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Changing the Rules of Engagement Between Adults and Children | Kate Cross | TEDxCorsham


[Music]
when I was a child I railed against
rules rules were nothing more than an
outlet for power-hungry adults
risk-averse parents or worst of all lazy
thinkers rules belonged in the adult
world and were designed specifically for
children because children could not be
trusted to keep themselves entertained
or to be kind or to keep himself safe or
to avoid adult embarrassment rules are a
bit like cling film they protect the
real authentic you from the outside
world and the outside world from the
real authentic you but then it’s all bad
here are some rules I actually quite
like I actually like paying my taxes I
like not killing people I like not
breaking into people’s property I like
going to bed at night wearing clothes in
public I like cleaning my teeth I like
not speeding I like eating healthfully
and I like being kind but here are some
of the rules I don’t like having to lie
to someone when they ask me how I am
having to tell someone who’s done a
terrible job they’ve done a good job
because that’s being kind I really don’t
like the rule of school uniform but
that’s an argument for a whole other
evening I don’t have the rule when
you’re in a car that you have to flick
your hand up at the person who’s coming
up because they haven’t just knocked
your wing mirror off I don’t like the
rule that makes adults think they’re
more superior and clever than children I
don’t like the rule that says when you
grow up you’re going to marry somebody
from the opposite sex at school I didn’t
realize they were hoops to jump through
to achieve academic success and because
the social rules were too preposterous
to adhere to I entered my adult life
feeling like a failure and a moral
rebellious one at that
it took me some time to shake off this
image but I think I’ve now learned how
to turn this impulse these impulses to
my advantage so when I was in my early
30s working in a local theatre the
Theatre Royal I spotted a rule that
needed changing I realized how come
children don’t get to go to theatre on a
regular basis the same way that adults
do so I mentioned this and luckily there
was consent amongst all those around me
and we built a theater for children and
young people called the egg the week
before we open the theatre there were
very few plays for children in bath and
when we opened there were at least two
performances every week of the year and
there they all were these audiences they
just showed up and they’re still there
so sometimes I think it only takes one
person or one organization to do what
hundreds of people had not even known
they were waiting for later I spotted
another rule that could be changed when
children go to school why do they always
go to the same building there’s no
reason is there so we changed that and
we created a residency project called
school without walls in which primary
school children have been coming to
school in our theatre for the last six
years the first school to take part took
a massive risk but those schools that
followed was shored up by the knowledge
that the trailblazing school had not
fallen on its sword now the process
seems really quite normal
surely a brilliant new business idea is
a changing of the rules a disrupting of
the norm
Dyson discovered that you didn’t have to
put paper inside a vacuum lucozade
decided they could start selling small
bottles of their stimulant to children
instead of just the big bottles to sick
people changing a rule isn’t really an
act of will a will a willful singular
act of rebellion against the existence
of the rule itself although my mother
would say it was an icky it is not it
could be an act of logic and reason this
rule makes people feel like a failure
and that’s not very productive so let’s
change it sometimes we don’t even know
we’re changing the rules when I wrote
essays at school my default position was
to do it differently to come up with a
unique proposition and rock the boat a
bit with a new thought pairing
this creative approach wasn’t very
academic and thus I was left feeling
like a failure you would think would you
not that a nice friendly place like a
theater a place where art happens would
be immune from making children feel like
failures yet of course like everywhere
else a child will only have an
experience of live theatre through the
prism of expectation of the adult that
took them there those adult gatekeepers
are awash with well-intentioned rules to
educate their child to help them with
their exams to broaden their horizons
and make sure they get the message for
moral guidance or simply to be
entertained and have a jolly good time
and not have one’s parents worldview
challenged not one little bit they’re
merely adhering to a set of invisible
rules but in so doing they place a layer
of burden on the shoulders of those
young people who are going to watch the
play the pressure to have understood the
play and to be able to articulate that
the obligation to have an opinion about
whether the play was good or not the
expectation that they will leave the
theatre happier or better human beings
and they were before they went in and if
they don’t feel those things might they
not now come away feeling as though they
had failed and that had been a piece of
art that had made them feel that way I
work in the theatre does this mean I
want to watch theatre and read about
theatre think about Yetta talk about
theatre do nothing but theater 24/7 no
it really does not there are other bits
of me really side projects there are
8760 hours in a year of which children
spend 1372 going to school that’s just
16 percent of their time when they’re
being schooled so when we take them to
see a play a work of art why should we
presume that we should continue to teach
them stuff so my job there is to create
a mini revolution and that revolution is
this one to treat the child like a human
being that has a mind and a heart of its
own – for the duration of a play to
forget that they are young which means
there’ll be no learning outcome
three that the child would not be told
how to sit or how to behave for that we
will trust them to have the strength to
face up to alternative realities
presented in front of them difficult
language they may not understand social
constructs or natural phenomenon they
haven’t yet encountered boredom and five
to support them through that process
should they find it disturbing or
confusing so this might mean one not
telling the child what’s happening – not
pointing at something in a teacher
leeway three not worrying if the child
is more interested in the ceiling than
the play for not endlessly feeding the
child so dad have got that off my chest
five not whisking them out of the room
if they start crying and never bring in
the back in again sometimes I witness
similar forms of what I call negative
adult intervention administered by the
actual play itself perhaps with
overacting or silly voices to maintain
attention at all times or relentless
audience participation so they don’t get
bored or stories that conclude with an
overtly moral or educational message or
just imitations of familiar stories and
situations so is not to challenge
expectation it seems to me this is an
art it’s a blind compliance its fear its
control and a notion that rather than
being regular human beings children are
some strange protected alien species the
people who do this they they think
they’re doing absolutely the right thing
but it’s not art art is the expression
or application of human creative skill
and imagination producing works to be
appreciated primarily for their beauty
or emotional power that’s from the
Oxford Dictionary art is something that
reveals the essential or hidden truth
not a copy of what we think the truth
should be theatre can ask the question
but if ever tries to answer the question
we close the conversation down with the
audience art is very very difficult to
make if you were bound by these rules
that have been
handed down on tablets of stone like no
one should get upset no one should be
scared or no one should cry or be
shocked or offended or have their views
challenged or their sense of world order
turned upside down since the artist
cannot hope to know the disposition or
circumstances of all the myriad people
who come into an auditorium they are
left only with their own idea of the
world at their disposal their own
creativity and impulses and fascinations
which is why when people ask me are
there any topics you cannot put in front
of children my answer would be no none
thank you
[Applause]
you
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