you remember the last time someone
has said something or done something that has
sitting wrong that has hurt you maybe a
gesture a look that has caused you
discomfort
and you remember the last time
you have done or said something that
has caused discomfort to a person
another person because really the
people we have in our way of being
human characteristic as the
aggressiveness
we are aggressive is a part
inherent in the human being we give and
we are constantly aggressive
but not only we give aggressiveness also
we give love we give love we care and
today we are going to talk about this
Situation of situations in which
people who have conflict then
we give aggressiveness and we give love because
also in the conflict we are going to give the
two situations are going to be both
situations when we have a
Conflicting situation is probably
because the situation of aggression is
winning to the situation of love and of
care and affection with people
these would be the two impulses of the two
human emotions
and give love and give aggression of love and
the hatred that we all have within
we just need to observe a
daycare when we see the children that
They stick and hugging them
they give themselves love and they also give themselves aggressiveness
constantly and we see in childhood
as something natural we see that our son
comes with a bruise or what they tell us in
the school that our son has stuck to
someone and this we see as normal but
it also happens in the adult world not
it changes so much what happens that maybe the
people we have repressed a little more
and not so easily express these
emotions so quickly in a
same day in such an expressive way
but if we look closely at our
language would probably be similar in
a much more conflict situation today
the conversation that we are going to have part
of this idea
how in a conflict situation
we can build peace and we can
build peace
because we know how to work with our
aggressiveness and accept this aggressiveness and
because accepting this aggressiveness
we can also work forms of
communication and peaceful dialogue what
let’s do with two basic ideas the
first basic idea is precisely this
accept our aggressive part and the
second basic idea is to understand that
many times more than the reason we’re going to
need also thought and we’re going
to do also with three recommendations
let’s start with the first
recommendation the first recommendation
part of the idea that we always have
that open the door to dialogue we
we always have to let the other
person for many conflicts that
let’s have if you want to talk to us
can you talk do not close the issues
normally if we want people with
those who have conflict and there are issues
that are delicate because we say we are not going
to touch this topic
we talk about this topic but the no
talk about a topic among people who
they have confidence among people who
they want means actually limiting the
communication and limit the conversation
between each other and the advice that I
would give this recommendation is that we open
always the door we can always talk
and to be able to speak one has to be
prepared to do it and be able to
I will communicate to the other I am prepared
to speak with you I open the door
although it is a delicate subject although
be of a theme that we do not think the same
because because thinking like that is not
necessary we can talk together and not
think like we can talk together and
do not dialogue the same and this is an idea
basic think
the same is not necessary between people who
dialogue after this basic idea
let’s move on to the second recommendation
the second recommendation is how are we going to
communicate we must communicate a
so that the other part feels good
received and for the other party to be
feel welcome what we owe
to do is first listen to hear that
is telling us and so the other
part see that we are
listening to what we are going to do is
repeat what you are telling us
obviously summing up and saying of
a much shorter way with a
neutralized language without so much load
negative normally if the person us
sends negative charge the way to do it
would be able to formulate the initial sentence if
I understood you well if you understood
well what you want to tell me is this and
this and this and there I start a dialogue
different because I’ll start talking about myself
after you have spoken knowing
I have understood you and you also know
that you understood and we can move to another
we no longer have to be in an argument
fruitless because everyone tries to
the other one understands, we have already passed the
level of being able to understand us this
second recommendation is very linked to
the third recommendation that is when
we talk about the assertiveness technique
we always say good when we speak
with other people
we must be assertive to be assertive
understanding that we are going to say that
that we want to say in a correct way
and that this way of being assertive and of
Sincerely communicate what we think
in an educated and correct way it goes
to increase our self-esteem but be
assertive is always not possible because
to be that active the most
important is that we must accept that a
the other person like what we’re going to
say you will not like it if it’s not better
not be assertive for example at a dinner
Christmas if he invites us
our thirsty mother-in-law or a friend someone to
who we want and who has prepared us
a dish very lovingly with
a lot of emotion and we do not like it
really at that moment be assertive and
say good has not been very good
Well, probably not the best
way of communicating because if we have
