifying to me but it was something I
had to do in order to get my degree so
it wasn’t the taking of the math course
that was particularly scary because it
was something I had to do but it was how
I practice courage in the classroom I
went back to Brown to retake this class
it was statistics and I raised my hand
when I was lost which was often I put my
pride aside and I asked for help again
and again and again until I got it right
and eventually I conquered this I moved
on graduated from Brown and the next
step was to pack up all of my bags
and moved to northern Vermont I moved to
a state that I had little time in I had
never been in northern Vermont I knew
nobody in northern Vermont except for
the young female candidate who had hired
me to be her campaign manager so I moved
on up to Vermont took on this challenge
in the election of 2016 and while I was
in Vermont I started thinking of other
ways that I could continue to practice
my courage and do one thing each day
that scares me so alongside math I was
always very adversely affected to the
idea of running and running for fun so I
entered my first 5k and what was
terrible and slow and painful has become
something that I loved and I thrive on
and what was a terrible three-mile run
has started off many many more miles and
the miles have come and come and I’ve
gotten faster and faster and the
distances have just gotten longer and
it’s something that I’m so thankful to
have as an outlook in my life today that
I wouldn’t have had otherwise
if I hadn’t dared to get involved in the
first place
so using this momentum eventually the
election was over and I needed to come
back home and figure out my next career
move and there was something that had
been on my heart and something that I
had been thinking about but had long let
fear get in the way of so I made the
next big career move I did something
that had scared me and I joined the
and in doing so I realized that I had
come into a whole new world where I was
going to be doing a lot of things that
scared me all the time
often more than one thing during the day
would be challenging and scary and it’s
something that over the past year and a
half of my life I’ve been so grateful
for especially because I’ve been able to
live my mantra so whatever it is I’m
sure there are things you were thinking
of right now that scare you fear
manifests itself in different ways in
our lives maybe it’s leaving your job
and starting a new career it’s having a
difficult conversation with a loved one
it’s raising your hand in class when you
have no idea what’s going on or asking
for help we’re getting involved in
politics in a time that we are so
divided and things are so tumultuous but
our voices are needed now more than ever
so it is my hope that you will leave
here today with a refined sense of how
you can face your fears set up a time
line for yourself find an accountability
partner speak your goals do them and in
that be daring daily and find your power
as you practice courage
thank you [Applause]
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