said what we thought but really
what we thought was well on track
we were giving a message that we
we are prepared for this person
feel bad this day and our dinner goes
to be the same from this moment onwards
So much we have to see that it is not always
good to be assertive when it would be good
to be assertive it’s good to be assertive
when I really
I have to give a lot of information
that the other person hurts this
information
I have to give it because there I go to
combine these two emotions of which
we talked and well combined this
emotion of love and this emotion of hate
because because when I’m assertive
I usually always give an information
aggressive it’s very easy to be receptive
saying pretty things almost
we need the technique instead when
I am assertive and I give an information
unpleasant to a person
I use aggression if I give it a
information to an unpleasant person
about your academic results about your
health status on a condition of
your hygiene and so on I am a
aggressiveness but it is an aggressiveness
often necessary because because the
positive part the love part is the
objective the goal is to take care of
that this person can really improve
and that’s why I give aggressiveness I do not give
senseless aggressiveness like at dinner
but I give an aggressiveness so that
this person can improve one can
improve your kitchen dishes in many
other times we do not need dinner
Christmas for this situation both there
we would have the three recommendations
initials the first
part of the idea of always opening the
door to dialogue we have to
think we can open the door
because we do not need to think the same
with the people we are with
dialoguing and that normally when
we have conflicts is because we do not think
the same and accept the difference is a
important point the second is how we
let’s communicate therefore start
saying to start listening and saying
if he has understood you well and the third
look when it ‘s good to be assertive but
it’s not always good to be assertive is not
a technique that we should always
use so much with these three
recommendations we would arrive at the second
basic idea is the idea that only
with the reason why we are not in the
way to find agreements in which
the reason is not the way to find
agreements because really if we
we are in a situation of
conflict only with the reason
of each of the parties that have
conflict let’s see that they all have
reasoning many times all have
legal elements elements of time
many objective elements that would give
reason to one and now and another depending
from the perspective that they’re going to
talk but talk only from the
reason they will not find a point of
I find reason, I eat
mediator in this case what I do
when I work with people in conflict
is that I try to get out of this
reasoning really to other aspects
aspects of human needs aspects
of emotions and this reasoning that
basically what it is looking for
each one is right and as a reason to each
one what is right under what each one needs
person has stopped talking about
correct situations and under the
needs to the needs of the
people in the interests of
people and there when we go down to the
interests of people we can see
let’s also talk about
feelings of emotion and let’s put together
emotion and reason
to do so would be able to express
talk about a story that all
we have and we have known from small
maybe those of us who are more of culture
catholic future christian that is the
story of the prodigal son a story
of the prodigal son part of a father who
gives the inheritance to their children and gives
each child then the part that
corresponds and the youngest child brings the
heritage leaves the country and then lives in
the life already forgotten and forgetting the
family and you are in a moment
since money has already been spent and
wants to go back to the father’s house but
maybe not already with his condition as a son
you feel that you can do it like
son’s condition but maybe to
work at the father’s house when the
father what to get him to walk the
father is shocked he gets emotional and this
it is important
the father sees his son
and notice this feeling and it’s very
happy and seeing this feeling of his
son
because what provokes him the fact that his
son has come to see what he does is
tell everyone that they are going to celebrate
a party and when they are celebrating the
party comes the big brother the brother
who has stayed with the father and when
see this situation feel injustice
because I think all the time here
working side by side with my father and
this brother who has left is received
for my father with more emotion than me
himself and he talks to father and father
You will do well the division between
reason and these interests and emotions the
father will tell you you are the son who has
been with me and therefore mine is
yours and he says it like that but I’m
happy and I’m happy that my son
have come to see me and therefore are two
different situations one is the
emotional I am happy because my
son who was who did not know where
I was back to see me but instead
you
you are the son who has been with me and
I love you too I can divide these
situations but I can also
integrate them because I have a feeling
loving enter in the two directions there
we can see that if we really only
let’s look at the aspects of the reason
we could never get in the way of
peace
therefore the end of this conversation
with you is that peace really does not
it is built only with one reason and
that the path of peace is not
simply the reason to seek peace
the reason is not the way
[Applause]
has said something or done something that has
sitting wrong that has hurt you maybe a
gesture a look that has caused you
discomfort
and you remember the last time
you have done or said something that
has caused discomfort to a person
another person because really the
people we have in our way of being
human characteristic as the
aggressiveness
we are aggressive is a part
inherent in the human being we give and
we are constantly aggressive
but not only we give aggressiveness also
we give love we give love we care and
today we are going to talk about this
Situation of situations in which
people who have conflict then
we give aggressiveness and we give love because
also in the conflict we are going to give the
two situations are going to be both
situations when we have a
Conflicting situation is probably
because the situation of aggression is
winning to the situation of love and of
care and affection with people
these would be the two impulses of the two
human emotions
and give love and give aggression of love and
the hatred that we all have within
we just need to observe a
daycare when we see the children that
They stick and hugging them
they give themselves love and they also give themselves aggressiveness
constantly and we see in childhood
as something natural we see that our son
comes with a bruise or what they tell us in
the school that our son has stuck to
someone and this we see as normal but
it also happens in the adult world not
it changes so much what happens that maybe the
people we have repressed a little more
and not so easily express these
emotions so quickly in a
same day in such an expressive way
but if we look closely at our
language would probably be similar in
a much more conflict situation today
the conversation that we are going to have part
of this idea
how in a conflict situation
we can build peace and we can
build peace
because we know how to work with our
aggressiveness and accept this aggressiveness and
because accepting this aggressiveness
we can also work forms of
communication and peaceful dialogue what
let’s do with two basic ideas the
first basic idea is precisely this
accept our aggressive part and the
second basic idea is to understand that
many times more than the reason we’re going to
need also thought and we’re going
to do also with three recommendations
let’s start with the first
recommendation the first recommendation
part of the idea that we always have
that open the door to dialogue we
we always have to let the other
person for many conflicts that
let’s have if you want to talk to us
can you talk do not close the issues
normally if we want people with
those who have conflict and there are issues
that are delicate because we say we are not going
to touch this topic
we talk about this topic but the no
talk about a topic among people who
they have confidence among people who
they want means actually limiting the
communication and limit the conversation
between each other and the advice that I
would give this recommendation is that we open
always the door we can always talk
and to be able to speak one has to be
prepared to do it and be able to
I will communicate to the other I am prepared
to speak with you I open the door
although it is a delicate subject although
be of a theme that we do not think the same
because because thinking like that is not
necessary we can talk together and not
think like we can talk together and
do not dialogue the same and this is an idea
basic think
the same is not necessary between people who
dialogue after this basic idea
let’s move on to the second recommendation
the second recommendation is how are we going to
communicate we must communicate a
so that the other part feels good
received and for the other party to be
feel welcome what we owe
to do is first listen to hear that
is telling us and so the other
part see that we are
listening to what we are going to do is
repeat what you are telling us
obviously summing up and saying of
a much shorter way with a
neutralized language without so much load
negative normally if the person us
sends negative charge the way to do it
would be able to formulate the initial sentence if
I understood you well if you understood
well what you want to tell me is this and
this and this and there I start a dialogue
different because I’ll start talking about myself
after you have spoken knowing
I have understood you and you also know
that you understood and we can move to another
we no longer have to be in an argument
fruitless because everyone tries to
the other one understands, we have already passed the
level of being able to understand us this
second recommendation is very linked to
the third recommendation that is when
we talk about the assertiveness technique
we always say good when we speak
with other people
we must be assertive to be assertive
understanding that we are going to say that
that we want to say in a correct way
and that this way of being assertive and of
Sincerely communicate what we think
in an educated and correct way it goes
to increase our self-esteem but be
assertive is always not possible because
to be that active the most
important is that we must accept that a
the other person like what we’re going to
say you will not like it if it’s not better
not be assertive for example at a dinner
Christmas if he invites us
our thirsty mother-in-law or a friend someone to
who we want and who has prepared us
a dish very lovingly with
a lot of emotion and we do not like it
really at that moment be assertive and
say good has not been very good
Well, probably not the best
way of communicating because if we have
said what we thought but really
what we thought was well on track
we were giving a message that we
we are prepared for this person
feel bad this day and our dinner goes
to be the same from this moment onwards
So much we have to see that it is not always
good to be assertive when it would be good
to be assertive it’s good to be assertive
when I really
I have to give a lot of information
that the other person hurts this
information
I have to give it because there I go to
combine these two emotions of which
we talked and well combined this
emotion of love and this emotion of hate
because because when I’m assertive
I usually always give an information
aggressive it’s very easy to be receptive
saying pretty things almost
we need the technique instead when
I am assertive and I give an information
unpleasant to a person
I use aggression if I give it a
information to an unpleasant person
about your academic results about your
health status on a condition of
your hygiene and so on I am a
aggressiveness but it is an aggressiveness
often necessary because because the
positive part the love part is the
objective the goal is to take care of
that this person can really improve
and that’s why I give aggressiveness I do not give
senseless aggressiveness like at dinner
but I give an aggressiveness so that
this person can improve one can
improve your kitchen dishes in many
other times we do not need dinner
Christmas for this situation both there
we would have the three recommendations
initials the first
part of the idea of always opening the
door to dialogue we have to
think we can open the door
because we do not need to think the same
with the people we are with
dialoguing and that normally when
we have conflicts is because we do not think
the same and accept the difference is a
important point the second is how we
let’s communicate therefore start
saying to start listening and saying
if he has understood you well and the third
look when it ‘s good to be assertive but
it’s not always good to be assertive is not
a technique that we should always
use so much with these three
recommendations we would arrive at the second
basic idea is the idea that only
with the reason why we are not in the
way to find agreements in which
the reason is not the way to find
agreements because really if we
we are in a situation of
conflict only with the reason
of each of the parties that have
conflict let’s see that they all have
reasoning many times all have
legal elements elements of time
many objective elements that would give
reason to one and now and another depending
from the perspective that they’re going to
talk but talk only from the
reason they will not find a point of
I find reason, I eat
mediator in this case what I do
when I work with people in conflict
is that I try to get out of this
reasoning really to other aspects
aspects of human needs aspects
of emotions and this reasoning that
basically what it is looking for
each one is right and as a reason to each
one what is right under what each one needs
person has stopped talking about
correct situations and under the
needs to the needs of the
people in the interests of
people and there when we go down to the
interests of people we can see
let’s also talk about
feelings of emotion and let’s put together
emotion and reason
to do so would be able to express
talk about a story that all
we have and we have known from small
maybe those of us who are more of culture
catholic future christian that is the
story of the prodigal son a story
of the prodigal son part of a father who
gives the inheritance to their children and gives
each child then the part that
corresponds and the youngest child brings the
heritage leaves the country and then lives in
the life already forgotten and forgetting the
family and you are in a moment
since money has already been spent and
wants to go back to the father’s house but
maybe not already with his condition as a son
you feel that you can do it like
son’s condition but maybe to
work at the father’s house when the
father what to get him to walk the
father is shocked he gets emotional and this
it is important
the father sees his son
and notice this feeling and it’s very
happy and seeing this feeling of his
son
because what provokes him the fact that his
son has come to see what he does is
tell everyone that they are going to celebrate
a party and when they are celebrating the
party comes the big brother the brother
who has stayed with the father and when
see this situation feel injustice
because I think all the time here
working side by side with my father and
this brother who has left is received
for my father with more emotion than me
himself and he talks to father and father
You will do well the division between
reason and these interests and emotions the
father will tell you you are the son who has
been with me and therefore mine is
yours and he says it like that but I’m
happy and I’m happy that my son
have come to see me and therefore are two
different situations one is the
emotional I am happy because my
son who was who did not know where
I was back to see me but instead
you
you are the son who has been with me and
I love you too I can divide these
situations but I can also
integrate them because I have a feeling
loving enter in the two directions there
we can see that if we really only
let’s look at the aspects of the reason
we could never get in the way of
peace
therefore the end of this conversation
with you is that peace really does not
it is built only with one reason and
that the path of peace is not
simply the reason to seek peace
the reason is not the way
[Applause]
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